Life at 100 Panorama

# Happy birthday to you... #

In 1917, George V started a royal tradition.

He sent a telegram to every person who turned 100.

# ..Happy birthday... #

That year, he sent 24.

"I send my congratulations on such a special occasion."

How nice.

That's for you.

In this year alone,

his granddaughter the Queen is expected to send more than 6,000.

-Many happy returns.

-Aren't I lucky?

This is you in the card. That's brilliant.

One in three children born today are likely to see their 100th birthday.

All this points to a major shift in society.

Thanks to the miracle of medicine and the profound

changes in our lifestyles, we are living longer.

CHEERING

But there are many serious consequences for us all.

Ones we've yet to confront -

for the NHS...

We've had good times with the health.

But there's so many of us and that's making it very difficult.

..for pensions...

I've no idea what my pension is.

Obviously I'm not starving.

-Can we come in?

-..for care...

There's so many people getting to be old these days

and they all need help.

..and for families.

I want to be able to manage it all and I find that overwhelming.

It's not always easy being 100.

-You look after your son, don't you?

-Yes. But shall I tell you something?

I would rather I put him to rest

while I'm here than I should leave him behind alone.

That doesn't sound natural for a mother to say that, does it?

I'm Joan Bakewell.

A decade ago, the government made me the voice of older people.

And in the years that followed, I discovered

many of the problems older people have to face.

Well, I'm getting pretty old myself now. I'm in my mid-80s,

closer to those problems all the time.

So I'm going to find out what life's like for those who are 100 and more.

I'm lucky to be 101 years old.

Nobody wants to die.

I don't feel old. It's only a number.

I can't say it's a very good life.

You feel you want to do things and you can't.

I think I can be an asset.

The world could learn a lot from people my age.

I've had a good life and I've persevered with myself.

George Francis Patrick Emmerson.

I bought a badge when I was 101 and I went into the restaurant

and I said to everybody,

"Put down your mobile phones, shut them off, shut your pagers

"and listen to me. I'm 101 years old."

And they all clapped.

Life is worth living. Every minute of it.

That's why I hate going to bed early.

I hate sleeping. I can't sleep.

I go to bed at two o'clock in the morning sometimes.

Television's on and I'm not even watching it, you know,

I'm just listening to the voices.

-George.

-Hello.

-I'm Joan. I've come to visit you.

-Hello, Joan.

-Can I have a cup of tea?

-Yes.

-So you're walking well.

-I can't grumble at 101, can I?

-No, certainly can't. So you look after yourself, do you?

-Yes.

-So you get around your house quite easily.

-Yes, I manage.

We'll get to know each other.

-There's nothing like a cup of tea for making friends.

-Oh, dear.

-I remember my grandma died in our house.

-Do you?

-That was some time ago.

-That was some time ago.

Watch out. Watch out.

Do you spend a lot of time remembering the past?

I can remember it in detail. I can remember the fashion changes,

what life was like before electricity.

All my brothers and sisters have died

and I'm the only one survived.

I think my mother would have been very proud of me.

I'm a fighter. I don't give in easily.

George is an artist. He'd loved to have been a professional.

When you're looking for something, you can't find it.

Instead, he earned his living as a tax officer. An unusual tax officer.

He often liked to include a little painting with the tax demands

he sent out.

Now he has cataracts, his eyesight is failing.

I do paintings from memory now. A lot more than I used to.

I've got a very good memory.

I retain a memory of a thing that I pass, I can paint it.

George's son lives nearby and he has a cleaner who comes

regularly and who doubles as a carer.

But loneliness can be a problem and he tries to keep himself active.

# I'm forever blowing bubbles

# Pretty bubbles in the air... #

My name is May Ethel Bareham.

I am 104. February I shall be 105.

I've still got some teeth!

What else have I got?

May lives in Mersea, Essex.

She has a flat in council-owned sheltered housing.

-So this is your seat?

-Yes.

The choice of seat is enormously important.

This is the afternoon one.

I get the sun until the sunset.

As we get older, our horizons can narrow.

May values her independence.

What would you do if you had an emergency?

-I got a button.

-You got that with you?

So I just press the button and medics come in.

So I want to stay here...

to the end, if I can.

Cos it's all very well going in a home.

But you've lost all your independence, haven't you, really?

Take me bag. OK, dear.

And I can still walk down the lobby.

