Episode 7 Celebrity Mastermind

First in the spotlight tonight is the actor and broadcaster

Tyger Drew-Honey.

His specialist subject is the sitcom The Office.

APPLAUSE

Next, the Radio 6 Music presenter Tom Ravenscroft.

He will be answering questions on the Warp record label.

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The actress and presenter Maria McErlane takes as her subject

the Nazi sympathiser Unity Mitford.

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And the writer of the Horrible Histories series,

Terry Deary, on the Father Brown stories.

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Hello and welcome to Celebrity Mastermind

with me, John Humphrys, and four people who may be wondering why

they volunteered to be here tonight.

The reward is obvious - the huge honour of becoming

a Celebrity Mastermind, but the ordeal can be pretty daunting.

90 seconds on their specialist subject,

two minutes on general knowledge, all in the glare of the spotlight.

So let us have our first contender please.

This is daunting, isn't it?

I hope so. And your name is?

The Office in 90 seconds, starting now.

The Office stars Ricky Gervais as an insufferable manager

working at the paper company Wernham Hogg.

Who co-wrote and co-directed the series with Gervais?

Stephen Merchant.

Which song composed by Mike d'Abo is used as the series theme tune?

Handbags and Gladrags.

What is the name of the Slough nightclub that Gareth says he

and other staff members visit every Wednesday?

Chasers.

In the first episode, Tim plays a practical joke on Gareth

by putting which item of office equipment in a moulded jelly?

A stapler.

Which singer does Brent describe as a philosopher at the end of series two,

quoting her as saying, "If you want the rainbow,

"you've got to put up with the rain?"

-Dolly Parton.

-What is the name of the accounts worker

who answers, "Don't know," to every question on a section of his staff appraisal form?

Keith.

When Jennifer suggests to Brent but he should fire his friend Chris Finch,

Brent pretends to phone him but actually dials the number for what?

The talking clock.

Which branch of Wernham Hogg does Neil Godwin manage

before his staff relocate to Slough and he becomes Brent's new boss?

Swindon.

At the meet and greet for the employees relocated from Swindon,

Brent jokes he's heard they dropped an atomic bomb on Swindon.

What does he say was the value of the damage caused?

£15.

Who is given an oil painting set as a secret Santa present

because her dream job is to be an illustrator?

Dawn Tinsley.

Brent sets up his own music label, Juxtaposition Records,

and releases which single that is a complete flop?

If You Don't Know Me By Now.

Which actress plays Helena, a journalist from the Inside Paper

trade magazine who has the unenviable task

of interviewing Brent for an article?

Sophie Colman.

Olivia Colman.

Curses. And it was the last one as well.

-You were doing perfectly until there.

-God, you know what...

However, look on the bright side, old chap, you've got 11 points.

Thank you very much.

APPLAUSE

And our next contender, please.

In 90 seconds, here we go.

In which city did Steve Beckett and

Rob Mitchell found Warp Records in 1989?

Sheffield.

The first single on the Warp label was called Track With No Name,

released by which act consisting of Robert Gordon, Winston Hazel and Sean Maher?

Forgemasters.

Maximo Park were nominated for the 2005

Mercury Music Prize for which debut album?

I can't remember.

Aphex Twin collaborated with the American classical composer

Philip Glass on which track in 1995?

Pass.

The Scottish duo of Michael Sandison and Marcus Eoin record

for Warp as an act called Boards Of...where?

Canada.

Which indie label was founded by Warp

for Pulp before they signed for Island Records?

Gift.

In 2016, Warp released an album of Christopher Clark

soundtrack music to which television miniseries?

Pass.

With which artists did Brian Eno record

the albums Someday World and High Life in 2014?

Pass.

Who founded the Designers Republic company which created

the distinctive Warp Records logo?

Oh, I'm bombing. Pass.

Which label was set up by Tom Brown as an offshoot of Warp

to discover and record new hip-hop talent?

Lex.

Under what name did Tom Jenkinson release

albums Just A Souvenir and Music Is Rotted One Note?

Squarepusher.

The techno duo of Mark Bell and Gez Varley reached number 12 in

the UK charts in 1990 with which single

whose title was also the name of the band?

-LFO.

-What is the title of the compilation album released in 1998

whose initials are the letters of the Warp label's name?

Shall I put you out of your misery?

-Yes.

-We Are Reasonable People.

-Oh! Terrible.

-There you go.

Your other passes - Karl Hyde recorded Someday World, etc.

