The Commute


The Commute

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In Northern Ireland we love our cars.

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Everybody's in a rush.

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More of us choose to drive rather than use public transport to get to work...

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HORN BLOWS

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..than anywhere else in the UK.

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-Ah!

-It's the biggest drive in the country.

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-BOTH:

-Ohh!

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BOTH LAUGH

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-RADIO:

-'And finally in news,

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'a weather warning for Northern Ireland has been upgraded

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'as a so-called weather bomb

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is set to batter parts of the United Kingdom.'

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We are in for the depths of winter.

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It's going to be solid soon.

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Brr!

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It's quite cold, isn't it?

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-Yeah.

-It's getting colder.

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Well, the weather forecast said this morning

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this could be the coldest winter we've had in years.

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Wipe that wee window.

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-Wipe that wee window?

-Just with your finger.

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I don't want to get my hands all...

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SHE SIGHS

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-The coldest?

-The coldest winter we've had in years.

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-This year?

-No, in years.

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-This winter is going to be the coldest.

-This winter is going to be the coldest one, yeah?

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-Yeah.

-In years? OK.

-Yeah.

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# Shut up and drive, drive, drive

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# Shut up and drive. #

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-Big fancy car there, isn't it?

-Yes.

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-Comes he can't drive it.

-No.

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-That's a wonderful Christmas tree.

-Isn't it?

-Yeah.

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I love that Christmas tree.

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-It's a load of balls.

-You're right, it is a load of balls.

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No, I don't mean like that there, I mean...that's all it is.

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# Shut up and drive, drive, drive

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# Shut up and drive... #

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The next one is a wreath for Loganberry

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-on Thursday which I'll need your help with.

-Yeah.

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-I believe it's called panettone.

-Panettone.

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-Well...

-You're not good with the Italian.

-I'm not good with the Italian.

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I'm not good with the Italian, I can hardly speak the English. BOTH LAUGH

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You're absolutely...

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-very good with the Belfast, but.

-Very good with the Belfast.

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-Oh, look at that girl in the pink shorts.

-Oh, she's going to the gym.

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And an orange... Listen, no matter where you're going,

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you don't wear a pink short with an orange leg.

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-It just doesn't happen.

-Well, the young ones like the orange tan.

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-Yes, the tango.

-Yes.

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'Sydenham Bypass from Holywood Exchange to...'

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-Is my make-up all right tor am I a wee bit...

-Tangoed?

-..tangoed?

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-A wee bit orange.

-A wee bit orange.

-A wee bit orange.

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We'll put a wee bit of lipstick on?

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-In case I'm out to lunch?

-Just work away in my make-up bag.

-OK.

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I am a wee bit tangoed.

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-My face is tangoed.

-Let me see.

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-You have a white ear!

-Sure, it'll blend in. It's all right.

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'A yellow warning for both snow and ice remains in place until lunchtime.

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'The wintry showers continue with snow over the Sperrins...'

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Freezing! BUZZING

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Oh, no!

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THEY BOTH LAUGH

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That just sounds a little bit dirty.

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Hang on till I turn these off.

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BUZZING

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You know what I need to do? OK.

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CAT MEOWS

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Bye-bye, Simone. Down off the car.

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Nina, will you count to ten and

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Simone will get off the car.

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One... He's on the car when we're removing!

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-SHE GASPS

-Silly pussycat!

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CAT MEOWS

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-Did you ever see my stars of Slimming World?

-No.

-Look at them.

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You lose your half-stone,

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your stone and then your 10%.

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Then you hit your target.

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-So...

-And then you drink hot chocolates?

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Aye, but it's only once a week. A wee treat.

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A wee treat.

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'While we make our best efforts

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'to maintain the roads

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'and keep them clear of snow and ice

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'You know, we have to drive according to the conditions.'

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IN POLISH:

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Worst cars you'll ever see, Alfa Romeo.

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You can't even get the parts for it any more.

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-That and Saab.

-Huh?

-Saab.

-Saab?

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-Yeah.

-What do you mean, Saab?

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You can't get parts for Saabs any more. They went out years ago.

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-What's a Saab?

-A car.

