Pennod 2 O'r Diwedd: 2016 Am Flwyddyn!


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Pennod 2

Tudur Owen, Sian Harries ac eraill sy'n cymryd golwg ddychanol ar ddigwyddiadau 2016. The second of two programmes taking a satirical look at 2016 with Tudur Owen, Sian Harries ...


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LineFromTo

-*

0:00:000:00:00

-The Boardroom 5.01pm

0:00:000:00:03

-We've reached a decision.

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-You can record the second part

-of your review of 2016.

0:00:070:00:11

-Yes!

-It's obviously been well received.

0:00:110:00:14

-Not really. It's been noted that

-you've omitted a lot of material.

0:00:140:00:19

-Trump. Iraq.

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-But we don't

-want to remember those things.

0:00:210:00:24

-Not to worry,

-we know things are looking bleak...

0:00:240:00:29

-..but since

-you're recording a show...

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-..that'll be broadcast

-on New Year's Eve...

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-..you have

-our permission to use... this.

0:00:360:00:40

-A glitter cannon.

0:00:400:00:42

-The countdown to the New Year isn't

-complete without a glitter cannon.

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-The show'll be over by midnight.

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-The show'll be over by midnight.

-

-Oh, no.

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-We never do the countdown

-to the New Year at midnight.

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-Most our viewers

-have gone to bed by then.

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-Welcome to O'r Diwedd.

-She's Sian Harries.

0:01:190:01:22

-This is the second part

-of our review of 2016.

0:01:220:01:25

-And I'm Tudur Owen.

0:01:250:01:27

-Welcome to the start

-of the big countdown to 2017.

0:01:270:01:31

-Only 7,020 seconds to go. Whoo-hoo!

0:01:310:01:34

-If you're pretending this is live,

-you'll have to change the clock.

0:01:340:01:38

-You're right.

-Look, we've got the glitter cannon.

0:01:390:01:43

-There now follows

-a political broadcast.

0:01:450:01:48

-This factory has closed...

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-..and that's a bad thing.

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-This is Labour's fault.

0:01:530:01:55

-We've decided that more good things

-are needed in Wales...

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-..and fewer bad things.

0:02:010:02:04

-This factory has closed

-and that's bad.

0:02:040:02:08

-But it's not our fault.

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-The Tories at Westminster

-are to blame.

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-So, you know...

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-..what can you do, innit?

0:02:170:02:19

-This factory has closed...

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-..but I sold my shares

-just in the nick of time.

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-This factory has closed

-and that's bad.

0:02:270:02:31

-I'm so lonely.

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-This factory's closed.

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-That's a bad thing.

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-We put the blame on the

-Welsh-language education policy...

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-..remoaners and brown people.

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-How's that? Make any sense?

-All gobbledegook to me anyway.

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-Yeah? Shifter? Drinks?

0:02:590:03:01

-Here we go!

0:03:030:03:05

-Hey, come on!

0:03:060:03:07

-The Welsh Assembly

-has never been an exciting place.

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-For years the most

-controversial talking point...

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-..was if Nick Bourne's

-hair came in a spray can.

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-This year he had to contend with

-the European Referendum.

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-While Brexit was like a blockbuster

-full of glamorous things...

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-..like high-speed boat chases,

-fantasy and baddies...

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-..the Welsh Assembly was more like

-a film you'd watch when you're ill.

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-The Assembly's election night

-was as boring as usual.

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-9,480.

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-Places where the votes were counted

-had put up crash mats...

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-..in case people wanted to

-fling themselves at walls.

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-There was a bit of commotion

-when UKIP secured seven seats...

0:03:540:03:58

-..and the cousin of The Simpsons'

-Mr Burns, Neil Hamilton, turned up.

0:03:580:04:02

-Christine

-had to obviously accompany him...

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-..until she was

-freaked out by Welsh folk.

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-I think Neil

-just leaves her in the car now.

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-With the window

-rolled down a little, like a dog.

0:04:120:04:15

-Alright?