That 2016 series was The Last Panthers.

Aphex Twin collaborated with Philip Glass on Icct Hedral.

-Still can't say it.

-No, quite. Nor me.

It was Ian Anderson who founded the Designers Republic company.

And Maximo Park were nominated for A Certain Trigger.

You have a total, Tom, of seven points.

APPLAUSE

And our next contender, please.

Unity Mitford, 90 seconds, here we go.

Each of the six Mitford sisters were given

a nickname as a child. What was Unity's?

Bobo.

With which of her sisters did Unity share a bedroom, half of which was covered

with Unity's Nazi memorabilia and half with her sister's communist symbols?

-Jessica.

-Unity and which cousin came out as debutantes

in 1932 when her sister Diana organised a ball in their honour?

Robin.

Yes, Joan or Robin Farrer.

Unity was already a member of the British Union of Fascists when she first saw

Hitler speak at a Nuremberg rally in which year?

1933.

What was the name of Unity's only brother

who was killed fighting in Burma?

Tom.

Unity was assaulted in which Spanish city in

1936 because she was wearing a gold swastika badge?

Where the Alhambra is...

Argh!

-Pass?

-Yeah, sorry.

One of her friends in the upper echelons of the Nazi party

was Magda, the wife of which of Hitler's closest henchmen?

Goebbels.

What was Unity's unusual middle name, given to her because

of her grandfather's love of the music of Richard Wagner?

Valkyrie.

Unity tried to kill herself on 3 September 1939 when war broke out

between Britain and Germany, the two countries she loved. Which city was she in?

Munich.

In that suicide attempt she used a pistol

that was said to be a present from Hitler - what make was it?

It was a Walther 635.

What disease was put down as the main cause of Unity's death

on her death certificate in 1948?

Meningitis.

Which newspaper published an interview with Unity in June 1935 under

the heading Confessions Of An English Fascist Girl?

The Daily Mirror.

Municher Zeitung.

Oh, I see.

You had a one pass - Granada.

-Of course it was!

-Of course it was, yeah.

-But you knew what it was.

-Of course I did.

Maria, you have scored 10 points.

APPLAUSE

And finally our last contender.

In 90 seconds, starting now.

In The Secret Garden, Father Brown is described

as a little man with a humble gaze who lives in which Essex village?

Cob...

..hole.

According to the title of the first story, what colour are the stones

on the precious cross that Father Brown stops a thief from stealing?

-Blue.

-What French alias is used by the famous

jewel thief of gigantic stature who renounces criminal life and

becomes a private detective and close friend of Father Brown?

Flambeau.

"Where does a wise man hide a leaf," is a maxim used by Father Brown.

What is the answer given by Flambeau in The Sign Of The Broken Sword?

In a forest.

In The Hammer of God, who confesses that he has killed his brother

Norman by throwing a small hammer at him from the church tower?

The priest, his brother.

Name?

Never mind. I'll take it as a pass.

In The Invisible Man, what is the occupation of the murderer which

enables him to move around without being noticed?

A postman.

In The Secret Of Father Brown, Flambeau

is retired and lives in a small castle in which country?

Spain.

What Christian symbol was on the gold cross Professor Smaill discovered

while doing an archaeological dig on a Greek island?

A fish.

Which journalist from Kansas City meets Father Brown in

a mission station in South America and turns him into an

unwilling celebrity in The Resurrection Of Father Brown?

-Pass.

-What is the name of Sir Claude Champion's estate near Oxford where

he is found dying in The Strange Crime of John Boulnois?

-Pass.

-Father Brown says that many civilisations regard a particular

crime as the worst in the world when he visits a Northumbrian

castle and finds Sir John Musgrave has been murdered. What crime?

-Killing your father.

-Killing your father.

Indeed the worst in the world.

You had three passes, Terry.

Pendragon Park was the name of his estate.

Snaith was the journalist from Kansas City

and the Reverend Wilfred Bohun was the chap I was after.

You have eight points.

APPLAUSE

Well, that's the end of the first round.

Let's have a look at the scores.

Round 2 now, the general knowledge bit, and if there is

a tie at the end of this round, then the number of passes

is taken into account and the person with the fewer passes is the winner.

So let's get on with it and ask Tom to join us again, please.

Tom, your 6 Music programme - experimental and new music.

Sounds a bit scary.

Unlistenable.

Unlistenable as a programme.

Thankfully, it's on quite late at night so management don't listen.

I think if they did I'm in big trouble, basically, yeah.

