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APPLAUSE | 0:00:26 | 0:00:29 | |
Hello, I'm Frank Skinner, and welcome to Room 101, | 0:00:33 | 0:00:37 | |
the show where three guests battle to get the things they hate | 0:00:37 | 0:00:40 | |
entombed for all eternity in the dreaded vault. | 0:00:40 | 0:00:43 | |
They'll have to argue their case well, because in each round | 0:00:43 | 0:00:46 | |
only one item can be chosen. The final decision is mine. | 0:00:46 | 0:00:49 | |
Let's meet this week's guests. | 0:00:49 | 0:00:51 | |
He'll make you laugh, James Acaster, | 0:00:51 | 0:00:53 | |
she'll make you think, Kirsty Wark, | 0:00:53 | 0:00:54 | |
he'll make you dinner, Heston Blumenthal. | 0:00:54 | 0:00:56 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:00:56 | 0:01:00 | |
BELL RINGS | 0:01:05 | 0:01:06 | |
OK, what's winding up James? | 0:01:06 | 0:01:09 | |
Don't really need to explain that, do I? | 0:01:17 | 0:01:19 | |
Probably the worst of all the animals, I'd say. | 0:01:19 | 0:01:23 | |
Lairy, but unjustifiably lairy. | 0:01:23 | 0:01:27 | |
I don't really believe a goose could handle itself, | 0:01:27 | 0:01:30 | |
but it fronts it all the time. | 0:01:30 | 0:01:32 | |
Like, a swan, we know, can break your arm, | 0:01:33 | 0:01:36 | |
and geese are just like the people who hang out with the bigger kids. | 0:01:36 | 0:01:39 | |
Just go up to you, going, "Nah," | 0:01:39 | 0:01:41 | |
and you know you could punch it, but it's a goose. | 0:01:41 | 0:01:44 | |
-We have a clip, actually. -Oh, God. | 0:01:45 | 0:01:47 | |
Of a man in a canoe enjoying a beautiful day's canoeing. | 0:01:47 | 0:01:51 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:01:57 | 0:01:59 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:02:04 | 0:02:06 | |
I rest my case. | 0:02:11 | 0:02:13 | |
I don't know what your antipathy to geese is. | 0:02:13 | 0:02:15 | |
I mean...(foie gras)! | 0:02:15 | 0:02:17 | |
What did you just say to me? | 0:02:18 | 0:02:20 | |
-WHISPERS: -Foie gras. | 0:02:20 | 0:02:22 | |
-Huh? -Oh, foie gras! I thought you said something else then. | 0:02:22 | 0:02:24 | |
Yeah, I thought... | 0:02:24 | 0:02:26 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:02:26 | 0:02:27 | |
What time does this show go out? | 0:02:27 | 0:02:28 | |
I mean, geese are not all bad. | 0:02:30 | 0:02:32 | |
Are you talking about eating geese, in terms of, like..? | 0:02:32 | 0:02:35 | |
Oh, goose is good. | 0:02:35 | 0:02:36 | |
Yeah, but like, Heston, you could probably make something | 0:02:36 | 0:02:39 | |
that tastes like a goose that isn't a goose. | 0:02:39 | 0:02:41 | |
Put some paprika in a duck. | 0:02:41 | 0:02:43 | |
I got a proposal for a TV show once, from this production company, | 0:02:48 | 0:02:53 | |
and there's this whole issue of sustainability seafood. | 0:02:53 | 0:02:57 | |
So the tuna stocks are disappearing. So Heston reinvents tuna! | 0:02:57 | 0:03:03 | |
I actually came up with a new breed of fish. | 0:03:03 | 0:03:06 | |
Did you proper come up with a new breed of fish, | 0:03:06 | 0:03:09 | |
or did you just gaffer tape some flippers to a cat? | 0:03:09 | 0:03:13 | |
-How can you reinvent tuna? -Eat that! | 0:03:13 | 0:03:16 | |
-I wouldn't lie to you. -LAUGHTER | 0:03:16 | 0:03:18 | |
We did this Christmas show where we took a goose | 0:03:19 | 0:03:23 | |
and decided to feed it Christmas tree. | 0:03:23 | 0:03:26 | |
Not a whole Christmas tree? | 0:03:26 | 0:03:28 | |
No, it was pine essential oil. | 0:03:28 | 0:03:29 | |
Is that why they swim like that? | 0:03:29 | 0:03:31 | |
-It's the Christmas tree formation. -Yeah! | 0:03:31 | 0:03:33 | |
You fed it Christmas tree?! Wow. | 0:03:35 | 0:03:37 | |
We made this feed and we thought, if we thought it was nice, | 0:03:37 | 0:03:40 | |
and then the geese ate it, then it would be really nice to eat. | 0:03:40 | 0:03:43 | |
So we did it for about two months before they killed the goose. | 0:03:43 | 0:03:46 | |
How did you kill it? Did it choke on a bauble? | 0:03:46 | 0:03:50 | |
No, I didn't have anything to do with that, | 0:03:50 | 0:03:52 | |
but I had to go and choose the goose. | 0:03:52 | 0:03:54 | |
I had to go into this pen, and this flipping thing went for me, | 0:03:54 | 0:03:58 | |
and it hissed, and its neck went forward, and it... | 0:03:58 | 0:04:01 | |
What you need, you needed one of these. | 0:04:01 | 0:04:03 | |
DUCK QUACK | 0:04:05 | 0:04:07 | |
I can hear them hitting the window at the back of the building! | 0:04:08 | 0:04:11 | |
What's amazing about this though, is if you hear geese fly over, | 0:04:14 | 0:04:19 | |
they all have a great variety of sounds. | 0:04:19 | 0:04:21 | |
It's amazing. I've tried to recreate this for people | 0:04:21 | 0:04:25 | |
who don't live in goose country. | 0:04:25 | 0:04:27 | |
DIFFERENTLY PITCHED SQUEAKING | 0:04:29 | 0:04:32 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:04:32 | 0:04:35 | |
Anyone who switches on now, | 0:04:37 | 0:04:38 | |
they'll think this is Tubular Bells live. | 0:04:38 | 0:04:40 | |
One of my problems with geese is they nearly killed Rod Stewart. | 0:04:44 | 0:04:48 | |
-Are you aware of this? -No. | 0:04:48 | 0:04:50 | |
This was quite a big news story. Anyone? | 0:04:50 | 0:04:52 | |
-Are you thinking about Rod Hull? -No! | 0:04:52 | 0:04:55 | |
-No, not him. -No? | 0:04:59 | 0:05:01 | |
There it is, look. | 0:05:01 | 0:05:04 | |
So you see the headline. You think, "I wonder what happened", | 0:05:04 | 0:05:07 | |
and then it says, "Star tells of fear as goose hits engine". | 0:05:07 | 0:05:11 | |
I once went to an audience with Rod Stewart, | 0:05:13 | 0:05:15 | |
