Saving Mr Banks

PIANO PLAYS

MUSIC: Chim Chim Cher-ree from Mary Poppins

MAN: 'Winds in the east... WORDS FOLLOW THE SONG'S RHYTHM

'..mist coming in.

'Like something is brewing...'

'..about to begin.

'Can't put me finger

'on what lies in store.

'But I feel what's to happen all happened before.'

DOORBELL RINGS

DOORBELL RINGS AGAIN

DOORBELL RINGS AGAIN

-Mr Russell.

-Mrs Travers.

Like pink clouds on sticks.

Excuse me?

The cherry blossom, I was trying to think of what it looks like.

The car should be here by now.

May I use the phone?

-I cancelled it.

-You...?

What?

-Pamela?

-Mrs Travers.

-Mrs Travers...

-Why would you cancel the car?

-I shan't be going.

We've been through this.

-I've changed my mind.

-You made an agreement.

Do you understand? A verbal agreement.

Why in the world are you speaking to me as if I were a neonate?

-He's going to...

-What? What is he going to do? Sue?

He is very welcome to every penny I don't possess.

Look... I've represented you for a long time.

I like to think of you as a friend

Yes, I like to think of it, believe me, I know it's not reciprocated.

I would never suggest anything that would cause you anguish,

but there's no more money, Pamela!

Mrs Travers. Simply no more.

Sales have dried up, no more royalties.

You refuse to write further books, so...

Do you understand? I'm...

I'm frightened you don't understand what that means.

I know what he's going to do to her! She'll be cavorting and twinkling!

Careening towards a happy ending like a kamikaze!

We've been trying to do this deal for 20 years!

He's agreed to both your stipulations. No animation,

-script approval...

-Use her to pay my bills?

If I believed in a hell, I'd be sitting in its waiting room!

Script approval! He's never granted that before!

I don't know what else to do!

-Where's Polly?

-I fired her.

It's just as well. It seems I can't afford her any more anyway.

You don't know what she means to me.

-Polly?

-Of course not Polly!

For God's sake!

Los...Angeles.

You have only to go there and work for two weeks.

Collaborate.

-You haven't signed over the rights yet.

-Yet!

You must make this work, Mrs Travers.

-Oh, I must, must I?

-You need the money.

-I don't want...

-Stop saying money! It's a filthy, disgusting word!

-I am picking up the phone now, Mrs Travers...

-I-I have final say.

You do.

I have final say.

And if I don't like what they're doing to her...

Then you don't sign the papers.

He can't make the film unless you grant the rights.

It's an exploratory trip...

What do you say?

I...

I want to keep my house.

Ahem! Excuse me, madam, have you seen my daughter?

I was quite sure I left her around here somewhere!

Her name is Helen.

No, er... Shirley.

No, erm, um... Ah.

Good Lord... I've quite forgotten!

-Could it be Prunella?

-No!

-Pamela?

-No, no, no.

-I'm sure I have a special name for her...

-Ginty!

Why, thank you, ma'am! Ginty it is, of course! Yeah.

-Now, have you seen her?

-It's me!

SHE GIGGLES

Gosh! So it is!

Thank goodness for that!

I was positive I was going to be beheaded for losing...

Her Highness The Royal Princess Ginty McFeatherfluffy!

-Don't lose me!

-Never.

I promise.

I'll never lose you!

You ready? Are you sure?

BELL RINGS C'mon!

The adventure is about to begin! C'mon.

Up!

There we go.

SHE LAUGHS, HE NEIGHS

-Can I help you?

-I'm perfectly capable, thank you.

They've used all the space. So greedy.

I'll take it, madam. I can put it up in front.

I don't want it there. I would like it here

in the corresponding holding area for my assigned seat!

-The flight's closing in a moment, madam. I'll have to take it.

-Ah, ah!

You can move mine instead. It's the grey one.

Thank you.

Will the child be a nuisance? It's an 11-hour flight.

-Er...I don't...

-Jolly good.

I hope we crash.

CAR HORN HONKS

-WOMAN:

-Where's the carriage?

-A carriage? Who needs a carriage?

-But, darling, there's so many...

Every leisurely stroll is a gift, darling! It's a gift!

Now, Biddy... are you staying?

-You're coming with us?

-Mm-hm.

-Excellent!

-SHE SIGHS

-Thank you so much. For everything.

Thank you, Miss.

Hurry up, everyone! We mustn't be late for the train.

-All aboard! Everybody ready?

-Yes.

-See you soon, Katie Nanna!

-Take care, love.

Everybody ready?

Walking bus!

-Left, right! Left, right!

-Miss? Miss...

Thank you.

Left! Left, right, left... And, one, two, three!

New town, new job, new bank. New life.

Come on, my little ducklings! CHILDREN GIGGLE

Left, right, left... C'mon, come along!

DOG BARKS

CAR HORN HONKS Halt!

"Allora."

Ginty. Come on, my love.

TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS

-TANNOY BEEPS

-Mmm...

'Ladies and gentlemen,

'we are beginning our descent into Los Angeles.'

BUZZ OF CONVERSATION

Oh, he does, does he?

Travers? PL Travers?

-"Mrs".

-OK.

Well, welcome, Mrs PL Travers. Welcome to the City of Angels.

