Mr Lucky

FOGHORN SOUNDS

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Wouldn't you? How do I know she ain't going to jump?

She's all right.

She's not going to do anything.

Just going to stand there. She'll walk up and down.

Then she'll go lean against that bollard

and just stand there and look out to sea.

She's got no right to be there without a pass.

She could have a pass to the White House

if she wanted it.

You push her around, you'll get into trouble.

She's a somebody.

Speaking of passes, where's yours?

Oh, you're new here, aren't you?

Ship's master, huh?

I came ashore on a dinghy.

It's tied up down at the end of the pier.

There, you see? I told you she was all right.

What's she going to do now?

Just look.

She's watching for a ship to come in.

Only it's sitting at the bottom of the Atlantic.

What ship is that?

It used to be called the Fortuna.

Yeah, that gambling ship used to dock here.

That's right.

I was on pier 27...

Yeah, I know.

She was owned by a boss gambler called Joe the Greek.

Ever hear of him?

Everybody that read the newspaper did.

Er, did you know him?

Yep. I was master of the Fortuna.

Say, tell me, was he...was he really a Greek?

Nobody ever knew what he was,

except tough.

He wasn't just ordinary tough, he was double tough.

And too smart for his own good.

Hmm... Crossed you up, huh?

Oh, no.

Crossed himself up.

How?

That's how.

Right here on this pier is the last time she ever saw him.

When was that?

Back a ways when we had the Fortuna tied up here.

We weren't operating then.

We were broke and full of trouble.

One day Joe comes breezing in

with his face full of fine and dandy

and his heart full of ice water.

We'd been driven off the west coast by the law,

and put in here to raise a bankroll

so we could operate in Havana.

Joe was kind of up against it.

A little Greek sailor aboard at that time,

guy named Bascopolous...

MAN WHISTLES "Give Me Something To Remember You By"

How's Bascopolous?

Looks like he's going to join Barnum and Bailey, Joe.

What did the doc say?

According to the doc, he's already gone.

Said he wouldn't last over an hour two hours ago.

All gone inside.

How did it go uptown today?

Swell, thanks, Swede.

I got the plaster taken off the boat.

We can sail any time.

Good. Those mugs of yours have been getting restless.

Let me know when he goes.

Right.

HE WHISTLES "Give Me Something To Remember You By"

COINS DROP

Hey, Blubber, fix this thing!

Something wrong, boss?

It paid.

There ain't no customers.

There's going to be customers where we're going.

Fix it.

OK.

HE WHISTLES

Hello, boys.

Well, I got it.

Cost me ten grand, but it was worth it.

Took seven lawyers to write it, Joe to fix it.

Put it in the safe, Zepp.

We're sailing for Havana when Bascopolous kicks off.

Forget it. This ship ain't going nowhere.

Who says so?

Your uncle Sam.

What is this, a rib?

Yeah. Take a gander at those kites.

"J Bascopolous, G Zepp, J Adams." Huh?

1A? They can't do this to me. I'm a civilian.

It's OK, chief.

I got it all fixed.

We can hop a plane for Mexico city in two hours.

What?

We'll fly to Rio.

You can work South America till this blows over.

Take it easy, Crunk.

Lots of guys with big dough there.

Well, relax. Thanks, Crunk.

J Bascopolous,

what did he get?

4F? What's that?

It means they don't want him.

He's physically unfit. Lucky stiff.

Yeah, he's physically unfit all right.

Or is he?

All right, boys. Get lost.

One of us is out of the army, Joe.

Who declared you in?

We're partners, ain't we?

That's a 50-50 proposition in my book.

What do you want, half the card?

I'll trade my half of the boat for the card.

What good would that be?

Whoever gets the card gets the boat, too.

Who gets it, Joe?

Want to cut for it?

Poker dice.

You got a deal.

I'll get the box.

Wait. Can't you wait and make the thing legal?

What's wrong with poker dice?

Nothing, only he ain't dead yet.

I never took anything off a pal.

After he joins the circus, that's different.

Come on.

Nervous.

Take your best shot, Zepp.

Three kings, Joe.

Have a smoke, Crunk.

Four kings, Joe,

in two rolls.

Beat it.

Can you hold it a minute, chief?

Shoot.

Three aces.

What did you think this was, amateur night?

I don't get you, Joe.

Didn't you see an elephant walk across the table with muddy feet?

I didn't pull a switch.

Didn't you?

Then blow on it for luck.

Go on, blow.

I wouldn't shove around my own partner.

Sure you wouldn't.

One more ace, that's it.

Yeah, that's it.

There it is.

Well, looks like the army needs men like you.

Take good care of yourself.

I'll have a nice big service flag

with a single star

hanging in my office, just for you.

Swede, see you later.

Where you going, Joe?

Uptown to raise a bankroll.

I thought you lifted the plaster.