Kind of get away with quite a bit.

Give us an idea. I mean, I don't mean hum it...

I'm not sure I could do that.

Give us an idea of what qualifies as...

Well, it doesn't have to be weird and wild and obscure,

it's just fairly self-indulgent.

It's really just what I've heard that week that I particularly like.

I kind of gather up and listen to new music, trying to come

from as many possible places around the world, and it's

essentially just my favourite 35 discoveries of the week.

So some of them are a bit odd and some of them less so.

And do you choose them because they sound really good

or because they just sound really weird?

I just choose them because I love them.

That's all I can base it on.

Can you really love 35 different bits every week?

I could. Hundreds and hundreds.

Well, we should have got you to bring some long.

I'll send you some records. I can sort that out for you.

Right, Tom you have seven points so far.

This is the general knowledge bit now. Here we go.

Two minutes of it starting now.

Ronan Keating was the lead singer with which Irish boyband?

Boyzone.

What is the name of the fussy little blue engine with the

number one who lives at the big station in

the Reverend Wilbert Awdry's railway books?

Thomas the Tank Engine.

The island of Bali is part of which Asian country?

Pass.

Which painter and sculptor was born in Malaga in 1881 and lived

mainly in France from 1904 until his death in April 1973?

I don't know.

What name of Central American Indian origin is given to the dried fruit

of the capsicum used in sauces and pickles

that can vary in heat from warm to blistering hot?

Chilli.

The incorruptible lawyer Atticus Finch and his daughter Jean Louise

first appeared in print in which classic American novel by Harper Lee?

Erm...

Catcher In The Rye.

No, To Kill A Mockingbird.

The River Dart flows for its entire length through which English county?

Pick a county.

Any county.

Oxfordshire.

Devon. Which pincer-like instrument used in surgery or a laboratory

has a name that comes from the Latin for tongs?

I'm just... I don't know. Losing it.

What common name is used to describe a major loss of peripheral vision,

where a person can't see anything that is not straight ahead?

Blinkered.

Close. Tunnel vision. In which of the four home countries are the

mountains Arkle and Foinavon, after which famous racehorses were named?

Any one of four. Any old country.

Oh, my God. What is wrong with me?

We're out of time now anyway, so I can tell you it's Scotland.

Right, now, you had, erm...

What a fail.

-You had a few passes apart from that one.

-Yeah.

-Forceps is that pincer-like instrument.

-Obviously.

Obviously, yeah. Picasso.

I was going to say Picasso.

Why didn't you say it?

It's kind of like... You know the answer,

but the fear of saying something really dumb is worse.

Great mistake on this programme. Always take a guess.

-And Bali is in Indonesia.

-Of course it is.

Again. Anyway, Tom, you're in

double figures. You've got 10 points.

APPLAUSE

And now Terry again, please.

I don't know where to start with Horrible Histories.

First thing is they're entertaining, obviously.

Brilliantly funny and all of that, but they are meant to teach

kids something, surely.

Yes. Human nature. That's what they're about.

They're about the most fascinating subject in the world - people.

Right. And people to whom nasty things often happen?

Yes, but people in traumatic situations,

and then ultimately you should be

asking yourself, "How would I have behaved in that situation?"

In other words, you find out, "Who am I?"

Right, so you're not in a sense

-setting out to teach children history...

-Exactly.

You're setting out to teach them about human nature.

Exactly. I know nothing about history.

So if you ask me a history question and I get it totally wrong,

please don't laugh.

How many wives did Henry VIII have?

Six.

Do I get a point for that?

No.

LAUGHTER

But, my God, you've sold a lot of books!

-30 million.

-30 million books. That is quite extraordinary.

Well, fascinating.

You've got eight points so far.

Let's see how you do with your general knowledge.

There may be not be a history question in it, by the way.

I can't guarantee either way.

Here we go.

Whose first UK number one single in 1965 was called It's Not Unusual?

-Tom Jones.

-A British blue cheese produced in Derbyshire,

Nottinghamshire and Leicestershire is the

only cheese that can officially use what name?

Stilton.

A painted lady is a colourful species of

which insect often seen in the countryside and in gardens?

-Butterfly.

-Steven Spielberg's 1997 film The Lost World

is a sequel to which of his earlier films?

Pass.

What landmark in Trafalgar Square was designed by the architect

William Railton and built between 1839 and 1843?

Nelson's Column.

Which planet has two heavily-cratered moons called Phobos and Deimos?

-Neptune.