and you know they used to have all the questions set up in advance? | 0:05:15 | 0:05:19 | |
And he said, "No, no, I just want to do it spontaneously. | 0:05:19 | 0:05:21 | |
"I don't want celebrities at the front, I want them at the back. | 0:05:21 | 0:05:25 | |
"I just want the public. I want real questions". | 0:05:25 | 0:05:27 | |
So he did a couple of songs. Brilliant. | 0:05:27 | 0:05:29 | |
He said to this guy, "Got a question?" | 0:05:29 | 0:05:31 | |
The guy said, "Yeah, why don't you make good albums like you used to in the '70s?" | 0:05:31 | 0:05:35 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:05:35 | 0:05:37 | |
You know they have teeth as well. | 0:05:41 | 0:05:43 | |
Where? | 0:05:43 | 0:05:44 | |
They have teeth, not only in their beak but also on their tongue. | 0:05:44 | 0:05:48 | |
Oh, I hate them so much. | 0:05:50 | 0:05:51 | |
Ugh! | 0:05:51 | 0:05:53 | |
Oh, my God! Right. I've won the round. | 0:05:53 | 0:05:56 | |
There's no way I've not won. | 0:05:57 | 0:05:59 | |
Look at that. | 0:05:59 | 0:06:00 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:06:00 | 0:06:03 | |
Also, if you ever feed bread to ducks, | 0:06:06 | 0:06:08 | |
a goose always comes along and bullies everyone. | 0:06:08 | 0:06:10 | |
Just bullies everyone. | 0:06:10 | 0:06:12 | |
Everyone's got to step back. The goose is gobbling it all. | 0:06:12 | 0:06:15 | |
That's how it eats. | 0:06:17 | 0:06:19 | |
Like that. Who eats like that? | 0:06:19 | 0:06:21 | |
Just vibrating their whole head, all the way down the neck, | 0:06:21 | 0:06:24 | |
then walks away thinking, "Nailed that. Everyone thinks I'm cool". | 0:06:24 | 0:06:27 | |
No-one thinks you're cool, goose. | 0:06:27 | 0:06:29 | |
Anyway... | 0:06:31 | 0:06:33 | |
..on to Kirsty. | 0:06:34 | 0:06:36 | |
Men who wear too much aftershave. | 0:06:42 | 0:06:44 | |
Imagine you're on an early flight from Glasgow to London, | 0:06:46 | 0:06:49 | |
and you're beside this guy, and he is wearing overpowering aftershave. | 0:06:49 | 0:06:53 | |
And, what's more, the reason he's wearing overpowering aftershave | 0:06:53 | 0:06:57 | |
is he hasn't bothered to shower. | 0:06:57 | 0:06:59 | |
-Early morning, this is not a good look. -Mmm. | 0:07:00 | 0:07:02 | |
And it got me thinking about aftershave, | 0:07:02 | 0:07:05 | |
and I don't know if any of you remember, | 0:07:05 | 0:07:07 | |
but do you remember when Brut 33 was the thing that everybody wore, | 0:07:07 | 0:07:10 | |
men and women? | 0:07:10 | 0:07:11 | |
But it was advertised by Henry Cooper and Kevin Keegan, | 0:07:11 | 0:07:14 | |
neither of whom you could say were handsome chaps. | 0:07:14 | 0:07:18 | |
So people were obviously not wearing it because they thought | 0:07:19 | 0:07:22 | |
they could be like them - they just liked the smell. | 0:07:22 | 0:07:24 | |
But now, men put on things like, well, you know ... | 0:07:24 | 0:07:28 | |
David Beckham advertises it. | 0:07:28 | 0:07:30 | |
-Brad Pitt. -Mmm. | 0:07:30 | 0:07:32 | |
David Gandy. | 0:07:32 | 0:07:33 | |
Yes. | 0:07:34 | 0:07:35 | |
Frank Skinner. | 0:07:35 | 0:07:37 | |
No, I really... | 0:07:37 | 0:07:38 | |
I mean, really, who possibly can think they would be like them, | 0:07:38 | 0:07:42 | |
just because they wear that aftershave? | 0:07:42 | 0:07:44 | |
-It is so horrible. -I can... | 0:07:44 | 0:07:47 | |
I have to say, Heston is wearing a tinge of something. | 0:07:47 | 0:07:50 | |
I'm not quite sure. I think it's a very upmarket one. | 0:07:50 | 0:07:53 | |
I think it's one designed for, kind of, sexual allure. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:57 | |
I thought Heston would go for, sort of, salt and vinegar. | 0:08:00 | 0:08:03 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:08:03 | 0:08:05 | |
I tell you what, I've always loved... I've seen women do this. | 0:08:07 | 0:08:12 | |
This is one of my favourites. | 0:08:12 | 0:08:13 | |
-I always thought that you did a bit on the wrist... -Nah. -..with cologne. | 0:08:13 | 0:08:18 | |
But I've seen women do this. | 0:08:18 | 0:08:20 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:08:20 | 0:08:22 | |
I love that! I love that! | 0:08:22 | 0:08:24 | |
I like to look - I've played this game with friends. | 0:08:28 | 0:08:31 | |
Celebrities. | 0:08:31 | 0:08:33 | |
Which male celebrities do you think slap on a lot of old cologne, | 0:08:33 | 0:08:38 | |
just from looking at them? | 0:08:38 | 0:08:39 | |
-Daniel Craig. -Daniel Craig, very probably. | 0:08:39 | 0:08:42 | |
-Paul Hollywood. -Yes. | 0:08:42 | 0:08:44 | |
-Ooh, yes. -I think that's a good call. Yes. | 0:08:44 | 0:08:47 | |
I've always thought Pierce Brosnan. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:49 | |
-Yeah. -Ooh. | 0:08:49 | 0:08:52 | |
That slightly squinty eyes is him thinking, "Phew!" | 0:08:52 | 0:08:56 | |
See, how many men in the audience wear aftershave? | 0:09:01 | 0:09:04 | |
None! | 0:09:04 | 0:09:06 | |
Come on. | 0:09:06 | 0:09:07 | |
I'm sorry. That's just not true, is it? | 0:09:07 | 0:09:09 | |
-How many wear cologne? -Whoo! | 0:09:09 | 0:09:12 | |
That man wears cologne. Have you got it on now? | 0:09:12 | 0:09:15 | |
I'm just going to check this guy out. | 0:09:15 | 0:09:17 | |
You look like a dog greeting someone! | 0:09:21 | 0:09:24 | |
Not quite. | 0:09:27 | 0:09:28 | |
I couldn't smell a damn thing. You've been done. | 0:09:30 | 0:09:33 | |
Have you got the word "cologne" mixed up with the word "lager"? | 0:09:33 | 0:09:37 | |
I think men either wear cologne or read books. | 0:09:42 | 0:09:45 | |
-There's no crossover at all... -Yeah. -..between them. | 0:09:45 | 0:09:48 | |
-I'll use a balm, but I can't... -No! | 0:09:48 | 0:09:52 | |
The idea of having a fragrance... | 0:09:52 | 0:09:54 | |