Sure, but we need 50 grand to start operating.

Where you going to get it?

I can raise that in one afternoon.

Shake hands with the new Joe Bascopolous.

Huh?

Take this dough and give Joe Adams a swell funeral.

Lots of white flowers.

The guy had a lot of good in him.

What's he talking about?

You explain while I change.

Well, I guess that's enough of that.

Yeah.

You anxious to get in the service?

You don't know what it cost me.

That's too bad. Your blood pressure's 210. We can't use you.

Ah, you can't use...

We can't use you. I'm sorry.

Will it hurt if I get drunk?

It won't do you any good.

I'll get drunk and stay drunk.

Too bad. A fine, patriotic fellow.

It's been a shock to him.

Throw that thing away.

Did you raise the wind?

I couldn't even raise a good cough.

I don't know what happened to this town.

How about those soft touches?

The heat's on. They either got caught in the draft

or paid their income taxes.

How you going to raise the dough?

How do I know? I tried everyone I knew.

Looks like our luck is out.

Don't do that!

But look!

One, two, three, four, five... six naturals!

This is strictly from heaven.

Come on, let's do it.

You do it. I'll wait here.

It's no good if we both don't do it.

You trying to jinx it?

This is a sure thing.

Can't miss.

Sit down, boss.

OK, Joe.

Fine.

Take it easy, bud.

Come on. The fella's getting nervous.

Thanks, pal.

How do you do?

How do you do?

Can I send you a ticket to our charity ball?

Sure.

One or two?

Two.

They're 50 apiece.

Oh, I know they're frightfully expensive,

but we're trying to raise 100,000.

Are you, now?

That's a coincidence.

What's it for, sister?

War Relief Incorporated.

Hmm. I'm interested in relief.

Where are your headquarters?

The address is on the ticket.

Uh-huh.

Thanks.

I'll look you up.

I may throw something your way.

Thank you.

Where can I find the big boss?

I'm sorry. They're all very busy just now.

INAUDIBLE

I want to make a donation.

INAUDIBLE

What kind of donation did you want to make?

70, 80,000...dollars.

Just wait.

THEY CHATTER

Where is he? Oh, is that him?

There's a man over there who's going to give us...

Where is he? Is that him?

Our Captain Steadman would like to see you, Mr, er...

Just a moment, Mrs Ostrander.

Did you say 70 or 700?

70,000.

I told you. This way, please.

(70,000!)

Captain Steadman, this is Mr, er...

I don't believe I got your name.

Joe. How are you?

Joe?

Joe.

Joseph! Don't you understand? Mr Joseph.

Do sit down.

Close the door as you go out.

You couldn't have come at a more timely moment.

Our ticket sales have been so disappointing.

We have to send a shipload of medical supplies to Europe.

We have to raise the money as quickly as possible.

I hope you want to make your donation in cash.

I always do business in cash.

That's splendid.

You'll have to help me, though.

Of course.

You see, I'm a boss gambler.

That's my business.

We never inquire into one's associations.

This charity affair, that's made to order.

You just have to give me the gambling concession.

Gambling?

Sure. Blackjack, chuck-a-luck, roulette.

I'll raise the dough in one evening.

I don't understand.

Well, it's simple.

You're giving a ball. We take rooms next door.

You steer the customers in.

I supply everything. You rake in the winnings.

Are there always winnings? Supposing you lose?

Last winter in Palm Beach...

Sure. That's my point.

I bet you dropped a packet.

Well, look.

Show you what I mean. You roll the dice.

You're the customer.

Shall I?

Sure. Go on, roll them.

Snake eyes. See?

Now watch the difference.

7.

See the difference? I'm lucky. I can't lose.

Now roll them again.

You're still the customer.

Try a dump shot.

Put them in the glass.

That's it.

See? 4.

Tough point to make.

Watch this.

7.

How do you do it?

Influence. Bring me the right people, I'll get you 100,000.

But it's gambling.

Not the way I do it.

TAPPING ON DOOR

How much do you figure to raise?

Between 15 and 20,000.

But you're aiming at 100 grand.

String along with me, and you're home, James.

But you won't get it listening to that woodpecker.

It so happens that gambling is against the law.

In Reno it's as legal as selling groceries.

We're in New York.

What a pity.

Dorothy, this is Mr Joseph.

My lieutenant, Miss Bryant.

I've already had the pleasure.

It so happens

we have a committee of financial advisers.

Strange they've never hit upon your plan.

Not everyone can do it, lieutenant. It's kind of, um...

Dangerous. That's what I mean.

I'm afraid Miss Bryant's right. >

Perhaps if you'd send us a letter detailing your plan.

We'll take it up at our next meeting.

But you're in a hurry for this dough.

We can't afford to sponsor something we might later regret.

Goodbye, Mr Joseph, and thank you.