-Mars.

The Tony award-winning musical American Idiot

which opened in the West End in 2015 features the music of which rock band?

-Queen.

-Green Day.

What was Posingford Bridge in Ashdown Forest renamed in 1979 in honour of

the game AA Milne used to play there with his son Christopher?

Poohsticks Bridge.

Which BBC comedy show of the 1970s and '80s

featured the hardware shop sketch commonly known as Four Candles?

-Open All Hours.

-The Two Ronnies.

What punctuation marks may be single or double when they are used as

quotation marks or speech marks to signify the beginning or end of direct speech?

-Commas.

-Inverted commas.

Which French fashion designer famous for her suits, dresses and perfumes

adopted the maxim, "Luxury must be comfortable otherwise it is not luxury?"

Chanel.

Wilfred Owen, Rupert Brooke and Siegfried Sassoon

are known for the poetry they wrote during which conflict?

The First World War.

Which English city and its football club are known as Pompey?

-Portsmouth.

-What name is shared by an English monarch,

a variety of plum and a type of sponge cake?

-Victoria.

-The painter Sir Alfred Munnings, who died in 1959,

was particularly famous for his paintings of which animals?

Horses.

Martin Scorsese's 2011 documentary subtitled Living In The Material World

is a biography of which of the Beatles?

-John Lennon.

-George Harrison.

In Norse mythology, what weapon did the God Thor throw

that always returned to him like a boomerang?

A hammer.

You had just one pass - The Lost World is a sequel to Jurassic Park.

Terry, you have 19 points.

APPLAUSE

And now Maria again, please.

You're comedian and actor but when you were asked what you did,

as I understand it, you said, "I show off."

Well, it's all a bit of showing off, isn't it, really?

It's all a version of showing off, whatever you do.

Which bits of showing off do you like most?

I like them all. I don't like to be pigeonholed,

or putting all your eggs in one basket,

if I can mix the metaphors there.

I think it's good, you can do lots of different things

and you don't get bored.

I'm really, really nervous about this general knowledge.

I did so well on Terry's round.

Could you just intercut me into his questions?

You know what? The difference is you

were sitting there and he was sitting there.

I know, it's really punishing here.

I will be so happy when this is over. Nothing personal, John.

Nothing personal taken.

Well, let's see.

Just forget you're sitting in the black chair. You're just at home

and watching the telly and you're getting these questions.

-OK.

-Here we go. Two minutes of them.

On which pop group's songs is the musical Our House based?

It won the Olivier Award for Best New Musical in 2003.

Madness.

In golf, what name is normally given to the small plastic or wooden

support for the ball used at the start of each hole?

-A tee.

-What is the name of the chief pig in

George Orwell's 1945 novel Animal Farm?

-Pass.

-How many milk teeth does a child normally have -

the first one usually comes through around the age of six months?

-Eight.

-20.

In the films Alice In Wonderland and Alice Through The

Looking Glass, Stephen Fry provides the voice for which character?

-The Mad Hatter.

-The Cheshire Cat.

Who returned to the top of the UK singles charts

in September 1995 with You Are Not Alone,

nearly four years after his previous chart topper?

-Pass.

-What name is given to the long sensory organs

that project from the heads of insects and other creatures?

Antennae.

The Swiss Guards, often known as the smallest army in the world,

are responsible for the safety of which

spiritual leader in the Christian church?

-Dalai Lama.

-The Pope.

In retailing, what two word term is used for an item

sold below cost to attract more custom?

-Sale item.

-Loss leader.

Which character created by Sacha Baron Cohen interviewed Posh and Becks

for Comic Relief in 2001 and asked the question,

"When Brooklyn grows up do you wanted him to be a footballer like his dad

"or a singer like Mariah Carey?"

Ali G.

Whose open-era record of 22 Grand Slams did Serena Williams equal

when she won her seventh Wimbledon Women's Singles title in July 2016?

-Martina Navratilova.

-Steffi Graf.

The American computer scientist John McCarthy is credited with coining

which term that is usually abbreviated to AI

to describe the ability of computers to simulate human reasoning?

Artificial intelligence.

What part of the body is affected by graphospasm?

At the moment, my head.

Fingers.

Robert Redford and Leonardo DiCaprio have both played the title

character in films based on which novel by F Scott Fitzgerald?

The Great Gatsby.

Which American state, the last in an

alphabetical list, has the postal abbreviation WY?

Wyoming.

You had two passes.