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S-A-A-B.

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Never seen one before in my life.

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-A Saab car?

-Saab.

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-You can go now.

-Like a sabre-tooth tiger Saab or something?

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Aye, if you want.

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I've never seen one. You've Audi, BMW...

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-Your Posh.

-Posh? You've got...

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-I meant to say...

-That a new posh car, is it?

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No, I meant to say Porsche. Porsche.

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-Porsche.

-Oh, aye.

-But what's a Saab?

-A Saab's a car, Joe.

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It has four wheels and it moves forwards and backwards.

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Here comes another car down the bus lane.

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-See, another one. Down the bus lane.

-Yeah, I see them.

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These bus lanes are a pain in the butt in the mornings.

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I know why they use them,

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but...you watch how many cars drive down here just to turn right.

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Look at them all driving down the bus lane again. It's crazy!

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IN POLISH:

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TYRES SCREECH

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-Oh, oh, oh!

-I think he nearly...

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-What an idiot!

-Uh-huh.

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HORN BLOWS

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What a stupid woman. She pulls out of there in front of me

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-to turn there across traffic.

-Don't worry about it.

-It's stupid!

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It's just ignorance, it really is.

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Total ignorance.

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-Look at this!

-Ohh!

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HORN BLOWS What?!

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It's all right, the passenger's waving, he knows what's going on.

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Nobody else does like. Inside lane. Look where he is now.

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He's going round the roundabout like a 50p.

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Huh?

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That's what you're up against.

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The police pulled me in the other day on the motorway, I was doing 95.

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And they said to me, "Sir, you were doing 95mph on a motorway, have you an excuse?" I said, "Yes."

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I says, "My wife ran off with a policeman last week

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"and I thought that was him bringing her back."

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BOTH LAUGH

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Only joking. Only joking.

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Hello, boys. Buy me a Christmas present this year.

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It's all right, you've got a couple of Christmas parties beforehand,

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so you'll be able to get a boy for Christmas. Don't worry.

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Maybe Santa'll bring me a nice one.

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That's it. He'll be wrapped up under the tree for you.

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BOTH LAUGH

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-With a mankini on.

-Oh, God!

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-"Merry Christmas!"

-Sounds like my ex.

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BOTH LAUGH

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Oh, my gosh!

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# Just hear those sleigh bells jingling

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# Ring-ting-tingling too... #

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Ready? Red light stop, green light...?

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-Go!

-Good girl!

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-Can he pull out of the pit?

-And he's got out the first time!

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# Come on, its lovely weather

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# For a sleigh ride together with you. #

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-Morning!

-Hiya.

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-Put your seat belt on.

-It's on.

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Oh, so it is.

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-Uh-oh!

-What?

-This isn't a good idea in the car.

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Geez! That sounds bad.

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What?

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All right, mate, don't worry about that car coming.

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You just take over and break the rules of the road there.

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Yep, well done.

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-Did you see Strictly?

-Yep.

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"Hello!"

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BOTH LAUGH

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Who's that an impression of?

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-That's terrible.

-Barry Manilow.

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Morning!

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# It's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you. #

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Morning, Booby.

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Oh, Betty, can you please do my eyebrows today?

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-Didn't your boyfriend say to you about your eyebrows?

-What boyfriend?

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-Hey!

-LAUGHTER

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-Sorry.

-Touchy subject, Betty.

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We need to find her a boyfriend. A boy for Christmas now, all right?

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ENGINE NOISE DROWNS OUT CHATTER

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Some people are just maniacs.

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Give you some of that there!

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ALL LAUGH

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You wee menace, you! You wee twerp!

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LAUGHTER

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No, I...I would like to be 19 again.

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It's like you kind of just find yourself a little bit at 19.

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-Do you reckon? No.

-Yeah. Yeah, defo.

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No, wait till you get into your 30s,

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you have the best, like, sex drive ever.

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No, definitely not.

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'Our top story this morning. A patient at the Royal Victoria Hospital in Belfast

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'is waiting to find out if they have Ebola.

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'Tests are being carried out for the deadly virus after the person returned from West Africa.

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'Our chief reporter, Jordan Motes, has been following the story.'

