Jonah Lomu - New Zealand rugby player extratime

team. In this interview he talks candidly about his kidney condition,

a troubled youth involving domestic violence and the 1995 Rugby World

Cup which made his name. My guest today is Rugby union's first global

superstar, 6.5 in feet tall, able to run 100 metres in little more than

ten seconds. The game had never seen such an awesome combination of speed

and power. Recently, a life-threatening kidney disorder

forced onto dialysis. A man once feared for terrorising the best

defences in rugby is now waiting for a transplant. On top of that, he has

released an autobiography which describes a troubled youth involving

gangs and domestic violence. Jonah Lomu, welcome to extra time. The

question has to be how are you? You are looking well. I am not too bad.

Wish I was playing. This kidney disorder, it is described as

nephrotic syndrome, you must have done so much research, what is it?

It is a disorder of the kidney, it leaks protein. It does not retain

protein and your body does not get it. That is where it starts. Then it

will suddenly cause your kidneys to fail. The waste products in your

body do not get removed. The effect in terms of your routine are what,

exactly? My daily routine now is that I do everything is normal, I

can still train, it is just that I cannot run at full speed and so

forth. I use dialysis at night, while I am asleep. It doesn't

interfere during the day. You look fine at the moment. But, there were

times over the last number of years, ten years, there have been times

when you have been extremely distressed with this, haven't you?

You? Your weight ballooned, you were practically immobile. I had to

control a lot of things that could not be controlled, like the weight,

retaining fluid and so forth. A lot of people would talk about me being

lazy, it was because I just couldn't do it, medically. How did you feel

about those criticisms? I didn't worry about it, I knew what was

wrong but I did not want to excuse it. Dialysis must be painfully

debilitating for anyone, to be tied to a machine, but for you, a

world-class athlete, it must be worse? In a lot of ways, it is. It

is a medical breakthrough though for kidney patients. If we did not have

dialysis, life could be shorter and your life is being prolonged. I am

quite thankful in that way. What were the deepest, darkest moments

when you were really suffering? For me, in general, it would be at the

World Cup in 2003 and watching it from the sideline. From half way up

my cards, to the rest of my body, it is the best it can be, it is just

that my feet would not do what I needed. On top of the physical

effects, there are clearly debilitating mental effects. To me

and to a lot of people, the best way to describe it is you think of the

hardest thing you can do and the things that you do every day,

without any knowledge and you neglect, just getting up in the

morning and walking to the fridge to get a drink, I couldn't do that. It

wasn't just physical, it was mental as well. It played with you. I was a

guy who could run down the field and run into players and who could run

down the field and run into players and trying to walk to the fridge and

you fall over, that sort of thing, to me that was one of the hardest

things. That conjures a desperate picture of you following in your own

kitchen. Therefore, there must have been a mental depression, a mood

swing element that kicked in here. It was frustrating at first, but I

was fortunate that my wife was with me at the time. She has taken me

through it. It is quite tough trying to face it and it would be harder, I

do not think I could have gotten through it if I did not have her. I

have got six stairs and I could not get them on my own. I could not help

with groceries, carrying them up the stairs, that is how bad it got. We

got second opinions on things about nerve connections in my legs. We a

few different things, different treatments and I can walk on my own

now and do all the things as as possible. The closest I have got to

running is a slight jog. You look well enough now, you are undergoing

dialysis still, what are the chances of eventually a successful match, in

terms of a transplant? Hopefully, when I get home, I will find out in

the next few months whether I have a perfect match in terms of a donor. I

was fortunate that I have a great friend who is going through the

process and is at the last stage. He faced the possibility that a donor

may not be found and the consequences would be what? The

consequences would be that you stay on dialysis for a long time. In that

sense it is not utterly a life-threatening disease? It is.

There are complications you can run into with dialysis. Dialysis clears

your blood, but it does not do it as well as the kidney. It gives you

about 10%. If you don't get a transplant, your life becomes more

concentrated and you become prone to infection. Yes. As I say, you look

well. What people do not understand is that you have had the condition

for some time. When you burst on the scene in 1995, the big semifinal in

Cape Town against them and when you scored four tries, you had been

diagnosed with the work you knew something was wrong. I knew then

what I had. It is something I kept to myself. Let's talk about that.

