Christmas 2012 TOTP2

Ah, good winter, ye merry gentlemen and tipsy ladies

and kids who've had too much fizzy pop.

Let's get this party started.

First, Slade.

Dave's turn with the top hat this year, evidently.

# Are you hanging up a stocking on your wall?

# It's the time that every Santa has a ball

# Does he ride a red-nosed reindeer?

# Does he turn up on his sleigh?

# Do the fairies keep him sober for a day?

# So here it is, merry Christmas

# Everybody's having fun

# Look to the future now

# It's only just begun...

# Are you waiting for the family to arrive?

# Are you sure you've got the room to spare inside?

# Does your granny always tell you

# That the old songs are the best

# And then she's up and rock and rolling with the rest?

# So here it is, merry Christmas

# Everybody's having fun

# Look to the future now

# It's only just begun...

# What will your daddy do when he sees your mamma kissing Santa Claus?

# A-ha, ah!

# Are you hanging up your stocking on your wall?

# Are you hoping that the snow will start to fall?

# Do you ride on down the hillside

# In a buggy you have made?

# When you land upon your head, then you've been sleighed

# So here it is, merry Christmas

# Everybody's having fun

# Look to the future now

# It's only just begun

# So here it is, merry Christmas

# Everybody's having fun

# Look to the future now

# It's only just begun

# So here it is, merry Christmas

# Everybody's having fun

# Look to the future now

# It's only just begun

# So here it is merry Christmas

# Everybody's having fun... #

It's Christmas!

# It's only just begun. #

So, Noddy has spoken and now, officially,

"It's Christmas!"

and what better way to celebrate than with some prime Welsh beefcake

swaddled in some prime Chinese knitwear?

# Snow is falling

# All around me

# Children playing, having fun

# It's the season of love and understanding

# Merry Christmas, everyone

# Time for parties and celebrations

# People dancing all night long

# Time for presents and exchanging kisses

# Time for singing Christmas songs

# We're gonna have a party tonight

# I'm going to find that girl underneath the mistletoe

# We'll kiss by candlelight

# The room is swaying

# Records playing

# All the old songs we love to hear

# I wish that

# Every day was Christmas

# What a nice way to spend the year

# We're gonna have a party tonight

# I'm gonna find that girl underneath the mistletoe

# And kiss by candlelight

# Snow is falling

# All around me

# Children playing, having fun

# It's the season of love and understanding

# Merry Christmas, everyone

# Merry Christmas, everyone

# Ooh, Merry Christmas, everyone

# Snow is falling

# All around me

# Children playing, having fun

# It's the season of love and understanding

# Merry Christmas, everyone

# Snow is falling

# All around me

# Children playing, having fun

# It's the season of love and understanding

# Merry Christmas, everyone

# Oh, snow is falling

# All around me

# Children playing, having fun

# It's the season of love and understanding

# Merry Christmas, everyone... #

The dark prince of dad-dancing, Shakin' Stevens.

And more dodgy dancing now in a classic song from the Human League,

although you'll be focussing on the lavish set dressing.

Oh, look, a sparkly tree from the pound shop.

Wait till you see how much tinsel we bought.

There's the budget blown there.

# You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar

# When I met you

# I picked you out, I shook you up and turned you around

# Turned you into someone new

# Now five years later on you've got the world at your feet

# Success has been so easy for you

# But don't forget it's me who put you where you are now

# And I can put you back down, too

# Don't, don't you want me?

# You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me

# Don't, don't you want me?

# You know I don't believe you when you say that you don't need me

# It's much too late to find

# You think you've changed your mind

# You'd better change it back or we will both be sorry

# Don't you want me, baby?

# Don't you want me? Oh, oh-oh-oh

# Don't you want me, baby?

# Don't you want me? Oh, oh-oh-oh

# I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar

# That much is true

# But even then I knew I'd find a much better place

# Either with or without you

# The five years we have had have been such good times

# I still love you

# But now I think it's time I lived my life on my own

# I guess it's just what I must do

# Don't, don't you want me?

# You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me

# Don't, don't you want me?

# You know I don't believe you when you say that you don't need me

# It's much too late to find

# You think you'll change your mind

# You'd better change it back or we will both be sorry

# Don't you want me, baby?

# Don't you want me? Oh, oh-oh-oh

# Don't you want me, baby?

# Don't you want me? Oh, oh-oh-oh

# Don't you want me, baby?

# Don't you want me? Oh, oh-oh-oh.

# Don't you want me, baby?

# Don't you want me? Oh, oh-oh-oh.

# Don't you want me, baby? #

Ah, play string. Such fun, and a right gobfull for Joanne.

Never mind, soon wash that down with a Bacardi Breezer, eh?

The Wombles next, but who was it in the suits?

It was a secret at the time, but now it can be revealed.

Two members of Mud, Hoddle, Waddle, John Profumo

and, on saxophone,

Princess Margaret. Fancy.

