Episode 3 Let's Play Darts

If you're going to the bar, mine's a treble.

Let's play darts for Sport Relief! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hello and welcome to the semifinals of Let's Play Darts For Sport Relief.

There is a full hour of constant tension ahead.

Now, eight pro celebrity darting pairs started the tournament,

but just four remain.

With everything left to play for they'll go dart to dart

in what promises to be two humdingers of a semifinal

as they try to secure a place in the grand final.

Later Tim Vine, The Punaway Train,

and Darryl The Dazzler Fitton

will square up to Kate Wild Thing Humble and Glen Duzza Durrant.

But first it's the turn of Greg The Abominable Throwman Davies

and Martin Wolfie Adams to take on Mike The Titan Tindall

and Scotty Dog Mitchell.

Let's find out a little bit more about them.

SONG: How U Like Me Now? By The Heavy

# Now there was a time When you loved me so

# I couldn't do wrong

# And now you need to know

# See, I been a bad, bad bad, bad man

# And I'm in deep Yeah

HE HOWLS

-COMMENTATOR:

-He does! That's it!

CHEERING

# I can't wait

# So how you like me now? How you like me now?

# How you like me now? #

MUSIC

APPLAUSE

They all looked so strong in the quarters.

I'm delighted to say they join me now ahead of this epic encounter.

Can you quite believe, Greg Davies, that you're in this semifinal?

No, of course not and nor can anyone else.

LAUGHTER

I can tell you this, and this is not to try

and kind of in any way dampen your enthusiasm...

-This is going to be about three dart averages.

-Yeah.

Yeah, I knew it was going to be.

You did get here with the lowest of all the celebrities.

It's about the doubles, Gabby.

I just think you're going to have to push it up from 34.2.

Well, Martin and I didn't go to bed last night. We stayed up all night, practising.

I mean, it was... It was a combination of...

It was darts, arm wrestling, some poetry.

Two guys hanging out.

Whatever it takes, whatever it takes.

Mike, you did have some good checkouts

in the quarterfinals, didn't you?

That's one thing that's been OK, is the checkouts were all right.

You got 93, the highest checkout of any of the celebrities, 93, Mike.

I always take that. I'll always take that, anything,

anything around 100, if you can check that out I'm,

I'm over the moon.

I pray there's a 180 in me somewhere,

cos I will be hugging everyone in here.

What was your highest checkout, Greg? Remind me.

I don't know, Gabby, but from the look on your face, I sense that you're taunting me.

-It was 40.

-Fine, what's wrong with 40?

Nothing is wrong with 40.

And, you know, I think that Wolfie and I,

a combination of his talent and my, um...

height - you never know.

Guys, you go get yourselves ready,

get yourselves into the zone, however you choose to do that.

So, the moment has arrived, it's darts o'clock

and time for our first semifinal.

I can hardly hear myself think over the sound of jangling nerves.

So, let's hand over to the master of ceremonies,

Little Richard Ashdown who's ready to introduce the teams.

Let's play darts for Sport Relief.

CHEERING

The Wolf is at the door and it's time to let him in.

Yes, it's the three time Lakeside World Champion

and one of the sport's all time greats.

It's Martin Wolfie Adams!

HOWLING

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hey, how we doing, all right?

MUSIC: Hungry Like The Wolf by Duran Duran

# Smell like I sound I'm lost in a crowd

# And I'm hungry like the wolf

# Straddle the line In discord and rhyme

# I'm on the hunt, I'm after you... #

APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH

He's a giant of comedy, star of The Inbetweeners and Man Down,

let's welcome him in from the cold.

It's Greg The Abominable Throwman Davies!

SONG: Cold As Ice By M.O.P

# You're as cold as ice Willing to sacrifice

# You're as cold as ice Willing to sacrifice

# You're as cold as ice Willing to sacrifice

# You're as cold as ice Willing to sacrifice

# You're as cold as ice Willing to sacrifice. #

He's the England captain, and the 2015 BDO World Champion.

Go barking mad for the big dog of darts, Scotty Dog Mitchell!

SONG: Who Let The Dogs Out by Baha Men

# Who let the dogs out? Who, who, who, who, who?

# Who let the dogs out? Who, who, who, who, who?

# Who let the dogs out?

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# When the party was nice The party was bumpin'

# Hey, yippie yi yo

# And everybody havin' a ball

# Yippie yi yo

# Until the fellas start the name callin'

# Yippie yi yo

# And the girls respond to the call I heard a poor man shout out

# Who let the dogs out? Who, who, who, who, who?

# Who let the dogs out? #

He's the World Cup winning England rugby team hero.

The big man for the big occasion,

scrum and have a go if you think you're hard enough -

it's Mike The Titan Tindall.

SONG: Boom! Shake The Room by DJ Jazzy Jeff And The Fresh Prince

# Boom! Shake, shake, shake the room Boom! Shake, shake, shake the room

# Tick, tick, tick, tick, boom!

# Boom! Shake, shake, shake the room Boom! Shake, shake, shake the room

# Boom! Shake, shake, shake the room Tick, tick, tick, tick, boom!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

As the excitement builds, let's go to our match commentators

Tony Green and Vassos Alexander, who are being kept company by

last year's semifinalist Richard Osman.

