G-Force

Hey, slow down!

-THUNDER

-Whoa! That is not cool!

Thank you for coming tonight, Darwin.

This room is secure so we can speak freely.

-Why the secrecy?

-Because the Feds are coming tomorrow... to shut us down.

Shut us down?

-Without even giving us a chance?

-Yes.

And there's only one way we can save this department,

and that's prove ourselves, in the field.

Our target is Leonard Saber.

As you know, he is a former arms dealer

and current CEO of Saberling Industries.

The Bureau's intel shows Saber has developed a new microchip

with possible military applications.

They suspect he has sold his technology to the Far East

under the code name... Clusterstorm.

Darwin, we need to find out how Saber plans to use this technology.

Your mission is to download the Clusterstorm files

from Saber's personal computer located in his library, right here.

Ben, we're going to get you that evidence.

We'll prove, once and for all, what we can do.

We'll give 'em no choice.

-They'll have to keep the programme and make us Special Agents.

-Look...

I believe in you, but if we fail,

we blow a case they've been trying to crack for two years.

Hey, I'm nine inches tall. I only see the upside.

BUG MUTTERS

FLY SNARLS

Tick-tock, we're on the clock. Speckles, do you copy?

Ten-four. I read you, Darwin. Five-by-five.

All communication systems are online.

-KEYBOARD RATTLES

-Status report.

I have a visual on Saber. He's wearing a 6,000 suit,

a 50,000 watch, and, according to my infrared, Hanes size Tighty-Whiteys.

Saber's about to start his speech. Remember, the clock is ticking.

'Blaster, Juarez, what's your twenty?'

'Juarez here. Approaching first objective.'

'Ten seconds ahead of schedule. Blaster is a little hyped-up.'

'Of course I am! This is what I live for!'

'Time to get this party started.'

OK, we're clear.

'Darwin, you're behind schedule. You all right?'

-First mission jitters, I guess.

-Do you want to abort?

No, no, it's OK. I've been trained to do this.

I'd follow you into a snarling pack of Dobermans! CHUCKLES

Oh, wait, I already have. Now, get your fuzzy hind end moving.

There's a civilian passing through the perimeter.

What are you looking at? Move along, pal.

Hoo... Don't worry. I just spotted my way in.

Whoa!

Juarez...

-Blaster, don't drop a pellet.

-Too late.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

GROANS

Whoo! I'm cool.

Speckles to Mooch. Getting no visual.

'Over.'

BUG MUTTERS

The fly is in the ointment. Darwin, do you copy?

Ah! Holy foxes.

-'What's your twenty?'

-I'm in the morgue.

WHIRRING

HUMS

# Don't you wish Your blowtorch was hot like mine? #

Good thing I took shop.

Welcome to my home.

I want you to know how grateful I am to you all for once again making us

the number-one consumer electronics brand in the world!

Yeah, yeah.

These things are so popular, I can't get one!

'Mooch, focus. Come on, honey.

'You're not here for the sweets. Get back on mission.'

For years, we've been putting a secret...

into the heart of every member of the Saberling family,

be it the cryogenic refrigerator or the new microwave-heated coffeemaker.

A secret which is at the core of any successful family, communication.

-Hey, Juarez. Race you to the top!

-OK. On your mark, get set, go!

That's cold.

Darwin, the table's set. You are clear to infiltrate Saber's study.

OK, I'm in.

Clearing exfil route.

-Hey, it worked!

-Of course it worked.

Nothing happens in this house that I don't know about. Trust me.

In 48 hours, when I press this button,

it will activate a wireless system we call 'Saber Sense'

which will awaken the chips already in the logic boards

of all Saberling appliances,

allowing this coffee machine to know how much coffee's been used,

communicate with your home computer, and add coffee to your shopping list.

Now, in addition, Saber Sense will link

every old and new Saberling appliance in existence,

and create one big family! And nothing will be the same.

PANTS: Why did they put the 'Q' so far away from the 'O'?

-OK, I'm in.

-Roger. I'm tracking it.

So, what about it, Juarez? You and me, I mean, you know...?

Sorry, Blaster. You know I've got my eye on someone else.

-No. In fact, I didn't know. Who?

-Darwin.

-Why Darwin?

-Because he's so... so not interested in me.

-'Copy that, Juarez.'

-Oh, shoot!

'Keep the com line clear.'

OK, Speckles, I think I found it.

-'Thank you and good night.'

-Saber wrapped his speech.

Mooch, give me an eyeball.

-'I'm going upstairs for a drink.'

-Darwin, Saber's heading up.

ETA - about 50 seconds.

Copy that. I'm into the Clusterstorm file.

-Speckles, are you seeing this?

-I see it.

This isn't about selling weapons. It's about global extermination.

I'm downloading now.

-Whoa! What just happened?

-Encryption. Hands off the keys.

-I'm setting up a worm to decipher.

-You have to stop Saber.

'Execute Delay-Strategy-B.'

I'm back in. Commencing download.

-Speckles, you're a genius!

-I'm a mole. I got a thing for worms.

Switching to wireless download.

Come on... Come on.

'Darwin. Get out of there now!'

I can't. The chimney will block the signal. Come on, baby, come on.

-If he doesn't make it, are you free Thursday night?

-He'll make it.

SHIVERS

-'OK, drop the line.'

-Here we go.

SNIFFS

Whoa! Now, Blaster!

Whoa!

Agh!

-THUD!

-Ooh! Ouch!

Darwin! Your butt's on fire!

Stop, drop and roll!

-We got it. Speckles, exfil.

-Way ahead of you.

I'll be waiting at the entrance of the... Whoa! Oh, no!

Oh, my God!

'Large canine at exfil.'

No escape. Repeat, no escape.

Hang on, Speckles. We leave no rodent behind.

Yippee!

-I'm going after the dog!

-Wait, Blaster! Think it through!

There's no time for thinking.

-Juarez, Blaster's going to need backup.

-Got it.

-I'll rescue Speckles.

Hey, meathead!

Oh, did you see that? Whoa! Whoa! Argh!

DOG BARKS

Let's go, old buddy.

Whoa!

-Mayday! Mayday!

-Heads up, boys!

-Hyah!