I've got the rail, I've got me sticks.

I've always wanted to be independent.

I've had a good life and I've persevered with myself.

So many of my friends have all passed on that were here.

I'm the only one left, really.

Afternoon.

Cos when you get older, you have to make friends with younger people.

-That's right.

-People in their 70s.

-Yes.

Make a big score today.

-Oh.

-Oh.

-32 that time, May.

-Oh, right.

We used to think 70, 80 was old, but our view of old age is changing.

The over 100s are the fastest growing part of our population

and the number of people reaching a century is predicted to rise

exponentially, doubling every ten years.

So if we look at 2017,

we have 14,500 people over the age of 100 in the UK.

Go on down to 2050, we have 190,000.

So essential projection is absolutely for continued

increases in life expectancy to take place.

-Thank you.

-Hello.

-How are you?

VOICEOVER: I'm in Harrow, North London, to see my next centenarian.

She prides herself on keeping active.

Diana Eva Gould.

I'm going to be 105.

Diana came to Britain from Poland as a baby in 1912

and worked as an haute couture seamstress

in the West End of London.

She lives in a retirement flat that she owns

and is proud of her independence.

I don't feel old. It's only a number.

I've got these things that I do regularly,

like having a shower, getting my breakfast, making the bed.

I try to go across to Sainsbury's because even if I don't do any

shopping, I can walk up and down the aisle, so I'm doing some exercise.

-One of the ways that you stay fit is to practise your diabolo.

-Yes.

-And you do it everyday.

-Yes.

-And you do 150...

-Catch-ups.

Now, a lot of people don't know what it is and I certainly haven't seen

it in action for a long time.

And I've never seen anyone who's 105 do it!

-No, you probably won't.

-So can you show me, please?

-Yes.

This is well nigh impossible.

Be sure it's facing you. Go on!

It's very good. It's a very good toy.

It's a good weight.

Just look at that.

105-year-old muscles!

-That's hard.

-That's really good.

It is hard, it is hard.

Of course, an active body isn't all that counts.

We need to keep our minds active, too.

Olivier Bell has always enjoyed a rich cultural life.

She's related by marriage to the Bloomsbury Group of artists

and writers.

She's very comfortably off.

She lives in a lovely old house in the Sussex Downs with

a permanent live-in carer.

In the past few years, she's had a series of mini strokes.

Oh, you're up. I've come to see you. How are you?

So you're up and dressed.

And... She's going to do your hair.

You keep a routine, don't you?

Do you? I think it helps, don't you?

This is a difficult bit.

Twirl it so that stays in.

In her 70s and 80s, Olivier edited the diaries of writer

Virginia Woolf.

Would you like some squash?

She's also helped run the local literary festival at Charleston

since it began in 1988.

You were a trustee till about three or four years ago.

You're now Life President.

No, I don't know what that means

but in terms of work, you're literally thinking in terms

of weeks not years.

Because there's endless people write to you

and want you to read things and say things,

so it's not a full-time job but you don't stop doing stuff.

What I've learned from spending the day with Olivier is that

she's a very intelligent woman,

and she used to be very talkative and assertive and busy

and now she can't be. She's lost her fluency.

She hasn't lost her brain.

It's so difficult for her to communicate

and she wishes it wasn't. It's her great regret.

It's regret we might all have in our day.

I know from my own experience that keeping active,

keeping working, gives a purpose to life.

That's what matters to many old people.

I pray you, in your letters,

When you shall these unlucky deeds relate,

Speak of me as I am.

My name is Earl Cameron.

I'm 100 years old and a few days.

My birthday was this year, August 8th.

And...I'm now in my second hundredth year, if you like.

Earl lives in a council flat in the West Midlands.

He moved to the UK from Bermuda in the late '30s to find work.

He certainly succeeded.

He's been an actor in films and television for 70 years.

My last part I played was about three years ago, a very small part

in a film called Inception.

I haven't had any parts since then.

Sooner or later, my agent will call me up and say they want me

for something.

-You're not entitled to vote.

-No.

Still, you won't catch me feeling sorry for you.

He's appeared in films like The Queen with Helen Mirren.

But it is your government.

Yes.

I suppose that is some consolation.

I've had a good innings. I've been in about 30-odd films.

A lot of them were good supporting roles, some very small parts.

I'm ready to play any worthwhile part that came my way.

Yes. Within reason, of course.

