Episode 8 Pointless Celebrities

APPLAUSE

CHEERING

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong.

A very warm welcome to a special celebrity edition of Pointless,

the quiz show that puts obscure knowledge to the test.

Every single question on Pointless has been asked to 100 people before the show.

To be in with a chance of winning our final-round jackpot,

our celebrities need to come up with the answers that the fewest

of those 100 people could think of.

Let's meet our Pointless celebrities!

APPLAUSE

First up, we welcome Nicholas Parsons and Rick Wakeman!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Quite a breadth of things we know you from.

Obviously, Just A Minute, Nicholas. Grumpy Old Men,

you've got a long career of TV and film, haven't you?

-And theatre, yes.

-And theatre, of course.

-And the Rocky Horror Show.

-Quite recently, Rocky Horror.

-Yes.

Fishnet tights, the high-heeled shoes...

-LAUGHTER

-Did you keep them?

Ooh, look at them.

And Rick, huge musical career. Massive hero of mine.

Rick was the keyboard player, the piano player on Hunky Dory.

-Yeah, I did Hunky Dory.

-You did Hunky Dory.

That riff at the end... # Diddler, diddler, diddle... #

at the end of Fill Your Heart.

-The diddly-diddly-diddly.

-Yes! He did all those on Hunky Dory

and on so many other things.

-It was great fun.

-You've got a lot tidied up between you, I'd say.

-But you have other interests. Nicholas, cricket...

-Cricket, of course, is my great passion, yes.

And, er, what other things? Oh, gardening, I'm a keen gardener.

-I didn't know that.

-Oh yes, and my garden's been on television three or four times.

-Goodness.

-It was the Nine O'Clock News, wasn't it?

Rick, how about you? What other areas are there?

I like gardening as well, that's what happens ageing rockers,

you go in the garden a lot.

-And football, I love my football.

-Very good. Listen, best of luck,

-lovely to have you on the show.

-Thank you.

Next, please welcome David Spinx and Hannah Waterman!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Of course, we know you from playing Keith Miller and Laura Beale,

in EastEnders. Now, what are you hoping is going to come up today?

Oh, something will come up and I think I'll like it,

then when the questions come up, I realise I don't know anything about it.

-Hannah, do you want to nominate any dread topics?

-Sport, eurgh!

-All sport?

-Yeah.

Yeah. And probably geography, history, maths, biology, physics,

-chemistry... And so it goes on!

-You two are going to be brilliant!

-I can tell!

-Oh, yeah.

-Fantastic.

-That was just a big morale boost I got there, wasn't it?

Lovely having you on the show, thanks so much for playing.

Very best of luck!

Next, please welcome Charlotte Jackson and Dan Walker!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

We know you from Sky Sports and Football Focus,

so you've got sports completely sewn up there, haven't you?

-You'd hope so.

-You really would.

-It's like David said earlier,

you might think you know the subject, the category,

and then, a question comes up and you're like, "Oh no..."

You're expected to know it and then...

If sport does actually come up as a category,

your hearts are going to beat a little bit faster, aren't they?

I've got this vision of Richard, the quizmaster, going,

"Oh dear, my six-year-old nephew would have got that..."

-The shame will never leave us!

-We'll just have to walk off.

Let me write that down, what was that? "Oh dear, my six-year-old nephew..." OK.

Well, Charlotte and Dan, it's great to have you here.

Very best of luck.

Finally, we've got Trev Neal and Simon Hickson.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Well, we know you from Live And Kicking and Going Live!

I should just say, we know you, Trevor and Simon,

-from Trevor and Simon!

-Fair enough.

-If you can remember that far back!

Absolutely. Simon, anything you're particularly hoping might come up?

Films. I like films, so films in general.

Any particular era or vintage?

Er, '70s, '80s, that kind of time.

-Anything you're dreading?

-Pigeons, I think.

Pigeons and carpet, carpet patterns.

I've been testing Trev on cheeses, haven't I?

Yeah, yeah. I'm quite good on cheeses.

I don't want, and you like this, I hate you for liking it,

you always have some periodic table thing on,

and I don't even know what the periodic table is.

