Episode 6 Morgana Robinson's The Agency


Episode 6

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Transcript


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This programme contains some strong language

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This is Mann Management,

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one of the UK's foremost celebrity talent agencies.

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Their illustrious client base is managed by

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agent to the stars Vincent Mann.

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What does it take to be a great agent?

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The ability to convince people that you're right when you know

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full well that you're wrong.

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In an unprecedented move, he's given our documentary crew

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unlimited access to both his agency and his superstar clients.

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This is the golden age of celebrity.

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Once you've made it you can do anything.

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You've got stand-ups on bikes, cyclists on panel shows...

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Christ, I've even got Danny Dyer a gig on a history programme!

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Welcome to Time Team. I'm Danny Dyer.

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Baldrick ain't here, he's having laser eye surgery,

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so I'm taking over the game.

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Sweet!

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Let's do some archaenology.

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Achreology. Archo...

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Fuck it, digging. Let's do some digging.

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What you found there, bub?

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Well, not much at the moment,

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but we think this discoloured earth here shows there was

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-a dwelling on this site.

-Oh, yeah?

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All the good stuff's gone in his pockets, I'll wager.

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Go on, crack on, son.

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Here, you're going to need a bigger spade than that.

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Geezer over there, he's using a toothbrush.

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Oh, this is going to take fucking ages!

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This lovely old Doris don't mind getting her hands dirty.

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Got any treasure for me, sweetheart?

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-No, Daniel, no treasure, but lots of pottery fragments.

-Oh, yeah?

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How much are they worth, then?

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Well, not much, but they tell us an awful lot.

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I tell me you need to get yourself a geezer, get your leg over.

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I'm only having a bubble, darlin'.

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-So, come on...

-CRUNCH!

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..what's the best thing you've ever found?

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Well, I found a very rare coin from the Ottoman Empire.

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Oh, this is proper boring, this!

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Can't we get a JCB in?

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Danny, you might want to look at this!

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Oh, here we go, it's all kicking off!

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Come on!

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-Fuck me, this went bad, didn't it?

-Well, yes.

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No-one tells no-one about nothing, OK?

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That's rule number one in my gaff - you never grass.

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But this could be of great significance.

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-I'm telling you, bury him back up, keep schtum!

-But...

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Do it!

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Danny Dyer ain't no grass.

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I'm a man of old-fashioned principles.

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Come on.

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You can help an' all, love, come on!

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Right, job done. This never happened, let's scarper.

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Now.

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Oh, I've lost the keys to me Range Rover.

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Oh, they must have fallen in the hole with the dead geezer!

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You two are good at finding things, ain't ya? Well, come on!

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It ain't going to dig itself.

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I've got to pick me treacle up from Zumba in a half hour.

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Look lively!

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At the office, Vincent is having his daily catch-up

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with assistant Rachel.

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And Joanna Lumley has got that shoot today for her yoghurt commercial.

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Now, that is good news.

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Frankly, she could do with the money.

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-Mm.

-Not that she can get her head round that.

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Talking of heads, what is that?

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Are you growing a new one?

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-It's just a spot.

-That is not just a spot.

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Anyway, Jo Lumley, make sure you get her to the shoot.

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Jojo needs this. She's going through a rough patch.

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Not unlike your chin!

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-HE LAUGHS

-Oh...

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That was funny, that was.

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Joanna Lumley may not be fully aware,

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but her exotic lifestyle has come at a premium.

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And for Rachel, the challenge is getting Jo

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out of the house and into work.

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Yes, come in. Come in. Meet my yogi.

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Tell me, are you the new stable girl?

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I've been working with Joanna for about three years now.

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She doesn't have a stable.

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No, I've come to pick you up for the commercial. Do you remember?

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We're a bit tight on time.

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HE CHANTS

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-Oh, he hasn't spoken in months!

-What's he saying?

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I've absolutely no idea. Isn't it extraordinary?