Let me take those for you.

-I'm perfectly capable...

-Come.

-Oh, never mind.

The sun came out to say hello just to you.

Don't be preposterous.

It smells, like...

-Jasmine.

-Chlorine and sweat. Ugh!

It's dreadful.

Ugh!

GLASS CLINKS

Absurd.

Are you all right back there, Mrs PL Travers?

It's not "Mrs PL".

It's just "Mrs".

Oh...

It's so hot.

Oh. No problemo!

No problemo.

We got a brand-new air-conditioning system, Mrs.

Yeah.

Just about make you feel like

you're in good old Eng-er-land again!

I tell you, the things they can put in cars these days.

Gosh almight...

No problemo.

And here we are, ma'am.

-Thank you.

-Ma'am?

Would you like me to unpack for you, ma'am?

Young man, if it is your ambition to handle ladies' garments,

may I suggest you take employment in a launderette?

Odd.

Odd, odd...

Oh, dear.

For heaven's sake.

What on earth is...?

How...? What on...?

No, no, no. This will never do.

Absolutely no pears.

No pears.

A palace.

Complete with mighty steed.

-And chickens.

-FATHER LAUGHS

-Oh, my.

-Oh, we'll make beautiful memories here, my angel.

Come on.

-All right?

-Mmm.

-Girls. Come on.

DOGS BARK

In this house, you get to share a room!

Good riddance.

Now...

Ridiculous.

How old do they think I am?

Five years old, or something.

Poor AA Milne.

Ghastly business.

Duck, dog, out.

Much better.

And you can stay there until you learn the art of subtlety.

-Oh!

-'Lassie!'

Ah!

There you are.

LAUGHING: 'Don't worry.

'There's nothing wrong with your television set.

'This is a pixie bell.

'The sound is much too high for human ears.

'Oh!

'There you are, Tink.

'Hey!

'Hey! Get that stuff off of me!

'You know, if you're familiar with our story of Peter Pan,

'you know a little sprinkling of Tinker Bell's fairy dust

'can make you fly. Huh.

'Where are you going, Tink? Haven't you forgotten something?'

Off!

That's how we deal with YOU.

Good morning, Mrs.

It's not "Mrs". It's... Never mind.

We're just not going to get it right, are we?

What's that?

-Will it be the same driver every day?

-Yes, ma'am.

I am all yours.

-Hey, sun came out again.

-You say it as if you're surprised.

As if the sun were particular about for whom it appears.

-It seems you think that

-I

-am responsible for

its miraculous dawning every day. For heaven's sake, it's California.

Certainly is!

I'd so much rather be accountable for the rain.

Oh, that's sad.

Sad is entirely the wrong emotion.

I shan't bother explaining why. It would just... Zip!

Huh. Okey dokey.

The rain brings life.

So does the sun!

-Be quiet.

-Yes, ma'am.

I'll get that, sir.

-Got it?

-Yes, sir.

Good morning, Pamela.

It is so discomfiting to hear a perfect stranger

use my first name.

"Mrs Travers", please.

I do apologise, Mrs Travers.

I'm Don DaGradi, the scriptwriter.

Co-scriptwriter. I shall certainly be having my say, Mr DiGradi.

"DaGradi".

Uh... Wonderful, I welcome your input.

If, indeed, we ever sign off on a script.

Right. Um...

This is the rest of your team.

This is Dick and Bob Sherman, music and lyrics.

Boys, the one and only Mrs PL Travers.

The creator of our beloved Mary.

-Poppins.

-Who else?

-"Mary Poppins".

Never, ever just "Mary".

-It's a pleasure to meet you.

-Hello.

-I fear we shan't be acquainted for very long.

-Why is that?

Because these books simply do not

lend themselves to chirping and prancing.

No, it's certainly not a musical.

Now, where is Mr Disney?

I should so much like to get this started and finished

as briskly as is humanly possible. Perhaps someone could

point me in his direction. I'd be so grateful.

-Thank you.

-We were hoping to give you a little tour of the studio.

-No, thank you.

-Walt just wanted to show the place off.

No-one likes a show-off.

Mrs Travers, it's quite a long way.

Not a musical?

I am perfectly capable of walking.

Good morning.

Could you let Mr Disney know I've arrived, please?

Absolutely. Please, have a seat.

Oh, no, there's no need.

He'll be just a moment, Mrs Travers.

Why don't we sit?

(She's here.)

Uh...

A word of advice, Mrs Travers, if I may.

You may. Whether I heed it or not will be another matter entirely.

Wow.

Uh, it's just that

he can't stand being called "Mr Disney".

We're all on a first-name basis here.

Mmm.

LOUD COUGHING

Well, here you are at last.

Oh, my dear gal,

you can't imagine how excited I am to finally meet you.

HE LAUGHS

It's an honour, Mr Disney.

Oh, "Walt". Now, you gotta call me Walt.

-Mr Disney was my old man, isn't that right, Don?

-Absolutely, Walt.

Come here. Come here.

Tommie.

Say hello to the one and only Pamela Travers.

It's so nice to meet you.

You know, I can't believe it.

PL Travers, right here in my office.

After all these years, almost 20 of them?

Mmm. Yes.

20 long years.

I wish you could have seen me, then, Pam.

