Pennod 2 O'r Diwedd: 2016 Am Flwyddyn!


Pennod 2

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-*

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-The Boardroom 5.01pm

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-We've reached a decision.

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-You can record the second part

-of your review of 2016.

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-Yes!

-It's obviously been well received.

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-Not really. It's been noted that

-you've omitted a lot of material.

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-Trump. Iraq.

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-But we don't

-want to remember those things.

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-Not to worry,

-we know things are looking bleak...

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-..but since

-you're recording a show...

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-..that'll be broadcast

-on New Year's Eve...

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-..you have

-our permission to use... this.

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-A glitter cannon.

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-The countdown to the New Year isn't

-complete without a glitter cannon.

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-The show'll be over by midnight.

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-The show'll be over by midnight.

-

-Oh, no.

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-We never do the countdown

-to the New Year at midnight.

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-Most our viewers

-have gone to bed by then.

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-Welcome to O'r Diwedd.

-She's Sian Harries.

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-This is the second part

-of our review of 2016.

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-And I'm Tudur Owen.

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-Welcome to the start

-of the big countdown to 2017.

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-Only 7,020 seconds to go. Whoo-hoo!

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-If you're pretending this is live,

-you'll have to change the clock.

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-You're right.

-Look, we've got the glitter cannon.

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-There now follows

-a political broadcast.

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-This factory has closed...

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-..and that's a bad thing.

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-This is Labour's fault.

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-We've decided that more good things

-are needed in Wales...

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-..and fewer bad things.

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-This factory has closed

-and that's bad.

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-But it's not our fault.

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-The Tories at Westminster

-are to blame.

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-So, you know...

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-..what can you do, innit?

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-This factory has closed...

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-..but I sold my shares

-just in the nick of time.

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-This factory has closed

-and that's bad.

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-I'm so lonely.

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-This factory's closed.

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-That's a bad thing.

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-We put the blame on the

-Welsh-language education policy...

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-..remoaners and brown people.

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-How's that? Make any sense?

-All gobbledegook to me anyway.

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-Yeah? Shifter? Drinks?

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-Here we go!

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-Hey, come on!

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-The Welsh Assembly

-has never been an exciting place.

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-For years the most

-controversial talking point...

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-..was if Nick Bourne's

-hair came in a spray can.

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-This year he had to contend with

-the European Referendum.

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-While Brexit was like a blockbuster

-full of glamorous things...

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-..like high-speed boat chases,

-fantasy and baddies...

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-..the Welsh Assembly was more like

-a film you'd watch when you're ill.

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-The Assembly's election night

-was as boring as usual.

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-9,480.

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-Places where the votes were counted

-had put up crash mats...

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-..in case people wanted to

-fling themselves at walls.

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-There was a bit of commotion

-when UKIP secured seven seats...

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-..and the cousin of The Simpsons'

-Mr Burns, Neil Hamilton, turned up.

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-Christine

-had to obviously accompany him...

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-..until she was

-freaked out by Welsh folk.

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-I think Neil

-just leaves her in the car now.

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-With the window

-rolled down a little, like a dog.

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-Alright?

-What do you want for dinner tonight?

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-You had chips last night.

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-You had chips last night.

-

-Neil!

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-Hello?

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-Hello?

-

-Neil!

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-Neil!

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-Neil!

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-Labour was the most popular party.

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-They elected Carwyn Jones

-as First Minister of Wales.

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-Then, the most exciting thing

-to happen in the Senedd...

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-..since Rhodri Morgan got gum

-stuck in his hair took place.

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-Plaid Cymru elected Leanne Wood

-as First Minister too.

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-The Tories and UKIP supported her...

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-..until she and Carwyn

-received 29 votes apiece.

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-The place went nuts -

-people were panicking...

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-..Carwyn Jones started crying.

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-We can't show the pictures

-but we can play a recording...

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-..of what happened at the time.

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-MAN SOBS

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-A spokesperson explained that

-it was due to a medical condition.

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-Something really uncommon

-amongst politicians.

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-I can't recall the name.

-Oh, yes, feelings.

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-Plaid claimed

-Labour refused to work with them.

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-Labour accused Plaid of a sordid

-deal with the Tories and UKIP.

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-Neil Hamilton claimed

-he was having discussions.

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-Turns out he was

-just talking to a really shiny door.

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-In the end, the problem was resolved

-by the Liberal Democrats...

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-..or rather the only one left,

-Kirsty Williams.

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-She stood up in support of Carwyn.

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-She said people should grow up

-because this wasn't democracy.

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-She also offered to take someone to

-the cinema because she was lonely.

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-I used to like it

-when Welsh politics caused a stir...

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-..but as the rest of 2016

-unfolded...

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-..I've come to realize I don't want

-politics full of scandals and coups.

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-I love the fact

-that nothing much happens here.

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-Thanks for being so bloody boring!

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-Sorry!

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-Neil! Neil!

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-Neil! Neil!

-

-Is she alright?

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-No. Dim...

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-Are you OK?

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-Are you OK?

-

-Neil!

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-The question remains.

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-How did the body

-end up in the attic...

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-..if you say

-the time of death was 21.00 hours?

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-Approximately 21.00 hours.

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-Approximately 21.00 hours?

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-Yes.

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-Well, which one?

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-21.00 hours or not?

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-21.00 hours or not?

-

-Give or take.

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-I don't want take, I want give.

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-There's too much taking

-and not enough giving.

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-I can't think.

-I'm going to stare at the horizon.

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-But...

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-Where's my coat?

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-Here. Be careful.

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-I will.

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-OK, guys, keep rolling.

-That was great.

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-Really great. We'll do the Welsh

-language version straightaway.

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-Back to positions.

-Soon as possible, guys. All set.

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-Here we go, then.

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-And action.

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-A remains enquiry.

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-How did the body

-belonging to him...

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-..end up with throbbing...

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-..if you express the death time...

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-..at 2,100 hours?

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-Approximately 2,100 hours.

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-Approximately 2,100 hours?

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-Yes.

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-Well, witch me?

-2,100 hours or knot?

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-Yes. Gift or offer.

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-I don't require a gift for myself

-I require an offer for myself.

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-Two many gifts and knot enough

-offers here, flat fish.

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-I understand belief.

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-I'll stare at horizons.

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-Butt...

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-Where's my goat?

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-Where's my goat?

-

-Here she is.

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-Bee careful.

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-I testament.

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-There now follows

-a political broadcast.

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-We want to see this place

-have more powers like Scotland has.

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-We believe

-Wales deserves more good things...

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-..and fewer bad things.

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-We want to see this place

-have more powers...

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-..but not like Scotland

-because they're scary.

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-Breakfast.

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-We, well...

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-..I...

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-..want to see this place

-have more powers...

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-..and more people.

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-I'm so lonely.

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-We want to see this place

-have a bar.

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-Is that alright?

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-Not those kind of bars.

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-Don't film that.

-I hope you didn't film that.

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-Right. To the bar.

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-The proper one.

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-America voted.

-I stayed up all night to watch it.

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-I had no idea what was going on -

-it was like a cerdd dant festival.

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-And Trump won.

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-And the entire world went...

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-The pundits had to guess...

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-..what President Trump

-was going to do next...

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-..which wasn't easy

-because for 18 months...

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-..he's been contradicting himself.

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-In March he said he'd

-break the nuclear deal with Iran.

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-By the summer he said he'd keep it.

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-People'd be better off

-voting for a dice.

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-An even number we bomb it,

-an odd number we don't.

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-Oh, well! We'll never know.

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-For the time being, at least.

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-It reminds me

-of a famous German poem.

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-I've tried to adapt it

-for the Welsh language.

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-First he went for the Muslims

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-But I didn't say anything

-because I'm not a Muslim

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-I shared it on Facebook

-and it got tons of likes

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-Then he went for the Mexicans

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-But I didn't say anything

-because I'm not a Mexican

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-He said something stupid about

-climate change but I didn't respond

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-Then he went for gay people

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-But I didn't say anything

-because I'm not gay

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-I clicked an angry face on Facebook

-because I was livid

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-Then he went for the disabled

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-Did you see that impersonation?

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-The disabled

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-I favourited a meme on Twitter,

-like thousands of others

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-And then he went for

-our history teachers

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-For our history teachers

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-And I thought,

-'I'm going to say something

0:11:450:11:47

-'He's not going to be in power

-for another three weeks'

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-It's not too late. Is it too late?

0:11:510:11:54

-Hello, I'm a woman on television.

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-This salad is delicious.

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-But it's not just salad

-on my mind these days.

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-I'm angry and scared

-because of Donald Trump.

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-Not just because of this tattoo.

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-I'm worried that Donald Trump is a

-threat to women all over the world.

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-Muslim women,

-Hispanic women and LGBT.

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-Trump's not a maverick, think of him

-as a sapling that's blossomed...

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-..in a huge heap of shit

-of Republican attitudes to women.

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-From abortions to trans people's

-rights to go to the toilet...

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-..this is a party that thinks it can

-do what it likes with our pussies.

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-Don't get caught on tape next time.

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-Vice President Pence

-is famous for believing...

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-..that gay women can be cured

-with straight sex and prayer.

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-He says we go against nature,

-just like this spaghetti.

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-And the president himself

-has vowed to jail Hillary Clinton.

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-His attitudes to women

-swing from boys will be boys...

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-..to boy, oh, boy!

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-It's time to do

-what women have always done.

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-Roll up our sleeves. Come on,

-girls, we have a lot of work to do.

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-.

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-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

0:13:310:13:33

-There now follows

-a political broadcast.

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-We've had a meeting

-and we've decided...

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-..that we need more money...

0:13:430:13:45

-..for education,

-health and public services.

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-We've had a meeting

-and we've decided...

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-..that we need to spend

-more money on education...

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-..health...

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-..and public services.

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-But we don't have any money.

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-We've had a meeting

-and we've decided...

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-..that we need

-to make a list of foreigners...

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-..who go to the doctor.

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-I've been sitting in a room...

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-..by myself.

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-Gluh-mith...

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-Sorry, I'm a bit pissed now.

-Can you say that in English?

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-Port Talbot's steelworks has

-sustained the town for generations.

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-It's responsible

-for the sulphur aroma found here.

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-Unlike the countryside. If something

-goes wrong, it smells of bleach.

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-If all's fine, it smells of shit.

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-I'm not quite sure what came first -

-Port Talbot or steel.

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-But I'm sure

-that when the iron age ended...

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-..bang, Port Talbot was there.

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-By now, steel and Port Talbot

-are an integral part of one another.

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-You try walking around town

-with a magnet in your pocket...

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-..and see how far you get.

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-The largest steelworks

-in Europe in the 1960s...

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-..and Wales' biggest employer.

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-I don't know who holds the record

-nowadays - Greggs perhaps?

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-It's vital to this town's

-economy because it employs 10%...

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-..of Port Talbot's people.

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-For the rest of us,

-it's something to stare at...

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-..while we're

-grinding to a halt on the M4.

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-The steelworks have changed hands

-several times in its history.

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-It was bought

-by the Tata company in 2006.

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-The writing was

-literally on the wall, wasn't it?

0:15:420:15:45

-In February, Tata announced...

0:15:460:15:49

-..it had

-made losses of 68 million.

0:15:500:15:52

-It asked

-the European Union for help.

0:15:530:15:55

-It was like asking for life rings

-that weren't tied to the shore.

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-Port Talbot was losing

-one million pounds a day.

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-But there was good news

-in early December.

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-Tata wasn't about to say ta-ta

-after all.

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-As is often the case

-in Port Talbot...

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-..things aren't

-quite that straightforward.

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-The Chinese

-are now selling their steel...

0:16:190:16:22

-..cheaper than

-sweet and sour pork balls.

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-Western governments

-don't want to upset the Chinese...

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-..because they're holding them

-by their sweet and sour pork balls.

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-What this town needs is a hero.

0:16:350:16:37

-Hold up, boiled rice.

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-They have several heroes.

0:16:400:16:42

-Burton, Hopkins...

0:16:430:16:46

-..Harpwood.

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-Maybe not him, but one of the town's

-sons is being hailed as the Messiah.

0:16:500:16:55

-What they need is a Hollywood

-blockbuster featuring those stars.

0:17:060:17:10

-Well, apart from those

-who've since departed. And Cleif.

0:17:100:17:14

-But I can see it now.

0:17:140:17:16

-Ordinary folk pitted against

-the malicious foreign enemy.

0:17:160:17:20

-In a world of steel...

0:17:220:17:24

-..three men stand strong...

0:17:240:17:28

-..and fight

-the malicious Chinese empire.

0:17:290:17:32

-Oh, my...! What are you doing?

0:17:340:17:36

-A film trailer. Want to be in it?

0:17:370:17:39

-No. You're playing a baddie

-and you're sure you're Chinese?

0:17:400:17:44

-Kimonos are Japanese, aren't they?

0:17:450:17:47

-I can't believe you've done this.

-It's racist.

0:17:480:17:52

-They're not going to be watching.

0:17:520:17:54

-They're not going to be watching.

-

-Nobody's going to be watching.

0:17:540:17:57

-The Young Farmers do it.

0:17:570:17:59

-Tough, I'm not letting you do it.

0:17:590:18:01

-Tough, I'm not letting you do it.

-

-We see no problem at all with that.

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-She's lying!

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-Cut! OK, very nice.

0:18:230:18:26

-Reset for the Welsh language version

-as soon as possible, please.

0:18:260:18:31

-Action!

0:18:330:18:35

-She's reclining!

0:18:410:18:43

-We always do the catering

-for the Lib Dems' Christmas party.

0:18:520:18:57

-It's nice

-that they still ask us, really.

0:18:580:19:01

-They always support

-local businesses.

0:19:030:19:06

-We leave the radio on

-so she doesn't feel lonely.

0:19:130:19:16

-You OK, Nathan?

0:19:230:19:25

-Pity!

0:19:290:19:31

-One good thing

-about Assembly parties nowadays...

0:19:310:19:35

-..is that they tend to be smaller

-events but there are more of them.

0:19:350:19:38

-Yoo-hoo! Hiya, Daf.

0:19:420:19:45

-# Saying it's gonna be alright

0:19:450:19:48

-# Cos the players

-gonna play, play, play, play, play

0:19:480:19:51

-# And the haters

-gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate

0:19:520:19:54

-# I'm just gonna

-shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

0:19:550:19:57

-# Shake it off, shake it off #

0:19:580:20:00

-Hello and welcome.

0:20:110:20:12

-We're featuring people...

0:20:130:20:14

-..who've been getting away

-with things for too long.

0:20:150:20:18

-Tonight...

0:20:180:20:19

-..this man's had free rein

-for five years...

0:20:200:20:23

-..but managed

-to put all the blame on Nick Clegg.

0:20:230:20:27

-How did he get away with that?

0:20:270:20:29

-This man managed to persuade

-Scotland to stay in the UK...

0:20:290:20:34

-..as it was the only way they

-could stay in the European Union.

0:20:350:20:38

-And then he left the EU. How on

-earth did he get away with that?

0:20:390:20:44

-But our main criminal is this man.

0:20:450:20:47

-David Panama Papers Cameron.

0:20:470:20:50

-Panama's the place to go

-if you have more money than sense.

0:20:510:20:55

-The Panama Papers

-leaked the client details...

0:20:560:20:59

-..of the law firm Mossack Fonseca,

-which is massive.

0:20:590:21:04

-11.5 million documents...

0:21:040:21:07

-..were shared on a specific website

-akin to Facebook for rich people.

0:21:070:21:13

-We thought he was involved.

0:21:140:21:17

-I own no shares, no offshore trusts

-or funds, nothing like that.

0:21:170:21:21

-That's what he said

-at the start of the week...

0:21:210:21:24

-..but within days

-he'd changed his tune.

0:21:240:21:27

-We owned 5,000 units

-in Blairmore Investment Trust...

0:21:270:21:31

-..which we sold in January 2010.

0:21:320:21:35

-We know a week

-is a long time in politics...

0:21:350:21:39

-..but how on earth

-was he able to get away with that?

0:21:390:21:43

-Finally tonight,

-do you remember this man?

0:21:430:21:46

-Yes, he's back.

0:21:460:21:49

-Tony Blair, who led us into a war...

0:21:490:21:53

-..that was unnecessary, and legally,

-was far from satisfactory.

0:21:530:21:58

-Not my words,

-but those of John Chilcot.

0:21:580:22:01

-We don't know

-how he got away with that.

0:22:020:22:05

-We thought

-he'd disappeared for good...

0:22:060:22:09

-..but apparently

-he was inspired by David Cameron...

0:22:090:22:13

-..to return

-to the scene of the crime.

0:22:130:22:15

-Imagine ballsing up so bad

-as a politician...

0:22:150:22:19

-..that even Tony Blair fancies

-his chances, for fuck's sakes.

0:22:190:22:24

-It's almost the end of the show

-and almost the end of 2016.

0:22:240:22:29

-We're almost ready for

-the big countdown. Glitter cannon!

0:22:290:22:33

-It's obviously being recorded.

-Why are you looking forward to 2017?

0:22:330:22:38

-It's a new year.

0:22:380:22:39

-It's a new year.

-

-Why do you think it'll be different?

0:22:390:22:41

-That's how it goes -

-out with the old, in with the...

0:22:420:22:45

-Trump?

0:22:450:22:47

-Trump?

-

-It'll be new start.

0:22:470:22:48

-It'll be different from 2016.

0:22:490:22:53

-Look! Four, three...

0:22:530:22:56

-Trump will be

-the leader of the western world.

0:22:560:22:59

-Happy New Year!

0:23:010:23:03

-Good luck, everyone.

0:23:040:23:06

-Hush. Come on, if you stop crying,

-I'll give you a treat.

0:23:090:23:13

-# I'm just gonna

-shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

0:23:180:23:20

-# Shake it off, shake it off

0:23:210:23:23

-# Shake it off, shake it off

0:23:240:23:27

-# Shake it off, shake it off

0:23:270:23:30

-# Shake it off, shake it off

0:23:300:23:33

-# Shake it off, shake it off #

0:23:330:23:35

-S4C Subtitles by Adnod Cyf.

0:23:360:23:38

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0:23:380:23:38

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