-It's like an occasional table!

-Pretty bloomin' frequent on this show.

Sorry, that was a terrible joke.

Possibly not even recognisable as a joke!

Anyway...

Listen, Trev, Simon, welcome to Pointless,

-it's lovely to have you here.

-Thank you.

There's only one person left to introduce.

He asks more searching questions than a spurned lover.

-He's my Pointless friend, he's Richard.

-Hiya.

Hello.

It should be a cracking show today, shouldn't it?

Trevor and Simon look like winners, don't they?

-I think they do.

-Stop it!

-DAN:

-Why do they look like winners?

They've got that slightly buffoonish air. That's just an air, right?

-Oh yes, it's all an act.

-Of course.

But you can see they know exactly what they're doing.

In fact, I thought they were going to be winners but looking at Round One,

I think Round One is going to suit Nicholas and Rick

-down to the ground.

-Oh, that's reassuring!

OK, well, I'm looking forward to Round One.

And Round Two is going to be "things my six-year-old nephew knows".

You've done that before.

-He knows that one.

-Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

All our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show

but we are looking for the obscure answers they didn't get.

To stay in the game and be in with a chance of winning our jackpot,

our celebrities must score as few points as possible.

Everyone's trying to find a pointless answer,

that's an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

As today's show is a special celebrity edition,

each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity.

We start off with a jackpot of £2,500.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

In this first round, each of you must give me one answer

and you cannot confer with your partner.

Whichever pair has the highest score at the end of the round will be eliminated.

If you give me an incorrect answer, you'll score the maximum of 100 points.

Do try and avoid those if you can.

OK, our first category today is...

Fruit. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many

berries as they could. Berries, Richard.

We're looking for the name of any fruit or plant

that ends in the word "berry" and has its own entry

in the Oxford Dictionary Of English.

Doesn't have to be an edible fruit

but any fruit that ends in the word "berry".

Very best of luck.

Nicholas and Rick, you all drew lots before the show

and today, you get to go first.

Rick, we want a fruit that's a berry, ending in "berry".

Well, I ruled out Chuck!

I'm not sure whether this is two words or one word

-but I'll have a go. Loganberry.

-Loganberry. Very good indeed.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said loganberry.

Cracking answer, there it is.

60.

That's high. That's high.

Something tells me it's going to be a high-scoring round, this one.

-60 for loganberry.

-Big score for loganberry, named after John H Logan,

the American horticulturalist, but I don't need to tell you that.

Thank you very much, Richard.

-Now then, Hannah.

-Elderberry.

-Elderberry.

-That's a good one.

Elderberry, yes, there we are.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said elderberry.

Ooh!

APPLAUSE

-It's exciting.

-16!

Whoah. 16, leaving loganberry in its wake...man.

LAUGHTER

Very good start, Hannah, very well played.

Elderberry, named after John H Logan's elder brother!

Charlotte, the most obscure berry you can think of.

Well, I was going to say loganberry, that would have been my first choice.

That would have done you no good at all, 60 points.

I'm pleased I didn't do that. But the one I'm going to go for now

is something no-one wants to be, a gooseberry.

A gooseberry, OK, let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said gooseberry.

Absolutely right.

-Oh no!

-61.

-Sorry!

APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH

-61 for gooseberry.

-Yeah, gooseberry, only 61.

60 for loganberry and 61 for gooseberry.

OK, Simon, the most obscure berry you can think of.

Well, this is horrible. I'm going to have a go at one...

I could let you down, Trev, this could be wrong,

this could be just someone's name.

I'm going to say bilberry.

-NICHOLAS:

-That's a good one.

Bilberry, let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many people said bilberry.

-8.

-I don't even know what one is!

That scores you 8, very well done indeed.

We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at the scores as they stand.

Well, Trev and Simon looking

very strong indeed on 8. Then we travel up to 16,

where we find Hannah and David, then up to 60,

where Rick and Nicholas are.

Slightly unjustly, I can't help thinking. Loganberry, cracking answer.

60? I don't think so.

Then up to 61, where we find Charlotte and Dan.

