Pennod 1 O'r Diwedd: 2016 Am Flwyddyn!


Pennod 1

Tudur Owen, Sian Harries ac eraill sy'n cymryd golwg ddychanol ar ddigwyddiadau 2016. From Trump to the Euros, Tudur Owen, Sian Harries and the crew take a satirical look back a...


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Transcript


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-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

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-We want to create something fresh.

-Something that's fun.

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-Something that...

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-Something that...

-

-Excites.

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-Yes, excites

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-What else says

-fresh, fun and excitement more...

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-..than a look back

-over the events of 2016.

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-We want you to cover everything.

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-Brexit? The War in Syria?

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-David Bowie's death?

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-Prince's death?

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-Who?

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-Who?

-

-Trump.

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-Yes, but keep it light.

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-Any questions?

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-Could we do any other year?

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-Hello and welcome to O'r Diwedd...

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-..with young and talented

-comedienne Sian Harries...

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-And Tudur... from?

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-And Tudur... from?

-

-Anglesey.

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-..who lives on Anglesey.

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-We've been asked to review 2016

-so... Can you budge up?

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-Why?

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-Why?

-

-It's a bit weird.

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-This is how we do it on S4C.

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-I can feel you breathing.

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-Right, on tonight's programme...

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-The response

-of Plaid Cymru's membership...

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-..to the news

-that Dafydd Elis-Thomas...

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-..won't be at the annual conference.

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-Fans of the TV programme Prisoner

-recreate the experience...

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-..of being imprisoned

-in Portmeirion.

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-We talk to everyone who believes

-they're the leader of UKIP in Wales.

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-All that on the way.

-Let's crack on...

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-I'd rather you say start. Crack on

-doesn't suit the S4C audience.

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-OK, let's start.

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-Excuse me, what are you doing?

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-Excuse me, what are you doing?

-

-It's for S4C.

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-Oh, sorry.

-Are you buying that or what?

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-You're starting to piss people off.

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-England and Wales

-voted to leave the European Union.

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-To be fair, you can see why

-because we didn't really benefit....

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-Oh. Can we find another location?

-This doesn't fit in with the story.

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-England and Wales voted...

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-What? Oh...!

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-England and Wales...

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-Sorry, sheep.

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-Subsidies.

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-When England and Wales voted

-to leave the European Union...

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-..it's fair to say

-that there was a lot of work to do.

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-Not by this man, of course,

-he was gone faster...

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-..than A Bake Off producer

-with a missed call from Channel 4.

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-Up to then, this pair had been the

-Mel and Sue of the Brexit campaign.

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-Suddenly, they looked like

-they wanted to follow Cameron...

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-..as they joined in with the

-most uninspiring victory party ever.

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-For the UK's political parties...

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-..there were non-stop

-leadership battles.

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-The most interesting

-was the Tory leadership battle...

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-..which included our Stephen Crabb.

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-He walked out of the contest.

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-To the side.... Crabb...

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-Gove had spouted

-during the referendum...

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-..that the British were fed up

-of experts.

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-To prove a point,

-he contested the leadership battle.

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-He'd promised Boris

-that he'd help with his campaign.

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-By campaigning himself...

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-..he soon realised

-that no-one supported him either.

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-Just like the referendum,

-it came down to two choices.

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-The familiar and unfamiliar.

-Theresa May and Andrea Leadsom.

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-People knew little about Leadsom.

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-They looked at her CV

-which was a pack of lies.

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-That explains the bus.

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-Andrea Leadsom decided that being

-Prime Minister was difficult...

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-..so she pulled out...

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-..but still added it to her CV.

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-This left us with Theresa May.

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-This left us with Theresa May.

-

-Thank you.

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-Meanwhile, in UKIP...

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-..Farage pretended to be Charlie

-Bucket in Trump's golden lift.

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-I would have given anything to be a

-fly on the wall at their meeting...

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-..if only to land on their food

-and give them both diarrhoea.

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-I don't know how they did it

-but it's incredible.

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-UKIP managed to get the Tories

-to do their dirty work...

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-..while Farage enjoyed trips

-in golden lifts...

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-..during weekly

-UKIP leadership campaigns.

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-We'll wait and see what happens

-to Paul Nuttall, the new leader.

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-If you're watching this

-on repeat...

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-..you'd best Google 'UKIP leader'.

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-Things change quickly

-but we're trying our best.

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-What? This received

-European funding? Are you sure?

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-I'm not doing it again.

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-Midland - The void

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-How long has he been in there?

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-Hard to tell. A day or two.

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-Phone for back-up, Sergeant,

-I'm going to stare at something.

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-I don't have...

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-I don't have...

-

-Just phone.

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-There's no signal.

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-Nothing.

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-No, not a bread lorry - dead body.

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-He's gone again.

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-Shit.

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-Gunshot wound to the head.

-Brains all over the wall.

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-Not drains, brains.

-Maggots coming out of his eyes.

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-Maggots!

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-Have you got a signal?

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-Lucy Owen produced a programme...

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-..asking should she send

-her child to a Welsh-medium school?

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-The Western Mail stated that

-Jamie Roberts had become a doctor...

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-..despite being taught in Welsh.

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-Twitter went nuts with the hashtag

-#despitebeingtaughtinwelsh

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-People insisted that despite

-being taught in Welsh...

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-..they'd been successful in life

-after all.

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-Despite being

-a Western Mail reader...

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-..I have heard of a place

-called North Wales.

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-Despite being

-a Western Mail reader...

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-..I don't give a shit that

-Kylie Minogue's granny is Welsh.

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-Despite being a Western Mail

-reader, I don't like rugby.

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-Shit.

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-In 2016, Donald Trump was elected

-as President of the USA.

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-In the depths of West Wales,

-a former member of the SAS...

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-..runs a Survival Course in Welsh.

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-Right, soldier, why are you here?

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-I'm scared of Donald Trump.

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-Yeah, Trump.

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-Trump?

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-Yeah. Oh, and I'd like to learn

-how to cook a fish outdoors.

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-You've come to the right place.

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-Once we've finished here,

-you'll be ready for anything.

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-Nuclear winter, World War.

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-During the next three days, it'll

-be like the shit hitting the fan.

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-We have to...

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-Survive.

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-Exactly.

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-OK?

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-OK?!

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-OK?!

-

-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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-Since you're new to this world...

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-..here are a few things

-to make life easier.

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-Scrabble.

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-Scrabble.

-

-Welsh Scrabble.

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-Are we using this to catch the fish?

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-We'll use it to make one of these.

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-What's that?

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-What's that?

-

-Goodness me...

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-..someone's forgotten his roots -

-a lyre.

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-Don't we need to light a fire?

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-How will we sing around

-a fire without one of these?

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-I still think a fire is important.

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-Anyone can light a fire.

-Fire's safe enough.

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-How many people can make a lyre?

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-Only two people.

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-They live in Brecon.

-Nice enough, smell a bit.

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-What use is a lyre

-in an apocalyptic world?

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-What is the point of surviving if

-Welsh traditions don't survive too?

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-OK, we'll all make a lyre.

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-Can we light a fire afterwards?

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-No need. I lit one earlier.

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-2016 was a busy year for Death.

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-Death?

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-What was your favourite?

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-What was your favourite?

-

-Favourite death?

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-OMG, this year has been amazing.

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-What's been unexpected

-is all the celebs I've met.

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-It's been a dream come true.

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-I love celebs. It's exciting.

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-Showbiz.

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-I must admit, I was

-a little starstruck sometimes...

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-..but I think

-I remained professional.

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-However tempting it was

-to ask for a selfie...

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-..it's not the right time, somehow.

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-Having said that,

-Lemmy did ask me for one.

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-Hell of a boy.

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-This is the Scythe 7s.

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-A present for myself

-for working so hard.

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-To be honest,

-it's all tax deductible.

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-It's my only expense -

-I don't go out or go on holiday.

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-No, no,

-I'm really looking forward to 2017.

0:10:400:10:45

-I have high hopes for Donald Trump.

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-Don't get me wrong,

-I don't want to meet him...

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-..but he has the codes

-to the nuclear warheads.

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-Fingers crossed.

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-Despite being

-a Western Mail reader...

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-..we're forward thinking people.

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-Oh, no, oh!

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-Oh!

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-.

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-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

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-It was interesting to see

-how Wales voted in the referendum.

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-I'm not sure everyone knew

-what they were voting for.

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-Mark my words, we will make

-breakfast... Brexit a success.

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-Well, it's an easy mistake to make.

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-I often wake up thinking, "I'd

-love to leave the European Union...

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-"..pull out of the single market,

-destabilise the economy and...

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-"No, no... breakfast,

-that's what I'd like now.

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-"Just a bowl of Rice Krispies."

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-What will the judges think?

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-The final task is preparing

-the day's most important meal.

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-Andrew is first to present.

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-The continental style Brexit.

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-Breakfast.

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-Breakfast.

-

-Breakfast. That's what I meant. Why?

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-It's tasty...

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-..it's healthy...

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-..it's good for you

-and it's simple to prepare.

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-Where did you source the fruit?

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-The oranges are Spanish

-and the grapes are French.

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-Not a good start for Andrew.

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-Thanks.

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-Right, Stephanie.

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-What have you prepared?

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-It's the traditional

-great British breakfast...

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-..with chips, a cup of tea in a mug,

-a can of Coke and a Twix.

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-First impressions, excellent.

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-It looks like a piece of artwork,

-Stephanie.

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-The judges look happy.

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-How will it taste?

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-Before we taste it,

-from where does the bacon come?

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-Anglesey.

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-Right, the bacon.

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-Congratulations.

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-There we go. The choice is done.

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-It might make them

-fatter, poorer and more ill...

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-..but the judges have chosen.

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-2016 will be remembered forever...

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-..as the year of the

-Great British Brexit... Breakfast!

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-Breakfast.

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-A story that well and truly

-scarred Wales's culture...

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-Water?

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-There's no toilets either.

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-An epic tale

-of paying the ultimate price

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-Will this nightmare ever end?

0:14:390:14:42

-And the band are shit.

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-Festival No. 6

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-One thing about 2016 will stand out

-like sweetcorn in a turd.

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-Wales in the Euros.

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-Many had given up hope of seeing

-Wales in a major championship.

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-Bodin. He's missed.

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-After years of pain...

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-..finally,

-Wales on the international stage.

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-Hallelujah.

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-I told the missus

-I'd be home in 12 days.

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-16 days tops.

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-How was I to know

-I'd be out there for a month?

0:15:380:15:41

-We're Wales - it doesn't make sense.

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-Go Wales.

0:15:430:15:45

-Before you say

-je ne suis pas anglais...

0:15:460:15:49

-..it was time for the football

-to start, and it did, in Bordeaux.

0:15:490:15:53

-Before reaching the stadium, there

-was talk of Hennessey being injured.

0:15:550:15:59

-The consensus amongst my friends

-before kick-off was...

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-.."We're fucked,

-we're totally fucked now."

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-But we won.

0:16:090:16:10

-Where did we go next?

0:16:150:16:17

-To play England in Lens.

0:16:180:16:20

-Let's not talk about this, yeah?

-Cut.

0:16:210:16:24

-We went down to Toulouse

-to get our own back on the Russians.

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-And we did!

0:16:300:16:31

-So, we were in the knock-outs.

0:16:330:16:35

-Who did we face?

-Bloody Northern Ireland.

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-Like going abroad and bumping into

-Elwyn and Marian from next-door.

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-Over to Lille

-to play the talented Belgians.

0:16:440:16:47

-I'll be honest,

-this was my last hurrah!

0:16:480:16:50

-We were no-hopers.

0:16:510:16:53

-That night was hazy.

0:16:530:16:55

-I ended up drinking

-with trouserless Belgians...

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-..who lost their cecks

-after a bet with a Frenchman.

0:16:590:17:02

-More importantly, Robson Kanu

-scored the best goal ever.

0:17:030:17:08

-The first touch is good.

0:17:080:17:10

-Robson Kanu in possession.

-A perfect shot!

0:17:110:17:15

-Hal Robson Kanu

-has scored again for Wales.

0:17:150:17:18

-That caps one of the best moves...

0:17:180:17:21

-Down to Lyon for the semi-final.

0:17:210:17:24

-Semi-final - can't believe it.

0:17:240:17:26

-It was a step too far

-especially without Ramsey.

0:17:270:17:32

-The squad had a warm welcome

-back in Cardiff.

0:17:340:17:38

-Mind you, we're Welsh.

0:17:400:17:42

-There had to be an argument.

0:17:430:17:45

-The Archdruid kicked things off...

0:17:450:17:47

-..by saying the players

-weren't welcome in the Gorsedd...

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-..because they didn't speak Welsh.

0:17:510:17:53

-James Chester must be gutted

-he couldn't wear the white robe.

0:17:530:17:58

-Despite the roaming charges...

0:17:580:18:00

-..which resulted in no-one I know

-getting presents this Christmas...

0:18:010:18:05

-..it was the best summer ever.

0:18:050:18:07

-If I were a poet,

-I'd write an englyn about it.

0:18:090:18:12

-As it is, I'll be happy saying

-it was fuckin' brilliant.

0:18:120:18:16

-Midland - the void

0:18:200:18:24

-We must have missed something.

0:18:270:18:29

-Do you want me to turn around?

0:18:300:18:33

-No, we'll go over everything

-back in the station.

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-OK.

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-Is there a toilet on the way?

0:18:390:18:41

-I think there's one

-in the next village.

0:18:420:18:44

-Bloody closed.

0:19:010:19:03

-There's one in Llanborth.

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-There's one in Llanborth.

-

-What are you waiting for? Go.

0:19:050:19:08

-Do it behind a tree.