Lean as a whippet, I was.

A racehorse.

Well, anyway.

Now, here you are, and look at you.

I could just eat you up.

Uh... That wouldn't be appropriate.

You know what... When Diane, here,

was about, uh, seven years old...

Oh, can I get you something to drink? A coffee, or...

A pot of tea would be most welcome.

Anyway, she was about seven years old

when I was walking past her room

and she was on her bed reading to her sister, Sharon,

and those girls, they were just giggling their little socks off.

-Tommie?

-Yes?

-A hot tea for Pamela and me.

-Right away, Walt.

Ah, you're a doll.

She is. She's a doll.

Anyways, I asked them, I said, "Girls, what's so funny?"

And Diane said to me,

-"Why, Daddy, Mary Poppins."

-HE LAUGHS

I didn't even know what a Mary Poppins was.

But then she gave me one of your books,

and, oh, by gosh, my imagination caught on fire.

Absolutely on fire.

And those embers have burned ever since, as you know.

-I do. Yes.

-20 years.

So you keep saying.

Pam, a man cannot break a promise he's made to his kids.

No matter how long it takes for him to make it come true.

Now, you've kept me dangling all this time.

But now, I gotcha.

"Gotcha", indeed.

Mr Disney, if you have "dangled",

it is at the end of a rope you have fashioned for yourself.

I was perfectly clear when you approached me 20 years ago

that she wasn't for sale. And I was clear again

when you approached me the following year and clear again

when you approached me every annum for the subsequent 18 years,

and, quite honestly, I feel corralled.

Oh, now, Pam, the last thing I want to do is make you feel as though...

Would you mind? My name is "Mrs Travers". I do...

See, I promised them, Pam. Now, that's a fact.

You got kids?

No. Well, not precisely.

I have never, and absolutely never,

gone back on a promise I made to either one of my daughters.

-Now, that's what being "Daddy" is all about, right?

-Is it?

See, our motion picture is not just going to make my kids happy.

It's going to make all kids happy. Adults, too.

Because my guys are going to do things with it

that are revolutionary, Pam. Revolutionary!

Your Mary Poppins is going to literally fly off the pages

of your books.

Oh. Thank you, Tommie.

This magical woman who has only lived inside your head,

well, you are going to be able to meet her, speak to her.

You're going to hear her sing.

Now, the singing, I'm very glad you've come to that.

Oh! Milk in first, please.

Then the tea.

And a spoonful of sugar.

You don't intend for this film to be a musical?

I absolutely do.

No.

-No?

-No.

Mr Disney, Mary Poppins does not sing.

Yes, she does.

-When?

-In your books.

No, those aren't songs. They're recitations.

She's not a giddy woman. She's doesn't jig about.

I mean, singing is frivolous.

It's wholly unnecessary in a governess, an educatress.

No, it would simply ruin it.

I won't have her turned into one of your silly cartoons.

Now, Pam...

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

I want you to know

that the last thing I would do,

the very last thing,

is tarnish a story I have cherished.

Now, the pages of your books are worn to tissue.

They are dog-eared and falling out,

because I have pored over them, gripped and tormented.

Because I love her, Pam.

I love Mary Poppins.

And you, you have got to share her with me.

And nothing happens without your say-so.

Quite right.

It's all right here in the rights agreement

that was approved by your agent.

Uh... Dermot?

Diarmuid.

Dar...

A live-action film. No animation.

Live-action. Here's a pen.

I'd like this on tape.

On tape?

Mmm. Your promise,

and all the conversations we have here, on tape.

Ah-ha. There you are.

Mary Poppins and the Bankses, they are family to me.

I understand that. I do.

Well, then. Shall we begin?

Let's make something wonderful.

Well, let's see if that's at all possible.

Whoa...

(Damn!)

Testing. One, two, three.

'Testing. One, two.'

What is all this jollification?

We've got a whole script to get through. It'll be a long day, Mrs T.

Mrs Travers.

You could save a starving country

with benefaction from this room alone.

It's just, ugh, so vulgar.

Did you turn on the thing?

Uh...

Yes. Now, let us begin.

Mmm. So...

"Scene one."

"Exterior, Cherry Tree Lane..." "Ext"? What's "Ext"?

"Exterior."

It means the scene takes place outside.

Oh, I see. It is an abbreviation.

I'm so sorry, Mr DaGradi, do you feel that you should be...?

Oh. Please, be my guest, Mrs Travers.

I do think it's best. I have the most practice.

Readings of my books, you know?

-Absolutely.

-Anyway.

"Scene one. Exterior.

"17, Cherry Tree Lane, London. Day."

-Yes, that's good. That can stay.

-That's just the scene heading.

Although, I do think we should say "Number 17", instead of just "17".

It's proper, yes?

BOTH: No-one's going to see it.

I will see it.

Write it down. Write it down. Chop, chop.

Is that on the tape? Have we got that?

Uh... Yes.

Very good. Onwards.

I'm sorry to interrupt.

-Is that a joke?

-Excuse me?

Do you think you are a comedienne?

-I'm sorry, I don't understand.

-Well, it's...

-Unbelievable. In the way.

-Dolly, I think we're all set with food.

Thank you.

"Scene one. Exterior.