So I would say, Dan and Nicholas, the pair of you should be

jockeying it out to see who'll be leaving us

at the end of this round. Very best of luck to you.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, we are looking for berries, we are looking for berries, Trev.

-Can you do better?

-He's put me in a bit of a dilemma here,

cos I either play safe or I go out on a limb as well.

-Limb.

-Limb, limb, limb.

-I don't know whether

it's technically right, but...

Ah...

Juniper berry.

Juniper berry. A juniper berry.

I'm saying it like that in the hope that it's one word.

This red line will show you how far down

you need to come. Our high scorers are Dan and Charlotte,

on 61. You're on 8, which means a score of 52 or less from you

will see you into the next round. Juniper berry.

Let's see if it's right and if it is, how many people said it.

-Neh!

-Never mind.

That's a real shame, a real shame. That scores you 100 points,

takes your total up to 108. But anything could happen.

108 is your total.

Yeah, that's really lulling everyone into a false sense of security.

It's distracted you, you see!

-It is a berry but it's two words.

-Yeah, sorry, I...

However fast you say it, still two words.

-A little mistake.

-So, Dan,

the high scorers are now Trev and Simon on 108, you're on 61.

46 or less will see you into the next round.

Er...

-I'm all out of berries!

-No, no, no, you're not.

There's a garden full of them.

I'm going to have to go for the obvious cos I don't know any other berries.

-Don't you?

-OK.

-Sorry, Charlotte.

Are you aware of loads of other berries?

A couple more.

My berry knowledge is not quite where it should be, obviously.

So I'm going to have to say raspberries.

-OK, you're going to say raspberry.

-Yes.

The high scorers are on 108, Trev and Simon.

I should have gone for it and let you go first.

You are on 61. If you can get below that red line,

you are through to the next round. This might be a lifeline

for Trev and Simon.

Let's see. Raspberry. Is it right?

How many people said it? Raspberry.

It's right...

87, that has scored you.

-Sorry.

-That's all right, I should have let you go first.

87. That takes your total up to 148.

Phew, Trev and Simon! That aura's come back, I can feel it.

-148 is your total now, Dan.

-Yeah, 87 people knew that,

one of whom was my six-year-old nephew as well.

OK, now, David, you are on 16.

Lovely low score which means

even if you score 100 points, you will not overtake Dan and Charlotte,

our current high scorers,

which means you're already into the next round. But for fun,

let's hear your berry. Maybe it'll be a pointless berry.

I've got two, but I'm not sure whether they are...

I'm going to go for huckleberry.

OK... I would have smirked at that but Rick just nodded,

so I'm not smirking at anything to which the Wakeman nods!

Let's see if huckleberry is right and if it is, let's see how many people said huckleberry.

It's right! It's right, David.

Very, very well done, you. Down it goes.

Still going down, still going down...

It's pointless!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Very well done indeed, David.

-Well done!

A pointless answer that adds £250 to today's jackpot.

Takes the total up to...

It scores you nothing.

It leaves your already pretty low score at a very low 16.

Very well done indeed, David.

-Huckleberry.

-What is it?

-Brilliant answer, very well played.

It's a North American fruit, a small blue-black fruit.

Terrific answer.

-Rick knew, he knew it was right immediately.

-Wow.

Brilliant, pointless answer on your very first answer,

-very well played.

-Yes!

-Brilliant!

-Very well done indeed.

And now, Nicholas, we come to you.

The unusual ones have been given but I'll stick my neck out

-and say blueberry.

-Blueberry, says Nicholas. Let's see if that's right

and if it is, how many people said blueberry.

Absolutely right and you're through to the next round.

73.

-It's good enough.

-Well done.

That takes your total up to 133.

Well played, Nicholas, safely through.

It was actually the right answer to give.

Sorry, Dan, there were a few more you might have got.

-Cranberry would have seen you through.

-Cranberry!

Mulberry would have seen you through. Boysenberry was a low scorer.

There's a whole bunch of pointless answers though.

Let's take a look at some of them.

The bunchberry, nobody said bunchberry.

You said "Chuck Berry", Rick. If you said chokeberry, you would have got a pointless answer.