-Yeah, Juarez! You get him, girl!

We're out of here! DOG BARKS

Something spooked the dog. Let's check it out.

'Blaster, Juarez, exfil.'

By the way, in case you missed it, I just saved your fuzzy behind.

-We should celebrate over dinner.

-Hang on, we're going off-road.

Oh... Ow!

-Whoa!

-Whoa!

Gas!

COUGHING

Whoo! OK. We're clear.

That was a little heavy on the smoke, Ben.

Yo, Juarez, did you catch the little leg twitch at the end of my "death"?

Ah! That was acting, baby. I was feeling it!

Amazing(!) Tell me you are not part-possum.

You can laugh now but some of those people back there were crying.

It was like the end of Old Yeller.

Mooch! You made it. Good. How'd it go in there, guys?

The game's over for Saber. It's all there. Clusterstorm, everything.

Our training finally paid off.

I knew you could do this. This is great.

-G-Force!

-G-Force?

I figured we need a name. Like Green Berets or Navy SEALs.

Come on, G-Force!

-Um, no.

-The pose is cute.

-Is everything ready?

-Yeah, it's getting there.

Good. Feds won't be able to shut us down with this evidence.

-Does this make me look fatter?

-No. I think you look nice.

-How much longer, Speckles?

-Just a few more touches

to decode Saber's crypto-system. To access the data on Darwin's PDA,

-I have to factor a univariate polynomial over a finite field.

-OK.

Do I look fat in this? I haven't worn a jacket since the prom.

You look very... sharp.

MUSIC: "Just Dance" by Lady Gaga

Whoo! Oh, yeah! Huh! Huh!

'Because he's so not interested.'

What does that mean?

'Men are like government bonds.'

'They take way too long to mature.'

'But if you're a woman trying to make it in a man's world,

you have to learn to think like they do and keep them guessing.'

KNOCK ON DOOR Candygram!

Juarez?

I heard over the wire that you're interested.

-I'm not interested.

-That's not what you told Blaster.

Don't you get it? I want him interested in me.

And he'll only be interested if he thinks I'm not.

But you ARE interested?

-Of course.

-But not in me.

No, no, no. Because you know you could have me,

which makes you not interested,

and that means I wouldn't be interested in you even if I were.

OK, everybody, they're here.

G-Force, in your positions. It's show time.

Hello. Director Killian?

I'm Ben. Congratulations on becoming the new Task Force Director.

-That's neat.

-Let's save the chitchat.

Time is money.

OK... Many people don't know that since the Civil War

animals have been used to gather strategic intelligence.

Our work develops communication between humans and animals.

These cockroaches right here have been trained to carry micro-cameras

into surveillance zones, which is, I think, really kind of neat.

Congratulations(!) Dr Kendall, you're saying that Homeland Security

is financing a roach motel?

This is a rodent.

Guinea pig, sir. Don't say that. They get highly offended.

You know their DNA is 98.7 percent identical to humans, right?

No. How would I know that?

So you'll notice the extremely developed sense of motor skills.

That's because their brains have close to a billion neurons,

and a trillion synapses - a thousand times stronger than a supercomputer.

-It gives them exceptional eye-hand reflexes.

-A video game?

Yeah. And there's something over here... OK, we'll go over here.

You're really going to be amazed by this.

It's a language decoder.

It enables animals to talk to humans.

Without it, they sound like normal animals. Go ahead, take a look.

You're Doctor Dolittle(!) You talk to animals.

Talking to animals is the easy part.

Getting them to talk back is the hard part. Darwin! Juarez! Blaster!

-So these guys are Special Agents?

-Yeah, just like we're going to be.

-Hey, how you doing?

-Whoa. That's impossible.

No, finding something that fits me off the rack, that's impossible.

Think that's something? Speckles has been decrypting the file.

-Who's Speckles?

-Our mole.

Star-nosed breed. Blind as a bat.

IQ off the charts. He's lucky I found him.

-His family was exterminated.

-We're ready.

Last night, G-Force got intelligence regarding Project Clusterstorm.

-You ran a mission without my authorisation?

-Yes.

-We went to Saber's mansion...

-You broke into Saber's house?

We accomplished in one night what you guys couldn't do in two years.

And without a warrant. Holla!

Blaster, cool it.

I knew we were up for review and I wanted to show you what we could do.

-Show me. What'd you get?

-Speckles, you're on.

-Darwin's PDA contains classified...

-Just open it!

What is it?

-A cappuccino machine?

-What? That's not right.

I downloaded the Clusterstorm file, not plans for a coffee machine!

-Right computer, wrong file.

-Darwin, what happened?

Specks, show them the Clusterstorm file.

This is all we have. I'm sorry.

No, that's not it! It's about global extermination. I saw it.

That's it, Kendall. Outside... now.

What a surprise, the guinea pig mission didn't work out.

-I'm shutting you down.

-You can't do this.

-Yeah, I can.

You performed an unauthorised infil,

compromised a two-year undercover FBI operation,

and came out with the crucial intel that Saber, and stand by for this,

makes coffee machines.

-This means we're in big trouble now.

-Shh! SHE SPEAKS IN SPANISH

You have to admit, I've done some amazing things

-as far as animal intelligence goes.

-Thanks to you, those rodents speak.

But sadly that means they're now capable

-of exposing the derelict activities committed on my watch.

-But I...

-No!

I'm not going to take the heat for this, Kendall.

I'm not going down in Washington as the crazy gopher guy.

'Dr Kendall's coming with me. Cage anything that moves.'

Cage? Oh, no!

-What about my team here?

-Here's an idea...

'They're guinea pigs, so we'll we use them as such!'

-Oh, no.

-Uh-uh.

Guys, we've got company.

We've got to get out of here. The document capsules. Let's move.

-Vamos.

-Leave the gear behind.

We're going native! Lock and load! I always wanted to say that.

Let's go.

Sorry, Speckles - talking animal, dead giveaway.

-Not my glasses.

-In you go. Let's go.

No. No.

It's OK. I'll be right behind you. Now, Marcie.

Good luck, team.

I love my job! Yee-hah!

Ha-ha!

No! No!

Marcie, you tell Ben the Clusterstorm file is on that PDA.