"Number 17, Cherry Tree Lane, London. Day."

"Bert, a one-man..." Oh, the rumour is that this is

-to be your Mr Van Dyke. Is that right?

-We do hope so.

We'll see about that. It's a horrid idea.

Dick is one of the greats.

Dick Van Dyke?

Yes.

Robert, my dear.

Olivier is one of the greats.

Burton, Guinness, greats without question.

I can assure... I can assure you that Dick Van Dyke is not.

Dick Van Dyke.

Uh... "Bert, a one-man band, plays to a small gathering

"outside the gates to the park.

"Bert..." Yes, "Bert says..."

You can do Bert.

-Thank you. Um...

-Go on.

Guys, shall we...

..give it a whirl?

What's happening? What are you doing?

PIANO: Chords From Chim Chim Cher-ee from Mary Poppins

"All right, ladies and gents,

"comical poem

"suitable for the occasion.

"Extemporised and thought up before your very eyes.

"All right, here we go."

# Room here for everyone Gather around

# The Constable's responstable Now, how does that sound? #

-No, no, no! No, no, no!

-SHE SLAMS THE TABLE

"Responstable" is not a word.

We made it up.

Well, un-make it up.

Responstable...?

There's my girl.

Here's a good boy. Come on.

That's it, Albert, give Ginty a smooch.

There you go. There you go.

Oh.

Poor old Albert.

He's your secret uncle, you know.

But a miserable, horrid witch turned him into a nag.

Why did she do that?

She said she hated the sound of his laugh.

Poor Uncle Albert.

Yeah.

How can we fix him?

We have to teach the witch to be happy again.

How?

Well,

I'm not quite sure, darling.

Do you want to know what it feels like to fly, Ginty?

Come on. Albert, you old nag.

Come here.

Up you come.

Three, two, one.

-Do you trust me?

-Yes.

H'yah!

Nobody walks.

A leisurely stroll is a gift.

Beautiful, ain't it?

If you like that sort of thing.

I do.

We do find it's helpful to have a visual.

Plus, it's fun.

Oh, no, no. No, no. Goodness me, no.

No?

The Banks' house doesn't look like that. No, no.

Mm-hm.

My house is a terraced house

with a pink door, white-bricked, with a crack in the gable.

OK, we get it. The house is not what you pictured.

The windows are lead-lined and the flower boxes grow

pink nasturtiums to go with the pink door. Have we got that?

Oh, dear, it's all a big mistake. It's all wrong.

It's ALL wrong?

Well, it's too grand!

The Bankses are normal, everyday sort of people,

and this isn't normal. This isn't "everyday". They're not aristocrats.

OK.

Oh.

Do I even have to say it?

I'm afraid so.

Why in the world have you made Mrs Banks a silly suffragette?

I wonder if Emmeline P would agree with that adjective.

Quite possibly, looking back.

It does seem strange

that Mrs Banks allows her kids to spend all of their time

with the nanny, when she doesn't have a job to speak of.

Are you calling Mrs Banks neglectful?

-Yep.

-No, of course not.

We just thought that giving her a job would go some way to explain...

Being a mother is a job. It's a very difficult job,

and one that not everyone is up to.

One that not everyone should have taken on in the first place.

And I won't have her called Cynthia.

Absolutely not. It feels... it feels unlucky.

It needs to be something warm.

Something a bit, I don't know, sexy.

How about Mavis?

Uh...

-"Sybil"?

-Great.

-Prudence?

-Gwendolyn?

-Perfect.

-Winifred.

-Winifred? Winifred.

-I could go with Winifred.

That's because it's very good.

This isn't Mr Banks. This isn't... This isn't him.

-Uh, yes, that's Mr Banks.

-But he has a set of moustaches.

In the book, he has them.

I told the illustrator I did not like the facial hair,

but she chose to ignore me.

Now this time around, this is my film,

and I shall have my way.

Mrs Travers, this is a specific request from Walt.

Why?

-Well, I think he identifies...

-He didn't, he doesn't.

Mr Banks is clean-shaven.

Does it matter?

Bob...

Does it matter?

Bob...

You can wait outside.

I shan't say it again, Robert.

What is wrong with his leg?

He got shot.

(That's hardly surprising.)

Can I expect any more drama from anyone else?

CHILDREN LAUGH AND SHOUT

Why do you do that?

For you, my dear.

Tell me, Gintamina...

..which kind of kisses do you prefer?

Scratchy ones, or silky ones?

Silky ones.

Well, then, swish!

Swoosh!

A man must shave for to spare his daughter's cheeks.

Swish.

Swoosh.

Swoosh.

# Supercalifragilistic- expialidocious! #

Stop! Stop! Stop!

What on earth are you talking about?

"Supercali..."? "Supercal..."? Or whatever the infernal thing is.

It's something you say when you don't know what to say.

Well, I always know what to say.

If you so much as step one foot in here with that trolley,

I shall scream.

One cannot live on cake alone.

'Well, hit me with it.'

She has a lot of...ideas.

Yeah? What kind of ideas?

The name "Cynthia" has been changed to "Winifred".

Fine, fine, fine.

She won't approve Dick Van Dyke.

HE LAUGHS

SHE GIGGLES

The sketches of the Banks house make it look too opulent.