The cowberry, which is black and white, makes a distinctive noise.

The dogberry, about half the size of a cowberry.

-There's huckleberry, terrific answer. The serviceberry.

-Yes.

-You weren't thinking of that one, Dan, the serviceberry?

-It was my next one!

It's one of those things. The fruit of the service tree, that.

-Er, the soapberry.

-Ah...

Didn't get that, Hannah and David? The squashberry and the winterberry,

all of those pointless. Shall we take a look at the high scorers?

These are the ones that most of our 100 people said.

Dan, one of these will be familiar to you. In third place

was the blackberry, 84, when it's working.

Raspberry, 87, and the top of all, strawberry on 92.

Well, thank you very much indeed, Richard.

At the end of the first round, the losing pair with the highest score, it's Dan and Charlotte.

I want to know, is a soapberry something you use in the bath?

Let me look, Nicholas... No, it's not.

No, no.

-Let me put that another way. You could.

-Oh yes.

But it's not what it's designed for. Like so many things in life.

LAUGHTER

Dan and Charlotte, I'm afraid we have to say goodbye to you.

You've been denied some great quizzery from myself and Charlotte.

-It's a sad moment for everyone involved!

-It genuinely is!

Thanks so much, it's been lovely having you on the show.

Dan and Charlotte, excellent contestants.

Do we walk off?

For the remaining three celebrity pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

Obviously, there's only going to be room for two celebrity pairs

in our celebrity head to celebrity head round,

so one of the teams in front of us now will be leaving us

at the end of this round.

Our category for Round Two is...

Fictional Characters. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, our question concerns...

-Richard.

-Yes, on each pass, we're going to show you six descriptions of fictional captains.

All you have to do is tell us who one of those captains is.

The more obscure answer you give, the fewer points you're going to score.

Give us an incorrect answer though, you'll score 100 points.

There'll be 12 fictional captains in all to have a go at at home.

-Best of luck.

-OK, so we are looking for the surnames

of these fictional captains and we have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Six fictional captains.

And Nicholas, you are to go first. As always on Pointless,

you're going to try and find the one the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Well, I'm a bit lost on most of them.

But Long John Silver's parrot was Captain Flint.

Captain Flint, says Nicholas.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people knew that answer.

It's right!

6!

A great answer, Nicholas.

6 for Captain Flint.

That's a terrific answer, very well played.

From Treasure Island, of course. Reputed to be over 200 years old.

-Captain Flint?

-The parrot, not Treasure Island.

Our eldest son calls...called him Long Gone Silver.

-Aw, he's having trouble reading, yeah?

-Yeah.

-He's 17, isn't he?

-17 now, yes.

Er, OK, there we are. OK, Hannah.

I think I know the answer to more than I thought initially

when I went into a blind panic and could only think

of a very obvious answer that probably isn't there at all.

So I'm going to say...

Owner of a mandolin called Antonia is Captain Corelli.

Captain Corelli, says Hannah. Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many people knew that answer. Captain Corelli.

Absolutely right.

Ooh...

-That's OK.

-21 for Captain Corelli.

APPLAUSE

Well played, Hannah. Captain Antonio Corelli

from the novel by Louis De Bernieres, played by Nicolas Cage in the film.

Oh yes! OK, now then, Trev, you're the last person to have this board.

If you like, you can take us through the board before submitting your answer.

I think the indestructible agent who fought the Mysterons

is Captain Scarlet.

Then you've got Captain Mainwaring is on the Home Guard.

Then Captain Jack from Torchwood.

I'm not sure but I think possibly the bottom one,

cartoon enemy is Captain Pugwash, maybe.

I think I'm going to go with Captain Scarlet.

OK, very good. Captain Scarlet, you think is going to be the more obscure of those four.

Let's see, Captain Scarlet, is it right?

How many people knew that answer?

Absolutely right.

30.

APPLAUSE

30 for Captain Scarlet.

The highest score of the round, which seems unfair after you filled in the board so neatly there,

and cleverly, if I may say!

-Richard.

-Yes, good round from everyone there.