-And you tell him this isn't over.

-OK.

What we have here is your classic case...

-I'll distract them.

-..of over-spending.

-Bye, guys. Have fun in the lab.

-Hey, hey!

-Would you put that down, please?

-Put it down.

It's not working. Come on. Come on.

-It's empty.

-Stealth hamsters.

A special fur coating. Light bends around them, renders them invisible.

That is ridiculous.

We did see hamsters talk.

-Now, let me see now...

-Step aside.

What are you doing? Why are you letting them out?

Oh, my God! They're everywhere! Be careful not to step on them.

Whoa!

-What was that?

-What was what?

There's no such thing as a stealth hamster.

Be cool if there were, though.

Juarez, what's the situation?

-FBI.

-They got the whole lab surrounded.

-I'll need to inspect your goods.

-Let's go.

Yeah, bags of Falfa Cravins. Yes, I know.

-We can hide in here. Go, go, go!

-No, not the cage!

This facility's closed. Get this delivery truck out of here.

-I don't do cages!

-Speckles, let go!

Great. Now we are locked in.

GASPS

What do you think? Is this the frying pan or the fire?

Let's all agree right now, none of this goes on our resume.

PHONE RINGS

-This is Killian.

-We're locking the building down,

but the animals have all bolted.

If those animals bolted, then, I got a problem.

I want them all back, dead or alive, zero exposure.

-Three guinea pigs and a mole. Got it?

-'Yes, sir.'

I've never seen such fat animals in my life!

Don't they have a gym around here? A Jamba Juice or something?

Lay off the nuggets, man!

All right, my furry little friends. Welcome to your new home.

Good luck getting out.

-G-Force!

-Why did you just do that?

I thought it might cheer us up.

You can't just blurt it out anytime. It ruins the effect.

Guys, guys. Cool it. The world's at stake.

-We got to get out of here.

-The Feds want to turn us into guinea pigs,

-they'll never take us seriously.

-Well, we did get the wrong file.

No, I downloaded the right file, and we're going to prove it,

-as soon as we find a way out of here.

-Well, let's ask that guy.

He looks cute and friendly.

Excuse me, my incarcerated little friend,

-may I ask you a question?

-Don't move!

All I'm saying is, know your place, behind this line.

-That's all I'm saying.

-Is he talking to us?

Someone order a knuckle sandwich? Cos I'm about to make a delivery!

-Wow. You talk a lot of smack for a little guy, buddy.

-"Buddy?" No.

It's "Bucky". And if you want to stay alive, do not cross that line!

-GROANING

-MICE: Take cover!

BREAKING WIND

Ew! The horror! The horror!

I love the smell of napalm in the morning!

Don't pay attention to him. He's quarter ferret.

I have no ferret in me, Hurley! That has never been proven.

-Why are you marked down?

-I'm on sale! Everyone's on sale eventually.

This'll come as no surprise but he grew up in the psych ward at UCLA.

-Mice are on sale. Everybody's on sale.

-Enough with the line already.

-We agreed this was my zone. We all agreed that, right?

-ALL: Right!

-The mice will agree to anything. You are all idiots, right?

-ALL: Right!

Oh, yeah? Fine!

-Yeah, he's very sensitive.

-Not a ferret!

-Welcome, my friends, to the family.

-Um, where is the bathroom?

Well, for me, this morning,

-the sports page, which is pretty much where you're standing.

-Nasty!

Don't worry. They put down newspaper every day, there's plenty to read.

Hey, hey, hey. We don't have time for this.

-Locate escape options.

-OK, here we go. Stand back!

I'm going to break the glass!

I wouldn't do that if I were you!

This might be a good time for a nap.

The truth is my grandmother met a ferret at the San Diego petting zoo,

but nothing happened. They simply dated.

My papers say hamster, end of story.

-Now stop looking at the line!

-Please, let me pull his tongue out.

-Negative. Nobody touches the ferret.

-I am not a ferret!

Let's check that lock. G-Force, Delta formation.

MUSIC: "I Got A Feeling" by Black Eyed Peas

-You guys from the circus or something?

-ALL: Yippee! The circus!

-I hate the circus!

-No, we're not from the circus.

We're specially-bred, genetically-altered, highly-trained

-secret agents.

-Known as G-Force!

I get it. You guys are transfers from the Hollywood store.

Darwin, it's locked.

We need another way out.

Mooch! Go find Ben and report our location.

The Clusterstorm launch is in...

-29 hours.

-Wait. Who's Mooch?

-The fly.

-Oh, man. Talking to the flies!

And I thought the ferret was crazy.

Yahoo!

-Are you OK?

-Yeah, I'm fine.

-What happened in there?

-Well, I told them we shouldn't be shut down.

Then I got to the bit where I talk to guinea pigs,

-and that's where I lost 'em.

-Darwin told me, before he left,

-he did download the file.

-Where is the PDA?

-It's still back at the warehouse.

-Well, we gotta go get it.

-Security's probably crawling all over the place.

-I've got an idea.

-And G-Force?

-They're professional. They're probably halfway back.

Now, Hurley!

BREAKING WIND

Blaster, why don't you leave the tactics to me?

-OK. No problem.

-So, Farty, how do you get adopted?

It's pretty simple. Act cute, kid picks you out, takes you home,

and bingo, you're part of the family.

Except that, well, they never pick me.

-BELL

-ALL: Incoming!

Huddle up. OK, bring it in.

First, we get adopted. Then we escape.

Ben's house is the rendezvous point. Now, go act cute.

SNORTS: Who's acting?

Check it out, I'm chasing my butt. How cute is that?

-Come on, Specks. You, too. Act cute.

-I don't have that kind of range.

Ew. Grandpa, what is that?

That's a hideous crime against nature, I'd say.

-Huh. I'm out of here.

-What can I help you with, young lady?

I want a hamster.

Yes! Yes! I am out, baby! Finally, the recognition I deserve.

-Her. With the big cheeks.

-Huh? What?!

-I could put bows in her hair.

-What?!

I'm the hamster. They're guinea pigs!

-Whoa, whoa! Watch the hands, buddy.

-One oversized hamster. There you go.