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If we could just make our way out to the car...

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Oh, do we have to do it today, darling?

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It seems such a shame to break up the party.

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I was just about to do my Patsy. Shall I do my Patsy?

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Joanna thinks that she can get away with anything by doing her Patsy.

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Eddie, Eddie, Eddie,

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where's the bloody Bolly, Eddie?

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Can I borrow the car?

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-It's good, isn't it?

-Mm-hm.

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The only person it really works on his Vinny.

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If you get a chance, ask her to do her Patsy.

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Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, where's the bloody Bolly?

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It's like that.

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But better.

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Oh, look, we're travelling.

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Like Romanies.

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They're an hour late, but Rachel finally has Joanna out of the house

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and en route to the yoghurt commercial.

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Joanna, do you mind if I ask how you are with the lines?

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Oh, how kind of you to ask. I've been up all night poring over them.

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I've got the script here.

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I'm not sure that's today's script, Joanna.

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Oh, they're all the same, darling, trust me.

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People hire Jojo for Jojo - game old bird.

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If you want some old wild bird you get in Denchy or Dame Mags.

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-Go on, sweetie, test me.

-OK...

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"What have you got there, Joanna?"

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-Should we go again?

-Oh, yes, let's. What have you got there, Joanna?

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-No, that's the other character.

-Oh, they've got a line too?

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-Oh, that's made my day.

-What have you got there, Joanna?

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Oh, Fortnum's! Pull over, Dicky, hampers all round. My treat.

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Oh, and there's a Boots next door.

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I can pop in and get some concealer for your little friend.

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With a direct line to some of the nation's biggest stars,

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we were able to take them back to the days before they were famous.

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What did I want to be when I grew up? Dinner lady.

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That was always the game plan early on.

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What did I want to be when I grew up?

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An illusionist, like Houdini or Siegfried & Roy and all that mob.

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A physiotherapist for men's rugby teams who specialises in groin work.

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Who wouldn't want to see Danny Dyer make an elephant disappear,

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or sit in a glass box or something?

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Then it turned out that I'd a god-given talent to sing

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like Aretha Franklin or one of them lot, so I never made it

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as a dinner lady, which is a shame, really, cos I fancied that.

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I'm one of the lucky ones, mate,

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because I've become exactly what I wanted to be when I was a kid -

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a social media opinion-former,

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Instagram specialist and co-writer of disposable lifestyle guidebooks.

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What did I want to be when I grew up?

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A free spirit with a lifelong record contract that I couldn't get out of.

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What did I want to be when I grew up?

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A beautiful dolphin with incredible cheekbones.

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Even celebrities harbour dreams.

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And for Natalie Cassidy, that dream is to one day host The One Show.

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I first realised I'd be perfect for The One Show when I was

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working at Robert Dyas between Sonya stints.

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Cliff on electrics said I had the common touch

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of a broadcasting genius.

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So I've come up with a game plan to get me foot in the door.

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Well, sometimes it's practical to get tactical -

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that's me new mantra.

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I seen it on a Facebook meme.

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LOUD DANCE MUSIC

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-SHE YELLS:

-Kat, does Alex Jones off One Show still go leisure centre?

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Shut up, Nat, I'm doing my Insanity.

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Yeah, but does she still go, though?

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Dad, tell her!

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She's doing her Insanity!

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Yeah, I know, but she only has to say yes or no, though!

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-MUSIC STOPS

-Thanks a lot, Nat,

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you've ruined my Insanity. Now I'll be fat forever.

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-But does she still go, though?

-I don't know, Nat! God!

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I was only asking.

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When Kat finally started talking to me again,

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she confirmed that Alex Jones off One Show does something

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called Bikram yoga up the leisure centre.

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I'm just hoping that if we bump into each other we'll get chatting

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and she'll see that I'm the perfect stand-in for her next time

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she goes on her holidays.

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Well, I've got here an hour early, just to be safe.