He was indestructible, Captain Scarlet, as was his nemesis, Captain Black.

Walmington-on-Sea's Home Guard

was led by Captain Mainwaring, you're right, but that would have scored 39.

Torchwood's enigmatic central character,

if you'd said Captain Jack, I wouldn't have given you the points.

I was looking for the surname. It's Captain Harkness.

Would have scored 10 points, that would have been good.

You should have gone for the cartoon enemy of Cut-throat Jake,

you were right, Captain Pugwash,

would have scored you 9 points.

The best answer on the board, Captain Flint,

-which Nicholas gave.

-Thank you. We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at the scores.

Nicholas and Rick,

deservedly low score there, the lowest scorers of the pass,

that lovely answer, Captain Flint.

Then all the way up to 21, Hannah and David. Then up to 30,

where Trev and Simon are. We're going to come back down the line,

can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, we're going to put six more fictional captains on the board,

and here they come. We have got...

I'll read those all one more time.

There we are. Six further fictional captains.

As ever, on Pointless, you're looking to find the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

Simon...

There you are on 30, the high scorers at the moment.

Er, I'm going to go for Jules Verne's Nautilus commander

as Captain Nemo.

Captain Nemo, says Simon. Captain Nemo.

Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many people said it. There's no red line for you

as you are the high scorers.

It's absolutely right.

28.

28 for Nemo takes your total up to 58.

Very interesting now, 58 points, going to be a tough round for you.

The combined forces of Captain Scarlet

and Captain Nemo, scoring 58 points.

David, the high scorers are Simon and Trev,

on 58, you're on 21, that means a target score of 36 for you.

36 or less and you're in the head-to-head.

I'm going to do "appears in the title of an Elton John album."

I think it was Captain Fantastic.

Captain Fantastic.

Captain Fantastic. Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many people said it. There is your red line.

If you get below it, you're in the celebrity head to celebrity head.

It is Captain Fantastic.

Well done.

And you are in the head-to-head, very well done.

-6!

-Well done!

-Brilliant, Dave.

-This is a great score.

27 is your total.

Very well done.

We've had a pointless answer and a 6 from you, David.

Very well done indeed. Richard.

Very well played, David.

The full title, it was Captain Fantastic And The Brown Dirt Cowboy,

-by Elton John.

-Now then, Rick, you're the last person to have this board.

You can talk us through it if you like.

OK. Created by Kenny Everett, I've got a mind blank,

I honestly can't remember it.

Lives in Marlinspike Hall, I can only guess it's Captain Marlinspike,

but that's probably not right. Peter Pan's nemesis is Captain Hook,

but I'm going to go with Poirot's sleuthing partner

as Captain Hastings.

Captain Hastings,

Poirot's sleuthing partner. Captain Hastings, is it right?

How many people said it?

Absolutely right.

And you're through, very well done.

22!

-Takes your total up to 28.

-Well done, well done.

-Great answer.

-Well played, Rick. Captain Hastings appeared

in eight Poirot novels and lots of short stories as well.

Agatha Christie described him as Poirot's Watson,

as you might imagine. Peter Pan's nemesis, you were right about that

but if you'd said it, you'd have been knocked out

because it was Captain Hook but would have scored a fairly mighty 65 points.

Do you remember the captain created by Kenny Everett?

I remember what he looked like, I can't remember what he was called.

-Captain Kremmen. Captain Kremmen, the superhero.

-Oh yes!

Absolutely couldn't bring it to mind but as soon as you hear it...

And who's the captain who lives in Marlinspike Hall?

-Haddock.

-Captain Haddock, absolutely right, from the Tintin books.

Would have scored 1 point, the best answer on that board.

Very well done if you got that, very well done to anyone who got all 12 of those.

Thanks very much, Richard. At the end of Round Two,

the losing celebrity pair with the highest score...

It's weird. Even though I now know you're leaving,

you've still got that aura of winners!

We leave as winners, thank you!

Hang on, can't we do it like the normal Pointless

and we get to come back again tomorrow?

-That'd be nice.

-Let's do that.

-I'd like that.

-Yeah, we should do that.

-I'd love that. Trev, Simon, it's been lovely having you on the show.