# We wish you a Wombling Merry Christmas

# Open your eyes, look to the skies when you're lonely

# There will be stars shining for you

# Sleepers awake, it's getting late Snow is falling

# The whole wide world is wombling, too

# All day long we will be wombling in the snow

# We wish you a Wombling Merry Christmas

# All day long we will be laughing, as we go

# We wish you a Wombling

# Merry Christmas

# Under the ground There is a sound of a symphony

# The lights are low The fire is bright

# Wombling through I'll tune in to you

# You tune in to me

# We'll send a message into the night

# All day long we will be wombling in the snow

# We wish you a Wombling Merry Christmas

# All day long we will be laughing, as we go

# We wish you a Wombling Merry Christmas

# All day long we will be wombling in the snow

# We wish you a Wombling Merry Christmas

# All day long we will be laughing, as we go

# We wish you a Wombling Merry Christmas. #

Ah, here's Wham! now. And Top Gear fans,

check out George's textbook braking on an icy surface.

Pity he didn't apply the same care before he ran into Snappy Snaps.

# Last Christmas, I gave you my heart

# But the very next day, you gave it away

# This year, to save me from tears

# I'll give it to someone special

# Last Christmas, I gave you my heart

# But the very next day, you gave it away

# This year, to save me from tears

# I'll give it to someone special

# Once bitten and twice shy

# I keep my distance but you still catch my eye

# Tell me, baby, do you recognise me?

# Well, it's been a year It doesn't surprise me

# Merry Christmas I wrapped it up and sent it

# With a note saying "I love you", I meant it

# Now I know what a fool I've been

# But if you kissed me now

# I know you'd fool me again

# Last Christmas, I gave you my heart

# But the very next day, you gave it away

# This year, to save me from tears

# I'll give it to someone special

# Last Christmas, I gave you my heart

# But the very next day, you gave it away

# This year, to save me from tears

# I'll give it to someone special

# Oh-oh-oh

# Oh, my baby

# A crowded room Friends with tired eyes

# I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice

# My God, I thought you were someone to rely on

# Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on

# A face on a lover with a fire in his heart

# A man undercover but you tore me apart

# Ooh-hoo Now I've found a real love

# You'll never fool me again

# Last Christmas, I gave you my heart

# But the very next day, you gave it away

# This year, to save me from tears

# I'll give it to someone special

# Last Christmas, I gave you my heart

# But the very next day, you gave it away

# This year, to save me from tears

# I'll give it to someone special

# A face on a lover with a fire in his heart

-# I gave you my heart.

-#

Yeah, power cut, so nobody's hairdryer works,

so that's why they're all off home.

Now, this is what passed for entertainment in those days

and, thanks to the miracle of time travel,

surly tennis whiz Andy Murray on the drums.

# Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way

# We wonder what the other groups are doing this Christmas Day

# We don't know, but we thought and we have a hunch

# This is what The Rolling Stones had for Christmas lunch

MUSIC INTRO TO "ALL OVER NOW"

# We got our Christmas dinner now people stare

# We killed our little red rooster for Christmas fare

# No matter what we do it still tastes drastic

# For how can you cook a piece of record plastic?

# Well, we had our dinner But it's all over now

# Now we have a jukebox man who always looks dead smart

# The jukebox and his jury can tear this song apart... #

Let's see what the jury think about this next Christmas song.

MUSIC INTRO TO THE ANIMALS' "HOUSE OF THE RISING SUN"

# We had to work hard all the year

# And had no time for fun

# But now we're off to celebrate

# Down the road in The Rising Sun

# We saw this today as we walked through the snow

# Honey kissing Santa Claus beneath the mistletoe... #

Hello, my name's Pete Murray.

I don't know what the rest of The Honeycombs would think. Do you?

# Has she the right to kiss him?

# Because we know she'll miss him

# When he goes back until next year

# Oh, oh, no

# Do you need him? Sigh some sighs

# Why don't you realise

# You haven't kissed us in a year?

# This next group are three boys who deserve a rest

# The next DJ might wish them A whiter than white Christmas... #

Hi there, pop pickers.

Here we have three bachelor boys.

One from each watch, of course.

# Wait for me

# My Diane

# I'll go out and get some more Christmas grub

# Christmas grub

-# You stay here

-Ooo-ooh

-# My Diane

-My Diane

# Cos Ramona's waiting round at the pub

-# Wait for me... #

-Pass the bottle, Paddy.

-Hic!

-# My Diane.

-My Diane, my Diane

MUSIC INTRO TO THE SUPREMES' "BABY LOVE"

# Oooh-ooh-ooh

# Sixpences are very good

# If you find them in your Christmas pud

-# But it might get you down

-Don't throw your food away

# If you find half a crown

# Ooo-ooh, ooo-ooh, ooo-oooh, oooh

MUSIC INTRO TO THE BEATLES' "TWIST AND SHOUT"

-# Well, pass the turkey, George.

-Turkey, George

-# Let's eat and drink

-Eat and drink

-# We've had just about everything

-Everything

-# Except the kitchen sink

-Kitchen sink

# Oooh!

# Aaah

# Aaah

# Aaah

# Shout, shout, shout Let's scream it out

# Make it a ball Free for all

# Lots of cheer in your New Year Let's drink! #

To be fair, quite a lot of work in that and a very good Stones takeoff.