You try to put a bow on me, you're going to lose a finger.

That little girl has no idea what she's in for!

I'm going to put nail polish and lipstick on her and a dress.

A dress? You're going to lose your whole hand.

-Juarez, remember...

-Maintain my cover until I have a chance to escape!

What about that little fur ball? He looks like he's full of life.

-No, no. Give me the fat one.

-I'm not fat. I'm fluffy.

Even if you forget to feed this guy every now and then,

it wouldn't bother him. He's plump.

-That's probably a good thing.

-Oh, mama! This is it. This is it!

-What do these fellas eat?

-I'll show you.

-Come on, Penny.

See you on the outside! Hey, guys, I can see my future!

It's all cakes and cuddles!

I think he's going to throw him in with the snake.

Huh? Whoa! Whoa! Oh! Oh!

Wah!

ALL: Whee!

Make way. Hamster coming through.

SIGHS / GASPS

PANTS

You're lucky I'm not in there, snake boy,

because it would've been lights out for you!

I would've hit you so hard you would have shed yourself.

Then I would have turned you into a nice pair of snakeskin boots!

That kid's a monster. He just lifted him up and... whoa!

-Come on, kid!

-Blaster, do something.

-What do you suggest?

-(ALL) Poop in his hand! Poop in his hand!

-Hey, Grandpa, I changed my mind.

-Oh, no, no, not upside down.

Hold him like this.

-Where did... Where did the chubby one go?

-I don't know.

All right, Specks, we have to think of a way out of here.

There you are...

I knew you were trouble. I can see it in your eyes.

At 0920 local time, Saber initiated a call to the usual recipient,

Mr Yanshu, in Beijing, saying the launch was on track

for Project Clusterstorm. Since then, nothing.

-Our FISA tap just isn't cutting it.

-Sir, with respect,

-if you were to authorise a search warrant...

-On what grounds?

I can't authorise a search warrant without probable cause.

-He's in the defence supply industry, he can cover his tracks.

-Sir...

Just give me cause, and I can authorise. Keep listening.

-We are listening, sir.

-Son, listen harder.

Careful. Ow!

-Come here.

-No, por favor.

No, not pink. And it stinks!

This has to be against the Geneva Convention.

Where is Blaster? We have to get out of here.

I think you need lipstick, too.

-Yuck!

-A tiara!

Enough already. This is the tenth outfit.

Don't you look pretty?

Oh, my gosh... I look like Paris Hilton's Chihuahua.

Let me do this, Specks. I'll come back and get you.

Relax. They told me one of the mice died last week

and was buried in the backyard. Once I'm in the ground,

I can tunnel to freedom and rescue you.

Terrell! Oh, man...

-Terrell!

-Mamacita, relax.

SHE SPEAKS IN SPANISH

It's dead.

-Yeah, you're right, it is.

-Do something.

Wow. This woman's really abrasive.

You get it out of here before it starts to smell up my shop. Hurry.

-Just run take it out back right now.

-I am. It's squishy.

Hey! Trash truck. Let's just get it on out of here pronto.

That's not the plan. No, no, no. Speckles, no!

Hold it. Good luck, rest in peace, and all that.

Ah! Oh, no!

Oh!

No, no, no...

-Is this OK?

-Yeah, this is good.

OK, Harry.

You know what to do.

-She was way cuter.

-Definitely.

CHIRPS

Argh!

OK, he's got it. He's got the PDA.

-OK, I got him. I got him.

-Let's go. Just stay calm, OK?

-OK.

Look on the bright side - at least you haven't been marked down yet.

-What's that on your butt?

-Birthmark.

Never seen a birthmark?

I have seen THAT birthmark. I got the same one.

Don't point that at me! It may go off.

Seriously, just look at my butt. You see?

You see? We must be related.

No. I am a genetically-engineered super spy.

Ben spent years training us. We do things that people only dream of.

That's what they want you to think. So you'll do tricks for them.

But you are a common, everyday pet shop guinea pig like me.

We must have been separated at birth.

But fate has brought us back together, my brother.

-Don't say that.

-I have a brother.

-Don't say that word.

I have a brother! Come here, brother!

My brother doesn't like hugs - I'm good with that.

I am not your brother.

Listen. Darwin, I'm not going to dress it up, OK?

I sit here every day hoping to get adopted, to find family.

And now, because of you, family has found me.

Hurley, there is no way that we are related,

so just get that through your head, OK?

OK. Here we go.

Darwin was right. The file WAS marked 'Clusterstorm'.

-Can you open this?

-I don't know.

OK, well, we've already seen that.

OK, unplug the computer. Unplug. Go, go, go.

-Was that a worm?

-Nope.

This PDA is infected with an extermination virus.

MUFFLED: Oh, yes!

What is going on in there?

No, no, no! Not the line, not the line. Don't cross the line.

ALL: Busted!

Can I offer you something?

BELCHES A macadamia nut, perhaps?

So, this is why I never saw you eat. Not once in all these years.

All these treats and you never shared?

You think I wanted to spend my nights sneaking out to feed myself?

Starving by day and praying for night to come

so I could take a bite without you eating all I have? You did this!

Uh-oh...

My friend Speckles got crushed in a garbage truck,

-and you said nothing about this.

-Uh-oh.

I'm out of here.

-Darwin? I want you to go.

-I AM going.

You can't worry about me. You got a job to do.

-You can't jeopardise it for me.

-I wasn't going to.

You're only saying that so I won't have to feel the pain as you leave.

-Keep believing that. Whatever works for you.

-Oh, what a guy. What a guy!

-OK, OK. Listen, Hurley.

-You gotta go, man.

-I got to go.

-You gotta go.

-You gotta let go.

-I've got to let go.

Don't give up the dream.

You're going to find the family you're looking for someday. So long.

So long, brother!

I miss him already. Whoa!

Agh!

(CHUCKLES) Good luck with the climb back up, Hurley! The cage is mine!

And it's all true. My grandfather WAS a ferret!

CACKLES Now who's been marked DOWN?

So, there's the North Star, which means Ben's is east.

OK, I need to head that way.

Go back, Hurley.

Fine! You think I can't make it out here?

You think you're the only one who can survive in the big bad world?