-Do you put a face cream on? -Face cream? -Yeah. | 0:09:54 | 0:09:57 | |
-What, as in moisturiser? -Yeah. -Yeah, unscented! | 0:09:57 | 0:10:00 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:10:00 | 0:10:02 | |
And even then only if I'm about to swim the Channel. | 0:10:02 | 0:10:06 | |
I tell you what the worst ever slogan for any man's smelly thing, | 0:10:07 | 0:10:13 | |
was when they brought out the 007 brand. | 0:10:13 | 0:10:16 | |
They cashed in on, you know, James Bond being absolutely massive. | 0:10:16 | 0:10:20 | |
Watch out for their lovely slogan. | 0:10:20 | 0:10:24 | |
If your man lives for excitement, give him...007. | 0:10:30 | 0:10:36 | |
There's a 007 gift set for every assignment. | 0:10:36 | 0:10:39 | |
This one packs the full line, | 0:10:39 | 0:10:41 | |
including 007 aftershave, hairdressing and cologne. | 0:10:41 | 0:10:44 | |
That's 007, | 0:10:44 | 0:10:46 | |
for the licence to kill... | 0:10:46 | 0:10:48 | |
women. | 0:10:48 | 0:10:49 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:10:49 | 0:10:51 | |
-I rest my case! -Yes! | 0:10:54 | 0:10:57 | |
-"Licence" spelt wrong. -Yes. | 0:10:58 | 0:11:01 | |
I'm glad that's your only objection! | 0:11:01 | 0:11:03 | |
OK, so let's see what Heston has gone for. | 0:11:05 | 0:11:09 | |
People that put milk in tea first. | 0:11:13 | 0:11:15 | |
-Me! -Oh, I got a "me" then. That's a good start. | 0:11:15 | 0:11:18 | |
One bloke. | 0:11:18 | 0:11:20 | |
What's the problem? | 0:11:20 | 0:11:21 | |
I have to say that I am one of these people. | 0:11:21 | 0:11:24 | |
Where do I start? | 0:11:24 | 0:11:25 | |
If someone is going to whack a teabag in a mug, | 0:11:25 | 0:11:28 | |
and you pour milk in first, | 0:11:28 | 0:11:30 | |
it doesn't pull out the flavour of the teabag as much. | 0:11:30 | 0:11:33 | |
You've had that. | 0:11:33 | 0:11:34 | |
Yeah, because it's not boiling. | 0:11:34 | 0:11:36 | |
Tea, cold milk, tea, pour the water in. | 0:11:36 | 0:11:38 | |
The water is not hot enough to start with, which is where it comes from. | 0:11:38 | 0:11:41 | |
It originates when tea was... | 0:11:41 | 0:11:44 | |
So, Cutty Sark days, that was what the Cutty Sark did. | 0:11:44 | 0:11:47 | |
It transported tea. | 0:11:47 | 0:11:49 | |
-Biggest taxes in Britain at the time were on tea. -Yes. | 0:11:49 | 0:11:52 | |
We've gone into the history of tea here, which is... | 0:11:52 | 0:11:55 | |
But what happened was it was considered... | 0:11:55 | 0:11:57 | |
They might not look like they've got homes, but many of them have. | 0:11:57 | 0:12:00 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:12:00 | 0:12:02 | |
-Because tea was a prized thing. -Yes. | 0:12:02 | 0:12:06 | |
It was drunk in china cups, pure bone china cups, | 0:12:06 | 0:12:09 | |
and they were incredibly delicate. | 0:12:09 | 0:12:11 | |
So if the water was too hot and you poured it into the cup they'd break. | 0:12:11 | 0:12:14 | |
-I see. -So what they did was pour a bit of milk in first, | 0:12:14 | 0:12:17 | |
to protect the cup from breaking, and that's where it came from. | 0:12:17 | 0:12:22 | |
But I always feel I'm giving the teabag a bit of a treat | 0:12:22 | 0:12:25 | |
to put it in milk. | 0:12:25 | 0:12:27 | |
It's a bit like, you know Cleopatra used to bathe in asses' milk? | 0:12:27 | 0:12:31 | |
I see it lying there like that. | 0:12:31 | 0:12:33 | |
I get very involved with, you know if I ever use, like, | 0:12:33 | 0:12:37 | |
soluble tablets, I always feel for them, because I think | 0:12:37 | 0:12:41 | |
they're coming out the packet and think, "Wow, this looks great. | 0:12:41 | 0:12:44 | |
"Oh, swimming. Argh!" | 0:12:44 | 0:12:46 | |
I also find, if you don't do that, if you put the milk into the tea, | 0:12:48 | 0:12:53 | |
-you get that sort of scummy stuff on the surface. -No, you don't. | 0:12:53 | 0:12:58 | |
-You really do. -If you put warm milk in... | 0:12:58 | 0:13:00 | |
I proved this today. Other people doubted me. | 0:13:00 | 0:13:02 | |
This was the surface of my tea, having put the milk in second. | 0:13:02 | 0:13:06 | |
-No, no. -That is true. That's real. | 0:13:06 | 0:13:08 | |
Every morning I make a cup of tea. | 0:13:08 | 0:13:10 | |
I drink probably 10, 15 cups a day. | 0:13:10 | 0:13:12 | |
-Do you? -Up to 20. I've never ever had that. | 0:13:12 | 0:13:16 | |
Everyone has gone quiet! | 0:13:16 | 0:13:17 | |
-You've never had that? -It's like a revelation. | 0:13:17 | 0:13:20 | |
It's like you've just said you've got a drug addiction. | 0:13:20 | 0:13:23 | |
Everyone went, "Oh, my God. Heston's on 15 a day". | 0:13:23 | 0:13:26 | |
This has become an intervention now. | 0:13:26 | 0:13:28 | |
What do you see in that? | 0:13:30 | 0:13:31 | |
I see the Very Hungry Caterpillar flying over Cyprus. | 0:13:31 | 0:13:36 | |
That's what I see. | 0:13:36 | 0:13:38 | |
How do you know - when you pour the tea out of a teapot, | 0:13:39 | 0:13:42 | |
if somebody puts the milk in first, | 0:13:42 | 0:13:44 | |
you don't know how strong the tea is. | 0:13:44 | 0:13:46 | |
-That's the excitement! -If you put it in first... | 0:13:46 | 0:13:48 | |
The whole excitement is guessing how much milk to put in. | 0:13:48 | 0:13:52 | |
You know, some people bungee jump... | 0:13:52 | 0:13:54 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:13:54 | 0:13:56 | |
Some people have a gap year in war-torn territories. | 0:13:56 | 0:13:59 | |
I put the milk in first. | 0:13:59 | 0:14:00 | |
Can I make a point as well? | 0:14:01 | 0:14:03 | |
You can walk into the cheapest, nastiest cafe in Britain | 0:14:03 | 0:14:06 | |
and get a beautiful cup of tea. | 0:14:06 | 0:14:08 | |