The Darkness now. Ooh, nice outfit, Justin. Wipe-clean - very practical.

And look out for Ruth Jones

as Ness out of Gavin And Stacey on the drums.

# Feigning joy and surprise

# At the gifts we despise over mulled wine

# With you

# On the 25th day

# Of the 12th month The sleigh bells are in time

# Ringing true

# How we cling each Noel to that snowflake's hope in hell

# That it won't end

# Don't let the bells end

# Christmas time Just let them ring in peace

# Well, the weather is cruel

# And the season of Yule warms the heart

# But it still hurts

# So that's why I pray each and every Christmas Day

# That it won't end

# Don't let the bells end

# Christmas time Just let them ring in peace

# Christmas time Don't let the bells end

# Christmas time Don't let the bells end

# Poised underneath the mistletoe leaf

# And you're not here

# You went away on Boxing Day

# Now how the hell am I gonna make it into the New Year?

# Christmas time Don't let the bells end

# Christmas time Don't let the bells end

# Christmas time Don't let the bells end

# Christmas time Just let them ring in peace. #

Come on, kids!

Wow, seven songs in and that's our first children's choir.

It had to happen, though.

Meanwhile, over at the army surplus store,

some very unconvincing bugle playing is going on.

# Hey, Mr Churchill comes over here

# To say we're doing splendidly

# But it's very cold out here in the snow

# Marching to and from the enemy

# Oh, I say it's tough I have had enough

# Can you stop the cavalry?

# I have had to fight almost every night

# Down throughout these centuries

# That is when I say Oh, yes, yet again

# Can you stop the cavalry?

# Mary Bradley waits at home in the nuclear fall-out zone

# Wish I could be dancing now in the arms of the girl I love

# Dub-a-dub-dum, dum-dum Dub-a-dub-dum, dum

# Dub-a-dum, dum, dub-a-dum Dub-a-dub-a-dum

# Dub-a-dub-dum, dum-dum Dub-a-dub-dum, dum

# Dub-a-dum, dum, dub-a-dum Dub-a-dub-a-dum

# Wish I was at home for Christmas

# Bang, that's another bomb on another town

# While Luzar and Jim have tea

# If I get home live to tell the tale

# I'll run for all presidencies

# If I get elected, I'll stop

# I will stop the cavalry

# Dub-a-dub-dum, dum-dum Dub-a-dub-dum, dum

# Dub-a-dum, dum, dub-a-dum Dub-a-dub-a-dum

# Dub-a-dub-dum, dum-dum Dub-a-dub-dum, dum

# Dub-a-dum, dum, dub-a-dum Dub-a-dub-a-dum

Wish I was at home for Christmas

# Wish I could be dancing now in the arms of the girl I love

# Mary Bradley waits at home She's been waiting two years long

# Wish I was at home for Christmas. #

And next, the mighty, mighty Ramones with a message of

Christmas peace and love. Featuring Joey on vocals and Johnny on guitar,

who didn't speak to each other for 20 years. Goodwill to all men, eh?

Except the one who ran off with your girlfriend, possibly.

-What?

-We were supposed to visit my parents in Minneola

but, no, we have to have a Christmas party for your friends!

-My friends?

-Yes!

-What about your friends?

-I don't have any friends!

# Merry Christmas I don't want to fight tonight

# Merry Christmas I don't want to fight tonight

# Merry Christmas I don't want to fight tonight

# Merry Christmas I don't want to fight tonight

# With you

# Where is Santa and his sleigh?

# Tell me why is it always this way?

# Where is Rudolph? Where is Blitzen, baby?

# Merry Christmas Merry, merry, merry Christmas

# All the children are tucked in their beds

# Sugar-plum fairies dancing in their heads

# Snowball fighting It's so exciting, baby

# I love you and you love me and that's the way it's got to be

# I loved you from the start

# Cos Christmas ain't the time for breaking each other's heart

# Where is Santa and his sleigh?

# Tell me why is it always this way?

# Where is Rudolph? Where is Blitzen, baby?

# Merry Christmas Merry, merry, merry Christmas

# All the children are tucked in their beds

# Sugar-plum fairies dancing in their heads

# Snowball fighting It's so exciting, baby

# Yeah, yeah, yeah

# I love you and you love me and that's the way it's got to be

# I loved you from the start

# Cos Christmas ain't the time for breaking each other's heart

# Merry Christmas I don't want to fight tonight

# Merry Christmas I don't want to fight tonight

# Merry Christmas I don't want to fight tonight

# With you. #

Alexandra Burke now. It's starts slowly, this, but don't worry -

there is an oven-ready choir coming along in a minute or two,

to liven things up.