Michael Jackson did You Are Not Alone

and did awfully well with it,

and the chief pig in Animal Farm was Napoleon.

Of course.

-It's the black chair, as you say.

-It is.

-Maria, you got 17 points.

Thank you very much.

APPLAUSE

And now Tyger again, please.

11 points you got with your knowledge of The Office.

Now then, you have lived your life,

at least a very large part of your life, on telly, playing a character,

and we've seen you grow up over how many years?

Roughly ten or 11.

-And you're now aged?

-20.

So for half your life you have grown up in the eyes of the audience,

and that must be a wee bit embarrassing, because most people

can kind of hide away the embarrassing pictures.

You couldn't. They were all there to be seen.

It's interesting cos sometimes people come up to me

in the street and go, "You're that kid from Outnumbered.

"God, do you know what? I thought you were about 13."

And I say, "How old were you, like, eight years ago?"

"I was 16 eight years ago."

"How old are you now?" "I'm 24."

Yeah, that's how ageing works. Do you know what I mean?

I'm eight years older as well.

But it was brilliantly successful. It was a terrific show.

And a lot of ad-libbing in it?

Yes. I think initially the two directors,

Andy Hamilton and Guy Jenkin who wrote and directed it,

initially thought you can't

accurately write the thought process of a five and six-year-old,

so we're going to give them the gist and let them run with it

and see where that goes, and obviously people liked it.

Fascinating.

-You've got 11 points.

-Yes.

-The score to beat is 19.

So let us see how you do and whether you become a Celebrity Mastermind.

Here we go.

In the nursery rhyme, what did Little Miss Muffet

eat while sitting on her tuffet?

-Pass.

-What name is given to a long snake-like wrap

made of fur or feathers and worn around the neck?

-Necklace.

-Boa.

Which major comic strip hero who first appeared in Action Comics in June 1938

was created by Jerome Siegel and Joe Shuster?

-GI Joe.

-Superman.

Operation Sea Lion was the codename for the proposed German invasion

of which country in the Second World War?

-Poland.

-Britain.

In what 2007 Disney film comedy is Giselle, played by Amy Adams, sent away by

the evil queen to New York where she falls in love with a lawyer?

Pass.

Which former member of the Spice Girls married Christian Horner,

the Team Principal of the Red Bull Formula One team in May 2015?

Geri Halliwell.

What is the boiling point of water at normal

atmospheric pressure in degrees Celsius?

100.

What is the name of the guitarist from Queen

who had solo UK top 10 hits with Driven By You in 1991

and Too Much Love Will Kill You the following year?

My dad is going to kill me. Pass.

What spectacular natural feature on the American-Canadian border

has a viewing point called the Rainbow Bridge?

-The Grand Canyon.

-Niagara Falls.

Which musical based on a novel by Victor Hugo was made into a film

in 2012 starring Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway?

Les Miserables.

What name is given to the stick used by

a conductor to direct an orchestra or choir?

-Chopstick.

-Baton.

The stage designs for the 1975 Glyndebourne version of Stravinsky's

The Rake's Progress were revived for the 2010 season.

Which Bradford-born artist created them?

-Banksy.

-Hockney.

What nickname did Bono give to the guitarist David Evans supposedly

because of the sharp features of his face?

-Pinocchio.

-The Edge.

The American Gertrude Ederle, who died aged 98 in 2003,

was the first woman to swim which stretch of water in 1926?

The English Channel.

Which street in Manhattan famed for its theatres

has a 1933 musical film and a 1980 Broadway stage musical named after it?

-The Strip.

-42nd Street.

Anyway, that's it. You had three passes.

Brian May - your dad will kill you, as you said.

-He really will now that I know the answer.

-Brian May is the answer.

Enchanted was the film in which Giselle was played by Amy Adams.

And Little Miss Muffet ate her...

Apple.

Curds and whey.

-You got 15 points.

-Thank you very much.

-Well done.

APPLAUSE

Well, there we are. We have a clear winner.

Let's have a look at all the scores.

APPLAUSE

Terry, come and get it.

Thank you.

Now, compared with selling 30 million books, how does that rank?

This is the highlight of my life.

Exactly what you were meant to say.

Meeting you, not the trophy.

Thank you very much.

Congratulations.

You don't have to be a celebrity to take part in the regular

Mastermind programme.

If you would like to appear in the next series on BBC Two

do visit us online...

And you can follow us on Twitter...

Either way, do join us again next time for more Mastermind.

Thanks for watching. Goodbye.