If you walk into a posh restaurant, | 0:14:08 | 0:14:10 | |
like what Heston Blumenthal has, it's always horrible. | 0:14:10 | 0:14:13 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:14:13 | 0:14:17 | |
Don't get me wrong. I've been to Heston's restaurant, | 0:14:19 | 0:14:22 | |
and the food is absolutely incredible. | 0:14:22 | 0:14:24 | |
Absolutely incredible. | 0:14:24 | 0:14:26 | |
But, you know, I didn't even bother ordering the tea. | 0:14:26 | 0:14:28 | |
I knew it would be terrible. | 0:14:28 | 0:14:30 | |
You get tea in some posh restaurants. | 0:14:30 | 0:14:33 | |
They bring hot water here, teabag here. | 0:14:33 | 0:14:36 | |
It's like a kit! | 0:14:36 | 0:14:38 | |
It's not IKEA. | 0:14:40 | 0:14:42 | |
I want them to make it for me, is the idea. | 0:14:42 | 0:14:44 | |
Do you wish you had someone to do it, a flunky to do it for you? | 0:14:44 | 0:14:48 | |
Well, if I'm in a restaurant, paying, | 0:14:48 | 0:14:51 | |
I think somebody could knock it together for me before it arrives. | 0:14:51 | 0:14:54 | |
They don't bring me raw pork chops and a Calor Gas stove. | 0:14:54 | 0:14:59 | |
-That would be his place. -Ah, that's... | 0:15:00 | 0:15:02 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:15:02 | 0:15:06 | |
I have some tea here which I'd like us all to try. | 0:15:06 | 0:15:10 | |
This tea is what the Chinese call pearl tea. And can I tell you... | 0:15:10 | 0:15:16 | |
that it is made from the faeces of moth larvae. | 0:15:16 | 0:15:22 | |
I'll stop you before you pour that - I'm OK. | 0:15:23 | 0:15:26 | |
Is the milk made of wasp semen or something? | 0:15:26 | 0:15:31 | |
Yeah. | 0:15:32 | 0:15:33 | |
You should have seen how much they stung me for that. | 0:15:33 | 0:15:36 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:15:36 | 0:15:38 | |
-Can you wait so that we all drink... -Oh, yeah! I'll wait! | 0:15:41 | 0:15:44 | |
-..so that we all drink together. -I'll wait a very long time. | 0:15:44 | 0:15:47 | |
1984. | 0:15:47 | 0:15:49 | |
Moth larvae faeces. | 0:15:49 | 0:15:50 | |
-OK, ready? -Ready. | 0:15:50 | 0:15:53 | |
Good health! Let's do it! | 0:15:53 | 0:15:54 | |
Here goes. | 0:15:54 | 0:15:56 | |
KIRSTY GAGS | 0:15:57 | 0:15:59 | |
Oh, God... Cut to me in court saying "When I handed her the tea, she seemed perfectly well." | 0:15:59 | 0:16:05 | |
This is lukewarm. | 0:16:06 | 0:16:08 | |
Yes, well...it's been out of the moth for some time. | 0:16:09 | 0:16:12 | |
What do you think? I'll come and get them. What do you think, James? | 0:16:16 | 0:16:21 | |
-It's smoky. -It's a bit like damp wood. | 0:16:21 | 0:16:23 | |
If you go for a walk in the woods. | 0:16:23 | 0:16:25 | |
-Not as bad as you'd expect, actually. -No! | 0:16:25 | 0:16:27 | |
You bloody loved it! | 0:16:27 | 0:16:28 | |
Yeah, I think it's fabulous. You did try it, Kirsty? | 0:16:28 | 0:16:32 | |
I think the one with rabbit faeces is better. | 0:16:32 | 0:16:35 | |
Yes, do you like one lump or two? | 0:16:35 | 0:16:39 | |
My mum would put two spoonfuls of sugar in every cup of tea | 0:16:45 | 0:16:49 | |
she ever made, and if anyone came round the house she'd give them | 0:16:49 | 0:16:52 | |
a cup of tea and say, "Do you take sugar?" | 0:16:52 | 0:16:54 | |
and if they said no, she'd say, "Don't stir it". | 0:16:54 | 0:16:57 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:16:57 | 0:16:59 | |
Anyway, I don't feel you argued your case as well as you could | 0:16:59 | 0:17:06 | |
about milk going in first. | 0:17:06 | 0:17:08 | |
It's something I've done for a long time, | 0:17:08 | 0:17:10 | |
and I thought you were dismissive of my surface scum. | 0:17:10 | 0:17:14 | |
That was an old cup of tea. | 0:17:14 | 0:17:15 | |
And, er, geese. | 0:17:17 | 0:17:20 | |
With geese, they are nasty little things, | 0:17:20 | 0:17:23 | |
but the fact that they have all these magical things | 0:17:23 | 0:17:26 | |
which allows them to fly in a V formation, | 0:17:26 | 0:17:28 | |
I'll forgive them almost anything for that. | 0:17:28 | 0:17:31 | |
The Nazis were organised! | 0:17:31 | 0:17:33 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:17:33 | 0:17:36 | |
Look, it's too late to change your choice now. | 0:17:42 | 0:17:45 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:17:45 | 0:17:47 | |
But, I don't understand why men need to smell like these strange, | 0:17:49 | 0:17:55 | |
weird musk and spirulina mixtures. | 0:17:55 | 0:17:59 | |
It's just wrong. | 0:17:59 | 0:18:01 | |
I am going to put men who wear too much aftershave into Room 101. | 0:18:01 | 0:18:06 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:18:06 | 0:18:08 | |
OK. | 0:18:17 | 0:18:18 | |
BELL RINGS | 0:18:18 | 0:18:20 | |
What is up Kirsty's sleeve? | 0:18:20 | 0:18:23 | |
Plastic flowers. | 0:18:26 | 0:18:27 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:18:27 | 0:18:29 | |
Oh, please! | 0:18:29 | 0:18:31 | |
Plastic flowers are a total failure of imagination. | 0:18:34 | 0:18:38 | |
They remind me of every bad bed and breakfast I've ever been in. | 0:18:38 | 0:18:41 | |
Plastic flowers, nylon sheets, | 0:18:41 | 0:18:44 | |
and in the lavatory, over the loo roll, | 0:18:44 | 0:18:47 | |
a knitted lady with a Barbie coming out the top. | 0:18:47 | 0:18:51 | |
That's what they represent. | 0:18:51 | 0:18:53 | |
And I've been in a crematorium where there's plastic flowers. | 0:18:53 | 0:18:56 | |
A friend of mine has been at a wedding where she was a bridesmaid | 0:18:56 | 0:19:00 | |
and there were plastic flowers! | 0:19:00 | 0:19:02 | |
I mean, they're just so, so... | 0:19:02 | 0:19:05 | |
-I can't even be in a room with them. I find them offensive. -Wow. | 0:19:05 | 0:19:10 | |