# I heard there was a secret chord

# That David played and it pleased the Lord

# But you don't really care for music, do ya?

# Well, it goes like this The fourth, the fifth

# The minor fall and the major lift

# The baffled king composing Hallelujah

# Hallelujah

# Hallelujah

# Hallelujah

# Hallelu-u-u-u-jah

# The faith was strong but you needed proof

# You saw her bathing on the roof

# Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya

# She tied you to her kitchen chair

# She broke your throne and she cut your hair

# And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

# Hallelujah

# Hallelujah

# Hallelujah

# Halleluu-u-u-u-jah... #

# Maybe there's a God above

# But all I've ever learned from love

# Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya

# And it's not a cry that you hear at night

# It's not someone who's seen the light

# It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

# Hallelujah

# Hallelujah

# Hallelujah

# Hallelujah

# Hallelujah

# Hallelujah

# Hallelujah

# Whoa!

# Hallelujah

# Hallelujah!

# Hallelu-u-u-u-jah... #

APPLAUSE

# Hallelujah

# Hallelu-u-u-u-jah. #

Next, Britain's foremost male vocal group,

performing in front of a large shower curtain(!)

You probably had to be there,

though, personally, I'm glad I wasn't.

# We'll drink a drink, a drink

# To Lily The Pink, The Pink, The Pink

# The saviour of the human race

# For she invented medicinal compound

# Most efficacious in every case

# Mr Frears had sticky-out ears

# And it made him awful shy

# So they gave him medicinal compound

# Now he's seen, but never 'eard

# Auntie Milly ran willy-nilly

# And so they put her in a home

# Where they gave her medicinal compound

# And now he joins in all their games

# We'll drink a drink, a drink

# To Lily The Pink, The Pink, The Pink

# The saviour of the human race

# For she invented medicinal compound

# Most efficacious in every case

# Old Jennifer Eccles had terrible freckles

# And so they put her in a home

# Where they gave her medicinal compound

# And now they move her around on wheels

# Lily The Pink, she turned to the drink, she

# Filled up with paraffin inside

# And despite her medicinal compound

# Sadly, pickled Lily died... #

Ah!

(SOUTHERN PREACHER VOICE) Up to heaven...

# Up to heaven... #

..Her soul ascended.

# Her soul ascended... #

All the church bells, they did ring.

# All the church bells, they did ring... #

She took with her...

# She took with her... #

..Medicinal compound.

# Medicinal compound... #

Hark, the herald angels sing.

# Hark, the herald angels sing

# Oh...

# We'll...

# Drink a drink, a drink

# To Lily The Pink, The Pink, The Pink

# The saviour of the human race

# When she invented medicinal compound

# Most efficacious

# In every case. #

-APPLAUSE

-The one on the left, by the way,

was called Mike McCartney, whose brother was someone famous.

Can't remember who(!)

# The mood is right

# The spirit's up

# We're here tonight

# And that's enough

# Simply having a wonderful Christmastime

# Simply having a wonderful Christmastime

# The party's on

# The feeling's here

# That only comes

# This time of year

# Simply having a wonderful Christmastime

# Simply having a wonderful Christmastime

# The choir of children sing their song... #

SYNTHESIZER RIFF

# Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding

# Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

# Ooh, ooh, ooh, doo, doo, ooh

# Doo-doo, doo-doo doo-doo, doo... #

GUITAR SOLO

# We're simply having a wonderful Christmastime

# Simply having a wonderful Christmastime

# The word is out

# About the town

# To lift a glass

# Oh, and don't look down

# Simply having a wonderful Christmastime

# The choir of children sing their song

# They practiced all year long

# Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding

# Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong Ding-dong, dong

# The party's on, the spirit's up

# We're here tonight

# And that's enough

# Simply having a wonderful Christmastime

# We're simply having

# A wonderful Christmastime... #

APPLAUSE

And now, another supergroup, consisting of two members of Mud,

Hoddle, Waddle... oh, no, hang on, it's The Greedies.

Three Thin Lizzys, two Sex Pistols...

# And a partridge in a pear tree. #

GUITAR RIFF

# We wish you a merry Christmas

# We wish you a merry Christmas

# We wish you a merry Christmas

# And a happy New Year

# We wish you a merry Christmas

# We wish you a merry Christmas

# We wish you a merry Christmas

# And a happy New Year... #

GUITAR RIFF

# Jingle bells, jingle, jangle Jingle all the way

# Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh

# Hey!

# Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way

# Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh

# Hey!

# Jingle bells, jingle, jangle Jangle all the way

# Oh, what fun it is to ride

# Oh, what fun it is to ride

# Oh, what fun it is to ride

# In a one-horse open sleigh

# We wish you a merry Christmas

# We wish you a merry Christmas

# We wish you a merry Christmas

# And a happy New Year

# Jingle bells, jingle, jangle

# Jingle all the way

# Oh, what fun it is to ride

# In a one-horse open sleigh

# Hey!

# Jingle bells, jingle, jangle

# Jangle all the way

# Oh, what fun it is to ride

# Oh, what fun it is to ride

# Oh, what fun it is to ride

# in a one-horse open sleigh

# We wish you a merry Christmas

# We wish you a merry Christmas

# We wish you a merry Christmas

# And a happy New Year... #

So, Happy Christmas from all of us here at Top Of The Pops 2.

Say, why don't we nip over to Santa's grotto...

in Bristol's St Pauls?

Dreadlock beard. Nice touch.