Vassos, who are the in-form pair going into this match?

Tough to call that to be honest, Gabby.

Scott and Mike definitely want it more,

but do they want it too much?

You can, you know, and Wolfie and Greg will get on that oche

and have a laugh

and sometimes that is the best way.

-REFEREE:

-First leg, it's Greg to throw first. Game on.

So, who wins a battle between a Wolf and a Scotty Dog?

-GREG, IN FALSETTO:

-# I'm as cold as ice! #

Well, it was the Scotty Dog when they met in a classic

World Championship final on that Lakeside stage,

but what happens when you throw a Titan

and an Abominable Throwman into the mix?

Well, we're about to find out.

60.

Richard, you reckon it's Tindall and Mitchell all the way.

I would have thought so.

I mean, it was interesting Mike Tindall spent his entire life

around banter, this awful word, you know,

rugby players taking the mick out of each other,

then he came up against Katherine Ryan in the quarterfinals and he has

never seen banter like that before

and actually he fell to pieces.

And if Greg can do the same to him today,

then it might be very, very interesting.

100.

Well, personally, my view, Mike Tindall,

-I think he's going to be the one in the pile to do it.

-Hello...

This is better than the quarterfinal, Greg.

81.

I was just practising with Greg before the match

and he was looking a lot better, I have to say.

Slowing down a bit,

throwing a little bit lighter.

Impossible to throw much harder than he was in the quarterfinals.

It was unbelievable.

So much fun, though. He was magic.

That dart board is having counselling.

Yeah, this is a new dart board.

The other dart board sadly has been retired.

It's now living on a farm in Lincolnshire.

140.

Yes! Well played.

Talking to itself in a darkened room.

Saying, "Why? Why, Mummy?

140.

We're all here, don't worry about it.

25.

That is throwing a dart hard, isn't it?

Mike, you require 101.

So, first to a finish.

-CROWD MEMBERS:

-Go on, Mike!

Treble 19 for double 12,

and he knows he's finishing, Mike.

Number 12 would be perfect.

Double 12 for a 101.

LAUGHTER

Oh!

77.

GABBY: So, Mike misses his chance for double 12

but has another opportunity for double six -

can he take the first leg?

Mike, you require 12.

OK, Mike, take it away.

Once again, double six.

No score.

It's double trouble.

MIKE: Get it in the board!

They've had seven darts to win this first leg.

Martin Adams, he loves this situation.

Double 16.

To steal it from nowhere.

-Oh!

-52.

-So, surely now...

-REFEREE:

-Scott, you require 12.

Scott Mitchell, 2015 World Champion,

will put us out of our misery, double six.

Not there.

Double three right at the bottom of the board, they hate this one.

Game shot.

Not right now, he loves it right now!

GABBY: So, onto the second leg and Greg is at the oche on a possible checkout.

Come on, Greg.

Treble 19.

80 left.

Well, treble 20 would leave you double ten.

Oh, wasn't far away, was he?

-WOLFIE:

-Another 20.

38.

-WOLFIE:

-Don't worry, don't worry.

Scott, you require 124.

So, treble 20 to start this.

Treble 14 for double 11, or a single 14 for bull

but he's missed the big 14.

-Oh, Scott.

-It's a basic error.

Schoolboy error, don't miss the big number, right?

84.

Martin, you require 59.

Two darts at double top for Martin Adams to level the semifinal.

That's a terrific marker.

39.

-Pulled it. He pulled it.

-In the background.

Mike, you require 14.

Game!

Mr Tindall, it's there, the double top.

Tick, tick, tick, tick, boom!

GABBY: With a two-nil lead and first to six,

Wolfie and Greg need to get moving.

Here's the third leg. Wolfie's at the oche, trailing by 12 points.

100.

Wolfie, quite quiet during this game.

Actually, he really wants it, he sort of knows that if

he plays better than Scotty, there's a chance.

He has to play markedly better

than Scott Mitchell.

100.

And they're just exchanging steady tons at the moment.

Difficult for the pro players to produce their absolute A game

because you can't get in any sort of rhythm.

That's exactly it, and also the crowd are a very different crowd.

You know, they're allowed to... They're not ALLOWED

to shout during the throws, but they don't seem to mind shouting out.

-GREG:

-Solid!

And you're not miked up during the World Championship.

Yeah, and you, and you don't have Greg Davies looking at you.

-GREG, IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE:

-I think you'll find I'm as cold as ice.

-60.

Great darts, mate, great darts.

Well, they're on a finish already,

Scott and Mike.

Yeah, good recovery, that.

125. Scott, you require 130.

-GREG:

-Just makes me stronger.

Treble 20 for bull's-eye. Oh, yes.

Game shot and the third leg, Mike and Scott.

Exhibition dance.