-Thank you so much for playing.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Good luck.

-But for the remaining two celebrity pairs,

things are about to get even more exciting

as we enter the head-to-head.

Congratulations, David and Hannah, Nicholas and Rick,

you are now only one round away from the final

and the chance to play for our jackpot which currently stands at...

You're now going to go head to head and the first pair to win two questions

will be playing for that jackpot for their chosen charities.

You are now allowed to confer, that's the other great news

at this part of the game. Very best of luck to all of you.

Let's play the head-to-head!

Here comes your first question and it concerns...

Celebrities when they were young.

-This sound fun, Richard!

-Yes. It's only pictures of them, it's not actually them.

-Still...

-We're about to show you five photographs

of very famous people, but taken when they were children.

Can you identify them and try and give us the most obscure answer, please? Very best of luck.

Thanks very much.

Let's reveal our five celebrities when they were young.

We have got...

OK, so there they are.

Five celebrities from when they were little.

David and Hannah, because you've played best so far,

by one point, you get to go first.

I think go with what...yep.

We're going to go with A and say Jeremy Clarkson.

Jeremy Clarkson for A. A, Jeremy Clarkson.

Nicholas and Rick.

Shall we go for C, Prince Charles?

Well, we know C, it is. We know that's for sure.

D looks awfully like my daughter!

LAUGHTER

I thought E was Beckham at one stage

-but I'm not sure.

-Oh, my gosh.

Oh, I think we're going to have to play what we know, really.

Let's go for what we know.

-Yeah.

-You're going to say C, Prince Charles.

-Yeah.

-So we have David and Hannah saying A is Jeremy Clarkson.

A, Jeremy Clarkson. Is that right and if it is,

how many people said A was Jeremy Clarkson?

It's right.

And it's going to be low.

Go on, David!

12!

APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH

Brilliant.

12 for Jeremy Clarkson.

Nicholas and Rick have said C is Prince Charles.

Let's see if that's right and if it is,

how many people knew that.

Absolutely right.

72.

APPLAUSE

Pretty conclusive there, after one question,

David and Hannah are up 1-0. Richard.

Well played, David and Hannah. Nothing you could have done, it's the best answer on the board,

Jeremy Clarkson. Let's take a look at the rest of them though.

B, any ideas?

-HANNAH:

-Kate Moss?

-Absolutely right.

Would have scored 13 points.

D is Nicholas Parson's daughter.

LAUGHTER

-Not really, it's Kate Winslet.

-Oh, I wondered that!

Well done if you got that at home.

She would have scored you 19.

And E, do you want one final go at this, Rick?

-We thought Beckham.

-We thought it was Beckham.

You are absolutely right, it is David Beckham.

That would have scored you 31 points, David Beckham,

so again, wouldn't have won the points.

Thank you very much. Here comes your second question.

Nicholas and Rick, you have to win this question to stay in the game.

It concerns...

Oh no! Ha ha!

We're going to show you the names of five British cheeses here

-or cheeses commonly associated with Britain.

-I love cheese.

But they are all in anagram form.

Can you solve the anagrams and give us the most obscure answer, please?

-Very best of luck.

-OK, thank you very much.

Let's reveal our five anagrams of British cheeses

and here they are. We have got...

I'll read them all one final time.

There you are. Five British cheeses.

Nicholas and Rick, you go first this time.

Shall we go for the first one or the third one?

I think the first one is probably the most unusual, yes.

We'll go for the first one, "newly sealed", as Wensleydale.

Wensleydale, for "newly sealed", say Nicholas and Rick.

OK, David and Hannah.

OK, we're going to go for the third one down, which is Caerphilly.

Caerphilly, the third one down, "clearly hip".

First we go for "newly sealed", which Nicholas and Rick identified

as Wensleydale. Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

23.

APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH

23. You've got to hope that's enough to keep you in the game.

It's got to be low enough. David and Hannah have come up

with Caerphilly for "clearly hip". Is it Caerphilly?

How many people knew that answer?

It's right. 23 is what it's got to beat.

Still going down.

Yeah, you've done it!