I'm sure you're not... | 0:19:12 | 0:19:14 | |
You're not including these, are you? | 0:19:16 | 0:19:18 | |
But they do a dance, don't they? | 0:19:20 | 0:19:22 | |
They'll dance to me. They'll dance to me talking. | 0:19:22 | 0:19:24 | |
They'll dance to me doing the William Tell Overture | 0:19:24 | 0:19:27 | |
on my fingers and thumbs. Here we go. | 0:19:27 | 0:19:30 | |
HE CLICKS AND CLAPS RHYTHM | 0:19:30 | 0:19:33 | |
Now, come on! | 0:19:36 | 0:19:37 | |
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING | 0:19:37 | 0:19:40 | |
Loves the applause, that one. | 0:19:46 | 0:19:47 | |
I'm switching this off. It's starting to terrify me. | 0:19:52 | 0:19:54 | |
They just seem incredibly tired and forlorn and sad. | 0:19:54 | 0:19:58 | |
I think that's what I hate about plastic flowers more than anything. | 0:19:58 | 0:20:01 | |
They are just sad, and saddos have them. | 0:20:01 | 0:20:04 | |
AUDIENCE: Ooh! | 0:20:04 | 0:20:06 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:20:06 | 0:20:10 | |
What about waxed fruit? How do you feel about that? | 0:20:11 | 0:20:14 | |
I don't like waxed fruit. | 0:20:14 | 0:20:16 | |
Consistent. | 0:20:16 | 0:20:17 | |
See? | 0:20:19 | 0:20:20 | |
I think plastic flowers... | 0:20:20 | 0:20:22 | |
There are some nasty ones, but some of them can be lovely, I think. | 0:20:22 | 0:20:26 | |
Which ones? | 0:20:26 | 0:20:27 | |
What about these on a stag night? | 0:20:30 | 0:20:32 | |
-Come on! -I give you that. | 0:20:34 | 0:20:36 | |
You couldn't have real ones, they'd get covered in vomit. | 0:20:36 | 0:20:38 | |
AUDIENCE: Eurgh! They'd perish. | 0:20:38 | 0:20:40 | |
How do you feel... This is the key question for me, | 0:20:43 | 0:20:46 | |
because I'm kind of, you know when you go to the greengrocers, | 0:20:46 | 0:20:50 | |
and you get that synthetic grass with the vegetables on it, | 0:20:50 | 0:20:56 | |
just to make the vegetables and fruit feel at home. | 0:20:56 | 0:20:59 | |
What do you think about that, Kirsty? | 0:20:59 | 0:21:02 | |
I don't like that. | 0:21:02 | 0:21:03 | |
-You don't like this stuff? -No. I don't like that. | 0:21:03 | 0:21:07 | |
-I like this stuff so much. -Oh, no. | 0:21:07 | 0:21:10 | |
No, really. | 0:21:10 | 0:21:11 | |
I don't think you'll like this then, Kirsty. | 0:21:11 | 0:21:13 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:21:13 | 0:21:16 | |
What do you think? | 0:21:27 | 0:21:28 | |
-There's a certain je ne c'est quoi. -Feel that. Come on! | 0:21:28 | 0:21:31 | |
Yeah. Eh? | 0:21:31 | 0:21:33 | |
Imagine a couple of parsnips lying across that. | 0:21:33 | 0:21:36 | |
That's a chat-up line I haven't used before. | 0:21:38 | 0:21:41 | |
-She will not be won over, Kirsty. -I will not be won over. | 0:21:43 | 0:21:46 | |
I sense that. | 0:21:46 | 0:21:47 | |
Right. You argue your case well there. | 0:21:47 | 0:21:49 | |
So, let us go to Heston's choice. | 0:21:49 | 0:21:53 | |
-It's food that doesn't taste as good as you remember. -Oh. | 0:21:56 | 0:22:01 | |
We have foods that we used to love as kids, | 0:22:01 | 0:22:04 | |
and then sometimes you get to try them, | 0:22:04 | 0:22:07 | |
you've haven't tried them for years, and they just don't taste the same. | 0:22:07 | 0:22:10 | |
It's not necessarily about the food changing. | 0:22:10 | 0:22:14 | |
It's the fact that our memory, when we were a kid... | 0:22:14 | 0:22:17 | |
So, the excitement of an ice cream from an ice cream van, | 0:22:17 | 0:22:19 | |
-you know, we're that big, so everything seems massive. -Mmm. | 0:22:19 | 0:22:24 | |
And the same thing happens when you get older. | 0:22:24 | 0:22:26 | |
For example, you've got a long weekend and you go to | 0:22:26 | 0:22:28 | |
the Loire Valley, and you're sitting by the river with your missus | 0:22:28 | 0:22:32 | |
and you're having lunch and the sun is just shimmering on the water. | 0:22:32 | 0:22:35 | |
Grass is softly waving in the wind, in the warm breeze. | 0:22:35 | 0:22:38 | |
You paint a lovely picture. | 0:22:38 | 0:22:40 | |
And then you've got the ice bucket. The bottle goes in. | 0:22:40 | 0:22:44 | |
The chink of the ice cubes, pop of the cork, pour the wine, | 0:22:44 | 0:22:47 | |
and you taste it, and you go, | 0:22:47 | 0:22:49 | |
"My God, I've never tasted Muscadet like this before. | 0:22:49 | 0:22:52 | |
"It's fantastic." | 0:22:52 | 0:22:53 | |
So what do you do? | 0:22:53 | 0:22:55 | |
You buy 75 cases, | 0:22:55 | 0:22:56 | |
strap them to your car and then drive back. | 0:22:56 | 0:23:00 | |
And then you invite all your gastronomic friends | 0:23:00 | 0:23:03 | |
and your boss over and you think, | 0:23:03 | 0:23:04 | |
"This is going to surprise them so much", | 0:23:04 | 0:23:07 | |
and then you pour the wine and you taste it and go, "This is horrible". | 0:23:07 | 0:23:10 | |
That's like holiday romances. | 0:23:10 | 0:23:13 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:23:13 | 0:23:15 | |
Yes... | 0:23:17 | 0:23:18 | |
I don't invite the friends around, but I mean apart from that... | 0:23:18 | 0:23:23 | |
I don't drink, but I'm sure if I did drink now it wouldn't be like I... | 0:23:23 | 0:23:27 | |
Well, I don't remember it, so ... | 0:23:27 | 0:23:29 | |
It's the same with the foods that you remember as a kid | 0:23:29 | 0:23:32 | |
that were so exciting. | 0:23:32 | 0:23:34 | |
You know, we just kind of assume that they've changed the food | 0:23:34 | 0:23:36 | |
-or they've changed the recipe. -Mmm. | 0:23:36 | 0:23:38 | |
But there's such a ritualization with food. | 0:23:38 | 0:23:40 | |
So if you look at, say, a Kit Kat, | 0:23:40 | 0:23:42 | |
-a Kit Kat used to have the silver foil round it. -Yeah. | 0:23:42 | 0:23:45 | |