There must be no hint of romance between Mary Poppins and Bert.

She wants to know why Mr Banks has been given a moustache.

Oh, I asked for that.

Yes, they told her that, but she wants to know why.

Because I asked for it.

Right. Of course.

Uh, the tape measure Mary Poppins uses

to record Jane and Michael's height must be a roll tape, not a ruler.

She only wants green vegetables and broth.

I don't know what that is,

but she wants it in the room from now on.

And... Oh!

She doesn't want the colour red in the film.

At all.

I've simply gone off the colour.

We can't make the picture without the colour red.

The film is set in London, for Pete's sake.

And?

Well, there's buses and mailboxes and guards' uniforms and things.

And heck, the English flag.

I understand your predicament, Mr Disney, I do.

Uh, it's just...

I don't know what it is.

I'm suddenly very anti-red.

I shan't be wearing it ever again.

Is this a test, Pamela?

Are you requiring proof as to how much I want to make you happy,

so we can create this beautiful thing together?

I took you at your word, Mr Disney.

And it seems my first stipulation has been denied.

There will be many more.

So, perhaps we should just call it quits

and I should hand you back these.

All right.

No red in the picture.

-Walt.

-Walt!

Wait.

He doesn't have the rights.

Quite.

Tommie?

Scotch Mist?

What do you think?

-What do I think, what?

-You're a woman.

Oh, that's a canny observation, Walt.

What am I missing here?

You think the female of the species has some sort of psychic insight

when it comes to others of her kind?

We don't.

You're going to get an ulcer with all that unriddling.

Give it up.

That woman.

Good afternoon, ma'am. What can I fix you?

A pot of tea, if you please.

Sure thing.

Ma'am.

Tea is balm for the soul, don't you agree?

Catch the chook!

Grab her!

Girls, will you please just stop?

BABY CRIES

It's OK, it's OK. I know, I know.

In you go.

All right?

CRYING CONTINUES

It's OK.

Ahoy, Goffs! Ahoy!

Father!

Whoa! That's better.

What a wonderful surprise.

Did you finish early?

No, I couldn't stop thinking of my beautiful girls

on this beautiful day in this beautiful place.

And I thought, "To hell with it!"

But don't you have work to do?

"But, but, but..."

Butts are for goats, my love.

I'll put in extra hours tomorrow.

A gift of a pear for milady.

Thank you.

Now, what are we playing?

-The hen got out and we've been trying to catch her.

-Ah.

That's no hen.

That's Aunt Ellie, your mother's horrendiferous sister!

That's a made-up word.

Yes, it is.

-Hurry, catch her before she flies away on the...

-West wind!

West wind.

-Quick, get Aunt Ellie!

-Ellie!

Come on, Biddy!

That way.

Oh, she's a foul fowl!

Get Aunt Ellie!

Come on.

Grab her!

Hurry, Sergeant Ginty! Fell the beast!

Darling, it's just that I'm a little scared.

Meg, sweet, I had a throat scratch.

But the bank is getting you down again.

-Perhaps my sister can help.

-No. God, no.

I can endure. I will endure.

For the girls. Just, please...

Oh, God, not Ellie.

She's a foul fowl.

-It's gotta be like a slogan.

-Her prescription for life.

-"An apple a day?"

-"A stitch in time."

"Time and tide wait for no man."

Sugar.

"Sugar"? Yeah?

Jeff had vaccination day at school yesterday.

-Ouch.

-No ouch.

-No ouch?

-Sugar.

They put it in a cube.

-Medicine in sugar?

-"Cube" is an odd word.

"Spoonful."

You need sugar? We have sugar.

Well, morning! May I walk with you?

I'm sure there aren't any laws in your country against it.

# A robin feathering his nest

# Has very little time to rest... #

Go back to the chorus.

# For a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down

# The medicine... #

It's not... It's missing...

Wait.

-She always does the unexpected.

-Mm-hm.

She goes up the banisters.

BOTH: Go up!

# Just a spoonful of sugar

# Helps the medicine go down... #

That's it, that's it, that's it.

COUGHING

Man is in the forest. I want you to play that for him.

Walt, hold on. I want you to hear this.

-It's just the chorus.

-Tell us what you think.

# He knows... #

THEY BOTH HARMONISE

# For a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down

# The medicine go down Medicine go down

# Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down... #

THEY HARMONISE

We'll work out the rest of the lyrics.

-You see how it goes up on the word "down"?

-On "down", it goes up.

-It's ironic.

-Oh, forget "ironic". It's iconic.

I won't be able to stop singing that for weeks.

HE HUMS HAPPILY

Well, it seems enormously patronising to me.

Just the sort of annoying tune you'd have playing

in your themed park, I dare say.

All giddy and carefree, encouraging children to face the world unarmed.

All they need is a spoon and some sugar

and a brain full of fluff and they're equipped with life's tools.

Wonderful(!)

What's your point, Pam?

"Mrs Travers", please.

My point is that, unlike yourself,

Mary Poppins is the very enemy of whimsy and sentiment.

She's truthful. She doesn't sugar-coat the darkness in the world

that these children will eventually, inevitably come to know.

She prepares them for it. She deals in honesty.

One must clean one's room.

It won't magically do it by itself.