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Just wait to this wee sheep gets out of there. Baa!

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Oh, all over the car. All over the car! Oh, well.

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'Test results are expected this afternoon on a patient

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'at the Royal Victoria Hospital who's being tested for the Ebola virus.'

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Did I tell you what Gemma said about Ebola?

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-Ebola?

-Ebolio, you normally say.

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Her and Stephanie were standing talking in work a couple of weeks ago

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and Stephanie mentioned something about zombies, right?

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Gemma put two and two together and was telling her clients

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that whenever you have Ebola you turn into a zombie

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and that's how everybody gets Ebola.

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# It's Christmas time

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THEY SING ALONG # There's no need to be afraid

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# At Christmas time

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# We let in light and we banish shade... #

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Who's this fella does this song, something about Christmas?

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About Ebola?

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-No, I haven't heard it.

-Right, he wants people first of all

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to...download a song, listen to it,

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delete it, download it...

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listen to it, delete it. So it's bought more times, right?

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Sure, that's impossible to do, because once it's bought and you've deleted it,

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-it just lets you re-download it.

-That's what I thought.

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-Who's that fella called?

-Bob Geldof?

-Bob Geldof.

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He's an absolute muppet!

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'And, finally, Justin Bieber is the highest earning celebrity under 30 years old.

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'The singer has beaten One Direction to the top spot after earning

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'£50 million in the past year.'

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See, that's obscene now. I would disagree with that.

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They get the money and the power and then they go on to

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-the oul' wacky baccy or whatever they call it.

-Aye.

-Drugs.

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Sure, he thinks he's invincible.

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Aye, well, so did Michael Jackson and a whole lot of other ones.

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Oh, Justin Bieber, he is a muppet. He's a bigger muppet.

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-He is a muppet.

-There's that many muppets in the world now

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that they could bring the Muppet Show back again with all different real-life characters.

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Bob Geldof, Justin Bieber.

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Absolute muppets!

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-'Also expect delays this morning on the Westlink...'

-Yes, yes, yes!

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-It's a lovely, bright day. Oh, look!

-Oh, my goodness!

-Goodness me!

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And you're in the wrong lane.

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-Oh, my goodness!

-Now, you see, if you have messed this up this morning,

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-you are in big trouble.

-I know. Look at that!

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You see, they're all going to the Boucher Road for the bargains.

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-Ach, look at him letting us in.

-People with young children.

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-He's as good as gold.

-Give him a wee...

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-Whoo-hoo! Thank you.

-Thank you very much.

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-That was awfully good of him.

-You get the odd one wouldn't let you in.

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-And they get a toot.

-Uh-uh... SHE MIMICS A CAR HORN

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-Or a very nasty look from you because you're good at the nasty look.

-Yes.

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Very often you don't even have to toot,

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-you can just look at them like...

-Uh-huh.

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Oh! Look at that big truck!

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It's going that way.

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Yes, it is. And it's very big and very slow.

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Yes, it's going slow.

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'One more story this hour. And a Belfast woman has collected nearly £13 million

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'in the Euro Millions lottery. Mary Hamilton, who is 65...'

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12.9 million! I don't know,

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I think I would try and help South Africa with that,

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what you call it, Ebolia or Ebolion?

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-BOTH LAUGH Ebola.

-Ebola.

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-And then I would buy a big house.

-What would you buy me?

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I'd buy you a wee...

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I don't like the word wee there, so...think again.

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I'd hand you £100 and tell you don't be going too mad in town.

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Hold on. If you won 12.9 million, you'd hand me £100?!

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All right, splash out, 120, then.

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120. Just don't go too mental when you're out.

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'Travelling into Belfast, just the usual delays,

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'the M1 is busy from Blaris to Black's Road

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'the M2 from Sandyknowes towards Nelson Street,

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'and the Sydenham Bypass from...'

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-All right, mate.

-Are you going that slow?

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No, I'm just keeping to my limits.

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Trying to be later for work, you know.

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SATNAV GIVES DIRECTIONS IN POLISH

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And they wonder why people are obese in this country. Look at that guy.

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-There's a bad red coat.