I couldn't play a 25-year-old.

They may be young in mind and active in body,

but these 100-year-olds might not have been with us

if it weren't for the advances of modern medicine.

It's estimated the NHS in England spends around £9 billion

a year caring for people over 85.

That's 8.5% of the budget on just over 2% of the population.

That was the most wonderful thing to start, the National Health Service.

But I'm afraid it's going a little bit to pot now.

People I think are taking advantage.

I think the National Health shouldn't be political.

We gotta find some way of affording it, haven't we?

We take it for granted now. Peace of mind is worth a lot.

With the population ageing, many older people remain well,

but eventually what will happen is you will have multiple

long-term medical conditions that you live with

and you will get some age-related frailty where you don't have

much in reserve.

Each year, more than three quarters of a million people

over 85 in the UK have a fall.

30,000 of them break their hips and need hospital surgery.

We're here at North Tees hospital, which is our trauma hospital

and spinal unit.

We've seen over the years increasing number of patients -

older patients - coming in with fractured hips.

But for the very old, an operation on a fractured hip

comes with a lot of risk.

Tony Nargol and his team are getting ready to operate

on a 95-year-old patient.

She has dementia and has had a nasty fall that's broken her hip.

She's in acute pain.

After serious consultation between doctors and her children,

they've decided to go ahead with the operation.

Her family have said they're happy for us

to film it without identifying her.

They've given her a spinal anaesthetic rather than

a general one.

To me, age doesn't come into it.

If you're 110, we will still operate.

The main thing is what are we trying to achieve?

What we know is not good for a patient is to sit in a bed

with a fractured hip for a month and get pressure sores

and very likely pass away in hospital.

That's not a good way to deal with things.

-Are you OK under there?

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

Because of their frailty,

older people often have to be operated on within 36 hours,

which can lead to them taking priority over younger patients.

If you're in your 90s and you have a fractured hip, you're often

on the ward and in hospital for much longer than someone who's 70.

And the demands on the service are massive.

The hip fracture operation costs around £7,000.

Last year, Tony and his team operated on 60 patients

aged over 90 years old.

As we get older and as we get closer to death,

we get admitted to hospital more frequently.

So it's the group we would call the frequent flyer.

And we know that once you start coming to hospital

on a monthly basis that you are approaching the end of your life.

Two weeks after the operation, the patient died

because of pre-existing heart problems.

Giving elderly patients a chance of recovery and dignity in the final

stages of their lives inevitably costs money

and puts a strain on the NHS.

But I find it comforting to know we aren't written off as we get

older, in spite of the costs.

As with falls, things that seem relatively small can have

major consequences for someone who is 100.

Until last year, George made regular trips to a GP

surgery near his bungalow in Northamptonshire.

It closed when the doctor retired

and a replacement couldn't be found.

It was available, it was here, it was somewhere you felt safe.

Now it's gone. It's empty. It's a shell.

I think they just did the wrong thing,

deserting people like me.

As well as cataracts, George has diabetes and heart problems.

His neighbours have offered to drive him to his new surgery three

miles away in Banbury, but he's been refusing to go.

His son Michael has invited them around to discuss the situation.

George needed to have his ears syringed, didn't you?

And we rang the surgery. They said he'd need to come in.

-I can't do it any more.

-Yes.

Yes.

So was it getting from the car to the surgery

that was particularly difficult?

It's hard to quite understand why you're so anti going there.

Do you not have to go for check-ups sometimes?

It just isn't fair.

I don't even know my doctor now.

No matter who assesses me...

..I'm never, ever going to go up there again.

Staff from the surgery in Banbury are now regularly visiting

George at home.

What I do everyday is I pray to God

to let me die in my sleep.

Every day I do that.

Just make it easy.

If you're lucky you'll have family nearby to help.

But most old people don't want to be a burden to their children.

My whole life I don't want to worry the kids.

My son is 80. They've got their lives, they must get on with it.

My son is 77. He's not well himself.

I don't feel at the moment that I'm a burden to her,

but I want her to be able to live her life.

What we on? 75. Get a good score this time.

Yeah.

May had a fall earlier this year. It shook her confidence.

She needed more support from her daughter Sue.

I've got a wonderful daughter.

Sue looks after me money, pays me rent and everything.

That's in her hands.

And I thank God for her.

-Yes!

-I done it!

-Well done.