Robbie Savage loving that.

I cannot begin to tell you how gutted Robbie Savage is

that he got knocked out.

GABBY: Three-nil now to the bully boys Scotty and Mike.

So to the fourth leg, with Wolfie looking to strike back.

-Good marker. Two of 'em.

-Yeah, here we go.

Is it one? Yes it's there.

Yay. Well done, Wolfie.

Might as well do it.

180!

The first of the match and they're on their feet at Lakeside.

-Scotty won't like that, will he?

-No, he won't.

He'll want to follow that straight up.

41.

Beautiful.

Here we go, Greg. Come on, you can get one.

-Just the wrong treble.

-Oh, look at that.

-Just missed the double.

-He's throwing harder again, isn't he?

-Yeah.

-Rushing, as well.

-Yeah.

Still they're on a finish at 140.

Scott and Mike.

-Scott'll be gutted. He wanted to get 180 here, didn't he?

-Yeah.

And the thing is, because he'd just thrown,

he had to wait for three more throws before he could get his go back.

That's exactly it.

And it's so much easier somehow to follow a 180

when you're throwing immediately afterwards.

Exactly right, rather than waiting around.

100.

OK, we're going to have double top for Greg.

-Tell you what...

-Looking forward to that already.

You wouldn't put it past him.

Oh, you wouldn't. He got two doubles in the quarterfinals, didn't he?

And whatever happens...

45.

They're getting the best of order from this crowd, anyway,

and they're enjoying it.

Unless Scott can take out 154,

Martin Wolfie will have a shot for the leg.

But can Greg do it?

Top of the shot.

Oh, just unlucky.

VASSOS LAUGHS

That was unlucky.

But unlucky to... to land in an odd number.

Scott, you require 154.

OK, treble 20.

Can't finish now.

-So, Martin. Greg.

-Come on, Martin.

-Chance here.

Double top.

This comes under the category of must...

It's there.

And he does.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

GABBY: Wolfie and Greg finally on the scoreboard.

Here's the 5th leg with Greg at the oche, trailing by 132 points.

25. Mike, you require 40.

It's still unlikely because Mike will fancy his chances.

Yep.

Now a double ten.

-MIKE:

-Oh, Jesus that was horrible.

-And now you never know.

20.

You never know.

Imagine if Wolfie takes this out.

Well, Martin Adams has taken out

much more than 147 on this stage,

but it must start with a treble 20 and doesn't.

67 left.

97. Scott, you require 20.

Double ten.

Oh, now, double five.

Oh. Interesting.

There's still a chance. In he comes.

He's having such trouble with his doubles, Scotty.

Greg, you require 50.

Come on, Greg for bull.

This is showbiz, Greg.

We've seen a lot of bull from Greg on TV before, just one more now.

The red bit in the middle of the board.

Well he's left himself double 19.

-Deliberately.

-He went for that.

Oh, not far away.

-Come on, Greg.

-You can use the barrel, come on.

12.

Mike, you require 20.

This is a leg they thought would have been done

and dusted five minutes ago.

Well, it is, finally, won now.

Under pressure,

Mike Tindall hits the winning double.

They are two legs away from the final.

GABBY: Mike and Scott consolidating their lead there, and a change

in the commentary box with Jordan Stephens joining Vassos and Tony.

We pick up the action in the 6th leg with Mike at the oche.

They want to win, no question about it. Two professional sportsmen.

JORDAN: He is fantastic, he is.

In the practice room he was very intimidating. Look at that, solid.

100.

That man loves it. That man loves it.

Yeah, Robin's there's with him.

Yes. They're a great partnership.

I must say, I did see someone in the crowd earlier

they were holding up Tim Vine's face

and cheering on Mike Tindall.

So there is some confusion between masks,

I must make people aware of that.

Tops for a 5-1 lead.

45.

And once again, Wolfie

and the Abominable Throwman

not on a finish, but this is very useful.

He won't try and fill it up because he's on 176

and that would bust the shot.

Of course, yes.

You saw me get excited and had to...

Double ten.

-Can he get it?

-Double five.

No score.

That's a bust.

Greg, you require 40.

You feel he's got to hit this,

double top at the top of the board.

He just throws it so hard, Greg.

-Yes.

-Calm down!

Oh that is even harder.

No score.

It's like he's been watching 300 and...

Scott, you require 20.

Just arrows - arrows not darts.

Two tens.

Scott Mitchell.

Yeah, spot on.

To Mike and Scott.

GABBY: So at 5-1 down,

Greg and Wolfie must win this next leg to stay in the game.

Let's join the action with Greg on a possible finish to save the match.

Greg, you require 64.

They are still alive.

Greg is sweating profusely now.

They are clinging to this tournament by their fingernails.

Do it, Greg.

Single 16.

-GREG:

-Same place.

For double 16.

-GREG:

-Oh, no.

Up a bit. Up and over.

23.

-I don't feel like that was close.

-No.

So, double ten from Mike Tindall to finish this off.

Double five.