-Ach, no...

-It's a bad red coat.

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It's trying to be velvet but not quite.

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-Well, do you know it's Christmas?

-Nearly a nylon velvet.

-It is Christmas now.

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-It is Christmas.

-Does that mean we have to be nicer?

-Yes, it does.

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'If you're travelling into Belfast

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'traffic is slow on the M1 all the way in from Lisburn,

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'on the Sydenham Bypass from Tillysburn,

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'on the M2 from the hill section above Greencastle,

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'and the A2 Shore Road from Carrickfergus...'

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See on Christmas morning and they show the Christmas Santa Claus?

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-The Santa Claus.

-Uh-huh.

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With Dudley Moore. That's when you know it's Christmas.

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Every Christmas morning, get up,

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-maybe a coffee with a bit of brandy in it or something.

-Oh, yes.

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A wee ham and turkey sandwich with brown sauce...

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Just you saying Santa Claus, spell Santa Claus for me.

0:15:350:15:38

-It's not a trick question, just spell it.

-Santa Claus?

-Santa Claus.

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-Santa Claus?

-Yeah. Spell it.

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Santa is SA-NT-A.

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Right, spell Claus.

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Claus is S-A... S-L-A-U-S-E.

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Clause? Where you getting the S from in Clause?

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-Santa Claus.

-Then, why are you saying S?

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-There's an S in it.

-Aye, not to start, though, it's a C.

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-I said C.

-You said S.

0:16:060:16:09

At the start of the Claus?

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Yeah, it starts with Claus and you started with an S.

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-Claus.

-Cl.... Cl... C!

0:16:130:16:17

The girl in Slimming World about, ach, 12 weeks ago,

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she was doing a wee talk to us.

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She said, "If everybody loses one pound of weight

0:16:230:16:26

"between now and Christmas, you'll have lost a stone.

0:16:260:16:30

"You'll have went down a dress size."

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I said, "That's no use to me." She said, "What do you mean?"

0:16:330:16:36

I said, "Well, I don't wear dresses for one. And two, I do Santa.

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"And I have never seen a skinny Santa yet."

0:16:400:16:43

-Look at that dress over there. It's gorgeous.

-Ho-ho-ho!

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-Look, there's Santa!

-Oh, my God!

-She has the same outfit as me.

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LAUGHTER

0:16:510:16:53

-I said Santa. S-A-N-T-A.

-S-C...

-No, I said C.

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No, you said S-C.

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-C-L-A-U-S-E.

-No, see, you're spelling it wrong.

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See, you are spelling Santa Claus as in the movie The Santa Clause.

0:17:050:17:10

But Santa Claus is C-L-A-U-S.

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-C-A-U...

-No.

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Clause. C-L-A-U-S. There's no E.

0:17:170:17:20

There's another call in, Santa Claus. Since I lost all the weight

0:17:200:17:23

I have to wear two suits.

0:17:230:17:25

You know the suit I had last year?

0:17:250:17:27

I put it on below, then I got a new coat out of Elliott's,

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a big, long, full length one.

0:17:300:17:33

Tractors, get off the road!

0:17:450:17:47

There's young TR Actor, boy!

0:17:480:17:51

That wee John Deere, that green one.

0:17:510:17:53

Imagine if he took a blindside!

0:17:530:17:55

THEY LAUGH

0:17:550:17:57

Tractors...

0:17:580:18:00

Why? Seriously, why do you have tractors on the road

0:18:020:18:05

this time of the morning?

0:18:050:18:06

If I got in some kind of power I would be looking at that.

0:18:060:18:09

That would be the first thing I'd be looking at.

0:18:090:18:12

-What, clause?

-No, tractors.

0:18:120:18:13

-Tractors.

-There'd be a few clauses in it as well,

0:18:130:18:15

-but there'd be tractors off...

-How do you spell the clause that's in a law?

0:18:150:18:19

I don't know. Whatever.

0:18:190:18:21

It's probably the E on the end, is it? Yeah?

0:18:220:18:25

-Look, look.

-Uh-huh.

-Look, look.

0:18:390:18:42

-Overtaking. Overtaking.