You burst on the scene, certainly in the UK, it is what you are

remembered for most. That feeling, in the semifinal against England

when it appeared you were utterly unstoppable, there were England

defender is being left in your wake, that must be a fabulous feeling in

sport, to be effective the invincible. I do not know about

invincible. You were in that much. You were unstoppable. If anything,

it was more of a sense of relief for a lot of us as players. The last

time New Zealand played England was in 1993 and we lost. I was at school

and I sat up to watch it and seeing it on the faces of the guys and I

asked them about it and they talked about it, we lost in 1993, we need

to correct it. The guys, the feeling I had, was that I was glad the game

was done. There was so much pressure and time had been put into it. You

were nervous beforehand. So nervous I did not sleep. At all, right

through to the game. You are a man already ill, you do not sleep and

you have enough energy to trouble the English defence. I stayed awake

the whole night, sat up in the morning and looked out the window

and watched the England and New Zealand supporters walking and I

guess that is when the location hit me and that is where I got my second

wind and energy from. The location hit Will Carling, the captain at the

time, and he said you were a freak. That is not a kind thing to say, but

we know what he meant. I have tremendous respect for him as a

player. I do not hold grudges when it comes to things like that. It was

meant as a condiment. I think it was. It was just one of those games

where everything went my way and everything just completely went our

way. Brian Moore said the only way we might start you is with an

elephant gun. Slightly insulting, but it is just a measure of the

power you had at your disposal. I am just very fortunate to be blessed

with a lot of strength and speed. Let's skip on. There have been

highlights and low lights in the intervening time since then. You

think about 2002 when you were quite poorly and there were people inside

the New Zealand camp, the former coach John Mitchell, who were

getting impatient with you. He said, frankly I am sick of waiting for

Jonah to shoot some form. He must have been aware of how ill you work?

I didn't tell him anything about it. Nothing not? They knew I was sick

but they did not know the extent. I did not want it to be a reason. I am

a person... It would have explained everything. It would have, but I did

not want sympathy. Perhaps realism would have been in order? Maybe, but

it is how I deal with things. I keep it to myself. Let me take you back

to 1975. You went to live with relatives. Why was that? I guess the

family wanted me to know where my roots were. I was taking back their

and I was very fortunate to be brought up amongst family. You were

happy in Tonga but you did not want to go back to Auckland. At the time

I was brought up by my mum APPLAUSE Older sister, she did not have any

kids. Giving me to her to bring up, I knew

her as my mum, I did not know her as my auntie. At the time they decided

to operate me and send me back to New Zealand, it was a shell-shocked.

You had two brothers in a way, but you did not really have a father. He

had a poor relationship with him. The toughest part about that was

that me and him had never seen eye. Just run up. I did not want to be

any place, so I did everything to any place, so I did everything to

rebel. I kept getting trouble. You are talking about your teenage

years? Just as a young person. If you're in a place you are not happy

with, you do the opposite of what you are expected of. Me trying to

say I wanted to go back to Tonga, it would stem into my father trying to

discipline me and on. At a young age. It just stemmed from there and

it grew from there. You really mean he beat you. Yes. Regularly? Yes. He

used a wooden stick. Eventually, you had him back. Eventually, I did.

That was brewing from a young age. My father was a very heavy drinker

and he was quite violent in a lot of ways towards me, the kids and also

to my mother. Look at you now, when you were a young teenager, aged 13,

you were well over six foot, you were 15 stone or so. He was still a

kinky at that point? Yes, still. He is not that big. Eventually it was

no contest. When you hit him back, he stayed hit? I basically picked

him up and threw him across the room and whatnot. What was the atmosphere

just prior to that so, what precipitated that? I guess my father

had come home drunk that night and started ranting and raving at

everyone to do things that he wanted and so forth and everyone tried to

do it and if it wasn't done enough, you got a slap. By then, my mother

had asked a question and he hit and I turned round and picked him up and

threw him across the room. You were defending your mother? I was

defending everyone. I would rather get beaten than my family. When I

had done that he stood up and said you do not belong under my roof and

you are no longer my son. I want you to leave, so I left. You must have

worried because of the closeness of your relationship with your mother,

you must have worried leaving her behind. I did, but I knew she would

never leave. That was something I could never face and know why. She

is a very loyal person and she gave herself utterly to the relationship

and to the kids. If anything, if anyone, changed my life, it was her.