And then the paper wrapper, and there was a whole ritual, | 0:23:45 | 0:23:48 | |
some people would rub their fingers over to get the imprint of "Kit Kat" | 0:23:48 | 0:23:51 | |
-through the foil. -Oh, yeah! | 0:23:51 | 0:23:52 | |
Or running your nail between the two and snapping it. | 0:23:52 | 0:23:55 | |
-Some people take the chocolate off first. -Me. | 0:23:55 | 0:23:58 | |
Can I say, children, | 0:23:58 | 0:23:59 | |
this is what middle-aged people talk about after you've gone to bed. | 0:23:59 | 0:24:04 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:24:04 | 0:24:06 | |
So you can change the taste of a food by the temperature of a room, | 0:24:06 | 0:24:10 | |
by the colour of the room, by the sounds you hear. | 0:24:10 | 0:24:13 | |
You can speed people's eating by up to 15% | 0:24:13 | 0:24:15 | |
by playing loud rock music. | 0:24:15 | 0:24:17 | |
That would explain Meat Loaf. | 0:24:17 | 0:24:19 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:24:19 | 0:24:23 | |
-I find that certain things, for example, Toblerone... -Yeah. | 0:24:24 | 0:24:29 | |
Toblerone are as dangerous now | 0:24:29 | 0:24:31 | |
as they were when I was eating them as a child. | 0:24:31 | 0:24:33 | |
I have never eaten a Toblerone without some bruising. | 0:24:33 | 0:24:36 | |
I actually got a finger wedged in a Toblerone, | 0:24:36 | 0:24:41 | |
between two adjacent pyramids. | 0:24:41 | 0:24:44 | |
Actually wedged there. | 0:24:44 | 0:24:46 | |
I had to wait for it to melt to get some... | 0:24:46 | 0:24:51 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:24:51 | 0:24:52 | |
Do you know about the bear? Toblerone bear? | 0:24:52 | 0:24:55 | |
Every single bar of Toblerone, there is a shadow of a bear. | 0:24:55 | 0:24:59 | |
-What? -Every single bar of Toblerone, every single bar, | 0:25:01 | 0:25:04 | |
there is a shadow of a bear. | 0:25:04 | 0:25:06 | |
I've eaten Toblerone all my life and I've never known that. | 0:25:06 | 0:25:09 | |
That's thrown you, hasn't it? | 0:25:11 | 0:25:13 | |
It's funny you should mention that, Heston, | 0:25:13 | 0:25:16 | |
because it just so happens | 0:25:16 | 0:25:18 | |
we have a picture of that very same phenomenon. | 0:25:18 | 0:25:20 | |
AUDIENCE: Ooh! | 0:25:22 | 0:25:25 | |
Yeah. | 0:25:25 | 0:25:27 | |
JAMES MIMICS EXPLOSION | 0:25:27 | 0:25:29 | |
So, what about James' choice? | 0:25:31 | 0:25:34 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:25:40 | 0:25:43 | |
I realise now I actually misread your choice. | 0:25:45 | 0:25:48 | |
-You can't not like the shot put, can you? -Oh, I can. | 0:25:55 | 0:25:58 | |
Who here is a fan of the shot put? | 0:25:58 | 0:26:00 | |
Whoo! Yay! | 0:26:00 | 0:26:01 | |
One guy... | 0:26:01 | 0:26:02 | |
and he's a liar. | 0:26:02 | 0:26:04 | |
Here's the problem. At the Olympics everyone does their stuff. | 0:26:06 | 0:26:09 | |
It's amazing - you see people doing things, you go, "I couldn't do that. | 0:26:09 | 0:26:12 | |
"That looks incredible". | 0:26:12 | 0:26:13 | |
The shot put, it just looks rubbish. | 0:26:13 | 0:26:16 | |
They throw it. | 0:26:16 | 0:26:17 | |
Literally, he's here, and he throws it, and it lands...there. | 0:26:17 | 0:26:21 | |
And I know it's heavy, but I've never held a shot put, | 0:26:23 | 0:26:26 | |
so I don't know how heavy it actually is, so I've got no context. | 0:26:26 | 0:26:29 | |
All I'm seeing on TV is someone throw a ball a little way. | 0:26:29 | 0:26:33 | |
There's a certain method, though. | 0:26:35 | 0:26:37 | |
You have to hold it tight to your chin and straighten the arm. | 0:26:37 | 0:26:40 | |
-Yeah, you've got to do that. -Yeah. | 0:26:40 | 0:26:41 | |
How's that fun? | 0:26:41 | 0:26:44 | |
The Berlin 1938 Olympics, got a big cheer every time. | 0:26:44 | 0:26:47 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:26:47 | 0:26:50 | |
Let's have a look. | 0:26:50 | 0:26:51 | |
This is a shot putter called Leila Rajabi. | 0:26:51 | 0:26:54 | |
I think she's the one on the right. | 0:26:55 | 0:26:58 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:26:58 | 0:27:01 | |
But you have to admire the amount of effort, surely, | 0:27:01 | 0:27:04 | |
that's going into that? | 0:27:04 | 0:27:06 | |
I'm sure, as an Olympian, or as a shot putter, | 0:27:06 | 0:27:09 | |
-it is very hard and you've got to train a long time for it. -Yes. | 0:27:09 | 0:27:13 | |
But as a spectator, no-one is watching that going, | 0:27:13 | 0:27:17 | |
"Oh! | 0:27:17 | 0:27:19 | |
"Nearly as good as last time that man threw the ball a little way". | 0:27:19 | 0:27:23 | |
On the subject of the weight, for a man, the shot put is 7.2kg, | 0:27:25 | 0:27:30 | |
which is...you'll like this. | 0:27:30 | 0:27:32 | |
It's the size of an average size dachshund. | 0:27:32 | 0:27:35 | |
Now that sounds much more enjoyable. | 0:27:37 | 0:27:39 | |
Yeah. Instantly a better sport! | 0:27:39 | 0:27:41 | |
Throw it into a big hotdog roll. | 0:27:41 | 0:27:44 | |
And the female one is 4kg, | 0:27:46 | 0:27:48 | |
which is the equivalent to the average weight of a domestic cat. | 0:27:48 | 0:27:54 | |
I like that. | 0:27:54 | 0:27:56 | |
-A domestic cat would work better in the hammer. -Yeah. | 0:27:56 | 0:27:58 | |
If you had the room, of course. | 0:27:58 | 0:28:00 | |
What I wish we had, of course, what would be ideal, | 0:28:03 | 0:28:06 | |
is if we had some fabulous shot putter to come on. | 0:28:06 | 0:28:09 | |
Say, the only British woman to have ever won | 0:28:09 | 0:28:12 | |
-an international shot put medal. -Oh, Jesus. | 0:28:12 | 0:28:15 | |
Someone like, er, Sophie McKinna. Here she is, Sophie McKinna! | 0:28:15 | 0:28:18 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:28:18 | 0:28:21 | |