This entire script is flim-flam. Hmm?

Where is its heart? Where is its reality?

Where...is the gravitas?

No weight, Mr Disney.

See?

"No whimsy or sentiment," says the woman

who sent a flying nanny with a talking umbrella

to save the children.

You think Mary Poppins has come to save the children, Mr Disney?

Oh, dear.

Mr Belhatchett.

Good afternoon.

After you, my dear.

Allow me.

INDISTINCT SHOUTING

..or if I'm five minutes late opening his stupid bank!

Well, then, he'll take to me

with the business end of his beautiful hatchet!

There! Whack!

"Take that for not dropping your bairns on schedule!"

Whack! "Go on, then! Take that! Take that!"

-Mr Belhatchett...

-I want you gone.

Ginty.

Sweet thing, what are you doing here?

You said today was ice-cream day.

Ice-cream day. Yes, I did.

Of course, of course.

What kind of a father am I? Come here.

Are you fired again?

Yes. It does seem that...

No, sweetheart. No.

He's not.

HE SIGHS

Darling, wait inside for a second.

Mr Belhatchett...

If you can't straighten up for your own sake,

do it for your daughter.

Irresponsible.

We share a Celtic soul, you and I.

This world,

it's just an illusion, Ginty, old girl.

As long as we hold that thought dear, they can't break us.

They can't make us endure their reality.

Bleak and bloody as it is.

Money. Money, money.

Don't you buy into it, Ginty.

It'll bite you on the bot.

I loathe this place, Mr Russell.

It's bringing up these...

Well, it's so hot and stuffy.

I feel as if I'm being attacked.

There's these odd dreams,

as if my subconscious were after me,

punishing me for entertaining the idea

that I might hand her over.

I'm at war with myself, Mr Russell.

The script's ghastly.

Empty pap, just as I expected.

Yes. A few more days, then I'll decide.

Oh.

Serves me right.

Money, money, money.

It bit me on the bot.

# Feed the birds Tuppence a bag

# Tuppence, tuppence Tuppence a bag

# Feed the birds That's what she cries

# While overhead her birds fill the skies

# All around the cathedral The saints and apostles

# Look down as she sells her wares

# Although you can't see it You know they are smiling

# Each time someone shows that he cares

# Though her words are simple and few

# Listen, listen She's calling to you

# Feed the birds Tuppence a bag

# Tuppence

# Tuppence

# Tuppence a bag. #

That'll work.

But she's going to say no, isn't she?

The woman's a conundrum.

# My world was calm

# Well ordered, exemplary... #

"Exemplary."

# Then came this person With chaos in her wake

# And now my life's ambitions go

# With one fell blow

# It's quite a bitter pill to take... #

Inspired by someone we know?

You'd have to ask Bob.

-She might surprise us all.

-No, no, no, she won't.

-You don't know that.

-No, I do. I do know it.

I know it only too well.

I fought this battle from her side.

Pat Powers.

Oh, he wanted the mouse,

and I didn't have a bean in my pocket back then.

He was this big, terrifying New York producer,

I was just a kid from Missouri with a sketch of Mickey.

It would've killed me to give him up.

Honest to God, would've killed me.

That mouse is family.

Go home.

FATHER: 'This world,

'it's just an illusion, Ginty old girl.'

Ah, the Countess Mary Sparklestick.

Pray, tell me, what are you concentrating so hard on?

I'm laying eggs.

Really? Fabulous.

-Today, I'm a hen.

-Indeed.

I can see the feathers sprouting as we speak.

Helen Goff, will you lay the table for supper, please?

I'm not Helen.

She can't possibly lay the table, she's busy laying eggs.

-Helen, will you lay the table for supper, please?

-She's laying!

Sorry.

-BABY CRIES

-Ssh!

-I should...

-Ginty.

Don't you ever stop dreaming, Ginty, my love.

You can be anyone you want to be.

-Anyone.

-I want to be just like you.

Don't.

Don't...

HE SOBS

SOBBING CONTINUES

Are you all right, Mrs?

Mrs Travers?

Mrs Travers.

We were saying we'd like to play you the song in the bank.

Would that be good?

Mmm.

OK.

Fidelity Fiduciary Bank.

I am Dawes.

"So, you have tuppence.

"May I be permitted to see it?

"No, I want it

"to feed the birds," Michael says.

"Fiddlesticks, boy!

"Feed the birds and what have you got?"

ALL: Fat birds!

But...

# If you invest your tuppence Wisely in the bank

# Safe and sound

# Soon the tuppence Safely invested in the bank... #

VOICE FADES

BELL RINGS

BRASS BAND PLAYS: Men Of Harlech

Mrs Brill says Father is presenting the medals.

He is, indeed. On behalf of the bank.

-Maybe he'll pin one on me for the maypole.

-He might.

Where is Father?

I think he's practising his speech somewhere.

Two, please.

'# And you'll achieve That sense of conquest

'# As your affluence expands'

# In the hands of the directors

# Who invest as propriety demands. #

Father!

MEN LAUGH AND CHATTER

Back in Ireland. Ah!

I miss her green hills so.

BACKGROUND MUSIC DROWNS SINGING

BRASS BAND STOPS

SILENCE DESCENDS

Why is he speaking for the bank?