If she had not got me out of where I was in terms of going to school, I

do not think I would be here talking to you. You can't forget what

happened, can you forgive? I can forgive what happened, I just cannot

forget it. It is a part of me. I am just very fortunate that my father

has changed in a lot of ways with the younger ones. They never saw

what happened. Maybe he learned a lesson when you threw him across the

room. Maybe. He is a very changed person and he is very forgiving now,

he has stopped drinking and he has become a better person.

Effectively, you have made your peace with him? No, we have not made

our peace, we still disagree on a lot of things. I have always said to

everyone that I love my father because he is my father, but that is

about where it ends between me and him. The bridge that we have burnt

between each other, I think it is long gone. If we sat in a room and

talk, there is no worry about that. Has he tried to make an approach to

you? No. That is where the make has not happened, we are both proud and

stubborn. The one thing that we both have in common in terms of how we

could bond is that we both love the same person and that is my mother. I

love my mother and he loves his wife. She still loves him, despite

what happened? Despite what happened. To me, that is hard to

understand, but she cannot help the way she feels. You will know there

has been criticism about your decision to go public, but these

should be private matters, what is your reaction? I think that is

nonsense really. They say you are trying to make money out of it,

effectively. When we launched the book in New Zealand, all the

proceeds from the launch of the book, none of that came to me, it

all went to charity. I do not know where they are getting that from.

Also, then sent it should be private, I reckon things like that

should be told because if you are willing to tell it, tell it the way

it is and tell the whole story. I knew it would be controversial in

the Tonga community and so forth, but to me it is irrelevant what they

think, it is what I wanted to write and what I believe is true and I

stand by it. It is no surprise that given all this difficulty at home,

the domestic violence, that you should start running with the gangs

in Auckland. You had a pretty unruly youth. What did you get up to? I got

into fights and so forth. I guess you are trying to find, I guess when

people travel down that road it is trying to feel the need to belong to

something. He felt he had been disowned by half of your family.

When you are my size and guys want you in the group because of your

size it is a different story. With the strong sense of moral outrage

you saw when your father attacked your mother, surely it is

incompatible with the things you were doing. You were in gangs who

were beating up people in the streets, completely unprovoked. It

is odd. It was very odd. That was one thing I couldn't understand. You

did it nevertheless? I never really did it. I watched a lot of people do

it and I never really... The only time I got into fights was when

somebody tried to hurt me and I had to protect myself. You were stabbed?

It was a case of mistaken identity. They had an argument with someone

the night before and they tried to stab me in the leg. In South

Auckland, the Polynesians look pretty similar. This can be a

vicious downward spiral, but it was the intervention of a schoolmaster

which brought you about. I was fortunate to run into a deputy

principal who saw me playing basketball, I was 14 years of age,

and I was slam dunking. He wanted me to play for the school. He pulled me

across and asked what my name was. I said Jonah Lomu search. He said he

would like me to trial for the first 15. Had he ever played rugby? No. It

all stemmed from there. You wouldn't be sitting here talking about a

career in international rugby if that hadn't happened. No. We are

drawn to the future. You continue your treatment, do you think you

have a chance of putting on the all Black jersey again? I do. You are

not just convincing yourself to maintain your morale? No. I do not

need that to boost my morale because it is good. If anything, it is more

that I know I can do it. I just have got to make sure I get everything to

fall into place in the way I wanted and the way I believe it could,

there is no reason why not. I have travelled down every single avenue.

In 1997I sat down in the DoctorAPPLAUSE

Office and I was told I had to do treatment for ten months and I

wouldn't play rugby again. To me, it is mind over matter. When

did you last play rugby? 2003. It is getting on for a year ago. You say

ER keeping fit, but you have to break into the super 12 and then the

international side and it is a young man's game. I don't know about a

young man's game. Set yourself a target. When will you be back in the

team? My long-term goal in terms of having the transplant first and then

my long-term goal is 2007. 2007. Three years from now. You will still

have the energy and treatment and ungritted played the game? To tell

the truth, I would not be thinking about it if I was not that

determined. Jonah Lomu, we wish you all the