At the moment, she's doing all me shopping, me housework...

And if I hadn't got Sue, I might think to myself,

"What am I going to do?"

She's always grateful for what you do

and she never wants to be a nuisance.

She's always saying to me, "I don't want to be a nuisance."

And I tell her she'll never be a nuisance.

So as long as I can look after her, I will.

-Right?

-Yeah.

It's not easy for Sue. She's 67 and a grandmother herself.

One of her 20 grandchildren has just had an accident.

She's juggling his care with her mother's.

She's got to look after him, me as well.

I'm doing what I can for the people I love.

But we're going to see what we can do

to ease it for Sue.

I want to be able to manage it all and I find that is difficult,

that I can't do all I want to do.

And I feel sometimes that I'm cut up in lots of little pieces

because I'm trying to keep everybody happy and of course you can't.

That I find overwhelming, I think.

I'm going to put the hairdryer on now, Mum. OK?

It's hard cos it's not just pleasing other people, too,

it's pleasing me but I have to come...

I'm the last on the list, as far as I'm concerned.

There's another job jobbed.

Cos it's my mother, you don't feel that you're a carer.

It's just my mum.

There are more than 1.2 million unpaid carers in the UK...

like Sue, aged over 65.

Thank you.

It can cause them huge stress. Usually additional help is needed.

Olivier's carer lives with her

and leads a team who provide 24-hour care.

I'm a full-time carer and I've got my own flat here.

She needs it. It's mainly because of the falls.

And her mobility is much poorer since her falls.

So I do the main care work.

Just to the chair just round the corner there,

it's all ready for you. Just round the corner here.

Because we have so many carers, I like to have everything

written down, especially with different things to do with

Olivier's personal care.

Eyesight is holding her back.

She used to read, she used to go through books galore,

and I suppose it's been the last year she's not reading as much

cos her eyesight's failing.

Even with full-time care for Olivier,

her family is constantly involved.

You going to come all the way through to the kitchen?

-Yes.

-Hello!

My brother and sister and I are on a sort of loop tape of dealing with

the care issues. And even with the wonderful, wonderful Caroline,

she can't work alone, so we bring in other people

and it doesn't always work out as we would wish.

You never quite know what's going to be around the corner and just

when you think everything's swimming along,

another problem arises, either with the carers or with my mother

herself, because obviously she's very, very, very old.

I've got you on your cushion, which may feel a bit wibbly on that chair.

Is that all right?

And she has, you know, problems of her own. She has health problems.

If you're 100, your children will be getting on years too.

Margaret Gilbert is 102.

I could do with some new ears,

new eyes and new legs, please.

-Margaret.

-Yes?

-Hello, I'm Joan.

-Yes.

-How nice to meet you.

-And you.

She's a mother of one.

He's had his ups and downs.

Now she's a carer, too.

-What's your name?

-I'm Richard.

-Richard, hello.

VOICEOVER: That's because her son Richard is 75 and ill himself.

We're talking to your mother. Do you want to come and listen?

-Sure.

-OK.

Richard was a factory worker

and has always lived with Margaret in their council bungalow.

He used to help look after her

but five years ago, Richard was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

Then the roles were reversed.

He needs sort of waiting on, which is difficult for me to do now.

He's got so he can't look after himself.

The doctors are trying to get him somewhere

so that I can have a respite.

It's terribly hard work. He fell out of bed the other night.

We had a terrible job to get him up,

-getting him back to bed.

-You had to pick him up?

No, I rung my neighbour, a kind neighbour,

and she came at one o'clock in the morning

and helped me move him.

Margaret is one of 92,000 carers who are over 85.

INDISTINCT CHATTER

Richard and Margaret both have professional care teams.

Richard's are from the NHS

and the local authority pays for most of Margaret's.

Barbara comes in three times a week.

It's so exceptional to meet Margaret

and to see that she is looking after Richard.

That amazes me because...because she's a mother

and the mother instinct comes into "must look after her son"

and now he's just got worse,

she just worries herself sick over him now.

And I can understand it because she can't do anything for him,

he can't do anything for her, so they're both in limbo.

Life's pretty hard for Margaret at the moment.

But her concern for her son is giving her a strong

sense of purpose in life.

As we get older, it's good to have a project, a reason to keep on going.

-It feels like rain. I hope it doesn't.

-I hope not.

For many people,

having a partner to share their life can really make a difference.