-Double five.

-He's feeling the pressure.

No score. Martin, you require 41.

OK, Martin, to keep you in the match, double 16.

Yeah, move across, just blocking it again.

-No.

-No way.

Still in the balance.

No, he had to take that shot.

He had to take that chance.

Yeah, they're gone now, surely.

Surely they've gone.

Scott Mitchell, the 2015 World Champion with two 10s.

-SCOTT:

-Trying my hardest.

For a place in the Let's Play Darts For Sport Relief final.

-Oh, my God.

-One dart left.

-Boom!

They've done it.

Game shot, and the match, Mike Tindall, Scott Mitchell!

Scott and Mike march on.

In a moment I'll be talking to the players about how it felt for them.

But remember, we're all here for a reason.

The money you donate to Sport Relief helps people

both around the world and right here at home.

50% of the money raised is spent in the UK.

Here's one way that your donations can make a difference.

Losing a loved one is one of the hardest

things to go through in life.

For children in particular, it's very hard to cope with

feelings of loss and grief.

This is Sue and Sean's story.

I met Paul, I was 33,

met him in the local bar,

he knew how to make me laugh more than anything.

Amazing dad. As soon as Sean could walk,

they'd play football every single day.

As far as dad and son go, couldn't get any closer.

He'd gone to the doctor's because he'd started slurring his words

and we found out that it was a brain tumour.

Seven months later, he was dead.

Sean had to be told, you know, and literally he was hysterical

and then, he went from the anger to very withdrawn,

didn't say...say nothing.

I didn't really talk to my mum about, like, how I felt.

I felt upset and...

..sad.

I missed the most when he used to come and watch me play football.

But there is a project run through Sean's school that supports

children dealing with the loss of a loved one, and it's funded by you.

We got involved with Twin Vision.

They offer a specialist project where children create

an animation of a loved one they've lost.

Prior to the project, Sean went quite withdrawn and quiet

and he didn't really like want to talk about the loss of his dad.

But since doing the project

we've seen a massive difference in Sean's self esteem.

They helped me because they made me feel

more comfortable talking to my mum.

That project just brought him back, I think, definitely.

To make a donation:

Please text tonight and help to change someone's life.

Now I'm joined by Greg and Wolfie, Mike and Scotty,

and our resident pundit Tony O'Shea to talk us

through a fantastic semifinal performance.

Congratulations, Mike and Scotty.

Mike, you must be delighted with your performance there.

It was all right today.

Maybe it's not having a moose knuckle shouting at me

from behind me all the time and...

Not enough trash talking, Greg.

Well, we did say we'd go there.

That's where I went wrong, as opposed to the quality of my darts.

I guess my 31s and 27s weren't enough to carry us through

and I'm sorry to let him down.

Let's have a little look, Scotty, at that second leg

when indeed he had a double top to check out, Mike,

and pulled it off. Are you proud of your team mate here?

Absolutely, cos he told me he hates double top, don't leave it.

So I had to leave it, I had no real choice

and first dart out it went.

The only thing I said to him when we first...

"I hate the right-hand side doubles."

So said, "just leave 16s, 18s..."

And every time it was double ten today.

We were down that right-hand side of the board.

You have to master the whole board if you're going to get to a final, mate.

Well, that's true, true.

What did you make, Tony, of the technique that you were seeing from Mike there?

Well, we saw the technique in his first match in the quarterfinals,

but he was king of the 1s in that game,

today he was definitely king of the 20s.

You were the difference today, mate.

Greg, we saw yet again today how hard you hit the board.

Such a ferocious style of darts.

Will you ever temper that, do you think,

going forwards in your darts career?

I won't be tempering that, Gabby, and do you know why?

It's because I am officially announcing

my retirement from the sport.

I know it's going to break a lot of hearts out there, but that's...

I kind of hoped as a sports broadcaster I might get this kind

of moment where somebody announces their retirement from the sport.

-Yeah, and how cruel that it's from me.

-Well...

LAUGHTER

Is there nothing that I can say that's going to make you

change your mind and stick with darts?

No, there's nothing you can say that will bring me

out of retirement, and the incredible indifference

I can hear from the crowd behind means I've made the right decision.

LAUGHTER

But it's you two who have booked that first berth in the final.

What happens between now and then?

Preparation.

Focus.

Special diet?

-Of course.

-Obviously my diet's sort of changed.

I'm in a different environment now, so I'm embracing the diet

that's out there - lot of crisps, lot of chocolate bars.

No protein shakes to be seen.

There's not a protein shake in sight.

No, I'm embracing that, I'm embracing that.

I'm sure you want to wish them well in the final, Greg and Martin.

-GREG:

-Nope.

-LAUGHTER

Of course we do, Greg, of course we do.

Well, huge congratulations...

Yes, we do, of course we do.

..to Mike and Scotty, who mauled the opposition

and now power on to the final.

Who'd have thought a Scotty dog would beat a wolf?

And to our valiant losers,

Greg and Wolfie, you'll always be our hero, Wolfie, though.

Top man.

Thank you so much and bye-bye.

-Enjoy the rest of the competition. You came so, so...

-Thank you.

.."close" it says in the link,

but we all know you were a long way away.

In just a few minutes, we'll have our next semifinal clashers,

Tim Vine The Punaway Train

and Darryl The Dazzler Fitton

take on Kate Wild Thing Humble

and Glen Duzza Durrant.

But first, it's not just the players here

at Lakeside who've joined our celebrity flight club.

Two more wanted a piece of the darts action and got more than

they bargained for in the Let's Play Darts Extreme Darts Challenge.

Take a look.

Judy Murray, international tennis royalty. 56.

I'm ready to win.

Versus Seann Walsh, comedian. 30.

Let's. Play. Darts.

Three challenges. Player with the highest total score wins.

I'm going to beat you so bad.

I mean, I'm going to beat you at darts.

You don't frighten me. Well, some things about you frighten me,

but not your darts.

Challenge one. The Cluster.

Players must throw all three darts at the same time.

Let's do this.

49.

Will it be easier for you if I do this?

HE ULULATES

Yeah, it might help.

-HE ULULATES

-16.

Wow.

Walsh leads.

Challenge two. The Pendulum.

Three darts, standard scoring, swinging board.

The best thing to do is move with it.

Oh!

BUZZER

OK, I'm not good at this one.

-BUZZER

-No, nothing.

No score.

BUZZER

-Ooh!

-Oh, my God!

Whoa!

Three. Walsh leads. Final challenge.

The Frenzy. 15 seconds, unlimited darts, blindfolded.

BUZZER Little bit higher.

Oh, God.

-BUZZER

-Oh.

Keep your hand up higher. Go, hurry up.

You're affecting my confidence.

No score. Murray needs 31 points in just 15 seconds to win.

BUZZER

BUZZER

-You're getting there. Very good.

-BUZZER

-Come on, Judy.

-Four, 12.

Come on, Tim. What?

20.

-Oh, very good.

-I'm hitting something.

This is unbelievable.

Wow, you're a natural.

That's just my hand. Big up.

Murray wins.

Yes! Get in!

You're rubbing it in my face.

Notice Andy's not turned up to watch.

You go to all his games, where is he? Never again.

Girl power.

Unbelievable. I voted you off Strictly. There you go.

JUDY LAUGHS

Lovely stuff.

Now, the second of tonight's semifinals should be an absolute thriller.

Will Tim Vine and Darryl be victorious

or will Kate and Glen join Mike and Scotty in the final?

Who'll be throwing trebles, and who'll be throwing a wobbly?

Before we find out, let's take a look at the teams.

SONG: Rocks by Primal Scream

Got to the finishing line, got hit in the eye by an apple seed.

Pipped at the post.

Yes! Come on!

MUSIC: One Step Beyond by Madness

SONG: Rocks by Primal Scream

SONG: Locked Out Of Heaven by Bruno Mars

You're going to be a fighter, aren't you?

SHE WHISTLES

And they join me now, a bundle of nerves, the lot of them.

But you shouldn't be, Tim, because you scored the highest

three dart average of all the celebrities in the quarterfinal.

-Just those three darts, yes.

-LAUGHTER

There is definitely a high standard being set

by Mike Tindall from the celebrities,

who's increased his three dart average in that semifinal to 55.95.

Brilliant.

And I love his action, it looks very, very solid.

-Mine's a bit more... "Ooh!"

-LAUGHTER

Now, you're sitting here on the edge of a final, Kate Humble.

I know, but it's only really because of him, let's face it.

She's lying, she was marvellous.

I'm not, you were just like a machine in the quarterfinals.

It was treble 20 after treble 20.

The annoying thing is that in the quarterfinals I just thought

I haven't got a hope in hell, you know.

I'd barely held a dart a week ago, and so, I didn't really care.

Now that I'm here, A, the only woman in the semis,

so I kind of feel like... Do one for the girls.

Doing it for the girls.

And secondly, I don't want to let him down.

Well, hopefully you all today excel and shine.

I'll let you go and prepare and get ready

and get yourselves into the right frame of mind. good luck.

-Thanks, Gabby.

-Thank you.

Remember, our players are all here to help Sport Relief.

So go to the address on the screen where you'll find a whole host

of brilliant fundraising ideas,

the very special Let's Play Darts Sweepstake game,

and where to buy the all-important Sport Relief trolley token.

Treat yourself - I did. Right, then.

The players are all in place, so we can cross

to our MC, Little Richard Ashdown, to introduce the players.

Let's Play Darts For Sport Relief!

Ladies and gentlemen, don't look directly at him

unless you're wearing sunglasses.

The future's bright, the future's Fitton.

Prepare to be dazzled - it's Darryl The Dazzler Fitton.

SONG: One Step Beyond by Madness

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Ladies and gentlemen, it's the darts-playing, word-playing,

crowd-whipping, fast-quipping king of the one liner.

It's Tim Vine The Punaway Train.

HE HOOTS LIKE A TRAIN

SONG: Mystery Train By Elvis Presley

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

HE HOOTS LIKE A TRAIN

# Train I ride, 16 coaches long

# Well, that long black train... #

HE HOOTS LIKE A TRAIN

# Got my baby and gone

# Train, train Comin' round the bend

# Train, train... #

He's the World Master's Champion and a world number one.

All the way from sunny Middlesbrough.

No-one does it quite like Duzza - it's Glen Duzza Durrant.

MUSIC: Reach Up by Perfecto Allstarz

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

She's a TV presenter known for shows about nature.

But when it comes to darts, let me tell you, she's an animal.

Let me hear you roar for Kate Wild Thing Humble.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

SONG: Wild Thing by The Troggs

Yeah! Give us a roar!

Yeah!

Whoo! Give us a roar!

# You make everything groovy

# Wild thing

# Wild thing, I think I love you

# But I want to know for sure... #

GABBY: So the last of our semifinalists

are all set and ready to go.

As ever, guiding us through the match

are Tony Green and Vassos Alexander,

accompanied by defeated

quarterfinalist Robbie Savage.

Let's join the action.

First leg, it's Tim to throw first, game on.

HE HOOTS

Here we go, then.

Is there any way to derail this Punaway Train?

Last year's beaten finalist

did look nervy at times during his quarterfinal.

36.

Robbie, you nearly had him.

Yeah, I was fed up with hearing that "Boop boop!"

SHE GROWLS

There was that moment, wasn't there, at two legs all...

-KATE:

-Oh, I love this game. If only I knew how to play it.

And they hit that double five.

All credit to Tim, you know, that double five, it broke my heart

with a two and then we'd just got back at two, two

and then Tim, all credit to him, hit that double five. What a dart!

When you say all credit to him, what you mean is...?

What I mean is, I've never seen a man

so desperate to win the tournament after losing the final last year.

-No!

-But I'm not bitter about it.

-And nor's he.

-100.

He hasn't spent 12 months thinking about it, practising,

desperate to be back on the stage,

back in the final, but he's six legs away from the final.

140.

GABBY: So, the second semifinal off to a brisk start.

Let's rejoin the leg with Tim at the oche looking for a checkout of 164.

-Andy Fordham watches on.

-Tim you require 164.

He had the highest average of anyone in the quarterfinals

but only one way to do this,

and it has to start with a treble 20, so not this time for Tim.

-Darts!

-100.

Woohoo!

There it is. There it is, Tony, the "woohoo".

Kate, you require 119.

There's a light.

You'll be hearing that in your nightmares, Robbie,

for years to come.

Certainly will, Vassos, certainly will.

-35.

-Lovely darts, girl!

Darryl, you require 64.

Treble 16, double eight this shot,

for the Dazzler Darryl Fitton to take the first leg.

16 for double 16 now.

Oh, tops. Eight for tops.

-Yes.

-Game shot, and the first leg, to Tim and Darryl.

In form.

CHEERING

GABBY: So, Tim and Darryl take the first leg.

Here's the second leg with Tim at the oche with a possible checkout.

Tim, you require 86.

So, they have six darts if they need them to take out 86.

It can be done in two.

18 for bull or treble for double seven.

A bulls-eye for Tim Vine to take the leg.

-Not far away.

-55.

Still no out shot, 199.

180!

How about that?! Come on, everyone!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Well, Katie loved it, Glen loved it, but, is it in vain?

Because 31 is the finish.

Double eight.

One to go.

-Oh, now then!

-23.

That 180!

Kate, you require 19.

Come on, Kate.

Come on, Kate.

It's going to count now.

CROWD SHOUT ENCOURAGEMENT

Go on, then, girl!

She needs to hit the single three.

She's hit 17, so double one.

They call it the mad house and this place will go mad if she hits it.

Double one she needs for the leg.

Oh, not far away. Come on, Kate!

-No score.

-She tried.

Really good effort.

APPLAUSE

Tim, you require eight.

Look at his face, the Vine!

Jumping up and down.

-Come on, Vine.

-He's on track.

Gives himself a bit of a talking-to on the oche.

Two fours.

Double two.

You can tell when he's nervous.

The tongue comes out and he pulled that.

-Yes.

-So, Glen.

Glen, you require 19.

With a chance to level the semifinal.

Double eight.

One to go.

GROANS

-Oh!

-No score.

-Now then!

Darryl, you require two.

You would imagine that Darryl will take this out,

but the trouble with double one is if you go low...

-Game shot.

-..there's nowhere to go, but he doesn't.

-He makes no mistake, the Dazzler.

-Tim and Darryl!

Great dart that, great dart.

GABBY: 2-0 then, and it's the first to six, remember.

Here's the third leg, with Tim to throw, needing a 77 checkout.

134. Tim you require 77.

He'll feel he should get this.

Bulls-eye, he needs.

-37.

-Double top, get.

-So, Kate.

-Kate, you require 40.