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We'll just sit and see if she turns up.

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Half an hour early would have been enough, probably.

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SHE SIGHS

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# Call on me, call on me

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# Call on me

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# I'm the same boy I used to be. #

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SHE SNORES

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SHE SNORTS

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Oh, I haven't nodded off, have I?

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Oh, I've probably missed her now!

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What time is it?

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Hang on, that's her, isn't it?

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It is!

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Right, wish me luck. Operation Yoga is go.

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'What I'll do is I'll play it cool, let Alex do her Bikram first,

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'and then just see if she fancies a quick frappuccino at Costa's after.'

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Bloody hell!

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Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

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Oh, you're double joking -

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you're not even Alex Jones!

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SHE SIGHS

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I am a bit disappointed it wasn't Alex Jones off One Show at Bikram,

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but I still feel positive about achieving

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me One Show presenting dream.

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Well, nothing worth doing comes easy, does it?

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Another one of me Facebook catchphrases.

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At Mann Management, Vincent has some potentially

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career-changing news for Miranda Hart,

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who is determined to be taken more seriously as an actor.

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Good news, Miranda - you wanted to do some serious acting, well,

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-the big one's coming.

-Orange Is The New Black?!

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You told them I'm happy to do lezzy stuff, yeah?

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I am no stranger to ladies' parts after an all-girl boarding school

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and five series of Call The Midwife.

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No, it's better than that - Game Of Thrones!

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Mirandor of Hartland at your service, my liege.

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How did you swing that one, Vincent?

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Well, to be honest, you know they've been going for six seasons...

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Ooh, seasons, I love that.

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So much better than series, isn't it?

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Those Americans with their seasons and their fanny packs -

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oh, what larks! It's a big time for me.

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Yeah, well, they've been going for so long and they've killed off

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so many characters they've worked their way through pretty much

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every British actor going. I know for a fact they've seen

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Pauline Quirke, Richard Blackwood and Justin from CBeebies this week.

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You've got a casting!

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Now, be honest, Vincenzo,

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they want a flash of the old boobarellas, don't they?

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-I'm pretty sure they don't, actually.

-I don't mind.

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If I'm to be taken seriously I'll have to get the old

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Bafta-catchers out at some point, won't I?

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-They haven't mentioned a sex scene.

-We must insist!

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Tell them I'll only get jiggy with Jon Snow.

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Stipulate that in my contract.

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And make sure they don't think we're talking about Jon Snow

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-from Channel 4 News.

-SHE SNORTS

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He's got a lot of colourful ties and he knows how to use them,

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but I'm not going there again.

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You wanted to do some serious acting, here's your chance.

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Oh, gosh, it's not a sex scene with that little chap, is it?

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Have you told them I'm 6'1"? Cos that would be mega awks!

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I don't think you've got a scene with Peter Dinklage -

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it's quite a small part.

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Oh, Dinklage! Ha-ha! Small part!

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This stuff writes itself.

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Right, I'm off to Immac me bosoms.

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Oh!

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Serious acting from now on, you said.

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I'm fine, I am fine.

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To Mordor!

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Yeah, that's not...

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Never mind.

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After a lengthy detour to Fortnum & Mason,

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Rachel has finally delivered Joanna

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to the set of her yoghurt commercial.

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And what's more, darling, I have a brand-new friend -

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bacteria.

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Enchante!

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Cut there.

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Brilliant.

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Erm, OK, let's reset for the close-up on Joanna. Thank you.

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I'm sorry, sweetie, what was that?

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We just want to get a close-up of you eating the yoghurt.

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Oh, no, darling, I couldn't possibly do that.

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-What does she mean?

-Well, one can't eat a friend, can they?

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It'd be like tucking into June Whitfield, wouldn't it?

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He's my little tum chum now, aren't you, my creamy poppet?

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SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

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When you're in the business of managing talent,

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you have to get used to some... let's say eccentric behaviour.