You've done it, you've done it. 10!

10 for Caerphilly.

Very well done, David and Hannah.

After only two questions, you are through to the final,

2-0, brilliant.

Very well played indeed.

-Er, "cad herd" is...

-Cheddar.

-Absolutely right,

would have scored...76. "His cheer"?

-Cheshire.

-Cheshire, absolutely right.

Would have scored 40. "Angry choirs", very well done, anybody at home

-who got this. It is Cornish Yarg.

-Oh, gosh!

-Cornish Yarg.

-A pointless answer.

-I love that cheese.

Yarg, named after the Gray family, Yarg being Gray backwards.

-That is clever.

-That is clever.

Very well done if you got that at home.

Very well done if you make that at home as well!

Thank you very much, Richard! So the losing pair

at the end of the head-to-head, it's Nicholas and Rick!

-AUDIENCE: Aaah...

-Yes, exactly, aaah.

There's so much luck in it. We both knew Caerphilly and Wensleydale,

which will get the lowest, and we went for the wrong one.

-Yeah.

-Luck and judgement!

Yes, we had the judgement and we had the bad luck!

Nicholas and Rick, it's been brilliant having you on the show, thank you for playing.

I'm sorry we have to say goodbye. Great contestants!

A great pleasure!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

For David and Hannah, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Well, congratulations, David and Hannah.

You've seen off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot for your allocated charities.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at...

You have played so well throughout this show.

You have been the lowest scorers in Round One, Round Two

and then a clean sweep in the head-to-head there, 2-0.

You come swanning into the final. You make it look so easy.

-Believe me, it's not!

-Really?

I'm so proud of David getting a pointless and adding to the jackpot.

You know, so if we win that, it's down to him that we've got the extra 250 on it.

-It'll be fantastic.

-The rules are very simple. To win the money

for your charities, all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

We've had one pointless answer on the show today, it was from you.

You only have to find one more. We nearly had another one from you just then.

If you find one more now, in this round, you will go home

with that money for your charities.

First, you've got to choose a category. You have five options.

They are...

-How are you on your countries?

-I've been to one or two.

-Narrows it down then, doesn't it?

-Yes.

-Okey-dokey.

-What do you reckon?

-Well, OK, I really... Elements, eurgh...

In that case, I'd say between Countries and Modern Theatre for me,

-but whatever you...

-Countries and Modern Theatre, right...

-Countries we've got a fair chance at, haven't we?

-Shall we go Countries?

-Why not?

-Let's do it.

-Do you agree?

-Yeah, I agree, that's why I said "yeah".

-Yeah. Let's not fall out at this stage. Countries.

-Countries, OK.

Let's find out what our question's going to be on Countries.

-Here it comes. Best of luck.

-Thanks.

-We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many island nations in the Pacific Ocean as they could.

Island nations in the Pacific Ocean. Richard.

Yeah, we're looking for any country that lies wholly or partly

in the Pacific Ocean and that shares no land borders with any other country.

As always, by country we mean a member of the UN

that is a sovereign state in its own right.

So any island nations in the Pacific Ocean. Very best of luck.

OK, you have up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that £2,750 for your charities

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes, yes.

-Let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are, your time starts now.

-Fiji's the only one I can think of.

-Fiji, okey-dokey.

-Nauru.

-Oh, my gosh, that sounds good.

-I don't know where that is.

-It's a little island.

-In the Pacific? Marvellous.

-American Samoa, I think that exists.

Er...

-Tonga.

-I thought, yes, Tonga...

That's one, isn't it?

-OK.

-Er...

There's millions of them, they're dotted everywhere.

-Nauru, Tonga...

-Nauru definitely exists.

-Tonga and American Samoa.

-Yeah, I think that exists.

-Or just Samoa?

Samoa, I think it's split into two now.

I think Fiji's going to be high up so we ignore that one.

-Let's think of some other...

-Haiti's not, that's in the Caribbean.

Caribbean. It's where all the...

-Easter Islands, they're not Pacific.

-No.

See, I only really know answers that are in the wrong oceans.

-Ten seconds.

-Pitcairn? Is that a country or does that belong to Australia?