Ah-ah, look out. Don't let it get in your blood, captain.

It's bad.

Excuse me.

Dorothy, don't forget your appointment at the bank.

All right.

Mother, come here. What bank is that?

Why, it's at 31 East 39th.

Thanks, Toots.

Where to, boss?

The bank.

Oh, no!

Shh!

Next.

Good afternoon.

Hello, Miss Bryant.

This is your third visit, isn't it?

Yes.

We'll have your silver button waiting for you.

Thank you.

Well, hello.

Next, please.

That's you, chum.

Everybody move up, please.

Up one.

Thanks, bud.

Well,

this is quite a surprise.

Not particularly.

It so happens I rather expected it.

If you think your persistence

is going to have any effect on me, you're mistaken.

I can't see how you can pass up 80,000 for the cause.

For whose cause?

If you're so interested in serving a cause,

why don't you join the army?

Next, please. >

Ohh.

4F.

You look 1A to me.

You don't look so bad yourself.

Well, it's my arteries.

Should you be giving blood?

Well, my blood's 1A.

Just my arteries are 4F.

J Bas...

Bascopolous.

I thought you said your name was Joseph.

Well, if a fella went around calling himself Bascopolous,

think what the other people would call him.

Look, er,

why didn't you let me finish

what I was trying to tell the captain?

It so happens I don't trust your motives.

Yeah. Here I am giving my life's blood,

and she don't trust my motives.

Next. >

The person who gets your life's blood

will probably develop a sudden passion for the dump shot.

The poor soldier that gets your blood,

they'll use him for an ice cube.

Next. >

It so happens...

What is that "so happens" routine?

It so happens that's a phrase I use.

Next, please. > I'm offering...

Goodbye, and the answer is still no.

This isn't the way out.

Don't bother me.

You can't go now.

You've got to rest for 20 minutes.

Look, sister, take a walk.

I feel like a million dollars. But you...

I feel great. Hiya, boss.

How was it, Crunk?

They only took a pint.

Tomorrow I'll give them a gallon. This...

What did I tell you?

What say, Crunk?

I thought we had rat guards on this boat.

How'd you get on?

Joe up?

What are you doing back?

I'll do my talking to Joe if you don't mind.

RADIO: 'From Athens, heroic Greek troops

'were tonight defending Greece's mountain passes

'against invading German and Italian forces.

'Despite their desperate efforts...'

Hey, boss, 1A is back.

Can't hear you. Turn that thing off.

'Heavy fighting's reported in the Vardar valley...'

< What's doing, Joe?

How come you're not in uniform?

Got a couple of weeks before I go to camp.

Ain't got any place to flop.

OK if I stay on the boat?

JOE: Sure, why not?

Thanks. How you coming with the bankroll?

I got a crack

at the biggest bankroll in New York if it works.

< What's holding it up?

An iceberg, but I'll melt her down.

Yeah. OK if I get something to eat?

Sure. Go down to the galley.

Thanks, Joe.

Thanks a lot.

When you clean out a guy like Zepp,

you shouldn't keep him around.

That any way to treat a soldier?

I'm telling you, chief...

Never give a sucker an even break,

and always keep an eye on a pal.

Remember that.

Where can I get a car?

I got to put on the dog.

I know a fella's got a sedan.

Get it and meet me in 30 minutes. OK.

HORN HOOTS

So long, Crunk.

Joe!

HE WHISTLES

We'll just have to sell more tickets.

Wish I knew how.

If we sold the lot, it wouldn't be enough.

INTERCOM BUZZES

Yes?

'Miss Bryant, there's a recruit out here.

'I don't know what to do.'

Hang on to her. We can use anybody.

'Miss Bryant, it's rather a special case.'

Send her in before she changes her mind.

I've got a hundred things to do.

She may have scads of money

and will buy blocks of tickets.

I'm her.

I've been thinking over what you said yesterday,

and I wondered why you couldn't use me here.

You mean you want to enlist in this organisation?

It's time for every man to do his bit.

If not for this weak heart...

Arteries.

Arteries. Same thing. How about it?

What about all this gambling at the ball?

Oh, I forgot it. Too bad. Great idea.

Yep, good for the cause.

Well, let it go.

Well, as personnel officer,

I have no right to refuse any enlistment.

However, I should warn you,

we've had men before, but they all asked to be transferred

to more active branches.

So many women around get on their nerves.

Oh, well, that won't bother me.

< I might have known.

Perhaps you'd better read this.

We expect a lot of our workers.

Thank you. Do you mind if I sit?

Oh, of course not.

SHE MOUTHS

SHE MOUTHS

How do you do?

I gather you want to enlist.

Yes, ma'am.

Sure you know what you're doing?

I'd do anything to help the cause. Anything.

I think that's wonderful. Don't you, Dorothy?

We need a man in this office.

You said so yesterday.