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You need to be inventive, be able to think on your feet,

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go the extra mile.

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Thankfully, I've taught Rachel to do all that crap

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while I concentrate on the, er...

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the bigger picture stuff.

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-What have you got there, Joanna?

-Oh, you mean this?

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It's Yoghini -

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a deliciously tempting cream-laden dessert fit for a god.

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Careful, darling, you'll make me jealous.

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Don't worry, I've saved something very special for you.

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Enjoying that?

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And what's more, darling, I've a brand-new friend -

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bacteria.

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Enchante.

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This is what I've become.

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I've got a degree in politics.

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My sister's a doctor!

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Miranda Hart is at a central London location, taking another step

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towards her career ambition - a role in Game Of Thrones.

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If you'd like to say your name into the camera

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and then have a go at the script.

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-Yeah, OK.

-SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

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Mirandypants Hertfordshire, at your service.

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Little bit nervous, sweaty-face emoji, poo emoji.

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Don't be nervous,

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just want to get you on tape having a go at the script.

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Erm, OK, let me just get into what I like to call "la zone".

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-DEEP VOICE:

-Harry Potter.

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-SHRILL VOICE:

-Harry Potter!

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Frrrodo and the rrrring.

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-AS GOLLUM:

-Dirty little Hobbitses!

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Use the Force.

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Kkkkchh!

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When you're ready.

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Old peasant woman, they say you have a message.

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Sire, I am old and weak and I have walked many days and nights

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to bring you this scroll from King's Landing.

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You walked? Why did you not run, peasant?

0:16:310:16:35

Because my boobicles bang together when I run

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and a little bit of wee comes out.

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SHE SNORTS AND LAUGHS

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Oh, God, I'm funny.

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Miranda's audition didn't go too well, but thankfully

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Gemma Collins got stuck in a sunbed, so she's on the show.

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This could lead to a lot more serious roles.

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It's not a sex scene, but it's a good start.

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She's playing Tall Peasant 2.

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I'm very happy for her.

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Gregg Wallace is one of Vincent's brightest stars.

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He's made a hugely successful career out of liking things

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and not liking things.

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But Gregg has a problem.

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'Right, I've got Gregg Wallace in reception. He says he's got...'

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Two minutes!

0:17:150:17:17

What's that?

0:17:190:17:20

-What?

-What is that?

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-That's a straw donkey, Gregg.

-No, it's not, it's kryptonite.

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My cousin brought it back from his holiday for me and the problem is,

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I can't decide whether I like it or I don't like it.

0:17:310:17:35

-What?

-This donkey has sapped all of my confidence.

0:17:360:17:39

Problems do not get tougher than this!

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I don't like it.

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Well, there you go - you don't like it.

0:17:430:17:45

To be honest, I don't like it either.

0:17:450:17:46

Looks like a cheap piece of sh...

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No, I mean that I don't like it, that I don't know whether

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I like it or I don't like it.

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And I don't like it!

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EPIC MUSIC

0:17:540:17:56

Sire, I have walked many days and nights to bring you this

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-scroll from King's Landing.

-You walked? You walked?!

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-Why did you not run?

-I'm old and weak, sire.

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-EPIC MUSIC STOPS

-Light bulb moment.

0:18:160:18:18

My top could fall open at this point,

0:18:180:18:20

up the nipple count for the nerds, eh, wink-face, thumbs-up emoji?

0:18:200:18:25

-No!

-Please, no.

-Rude king!

0:18:250:18:28

Just do the scene.

0:18:280:18:30

Action.

0:18:300:18:31

Guard, run her through.

0:18:330:18:34

Ah! Urgh!

0:18:360:18:38

Um, ouch!

0:18:380:18:39

I'm fine! I'm fine. I don't do that any more, so...

0:18:430:18:46

What was that? You can't just come back up and say, "I'm fine!"

0:18:460:18:49

You're not, you're dead.