Earl Cameron is the only centenarian we met to enjoy that companionship.

He and his wife Barbara got married late on in life.

We do walk every day, down into town,

because then we have our mile walk every day.

Especially when it's nice weather, it's lovely.

-I met her some 23 years ago.

-23 years ago, that's right.

I'm now in my 80s.

It wasn't exactly love at first time but...it turned out to be

after meeting...

About two or three times we met.

And I began to think, "Yes, I could do with this young lady."

He's kept me young and I've kept him young.

Earl walks up and down stairs every time we go out and come back.

I'm the one that has to have the chair to take me downstairs

and bring me back up.

We get on very well, I think we're a good match, really.

I would hate to be on this Earth without a wife.

Really.

But having her as my partner... I've found that it gives me

a great deal of comfort and assurance.

George's wife Gladys died nine years ago

after 68 years of marriage.

It's very hard to think

you never ever die together,

and one person's going to be left.

Surrounded by photographs

and things that remind you of all the years gone by.

This one brings back memories.

Diamond wedding.

See, she was much taller than I was.

That's a lovely one, too.

She's so relaxed there.

We had a little council house, two up and two down, you know.

It was opposite a school, which was lively and lovely.

But everything comes to an end.

My story is written in one book

which I wrote a month after my wife died -

I had that bound in leather and gold.

I'm very proud of it.

400 pages, all handwritten,

and 95 illustrations in the book.

When we first met, you know, I couldn't believe me luck!

George spends most evenings alone.

His children do their best, but they have busy lives.

TV PLAYS IN BACKGROUND

TV PLAYING

That's what I do every night.

Say goodnight to my wife, always.

Our visit this evening has been a welcome change.

I'm exhausted now.

But I've had a wonderful day with you.

Wonderful.

I won't ever forget it.

Being on your own, it's...

difficult to explain, but...

I think these are the worst years of your life,

when you're left on your own... to cope.

George's cleaner is a huge support.

-Hello, Eva.

-Hello. How are you?

-I've not put me shirt on yet!

-I'm waiting for you today.

-He's very excited about you.

Eva comes to clean three times a week

and also helps George with his personal care -

washing, and sometimes cooking for him.

-It's still sore, my back.

-Yeah, I know.

I'll cream you later, after wash, yeah?

She brings tears to my eyes.

I've got my hearing aid on in the bathroom.

It's lovely to have something done for you, you know.

I love coming here.

He is very nice man,

and I am happy for help.

I'm not the sort of person to live on my own,

to live a life on my own.

Yet I've been forced to do it.

My wife always said, "You could never live alone,"

and she was right. I can't.

Much as I try, you know, it's impossible.

I just said, if I'd been younger, I would have married you.

Oh, yeah!

You say like that! Ten years younger and you would be married to me.

Ten years younger you will be still 90!

The hard truth is that as we grow older,

we often experience loss.

In Olivier's case, it's the ability to communicate easily.

But your brain is working. This is good.

So how do you deal with it in your mind?

I, too, know what it's like to have lost something.

The birdsong here is wonderful.

Wonderful. And I can hear most of it.

But there was a sad moment about three years ago, I suppose,

when I was walking on the downs with my son

and he turned to me and said, "Isn't the songs of the skylark wonderful?"

And I said, "I can't hear it."

And it was a really sad moment.

Now, of course, what happened was because my hearing was failing,

I went and got hearing aids,

so I can now hear a skylark with the help of two hearing aids.

But it isn't quite the same as hearing the skylark in the raw.

Isolation can be very damaging to our wellbeing,

but most people would rather not go into an old people's home.

Is there another solution?

I'm on my way to Whiteley Village, which is in leafy Surrey.

I've only heard about it, but it's got a fine reputation.

100 years ago, an enlightened philanthropist, William Whiteley,

made provision for the elderly poor.

My. Big gates.

It's a park!

It looks wonderful. It's like visiting a stately home.

Of Whiteley's 500 current residents,

eight are over 100.

It's rather like... It's a garden village. It's...

It's really impressive.

What I want you to do is just roll your shoulders

and just feel where your body's at.

Whiteley's offers a wide range of clubs and activities

from exercise classes to woodwork

and learning French.

Le chat. The cow!

-La vache.

-La vache.

C'est bien, Dorothy. La vache.

This French class includes three 100-year-olds.

Oui, le renard!