-It's easy for you. I won't peek.

0:19:090:19:12

-Just go.

0:19:130:19:15

-It's closed.

0:19:240:19:26

-How do you know what?

0:19:260:19:27

-How do you know what?

-

-The shutters are down.

0:19:270:19:29

-Looks hopeful.

0:19:360:19:38

-I think I read about this one

-in the paper.

0:19:390:19:42

-It wasn't successful.

0:19:430:19:45

-What? What's the point of leaving

-the banner up if it's closed?

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-We can try a pub.

-You could buy a packet of nuts.

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-Too late.

-Just take me home, Sergeant.

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-Take me home.

0:20:090:20:12

-In the depths of West Wales, the

-Survival Course in Welsh continues.

0:20:130:20:20

-Hands up who's carved a love spoon.

0:20:200:20:23

-What?

0:20:240:20:25

-What?

-

-If we're the last ones alive...

0:20:250:20:27

-..we must keep

-Welsh traditions alive.

0:20:280:20:31

-That can only mean one thing.

0:20:310:20:34

-Love spoons.

0:20:360:20:37

-I think I've signed up

-to the wrong course.

0:20:380:20:41

-It's a post-apocalyptic

-Welsh survival course.

0:20:410:20:44

-What's this one?

0:20:470:20:48

-A fertility symbol.

0:20:480:20:50

-A fertility symbol.

-

-What's on the back?

0:20:500:20:52

-What does it look like?

0:20:520:20:53

-What does it look like?

-

-It looks like Arfon Haines Davies.

0:20:530:20:56

-I was watching repeats

-of Pen-blwydd Hapus at the time.

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-Apocalypse or not,

-Arfon will live forever.

0:21:010:21:06

-Hello. Sorry to disturb your group.

0:21:060:21:10

-Welsh.

0:21:120:21:13

-I'm sorry?

0:21:140:21:15

-I'm sorry?

-

-Welsh.

0:21:150:21:16

-It's Welsh. It means 'in Welsh'.

0:21:160:21:19

-I'm so sorry, we don't speak Welsh.

0:21:190:21:22

-What the hell have you done?

0:21:260:21:28

-They tried to destroy

-our community with their English.

0:21:280:21:32

-What community?

0:21:330:21:34

-This one. Ours.

-Our new beginning. Our Eden.

0:21:340:21:38

-We're supposed to learn basic

-survival skills for 100 each.

0:21:380:21:42

-I paid 60.

0:21:430:21:44

-Not now, Dave.

0:21:450:21:46

-Not now, Dave.

-

-You're insane.

0:21:460:21:48

-I'll just pop to the village...

0:21:480:21:49

-I'll just pop to the village...

-

-Don't be stupid. We have food here.

0:21:490:21:53

-# We wish you a merry Christmas

0:21:530:21:56

-# We wish you a merry Christmas

0:21:560:21:58

-Please.

0:21:580:21:59

-# And a happy new year #

0:22:000:22:02

-You're so annoying.

0:22:020:22:04

-Where's your Christmas spirit, Sian?

0:22:040:22:07

-I don't believe in Christmas.

0:22:080:22:10

-You're an atheist anyway.

0:22:100:22:12

-You're an atheist anyway.

-

-Not on the telly.

0:22:120:22:14

-Is that why you were so weird

-in that meeting?

0:22:160:22:19

-The programme airs over Christmas.

0:22:200:22:23

-So behave.

0:22:230:22:25

-So behave.

-

-Yes. Behave.

0:22:250:22:27

-We need the programme presented

-in a suitable manner.

0:22:270:22:30

-Really?

0:22:310:22:32

-Really?

-

-Of course.

0:22:320:22:33

-I don't believe...

0:22:340:22:36

-I don't believe...

-

-Don't believe you'll have time.

0:22:360:22:39

-She goes to chapel regularly

-over Christmas.

0:22:390:22:43

-We want to give our viewers

-something that portrays...

0:22:430:22:47

-..the true meaning of Christmas.

0:22:480:22:50

-Merry Christmas.

0:22:530:22:55

-Is there peace?

0:22:560:22:58

-Peace.

0:22:580:22:59

-Is there peace?

0:23:000:23:02

-Peace.

0:23:030:23:05

-Fish.

0:23:050:23:06

-It's a double.

0:23:080:23:09

-S4C Subtitles by Adnod Cyf.

0:23:300:23:32

-.

0:23:320:23:33

Tudur Owen, Sian Harries ac eraill sy'n cymryd golwg ddychanol ar ddigwyddiadau 2016. From Trump to the Euros, Tudur Owen, Sian Harries and the crew take a satirical look back at 2016.