Why waste time looking around?

Sure you know what you're doing?

Definitely.

< Perhaps you're right.

The discipline will be good for him, too.

Fill in the application. I'll get you a button.

Thank you.

Sign on the bottom line, Mr Bascapolis.

Bascopolous.

I didn't think you'd forget me.

I don't intend to.

Like it?

Like it? I'm fascinated.

Here you are. Now you're one of us, Mr...

Bascopolous.

Oh, yes, of course. Bascopolous?

Greek?

American. Naturalised.

Oh, yes. Well, you get to work.

Dorothy will take care of you.

See me later and tell me how you're getting on.

I think it's perfectly wonderful.

Everything's fixed. I'm in.

Stand up. Take your hat off my desk.

Put out that cigarette.

Recruits are not allowed to smoke during office hours.

Put a fresh bottle of water on that cooler.

Yes.

How would you like to begin

with a propaganda project?

< Yes, sir or madam.

Do you know how to knit?

Knit?

I asked you if you knew how to knit.

Knit?

In England, incapacitated men

knit without hesitation.

Knit!

The best knitter I ever saw

was wing commander Barnstable.

He picked it up while in a plaster cast.

I don't knit.

That's exactly the attitude we're trying to combat.

Look, I don't mind...

We want a group of obviously masculine men

to take up knitting,

do it perfectly casually in public places.

Think I'm strong enough?

I'm quite serious.

Half the women who were knitting last year

are now learning to drive ambulances and run buses.

Do I get to trim a hat?

You haven't caught the idea

of the organisation you've just joined, Mr Bascopolous.

We're people who can't get into the actual fighting.

We resent that fact, so we take our resentment out

in doing our best to help when and how we can.

I'm not backing out.

I don't know how to knit. That settles it.

Report to Mrs Van Every.

She's our best instructor.

Or do I tear this up?

OK, knit.

And take your hat.

OK, hat.

INAUDIBLE

INAUDIBLE

Sit down with the rest of the girls,

and I'll be glad to show you.

Now, let me look at your hands.

They're really very clever hands.

You should have no trouble.

The first thing you do is learn how to hold the needles.

Hold the knitting in this left hand, so.

Yeah.

And now, here you take the needle -

we'll educate those little piggies -

you take the needle and stick it so into the stitch,

you see?

And then make a loop and throw the yarn over

and bring it through -

come, come, come, come, come.

And here. Now you try one. You see?

Here, hold the needle in this hand.

Yes!

Now you see how simple it is.

Hmm.

Now...

Now I'm going to show you how to rib.

You knit one just as you've been doing,

and then...then you purl one.

Now this is a purl.

Not the kind you cast before swine,

but P-U-R-L.

Now, look, you bring your needle so

from the back to the front.

That's the boy.

Yes.

Throw the yarn over in front

instead of in back.

That's the difference between a purl and a knit.

There! You did it.

Bless his heart!

Now, take it up. There you have it.

Now, you see? It's knitting one, purl one,

knit one, purl one.

Be calm, be patient, be exact.

Oh.

Hey, could you help me?

I dropped me purl.

I'm beginning to like it.

You're my little pioneer.

Pioneers are always persecuted

because of their great moral bravery.

Sure, moral brav...

Boss, people are watching.

So what?

What will they think?

I almost dropped a stitch.

Aw, for Pete's sake.

Mrs Van Every, this is the Crunk, my driver.

How do you do?

Take off your hat.

Get rid of that cigarette.

Now, sit down.

Give him the needles.

Don't be alarmed, young man.

Let me look at your hands.

Show the old goat your hands.

Where's your moral bravery?

They look as though they'd be quite skilful

at picking up things.

First you'll learn how to hold the needles.

Hold this in this hand.

Joe!

Then hold the other needle so.

Take the gimmick and stick it in here.

Then you put the string between the two gimmicks.

Then you just haul it off.

That's all there is to it.

< Hey, Crunk.

This thing kind of gets you.

Did you show them how to purl?

I haven't gotten to that yet.

You shouldn't have left me

at that table with all those wacky wrens.

I wanted to talk to the head of the joint

while that dame was busy.

How'd you do?

She's going to tell her where to get off.

Get to bed. Early call tomorrow.

How you making out with that iceberg?

You thaw her out yet?

I got a better idea.

I'm working my way around her.

Good night.

Good night.

SPINS ROULETTE WHEEL

You accepted my blankets,

and you didn't say nothing about the cost.

I'm losing money on these as it is.

You're trying to get the best of me.

That's not the understanding we had.

I'm only a housewrecker.

I never would've tore down that hotel

except I wanted them blankets.

Please don't shout so.

Good morning. What seems to be the trouble?

She owes me 2,400 bucks.

He's charging 6 apiece for these secondhand blankets.

I could've got 10.

Refugees shivering in tents, and you hold us up.

You should be ashamed, raising prices because blankets are scarce.

That's the old law of supply and demand.

Six bucks apiece. Where's my cheque?

I tell you we haven't it in our account.

Let's not be too hasty.

Don't you think we ought to examine the blankets?

Would you mind holding my knitting, please?

Thank you.

Oh, yeah, well, pretty good stuff.

That's a 6 value.

But we haven't got it.

Oh. That's the trouble, Mr...

< McDougal.

They haven't got it, but you're a good sport.

Tell you what. I'll flip you - 12 or 4.

Oh, but we couldn't possibly afford 12.

Oh, well, don't worry.

If I lose, I'll pay for it.

I wouldn't want shivering refugees on my conscience.

What do you say, Mr McDougal?

12 or 4? You're on.

Heads.

I couldn't do it with that coin.

It's got tails on each side.

It belonged to a gambler.

You would have lost.

Let's do that old...

Behind the back? Sure. Go on.

Are you all ready?

I'm ready.

We got the blankets for 4.

You've got that, haven't you?

Let me try to break even.

Double or nothing.

I couldn't do that, Mr McDougal.

No, that wouldn't be right.

Some of the main guys here don't like gambling.

All right. We ready?

I'm ready.

Double or nothing.

That wouldn't happen again in a thousand times.

It won't happen again to me.

You'll sleep well tonight

because you did a good deed for a worthy cause.

Here.

Now you're one of us.

"I have contributed to War Relief Incorporated."

I have been TAKEN by War Relief Incorporated.

What do you mean they won't unload the trucks?

It so happens they're medical supplies.

Serums. They're important to save lives.

Tell them what I said.

If there's any more trouble, call me back.

Come in.

I've been trying to think of some way

to thank you for getting us the blankets.

The percentage was in our favour.

The other guy was guessing.

Mrs Steadman was talking to me yesterday.

Oh, yeah?

About the gambling. It's off.

Oh, I get it. You still don't trust me?

No, and I've been trying to figure out why.

Should a guy put his heart on a plate

before you'll trust him?

What will you get out of this?

I'm just trying to do my bit.

That doesn't explain anything.

Well, I just don't like to talk about it, that's all.

You ever hear of the Vardar valley?

In Greece?

Yeah. The name of Bascopolous

goes back 500 years in that section.

How do I know what's happened to my family?

I don't want those guys walking into my mother's kitchen.

I lie awake nights figuring how to help.

They turned me down for military service,

so I raise dough for those poor people.

So now you know.

Oh, I'm... I'm terribly sorry.

That's all right. Don't apologise.

I'm sorry I had to tell you, that's all.

Oh, Mr Joe! Mr Joe!

You forgot your knitting.

Oh, yeah, mustn't forget that.

I can't thank you enough for your help.

I'd do as much to a total stranger.

Mr Bascopolous.

I have to go down to the dock.

We're having a little trouble

about getting some supplies unloaded.

Will you... Will you go with me?

Sure.

We can use my car.

Break it up, will you?

Hey, look out.

Look out, fella. Hey, buddy.

You call that purling?

You dropped a stitch.

Wait till I tell Mrs Van Every.

Where to, boss?

North river, downtown.

Promise me something, Joe.

Hmm? What?

Never, never knit again. Please.

Oh, you're asking a lot.

What is that?

Hmm? Roll of dimes.

Why do you carry it?

Habit. Fits nice in your hand.

Oh.

Where's Mr Comstock?

He went to use the phone.

I'm Miss Bryant.

I'm taking care of this trouble.

Please start unloading this truck,

and I'll straighten it out with Mr Comstock.

OK, miss. All right, boys.

Hey! Not so fast, brother.

Wait a minute.

Next time you touch that stuff

without this release,

you'll be tangled up with the law.

I told you relief people

it was pay on delivery.

We agreed to pay you Saturday.

I don't do business that way.

1,300 bucks - that's what you owe.

Do I get it now,

or do I take it back?

We can't pay until Saturday.

OK. Saturday will be 10% more.

Oh, Mr Comstock, I beg your pardon.

Who's this?

I work for Miss Bryant.

You ought to get what you're asking for.

Joe!

I'll give you my personal cheque.

How do I know your cheque's any good?

If I can get to a telephone,

I'll verify it for you.

Telephone up in the office.

Thank you.

HORN HONKS

Go ahead.

TRUCK ENGINE REVS

TRUCK ENGINE DIES

Everything's OK, boys.

All signed. Start unloading.

Here, grab.

Hello. Let's get back to the jute mill.

You misunderstood Mr Comstock -

nice fella, family man.

What happened to your dimes?

I tipped a guy.

Did you have to hit him very hard?

What, me fight?

Go on. I'm a peace-loving citizen.

Joe!

What?

He might have killed you with that baling hook.

It's a scratch.

Do you mind stopping at the tailor's to sew my fiddle?

Your what?

My fiddle-and-flute. My suit.

What kind of double-talk is that?

It's a language I picked up in Australia.

Like hat - tit-for-tat.

Shoes - ones-and-twos.

Sounds like poetry.

Yeah, that's the idea. It jingles.

Like, you're a girl - twist-and-twirl.

Oh, what are you?

Me? I'm a bloke. That's a heap-of-coke.

This twist-and-twirl

is going to take care of the heap-of-coke's...um...

cabbage-patch - scratch.

My house is on the way.

Anybody home?

No.

The Crunk and me are in this coffee joint

when in comes a pot-and-pan with his cheese-and-kisses.

Pot-and-pan - that's a man.

Cheese-and-kisses - that's the missus.

Well?

Well, the Crunk said,

"Piper-heidsieck the I-suppose

on that guy's storm-and-strife in the Tommy-Horner."

Wait a minute. I'm lost. Pipe...

Piper-heidsieck - that's just pipe.

Take a look...

At the I-suppose...

Oh, the nose.

On that guy's storm-and-strife in the Tommy-Horner.

On his wife... in the corner.

Well, what happened?

He punched the Crunk in the snoot.

Why?

He was from Australia.

Oh.

Thanks, chum. I'll finish it myself.

Yes, sir.

Bang, bang, fella.

(Miss Dorothy.)

Yes?

Shall I telephone for a bottle-and-stopper?

A what?

A copper in the American vernacular.

Don't tell me you've been to Australia.

That's where I met me storm-and-strife - Mrs Foster.

Please forgive me, Miss Dorothy,

but are you aware of this gentleman's character?

I think so. Why?

Do you know he carries a lady-from-Bristol?

A what?

In American parlance...

..a rod, if you get what I mean.

Don't be alarmed, Foster.

I think it's part of his character.

He carries it for balance.

Yes, Miss Dorothy.

How you coming with the fiddle?

You do that with a knife and fork?

I never could sew.

Take a lesson from Van Every.

Foster thought I should send for a bottle-and-stopper.

What for?

The lady-from-Bristol.

Oh...that.

I wouldn't feel dressed without one.

Have you ever killed anyone?

No, I'm too good a shot.

I'm a gambler, not a gangster.

Tell me some more.

What?

Some more jingle talk.

Oh, that.

Now, look.

If we were going together,

you'd be my Briny-Marlin - my darling, see?

Um...

Then I'd give you that Simple-Simon

for your long-and-linger.

The guy what give me this Simple-Simon was my mother.

Ah, yes.

More.

Well...barnet-fair's your hair.

Dots-and-dyes...

the I-suppose...

north-and-south.

Joe.

Take off your mask. You're with friends.

Don't be silly.

Come on, Briny-Marlin, don't play games.

I'm not.

Then don't give me those baby blues.

You think I brought you here because... because...

Didn't you?

Or have you changed your mind?

We seem to be talking in circles.

Yeah. It so happens there's a difference of opinion.

Suppose we settle it

with that game you played with McDougal.

What? You mean that, er...

Mm-hmm.

OK.

Well, er... You ready?

All right.

Now, relax. Don't get excited.

Which hand?

Neither.

Aw, come on. Play fair. You got to guess.

Neither. Open them both.

OK.

Well, looks like you lost.

Well... Well, when you played it with McDougal you...

Yeah. Well, that was different.

Never give a sucker an even break,

but don't cheat a friend.

I believe in that. I live by it.

You don't think I'd play phoney with you?

Well...you lost.

Oh, but I didn't know the rules of the game.

OK.

Where's my tit-for-tat?

Joe.

What?

Will you run the gambling concession at the ball?

Well, well.

Are you sure you can trust me?

Now I know I can.

OK. You got a deal.

She laid it in my lap.

She asked me to run the games.

We'll clean up and clear for Havana.

What's the cut?

We're taking the take.

The gaff is on. Anything goes.

We'll leave some chicken feed.

Make it look legitimate.

I'll need five or six grand to get those games rolling

in case there's some hit-and-run players.

Anybody got a bankroll?

Not a thing.

Get it from the war relief people.

How would it look asking those people,

"Give me a quarter to see the movie?"

Queer the whole thing.

Then where?

I'll pick it off a tree.

Come on.

Huh?

I beg pardon, sir.

Oh.

Miss Dorothy's just come in, sir.

Oh. Leave us alone, Foster.

Yes, sir.

Hello, you old darling.

Come here, Dot.

Wait till I powder my I-suppose.

Where on earth did you pick up such gibberish? >

From Foster.

DISHES RATTLE

It's wonderful slang. You should talk to him.

I've been talking to Foster.

Oh?

What do you mean

by bringing a gangster here?

Don't tell me you're worrying about me, Grandfather?

I'd give you odds against any seven gangsters in town,

but I don't want them in my house.

What were you doing with him?

Learning things.

Yeah?

You'd like him. You have a lot in common.

In the name of sweet reason, what?

You're both tough. Oh, I know.

You're tough in a highly moral and civilised way,

but fundamentally it's the same thing.

It's character.

Nonsense.

What can you see in a fellow like that?

Joe's the first man I'm afraid of.

It's exciting.

This fellow hasn't been making advances to you, has he?

Of course. He kissed me.

Right on the north-and-south.

I pretended to be angry, but I liked it.

I will not have this sort of thing...

Oh, Grandfather.

Don't worry. I'm quite safe.

Get rid of him, child.

As soon as he's served his purpose.

I agree.

I think he'd be too hard to tame.

Good night, Grandfather.

Dot, what's his name?

The heap-of-coke?

You'll never believe me.

Joe Bascopolous.

Joe what?

Bascopolous.

Do you wonder why I call him by his first name?

Good night, Briny-Marlin.

Dorothy, we've had the busiest morning.

Suddenly a solid stream of people wanted to buy tickets for the ball.

Did they find out about the gambling?

How could they?

Mr Bascopolous emphatically said not to tell anyone.

That's what he told me.

And you didn't tell anyone?

Well, I-I... I-I...

Well, I...

In strictest confidence...

I-I...

I'll get another 500 tickets by noon,

or I'll get another printer.

CLICKS TONGUE

Good morning.

Hello, genius.

I didn't think you'd be late.

I've been downtown trying to charter a steamship.

What's the matter?

That tit-for-tat.

Don't you like it?

Like it?

I'm fascinated.

Veronica, do we have 6,000 in our chequing account?

Of course not, dear. What for?

The war convoy commission is expecting a freighter in Monday.

They won't hold it for us without a 6,000 deposit today.

Oh, dear.

Don't worry about it.

I'll send Mr Hargraves my personal cheque.

I'll get it from the proceeds Friday night.

You're a darling.

Would like me to take that cheque downtown for you?

You could.

Look up the commission. Somewhere on Fulton Street.

Hello, angel.

What's all this nonsense about gambling at your affair?

Where did you hear that?

They're discussing it even on the floor of the exchange.

That's wonderful!

Now, now. Stop being frivolous.

I know who's behind this - that scoundrel Bosco...

Bosco something or other.

Grandfather, you're being absurd.

What?

I was blockheaded at first, too.

That money's going to send a shipload of supplies.

Find some other way.

Didn't you tell me that great-great grandfather Bryant

used lotteries to raise money for the American Revolution?

That was different. I'll not permit it.

All right. Then you give us

your personal cheque for 100,000.

I'm not going to bribe you, and I won't argue.

I'm giving an order.

Oh, Grandfather, stop being your age.

I refuse to have my name associated with that of a...

a common crook!

Now, remember, I've warned you.

Now I'm going to act.

Get out of here. Get your greasy black head out of here.

Fair warning!

Tickets for the ball?

Aarghh!

Hey, who's that old biscuit-face?

My grandfather. And he isn't a biscuit-face.

He doesn't like me.

He goes off in a fizz, but he settles down. Don't worry.

I'm not worrying.

This the cheque for the freighter?

Give it to Mr Hargraves personally.

I want to be sure we get that boat.

The war convoy commission's form AP127-O,

acknowledging receipt, will be in the afternoon's post.

Goodbye, sir.

Are you going to take their cheque?

I beg your pardon?

What do you mean?

Nothing.

Nothing. Except there's an ugly story

spreading around town.

A story?

Yeah. Yeah.

That you aren't cooperating with the relief organisations.

Not cooperating? What on Earth are you talking about?

I'd like to have your suggestions

as to how I can explain why that money

that those ladies need to finance their ball tomorrow night

must be given to you today.

We had no idea there was any difficulty about the deposit.

Well, you see how it looks. It looks bad.

The heart of my organisation

is very much with your people,

but there are certain members

who think that Greece, China, Czechoslovakia could use some...

What?

Perhaps that would put you personally

in a very awkward spot.

Sir, I assure you that as far as I'm concerned...

Well, maybe I shouldn't have spoken.

But those fine ladies of mine had faith in you.

Yes...

I take it you feel very strongly about this cheque.

I certainly do.

Well, now, let's see.

Suppose I hold the ship without a deposit.

I wouldn't want you to break any rules.

Oh, no, no. I'm sure in this case it's perfectly, um...

I'll write a letter to Miss Bryant and return the cheque.

Oh, I'll save you the trouble.

And you don't have to write a letter.

Your word's good enough for me.

Oh, thanks.

It's a deal.

Right.

Goodbye, Mr Hargraves.

What kind of thing is that?

That? That's a hand-knitted tea cosy.

Oh, hand-knitted.

Pretty flowers. Nice piece of work.

Glad you like it.

Regular needles?

Oh, yes, yes.

Mr Hargraves out there?

No, sir.

Let him have the cash.

Yes, Mr Bryant.

How would you like it, sir?

'Yes, Mr Bryant?'

Get me the police department.

'Yes, sir.'

Miss Bryant?

Yes?

Where will I find

Joe Bascopolous?

He isn't here.

Where's his desk?

Out there.

Wait.

I'm so glad you came.

My grandfather sent for you, didn't he?

I asked him to.

I thought there was something wrong

with Mr Bascopolous.

What is it?

We want to talk with him.

Anything serious?

When a guy's been convicted three times,

carrying a gun is plenty serious.

Oh...

Who's that?

Oh...that's the man from the water company.

I've been expecting him all afternoon.

Ask him to come in a minute.

Inspector, it's about time you showed up.

I telephoned the water company several times.

Is this your idea of reliability?

Three bottles and stoppers arrived this afternoon with no coolers.

Three bottles and stoppers?

Is this the best service your office can give us?

I've just about made up my mind

to take our business elsewhere.

Where, for instance?

The Plaza Fountain Place will serve our future needs.

Goodbye.

OK, lady.

Will you sit down, gentlemen?

You'll have to wait.

What are you doing with that?

Looking for a glass.

Plaza Fountain. 59th.

Got a date with a smart girl.

Well, put it there.

Why should the cops try to pick me up?

Get in.

Grandfather. You will carry a lady from Bristol.

For packing a rod, I get sprung in a couple of hours.

Get in.

I got my own car.

I've told him to go home.

Put this on and don't ask questions.

We're not only out of town, we're out of state.

Is it all right to ask questions, please, teacher?

I have to talk to Grandfather.

Well, he's...

On the phone.

We passed thousands of phones.

This call must come from the right locality. Grandfather's no fool.

How far is the right locality?

Pretty far.

You want me to drive?

If you don't mind.

Hold still a minute.

Hey!

There! I've wanted to do that since I first saw you.

What for?

I've had this for several days.

I couldn't get up the courage to give it to you.

May I show you how to tie it properly?

HONK HONK HONK

HONK HONK

Look.

You hold this end...

Keep your eye on the road.

How can I look...

You start tying an ordinary knot,

but instead, you go over to the other side...

down...

then you go all the way around...

up, and you're finished tying the tie.

Oh.

They call it a Windsor knot.

Oh, they do, huh?

Take it easy. Just a minute.

There. Isn't that much better?

Kind of big, isn't it?

Well, it's better than that stingy little nothing you wear.

Do you like the tie?

Yeah, I suppose so.

Well, say thank you.

All right. Thank you.

How long has it been since anyone had any control over you?

Nobody ever had, and nobody ever will.

And I'm tying my own knots.

Where do I turn on the lights?

They're not connected.

Oh.

Hey, this the old man's place?

It's mine - from the side of the family

that was always getting into trouble.

The kind of trouble I'd like to get into.

Lend me your matches, Joe.

What's this?

Just a little sitting room.

It's all right.

This is where I used to entertain my beaus.

After tea we'd sit in front of the fire and hold hands.

Will you light the fire, Joe?

'Hello?'

Operator?

'Who's this?'

It's all right. This is Miss Bryant.

Oh, I'm fine, thank you.

I want to talk to my grandfather

in New York.

Yes, that's the number.

Will you ring?

For a family that was always getting into trouble, they did all right.

They just never seemed to behave

the way people expected them to.

Look at them, the crazy darlings.

Maybe it'll give you some idea why I don't make sense.

What did he do?

He was a great admirer of the ladies.

He was a hunter and maker of 19th-century love.

Where'd he get his dough?

From him.

He wrote poetry, privately printed at his own expense.

Yeah? Where'd he get his dough?

From him.

He wasted his entire life

trying to spend the family fortune. It finally killed him.

Where's the guy who made the dough in the first place?

Over here.

My great-great grandfather.

From log cabin to riches.

Know how he died?

He was shot in a mill at Harper's Ferry.

He joined John Brown's fight to free the slaves.

He owned slaves himself, but he listened to a crazy Yankee farmer

and caught fire from his words.

The family had quite a time living him down.

They did, huh?

TELEPHONE RINGS

Hello.

Oh. Will you call me when you get a line through?

It's quite important.

Thank you.

What are you going to use for an argument with him?

I'm not going to say much. He'll do most of the talking.

He'll talk about your three convictions. I'll say I don't care.

What three convictions?

Don't pretend, Joe. It's all right.

No, no. What are you talking about?

I know all about it. The policemen told me.

I never took a rap in my life.

Please, Joe. Be honest.

I haven't always been on the level,

but my ears are clean where John Law is concerned.

TELEPHONE RINGS