The truth is, Hurley is out of his cage, and it's time to hit the town!

Guinea pigs gone wild! Wuh-hoo! Yeah!

MEOWING

YOWLS

Darwin!

Darwin? I... saw a cat.

OK, you can come with me until we find another pet shop.

Oh, thanks, bro. Did I mention I'm also afraid of the dark?

'DISTORTED VOICE: Greetings, Mr Saber. I have a status report.'

You are a brilliant business partner, Mr Yanshu.

But remind me why we call these things "video" conferences.

'As we've discussed, it's in everyone's best interest

'that my identity remain hidden.'

'Project Clusterstorm is perfectly on course, sir.'

'Saber Sense will activate in about 19 hours.'

Why are we spending a large amount of money tracking space junk?

Old satellites. Booster rockets...

Four million pounds of debris, and why do we care?

'The satellites, sir - communication systems.'

'We have to protect them - integral aspect of the Saber Sense network.'

We've got a lot riding on this, Yanshu.

I've put my trust in your engineering skills.

BUZZING

GROANS

-FLY MUTTERS

-Mooch, is that you?

-Yeah, yeah!

-Are the others OK?

-Yeah.

-You know where they are?

-Yeah!

You want help with that?

Oh, yeah...

Oh, Mooch... You're a genius.

I was so worried about you. I don't like when my fly is down.

Marcie, it's Ben. I found them. I'll be by in ten minutes to pick you up.

There's the delivery truck from the lab.

Como estas, gentlemen!

We're looking for some rodents.

Si, for you or for your children?

For the government.

-We're special agents.

-What? Yeah, right.

-Are they fugitives or terrorists or something?

-Just answer the question.

MOUTHS

OK, sorry. I'm just saying, you look like a regular guinea pig to me.

Listen, I told you, I'm a commando who just happens to be a guinea pig.

Oh, yeah? So where's all your fancy spy gear?

Back at the lab.

Oh. Same lab where I keep my hot Canadian guinea pig girlfriend?

That's where my stuff is, too - a unicorn and a dragon I ride.

If you want to stick with me, stop with the yapping and keep up.

No-can-do, bro. I'm calling a hunger strike!

And I am not moving an inch. Whoa!

Uh-oh. Whoa!

Eh, civilians. Come on, soggy.

GASPS

-I'm hungry, I'm wet, I'm hungry...

-Shh!

Dogs!

Dogs. Why does it always have to be dogs?

All right, MacGyver, you got any brilliant ideas?

Yeah, I got an idea.

MUSIC: "Boom Boom Pow" by Black Eyed Peas

-I think we made it.

-Great. How do we stop it?

-Just keep running.

-That's not how you stop it! That's how you make it go!

Hurley, get your butt out of my face. Get your face out of my butt!

Ow!

So this is what spies do.

Como estas, chica?

-We're looking for three guinea pigs and a mole.

-Same one as the Feds,

-or are yours from a rival militia?

-Wait, what Feds?

The Men In Black were here looking for the same thing,

-wanted to know who had bought them.

-And did you tell them?

No, I refused and we shot it out(!) What do you think? It's the Feds!

Thank you.

CACKLES: Mine! The cage is mine!

MUSIC: "Falling Down" by Space Cowboy Remixed by Paul Oakenfold

This is going to be awesome.

I'm pretty sure this is animal cruelty, but I love it!

This wheel doesn't work!

Strike!

Yeah!

-Ooh!

-Is that all you got?

-Ready to go for the record?

Maybe this would be a good time for you to take your medication!

I feel the need... the need for speed!

Whoo-hoo!

Say cheese!

Whoa!

Excuse me! Coming through!

-Yeah!

-Yes!

That was off the hook!

-Connor! Take out the trash.

-OK.

-Now!

-Coming!

What do we have here?

You, my friend, suck.

I'm coming for you, Juarez.

-TYRES SCREECH

-Whoa!

Whoa!

That's what I'm talking about!

Time for a joyride.

Yeah!

-Get out the road, fool!

-Hey!

-Don't become roadkill!

I ain't used to driving stick!

-Oops! Not this time! Ha-ha!

-Stop it. Stop it!

-Come back!

I'll come back when you're older and put you in prison!

-Don't go anywhere. I'll be right back.

-Finally!

Hyah!

-Juarez! Where are you?

-Oh, I have to save his fur again?

SHE WHISTLES

Juarez?

Juarez!

Yeah!

Whoo-hoo!

I got you!

Why are you dressed like "Guinea Pig Barbie?"

One more word, I turn you into bacon.

Well, you are sizzling hot!

Don't need that, or that, or that!

Although, maybe this can stay.

Juarez, you are fine china!

HE PANTS

What exactly are we doing, anyway?

Two days ago, my team embarked on a mission.

Today, I'm going to finish it.

My brother's a loon! I love him, but he's... Cake!

Did I tell you I love cake? Oh! Oh, I've heard of places like this!

They sell something called "layer cake"!

It's not just one cake, it's many, in layers!

Often up to six! Oh, it is the Holy Grail of human food!

I can't believe you're getting so excited about cake. Coffeemaker!

That's the same coffeemaker that was on the Clusterstorm file.

Hurley, I got to check out that coffeemaker. Stay close.

Fifty billion rodents in the world, and I get stuck with this guy.

Whoa...

Are you keeping track of all these parts?

Don't watch me. Watch my back.

Right now, you're my eyes and ears. Just act natural.

-OK. Sure.

-Look, Daddy...

Hi, there. Hi.

That wasn't very convincing.

-Hurley, do you know what this is?

-Pretty sure it's called vandalism.

A military-grade, multiple-array transceiver

developed for the military's Unmanned Weapons Programme.

Sorry, I tuned out. What were you saying?

I gotta get this chip back to Ben's.

OK, that's weird.

WHIRRING

Hurley, duck!

Whoo!

-I've heard coffee's bad for you but this is ridiculous!

-Move it!

-Why are we stopping?

-We're going to fight it.

We're going to do what?!

We have to get that chip.

Whoa!

Good luck with that! HE WHIMPERS

Uh-oh.

-Suck in your gut!

-I am!

-Darwin!