-No, butting out, not overtaking.

0:18:420:18:45

Just putting your big nose out. This is what happens.

0:18:450:18:49

-People get angry in the morning, but not us.

-Not us.

-Not us.

0:18:490:18:52

There's no point in angry.

0:18:520:18:55

Santa's Cottage.

0:18:550:18:56

Is that with an E?

0:18:580:18:59

Santa Cottage, it's not even the real Santa Cottage.

0:18:590:19:01

TYRES SCREECH

0:19:010:19:03

Oh, gee!

0:19:030:19:05

HORNS BEEP

0:19:050:19:06

Sure, we'll just drive...

0:19:080:19:10

HE LAUGHS

0:19:100:19:12

I'll get ye, I'll kill ye. I swear.

0:19:150:19:19

Must be stupid pills being taken this morning.

0:19:190:19:22

# Chestnuts roasting on an open fire... #

0:19:220:19:28

-I am starving, I could eat the leg of a horse now.

-So am I.

0:19:310:19:35

-Do you know what I am really looking forward to?

-What?

-Christmas dinner.

0:19:350:19:40

I love my Christmas dinner.

0:19:400:19:41

-My mammy always does, like, 14,000 selections of meat.

-Mm.

0:19:410:19:46

So, are you going to have a...tur...turkey?

0:19:460:19:51

-What's it called?

-They'll have a traditional Christmas dinner.

0:19:510:19:54

They will have traditional Christmas dinner.

0:19:540:19:56

Is called a turkey...?

0:19:560:19:58

-A traditional Christmas...?

-No.

0:19:580:20:00

It's called a traditional Christmas dinner.

0:20:000:20:04

Right? Which is turkey.

0:20:040:20:05

Well, Christmas dinner. Is it sorted?

0:20:050:20:08

-Well, the turkey is ordered anyway, so it is.

-You get the same?

0:20:080:20:12

-Oh, aye.

-Good lad. I like you getting a turkey. Do you know why?

0:20:120:20:15

-You don't have to pay for that.

-I don't have to pay for it.

0:20:150:20:19

I just eat it. I love the turkey,

0:20:190:20:21

I love the ham, I love roast spuds and I love...

0:20:210:20:25

You won't be able to get...

0:20:250:20:27

-You'll have to have half portions.

-No half portions.

0:20:270:20:30

No, no, no.

0:20:300:20:32

-No, no, no, no.

-I'll eat your pavlova for you. I'll have two bits.

0:20:320:20:35

No, I'm eating my own pavlova. I can eat it myself.

0:20:350:20:38

We don't have turkey in China. We never, never have turkey...

0:20:380:20:45

-..at our dining table.

-Yeah.

-Never. Make roasted Peking duck...

-Yeah.

0:20:460:20:54

-..for our Christmas. So we are not going to have turkey.

-Yeah.

0:20:560:21:00

That's up to you.

0:21:020:21:04

No sprouts. I hate sprouts. I hate them.

0:21:040:21:07

I work with them all year. I hate looking at them.

0:21:070:21:10

-I'm not going to eat them. No sprouts.

-I love them.

0:21:100:21:14

-You like the sprouts?

-It's the profit from them I love.

-It's the profit from them you love. Right.

0:21:140:21:19

-Everybody but John...

-My John hates them.

0:21:190:21:21

..ate the Brussels sprouts.

0:21:210:21:23

-I love Brussels sprouts.

-They were really nice.

0:21:230:21:25

-Love the Brussels sprouts.

-Do you?

0:21:250:21:28

I could eat Brussels sprouts from now to...

0:21:280:21:29

Just as well you spend Christmas Day on your own. That's all I'm saying.

0:21:290:21:33

What is it Leo says? They're like a tasty fart.

0:21:330:21:37

Do you remember he said that at Christmas dinner last year?

0:21:400:21:43

"Oh, Nana, thanks for these. They're delicious. Like a tasty fart."

0:21:430:21:47

IN POLISH:

0:21:470:21:51

You're having two Christmas dinners this year? That's even better.

0:22:060:22:09

Are yous going to put the weight on?

0:22:090:22:12

Just asking a general question. Go.