-What do you want for dinner tonight?

0:04:180:04:22

-You had chips last night.

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-You had chips last night.

-

-Neil!

0:04:240:04:26

-Hello?

0:04:290:04:30

-Hello?

-

-Neil!

0:04:300:04:32

-Neil!

0:04:320:04:34

-Neil!

0:04:360:04:37

-Labour was the most popular party.

0:04:370:04:39

-They elected Carwyn Jones

-as First Minister of Wales.

0:04:400:04:44

-Then, the most exciting thing

-to happen in the Senedd...

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-..since Rhodri Morgan got gum

-stuck in his hair took place.

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-Plaid Cymru elected Leanne Wood

-as First Minister too.

0:04:510:04:54

-The Tories and UKIP supported her...

0:04:550:04:58

-..until she and Carwyn

-received 29 votes apiece.

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-The place went nuts -

-people were panicking...

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-..Carwyn Jones started crying.

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-We can't show the pictures

-but we can play a recording...

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-..of what happened at the time.

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-MAN SOBS

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-A spokesperson explained that

-it was due to a medical condition.

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-Something really uncommon

-amongst politicians.

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-I can't recall the name.

-Oh, yes, feelings.

0:05:280:05:31

-Plaid claimed

-Labour refused to work with them.

0:05:310:05:34

-Labour accused Plaid of a sordid

-deal with the Tories and UKIP.

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-Neil Hamilton claimed

-he was having discussions.

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-Turns out he was

-just talking to a really shiny door.

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-In the end, the problem was resolved

-by the Liberal Democrats...

0:05:450:05:49

-..or rather the only one left,

-Kirsty Williams.

0:05:490:05:53

-She stood up in support of Carwyn.

0:05:530:05:56

-She said people should grow up

-because this wasn't democracy.

0:05:560:06:00

-She also offered to take someone to

-the cinema because she was lonely.

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-I used to like it

-when Welsh politics caused a stir...

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-..but as the rest of 2016

-unfolded...

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-..I've come to realize I don't want

-politics full of scandals and coups.

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-I love the fact

-that nothing much happens here.

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-Thanks for being so bloody boring!

0:06:200:06:23

-Sorry!

0:06:230:06:24

-Neil! Neil!

0:06:250:06:27

-Neil! Neil!

-

-Is she alright?

0:06:270:06:29

-No. Dim...

0:06:300:06:32

-Are you OK?

0:06:320:06:34

-Are you OK?

-

-Neil!

0:06:340:06:35

-The question remains.

0:06:420:06:45

-How did the body

-end up in the attic...

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-..if you say

-the time of death was 21.00 hours?

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-Approximately 21.00 hours.

0:06:540:06:56

-Approximately 21.00 hours?

0:06:560:06:59

-Yes.

0:07:000:07:01

-Well, which one?

0:07:020:07:04

-21.00 hours or not?

0:07:040:07:05

-21.00 hours or not?

-

-Give or take.

0:07:050:07:07

-I don't want take, I want give.

0:07:080:07:11

-There's too much taking

-and not enough giving.

0:07:120:07:15

-I can't think.

-I'm going to stare at the horizon.

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-But...

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-Where's my coat?

0:07:200:07:23

-Here. Be careful.

0:07:230:07:26

-I will.

0:07:260:07:28

-OK, guys, keep rolling.

-That was great.

0:07:290:07:32

-Really great. We'll do the Welsh

-language version straightaway.

0:07:330:07:37

-Back to positions.

-Soon as possible, guys. All set.

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-Here we go, then.

0:07:410:07:43

-And action.

0:07:430:07:45

-A remains enquiry.

0:07:460:07:48

-How did the body

-belonging to him...

0:07:490:07:51

-..end up with throbbing...

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-..if you express the death time...

0:07:550:07:57

-..at 2,100 hours?

0:07:580:08:00

-Approximately 2,100 hours.

0:08:010:08:04

-Approximately 2,100 hours?

0:08:060:08:08

-Yes.