0:18:490:18:50

Yes, about that - I've been having a peruse

0:18:500:18:54

and Tall Peasant 2 doesn't die in the book.

0:18:540:18:56

Miranda, just give me a good death scene and we can move on.

0:18:560:19:01

OK, uno questiono, though -

0:19:010:19:03

can a wizard make me better later?

0:19:030:19:06

Some sort of healing spell?

0:19:060:19:07

Cos I'd really like to develop Tall Peasant 2's arc.

0:19:070:19:11

No. No, come on.

0:19:110:19:13

Action!

0:19:130:19:15

Guard, run her through.

0:19:150:19:16

Ah!

0:19:190:19:21

-Urgh!

-Ouch, pointy!

0:19:210:19:23

Oh, totes dying!

0:19:240:19:26

This is it for Tall Peasant 2.

0:19:260:19:28

Oh!

0:19:290:19:31

Oh, so cold. So cold.

0:19:310:19:33

Yep, slipping away, slipping away.

0:19:330:19:36

Oh! Proper acting, isn't it, this?

0:19:360:19:38

Prestige drama.

0:19:380:19:40

And down she goes.

0:19:400:19:41

Give the nerds what they want, and Deadfordshire.

0:19:450:19:48

Oh, hello, prince! I can see up all the boys' skirts!

0:19:500:19:53

Don't worry, I've seen this before.

0:19:570:19:59

I think they sell them all over Spain.

0:19:590:20:02

Not that donkey, you donkey, I mean your condition.

0:20:020:20:05

You've got the yips.

0:20:050:20:06

Do I not like the sound of that!

0:20:060:20:08

Hang on, I don't know if I do or I don't. Oh, God!

0:20:090:20:12

Don't worry, it's just a wobble. Come out here.

0:20:120:20:15

Right, Gregg, I want you to look at your left foot.

0:20:210:20:25

Just as an exercise, I want you to pretend that you like that foot.

0:20:250:20:30

Do you think you could do that?

0:20:300:20:32

Now I want you to look at your right foot.

0:20:320:20:35

Every time you see that right foot,

0:20:350:20:37

-I want you to pretend that you don't like it. OK?

-OK.

0:20:370:20:41

Now I want you to slowly walk round the room and just tell me

0:20:410:20:44

what you're thinking.

0:20:440:20:46

Go on, Gregg. You can do it.

0:20:470:20:50

I like it.

0:20:550:20:57

I don't like it.

0:21:000:21:01

I like it.

0:21:040:21:05

I don't like it.

0:21:070:21:08

That's my boy. You can do it.

0:21:080:21:10

I like it.

0:21:120:21:13

I don't like it.

0:21:130:21:15

I like it. I don't like it.

0:21:150:21:17

I like it, I don't like it, I like it, I don't like it,

0:21:170:21:19

I like it, I don't like it.

0:21:190:21:20

Vin, I'm back, and do I like that?

0:21:200:21:23

I like it a lot!

0:21:230:21:25

Wait a second, Gregg, let's just be absolutely sure.

0:21:250:21:28

Gregg, what do you think of that donkey?

0:21:320:21:35

I don't like it!

0:21:370:21:38

It is disgusting!

0:21:380:21:40

I really don't like it!

0:21:400:21:43

# How you like me now? #

0:21:430:21:44

Gregg Wallace is back in the room!

0:21:440:21:46

Come on!

0:21:460:21:48

-You know what that was.

-Not a clue.

0:21:510:21:53

-That was a masterclass.

-Was it?

0:21:530:21:56

Cos it looked like two middle-aged men shouting at a donkey.

0:21:570:22:00

Natalie Cassidy may have failed to track down Alex Jones...

0:22:040:22:07

PHONE RINGS ..but little does she know that good news is just around the corner.

0:22:070:22:11

Hello, Cassidy household. Natalie Cassidy speaking.

0:22:140:22:17

Nat, it's Vince.