# Ethnic-orientrated reggae sound

# Come to turn this world upside down

# Christmastime is in the air again

# And old, old enemies now turning friends

# Well...

# Tell me you feel all right O, Holy Night

# Tell me you feel all right Silent Night

# Tell me you feel all right

# And just rejoice

# Tell me you feel all right

# Down here in Bristol

# We are coming alive

# Making way for 1985

# Caution, motorists

# If you drink, don't drive

# Stay alive Let your dreams materialise

# Well, and Jah will make you feel all right

# O, Holy Night

# Jah will make you feel all right Silent Night

# Jah will make you feel all right

# Hey, just rejoice

# Jah will make you feel all right

# It's a reggae, reggae, reggae, reggae, reggae, reggae

# Reggae, reggae Christmas on Ebony

# It's a reggae, reggae, reggae, reggae, reggae, reggae

# Reggae, reggae Christmas Everybody, have a

# Merry, merry, merry, merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas

# Have a merry, merry, merry, merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas

# 1984 is gone for sure

# 1985 is just next door

# Reggae music is the only cure

# To bridge the gap between the rich and poor, yes

# All owed by the soul around the world

# Lord, all owed by the soul around the world

# It's a reggae, reggae, reggae, reggae, reggae, reggae

# Reggae, reggae Christmas

# It's a reggae, reggae, reggae, reggae, reggae, reggae

# Reggae, reggae Christmas, aye

# Have a reggae, reggae, reggae, reggae, reggae, reggae,

# Reggae, Ebony Christmas, all right

# Have a merry, merry, merry, merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas. #

Apparently, reggae music is the only cure

to bridge the gap between rich and poor.

Well, good luck with that, Mikey(!)

I'll leave you to pass the message on to Roman Abramovich.

Now, this is more than a little surreal.

# Ba-da-da-dum

# Ba-da-da-dum

# Looking from a window above

# It's like a story of love

# Can you hear me?

# Came back only yesterday

# Moving further away

# Want you near me

# All I needed was the love you gave

# All I needed for another day

# All I ever knew

# Only you

# Sometimes when I think of your name

# And it's only a game

# And I need you

# Listening to the words that you say

# Getting harder to stay

# When I see you

# All I needed was the love you gave

# All I needed for another day

# And all I ever knew

# Only you

# Ba-da, ba-da, ba-da, da, da

# Ba-da, da, da Ba-da, da, da

# Ba-da, ba-da, ba-da, da, da

# Ba-da, da, da Ba-da, da, da

# All I needed was the love you gave

# All I needed for another day

# All I ever knew

# Only you

# This is gonna take a long time

# And I wonder what's mine

# Can't take no more

# Wonder if you'll understand

It's just the touch of your hand

# Behind a closed door

# All I needed was the love you gave

# All I needed for another day

# All I ever knew

# Only you

# Ba-da, da, da. #

Mummy, make the scary men go away. Phew, they're melting.

And here's Dana. Everything's going to be all right, after all.

# It's gonna be a cold, cold Christmas

# Without you

# Dreaming of those warm, warm lazy summer days

# It's gonna be a long and lonely Christmas

# Without you

# Missing you, my darling in, oh, so many ways

# Yesterday I saw your mom and dad

# We bought our cards together

# I've put the presents on the Christmas tree

# And there I write this letter

# It's warm inside

# The log fire's burning bright

# Oh, darling, if only you were here to make it right

# It's gonna be a cold, cold Christmas

# Without you

# Dreaming of those warm, warm lazy summer days

# It's gonna be a long and lonely Christmas

# Without you

# Missing you, my darling in, oh, so many ways

# I didn't bother with the mistletoe

# You won't be here to kiss me

# The only consolation that I've got

# I'll know for sure you miss me

# It won't be long

# Until you're home again

# And we can share these magic moments

# But till then

# It's gonna be a cold, cold Christmas

# Without you

# Dreaming of those warm, warm lazy summer days

# It's gonna be a long and lonely Christmas

# Without you

# Missing you, my darling. #

Ah, yes, lovely Dana. Looks very sweet but could be vicious if riled.

Why else do you think they put her in that cage?

A perennial favourite now.

And at the piano, the thinking man's Liberace.

# It was Christmas Eve, babe

# In the drunk tank

# An old man said to me

# "Won't see another one"

# And then he sang a song

# The Rare Old Mountain Dew

# I turned my face away

# And dreamed about you

# Got on a lucky one

# Came in 18-1

# I've got a feeling

# This year's for me and you

# So, happy Christmas

# I love you, baby

# I can see a better time

# When all our dreams come true

# They've got cars big as bars They've got rivers of gold

# But the wind goes right through you, it's no place for the old

# When you first took my hand on a cold Christmas Eve

# You promised me Broadway was waiting for me

-# You were handsome

-You were pretty

# Queen of New York City

# When the band finished playing they howled out for more

# Sinatra was swinging All the drunks they were singing

# We kissed on a corner then danced through the night

# The boys of the NYPD Choir

# Were singing Galway Bay

# And the bells were ringing out for Christmas Day

# You're a bum, you're a punk

# You're an old slut on junk

# Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed

# You scumbag, you maggot You cheap lousy faggot

# Happy Christmas, you arse I pray God it's our last

# The boys of the NYPD Choir

# Still singing Galway Bay

# And the bells are ringing out for Christmas Day

# I could have been someone

# Well, so could anyone

# You took my dreams from me

# When I first found you

# I kept them with me, babe

# I put them with my own

# Can't make it all alone

# I've built my dreams around you

# The boys of the NYPD Choir

# Still singing Galway Bay

# And the bells are ringing out for Christmas Day. #

Kirsty and Shane, the Kylie and Jason of the snug bar.