0:08:090:08:10

-Well, witch me?

-2,100 hours or knot?

0:08:110:08:14

-Yes. Gift or offer.

0:08:140:08:17

-I don't require a gift for myself

-I require an offer for myself.

0:08:190:08:23

-Two many gifts and knot enough

-offers here, flat fish.

0:08:240:08:28

-I understand belief.

0:08:280:08:30

-I'll stare at horizons.

0:08:300:08:32

-Butt...

0:08:320:08:33

-Where's my goat?

0:08:340:08:35

-Where's my goat?

-

-Here she is.

0:08:350:08:36

-Bee careful.

0:08:370:08:39

-I testament.

0:08:400:08:41

-There now follows

-a political broadcast.

0:08:420:08:45

-We want to see this place

-have more powers like Scotland has.

0:08:450:08:51

-We believe

-Wales deserves more good things...

0:08:510:08:57

-..and fewer bad things.

0:08:570:08:59

-We want to see this place

-have more powers...

0:09:000:09:03

-..but not like Scotland

-because they're scary.

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-Breakfast.

0:09:070:09:09

-We, well...

0:09:110:09:14

-..I...

0:09:140:09:16

-..want to see this place

-have more powers...

0:09:160:09:19

-..and more people.

0:09:190:09:21

-I'm so lonely.

0:09:230:09:25

-We want to see this place

-have a bar.

0:09:260:09:29

-Is that alright?

0:09:310:09:33

-Not those kind of bars.

0:09:330:09:36

-Don't film that.

-I hope you didn't film that.

0:09:360:09:39

-Right. To the bar.

0:09:390:09:41

-The proper one.

0:09:420:09:44

-America voted.

-I stayed up all night to watch it.

0:09:490:09:52

-I had no idea what was going on -

-it was like a cerdd dant festival.

0:09:530:09:57

-And Trump won.

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-And the entire world went...

0:10:000:10:03

-The pundits had to guess...

0:10:070:10:09

-..what President Trump

-was going to do next...

0:10:090:10:13

-..which wasn't easy

-because for 18 months...

0:10:130:10:16

-..he's been contradicting himself.

0:10:160:10:19

-In March he said he'd

-break the nuclear deal with Iran.

0:10:190:10:22

-By the summer he said he'd keep it.

0:10:220:10:24

-People'd be better off

-voting for a dice.

0:10:250:10:27

-An even number we bomb it,

-an odd number we don't.

0:10:280:10:32

-Oh, well! We'll never know.

0:10:370:10:39

-For the time being, at least.

0:10:390:10:41

-It reminds me

-of a famous German poem.

0:10:410:10:44

-I've tried to adapt it

-for the Welsh language.

0:10:450:10:48

-First he went for the Muslims

0:10:480:10:52

-But I didn't say anything

-because I'm not a Muslim

0:10:520:10:56

-I shared it on Facebook

-and it got tons of likes

0:10:570:11:00

-Then he went for the Mexicans

0:11:000:11:03

-But I didn't say anything

-because I'm not a Mexican

0:11:040:11:07

-He said something stupid about

-climate change but I didn't respond

0:11:080:11:12

-Then he went for gay people

0:11:120:11:16

-But I didn't say anything

-because I'm not gay

0:11:160:11:19

-I clicked an angry face on Facebook

-because I was livid

0:11:200:11:23

-Then he went for the disabled

0:11:230:11:27

-Did you see that impersonation?

0:11:280:11:30

-The disabled

0:11:300:11:32

-I favourited a meme on Twitter,

-like thousands of others

0:11:340:11:37

-And then he went for

-our history teachers

0:11:370:11:41

-For our history teachers

0:11:410:11:44

-And I thought,

-'I'm going to say something

0:11:450:11:47

-'He's not going to be in power

-for another three weeks'

0:11:470:11:51

-It's not too late. Is it too late?

0:11:510:11:54

-Hello, I'm a woman on television.

0:11:570:11:59

-This salad is delicious.

0:11:590:12:01

-But it's not just salad

-on my mind these days.

0:12:020:12:05

-I'm angry and scared

-because of Donald Trump.

0:12:050:12:08

-Not just because of this tattoo.

0:12:090:12:10

-I'm worried that Donald Trump is a

-threat to women all over the world.

0:12:110:12:15

-Muslim women,

-Hispanic women and LGBT.

0:12:150:12:19

-Trump's not a maverick, think of him

-as a sapling that's blossomed...

0:12:210:12:26

-..in a huge heap of shit

-of Republican attitudes to women.

0:12:270:12:31

-From abortions to trans people's

-rights to go to the toilet...

0:12:310:12:35

-..this is a party that thinks it can

-do what it likes with our pussies.

0:12:350:12:39

-Don't get caught on tape next time.

0:12:390:12:41

-Vice President Pence

-is famous for believing...

0:12:440:12:48

-..that gay women can be cured

-with straight sex and prayer.

0:12:480:12:51

-He says we go against nature,

-just like this spaghetti.

0:12:520:12:55

-And the president himself

-has vowed to jail Hillary Clinton.

0:12:560:13:01

-His attitudes to women

-swing from boys will be boys...

0:13:010:13:05

-..to boy, oh, boy!

0:13:050:13:07

-It's time to do

-what women have always done.

0:13:110:13:14

-Roll up our sleeves. Come on,

-girls, we have a lot of work to do.

0:13:140:13:18

-.

0:13:290:13:30

-Subtitles

0:13:310:13:31

-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

0:13:310:13:33

-There now follows

-a political broadcast.

0:13:360:13:39

-We've had a meeting

-and we've decided...

0:13:390:13:43

-..that we need more money...

0:13:430:13:45

-..for education,

-health and public services.

0:13:450:13:50

-We've had a meeting

-and we've decided...

0:13:500:13:53

-..that we need to spend

-more money on education...

0:13:540:13:57

-..health...

0:13:570:14:00

-..and public services.

0:14:000:14:02

-But we don't have any money.

0:14:020:14:04

-We've had a meeting

-and we've decided...

0:14:040:14:08

-..that we need

-to make a list of foreigners...

0:14:080:14:11

-..who go to the doctor.

0:14:110:14:14

-I've been sitting in a room...

0:14:140:14:16

-..by myself.

0:14:160:14:19

-Gluh-mith...

0:14:210:14:23

-Sorry, I'm a bit pissed now.

-Can you say that in English?

0:14:230:14:26

-Port Talbot's steelworks has

-sustained the town for generations.

0:14:270:14:30

-It's responsible

-for the sulphur aroma found here.

0:14:300:14:34

-Unlike the countryside. If something

-goes wrong, it smells of bleach.

0:14:340:14:38

-If all's fine, it smells of shit.

0:14:390:14:41

-I'm not quite sure what came first -

-Port Talbot or steel.

0:14:430:14:48

-But I'm sure

-that when the iron age ended...

0:14:480:14:52

-..bang, Port Talbot was there.

0:14:520:14:54

-By now, steel and Port Talbot

-are an integral part of one another.

0:14:540:14:59

-You try walking around town

-with a magnet in your pocket...

0:14:590:15:03

-..and see how far you get.

0:15:040:15:06

-The largest steelworks

-in Europe in the 1960s...

0:15:090:15:12

-..and Wales' biggest employer.

0:15:120:15:14

-I don't know who holds the record

-nowadays - Greggs perhaps?

0:15:140:15:18

-It's vital to this town's

-economy because it employs 10%...

0:15:180:15:23

-..of Port Talbot's people.

0:15:240:15:26

-For the rest of us,

-it's something to stare at...

0:15:270:15:30

-..while we're

-grinding to a halt on the M4.

0:15:300:15:33

-The steelworks have changed hands

-several times in its history.

0:15:330:15:37

-It was bought

-by the Tata company in 2006.

0:15:380:15:42

-The writing was

-literally on the wall, wasn't it?

0:15:420:15:45

-In February, Tata announced...

0:15:460:15:49

-..it had

-made losses of 68 million.

0:15:500:15:52

-It asked

-the European Union for help.

0:15:530:15:55

-It was like asking for life rings

-that weren't tied to the shore.

0:15:560:15:59

-Port Talbot was losing

-one million pounds a day.

0:15:590:16:04

-But there was good news

-in early December.

0:16:060:16:09

-Tata wasn't about to say ta-ta

-after all.

0:16:100:16:13

-As is often the case

-in Port Talbot...

0:16:130:16:16

-..things aren't

-quite that straightforward.

0:16:160:16:19

-The Chinese

-are now selling their steel...

0:16:190:16:22

-..cheaper than

-sweet and sour pork balls.

0:16:220:16:25

-Western governments

-don't want to upset the Chinese...

0:16:250:16:29

-..because they're holding them

-by their sweet and sour pork balls.

0:16:300:16:34

-What this town needs is a hero.

0:16:350:16:37

-Hold up, boiled rice.

0:16:370:16:40

-They have several heroes.

0:16:400:16:42

-Burton, Hopkins...

0:16:430:16:46

-..Harpwood.

0:16:460:16:48

-Maybe not him, but one of the town's

-sons is being hailed as the Messiah.

0:16:500:16:55

-What they need is a Hollywood

-blockbuster featuring those stars.

0:17:060:17:10

-Well, apart from those

-who've since departed. And Cleif.

0:17:100:17:14

-But I can see it now.

0:17:140:17:16

-Ordinary folk pitted against

-the malicious foreign enemy.

0:17:160:17:20

-In a world of steel...

0:17:220:17:24

-..three men stand strong...

0:17:240:17:28

-..and fight

-the malicious Chinese empire.

0:17:290:17:32

-Oh, my...! What are you doing?

0:17:340:17:36

-A film trailer. Want to be in it?

0:17:370:17:39

-No. You're playing a baddie

-and you're sure you're Chinese?

0:17:400:17:44

-Kimonos are Japanese, aren't they?

0:17:450:17:47

-I can't believe you've done this.

-It's racist.

0:17:480:17:52

-They're not going to be watching.

0:17:520:17:54

-They're not going to be watching.

-

-Nobody's going to be watching.

0:17:540:17:57

-The Young Farmers do it.

0:17:570:17:59

-Tough, I'm not letting you do it.

0:17:590:18:01

-Tough, I'm not letting you do it.

-

-We see no problem at all with that.

0:18:010:18:04

-She's lying!

0:18:190:18:21

-Cut! OK, very nice.

0:18:230:18:26

-Reset for the Welsh language version

-as soon as possible, please.

0:18:260:18:31

-Action!

0:18:330:18:35

-She's reclining!

0:18:410:18:43

-We always do the catering

-for the Lib Dems' Christmas party.

0:18:520:18:57

-It's nice

-that they still ask us, really.

0:18:580:19:01

-They always support

-local businesses.

0:19:030:19:06

-We leave the radio on

-so she doesn't feel lonely.

0:19:130:19:16

-You OK, Nathan?

0:19:230:19:25

-Pity!

0:19:290:19:31

-One good thing

-about Assembly parties nowadays...

0:19:310:19:35

-..is that they tend to be smaller

-events but there are more of them.

0:19:350:19:38

-Yoo-hoo! Hiya, Daf.

0:19:420:19:45

-# Saying it's gonna be alright

0:19:450:19:48

-# Cos the players

-gonna play, play, play, play, play

0:19:480:19:51

-# And the haters

-gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate

0:19:520:19:54

-# I'm just gonna

-shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

0:19:550:19:57

-# Shake it off, shake it off #

0:19:580:20:00

-Hello and welcome.

0:20:110:20:12

-We're featuring people...

0:20:130:20:14

-..who've been getting away

-with things for too long.

0:20:150:20:18

-Tonight...