-Hang on, Hurley!

Yippie-kai-ay, coffeemaker!

Watch out, bro!

You want some of this, you overgrown can opener?

Don't think the warranty is going to cover that.

Oh, brother... I thought I lost you there.

OK, thanks Hurley! Boundaries!

Talk about a killer cappuccino.

HE CHUCKLES What is this thing?

This is Clusterstorm.

Saber must be weaponising his entire line of appliances.

-We have to get this back to Ben's.

-How are we going to do that?

MUSIC: "Jump" by Flo Rida featuring Nelly Furtado

Hey, bro? You have to admit, we make a pretty sweet team.

I could get used to all this "secret agent" stuff

if you're ever looking for a new recruit.

Hurley, just be quiet and lean right.

Look who I found out back.

-Blaster! Juarez!

-Darwin! You made it.

-Hurley, what are you doing here?

-Hey, guys!

Hurley, up high. Down low. Too slow.

Wait a minute. Where's Speckles?

Speckles didn't make it.

-What do you mean, he didn't make it?

-He was going to break out

and engineer our escape, but then the mission went bad.

He got crushed in a garbage truck.

-Oh, Speckles. Geez...

-He sacrificed himself for us.

-This is all my fault.

-Ben, there's nothing you could've done.

No, I could've told you the truth of who you really are.

Darwin, I misled you.

The truth is, you're not genetically-engineered, any of you.

I should've never, I should've never sent you out into the field. It's...

So... we are not special at all?

No engineering? No enhancements?

We're just common, ordinary rodents?

I wanted you to think of yourselves as more

than just balls of fur waiting for your next pellet.

Well, maybe you can explain that to Speckles!

Ben, we need to know. Tell us who we are.

OK, you guys want to know?

Juarez, we rescued you at a roadside tapas stand in the Pyrenees.

I guess there you're some kind of, you know, delicacy.

Aye-aye-aye...

Blaster, we found you at a cosmetics company, testing hair gel

for allergic reactions.

And Speckles we found right before his hole was dug out

to build a golf course.

And Darwin, I...

..I purchased you at a pet store.

Your parents abandoned you because you were the runt of the litter.

I was a runt? What do you mean?

I never even had a chance.

-PHONE RINGS

-This is Carter.

OK, we're on it. Dispatch just got a report

of two giant hamsters riding a skateboard on Pacific.

Let's finish this.

You were right all along, I am just an average pet store guinea pig.

Since when did you start listening to me?

My parents didn't even want me.

Look, Darwin, you saved us from the dogs, defeated the terminator,

read the stars like a map and got us here. I couldn't have done that.

Do you have any idea how many guinea pigs could have done those things?

I mean, literally like three, and they're all in this room!

Yeah, you're right.

I may not be genetically engineered but I'm no house pet either.

Hey, team, come over here! Listen up.

What Ben did was right, he wanted us to believe in ourselves,

and we did believe.

We still have our training, our abilities.

Blaster, you're a graduate of West Point.

Yeah, correspondence course.

Whatever. Juarez, how many hours have you put in on that simulator?

Mm, 200... thousand.

Er, I helped with the tyre!

We may be guinea pigs but we're not ordinary.

We're special. I still believe in us.

Even if nobody else does.

I believe.

I believe.

I've always believed.

Ben, we don't have much time. That coffee maker's no coffee maker.

When I tried to disconnect this chip it came alive and attacked us.

Oh, it was so gnarly!

If I hadn't been there to take cover fire for Darwin, who knows... Oh!

The Saber Sense microchip caused it to transform.

Saber Sense and Clusterstorm are the same thing!

If every Saber product has that chip in it,

that means that every appliance on Earth is a killing machine!

Guys...

..Saber Sense launches in...

-..30 minutes.

-I tried to access the Clusterstorm file on your PDA

but Saber protected it with some nasty virus. I'm at a loss.

Er, sorry to interrupt, quick question. If that little thing

is all that, why don't you use that to destroy Saber's mainframe?

I'll go back in the box. Oh, pepperoni!

-That could work. That could work!

-OK, let's do this!

Wait a second, we don't have our equipment.

Well, that's not entirely true.

This is a little prototype I've been working on

called the Rapid Deployment Vehicle.

She'll do 65 with the throttle wide open.

-Mmm.

-And Blaster,

it has a rocking stereo.

That's what's up! Pimp my ride!

All right, we got gear, and we know our mission.

Infiltrate Saber's mansion, locate the main network core,

-and dock this infected PDA.

-Bring down big mama with baby disease.

I don't know what that means, but yeah, it's good.

There are the keys.

Don't scratch it.

All right, this is for Speckles.

BANGING AT DOOR

-We know you're in there! Open the door!

-Into the RDV!

-You too, Hurley. Move it.

-Shotgun!

BANGING AT DOOR

Open the door or we'll open it for you!

-Hold on.

-Don't these fools know we on the same team?!

-Juarez, plot us a course to Saber's.

-I'm on it.

-Go, go, go!

-I'm going, I'm going, I'm going!

Mooch, we need eyes in the sky.

Call backup, tell them we're in pursuit of three guinea pigs

-driving mobile spheres.

-OK!

Actually... could you make that call?

-My stomach doesn't deal well with action.

-Hurley, don't you dare!

-PARPS

-Yuck, Hurley!

-Disgusting! I can't breathe!

-Roll down the window.

-These things don't have windows!

-That's real professional, guys.

Mooch, where's that recon?!

-OK, here come the bad guys.

-Better have their A-game.

Where's that backup?!

-May I ask why we're chasing rodents?

-No, you may not.

Just let me out at the next corner.

We got two party crashers on our tail!

-Hurry, you're losing 'em!

-They're boxing us in!

-Yeah, I got 'em, I got 'em.

-Maybe they want to adopt us.

Not likely, Hurley. Hold on, guys!

Let's just crush 'em.

Now!

-time to divide and conquer.

-See ya!

-Oh, yeah! Come and get me!

-Where'd he go?!

-How low can you go?!

-There, under the trailer!

Little is the new big!

Bye-bye, bipeds! Smell you later!

-I want to go back to the pet store!

-You might want to buckle up.

He paid for undercoating! What a sucker!