0:22:170:22:19

I've got a little job for you tomorrow.

0:22:190:22:21

Oh, I can't, Vinny, I promised myself a little treat.

0:22:210:22:24

I'm having me verrucas frozen off tomorrow.

0:22:240:22:27

Nat, it's The One Show.

0:22:270:22:29

The One Show?

0:22:290:22:31

That's the golden ticket to a mainstream audience, Vince!

0:22:310:22:34

I know it is, darling, and they need you to fill in for Alex.

0:22:340:22:38

Oh, you're double joking!

0:22:380:22:40

How comes they've gone for me?

0:22:400:22:42

Joe Swash brought back Indonesian flu from one of his

0:22:420:22:44

competition videos where you win a holiday and it's spread through

0:22:440:22:47

the celeb community like wildfire.

0:22:470:22:50

Rylan Clark's head swelled up like a melon,

0:22:500:22:53

Lineker can't even keep his soup down and Bradley Walsh is

0:22:530:22:56

pissing bright-green water out of his arse.

0:22:560:22:58

They just needed to know that you were in good health

0:22:580:23:00

and the job was yours, but never mind.

0:23:000:23:03

Tell them I'll do it, Vince.

0:23:030:23:05

The verrucas can wait!

0:23:050:23:07

Aaaaaaah!

0:23:100:23:12

I spent all that time chasing The One Show,

0:23:130:23:17

then The One Show ended up chasing ME!

0:23:170:23:20

It just shows it was written in the stars

0:23:200:23:23

that Bradley Walsh would have green water coming out of his arse.

0:23:230:23:27

# Dreams can come true

0:23:330:23:35

# Look at me babe I'm with you

0:23:350:23:38

# You know you've got to have hope

0:23:380:23:40

# You know you've got to be strong

0:23:400:23:43

# Dreams can come true... #

0:23:430:23:44

Dad!

0:23:440:23:46

Will you help me practise for The One Show?

0:23:460:23:48

I'm on me poker.

0:23:480:23:49

-Dad...

-All right, all right.

0:23:500:23:53

Well, I hope it's a roaring success.

0:23:530:23:56

Please give it up for Mr Pierce Brosnan!

0:23:560:24:00

No, don't you clap, Dad - you're him.

0:24:020:24:05

Who doesn't love a good old piece of British toast and butter?

0:24:050:24:11

I hate toast, Nat.

0:24:110:24:12

Dad, Pierce Brosnan ain't gonna hate toast, is he?

0:24:120:24:15

Well, how do you know? You've got to be ready for anything, Nat.

0:24:150:24:19

You're right. Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you.

0:24:190:24:23

It's just that all I've ever wanted is to host The One Show.

0:24:230:24:27

And it puts you in the national psyche, don't it?

0:24:270:24:30

I know it does, darling.

0:24:300:24:32

Look, why don't you have a bath and an early night?

0:24:320:24:35

You want to be tip-top for tomorrow, don't you?

0:24:350:24:37

-What about the dishes, Dad?

-I'll do them now.

-Really?

0:24:370:24:41

Thanks, Dad.

0:24:420:24:43

Love ya.

0:24:450:24:46

# You know you've got to have hope

0:24:480:24:50

# You know you've got to be strong

0:24:500:24:53

# Dreams can come true

0:24:530:24:55

# Look at me, babe. #

0:24:550:24:57

With an open door to Vincent's clients...

0:24:580:25:00

Avocado cheesecake!

0:25:000:25:02

..we were able to ask the stars some more pertinent questions

0:25:020:25:05

about their celebrity.

0:25:050:25:07

How much is a pint of milk? How would I know?

0:25:070:25:10

I can't go and buy milk.

0:25:100:25:12

The last time I bought milk,

0:25:120:25:14

the headline was "Semi-skimmed Cheryl gets bang on the cow juice."

0:25:140:25:19

Can you imagine how upsetting that was for me? No, you can't.