This is James. | 0:28:30 | 0:28:32 | |
Hello, Sophie McKinna. | 0:28:32 | 0:28:33 | |
Hi, James. Nice to meet you. | 0:28:33 | 0:28:35 | |
What we thought is the best way to settle this | 0:28:35 | 0:28:38 | |
is if you and Sophie have a contest. | 0:28:38 | 0:28:42 | |
Great idea! | 0:28:42 | 0:28:44 | |
You're all right with a big lead weight flying over? | 0:28:44 | 0:28:47 | |
No, what we are going to do, we're going to use a tangerine, | 0:28:48 | 0:28:52 | |
a small tangerine. | 0:28:52 | 0:28:54 | |
Are you all right with chucking a tangerine? | 0:28:54 | 0:28:56 | |
-Of course, yeah. Give it a go. -You..! | 0:28:56 | 0:28:58 | |
Hold on. | 0:29:00 | 0:29:02 | |
I have a... I'm going to let you choose your weapons. | 0:29:02 | 0:29:06 | |
What we need is a shot circle. | 0:29:06 | 0:29:08 | |
-You know the thing that they swing...? -Yeah. | 0:29:08 | 0:29:11 | |
Here it comes. | 0:29:11 | 0:29:12 | |
I'm afraid to go anywhere near her because I feel I've made her angry. | 0:29:12 | 0:29:15 | |
So if anyone can catch the tangerine they'll get a special prize. | 0:29:17 | 0:29:21 | |
-Would you like to choose your ... -You first. | 0:29:26 | 0:29:29 | |
Choose your tangerine. | 0:29:29 | 0:29:30 | |
Oh, come on. | 0:29:31 | 0:29:32 | |
He's weighing them! | 0:29:32 | 0:29:34 | |
Yeah, straight in, Sophie. | 0:29:34 | 0:29:35 | |
-Have I got to do the...? -Yeah. | 0:29:37 | 0:29:38 | |
-Do you want a bit of advice from Sophie? -Yeah, give me a pointer. | 0:29:38 | 0:29:41 | |
-Are you right-handed? -Yeah. | 0:29:41 | 0:29:43 | |
-So put your left foot against the stop board, like that. -Yeah. | 0:29:43 | 0:29:46 | |
Then stand your right foot astride. | 0:29:46 | 0:29:48 | |
Bring it forward a little bit to mine. Yeah. | 0:29:48 | 0:29:50 | |
Then tangerine tight in your neck. | 0:29:50 | 0:29:52 | |
-There? -And then... Yeah. ..bend your right knee, | 0:29:52 | 0:29:55 | |
and bring your shoulders back to me. No, like this. | 0:29:55 | 0:29:57 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:29:57 | 0:30:00 | |
And your head this way as well. | 0:30:01 | 0:30:03 | |
-Yeah. -And then obviously turn and throw. | 0:30:03 | 0:30:06 | |
Here we go. Get ready to catch. | 0:30:06 | 0:30:09 | |
OK. | 0:30:09 | 0:30:10 | |
Ready? | 0:30:10 | 0:30:12 | |
Whoa! | 0:30:14 | 0:30:16 | |
That was pretty good. | 0:30:16 | 0:30:18 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:30:18 | 0:30:20 | |
Who did that land next to? | 0:30:23 | 0:30:25 | |
Yes. | 0:30:25 | 0:30:26 | |
This lady. So, you're the official marker. | 0:30:26 | 0:30:28 | |
Thank you so much. So it's over to Sophie. | 0:30:30 | 0:30:33 | |
Feel a bit pressured now. | 0:30:35 | 0:30:36 | |
Whoa! | 0:30:38 | 0:30:40 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:30:40 | 0:30:43 | |
Has it actually landed yet? | 0:30:53 | 0:30:55 | |
I'm hoping you two can shake hands and agree to differ on this one. | 0:30:56 | 0:30:59 | |
And a massive hand for Sophie McKinna! | 0:30:59 | 0:31:01 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:31:01 | 0:31:03 | |
Cheers, Sophie. Thanks a lot. | 0:31:03 | 0:31:05 | |
Anyway, I think you'd agree after that | 0:31:17 | 0:31:19 | |
we can't possibly put the shot put in. | 0:31:19 | 0:31:21 | |
I mean, that was just a spectacular thing, | 0:31:21 | 0:31:24 | |
and it's just made me a big fan of the sport now. | 0:31:24 | 0:31:27 | |
Um, food that doesn't... Yeah, it's difficult, that, isn't it? | 0:31:28 | 0:31:32 | |
Because it is a terrible disappointment. | 0:31:32 | 0:31:34 | |
I don't think I can put plastic flowers in, | 0:31:34 | 0:31:36 | |
because I remember when they were invented, | 0:31:36 | 0:31:39 | |
or when it seemed like they got popular, | 0:31:39 | 0:31:41 | |
and, you know, they were in chip shops and things. | 0:31:41 | 0:31:43 | |
Places where normal flowers would have perished. | 0:31:43 | 0:31:46 | |
I'm going to put food that doesn't taste like we remember it tasting | 0:31:46 | 0:31:51 | |
into Room 101. | 0:31:51 | 0:31:52 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:31:52 | 0:31:55 | |
OK, we've just got time to hear a bonus choice. | 0:32:04 | 0:32:07 | |
Let's see what's James has gone for. | 0:32:07 | 0:32:09 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:32:15 | 0:32:16 | |
I know it's going to split people, | 0:32:20 | 0:32:23 | |
but that's part of the reason I hate it. | 0:32:23 | 0:32:25 | |
There's loads of songs I don't like - it's fine, | 0:32:25 | 0:32:28 | |
but I'm going to hear that song for the rest of my life until I'm dead, | 0:32:28 | 0:32:31 | |
and I don't like that. | 0:32:31 | 0:32:33 | |
I don't like the fact that it will always come up at weddings, in pubs, | 0:32:33 | 0:32:37 | |
everywhere. And I hate it when I'm in a bar or something | 0:32:37 | 0:32:40 | |
and it's on and everyone's dancing | 0:32:40 | 0:32:42 | |
and the DJ puts the volume down on the chorus | 0:32:42 | 0:32:44 | |
and everyone goes, "Woh-oh!" You bunch of idiots. | 0:32:44 | 0:32:47 | |
Why are you all doing that? None of you love it. | 0:32:47 | 0:32:50 | |
It's no-one's favourite song. You've all been brainwashed | 0:32:50 | 0:32:52 | |
into going along with Livin' On A Prayer when it comes on | 0:32:52 | 0:32:55 | |
and everyone is just...it's so bad. | 0:32:55 | 0:32:57 | |
Oh, man, I hate it. Just put it in now. I hate it so much. | 0:32:57 | 0:33:01 | |
Can I ask you a question? | 0:33:01 | 0:33:04 | |
Normally, the DJs you've experienced, | 0:33:04 | 0:33:07 | |
-do they just go down for the, "Woh-oh"? -Yeah. | 0:33:07 | 0:33:10 | |
Or do they stay out for "Livin' On A Prayer" as well? | 0:33:10 | 0:33:12 | |