Let's see if it protects him from this.

-Hey, what's that?

-This is my little friend.

-Say hello.

-Hello!

And goodbye.

Better hang on to your lunch!

HE WAILS

Did we win?

This is Unit Two. We've lost them.

How? You're driving a V8, they're rolling round in plastic balls.

This one's not getting away from me!

-Darwin, I need some help here!

-Mooch, I need a visual on Juarez.

Can't get these guys off my tail!

-We don't have tails!

-Hang on, Juarez.

We're going to the fair. Blaster, hard right.

All right, let's take it to the house!

'OK, I'm taking the lead!'

-You're scaring me!

-Shut it, Carter!

Here's that box of M-80s. Careful with these.

-You're driving angry!

-Yes, I am!

Come here, you little rodent! HONKS HORN

-Look out! Look out!

-Just let 'em go!

MUSIC: "O Fortuna" by Carl Orff

This is so festive!

Ooh, these are good seats!

I'm going to flatten this little varmint!

Mess with the bull, you get the horns!

How you doing?

Don't try this at home, kids!

That was great! Let's do it again!

Face it, Trigstad. You just got out-driven.

By gophers.

RADIO: "Just Dance" by Lady Gaga

ALARM BEEPS / RADIO TURNS OFF

-Guys, I'm going in.

-Hurley, suck in your gut.

Blaster, I need to tell you something about Juarez.

-She's not interested in me.

-She told you that?

Yeah, she really wants you, and she's trying to make you

-more interested by acting disinterested.

-Maybe she told you

she wants me in order to look not interested in you,

-which makes you more interested in her.

-Interesting.

Members of the Saberling inner sanctum, my co-conspirators.

Are we ready... to dominate?

Are we ready... to change the world?

-Go, go, go, go.

-Whoa!

-Yippee!

Whoa!

Hurley, this is our exit.

It's important that you stand guard. Don't leave this spot.

-We're counting on you.

-OK, OK. Got it.

Hey, does this mean I'm part of the team?!

There's the network core, behind the glass.

Look! We can gain access through that panel.

OK, follow me.

-Hold up, guys.

-What is it?

-It's a tripwire!

It's a booby-trap. Don't touch it, or this place'll blow.

Hah! Tick, tick, boom.

HUMS TUNE

SNIFFS

Ooh. I don't think anybody'll mind if I check the perimeter.

As I press this button,

we move forward to a brave new world order

owned and operated by Saberling.

BEEPING

-We're too late!

-We can still stop it

if we download the virus into Saber's computer. Let's go.

Mmm... cherries.

GASPS: Cake!

Oh, you're so beautiful!

Oh, come to papa!

Uh-oh! Whoa!

It's all Saber, sir! Is this enough probable cause?!

'Eyewitnesses report household appliances coming to life...'

Those are Saberling. They're just supposed to communicate!

-HYDRAULIC NOISES

-What is that thing?

It's heading for the tripwire.

-It's got Hurley!

-Oh, hey, guys!

-What's he doing?!

-'Peppers... Casserole...'

-It's trying to figure out how long to cook him!

-Me?! Get me out of here!

-Move it, Blaster!

-I don't want to be an appetiser!

We gotta save him!

-Let's go to Plan B!

-Blaster, immobilise that thing!

-On it!

-Don't let it hit the tripwire!

-I want to go home!

'Eggs...'

Oh, man! It's packing a toaster!

Up here! Go, go!

Why is this happening?!

-This wasn't the plan!

-Saber, what's going on?!

Get us out of here!

Take Saber to the command truck!

'Bacon... Carrots...'

-Hurley, don't be scared.

-I'm not a chicken.

-'Chicken, match.'

-Uh-oh.

Not even close!

-Come on, Hurley!

-Just a little piece of caaaaaake...

-Hah! Didn't drop the cake!

-Hurley, let's go!

Hunk of junk!

It's going to hit the tripwire!

-Run for cover!

-Darwin, jump!

-No!

-BOOM

SCREAMS

Are you OK? We can't get through.

-I'm all right. I'm going to keep going.

-Not without us. No way.

There's no time. I've gotta take down the network core.

Hurley, I told you, stay put and guard the exit, didn't I?

I thought I could depend on you.

All right, let's huddle up. Come on. Here's to the team.

Good luck, Darwin. We'll find another way through.

OK, this is good. Over there.

Marcie, let's go.

Hard to believe you've got nothing to do with this.

You have to believe me, I don't know.

I only wanted to be the biggest appliance manufacturer in the world.

-What do you want? I got problems.

-There's your problem.

-The transmission's coming off his computer. G-Force went in.

-G-Force?

-You sent those gophers in without my authorisation?

-I'm picking up video.

-It's one of ours.

-Let's see it.

-What in the heck is that?

-Darwin.

-You say that like it's good.

-What's he going to do, gnaw his way out?

-He's going to insert a virus

and take down the network.

DEEP VOICE: Hello, Darwin.

Speckles, you're alive! You infiltrated the bad guy's lair.

-Where is he?

-I am the bad guy.

What, you think I'd let myself get killed in a garbage truck?

Hah! I hid in a soup can, rode it all the way to the city dump.

-'And it was stinky.'

-Speckles!

I can't believe the mole was the mole!

Actually, you may call me Mr Yanshu,

business associate of Leonard Saber.

'You tricked Saber into helping you build Clusterstorm?'

How could you do this to us? I put my life on the line for you!

Yanshu was in my basement this whole time?

-And he wasn't a man, he was a mole.

-Yanshu is the Chinese word for mole.

Saber Sense was just a cover. LAUGHS EVILLY

I created an army of robotic appliances

and they created an array of giant electromagnetic nodes,

nodes capable of pulling down

all the space junk orbiting the planet

and driving every human underground!

So, what do you think?

You betrayed us. You.

You sabotaged our presentation.

Extermination virus. Nasty stuff.

Speckles, why?

You ever Google the word "mole", Darwin?

Three million entries. Not on how to care for 'em

or love 'em or pet 'em. No! Three million entries

on how to exterminate them!

Humans came and destroyed our home. Destroyed our home.

Son, if you ever get the chance to bring mankind to its knees... do it.