-He IS the manager, sir.

-He looks terrible.

Good afternoon, distinguished guests,

our biggest supporter, Mr Randolph Belhatchett,

and his lovely wife.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls.

I'm honoured to be here on behalf of

the Belhatchett Bank of Australia.

Shortly, it will, uh...

it will be my very pleasant duty

to present the awards to our young performers.

But, we, uh... But before I begin,

allow me a very few words to our very youngest citizens

about the, uh... About the, uh,

the role of the bank in our community.

# When you deposit tuppence in a bank account

-# Soon... #

-Soon, you'll see...

# ..that it blooms into credit of a... #

..generous amount.

# ..semiannually... #

ALL: # And you'll achieve that sense of stature

# As your influence expands

# To the high financial strata

# That established credit now commands

# You can purchase first and second trust deeds

-# Think of the...

-Foreclosures!

-Bonds!

-Chattels!

-Dividends!

-Shares!

-Bankruptcies!

-Debtor sales!

-Opportunities!

-'All manner of...'

-Private enterprise!

-Shipyards!

-The Mercantile!

-Collieries!

-Tanneries!

-Incorporations!

-Amalgamations!

ALL: Banks!

APPLAUSE

Thanking you kindly. Thank you.

HE COUGHS

I, um...

Where was I?

Ah!

Oh, yeah.

It's a marvellous thing to encourage our children to open bank accounts.

Marvellous thing!

My, my, uh... My daughter, the Princess Ginty!

She's... She's...

Uh, how old are you?

Ginty, come up. Come up here.

Come, Ginty.

Ginty has an account, and that's good!

Well, give her a drink!

I mean, give her a hand.

MURMURING

SCATTERED APPLAUSE

I shall return in just a few moments to present the awards.

But right now...

I need to relieve myself.

Give us your shoulder, Ginty, will you?

I'm bursting. There's a good girl.

LOUD GASPS

HE LAUGHS

HE LAUGHS

'# ..in the Dawes Tomes, Mousely, Grubbs

'# Fidelity Fiduciary'

# Bank! #

-I think it works.

-It's getting close.

Why did you have to make him so cruel? He was not a monster!

Who are we talking about? I'm confused.

You all have children, yes?

Yes, yes.

And do those children make letters for you?

Do they write letters? Do they make you drawings?

And would you tear up those gifts in front of them?

It's a dreadful thing to do. I don't understand.

Why must Father tear up the advertisement

his children have made, and throw it in the fireplace?

Why won't he mend their kite?

Why have you made him so unspeakably awful?

In glorious Technicolor, for all the world to see?

If you claim to make them live, why can't he...

they...live well?

I can't bear it. Please, don't.

Please, don't. I feel like I let him down again.

Mrs Travers?

I don't suppose you can give me any more for the pain?

When will enough be enough, Travers?

Hmm?

I brought you something, Father.

Be a darling, Ginty, my old pal. Come here.

(Come here. Come close.)

I'm sick.

You'll help Father out, won't you?

In my washroom, there's a bottle of medicine that Father needs.

Mother took it away.

Oh, goddamn it!

I wrote you a poem, Father.

It won first place at school.

Shall I read it to you, Father?

HE SNATCHES PAPER

HE RUSTLES PAGE

HE WHIMPERS QUIETLY

It's hardly Yeats, is it?

Mrs?

I, uh... I brought you a tea.

It's blasphemy to drink tea from a paper cup.

Oh. Uh...

Here.

Is everything OK, Mrs?

Would you like me to drive you home?

All the way to England? Yes, please.

You, uh... You got family back there, Mrs?

You're an impertinent man, you know?

You ask an awful lot of questions that have absolutely no relevance

to your being able to carry out your duties.

HE LAUGHS

I know. Yeah, I do, do that, yes.

And you have no barometer.

Let's just say I haven't family

who would notice whether I were halfway across the world

or sitting in my living room.

Make a furrow. There.

That's a good stick for digging.

-A furrow?

-Yes.

All right.

I got a kid.

Most people do.

Jane.

Yeah.

What a terrific kid.

Beautiful little girl.

She's got a lot of problems, though.

She's handicapped, you know?

She's in a wheelchair.

See, and that's why I concern myself with the weather so much.

Sunny day, she can sit outside in the garden.

Rainy day, I gotta leave her cooped up inside.

I worry about the future...

but you can't do that.

Only today.

Mmm.

Yeah.

Now, look.

It's a bandstand.

Ah!

Ah! A river!

-Lake.

-Lake.

Hmm.

Hey, hey, hey, I sure would like to take her there.

Wouldn't that be nice?

Mother?

I know you gave it to him.

Take care of your sisters.

What?

I know you love your father more.

But one day, you will understand.

Hmm.

Mother!

Mother?

< Mother!

Mother!

BABY CRIES

Come on, Albert.

Mother!

Please!

Mother!

Mother!

Mother!

It's time to go home.

-SHE SOBS

-I'm sorry!

Oh, my God.

I'm sorry.

SHE SOBS

Yes, that will be very good.

Let's have that.

I think we should go with Frida Kahlo.

TELEPHONE RINGS

Mrs Travers. Yes?

HE COUGHS

Pam. Walt.

Mr Disney.

I'm calling to, uh... Well, to check up on you.