It's worth us having a go, we don't lose any points.

Is that a country, I think it belongs to...

OK, your time is up.

We were looking for island nations in the Pacific Ocean.

I now need your three answers.

-Nauru.

-Nauru.

-I think that's how you say it. N-A-U... Nauru!

-Just say it with confidence!

-Nauru!

Nauru, good.

-American Samoa.

-American Samoa.

Yeah. And...what's the other one you said?

-We don't want Fiji, do we? It was the other...

-Tonga?

-Tonga.

-Tonga.

-And Tonga. There we are. Of those three,

which do you think is your best punt at a pointless answer?

Nauru, I've never heard of it!

-Is that right?

-Yeah!

-Oh, is it an island then?

No, I'm sure you're right, I've just never heard of it!

-Put that one last.

-OK, Nauru goes in last.

-What shall we put first? Tonga or American Samoa?

-Tonga.

-Tonga.

-Tonga first, American Samoa in the middle.

-Let's do it.

Let's pop them on the board in that order. Here they are. We have got...

We were looking for island nations in the Pacific Ocean.

Tonga was your least confident shot at a pointless answer.

You only have to find one pointless answer to win the £2,750 jackpot.

OK, so let's see. Tonga, is it right? How many people said it?

Tonga. Good luck.

Yep, it's right. This is your first shot at that jackpot of £2,750.

Down it goes. Tonga.

If this goes all the way down to zero,

you leave here with that money...

-Oh, 7!

-Nauru's got to be good then, hasn't it?

-Yeah.

APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH

-7, that's good.

-That's good.

-It's not pointless but I don't think you were expecting it to be pointless.

-No, I thought it would be higher.

-So did I.

Unfortunately, not a pointless answer,

which means you only have two more shots at today's jackpot

of £2,750. What are your charities? David, what's your charity?

-Cancer Research.

-Very good indeed.

-It's a personal thing.

-Well, a great charity.

-Absolutely.

-Very best of luck.

Hannah, what's your charity?

-Mine is Diabetes UK.

-Another excellent charity.

APPLAUSE

Keeping our fingers tightly crossed that one of your two remaining answers

will win that jackpot for your charities.

OK, we are looking for island nations in the Pacific Ocean.

For £2,750, let's see how many people said American Samoa.

Ah.

-Samoa...

-OK, an incorrect answer as it turns out.

You only need one pointless answer and let's face it, your best answer,

Nauru, there it is, the bottom of the list.

Hannah hadn't heard of it, you were absolutely certain it's correct.

This sounds like a winning combination to me!

OK, we are looking for island nations in the Pacific Ocean,

your third and final answer was Nauru.

How many people said it?

It's right!

OK, Tonga took us all the way down to 7.

American Samoa teased us, turned out to be incorrect.

Nauru, still going down, still going down.

If this goes all the way down to zero...

Yes!

You've done it!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-That is fantastic!

-Very well done!

-David!

-Fabulous.

David, well done!

That's superb, congratulations!

Nauru was a pointless answer, which means you leave here

with the jackpot of £2,750 for your charities. Brilliant.

Fantastic performance. Richard.

Very well done, there's only four pointless answers on the board.

Let's take a look. Very well done anyone at home who said any of the following...

The Federated States Of Micronesia.

Trips off the tongue, doesn't it? The Marshall Islands, there's Nauru,

and the Solomon Islands, all of those are pointless.

Some low-scoring ones, Kiribati, there's Palau,

both of those would have scored 1, Tuvalu would have scored 1 as well.

But those are your four pointless ones.

Samoa was up there, it would have scored 9 but American Samoa is a dependency of the US,

-it's not a country in its own right.

-It does exist though?

It does exist, it's not a country but you couldn't care less, could you?

-Not really at this moment!

-Cos Nauru exists.

Congratulations.

APPLAUSE

Well, thanks once again to our winning celebrities,

David and Hannah, who go away with today's jackpot of £2,750.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Brilliant.

A huge thank you to our other celebrity pairs, Charlotte and Dan,

Trev and Simon, Nicholas and Rick.

Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd