Episode 13 Family Finders


Episode 13

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Families can be driven apart for all manner of reasons.

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I had no information at all about where my mum went.

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And when you do lose touch with your loved ones...

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You don't know who you are, where you've come from.

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..finding them can take a lifetime...

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I might have a brother that's still living here.

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..especially when they could be anywhere, at home or abroad.

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And that's where the Family Finders come in.

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From international organisations...

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Hi, it's the Salvation Army Family Tracing Service.

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..to genealogy detective agencies...

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For someone to say that it's changed their life,

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it makes coming to work, you know, really, really special.

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..and dedicated one-man bands...

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It's a matter of how much effort do you really want to put into it,

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how badly you want to solve the problem.

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..they hunt through history to bring families back together again.

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Finding new family is wonderful.

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In this series, we follow the work of the Family Finders...

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Suddenly, you get that one spark of breakthrough and there they are.

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..learning the tricks they use

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to track missing relatives through time...

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No, I didn't think I would ever find sisters, but I have.

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..and meeting the people whose lives they change along the way.

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I've been waiting to meet John my whole life.

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Since we've met, I feel part of a family again.

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You just completed my life for me.

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Every year, thousands of people in the UK

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begin looking for long-lost family members.

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No two searches are ever quite the same.

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Sometimes, a search will throw up unexpected results

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and often, it takes something unexpected to happen

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in order for a search to succeed.

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Today, we follow a hunt for long-lost siblings

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that had all but failed

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until a chance conversation changed everything.

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She said, "Tess, I need to talk to you."

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And I thought, "Whatever has happened?"

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She said, "I think I know your half-sister."

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And we meet the man who,

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while searching for records of his mother,

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discovered something that would change his life forever.

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I stood behind him and I just tapped him on the shoulder

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and I said to him, "Where have you been all my life?"

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Tessa Dulman and her sister, Jan, live in the West Country.

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Along with their brother, Cecil,

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they were raised in Bath and Somerset

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by William Hart, a violinist, and their mother, Paulina.

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Well, I was born in 1940, the beginning of the war.

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-Tess was born...

-1945.

-1945.

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They grew up in a warm and loving household,

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but their contented childhood was shattered

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when their beloved father's health suddenly deteriorated.

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When I was about nine, he got very ill, I remember.

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-One day, we drove him to Frenchay Hospital.

-I was...

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15, I think, and that was a shock because he was at home

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and then three days later, he was dead.

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Terribly sad when Daddy died and I can remember it, you know,

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vividly. And Mummy really had to work very hard after that.

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She was a secretary and I think times were quite tough

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and she was extremely good to us.

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The sudden death of their father from cancer rocked

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the sisters' lives and there was more shocking news to come.

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A good friend of mine said to me, like a bombshell,

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"Did you know your mum and dad were divorced?"

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And I said, "That's rubbish."

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She said, "No, they were. They were divorced."

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I found it strange that they were divorced

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but living together in the same house.

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But I accepted it cos you do accept things.

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But that wasn't the only revelation about their father

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that came to light.

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My mother said to me, "You actually have a half-brother

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"and sister, twins," which I was completely amazed.

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It sort of stuck in my mind and it was really never mentioned again.

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Tessa and Jan's parents were still living

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together despite being divorced.

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At the same time, their father was having a relationship with

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a fellow musician called Rosemary.

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She was to bear him a twin son and daughter,

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babies he would never meet due to his untimely death.

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It came to my mind a lot about my half-brother and sister,

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but with my mother, obviously still alive, there was

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no way I would want to, you know, go any further.

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But some years later, after their brother had emigrated to America

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and their mother had died, the sisters decided to do some digging.

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We were looking in phone books...

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I looked in the phone book and I thought, "Well, that's ridiculous.

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"It's highly unlikely they are down here."

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After a brief but unsuccessful search,

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the sisters stopped looking for the twins.

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But somebody else had got the bit between their teeth.

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Tess' husband, Alan, was intrigued by the family history

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and decided to carry out some secret research of his own.

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I knew that they weren't born before he died

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and I knew that he had died in December 1954.

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So, initially, I kind of had an nine-month window in 1955

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that they were going to be born sometime.

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Alan began his search at the local register office.

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I knew they were twins.

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There weren't that many twins born in that period in Bath.

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Their mother, we knew lived in the Larkhall area of Bath,

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so I found them quite quickly.

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After this breakthrough,

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Alan brought his secret search out into the open.

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He broke the news to Tessa and Jan that he had found

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a record of his half-brother and sister's births.

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And then we saw the names, so that made it really quite real then.

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We thought, "Oh, my God." But then we didn't know

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where they were or anything about it, did we?

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Could have been anywhere.

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The twins' birth certificates revealed their full names.

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Christopher William Theodore Hart and Jennifer Diane Hart,

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which meant Alan could move his search right up to the present day.

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I thought, "Well, the best route to find them would really be

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"to look for Christopher,"

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because, hopefully, his surname will still be Hart.

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Then I went on the electoral register and got the postcode

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and I said to Tess, "Well, I could probably get the address,

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"but what do we do? Knock on the door and say,

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" 'Hello, Chris. I'm your half-sister.' " You can't do that.

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Because you don't know whether they know anything about us.

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The postcode they found was in Bristol,

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just a few miles away from where Alan and Tessa live.

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However, the sisters couldn't decide how to go about making

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the next move.

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But could fate be about to take that decision out of their hands?

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-Who would have thought this would have happened?

-Yeah, I know.

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It is so bizarre, isn't it?

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CRYING

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For most people, having family around us

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is something we take for granted,

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but for some, growing up completely alone is a reality.

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78-year-old Fred O'Donnell has lived in Bradford for 52 years.

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Here, he has raised his own happy family,

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including daughters Theresa and Patricia.

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But the story of his own upbringing couldn't be more different.

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It began in Ireland in the 1940s.

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My dad, at the age of 15 months, was taken

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to Eccles Street Orphanage by his grandmother.

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They held him there for a few weeks till they found a foster parent

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and then he was boarded out to four different people

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over four years.

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And the last one wasn't looking after him correctly.

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And that's when he was found on the streets of Dublin

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and taken to the court

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and charged with receiving alms, which is basically begging.

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Judge said, "I will sentence you to eight years.

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"That's your sentence for begging."

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At the age of eight, Fred was sent Artane Industrial School,

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which housed boys up to the age of 14,

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often sent there for minor offences.

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It was run by a Roman Catholic congregation called

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the Christian Brothers.

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800 or 900 children there and, you know,

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various different ages, but very strict.

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Bed early and up early in the morning.

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And hail, rain or snow, 6.30 in the morning.

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-And you still get up at 6.30 in the morning.

-I do, yeah.

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-Hm.

-Hm.

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The school operated from 1870 to 1969

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and was notorious for its tough regime.

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You got a number and my number was 12198

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and I've always told that to my children,

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but, you know, they never believed me

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until some paperwork came through and I saw it on there, 12198.

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It's like being in an army or in a jail.

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And that number will stick to me to the rest of my days.

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-12198.

-You were known as 12198, not Fred.

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Yeah. 12198. They didn't call you by your name, you were a number.

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In 2009, an investigation launched by the Irish government

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published the Ryan report.

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It revealed accounts of systematic neglect and abuse

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within schools like Artane.

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Christian Brothers were hard in them days, very hard.

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You didn't really think anything about life, you just...carry on.

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That's the way life is.

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And carry on Fred did,

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until, at the age of 16, he was allowed to leave the institution

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and make his own way in the world.

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Leaving the school was the best days of my life.

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Glad to get out of it after eight years.

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Fred worked on a farm in Ireland for a few years

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then emigrated to England.

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In 1963, settled in Bradford,

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had a family

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and they are grown-up, they have children of their own.

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I felt very happy because I didn't know any of my own parents,

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which was nice to have a family of your own.

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Everything worked out as happy as I wanted it.

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But there was always something missing.

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Fred wanted to know more about his mother.

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And his daughter Theresa was more than happy to help.

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The reason why I started doing all this is

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my dad is a very shy person.

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He's not, obviously, computer literate with things

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and I really wanted it for my dad.

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The first thing she did was apply for his birth certificate.

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Born Pelletstown, County Dublin.

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And it says my mother's name,

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which was Julia O'Donnell

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and father's name not stated.

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Probably because she was outside of wedlock, I don't know.

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They had Fred's mother's name,

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but when Theresa tried to trace Julia O'Donnell, she drew a blank

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until a chance encounter gave her a hot new lead.

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In April 2013,

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I went into hospital to have an operation

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and the porter was an Irish man. And, as you do, you get talking.

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He was asking about my dad

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and I explained that he was in Artane Industrial School,

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born in a mother-and-baby home.

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And he gave me some groups on social networking sites

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to get in touch with.

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I did that and a lady got in touch with me

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and she has helped us tremendously.

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Got loads of documents and then actually found out through

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the Magdalene Research Project that my nan was in a Magdalene laundry.

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In 1942, while Fred was put into the orphanage,

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his mum, Julia, was sent to a Catholic-run institution

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for so-called fallen women -

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a Magdalene laundry.

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These notorious homes were widespread in Ireland

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from the 18th to the late 20th centuries.

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An estimated 30,000 women were confined in them.

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They did laundry for the prisons,

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and all the laundry was done by hand, no machines.

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Were there from crack of dawn, late at night and even

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when they were heavily pregnant, they were still in the laundries.

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Until the day they gave birth, they were in the laundry,

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washing by hand.

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They never got paid for doing these jobs.

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Some of the women were so institutionalised

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that they remained doing hard labour in the laundries all their lives.

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And Julia's death certificate revealed she was one of them.

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She was in there from an early age and never came out of it.

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Just because she had had a baby, was unmarried.

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It just doesn't seem feasible that there are places like this.

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The last Magdalene laundry closed in 1996

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and that's not that long ago.

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The research also revealed a final resting place for Fred's mother.

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When I went to see the grave for the very first time, it was sad.

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We let my dad go on his own

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and he put his hand on top of the grave and said, "Hello, Mum."

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And that was just it, me and my sister just broke down.

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Just to see my dad visiting his mum for the first time, heartbreaking.

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You don't want to see your parents go through that at all.

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-You don't want to wish anybody to go through that, really.

-No.

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The headstone was inscribed with the name Frances O'Donnell,

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which explained why Fred's mum had been so difficult to trace.

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When she was in the Magdalene home,

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they changed her name from Julia to Frances.

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And that could never be taken off the headstone.

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That's what they did with the ladies of the laundries,

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when they went in, they stripped them of their identities,

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of all the past life. That's their punishment.

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"You're not that same person now. You are in our charge."

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Very emotional. Very sad.

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I didn't think I would ever see the day that I would see the grave,

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you know?

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But I had a few tears.

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Fred, at last, had some answers about what had happened in his early

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years, but the research had thrown up another incredible revelation.

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A bit shocked to find out there's another

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member of the O'Donnell family somewhere lurking around.

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Fred's quest to find his family wasn't over yet.

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I've been searching for three years,

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just can't believe how it's come to this.

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Unlike Fred, sisters Tessa and Jan have known

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they had half-siblings, but they knew very little else about them.

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Their search had revealed their names, Jennifer and Christopher.

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They had even turned up a possible address for their half-brother

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just a few miles away in Bristol.

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There the search had stalled as the sisters couldn't decide how

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or even if they should make contact.

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You can't do that because you don't know

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whether they know anything about us.

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That was until Tessa received a bolt from the blue.

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I had a phone call from a really close friend of mine, Jane,

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and she said, "Tess, I'm going to take you to lunch.

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"I need to talk to." So we went out to lunch,

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she said, "Now, take it easy. Take a sip of wine." She said,

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"I think I know your half-sister."

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And I just stared at her and I said, "Well, what do you mean?"

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And she said, "Well, look, I've known you for 30 years

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"and I've know Jenny, not so well, but I've known her for 20 years."

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Jenny and Tessa that not only had a mutual friend,

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they also shared a maiden name, Hart.

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So, she said, "I was at a garden party." I think Jane said,

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"Oh, is Hart a Bath name?" And Jenny said, "Well, I don't know.

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"I think so. Why do you ask?"

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And she said, "Because my great friend is Tess Hart."

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And she said Jenny did a double take.

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She said she will never forget Jenny's face.

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And she said, "I was driving home and I was thinking,

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" 'Why was Jenny looking at me like that?' "

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And she said, "I suddenly thought, 'Oh, my God, I think

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" 'somewhere along the line, Tessa said she had a half-sister.' "

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And she thought, "Well, it couldn't possibly be Jenny.

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"Because Tessa said they were twins."

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She said, "By the time I got home,

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"I thought, 'My God, she's got a twin brother!'"

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Jenny did indeed have a twin brother called Christopher

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who lived in Bristol.

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They too were aware that they had long-lost siblings

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who, after that chance conversation at a garden party,

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no longer seemed quite so lost.

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The penny dropped and I thought,

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"Wow, this is more than coincidence."

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And I was so excited, but I didn't let on,

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but inside, I was just bubbling over.

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So, I phoned Jan and said, "You are never going to believe this."

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And Jan said, "Well, it may not be her."

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And I phoned my brother and he said,

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"That's too much of a coincidence."

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There was only one way to make sure.

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Their mutual friend arranged a meeting between Jenny and Tessa.

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I was watching from the conservatory and I saw this car pull up

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and this lady get out and I felt so emotional. I thought,

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"She looks like my father."

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So, of course, I was shaking, absolutely shaking.

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I went round with a picture of our father...

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..and knocked on the door and Tessa answered...

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We sat down and she got her handbag

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and she took a photograph out

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and said, "This was my daddy who died before I was born."

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And she handed it to me and it was my father.

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So you can imagine what actually went on. Terrible scene.

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And she burst into tears and then I burst into tears.

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It was just tears all the way.

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We just were hugging each other

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and just couldn't believe it.

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60 years ago, Jenny and Chris's mother, Rosemary, had

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met their father, William,

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fallen in love and fallen pregnant with twins.

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They didn't know she was having twins,

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so I came first and then they said,

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-"Oh, my God, there's another one."

-Yeah.

0:18:380:18:40

And then Christopher came later.

0:18:400:18:42

But their father would never get to see his youngest children.

0:18:440:18:48

Our father died before we were born, about three months,

0:18:480:18:51

so we were primarily brought up by my mother and my grandmother.

0:18:510:18:55

To find that you're a widow and you have twins,

0:18:560:19:01

you have no money,

0:19:010:19:03

you must be feeling displaced and you've lost the person you love.

0:19:030:19:07

What kind of future can you actually look forward to?

0:19:070:19:10

Their mother worked a string of jobs to support them,

0:19:100:19:13

but money was tight.

0:19:130:19:15

Our mother was struggling.

0:19:150:19:18

Each day was really difficult, she had to take any

0:19:180:19:20

jobs that she could find.

0:19:200:19:22

She worked in the builder's yard as a receptionist at one point. She...

0:19:220:19:28

..made curtains and did upholstery at home.

0:19:280:19:32

Actually, she worked in the betting office at one time.

0:19:320:19:35

Despite working hard, Rosemary struggled to make ends meet.

0:19:360:19:41

My very first memory was actually Mum having to sell

0:19:410:19:46

the violins and the cellos in order to support us.

0:19:460:19:51

She was always concerned that even if

0:19:510:19:54

we didn't have any of the materialistic things, that we were

0:19:540:19:57

sort of going to be well-rounded and loved and sort of...

0:19:570:20:00

and looked after.

0:20:000:20:01

However, growing up in a single-parent family

0:20:020:20:05

in the 1950s and '60s was undoubtedly tough.

0:20:050:20:09

I certainly felt the stigma.

0:20:090:20:11

My grandmother sometimes would take us to school

0:20:110:20:14

and I didn't like being taken...

0:20:140:20:17

I wanted to have a father to take me to school.

0:20:170:20:19

-I was bullied a lot.

-Yeah.

0:20:200:20:23

Erm...because we didn't have a father.

0:20:230:20:28

Because we couldn't afford to go on school trips and things like that

0:20:290:20:33

and because we had a grandmother living with us.

0:20:330:20:37

School life wasn't particularly pleasant for me, I must say.

0:20:370:20:40

Rosemary was determined that Chris and Jenny

0:20:410:20:44

would never forget their father, William.

0:20:440:20:46

It's very sad to know that we...

0:20:460:20:51

you know, our father had died of course and we never knew him

0:20:510:20:54

but our mother did keep his spirit alive...

0:20:540:20:59

..by taking us to places where they used to go.

0:21:000:21:04

Showing us photographs.

0:21:040:21:06

They both played the violin together

0:21:060:21:09

and that's how they were...first met or introduced.

0:21:090:21:13

Music wasn't in our lives until we were five

0:21:130:21:17

and Mum explained that that was a grieving process for her.

0:21:170:21:23

So we didn't really...

0:21:230:21:27

..know more about that until much later.

0:21:280:21:31

Then when she started to come out of the grief...

0:21:310:21:36

..it was very special and music was just in our lives all the time then.

0:21:370:21:42

Their mother spent years mourning the memory of their father

0:21:430:21:47

but she had always been honest with her children about his other family.

0:21:470:21:52

Our mother explained that we had another brother and two sisters

0:21:520:21:56

but she didn't know a huge amount as to where they lived

0:21:560:22:00

or what they were doing.

0:22:000:22:02

The only information I ever knew

0:22:020:22:06

was that there was a possibility that all three lived in America.

0:22:060:22:10

I remember that there was a Theresa and a Janice and a Cecil

0:22:120:22:16

but we didn't know where.

0:22:160:22:17

And of course in the '50s they didn't talk about it really.

0:22:170:22:21

I don't think she knew too much anyway about his previous marriage.

0:22:210:22:25

I think she would have struggled trying to give us a larger picture.

0:22:250:22:30

And also, I didn't want to feel as if I was being disloyal towards her

0:22:300:22:35

by wanting to know more about my other brothers and sisters.

0:22:350:22:40

So...

0:22:400:22:42

It only really happened in our adult life that Jenny and I

0:22:420:22:45

would start to talk about it and go, "I wonder where they are?"

0:22:450:22:48

It intrigued me, I must say. It really did.

0:22:480:22:52

I was fascinated and it was like a jigsaw puzzle.

0:22:520:22:54

There were a lot of missing pieces.

0:22:540:22:56

Now, thanks to a passing comment at a garden party,

0:22:570:23:01

the 60-year-old family jigsaw has finally been completed.

0:23:010:23:04

And after Tessa and Jenny's initial meeting,

0:23:050:23:08

all four of them got together for the first time.

0:23:080:23:12

Tessa and I organised meeting in Bath with Janice, with Jan,

0:23:120:23:17

and Chris.

0:23:170:23:19

We met in Bath and that was quite an experience too,

0:23:190:23:24

to see our other sister.

0:23:240:23:25

It's just so strange to think that is my half sister.

0:23:250:23:29

I never dreamt that this would happen.

0:23:290:23:31

Never dreamt that we'd meet them, quite honestly.

0:23:310:23:34

And they've been so warm and so welcoming.

0:23:340:23:37

We were shouting and screaming and whooping, you know.

0:23:370:23:40

-Jenny was overwhelmed for months.

-Yes, I was.

0:23:400:23:43

I'm far more of a cooler customer.

0:23:430:23:46

And he was gobsmacked.

0:23:460:23:47

I think he took a long time to get to grips with it all.

0:23:470:23:50

-Yeah.

-And the funny thing was,

0:23:500:23:51

the three of us were in identical clothes.

0:23:510:23:54

-White trousers, white sandals and floral tops.

-Floral tops.

0:23:540:23:57

A year after finding each other,

0:24:010:24:03

today marks another very significant occasion

0:24:030:24:06

for the four half-siblings.

0:24:060:24:08

They are meeting to make a special visit

0:24:080:24:10

to the grave of the father they all share.

0:24:100:24:12

It'll be the first time they have all been there together

0:24:140:24:17

and for Jenny, it will be her first visit ever.

0:24:170:24:20

I think Mum didn't take me because she knew I'd get upset

0:24:210:24:25

and get emotional and then we'd both be very emotional.

0:24:250:24:30

Who would have thought this would have happened?

0:24:310:24:33

-It's so bizarre, isn't it?

-I know.

0:24:330:24:35

So this time, well, 18 months ago...

0:24:350:24:38

-We didn't know them.

-..it just wasn't going on, was it?

0:24:380:24:41

Today, I'm really excited.

0:24:410:24:44

It's been a while since I've seen the two sisters.

0:24:440:24:47

I think the last time, the only time, I went to my father's grave

0:24:470:24:50

was when I was in my late teens and so it's been a long time.

0:24:500:24:55

I'm very excited about meeting up with the girls again.

0:24:550:24:59

Hello!

0:25:040:25:06

Oh, gosh!

0:25:080:25:09

-Lovely to see you.

-And you.

0:25:120:25:14

-You look really well.

-And you, of course.

0:25:140:25:17

But before they visit their father's grave,

0:25:170:25:19

there's time to exchange some very special family memories.

0:25:190:25:23

Jenny's brought a gift that their father once gave to her mother.

0:25:230:25:28

I've brought something to show you. I hadn't shown you before

0:25:280:25:30

because I felt it was a little bit on the sensitive side.

0:25:300:25:34

But I thought you'd love to see them, so...

0:25:340:25:37

Oh, my goodness.

0:25:370:25:39

So there's that little one.

0:25:390:25:40

Oh, that's quite beautiful, isn't it?

0:25:400:25:42

And those are our daddy's words.

0:25:430:25:45

-JAN:

-Oh, that's his writing OK, isn't it? "Always love you."

0:25:460:25:49

"Magic is in your soul."

0:25:490:25:51

"In your soul." "You are the loveliest of all."

0:25:510:25:54

-Oh, Daddy.

-It's very sad.

0:25:540:25:57

-Right, we have got a few photographs here.

-OK.

0:26:000:26:04

We have...

0:26:040:26:06

That's our dear mother with Cecil there.

0:26:060:26:09

Oh, she's beautiful.

0:26:090:26:11

That definitely looks like me.

0:26:110:26:13

There's Daddy...and Mummy.

0:26:130:26:17

Gosh, look at him.

0:26:170:26:18

He's got a lot more weight on him there

0:26:180:26:20

than some of the pictures we've got, I think.

0:26:200:26:22

-You've got later ones, you say?

-Yeah.

0:26:220:26:25

The first time we saw him together, eh?

0:26:300:26:33

Yes.

0:26:330:26:34

And there's Daddy.

0:26:410:26:42

-JAN:

-Are you all right?

0:26:500:26:52

-OK?

-Yeah.

0:26:580:26:59

Oh, Dad.

0:27:070:27:09

It's quite sad, isn't it, Jan?

0:27:090:27:11

SNIFFLING

0:27:180:27:21

-JENNY SOBS

-Come here.

0:27:210:27:23

-What's so sad, I think...

-SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY

0:27:310:27:35

A few memories.

0:27:350:27:37

-At least I've got them...

-Yeah, exactly.

-..now for you and Jenny.

0:27:370:27:40

So there we are, Dad.

0:27:410:27:43

We've all finally made it.

0:27:450:27:48

-JAN AND TESSA:

-Yeah.

0:27:480:27:49

I used to come here quite a bit and there would be flowers on the grave.

0:27:550:28:00

They were lovely yellow roses

0:28:000:28:01

and we didn't know who was putting them on there

0:28:010:28:04

but of course now we realise it was your mum.

0:28:040:28:06

Yeah, that's right because she loved yellow roses as well, so that's a...

0:28:060:28:11

Yeah.

0:28:110:28:13

After searching for each other for over 20 years,

0:28:130:28:16

Jenny, Chris, Tessa and Jan are united in memory of their father.

0:28:160:28:21

There's a part of me that really wishes we could have met him,

0:28:230:28:26

really could have had some memory of him

0:28:260:28:29

cos it clearly comes across

0:28:290:28:33

how kind he was and how much of a gentle person he was.

0:28:330:28:36

And...

0:28:370:28:38

Sorry.

0:28:400:28:41

All of us have taken great value out of going through this process today.

0:28:420:28:49

It was very powerful for me, the emotions.

0:28:490:28:52

One, cos I had never seen it before.

0:28:520:28:55

To see his name and to have our siblings all together

0:28:550:29:00

was just truly wonderful.

0:29:000:29:02

I think Daddy would have been really happy that we've found each other.

0:29:030:29:07

And the four of us standing there, it was just lovely. Just lovely.

0:29:070:29:10

THEY CHAT

0:29:100:29:13

Fred O'Donnell spent his childhood

0:29:230:29:25

in various Irish institutions for boys in the 1940s.

0:29:250:29:29

He'd been searching for the mother he never knew.

0:29:290:29:32

Fred had discovered she'd been confined

0:29:320:29:35

in one of the Magdalene laundries,

0:29:350:29:37

notorious homes for so-called fallen women.

0:29:370:29:40

He had also found out that she had died in 1996.

0:29:410:29:45

But documents received as part of the investigation

0:29:450:29:48

had revealed an interesting detail.

0:29:480:29:50

Fred wasn't his mother, Julia's, only child.

0:29:510:29:55

She had given birth to another baby three years before Fred,

0:29:550:29:59

in the Bethany mother-and-child home in Dublin.

0:29:590:30:02

The paperwork said there was a girl, so we were a bit shocked at that

0:30:020:30:07

to find out there's another member of the O'Donnell family

0:30:070:30:09

somewhere lurking around.

0:30:090:30:12

And we got in touch with somebody from the Bethany Home.

0:30:120:30:17

He did research and said, "No, it's not a girl.

0:30:170:30:20

"It's a boy and he's called Jimmy."

0:30:200:30:22

And you're working out their ages and you think,

0:30:220:30:25

"Could there be a possibility he's still alive?"

0:30:250:30:28

Helped by his daughter Theresa,

0:30:290:30:31

they managed to establish that his brother, Jimmy, was still alive

0:30:310:30:35

and that he too had left Ireland for England.

0:30:350:30:38

I contacted a department in Ireland,

0:30:390:30:42

it's like our National Insurance department.

0:30:420:30:45

They had an address for him but living in England.

0:30:450:30:51

But because of data protection, which I can understand,

0:30:510:30:55

they would not give me his address.

0:30:550:30:58

We were so near but yet so far.

0:30:580:31:01

If they could just give us the town,

0:31:010:31:03

I could have done a search that way, you know?

0:31:030:31:06

That's all the little thing I needed.

0:31:060:31:08

The search had ground to a halt.

0:31:080:31:10

The family's last throw of the dice was to appeal to the public

0:31:100:31:14

and finally they got a call.

0:31:140:31:17

It wasn't long-lost uncle Jimmy

0:31:170:31:19

but it was a family finding company who thought they could help.

0:31:190:31:24

Caseworker Amy Littlechild took up the search and found a ray of hope.

0:31:240:31:29

We contacted a government body

0:31:290:31:31

to see if they had any information on James.

0:31:310:31:35

They came back to us saying that the result was positive

0:31:350:31:37

and that they'd potentially found a match.

0:31:370:31:40

So what we did is we asked them if they could forward on a letter

0:31:400:31:43

for us, in the hope that James would make contact.

0:31:430:31:48

It's hard doing the search to try and trace someone

0:31:480:31:50

but it's even worse with the long wait of knowing that your letter

0:31:500:31:55

has been sent to them but waiting for them to make contact with you.

0:31:550:31:59

It's always a little bit gruelling

0:31:590:32:01

knowing that they're out there somewhere

0:32:010:32:03

and they could potentially in the next couple of days

0:32:030:32:05

be speaking with you on the phone.

0:32:050:32:07

But in this instance, they didn't have to wait long for a response.

0:32:070:32:12

I received an e-mail.

0:32:120:32:14

I was at work, I opened the e-mail and it said,

0:32:140:32:17

"We've found your dad's brother."

0:32:170:32:20

I couldn't quite believe what I was reading.

0:32:200:32:23

He works in a bar in Cheltenham and I thought,

0:32:230:32:26

"80 years of age working in a bar?

0:32:260:32:29

"Mmm, this is...

0:32:290:32:31

"I think they've got the wrong person here, surely, 80 years."

0:32:310:32:34

But, no, he works in a bar.

0:32:340:32:36

Theresa couldn't wait to break the news to her dad.

0:32:360:32:40

She said, "I've got some news for you." And I said, "What is it?"

0:32:400:32:44

She said, "We've found him." I said, "Found who?"

0:32:440:32:48

She said, "We've found your brother."

0:32:480:32:50

And again...

0:32:520:32:53

It's grand to know that at least I have someone in my life

0:32:530:32:58

you know, apart from my own family and stuff like that.

0:32:580:33:02

But thinking that maybe I would never have anyone belong to me.

0:33:020:33:08

Theresa was the first to make contact with Fred's brother, Jimmy.

0:33:080:33:12

I was working away in the pub and the bar manager said,

0:33:120:33:17

"Oh, Jimmy, there's a phone call for you.

0:33:170:33:19

"They're people from up the north."

0:33:190:33:21

I said, "I know nobody from up the north."

0:33:210:33:24

And certainly these people told me who they were.

0:33:240:33:27

"And we've been looking for you, Jimmy, for the last two years."

0:33:270:33:31

I said, "Hello?

0:33:310:33:33

"Can I call you Uncle Jimmy?

0:33:330:33:36

And he said, "Sure you can."

0:33:360:33:38

Well, I'll tell you the honest truth, I was jumping over the moon.

0:33:380:33:42

I was so happy and I said, "Oh, good.

0:33:420:33:45

"It's good to know I've got somebody belong to me."

0:33:450:33:47

That's what I said.

0:33:470:33:48

I have to admit, I did shed a few tears.

0:33:480:33:51

Jimmy was born three years before Fred in a mother-and-baby home.

0:33:530:33:57

But as a toddler, he was put into an orphanage called Ovoca Manor

0:33:570:34:02

in southern Ireland.

0:34:020:34:03

When they put me into the orphan home I often asked,

0:34:040:34:08

"Well, where's my mother and father?"

0:34:080:34:10

And I was never, never told.

0:34:100:34:13

There was no respect.

0:34:130:34:15

We used to have good times and good singing

0:34:150:34:17

and we had three meals a day.

0:34:170:34:19

So, in that sense, we were all right.

0:34:190:34:23

But sometimes, if we got out of control, we knew about it.

0:34:230:34:27

I have to admit that.

0:34:270:34:29

And we didn't get off with it light either.

0:34:290:34:32

We all worked hard in the manor.

0:34:320:34:36

We used to do all the cleaning, the avenues and the garden as well

0:34:360:34:39

and the greenhouse. And look after the cattle as well.

0:34:390:34:42

Jimmy left the orphanage and moved to England by himself aged just 16.

0:34:440:34:50

Not having a family, sometimes I cried my eyes out

0:34:500:34:53

because I used to say,

0:34:530:34:55

"Jimmy, they you are in the world all by yourself.

0:34:550:34:58

"Nowhere to turn to."

0:34:580:35:01

I've never looked back on anybody to support me or anything.

0:35:020:35:05

I always did it myself.

0:35:050:35:07

I never married because I found out that women are too expensive.

0:35:090:35:15

I just said, "Jimmy, stay single."

0:35:150:35:18

I would like to have a family, yeah.

0:35:180:35:21

But it's never happened.

0:35:210:35:24

By 1972, Jimmy had been in England for 27 years.

0:35:250:35:30

That year, he returned to Ireland for a reunion with his mother,

0:35:300:35:34

arranged by his orphanage.

0:35:340:35:36

By this time, Julia had been in the Magdalene laundry for 33 years.

0:35:370:35:43

I only met my mother once and she said to me,

0:35:430:35:49

"I'm sorry, Jimmy, but you're not allowed to visit me in the convent.

0:35:490:35:54

"I'm under very strict orders."

0:35:540:35:57

And that was the last time I saw her.

0:35:570:36:00

There wasn't a warm welcome or anything there.

0:36:000:36:03

I said to myself, "Well, if I'm not allowed to go and visit, Jimmy,

0:36:030:36:08

"forget about it."

0:36:080:36:09

That was it.

0:36:100:36:12

Jimmy returned to his life in England,

0:36:120:36:14

oblivious that he had a brother who would go on to track him down

0:36:140:36:18

all those years later.

0:36:180:36:20

So, they made it their business to come down and see me.

0:36:200:36:23

They made a date and they came down and we had a wonderful reunion.

0:36:230:36:28

At first, a bit wary because you don't know, after 80 years,

0:36:290:36:33

I mean, he's 80 and I thought,

0:36:330:36:35

"Now, what do you say to a person like that?"

0:36:350:36:37

So we met up and I stood behind him

0:36:370:36:40

and I just tapped him on the shoulder and I said to him,

0:36:400:36:43

"Where have you been all my life?"

0:36:430:36:45

That broke the ice and we were quite happy.

0:36:450:36:48

I knew nothing about him and he knew nothing about me,

0:36:480:36:52

so we've collided and that's it.

0:36:520:36:55

We're glad to get together.

0:36:550:36:58

Before Jimmy met his new family,

0:37:010:37:03

holidays and celebrations could be a little bleak.

0:37:030:37:07

When it comes up to Christmas, sometimes I do without it.

0:37:070:37:10

But this year, Fred and Theresa are organising a special celebration

0:37:110:37:16

so that Jimmy can experience his very first

0:37:160:37:18

O'Donnell family Christmas.

0:37:180:37:20

Fred and his daughters, Theresa and Patricia,

0:37:210:37:24

have travelled from Bradford to Cheltenham.

0:37:240:37:26

I wonder how Uncle Jimmy is this morning.

0:37:280:37:30

-Excited for his Christmas dinner.

-Yeah.

0:37:300:37:33

Number one, top of the world.

0:37:330:37:35

'Absolutely feeling excited with the family coming.'

0:37:350:37:38

-How are you feeling?

-Oh, I'm feeling all right. Top of the morning.

0:37:380:37:42

THEY LAUGH

0:37:420:37:44

Excited for the first Christmas.

0:37:440:37:46

I'm not nervous at all.

0:37:460:37:47

I'm just looking forward to the family coming.

0:37:470:37:51

And I'm sitting down to a lovely lunch.

0:37:510:37:54

This will be a good Christmas.

0:37:540:37:56

It'll be the best Christmas I think I ever had.

0:37:560:37:58

Do you know, it seems more emotional, I think,

0:37:580:38:03

than the first time we met him.

0:38:030:38:06

It probably will be, yeah.

0:38:060:38:07

It was worthwhile living this year

0:38:070:38:11

and to meet them.

0:38:110:38:13

Now you know that you have someone belong to you now,

0:38:130:38:18

a family now.

0:38:180:38:20

-Hello.

-Hello!

0:38:320:38:34

-How are you? Are you all right?

-Yeah, are you?

0:38:340:38:37

-Yeah. Good to see.

-It's good to see you.

0:38:370:38:40

-All right?

-Yeah, fine.

-That's good.

0:38:400:38:43

And look at these two.

0:38:430:38:46

-How are you?

-Good to see you.

-It's good to see.

0:38:460:38:49

It's good to see you.

0:38:490:38:51

-PATRICIA:

-How are you?

0:38:510:38:53

I'm great. Excited that you've come here today.

0:38:530:38:56

Woohoo! Woohoo!

0:38:580:39:00

-Get yourself sat down.

-SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY

0:39:010:39:04

A nice Christmas together, Uncle Jimmy.

0:39:040:39:06

Merry Christmas to you all.

0:39:060:39:08

And to you.

0:39:080:39:09

Oh, here we are. Wha-hey!

0:39:090:39:12

Thank you.

0:39:120:39:14

It's taken 80 years

0:39:140:39:16

but Jimmy can finally enjoy Christmas lunch with his family.

0:39:160:39:20

-Ready?

-One, two...

-THEY CHEER

0:39:220:39:26

Christmas is not Christmas without a hat, Uncle Jimmy.

0:39:260:39:29

-There you go, sweetheart.

-Thank you.

0:39:290:39:31

Anyway, Jimmy, this is your first Christmas dinner.

0:39:320:39:35

-That's right, yeah.

-Together as brothers.

0:39:350:39:37

-Yeah, looking forward to it.

-Lovely, isn't it?

0:39:370:39:39

Let's hope we have many more to come.

0:39:390:39:41

-I'm thoroughly enjoying it.

-Good.

0:39:410:39:43

I just want to wish everybody a merry Christmas,

0:39:430:39:47

-a happy new year...

-Happy new year!

0:39:470:39:49

-..and lots more...

-Merry Christmas!

0:39:490:39:52

-Merry Christmas, Uncle Jimmy.

-..lots more Christmases together.

0:39:520:39:56

And these brothers aren't just back together for Christmas,

0:39:560:40:00

they're back together for life.

0:40:000:40:02

-Are you going to go over to Ireland again, are you?

-Of course I am.

0:40:020:40:06

We'll all go together next year. We'll take you. Yeah?

0:40:060:40:09

-Yeah and...people over there.

-We'll have a family holiday.

0:40:090:40:12

-No chasing the women now.

-Oh, yes, plenty...

0:40:120:40:14

Oh, no, no, no, no. You're not getting us locked up.

0:40:140:40:17

- Keep away from the women.

0:40:170:40:18

All right.

0:40:180:40:20

-Now then, big brother.

-Amen.

-Amen.

0:40:200:40:23

Thank you.

0:40:230:40:25

And today, there's another first for the brothers.

0:40:260:40:29

This is your first Christmas present from your little brother...

0:40:290:40:32

-Yeah?

-..in your 80 years...

0:40:320:40:34

Oh, good.

0:40:340:40:35

-Open that.

-..so you have to open this one.

0:40:350:40:39

Oh, yes!

0:40:390:40:40

That keeps in my brain.

0:40:410:40:43

-That keeps your brains in.

-Keeps in my brain.

0:40:430:40:45

Oh. "A marvellous brother who deserves a wish or two."

0:40:490:40:54

-Of course you do.

-LAUGHTER

0:40:540:40:57

"To my big brother..."

0:40:570:40:59

Big? Oh, I didn't think I was big.

0:40:590:41:01

LAUGHTER

0:41:010:41:02

-Oh, yes.

-Come on, brother.

0:41:020:41:04

Oh, yeah.

0:41:040:41:06

Whaa-hey!

0:41:060:41:07

You've got to wear it sideways.

0:41:070:41:09

-Yours is on the straight side.

-That's right.

0:41:090:41:12

-You've got to wear it on the side.

-Oh, yes.

0:41:120:41:15

Like two leprechauns.

0:41:160:41:19

They just need a fishing rod.

0:41:190:41:22

Do you know, speaking of Christmas, when you have people over,

0:41:220:41:27

family all together, the other Christmases that have gone by,

0:41:270:41:31

to be quite honest with you, you might as well not be alive.

0:41:310:41:36

-Yeah.

-All right.

0:41:360:41:38

I've often said it a couple of times.

0:41:380:41:39

But just think, you've got the old man here now, haven't you?

0:41:400:41:44

-Yeah.

-How does that feel?

-Oh, it's great, isn't it?

-Yeah.

0:41:440:41:47

It's great, it really is.

0:41:470:41:49

I just can't believe how it has come to this.

0:41:500:41:54

I've been searching for three years. We're all together.

0:41:540:41:58

Nothing will ever stop that.

0:41:580:41:59

I won't go astray.

0:41:590:42:00

No, we're not going to let you.

0:42:000:42:02

Today may be drawing to a close but Jimmy and Fred are just starting

0:42:020:42:07

a new chapter of their lives...as brothers.

0:42:070:42:10

-Beautiful day, isn't it, Jimmy?

-Yeah, beautiful day.

0:42:100:42:13

We're very thankful for that.

0:42:130:42:14

Let your hair down today. Yeah.

0:42:140:42:17

-It couldn't be any better.

-No, it couldn't have been better.

0:42:170:42:20

My goodness, no.

0:42:200:42:22

'You can't mistake that they're brothers.'

0:42:220:42:25

-Not only in looks but...

-The mannerisms, everything.

0:42:250:42:28

The mannerisms. They're just... They're like two peas in a pod.

0:42:280:42:32

Yeah, we are definitely brothers, ain't we, James?

0:42:320:42:35

-Yeah, we're brothers.

-We're definitely brothers in blood.

0:42:350:42:37

-And forever.

-Yeah.

0:42:370:42:39

Stick together forever.

0:42:390:42:41

-PATRICIA:

-I just hope that anybody else

0:42:420:42:45

-that's going through what we've gone through...

-Stick at it.

0:42:450:42:49

Stick at it and don't back down

0:42:490:42:53

because the outcome is like what we've had today.

0:42:530:42:57

-FRED:

-I did get worried I was going to give it up at one point

0:42:570:43:00

but we carried on and in the end we got him.

0:43:000:43:02

-That's right, yeah.

-Best day of my life.

0:43:020:43:05

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