'I understand things didn't go so well today.

'Something about Mr Banks?'

They went as well as they've gone on every other day that I've been here.

I don't recall any special phone calls from you

on any of those other evenings.

Pam, what's this all about?

I mean, really?

I'm wondering what I have to do to make you happy.

Oh.

'And you're wondering that, too, aren't you?'

You know, you've never been to Disneyland,

'and that's the happiest place on Earth.'

Tommie! Cancel my morning tomorrow.

I'm going to take a ride with my favourite author.

No, no, no, please, Mr Disney, I cannot begin to tell you

how uninterested, no, positively sickened I am

at the thought of visiting your dollar-printing machine.

Well, for crying out loud,

when does anybody get to go to Disneyland with Walt Disney himself?

Disappointments are to the soul

what the thunderstorm is to the air.

Hello?

HE SLAMS THE PHONE DOWN

LINE BUZZES

He...

He hung up. He hung up...!

Guys, we gotta fix this.

HORSES NEIGH

Father, wind's from the east.

The aunt.

FLIES BUZZ

Oh, dear.

Now...

I've brought every newfangled treatment available in Sydney.

Close your mouth, Biddy. We are not a codfish.

Hmm.

Now, I see a multitude of jobs that need to be done.

I've just been, um... I've been so worried.

Oh, stop your babbling nonsense.

I'm here now, and I shall fix everything.

I thought I made it perfectly clear that you two ought to start helping.

Hmm?

Spit-spot!

Where are we? This isn't the way.

Change of venue this morning, apparently.

Oh...

Wow!

There he is!

Living and breathing.

HE LAUGHS

Oh, boy!

Oh, I can get that.

Mrs Travers, welcome to the Magic Kingdom.

-Is it all like this?

-Yep.

Isn't it wonderful?

-Hey.

-Do you always get everything you want, Walter?

-Pretty much.

-With the exception of the rights to my books, of course.

Well, the war ain't over yet, Pam.

The war ain't over yet.

-I love you so much.

-Oh, whoa!

-Can you sign...?

Sure, sure. Here you go.

Here you go.

-Pre-signed?

-Hey, you should get hers, too.

This woman is a bona fide genius.

The tour starts this way, Pam.

Hot dog.

Whoa, whoa, whoa...

Move along, move along. Up, up, up, up!

That's good. That's good.

Each section of the park has a high point

so you can get your bearings.

In Adventureland, there's a tree.

This is a fun fact, this is a titbit.

"Tidbit".

It's got three million leaves, four million flowers.

-Gosh.

-They said only God could make a tree.

MAN: Mr Disney, sir, would you mind signing this?

No. Do you one better. Here you go, have a great day.

Oh. Thank you so much.

-Mr Disney!

-Hey.

Where did she come from?

Who?

Oh, I think you know.

She flew in through the window one day.

"Flew in through the window."

It was just that easy, was it, Mrs Travers?

Do you see those spires?

Plated with 24-carat gold.

Roy was against it,

so I waited until he was out of town to get it done.

How clever.

Now, I know you don't want to be here,

so, I'm just going to take you to one ride.

My favourite amusement, and then I'll set you free.

Hello, Mr Disney!

Hello, folks, how are you? Enjoy the day.

Hey, kids.

Ernie.

-Welcome. Right this way.

-Thank you so much. Excuse me, please.

Mrs Travers, I would be honoured

if you would take a ride on Jingles, here.

This is Mrs Disney's favourite horse.

No, thank you. I'm happy to watch.

Now, there's no greater joy than that

seen through the eyes of a child,

and there's a little bit of a child in all of us.

Maybe in you, Mr Disney, but certainly not in me.

Get on the horse, Pamela.

Now, when we first met,

you said to me, "They're family."

I said what?

Mary Poppins, the Bankses. They're family.

The boys have come up with an idea for your Mr Banks.

I think it's going to make you happy.

You didn't bring me all the way out here to tell me that?

Oh, no, no, no.

I brought you all the way out here for monetary gain.

I had a wager with the boys. Couldn't get you on a ride.

I just won 20 bucks.

BELL RINGS

H'yah!

I see you. I see you.

Well begun is half done.

There you go.

Give it a whack, Biddy. Nice and hard.

HE COUGHS

Morning, Mrs Travers.

What horrors have you in store for my beautiful characters today?

You sit here.

All right.

What are you up to?

We were thinking about what you said,

and you're right.

Mr Banks isn't cruel. He isn't.

So, we have a new end for the film.

Oh, God, I hope you like it.

Michael says, "He mended it. It's wonderful."

"However did you manage it?"

He mended the kite?

PIANO INTRO STARTS

# With tuppence for paper and strings

# You can have your own set of wings

# With your feet on the ground you're a bird in flight

# With your fist holding tight

# To the string of your kite

ALL: # Oh, oh, oh!

# Let's go fly a kite

# Up to the highest height

# Let's go fly a kite

# And send it soaring

# Up through the atmosphere

# Up where the air is clear

# Oh, let's go fly a kite... #

Then, Mrs Banks runs through her house.

She gets the suffragette ribbon, and says...

"A proper kite deserves a proper tail, don't you think?"

# Oh, oh, oh!

# Let's go fly a kite