0:20:180:20:19

-..this man's had free rein

-for five years...

0:20:200:20:23

-..but managed

-to put all the blame on Nick Clegg.

0:20:230:20:27

-How did he get away with that?

0:20:270:20:29

-This man managed to persuade

-Scotland to stay in the UK...

0:20:290:20:34

-..as it was the only way they

-could stay in the European Union.

0:20:350:20:38

-And then he left the EU. How on

-earth did he get away with that?

0:20:390:20:44

-But our main criminal is this man.

0:20:450:20:47

-David Panama Papers Cameron.

0:20:470:20:50

-Panama's the place to go

-if you have more money than sense.

0:20:510:20:55

-The Panama Papers

-leaked the client details...

0:20:560:20:59

-..of the law firm Mossack Fonseca,

-which is massive.

0:20:590:21:04

-11.5 million documents...

0:21:040:21:07

-..were shared on a specific website

-akin to Facebook for rich people.

0:21:070:21:13

-We thought he was involved.

0:21:140:21:17

-I own no shares, no offshore trusts

-or funds, nothing like that.

0:21:170:21:21

-That's what he said

-at the start of the week...

0:21:210:21:24

-..but within days

-he'd changed his tune.

0:21:240:21:27

-We owned 5,000 units

-in Blairmore Investment Trust...

0:21:270:21:31

-..which we sold in January 2010.

0:21:320:21:35

-We know a week

-is a long time in politics...

0:21:350:21:39

-..but how on earth

-was he able to get away with that?

0:21:390:21:43

-Finally tonight,

-do you remember this man?

0:21:430:21:46

-Yes, he's back.

0:21:460:21:49

-Tony Blair, who led us into a war...

0:21:490:21:53

-..that was unnecessary, and legally,

-was far from satisfactory.

0:21:530:21:58

-Not my words,

-but those of John Chilcot.

0:21:580:22:01

-We don't know

-how he got away with that.

0:22:020:22:05

-We thought

-he'd disappeared for good...

0:22:060:22:09

-..but apparently

-he was inspired by David Cameron...

0:22:090:22:13

-..to return

-to the scene of the crime.

0:22:130:22:15

-Imagine ballsing up so bad

-as a politician...

0:22:150:22:19

-..that even Tony Blair fancies

-his chances, for fuck's sakes.

0:22:190:22:24

-It's almost the end of the show

-and almost the end of 2016.

0:22:240:22:29

-We're almost ready for

-the big countdown. Glitter cannon!

0:22:290:22:33

-It's obviously being recorded.

-Why are you looking forward to 2017?

0:22:330:22:38

-It's a new year.

0:22:380:22:39

-It's a new year.

-

-Why do you think it'll be different?

0:22:390:22:41

-That's how it goes -

-out with the old, in with the...

0:22:420:22:45

-Trump?

0:22:450:22:47

-Trump?

-

-It'll be new start.

0:22:470:22:48

-It'll be different from 2016.

0:22:490:22:53

-Look! Four, three...

0:22:530:22:56

-Trump will be

-the leader of the western world.

0:22:560:22:59

-Happy New Year!

0:23:010:23:03

-Good luck, everyone.

0:23:040:23:06

-Hush. Come on, if you stop crying,

-I'll give you a treat.

0:23:090:23:13

-# I'm just gonna

-shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

0:23:180:23:20

-# Shake it off, shake it off

0:23:210:23:23

-# Shake it off, shake it off

0:23:240:23:27

-# Shake it off, shake it off

0:23:270:23:30

-# Shake it off, shake it off

0:23:300:23:33

-# Shake it off, shake it off #

0:23:330:23:35

-S4C Subtitles by Adnod Cyf.

0:23:360:23:38

-.

0:23:380:23:38

Tudur Owen, Sian Harries ac eraill sy'n cymryd golwg ddychanol ar ddigwyddiadau 2016. The second of two programmes taking a satirical look at 2016 with Tudur Owen, Sian Harries and others.