-She'll have nerves here.

With three darts at a double top to win the leg.

Oh, unlucky.

Just go down to the bottom side of the board.

She wants to hit an odd number.

One.

-OK, both...

-Darryl you require 40.

Double top.

Double ten.

Oh, the marker.

Moves across, hits the barrel.

-Misses.

-30.

Glen, you require 39.

Nerves are creeping in.

Seven for double 16.

Already this could be a big moment in the match.

Two darts for it. Two darts for 2-1...

-Come on.

-..double eight.

-Double trouble.

-Quite a big adjustment.

Never miss double eight.

-31.

-Wow!

AUDIENCE: Come on, Tim.

Well, they've had their chances.

Woohoo.

AUDIENCE: Woohoo.

Come on, then.

-Tim, you require ten.

-Here goes Tim.

AUDIENCE: Tim, Tim, Tim!

Keep chugging, Tim.

He can use that, like you said.

-Two left.

-Come off the barrel.

AUDIENCE: Go on, go on!

-Oh!

-No score.

It's all going here.

Kate, you require eight.

AUDIENCE: Kate, Kate, Kate!

Oh, that's not far away.

The world for Kate.

Double two.

Can she do it? Can she do it?

Oh!

-No score.

-Now then.

Darryl, you require ten.

The master, can he now finish it off?

-Yes.

-Game shot.

It's there! Leave it for the pros.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

GABBY: Darryl and the Punaway Train steam on down the track.

Here's Tim at the oche in the fourth leg. 34 points ahead.

Yeah, something about this place...

It's always a nice atmosphere... backstage.

Not always on the stage, but usually.

100.

And that's a really good ton from Tim.

APPLAUSE

Sounds... That's good. Ton from Tim!

93.

Keep smiling, girl. Keep smiling.

I am.

We can do this.

Well, you heard Glen say they can still do this

and they CAN still do it,

but they really don't want to fall further behind here.

AUDIENCE: Go on, Kate.

Kate's got to get a couple into them trebles if she can.

31.

Don't you just love the sound of the board

when the dart hits it?

Yeah, you can hear it on the TV,

but when you're here, it's like "doof". It's brilliant.

Treble 19 for double 18, this would be something.

-Treble 14 with the last if he's counting, which he is.

-93.

He knows his way round a dart board, doesn't he?

See, how did he work that out so quick?

It's the hours of practice that he's put in over the past 12 months

to try and avenge that final defeat.

He knows everything.

-81.

-OK, this is the one.

Darryl, you require 60.

20.

Double top.

-Game shot.

-That's the one.

And the fourth leg, Tim and Darryl.

Going all the way.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

GABBY: Glen and Kate need something big and they need it now.

4-0 down and it's the first to six.

Here's Glen to throw in the fifth, 69 points behind.

Come on.

Brilliant.

180!

CHEERING

How about that?!

That'll get them smiling.

Even the King of Bling appreciates a maximum.

-Good one.

-85.

Kate, you require 153.

He's averaging well north of 100, Glen Durrant.

It's fantastic in this format.

So hard to keep your focus, so hard to keep your concentration.

Magic darts from Glen Durrant.

Anything over 100 is world-class.

He's going to have a chance at a finish.

One, two, three. It's a....

123.

Glen, you require 123.

Good pressure from Darryl.

BOTH: Yes!

16.

Bull is his.

-Oh!

-92.

Got to go for the robot, the treble.

All right, this is for 5-0.

Tim, you require 56.

Two darts for double top.

CROWD: Whoa!

Really good marker.

36.

Anywhere at the bottom, Kate.

Kate, you require 31.

So she needs...

Come on, Kate!

..an odd number with her first dart to leave herself on a double

and then you just never know.

Come on. Don't leave it late, Kate.

Ah.

-This time.

-Hit big two.

Six.

It was a double.

It was a double!

Darryl, you require 20.

OK, double ten.

-It's there.

-Game shot and the fifth leg.

-All over.

-Tim and Darryl.

What was a cake walk.

5-0, they lead.

GABBY: So, Darryl and Tim on the brink of their second final.

Here's the sixth leg and the Punaway Train is full steam ahead

with 156 required to clinch the match.

Match point.

Two treble 20s.

His partner will be coming back.

60.

Just 189 is still the score for Durrant.

Needs a treble, needs a treble.

-54.

-Wrong one.

Darryl, you require 96.

This is it.

Treble 20.

It's treble 20 for double eight.

Oh, so!

There is a chance, there is an opening.

42.

Leave it with you, Vass.

Kate, you require 135.

No problem!

AUDIENCE SHOUT ENCOURAGEMENT

Can't now finish, unfortunately.

-So, 54 points.

-20.

Tim Vine for the match.

Tim, you require 54.

Nine times out of ten, if he was at home, he'd do this.

18 for double 18.

-Come on!

-26.

Just dropped short and that was nerves, pure and simple.

Glen, you require 115.

So, Glen's got to take this out.

There's no two ways about it.