0:25:190:25:22

That's why one of me PAs gets the milk in.

0:25:220:25:25

What kind of milk?

0:25:260:25:27

Soya? Oat? Almonds? Goat? Rice?

0:25:270:25:31

Organic? Raw? Lactose free?

0:25:310:25:33

Or coconut?

0:25:330:25:34

Oh, I get it.

0:25:340:25:36

Pint of milk - silk, silkworm - firm,

0:25:360:25:39

firm bum - gun.

0:25:390:25:41

How much is a shooter? About a monkey, mate.

0:25:410:25:44

Semi-skimmed? What, from cows?

0:25:440:25:46

Erm, retro vibes on your milk, there, mate.

0:25:460:25:48

I suppose you're going to tell me you're still eating wheat,

0:25:480:25:51

you knobber.

0:25:510:25:52

How much is a pint of milk? 79p.

0:25:520:25:55

Why, are you making a cup of tea? Don't worry, I'll do it!

0:25:550:25:59

I've got half a pack of Hobnobs in me handbag. I'll put the kettle on.

0:25:590:26:03

How much is a pint of milk?

0:26:030:26:05

You can't catch our Jojo out, it's two and six.

0:26:050:26:09

Here we go, sorry I've been a while.

0:26:090:26:12

Kettle takes ages to boil when it's full. There you go, Ken.

0:26:120:26:16

Ha! You can't fool me, I'm a man of the people,

0:26:160:26:19

the proletariat prince, the crusader for the common man,

0:26:190:26:23

the Herbert's emperor.

0:26:230:26:25

I know how much a pint of milk is.

0:26:250:26:27

It's £94 sterling for a gold top

0:26:280:26:31

and £86 sterling for half-skimmed.

0:26:310:26:34

Oh, you went for a choccy one, I knew you would.

0:26:340:26:36

I'll be back in a second with the milk.

0:26:360:26:38

The day has finally arrived

0:26:390:26:41

for Natalie Cassidy to host The One Show.

0:26:410:26:44

-KNOCKING

-Nat?

0:26:440:26:47

Nat, are you there?

0:26:470:26:48

I don't feel well, Dad.

0:26:480:26:50

What time's dinner?

0:26:570:26:58

SHE RETCHES

0:26:580:27:01

RETCHING CONTINUES

0:27:010:27:03

Better out than in. Urgh...

0:27:060:27:08

I suppose I am a bit gutted that all my dreams have been

0:27:080:27:10

smashed to pieces, yeah.

0:27:100:27:12

The doctor reckons I've got Indonesian flu off whoever

0:27:120:27:15

licked the envelope with my practice scripts in it.

0:27:150:27:18

I suppose it's just one of them things, though, ain't it?

0:27:190:27:22

Who knows?

0:27:220:27:24

There might be another time all the people in front of me

0:27:240:27:26

get a tropical disease.

0:27:260:27:28

Could happen.

0:27:280:27:30

SHE COUGHS

0:27:300:27:33

But unfortunately, there's no respite for poorly Natalie.

0:27:330:27:36

Welcome to The One Show. I'm Kimberley Walsh.

0:27:390:27:42

Now, before we get started,

0:27:420:27:44

can I just say get well soon to Natalie Cassidy, who can't be here

0:27:440:27:48

tonight because she's been pissing bright-green water out of her arse.

0:27:480:27:52

Oh, you are double joking.

0:27:520:27:55

Now, who doesn't love a good old piece of British toast and butter?

0:27:550:28:01

# Take a little time, smile

0:28:030:28:06

# Make a little thing worthwhile

0:28:070:28:11

# When the moon comes up and the sun goes down

0:28:110:28:15

# Take a little time to smile

0:28:150:28:18

# And when the moon comes up and the sun goes down

0:28:190:28:24

# Just relax, love is still around

0:28:240:28:27

# So smile

0:28:270:28:29

# Take a little time to smile. #

0:28:300:28:33

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