OK, Christmas for the Pet Shop Boys has come round again and, look,

Neil has bought Chris a new hat and a home computer. And, for Neil,

that's right, cufflinks again.

And a shirt with too large a collar. "Cheers, mate(!)"

# Maybe I didn't treat you

# Quite as good as I should

# Maybe I didn't love you

# Quite as often as I could

# Little things I should've said and done

# I never took the time

# You were always on my mind

# You were always on my mind

# Maybe I didn't hold you

# All those lonely, lonely times

# And I guess I never told you

# I'm so happy that you're mine

# If I made you feel second best

# I'm so sorry, I was blind

# You were always on my mind

# You were always on my mind

# Tell me

# Tell me that your sweet love hasn't died

# Give me

# One more chance to keep you satisfied

# Satisfied

# Little things I should've said and done

# I never took the time

# You were always on my mind

# You were always on my mind

# Tell me

# Tell me that your sweet love hasn't died

# Give me

# One more chance to keep you satisfied

# You were always on my mind

# You were always on my mind

# You were always on my mind

# You were always on my mind

# You were always on my mind

# You were always on my mind

# Maybe I didn't treat you

# Quite as good as I should

# Maybe I didn't love you

# Quite as often as I could

# Maybe I didn't hold you

# All those lonely, lonely times

# And I guess I never told you

# I'm so happy that you're mine. #

And next, marooned at the bottom of some stairs leading nowhere,

surrounded by weirdos moving slowly, it's the goddess Francoise Hardy.

# I'm the song of winter

# I'm the falling snow

# Can't you hear me calling you

# Whenever the north wind blows?

# I'm the cool of evening

# I'm the velvet sky

# Can't you hear me calling you

# Whenever the breeze passes by?

# Oh, can't you hear me calling?

# Oh, can't you hear my love?

# Oh, can't you hear me calling you?

# For wherever you are

# I am sending my love

# I'm the misty rainbow

# I'm a falling star

# Can't you hear me calling you?

# My love is wherever you are

# Oh, can't you hear me calling?

# Oh, can't you hear my love?

# Oh, can't you hear me calling you?

# On the day you return

# I'll be waiting, my love

# I'm the song of winter

# I'm the falling snow

# I'm the cool of evening

# I'm a velvet sky. #

All right, boys and girls, we scared you with The Flying Pickets

and you still wouldn't behave.

Now here are some more terrifying snowmen.

Think of this as a final warning.

# Put your left leg in Your left leg out

# In, out, in, out Shake it all about

# Do the Hokey Cokey and you turn around

# That's what it's all about

# Oh, Hokey Cokey, Cokey

# Oh, Hokey Cokey, Cokey

# Oh, Hokey Cokey, Cokey

# Knees bent, arms stretched Rah, rah, rah

# Put your right leg in Your right leg out

# In, out, in, out Shake it all about

# Do the Hokey Cokey and you turn around

# That's what it's all about

# Oh, Hokey Cokey, Cokey

# Oh, Hokey Cokey, Cokey

# Oh, Hokey Cokey, Cokey

# Knees bent, arms stretched Rah, rah, rah

# Put your left arm in Your left arm out

# In, out, in, out Shake it all about

# Do the Hokey Cokey and you turn around

# That's what it's all about

# Oh, Hokey Cokey, Cokey

# Oh, Hokey Cokey, Cokey

# Oh, Hokey Cokey, Cokey

# Knees bent, arms stretched Rah, rah, rah

# Put your right arm in Your right arm out

# In, out, in, out Shake it all about

# Do the Hokey Cokey and you turn around

# That's what it's all about

# Oh, Hokey Cokey, Cokey

# Oh, Hokey Cokey, Cokey

# Oh, Hokey Cokey, Cokey

# Knees bent, arms stretched Rah, rah, rah

# Oh, Hokey Cokey, Cokey

# Oh, Hokey Cokey, Cokey

# Oh, Hokey Cokey, Cokey

# Knees bent, arms stretched Rah, rah, rah

# Put your whole self in Your whole self out

# In, out, in, out Shake it all about

# Do the Hokey Cokey and you turn around

# That's what it's all about

# Oh, Hokey Cokey, Cokey

# Oh, Hokey Cokey, Cokey

# Oh, Hokey Cokey, Cokey

# Knees bent, arms stretched Rah, rah, rah

# Oh, Hokey Cokey, Cokey

# Oh, Hokey Cokey, Cokey

# Oh, Hokey Cokey, Cokey

# Knees bent, arms stretched Rah, rah, rah. #

Deeply strange. A Christmas night with the stars now.