They showed us no mercy, Darwin. Well, now it's my turn

to do a little pest control. If you'll excuse me, it's show time!

Going up!

He's created some kind of monster!

I think I'll stay here and guard the ex... Whoa!

-What's our plan?!

-Stop Speckles and save the world!

That's more of a goal than a plan!

It's working!

Look out, I'm feeling ten feet tall!

Oh... Whoa!

Woo! No place like home!

Woo! There's no place like home! That'll leave a mark.

Whoa. Come on, we got to get up there and stop Speckles!

How big is this thing going to get?!

LOUDSPEAKER: You humans stole my home! Now I will steal yours!

LAUGHS: Look out!

Something's missing. Oh, I know!

Incoming!

Just like humans, bringing guns to a space junk fight!

-Darwin?

-Speckles, shut this down, now!

-No.

-Then I'll shut you down.

I have no quarrel with you, Darwin, but mankind must pay.

-You know I can't let you do that.

-Then you leave me no choice.

My parachute! Whoa!

The PDA!

Go get it, girl!

No!

SCREAMS

Oh!

-Hurley, what are you doing?

-I've got to get you back up there!

-No, Hurley! Don't do it!

-Go get him, bro!

It's the only waaaay!...

-Hurley!

-SCREAMS

Coming, Hurley!

Take that! And that! No fun being the little guy, is it?

Everybody hold on!

Speckles, if you keep doing this, you're no better

than the humans who destroyed your home, your family.

Well that's kind of the point here. I lost my family.

No, you're wrong. We're your family.

Me and Blaster and Juarez and Ben and Marcie.

Speckles, Ben took us in when nobody else wanted us,

and he made us a family.

We're a family.

Oh, no. No! What have I done? What have I done?!

It's too late, Darwin! I can't stop it!

But we can.

It's working! Darwin, it's working!

Speckles, come with me.

-Whoa!

-I got you.

We've got to find Hurley.

-Hold it right there!

-We'll take him!

-Relax, guys. He's Code 4.

-What a mess.

Here you go. Easy.

-Darwin, over here!

-Hang on!

-I got him, I got him!

-I can't hold it much longer!

No. Hurley.

-No, not you, Hurley.

-SOBS: Look.

-He landed next to his cake.

-No...

Oh, man, Hurley.

-Hurley.

-Oh, no!

No, no. This is all my fault.

-He was my man.

-Hurley, wake up, pal.

Listen, I just... I just wanted you to know,

you were as good as anyone out there today.

I don't know what they call it back in the pet shop, but out here,

we call it being a hero.

All you ever wanted was a family. I never got to tell you this, but...

..I'd be proud... proud to call you my brother.

Hurley.

Hey, I think I saw his nose twitch.

SNIFFS

-COUGHS

-Hurley?

Did you mean it when you called me brother?

Not exactly, I was just... That was, like, figurative.

-You bet I did.

-Brother.

I have a brother. This is great!

We can spend every Thanksgiving together, take road trips to Vegas,

have tickle fights! Oh, come here!

Give me a hug, bro.

Oh, this is great.

Oh. Mm-mm-mm.

So, Hurley, you still want to be a part of the team?

STRAINING: Two!

Three!

-Twenty-seven!

-Hurley, I'm right here watching you.

-OK, that's it. I don't want to get too buff.

-Not to worry.

All right, guys. Welcome to your new home.

OK, but I'm telling you now, I don't do well with room-mates.

-Easy there, tiger!

-Everybody out... Everybody out!

ALL: Jailbreak! Jailbreak!

Look, Juarez, I gotta know, which one of us are you interested in?

No, no, Blaster! You gotta ask her who she's not interested in!

..30, 42, 83...

As far as I can tell, you're not interested in either of us,

which means either you want both of us or neither of us,

which leaves us desperate, even though we don't have a clue!

And that's just how I like it. GIGGLES

BEN: Hey, guys, it's the director of the FBI.

'G-Force, I want you to know that Leonard Saber has been forced

'to undertake the largest recall of products in history

'and he's getting help from somebody knowledgeable about the defects.'

'Three down, 178,000 to go.'

SIGHS: 'I'm going to be here a while,

'but I'm going to rejoin the team when I'm done, if they'll have me.'

'Your friend, Agent Killian, has been re-assigned. He has a few words.'

'Hello, G-Force!'

-ALL LAUGH

-Look, a frozen FB-icicle!

'I'm sorry that I doubted you!'

'How long do I have to stay down here?! It's really cold!'

'Team, as the full details of your valour come to light,

'it is an honour and a privilege

'to say thank you on behalf of this country.'

'You guinea pigs pack more courage into those teensy little frames

'than any agents I've ever seen.'

'G-Force, your funding has been restored.'

'Welcome to the FBI.'

Guys... we got our badges.

-Yeah, boy! We're official-tishal right now!

-Finally.

Not bad for a runt.

Thanks for believing in me, Ben.

Hurley, if you're going to be helping us save the world,

you're going to need this. You're one of us now.

My very own badge and a new name!

Rookie!

So, we're finally agents.

No, special agents.

Let's get this party started right!

MUSIC: "Jump" by Flo Rida featuring Nelly Furtado

Get him on the good foot! All right, Hurley!

G-Force in the house! Whoa!

ALL: My turn! My turn!

Whee!

Hey, boys! This ferret can dance, right? Right?!

-MICE: Wrong!

-Oh, Bucky!

Oh, yeah!

MUSIC: "I Gotta Feeling" by Black Eyed Peas

# Here we come, here we go We gotta rock

# Round and round, up and down Now we on top

# Feel the shot, body rock Rock it, don't stop

# Round and round, up and down Around the clock

# Monday, Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday

# Friday, Saturday Saturday to Sunday

# Get-get-get-get-get with us You know what we say, say

# Party every day P-P-P-Party every day... #

I'm a mole, I got a thing for worms.

-It's a good thing I took shop.

-Mmm, mmm, cherries...

Oh, my gosh. I look like Paris Hilton's Chihuahua.

Yes! Yes! I am out, baby!

Finally, the recognition I deserve!

I'm Jeff Gordon, with fur! Whoa!

Subtitles by IMS