They go down for the "Woh-oh" bit | 0:33:12 | 0:33:14 | |
and then everyone goes along with "Livin' On A Prayer." | 0:33:14 | 0:33:17 | |
I've always thought the true test of a DJ is Hi Ho Silver Lining. | 0:33:17 | 0:33:22 | |
-Yeah. -It's the one that doesn't cut off the "It's", | 0:33:22 | 0:33:26 | |
so you want the "And it's..." And then you... Let's try it. We've actually got that here. | 0:33:26 | 0:33:30 | |
I hope you're going to join in on this. | 0:33:30 | 0:33:33 | |
# Saying everything is groovy... # | 0:33:33 | 0:33:36 | |
-Here we go. -"..when you're tyres are flat, and it's... | 0:33:36 | 0:33:41 | |
ALL: # Hi ho silver lining... # | 0:33:41 | 0:33:45 | |
-It's what people love! -# ..and away you go, oh, baby... | 0:33:45 | 0:33:48 | |
All right, all right. | 0:33:48 | 0:33:50 | |
I accept that song. That's a nice song. | 0:33:50 | 0:33:53 | |
-Well, let's try it with Living On A Prayer, shall we? -Oh, my God. | 0:33:53 | 0:33:56 | |
Here we go. | 0:33:56 | 0:33:59 | |
# Oh, we're halfway there | 0:33:59 | 0:34:03 | |
ALL: # Woh-oh, Livin' On A Prayer. # | 0:34:03 | 0:34:07 | |
They all look like a bunch of idiots! | 0:34:07 | 0:34:10 | |
-You can't call them a bunch of idiots! -A bunch of idiots. | 0:34:10 | 0:34:14 | |
I looked out when you did Hi Ho Silver Lining, | 0:34:14 | 0:34:16 | |
you looked happy. There was happiness in your eyes. | 0:34:16 | 0:34:19 | |
When you did that, there was a look of, "Oh, kill me now." | 0:34:19 | 0:34:21 | |
None of you know anyone who used to work on the docks. | 0:34:21 | 0:34:24 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:34:24 | 0:34:27 | |
Well, can I try one more with the audience? | 0:34:27 | 0:34:29 | |
If they can do this one I'll be really impressed. | 0:34:29 | 0:34:32 | |
THE ARCHERS THEME TUNE | 0:34:32 | 0:34:35 | |
THEY HUM ALONG Very good! | 0:34:36 | 0:34:39 | |
I wish that was what was played. | 0:34:39 | 0:34:42 | |
I'd be in a club or a bar and they'd play that for once. | 0:34:42 | 0:34:47 | |
I'd go, "Yeah, not what I thought it was going to be." | 0:34:47 | 0:34:50 | |
Every time Livin' On A Prayer comes on, it's like, "Oh, here we are again." | 0:34:50 | 0:34:54 | |
But what creates anthems? I mean, think of some of the great anthems. | 0:34:54 | 0:34:57 | |
Chelsea Daggers, played at every single football match in Scotland. | 0:34:57 | 0:35:02 | |
But then they play Do A Deer. | 0:35:02 | 0:35:05 | |
-Yes! -What is that about?! | 0:35:05 | 0:35:07 | |
No, it's very hard. | 0:35:07 | 0:35:09 | |
I think to write a really good football anthem is almost impossible. | 0:35:09 | 0:35:13 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:35:13 | 0:35:16 | |
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING | 0:35:16 | 0:35:18 | |
We have a clip of someone who disagrees with you. | 0:35:22 | 0:35:25 | |
This is from an American basketball game | 0:35:25 | 0:35:29 | |
and you know when they pan around the crowd? | 0:35:29 | 0:35:33 | |
This is a man who I think probably likes Livin' On A Prayer. | 0:35:33 | 0:35:37 | |
INTRO TO LIVIN' ON A PRAYER | 0:35:38 | 0:35:40 | |
# Tommy used to work on the docks | 0:35:45 | 0:35:48 | |
# Union's been on strike He's down on his luck | 0:35:48 | 0:35:52 | |
# It's tough... | 0:35:52 | 0:35:53 | |
# So tough | 0:35:56 | 0:35:58 | |
# We've got each other and that's a lot | 0:35:58 | 0:36:02 | |
# For love we'll give it a shot | 0:36:02 | 0:36:06 | |
# Whoa, we're half way there | 0:36:06 | 0:36:10 | |
# Woh-oh, livin' on a prayer. # | 0:36:10 | 0:36:14 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:36:14 | 0:36:16 | |
Come on! | 0:36:18 | 0:36:20 | |
That is fantastic! | 0:36:20 | 0:36:22 | |
He even looks like me! | 0:36:22 | 0:36:25 | |
-I don't like this song at all. -Thank you. | 0:36:25 | 0:36:29 | |
But I watched that bloke and there was one bit when I wanted to pluck an apple. | 0:36:29 | 0:36:32 | |
Of a tree. | 0:36:32 | 0:36:34 | |
That's the bad thing about it as well - | 0:36:34 | 0:36:36 | |
even if you don't like it, it can somehow get you. | 0:36:36 | 0:36:39 | |
It's like when people slow down on the other side of the motorway | 0:36:39 | 0:36:41 | |
-when there's a traffic jam or an accident... -Yeah, yeah. | 0:36:41 | 0:36:44 | |
You know it's wrong, but they can't help doing it. | 0:36:44 | 0:36:46 | |
So you're comparing that with a man... | 0:36:46 | 0:36:49 | |
dancing to a song in an exuberant fashion? | 0:36:49 | 0:36:52 | |
I think I'd probably say it's as bad. | 0:36:52 | 0:36:54 | |
Yeah, it is... I'll go along with Heston - | 0:36:54 | 0:36:56 | |
it's as bad as an accident on a motorway. | 0:36:56 | 0:36:59 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:36:59 | 0:37:00 | |
OK, what I gather from this is you don't like Livin' On A Prayer. | 0:37:01 | 0:37:06 | |
I can't stand Livin' On A Prayer, | 0:37:06 | 0:37:09 | |
but I didn't realise it until you talked about it. | 0:37:09 | 0:37:14 | |
So although it's a bit eccentric, | 0:37:14 | 0:37:15 | |
I am going to put the song Livin' On A Prayer into Room 101. | 0:37:15 | 0:37:20 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:37:20 | 0:37:22 | |
That brings us to the end of the show. | 0:37:32 | 0:37:34 | |
Well done, James, you were this week's most persuasive guest, | 0:37:34 | 0:37:37 | |
so you are this week's winner. | 0:37:37 | 0:37:38 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:37:38 | 0:37:40 | |
Thanks very much, James Acaster, Kirsty Wark | 0:37:40 | 0:37:43 | |
and Heston Blumenthal, and thank you. Good night! | 0:37:43 | 0:37:45 | |
Subtitles by Ericsson | 0:37:50 | 0:37:53 | |
Anyone want a tangerine? | 0:38:12 | 0:38:14 |