0:22:120:22:15

-Not funny.

-Should I be quiet?

-Yes.

-Should I say no more?

-No.

-OK.

0:22:160:22:19

-Digging a big hole.

-Digging a big hole.

0:22:190:22:22

Absolutely digging a big hole.

0:22:220:22:24

It's great because you'll sit down to everything massive,

0:22:240:22:28

piled high, covered in butter, swimming in butter,

0:22:280:22:30

and you'll scarf it and I'll be sitting there with a lettuce leaf

0:22:300:22:34

and the rice and it'll still go on my arse.

0:22:340:22:37

# I want a hippopotamus for Christmas

0:22:400:22:43

# Only hippopotamus will do

0:22:430:22:46

# I don't want a something A rhinoceroses

0:22:460:22:49

# I only want "hippopotamuseses"

0:22:490:22:53

# Hippopotamuses love me do. #

0:22:530:22:56

Do you remember you were singing Jingle Bells?

0:22:560:22:59

# Jingle bells, jingle bells all the way

0:22:590:23:03

# What fun we had

0:23:030:23:05

# Jingle bells, jingle bells on our sleigh. #

0:23:050:23:09

# Making spirits bright

0:23:100:23:12

# What fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight... #

0:23:120:23:15

SHE HUMS A TUNE

0:23:160:23:17

Yeah.

0:23:170:23:19

-I haven't heard that for a while.

-That's a bit of a Christmas number.

0:23:190:23:21

-It is, actually.

-Yes, you hear that at Christmas.

0:23:210:23:24

-I'm trying to think what I want for Christmas.

-What about your birthday?

0:23:240:23:27

What would you like for your birthday tomorrow?

0:23:270:23:30

-I don't really want anything for my birthday.

-Well, you do.

0:23:300:23:32

-I don't like remembering birthdays.

-I think that's really miserable.

0:23:320:23:36

Uh-huh. I'm turning 40.

0:23:360:23:38

Yeah. In your dreams. That lady said yesterday indeed I looked 21.

0:23:380:23:42

Yes, she did.

0:23:420:23:44

"You couldn't have a daughter of 21. You look no more than 21 yourself."

0:23:440:23:47

No. She had a Ballymena accent.

0:23:470:23:49

-And I'm going to Ballymena today.

-You are.

0:23:490:23:52

-Brookshane?

-Broughshane.

0:23:520:23:53

-Broughshane.

-Brookshane(!)

-Is that outside Ballymena?

0:23:530:23:57

If you pull into a garage and say...

0:23:570:23:59

-POSH ACCENT:

-"Hello, can you tell me the way to Brookshane?"

0:23:590:24:01

-They'll be saying, "Get out o' here, love."

-I like the Ballymena accent.

0:24:010:24:05

-ON RADIO:

-'What's the commute like, Anne?'

0:24:050:24:08

'As Cecilia was saying, black ice has been reported...'

0:24:080:24:10

-Look at this here.

-Plain sailing here.

0:24:100:24:13

And it's down into the final corner here. Lewis Hamilton...

0:24:130:24:17

Oh, no, no, no.

0:24:170:24:19

You got caught. Oh, he's away on.

0:24:190:24:24

Look at this idiot on the bike. Look, look, look.

0:24:240:24:27

Crossing a pelican crossing on a push-bike. And no green man.

0:24:290:24:34

Look, love, I'll give you one-time offer. Do you want to take it?

0:24:340:24:38

It isn't Deal or no Deal. You don't get several offers.

0:24:380:24:40

-You only get the one.

-Would you like to go past now or never?

-Come on.

0:24:400:24:45

-No worries, love. You have a lovely...

-No, no, you go that way.

0:24:450:24:48

-That way, not that way.

-Have a lovely day(!)

0:24:480:24:50

CLATTER

0:24:500:24:53

Ooh!

0:24:530:24:55

She clipped him. She clipped him. You can see it. Look at the paint.

0:24:550:24:59

# I don't want a lot for Christmas

0:24:590:25:05

# There is just one thing I need

0:25:050:25:09

# I don't care about the presents

0:25:090:25:13

# Underneath the Christmas tree... #

0:25:130:25:16

-What's the kids getting?