To stay alive. Treble 20 for double 18.

No just, just south of the wire.

99.

-So, we've got the professional at the oche.

-Darryl, you require 28.

Will he take this one now to take the match?

Double seven.

Awkward.

Leave it for Tim?

Getting the best to go there.

Kate will get it.

Great crowd.

-And that's the one!

-Game shot.

-Right in the corner.

-And the match!

Great dart to finish it, you have to say.

It's a 6-0 whitewash, but it's been brilliant.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Kate Humble, having a fantastic time on the oche.

She had her moments, but Tim and Darryl...

Well, they're through to the final again.

Can they go one better this year?

Before we talk through that with the players,

let's not forget that everyone playing darts is here to help

raise money for Sport Relief.

Jason Manford went to Ghana to see how your donations really can

make all the difference.

This is Majida. He's 12 and is an orphan.

His parents died when he was very young

and he now lives with his elderly grandmother, Woni.

Every day is a struggle for Woni

because she's also looking after 12 other grandchildren.

So, Majida has to go to work every day to help out.

Can I have a go? Show me how to do it?

Yeah.

Oh, man! It's not easy.

I mean, I'm particularly unfit to be fair, but that is back-breaking.

But he needs to do it.

What would you like to be doing instead of that?

You'd like to be in school.

-Yes.

-Yeah?

It's crazy, isn't it?

12 years old, and his biggest concern is getting into school.

When I was 12, I don't remember thinking of school as a luxury.

But, you know what? There is hope.

And that hope is because of you.

Because today Majida is finally able to go to school

for the first time in years.

Bye, Grandma.

And that's thanks to a project supported by Sport Relief.

£5 can help a child gain access to education

and get them the tools to help them learn for a whole month.

£10, two kids, £15 three kids.

You can do the maths because you went to school.

Help these children...learn.

Thank you.

Please show your support tonight and send that all-important text.

OK, so here with me now it's our expert in residence, Tony O'Shea.

Tim, Darryl, Kate and Glen.

Guys, congratulations, Tim and Darryl.

Commiserations, Glen and Kate.

Wow! Tim, you made light work of that.

Did you feel you were back close to your best there, Tim?

I felt slightly less nervous, but I still felt quite nervous.

You're still trying too hard.

I can see it in his face when he's up there.

Just told him we're in the final.

He thinks I'm trying too hard, so I don't care what happens now.

LAUGHTER

It didn't quite work at the oche for you, Kate, tonight.

No, I can't throw darts, it's true, but I did love this crowd.

They were fantastic.

In fact, I think you should give yourselves a big cheer.

CHEERING

They were amazing and they made this so much fun tonight.

It was brilliant. I knew, you know, I... I'm really sorry that

-I couldn't be a better partner to Glen.

-You were great.

But I just loved it, it was brilliant.

We saw earlier, Greg Davies has retired from darts

-because of his defeat.

-No way.

Are you going to keep on at the oche?

-Yes.

-Apparently, I am.

Half an hour a week, that's all.

-Half an hour a week.

-That's what we've agreed.

And in about 30 years' time I might be able to hit a treble.

-Tim?

-Yes.

Did you watch Mike Tindall's semifinal performance?

-No, but I heard about it and...

-LAUGHTER

Yeah, no, I did. Well, I walked in the room, and he hit a 100.

I thought, "I've seen enough. My work here's done."

I went back to the practice board.

Well, to win the final,

you'll have to get some of those checkouts one would think.

If you're pushed all the way by Mike Tindall

and Scotty Mitchell, there are going to be moments.

Listen, I think it's time for me to actually say,

I'm going to start dreaming big.

I've been a runner-up all my life.

I'm a younger brother, but this is the moment to break that mould.

-This is it.

-Yes.

This is the... this is the moment to say,

I, I'm going to give it my all with my heart,

but I won't try too hard with my arm, how about that?

That's OK.

Tony, what do you think they've got to do?

You've seen both pairs that have made the final.

What have they got to do to take that trophy home?

Obviously, they'll have to play a lot better.

The way Mike and Scotty played earlier on,

they'll have to improve their game.

You've been warned, you've been told.

So, I mustn't try any harder but I've got to improve.

LAUGHTER

-Kate, thank you for giving us...

-Thank you.

..so much entertainment up there.

Glen, you were a brilliant addition to the squad.

I've had a wonderful time. Thanks for the invite.

Thank you so much.

Tim, Darryl, we'll see you in the final.

BOTH: We will.

Tony, thank you so much as well. And remember, you can still text

to donate and do Your bit for Sport Relief.

So, it's commiserations to Kate and Glen, who came so far,

but couldn't quite go all the way.

And massive congratulations to the Punaway Train and Darryl

who go full steam ahead into the grand final, where they'll face

Mike Tindall and Scotty Mitchell and what a final it promises to be.

Think of it as the throw down showdown. Keep darting.

Goodnight.

CHEERING

MUSIC: Peanut Butter Jelly by Galantis

I'm cold as ice!

180!

Game shot and the match!