How do I get in? How do you qualify? What's the answer?

The answer is, you have to be of limited means.

-So what are limited means?

-Limited means - really all your income

is predicated on a state pension

and that's virtually all you have to live on.

And certainly no capital reserves.

-Do you live on your state pension, then?

-You do, absolutely.

But your housing costs are paid through housing benefit.

Virtually everybody who lives here is eligible for that

because they are of such limited means.

Centenarian Freda came here 30 years ago with her late husband.

-How's that?

-Smashing.

That's OK? You look great.

So how old are you, Freda?

Next month I will be 104.

-104.

-Yes.

-What does that feel like?

Like 104!

Well, you're still full of laughter and enjoyment, aren't you?

Well, if you've got your brain...

What brain I had, I've got,

and I have a great sense of humour.

Are you going to have a party for your birthday?

Yes.

But of course, there's a long waiting list to get in here.

It would be an almost impossible cost for the state to offer

this sort of provision to all our very elderly.

So let's talk money.

Most of the centenarians I've met making this programme

said that their pensions and state allowances

allowed them to live comfortably,

partly because their needs are modest.

Diana Gould is one of them.

Once a week, I get a taxi and go to the hairdresser.

THEY EXCHANGE GREETINGS

About once a month, I get my nails done.

Those are my two extravagances.

Now, I really don't know anything about the money matters.

My son, he deals with all the paperwork.

And obviously I'm not starving!

Mum is very fortunate

because she's supported, effectively, by the state.

She has a state pension with appropriate benefits.

That is sufficient to keep her in this flat

and she manages on her state support, which is wonderful.

But the ageing population

means the state's costs are swelling every year.

In 2015, the government paid out nearly £90 billion

in state pensions alone.

George Emmerson is paying for Eva's help out of his own pensions.

He's happy to, because he can afford it.

So you're putting out a little bit of money all the time.

I pay over £100 a week.

-£100 a week!

-Yeah.

Financially, I have no worries whatsoever.

George worked for the tax office for 30 years

and paid into a civil service pension

as well as his state one.

But he's lived more than 40 years in retirement

and will have received far more from his pensions

than he ever paid into the schemes.

And this is the big problem facing us. Affordability.

When many younger people are struggling with their finances,

can we carry on like this?

We've had the state pension in some form for the best part of 100 years.

Of course, at the time,

people weren't living that long beyond the state pension age,

so the costs were containable.

The answer is, more of us who are able

need to work longer.

The government recently announced that within 20 years

the state pension age will go up from 65 to 68.

Some experts believe that isn't enough.

Because politicians have not pushed forward

increases in state pension age,

which are clearly unpopular with people,

they've not pushed them forward

at the rate at which they should have been pushed forward.

We're playing catch-up all the time.

It's way behind where it should be.

It's not just the cost of pensions. The cost of care, too,

is taking its toll on the state and on families.

Everyone gets medical care free, paid for by the NHS.

But if we have social needs -

that help with dressing, washing, feeding -

then we have to meet the cost ourselves

out of any assets we have more than £23,000.

And that may include your home.

Rising costs are a problem even for the comfortably off,

like Olivier Bell.

"I'm writing to ask you to cancel my standing order

"to account number blah-di-blah-di-blah."

Can you sign that? I've put "yours sincerely" and put your name there.

Slightly running out of funds for Olivier's hair.

There's some money still in some shares that she has, or an ISA,

but I need to keep on top of it

because the other day, one of the carers rang up and said,

"We've gone to get some money out and there's nothing left."

-In the bank.

-In the bank.

So I immediately bunged £1,000 in,

but we need to keep an eye on it.

It's about £4,500 a month we pay out.

She gets £4,000 a year from the state,

but pays £50,000 herself for her care every year.

It's not cheap at all.

However, I think it's considerably less

than if we were spending money

to have her in a very top-notch care home.

Er, I think we could be spending

almost double what we're spending at the moment.

There is an account that she made for me and my sister and my brother

which is meant to be sort of like an inheritance,

but in fact we'll just take that out

and that'll keep her going a few more years, I think.

Quite rich.

-Getting poorer by the minute.

-Yes.

Very true.

-Hello!

-Hello, Mr Emmerson. Can we come in?

-Yes.

George is happy with the help he gets three days a week

from his cleaner Eva,

but his son thinks he needs more professional care.

It is stressful.