-Charlie wants a new phone, so...

0:25:160:25:20

-I suppose it'll be an iPhone 6 or something.

-Aye. Yeah.

0:25:200:25:23

See when I was a child, an apple, an orange and maybe a chocolate bar

0:25:230:25:27

in a sock hanging at the end of the bed.

0:25:270:25:31

I remember one Christmas,

0:25:310:25:33

we got caps, guns and caps.

0:25:330:25:37

I'd say in the first 20 minutes the caps were all done.

0:25:370:25:40

I'm sure my mummy was glad, like. Half five in the morning.

0:25:400:25:44

That was so funny, that year. Dad is such a prat.

0:25:440:25:47

"Here, I got you a present." Open it up.

0:25:470:25:50

An adapter, power surge adapter plug. Have you ever in all your life...?

0:25:500:25:54

-That was funny.

-"Thanks, Dad(!)"

0:25:540:25:57

So what do you want for Christmas?

0:25:570:25:59

I'd really like a new power surge adapter.

0:25:590:26:03

-Oh, what did I forget to do?

-Oh, my goodness, what?

0:26:060:26:08

-My advent calendar.

-Ah, you forgot the advent calendar.

0:26:080:26:12

That's no problem. That's perfect, thank you.

0:26:120:26:15

-BOTH:

-# It's a time for giving

0:26:180:26:20

# A time for receiving. #

0:26:200:26:22

"A time for getting."

0:26:220:26:24

-OK. You see, I am into the receiving.

-I know you are.

0:26:240:26:27

-It's all about me.

-You love the receiving.

-Of course I do.

0:26:270:26:32

"My name is Catherine and I love the receiving!"

0:26:320:26:36

You're a receiver.

0:26:390:26:41

Actually if you admitted to being a receiver...

0:26:410:26:44

-# Christmas time

-Silent night

0:26:440:26:46

-# Mistletoe and Wine

-Holy night

0:26:460:26:49

# Children singing... #

0:26:490:26:51

-You absolutely love yourself.

-I don't love myself like that.

0:26:510:26:54

-You do a wee bit.

-Not that bad looking, I don't think.

0:26:540:26:57

-You're gorgeous.

-Why don't we just not go into work,

0:26:570:27:00

we'll go to the Hudson, we'll have a nice pint, or...?

0:27:000:27:03

We've got to go to Starbucks and have a Christmas coffee.

0:27:030:27:05

-In the red cups.

-In the red cups.

-In the red cups.

0:27:050:27:09

-I'm looking forward to Christmas.

-I'm looking forward to Christmas.

0:27:110:27:15

By the way, I booked the chef and manager in Newtownards for us

0:27:190:27:23

for New Year's Eve.

0:27:230:27:25

-Right, OK.

-Just the family.

-And you're paying?

0:27:250:27:29

I didn't say I was paying. I booked it. I didn't say I was paying.

0:27:290:27:33

I'd maybe go halfers with you.

0:27:330:27:35

Woo-hoo!

0:27:350:27:36

She looks like she's in her pyjamas.

0:27:360:27:39

-She IS in her pyjamas.

-Oh, my God.

0:27:390:27:41

# Do they know it's Christmas time at all? #

0:27:420:27:46

Back to start the day, effectively.

0:27:460:27:49

Back to start the day.

0:27:490:27:50

-With all our stuff.

-Yes.

-All our stuff.

0:27:500:27:54

OK.

0:27:540:27:56

I won't muck your make-up up. I'll see you later. Watch that car coming.

0:27:560:28:00

There's your bag.

0:28:000:28:02

Look who's in your bag!

0:28:020:28:05

-Santa.

-Hi, Santa.

0:28:050:28:06

We'll just park in here. That's fine.

0:28:060:28:09

HE YAWNS

0:28:110:28:14

Do you want to just go home?

0:28:160:28:18

Yeah, will we?

0:28:180:28:20

-Yeah.

-OK, home.

0:28:200:28:21

THEY LAUGH

0:28:210:28:23

CAR LOCKS

0:28:410:28:42

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