How many can you spot? Not sure of the first one, though, are you?

# The road is long

# With many a winding turn

# That leads us to who

# Who knows where

# Who knows when?

# But I'm strong

# Strong enough to carry him

# He ain't heavy

# He's my brother

# So on we go

# His welfare is of my concern

# No burden is he to bear

# We'll get there

# For I know

# He would not encumber me

# He ain't heavy

# He's my brother

# If I'm laden, laden at all

# I'm laden with sadness

# That everyone's heart

# Isn't filled with gladness

# Of love

# For one another

# It's a long, long road

# From which there is no return

# While we're on our way

# To there, why not share?

# And the load

# It doesn't weigh me down at all

# Cos he ain't heavy

# He ain't heavy He's my brother

# No, no, no

# He's my brother

# He's my brother Oh, yes, he is

# He's my brother

# He ain't heavy

# He's my brother

# He ain't heavy. #

Meanwhile, over in west London,

a drop-in centre for rampant egomaniacs experiences a busy time

over the festive period.

# It's Christmas time

# There's no need to be afraid

# At Christmas time

# We let in light

# And we banish shade

# And in our world of plenty

# We can spread a smile of joy

# Throw your arms around the world

# At Christmas time

# But say a prayer

# Pray for the other ones

# At Christmas time, it's hard

# But when you're having fun

# There's a world outside your window

# And it's a world of dread and fear

# Where the only water flowing

# Is the bitter sting of tears

# And the Christmas bells that ring there

# Are the clanging chimes of doom

# Well, tonight

# Thank God it's them, instead of you

# And there won't be snow in Africa

# This Christmas time

# The greatest gift they'll get this year is life

# Oh-oh-hoh

# Where nothing ever grows

# No rain or rivers flow

# Do they know it's Christmas

# Time at all?

# Here's to you

# Raise a glass for everyone

# Here's to them

# Underneath that burning sun

# Do they know it's Christmas time at all?

# Feed the world

# Feed the world

# Feed the world

# Let them know it's Christmas time

# Feed the world

# Let them know it's Christmas time

# Feed the world. #

And all for a good cause, so smiles all round.

Well, except for Paul Weller, obviously.

More Christmas knitwear in evidence now. Fatboy Slim in the middle,

by the way, before he moved on

from bad knitwear to bad shirts.

# Are you ready?

# Are you ready?

# Are you ready?

# Are you ready?

# Are you ready for the time of your life?

# It's time to stand up and fight

# It's all right, it's all right

# Hand in hand, we'll take a caravan to the motherland

# One by one we going to stand up with pride

# One that can't be denied

# Stand up, stand up

# From the highest mountain Valley low

# We'll join together with hearts of gold

# Now the children of the world can see

# This a better place for us to be

# The place in which we were born

# So neglected and torn apart

# Every woman, every man

# Join the caravan of love

-# Stand up

-Stand up

# Stand up

# Everybody take a stand

# Join the caravan of love

-# Stand up

-Stand up

# Stand up

# I'm your brother

# I'm your brother, don't you know?

# She's my sister

# She's my sister, don't you know?

# We'll be living

# In a world of peace

# In the day when everyone is free

# We'll bring the young and the old

# Won't you let your love flow from your heart?

# Every woman every man

# Join the caravan of love

-# Stand up

-Stand up

# Stand up

# Everybody take a stand

# Join the caravan of love

-# Stand up

-Stand up

# Stand up

# I'm your brother

# I'm your brother, don't you know?

-# She's my sister

-We're waiting

# We're waiting

-# She's my sister, don't you know?

-We're waiting

# Waiting for the caravan

-# So are you ready?

-He's coming

-# Are you ready?

-He's coming. #

And, believe it or not, the lads did all their own choreography there.

I know!

I felt sure Craig Revel Horwood had a hand in that.

Right, now let's remind ourselves of the real meaning of Christmas,

as we recap the story of the nativity.

And I don't want to spoil it, but she has a baby at the end.

# Ay-ay-ay-ay

# Feels like fire

# I'm so in love with you

# Purge the soul

# Make love your goal

# The power of love

# A force from above

# Cleaning my soul

# Flame on burn desire

# Love with tongues of fire

# Purge the soul

# Make love your goal

# I'll protect you from the Hooded Claw

# Keep the vampires from your door

# When the chips are down I'll be around

# With my undying death-defying love for you

# Envy will hurt itself

# Let yourself be beautiful

# Sparkling love, flowers and pearls and pretty girls

# Love is like an energy

# Rushin' in Rushin' inside of me

# Hey

# The power of love

# A force from above

# Cleaning my soul

# Flame on burn desire

# Love with tongues of fire

# Purge the soul

# Make love your goal

# This time we go sublime

# Lovers entwine Divine, divine

# Love is danger, love is pleasure

# Love is pure, the only treasure

# I'm so in love with you

# Purge the soul

# Make love your goal

# The power of love

# A force from above

# Cleaning my soul

# The power of love

# A force from above

# A sky-scraping dove

# Flame on burn desire

# Love with tongues of fire

# Purge the soul

# Make love your goal. #

The reactivated Girls Aloud now. A lot of wriggling about here

but then they were suffering from hives at the time.

# Disco dancing with the lights down low

# Beats are pumping on the stereo

# Neighbours banging on the bathroom wall

# You're saying, crank the bass I gotta get some more

# Water's running in the wrong direction

# Got a feeling it's a mixed-up sign

# I can see it in my own reflection

# Something funny's going on inside my mind

# Don't know what It's pushing me higher

# It's the static from the floor below

# Then it drops and catches like a fire

# It's a sound, I It's a sound I know

# It's the sound of the underground

# The beat of the drum goes round and round

# Into the overflow

# Where the girls get down to the sound of the radio

# Out to the electric night

# Where the bass line jumps in the backstreet lights

# The beat goes around and round

# It's the sound of the under

# Sound of the underground

# Chain reaction running through my veins

# Pumps the bass line up into my brain

# Screws my mind until I lose control

# And when the building rocks I know it's got my soul

# Water's running in the wrong direction

# Got a feeling it's a mixed-up sign

# I can see it in my own reflection

# Something funny's going on inside my mind

# Don't know what It's pushing me higher

# It's the static from the floor below

# Then it drops and catches like a fire

# It's a sound, I It's a sound I know

# It's the sound of the underground

# The beat of the drum goes round and round

# Into the overflow

# Where the girls get down to the sound of the radio

# Out to the electric night

# Where the bass line jumps in the backstreet lights

# The beat goes around and round

# It's the sound of the under

# Sound of the underground

# It's a sound, I It's a sound I know

# It's the sound of the underground

# The beat of the drum goes round and round

# Into the overflow

# Where the girls get down to the sound of the radio

# Out to the electric night

# Where the bass line jumps in the backstreet lights

# The beat goes around and round

# It's the sound of the under

# Sound of the underground

# The bass line jumps in the backstreet light

# It's the sound of the under

# Sound of the underground. #

OK, we're nearly there now.

Just a couple of classics to finish off with.

War is over, if you want it,

and reggae music has bridged the gap between rich and poor - brilliant!

Let's crack open the Pomagne, then.

# So, this is Christmas

# And what have you done?

# Another year over

# And a new one just begun

# And so this is Christmas

# I hope you have fun

# The near and the dear ones

# The old and the young

# A very merry Christmas

# And a happy New Year

# Let's hope it's a good one

# Without any fear

-# And so this is Christmas

-War is over

-# For weak and for strong

-If you want it

-# The rich and the poor ones

-War is over

-# The road is so long

-Ah-ah-ah

-# And so, happy Christmas

-War is over

-# For black and for white

-If you want it

-# For yellow and red ones

-War is over

-# Let's stop all the fight

-Ah-ah-ah

# A very merry Christmas

# And a happy New Year

# Let's hope it's a good one

# Without any fear

-# And so, this is Christmas

-War is over

-# And what have we done?

-If you want it

-# Another year over

-War is over

-# And a new one just begun

-Ah-ah-ah

-# And so, happy Christmas

-War is over

-# We hope you have fun

-If you want it

-# The near and the dear ones

-War is over

-# The old and the young

-Ah-ah-ah

# A very merry Christmas

# And a happy New Year

# Let's hope it's a good one

# Without any fear

# War is over. #

Yes, same to you, John and Yoko. Last one now.

Some years, we start with Wizzard and finish with Slade.

This year, the other way round!

You can't say we're not wackily unpredictable.

From all of us here at Top Of The Pops 2,

season's greetings, happy New Year and beware of the Snowmen.

Have a good one.

# When the snowman brings the snow

# Well, he just might like to know

# He's put a great big smile on

# Somebody's face

# If you jump into your bed

# Quickly cover up your head

# Don't you lock the doors, you know

# That sweet Santa Claus is on the way

# Well, I wish it could be Christmas every day

# When the kids start singing and the band begins to play

# Oh, I wish it could be Christmas every day

# Let the bells ring out for Christmas

# When we're skating in the park

# If the storm cloud paints it dark

# Then your rosy cheeks are gonna light my merry way

# Now the frosticles appear

# And they've frozen up my beard

# So, we'll lie by the fire till the sleep simply melts them all away

# Well, I wish it could be Christmas every day

# When the kids start singing and the band begins to play

# Oh, I wish it could be Christmas every day

# So, let the bells ring out for Christmas

# When the snowman brings the snow

# Well he just might like to know

# He's put a great big smile on somebody's face

# So if Santa brings that sleigh

# All along the Milky Way

# I'll sign my name on the rooftop in the snow

# Then he may decide to stay

# Well, I wish it could be Christmas every day

# When the kids start singing and the band begins to play

# Oh, I wish it could be Christmas every day

# So, let the bells ring out for Christmas... #

OK, you lot, take it.

# Well, I wish it could be Christmas every day

# When the kids start singing and the band begins to play

# I wish it could be Christmas every day

# Let the bells ring out for Christmas

# Why don't you give your love

# For Christmas? #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media