The way he lives at the moment, by himself,

relying on casual care - maybe that's coming to an end.

Adult social services are here to see if and how they can help.

-Usually to get down there I hold on to this chair.

-Right.

We can look at speaking to

an occupational therapist,

and asking them to come out and have a look

-at what could be of help for you.

-Yeah.

There are so many people getting to be old these days.

They all need help.

-That is true, George, and...

-It's going to happen to everybody.

-Everybody in this room.

-Yeah.

Nevertheless, we are looking at what would make a difference,

a positive difference to you as well.

You did mention that you feel lonely.

I get... Eva speaks very good English and, er...

..I'm able to talk to her practically every day,

except Saturdays and Sundays, are the two loneliest days.

Have you been in contact with the GP surgery

at least for advice with regards to your condition?

Surgery's now... They've done the dirty on us,

moved the surgery to Banbury.

-I can't get there any more.

-Right.

I can't go out on me bike now because I'm afraid of the kerb.

-Yes.

-I'm scared.

I'm frightened of falling and breaking summat

and then when the hospital decides

you can't look after yourself any more...

George, nobody's going to make you do what you don't like to do

or what you don't want to do.

Nobody.

I don't want to leave her.

That's why I'm hoping Eva will be able to help.

But Eva's... Eva's a cleaner.

She's not a carer.

-Although she's a carer and...

-She's not a carer.

-Sorry.

-She's a cleaner.

-A cleaner, sorry.

Although she's a cleaner

and probably you built up a good relation with her,

-er...

-At the moment, I want to do it on my own, with Eva.

I don't want to do it with anybody else.

And she's quite willing. I will pay her more.

-Right.

-I don't need any help from the council

with carers or anything like that.

-As long as you are happy with that.

-Yeah.

I'm quite willing to pay any of my savings extra to her.

See you.

My instinct would be to make sure Eva understood her position.

She's a lovely lady, who does her very best around the place,

but she's not a professional carer.

A professional carer working for a caring organisation.

If George needs help, he will get it.

Nevertheless, the financial pressure will be always there.

In the last period of time, we've noticed an increase in the people

relying and needing support.

I can't predict how things will evolve,

but obviously what I can tell you is that the pressures are tremendous

on the limited resources that we have.

For the moment, Eva will continue giving George the help he wants.

The local authority has suggested further help,

but it would be means-tested.

But with advancing years, not all of us can stay in our own homes.

If you're over 90, there's an increasing chance

of developing dementia and needing formal care

in a specialist home.

But the number of homes is going down

and the need for them is going up.

Spring Mount is a small, family-run, 25-bed home

based in Heaton in Bradford.

We specialise in looking after people with dementia.

Our oldest resident is 90.

Jack was a lift engineer by profession.

He developed severe dementia in his eighties.

Now that he's 90, the disease has taken his power of speech.

HE VOCALISES

His brother Brian also has dementia

and has recently joined him at the home.

-Jack, stand up.

-Very good, very good.

It costs at least £700 a week

to provide social care for dementia patients in a home.

Those with enough money must pay for themselves.

For those who can't, like Jack and his brother,

the local authority has to pay.

But their budgets have been squeezed

and many specialist care homes are closing down.

More beds are needed.

So if that continues and there's a growing ageing population,

it's... It is worrying.

I think smaller homes will continue to close. Definitely.

Who's that?

HE VOCALISES

Margaret is facing up to life alone.

Her son Richard, who lives with her, has been taken to a hospice

to help manage the pain from his cancer.

Ambulanceman just came in and picked his bags up and took him out.

And when he got to the hospice, he rung me to say he was there.

And it looked a very nice place,

and he was quite happy and I was not to worry about him.

So now I just wait till I hear something else

about how he's got on.

Hello, Margaret, it's only me.

MARGARET LAUGHS

-You all right, darling?

-Yes.

-How is Richard today?

-All right.

-Is he?

I know you was worried about him.

-He had diarrhoea, that was the only trouble.

-Oh, did he?

-Yes.

Obviously he's gone into the hospice now, he's in good hands.

-Yes.

-You haven't got to worry about anything that Richard does.

-I know you worry.

-They'll sort him out, won't they?

So you can stop worrying.

-I won't worry, but I will miss him.

-Of course you do! He's your son.

You're bound to miss him.

I shall miss him tonight when I go to bed.

-But you can't carry on with him here as he was.

-No, I can't, no.

-Because he was very, very much in pain.

-Yes.

But a parent never stops worrying, no matter their age.

When Barbara's been here, she's just said,

"Don't worry yourself, look after yourself."

Well, you can't do that, can you?

So it gives you a feeling of guilt.

You shouldn't be looking after yourself

when somebody else is so ill and they need your attention.

But what can you do?

What's to be will be.

And you've just got to get over it the best way you can.

But shall I tell you something?

I would rather I put him to rest while I'm here

than I should leave him behind alone.

That doesn't sound natural for a mother to say that, does it?

But that's how I feel.

If I appear to grieve a lot after he's gone...

..it'll just be for the loss of him.

And I don't think it's going to be very long.

I don't want to see him here suffering pain

any longer than he has to.

We'll both go.

Him and then me.

But I'm not going yet.

I've got a lot more to do first.

It never occurred to me at any time that I'd get this far.

60 or 70, I thought that would be it. But I'm still here.

The oldest man was 117.

So I've only got 16 years to go, haven't I?

If I'm here, I'll be here. But if not, I'll be gone.

No, nobody can stop it.

The older you get, the more you know

that you're in the final stretch of life.

May Bareham and her daughter Sue

regularly visit the family's burial plot.

I'm with them a lot in my mind, yes.

-Especially my husband and, of course, my little boy.

-Let me see...

-Your son died when he was 14?

-Yes.

That was a very sad time of my life.

Do you feel religiously about your dying?

Well...

I... I don't say I'm looking forward to it,

but I thank God for the life I've had,

and I hope he'll just let me go to sleep peacefully.

And, er...I'll be pleased. I'd be pleased to go.

-Now, she's 104?

-Yes.

You're in the middle, you've got children, grandchildren,

so you're facing in both directions.

Does it pose problems?

Only in the fact that we can't spend the time

that my husband and I would like away.

I'm 67, my husband is 76.

Really, it's a time when we really need to spend time together

and we can't just take off.

That begs the question, you have to think in your mind

quite consciously, "When will she die?"

I mean, Mum, I suppose, in a way, is waiting.

Every day when she wakes up, she'll say to herself, you know,

"Oh, I'm still here."

And when I ring her in the morning,

if it takes a long time before I get an answer,

I then start to think, "Ah. Is today the day?"

For Margaret, the day has come to say goodbye to her son Richard,

who died at the hospice.

-Margaret.

-Hello.

-How are you coping?

-Are you coming in?

-It's sad to be here.

She now faces life on her own for the first time, at 102.

-It seems strange to survive your own child.

-Yes, it does, it does.

But I believe I've been given these extra years for that purpose.

-Here, it's your brother now.

-Oh, is it?

-Yeah.

-Hello, John.

-My dear...

-How are you?

-All right?

-Not so bad.

My family are all long-livers.

Don't get up, dear.

My father's brother lived to be over 100.

Hello, Margaret.

We were both old together, weren't we?

I used to worry about him being left behind.

I do miss him very much.

My memories of him going to school

and starting work...

A very good child, he was.

You can't choose your life, can you?

You just have to accept it as it comes.

-It was lovely, wasn't it? It went very, very well.

-Yes.

I should be able to make the most of what's left.

I'm sure I shall.

Me having lived so long,

I can't understand why.

Yes. Strange feeling, really.

I've learnt a lot from the centenarians I've met.

I've learnt that they value their independence,

they want comfort and security.

They're made unhappy by loneliness

and are not distressed by the idea of death.

There'll be many more centenarians in future.

And more birthday cards from the Queen.

At 105, Diana gets another one.

I think your outlook, your attitude towards life...

You have one life - live it.

Oh, hello! You don't look any different! You look the same!

I don't feel 105.

Cheeky!

You learn something every day.

Look at that!

If I come across a new word,

gosh, it's made me for that day.

And your diablo, see your diablo?

Time goes very quickly.

-You look so marvellous!

-David!

I don't think any of us is prepared for this ever-extending lifespan.

How we adapt to this new reality is a test.

You're not allowed to leave until the table's cleared.

It's a test for the state and for families.

Are we prepared for the responsibility of

looking after our parents as well as our children?

And for ourselves, are we ready for the possibility of living past 100?

Thank you all for coming.

Come next year - perhaps they'll make me another party. Who knows?

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE