Episode 15 Antiques Road Trip

It's the nation's favourite antiques experts.

-With £200 each...

-I want something shiny.

..a classic car and a goal to scour Britain for antiques.

-I like a rummage.

-I can't resist.

The aim - to make the biggest profit at auction, but it's no mean feat.

Why do I always do this to myself?

-There'll be worthy winners...

-Give us a kiss.

-..and valiant losers.

-Come on, stick 'em up!

So will it be the high road to glory...

-Onwards and upwards.

-..or the slow road to disaster?

-Take me home.

-This is Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah!

Welcome to East Anglia and the final chapter with our Scots on tour.

-It's nearly the end, Paul.

-Don't say that!

OK, well, I will, then, because, after several hundred miles,

-Natasha Raskin...

-Paul Laidlaw!

-..yes, Paul Laidlaw,

and li'l red Mercedes are approaching journey's end.

Have you sent any postcards home yet?

HE CHUCKLES

I haven't sent any home.

Well, fortunately,

the adventures of our art expert and auctioneer from Glasgow

have been fairly faithfully recorded,

along with the ups and downs of her fellow doyen.

Do you like? I like.

Our major in militaria is miles ahead, but, as they've gone south,

-the auctions have, well...

-Ouch!

-..followed suit.

-Is that sore?

There is this gap in my recollection.

Somehow I got from a lot of money to a lot less money

in a couple of auctions.

I don't know how that happened.

Like I said, it's been on the telly.

Must be right.

Anyway, Natasha began with £200 but over the course of their trip

that sum has dwindled to a mere £141.04.

Whilst Paul's £200 has both waxed and waned so that

he starts today with £370.04.

I'm in uncertain territory here.

-Lossville. I don't like it.

-You don't like it?

-No, no, no, no.

-Bring me back to Profit Town.

-What's happened to us?

I think I'm rubbing off on you, Paul.

I think I left my mojo in Cumbria.

I wonder where mine's got to...

After kicking off at Prestwick, in the west coast of Scotland,

Paul and Natasha have plotted a course leading south and east,

sojourning in East Anglia before a final auction in Norfolk at Diss.

Today's the day they arrive at that climactic destination

but we start out elsewhere, at North Walsham.

All quiet now, but back in 1831,

North Walsham was up for the Peasants' Revolt.

-Here we are, right to the door.

-Why, thank you.

-Now, remember the rule when we share a shop.

-What's that?

-If you see anything good, let me know.

-Cheeky!

-Hello.

-Hello, there.

-Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Tasha.

-Hi, I'm Michael.

-Nice to meet you, Michael.

-Hello, Paul. Welcome to Timeline.

-Thank you very much. Feels good.

It does feel good. Smells good.

Well, thank you, Natasha. But is it big enough for the both of them?

-We'll see.

-There's something quite nice about this crib.

It's very Victorian. Dark mahogany.

It's got bun feet. It's detailed.

But I think it's maybe too far for me.

As gorgeous as it is, as grand as it is,

it just seems a little bit weird to put a baby,

who can't appreciate such fine detail, in a crib like that.

Save it for the master bedroom.

What's his game, then?

(My word).

Crumbs!

-AMPLIFIED:

-Is it cheap, Natasha?

Ooh!

-Ha-ha!

-What was that? What?

HE LAUGHS

There are very breakable items in here, Paul. Stop giving me a fright.

Well said. Now, wasn't Natasha here just now?

Have I read this right?

This dealer here's having a half-price sale?

-Yeah, he's having a sale.

-I think Natasha's missed that.

Then this piece here, which has already been reduced once,

is that now half that ticket price?

-That is now £50.

-I'd better have a closer look.

You know what the biggest problem with these is?

-There's nothing one can do with them.

-No.

If you've got a big 19th-century residence, dotted in the

corner of a bedroom, what a joyous object, but it's an ornament.

You're certainly not going to put a child anywhere near it.

But it's not been through the wars.

-It's all right, isn't it?

-Yeah, it's sound.

Well, in that case, that's sold.

-Well done.

-Some things you don't haggle on.

-Yeah.

I wonder if there'll be recriminations over that one.

It can happen when it's a bit cheek by jowl.

I don't think I really like Paul being in the same shop.

It doesn't matter so much if it's huge, but this is quite dinky.

This is hard enough as it is, looking for antiques,

without Paul Laidlaw creeping over your shoulder...

-SHOUTS:

-Keep it down, for goodness' sake! Think library!

Paul, you're making me nervous!

I think he might pipe down now for a bit, Natasha.

One could easily dismiss these as a set of early-20th-century

field glasses, binoculars, OK, and, as such, they would be worth £25.

These, however, it's clear to see, are military

because very rugged case,

an ordinance broad arrow and a date here on the case of 1918.

I think there's a fascinating insight into the war here

because these are Mark V specials.

Obviously.

These are termed Galilean. These are traditional.

Very rudimentary. These were only procured as an emergency measure.

The British Army would love to order 100,000 sets of binoculars.

They can not get that many on the open market.

Now, I say "procure". This is the interesting part of the story.

They didn't just buy them.

They set up a campaign whereby they asked YOU, Joe Civilian,

to donate your binoculars to the military

and they'd give you a receipt.

It would see service

and at the end of the war they'd give you your binoculars back.

But there's something else I noticed here that transforms them

from my point of view.

"Quartermaster Sergeant Morton, Scots Guards."

Is that not fantastic?

What was his story during the Great War?

Price tag on these, £48.

With the Scots Guards thing, I think they're worth more than that.

Michael, do you think there's anything to be done

-on that price tag there?

-Yeah, I can make a phone call.

-Could you?

-Yeah.

-I wonder if there could be a decent chunk shaved off that price.

-OK.

If you wouldn't mind asking, in all humility, on my behalf,

-that would be fantastic.

-So what are you looking at?

To be honest with you, to be on the safe side,

I'd like to pay £30 for those.

In order to SEE a profit.

How's Natasha getting on?

I've spotted a word with which I'm very familiar.

Glasgow. This is the Clyde Shipping Company, SS Caledonia.

So the Caledonia that I know of was early 20th century, that took people

from Glasgow to New York, which was then used in the

Second World War and was destroyed by the enemy.

So if it comes from that Caledonia, then that's exciting.

But I'm slightly suspicious of this bucket because anyone who lives in

Glasgow knows that Argyll is an area, with two Ls, but Argyle Street

has an "E" at the end and is spelled differently from the area.

So either I don't know this Argyll Street, double L, in Glasgow,

or this isn't what is purports to be.

It's £58. It's the kind of thing I'd want to buy for a tenner.

Smart move, I'd say.

Now, the last we saw of Paul, he was after buying those binoculars.

I've spoken to the dealer. The best he can do on these is 35.

-Thank you.

-Two in the bag already.

-Tempus fugit, Natasha.

-I really like this clock.

It says on the label here, circa 1900,

and of course it is because it's typical Arts and Crafts.

Beautiful oak and it's got that real sort of rustic appeal.

It's very typical Arts and Crafts, but it does say here on the label,

it's made by the New Haven Clock Company, USA,

but if it's American Arts and Crafts,

quite often this gets described as "Mission".

I think it's really smart.

You can hear it ticking away and there's the pendulum

and striking movement, complete with key, so that's nice too.

It's just a lovely thing.

It's not everyone's cup of tea,

but it's really evocative of an era and I really like it.

£89 is the ticket price.

You can see it strikes.

CLOCK CHIMES

There we go, and, according to the label,

it does that both on the hour and the half-hour so that's quite handy.

It's just quite sweet, isn't it? Let's put it back in motion.

I'd have this in my house.

I think I'd like to talk to Michael about it and see what I can do.

-Gird your loins, son.

-I really like it.

-I think it's cute and I think it's quite unusual...

-OK.

..but I don't have very much money.

I'm just going to come clean. I'd be asking for £40 for it.

OK, I'll give him a ring.

If he's lying down, we'll see what he says.

So can Michael make that offer sound at all appealing?

The ticket price is £89.

40. Mmm.

What would be your best on it?

Straight bat, eh? Good idea.

His best would be 50.

-50? Why not? It's a nice thing. I like it. Let's buy it.

-Well done.

And it's over a third of what she has left.

-Oh, cool. Thank you so much.

-Great start, Natasha.

Now let's get that old timepiece safely secured.

Just strap you in.

While back inside, Paul's still having fun.

What's not to like about this?

So little, somewhat rustic, pine box.

Delightful period and, by period, what do I mean?

Got to be late 19th century. There's 100 years in it.

Table croquet. Well, I love croquet.

I certainly don't have the lawn for it,

but I may have the table for table croquet!

Look at this. Wire hoops, of course.

Turned and stained wooden croquet balls

and a complement of mallets.

How good is that?

HE CHUCKLES

Hours of period fun.

It's all there. You ask me what it's worth.

I think you'd go in at £30 to £50 at auction. I think I would.

It's got to be worth that, surely. A few tens of pounds.

Price tag today is £45.

I'm going to try and buy that

but I'm going to have to try and do something about the price.

-I think he likes this shop.

-I LOVE the little croquet set.

Less enamoured with the price tag.

Do you wish me to state where I'd like it to be,

as we did in the past?

Or I can give you a price, because somebody's asked before. £30.

I'm going to be cheeky.

I'd like it to be 25, if it's possible to buy it at that?

-The last person walked away at 30.

-True, yes.

Can you meet me sort of in the middle, 28?

Of course I can. Absolutely fantastic.

Quite a start, Paul.

£113 for the cot, the binoculars and the table croquet.

-Thank you very much.

-Thank YOU very much.

-All the best.

-Thank you.

And while he heads off for a well-deserved cuppa,

let's find out where Natasha's got to.

Taking our route towards the city of Norwich, the county town of Norfolk,

where, close to the River Wensum, there's

a museum dedicated to Norwich's history of printing and publishing.

-Hi, I'm Tasha.

-I'm Duncan.

-Welcome to the John Jarrold Print Museum.

-Oh, fantastic.

-Shall we head inside?

-Please do.

-Thank you.

Once, printing presses like these were to be found in almost

every British town, and yet this museum is a rare working survivor.

Natasha is here to learn from guild-master Duncan

about how far the printed word has come.

We're currently in the Dark Ages

and we want to get some information.

So who had all the books?

The books were confined to the clergy and the nobility.

All hand-written, laboriously done,

but you'd also have to speak in different languages.

Of course, so a lot of these books would have been in Latin?

Latin, Greek

and French and German.

But the process of taking books away from the scribes to create

a more mass-produced system of information

was certainly underway by the 15th century,

first with the spread of wood-cut block books

and then with the introduction of moveable type.

Gutenberg gets the credit for doing it.

-There's always someone, isn't there?

-Oh, yeah.

He invented the system of mechanically making metal letters.

Gutenberg could cast as many letters as he wanted, which could be

assembled into pages, taken apart,

reassembled as another page and they could print 200 copies of them.

The man from Mainz in Germany was the first to create type pieces

from a durable and uniform metal alloy, and with that

he was able to print the iconic Gutenberg Bible in 1455,

ushering in the era of the printed press across Europe.

So, Gutenberg's style, I suppose, started to spread.

When did this sort of technology arrive on these shores?

It ended up in England with William Caxton.

He had seven years' apprenticeship in Bruges and came back to England

and set up a printing press.

He was part of the middle class.

He could read and write and he was a businessman.

Books were being printed in the Continent and brought into England

so why not print them in England yourself?

Just as important, why not print in our own language?

Although Caxton's translations were not without problems,

he published, in English, many classical works,

as well as the Bible and Chaucer's Canterbury Tales.

So what do I do? How does it all begin?

You'll need to start with what we call a sentence stick.

Right, Natasha's turn. Best steer clear of epics, I think(!)

Oh, good, so it's a double challenge.

I've got to get the spelling right

-and I've got to get it right back to front?

-Yes.

Can you guess what I'm going to spell, Duncan?

I'll bet he's got a fair idea.

# Three little words

# Oh, what I'd give for that wonderful phrase. #

Ah, look at that!

Very nice, spelt correctly,

and Duncan has something else to show before she goes.

That's so cool. So what's that?

It's what we call a Palmer press.

It was for amateurs to print and do their own stationery,

long before your computers came on the scene.

I think it might be for sale.

All this sort of industrial stuff is pretty trendy at auction right now

and if that came in the door, I'd probably say,

"Well, we'll give it a punt at £20 to £40 or so."

So do you think Mr Jarrold would be quite happy if I put a £20 donation

in the museum donation box?

I'm sure he wouldn't mind.

Do you reckon I can get more than 20 at auction?

I don't, but you're the optimist.

Crikey, Duncan!

-Now, let's find out how portable it is.

-See you again, bye!

But while Natasha's been reverting to type,

Paul's made his way southwest of the county town towards Wymondham.

Yes, not pronounced quite as you would expect, is it?

Some nice old cars too. Ooh, and here he is.

-Hello there.

-Hello. My name's Donna.

-Welcome to Wymondham Antiques Centre.

-Thank you very much.

-Welcome to where?

-Wymondham.

-Yeah, rhymes with "kingdom".

I wonder what he'll spot here.

Certainly looking for a change of fortune.

Don't like this losing-money-at-auction game.

It sucks, as the Americans say.

Time to embrace the suck, as they also say. No. Really, they do(!)

Surely there's something in here with my name on it?

That's modern. That's a Vesta.

Sadly, it's £185.

Wee cake slice. Isn't that lovely work?

I think this stands out amongst a large quantity of small silver

in there. Art Nouveau with a distinctly Scandinavian feel.

Don't see those in every bijouterie cabinet.

The aesthetic reminds me straight away of Georg Jensen,

THE name in Scandinavian flatware.

That is consummately well designed and executed, so who's responsible?

Look at the marks and, yes, indeed, they are Scandinavian.

Sadly not silver marks.

Well, it's priced at just £20.

Donna, if that was silver it'd be fabulous, wouldn't it?

But do you know what? I'm still drawn to it.

It's a pretty little thing, isn't it, but I've got to ask the

question, do you think there's anything can be done on that?

-Do you want to make a phone call?

-Yeah.

-Do what you've got to do.

-Let's go. I'll see what I can do.

-Thanks very much.

-No problem.

So why is he thinking about buying silver plate?

It's all about the aesthetic there.

Second quarter 20th century, Scandinavian-designed piece which

I think is more likely to stand out in an auctioneer's cabinet

than some of the traditional little other objets in there.

-Uh-oh, Donna's back.

-The best that she'll go down to is 15.

£15? £15?!

-That's a good drop for Sue.

-I think it's a good drop for anybody.

-Oh, good.

-It's sold.

-Oh, brilliant.

-I'm jesting with you.

-Really good.

I think he's quite pleased with that.

-Donna, that's for you.

-Lovely.

-Thank you very much.

-Thanks, Paul.

-All the best. Wymondham?

-Wymondham, yes.

I couldn't spell it but I can say it.

Now, can I just say something?

Wait for it.

Time for some shut-eye. Nighty-night.

Next day, we're feeling right at home.

Norfolk has treated us well.

Hasn't it just? I'm writing the next official Norfolk guide.

Paul's already navigated his way to a cradle,

table croquet, a cake slice

-and some binoculars or...

-Mark V specials.

Yeah, and he still has almost £250 for today's purchases,

while Natasha merely plumped for a printing press and a clock.

It's a nice thing. I like it. Let's buy it.

Yeah, leaving just over £70 for her very last day of shopping.

-How good a mood are you in?

-Tinged with sadness.

Cheer up, it's not over yet.

Later they'll be heading to the final auction in Diss,

but our first stop today is in the little down of Watton.

Allegedly the scene of the old English ballad of

The Babes In The Wood.

-This is cool, isn't it?

-Oh, it's big enough.

Oh, a bit keen to come in, are you?

I wonder if there are any sleepy beauties here.

-Good morning.

-Good morning.

-Hi, I'm Tasha.

-I'm Barney.

Barney, nice to meet you. Oh, you're accent's lovely. Where you from?

-Belfast.

-Well, in that case, I know I'm going to be looked after today.

What a charmer, eh?

I don't think choice is a problem here.

It's not at all sparse. There's stuff everywhere.

Trouble is, she's hardly flush.

You see these all the time when you go to the antique fairs.

You see the toilets that have lots of lovely patterns on them.

It's very Orient Express or it's very, I don't know,

even Flying Scotsman

to have a ceramic toilet that has lovely decoration on it.

It's just a typical Edwardian turn-of-the-century sort of thing,

but why's it so small? My first thought was novelty planter.

But then it occurred to me - is this sort of a little example,

travelling salesman toilet?

"Salesman's demo toilet from Staffordshire."

It's quite a cool thing,

but at £65 it's almost all the money that I have left.

Comfort break over, what else have they got?

What better way to bring people together than a pub skittles game?

I think even I can figure this one out. It looks pretty simple.

You swish this around and...

almost a strike! How good is that?

-It's just so simple. Get them back up.

-Ticket price, £35.

That is just a good bit of clean fun in the pub.

Less dangerous than darts and more sociable than a mobile phone.

Paul's had a similar thought with his table croquet set.

Now, what came before the hostess trolley?

Absolutely love this. This is the most beautiful bit of Art Nouveau...

Well, maybe not THE most beautiful bit of Art Nouveau,

but a properly practical one.

Described as a chafing dish.

You think of going to a canteen and getting your macaroni cheese

and it's being kept warm by a burner underneath

and that's exactly what's happening here.

You've got two levels, all made of copper,

apart the handles and the legs here, made of brass.

The top level lifts off so you can see that brass frame

and underneath here, the heat comes up from the spirit burners,

goes into these holes, keeping the dishes that you place on top warm.

This is just a smart bit of kit from probably the 1920s or '30s.

Not the height of Art Nouveau,

but certainly displaying some of its key features.

The legs here on the frame - beautifully curved.

You call that whiplash curves

so really organic, like a vine growing down a trestle.

Just the hand-planished top here.

£75 is the ticket price. Now, we know that I only have 71 in total.

Hopefully Barney's up for a cheeky offer,

so I'm going to take it to him.

Hang onto your hats because she's also after those table skittles.

Together they come to £110.

I can't really offer any more than £55.

HE SPLUTTERS

I couldn't raise it a bit, could I?

I could do 60 and that's it.

-Done.

-Are you sure?

-Yeah.

-That's amazing. Thank you so much.

Nice, but it leaves her with barely enough for one more buy.

Goodbye. Adios.

De nada. Well, £11.04.

Paul, meanwhile, is taking a break from the shopping,

travelling not just towards nearby Lynford, but several thousand

years back in time, and the lunar landscape of Grime's Graves

to visit a Neolithic flint mine.

-Hello, Marie.

-Good afternoon, Paul. Welcome to Grime's Graves.

It is a pleasure to be here. What a typography.

On this huge site there are altogether around 1,000 shafts.

OK, Paul, so we're just going to pop one of these on.

HE LAUGHS

OK.

First dug by our Neolithic ancestors over 4,500 years ago,

most are filled in, but Paul's here to visit Pit 1...

(Oh, my word.)

..the only mine of its kind which is open to the public.

What does the name Grime's Graves mean?

It's actually Anglo-Saxon in origin.

"Grime's" come from the Anglo-Saxon god Grim,

also known as Woden or Odin,

and "Graves" just means holes in the ground.

The Saxons of course arrived a long time after the original

Neolithic inhabitants.

They were mining here for around about 200 to 500 years,

about the same time as Stonehenge was being constructed.

We're not talking about the Flintstones here.

-This is modern man.

-Absolutely.

They are as intelligent, really, as us.

They were very sophisticated in their technology.

But what went on here was somehow forgotten by modern times

and it wasn't until the late 19th century that excavations

began to reveal the true purpose of the site.

They were using the jet black flint to make arrowheads,

oblique arrowheads, axe heads, and they were trading them far and wide.

Tools that were made from the flint here have been found

in excavations at Stonehenge and actually as far afield

as Northern Europe.

Shaping flint to create tools and weapons is known as flint-knapping

and so to understand how important it was to the people

who mined it with red deer antlers,

meet modern-day flint-knapper Will Lord.

Without flint, we're in a lot of trouble. It's everything, isn't it?

We are. It's the ability to cut, pierce, chop and hack.

So what we're looking at here is, we're looking at

a typical arrowhead from this particular site.

And alongside that is his little brother.

So these are Neolithic in their design.

That's borderline art.

Flint is described as the fifth hardest substance on the planet.

-Right.

-It's 100 million years old.

-Silica from the bottom of the sea.

-OK.

So we actually take a little tool

and we push them individual flakes off of that,

so you need to push with a bit of power.

-I get that.

-Whereas with that, what we need to do is,

we need to strike it accurately.

I reckoned that there's a potential axe lying in there.

Basically I need to get all the way around it and make a sharp edge.

-Are you feeling safe?

-I'm glad I've got my goggles on!

There you go. That's called "you're not getting an axe"!

Do you think that's sharp enough?

I imagine I could shave with that if I was desperate enough.

-Let's have your arm.

-Something's coming off.

Looks like... Yes. That's shaving.

You're not wrong.

So flint will do the job that you want it to do.

I'm sticking with the steel, by the way!

Good idea.

So I figure that you can have a go.

OK. Just nibble away at that sharp edge there, eh?

-That's good. Take a bit more of this back corner.

-OK.

So you've just created a shock wave on that stone.

That's going to last for ever.

So somebody, perhaps in 5,000 years' time, will come and pick it up.

Back in 2016...

Hands up who can remember what Natasha had left in her pocket?

Well, undaunted, she's headed for Foulsham with, yes, £11.04.

-Hello. Good afternoon. I'm Natasha.

-I'm Catherine. Welcome.

-Nice to meet you.

-This is the coolest place I think I've ever been, hands down.

-Good.

There's certainly a lot of interesting stuff at Country Home.

Now, I bet you can't think what that would be for.

-It's for keeping ferrets.

-Actual... A live ferret?

Live ferrets. Hence the holes.

Hasn't everyone got one?

-Why would you need to carry your ferret around with you?

-Hunting.

You can take the girl out of the city...

I'm thinking, why are you popping to the shops with your ferret?!

-What have you got on that?

-£85.

-OK. So that's not in the budget.

With or without the ferret.

Could be the very point you need to fess up, Natasha.

I'm not even lying when I say there are pennies because I have £11.04.

Right. Mustn't forget the 4p.

I'm willing to give you every single penny.

But while Catherine ponders that generous offer,

let's catch up with Paul, now nearing the end of the road.

I'm so looking forward to doing this road trip with Natasha.

Is it the Scots thing? I don't know.

But we've had our shares of ups and downs but never stopped laughing.

A tear in his eye all the way to King's Lynn.

The Hanseatic port of the Wash, from which one 17th-century local

who settled in Virginia exported the name of Norfolk.

Later came the explorer George Vancouver,

another Lynn lad who travelled even further,

while our journey's headed very much the other way.

Right, then. I've got my wallet.

I'm motivated to buy my last purchase of this road trip.

Here we go.

And he has got over £240 left, lest we forget.

Late-19th-century Anglo-Indian brass work.

There you go. Look at that.

There is a tiger hunt and one hunts tigers in India

from the howdah of an elephant.

Not for me to judge, but it's pretty bloodthirsty, actually.

I could warm to that.

And he can certainly afford £36.

But what about the other less-well-off one

in a Foulsham barn?

How about this little trug, ideal for eggs?

It's quite cute, isn't it? It's a possibility, isn't it?

I mean, it's lovely property here. Is that the sort of thing...

-Do you keep chickens?

-We do. And ducks, yes.

-Come on.

So do you use one of these to collect the eggs?

Not usually, no!

Catherine's being very helpful.

How about something like this?

-This printing block with a pretty pattern on.

-I love these.

So are these wee leaves, little leaves? Is there another one there?

-That's quite cute.

-Flowers.

They are sweet, aren't they?

Actually, I've just learned all about printing, typesetting

and lots of things but we didn't do any woodcuts or wood blocks.

Those are £22 each.

-Probably in your budget.

-For two of them?

-For one of them.

-For one of them.

Quite. Don't push your luck, girl.

So your preferred one is the leaf?

I really do like the leaf. I think that's very attractive.

-£11.04 for a leafy printer's block?

-Go on, then.

Shall we do it? OK. Here we are.

I mean, it's not the most exciting thing that's ever happened to you,

-but I have £10, 11 and four.

-Perfect.

-That's that.

Thank you very much. Wish me luck. It's been a pleasure.

But while Natasha takes her leaves... Ha!

..Paul's just hitting his stride.

What's in this old cabinet of joy?

There's something you don't see every day.

That is a mate straw.

Mate is South American in origin.

It's a hot beverage.

Made from the leaves of the yerba plant,

mate supplies a mildly drugged kick.

It has like a sediment in it.

You know, like coffee grounds.

And I believe how you drink it, traditionally from a gourd,

is through a straw that has a filter at the end.

Tasty. Time for a closer look.

-Hello there, how are you?

-I'm fine thank you. I'm Niall.

Good to see you. May I take up some of your time?

-I'm interested in that glazed cabinet just in that room.

-No problem.

Ticket price - £45.

-You've got a bit of gilding around the edges.

-Gilt collars, yes.

So there you go. It is what you expect it to be. A straw.

Mouthpiece at this end and that's the filter we were talking about.

So into the mate cup, or vessel, there you go.

What do we have here? White metal.

We're not using an auctioneer's terminology, are we,

that white metal is un-assayed silver.

We're saying it's metal and it's not gold.

No, there is a mark on there.

-What does the mark say?

-It's plata.

P-L-A-TA, which in Spanish I think is silver,

but in another language probably means plate.

Good point, Niall.

-There's £45 on that. Is there slack in that price?

-30.

That's a generous offer, Niall.

So you have now sold one mate straw.

-Thanks very much.

-That was easy.

That possibly silver straw is our very, very, very last buy.

-That's for you.

-Brilliant.

-A pleasure.

-Thanks very much.

All the best to you. See you again. Bye.

So let's have a taste of what's been picked up.

With Natasha paying all of her £141.04 for a chafing dish,

a parlour press, table skittles, a clock and a printing block,

while Paul spent £158 on a cradle, some binoculars,

a cake slice, a straw and a table croquet set.

So who's cock-a-hoop?

The copper food-warmer, I've got to say... Mmm.

Why did I walk past this rocking cradle? He got it for £50.

Why on earth I rejected it? I have no idea.

My modest little silver-plated cake slice.

We've identified the smith.

Axel Pip Skifflebrick.

It's a good Scandinavian name. It's delicious.

It's the battle of the table games.

He's bought the table croquet set and I've bought the table skittles.

I preferred the table croquet set.

After setting off from North Walsham,

our experts are now on their way to their final auction at Diss.

Gets its name from the Anglo-Saxon for embankment or dyke.

-Let's move on from that to poetry.

-OK. Tell me more.

Yes, it will be bliss

When I go with you by train to Diss.

-John Betjeman.

-That's lovely.

-Isn't that awesome?

But did Sir John ever come here? No internet bidding then, of course.

Come on, then. Last-chance saloon and all that. Shall we?

I wonder what auctioneer Ed Smith

makes of what our couple have come up with.

The letterpress, it is unusual. It's a bygone item.

We sell lots of bygone things here

so, realistically, it has got a good chance of selling.

The cake slice, I think it's a lovely item.

It's very in at the moment. People love baking.

The clock I think is one of the nicest pieces which has been entered.

So fingers crossed, I think it's going to be a good one.

They are. Firmly crossed.

-It's started.

-It's a lovely saleroom, I must admit.

And it's busy.

Starting off with Natasha's hot... well, warm, Art Nouveau item.

It's really good for curry.

I like to have my saag aloo from a dish.

Start me here. £50 for it. 50.

-Surely.

-Fantastic piece. £50. 40.

-30 start.

-Oh, come on. This is sad.

-He's got it.

-£30. 20 bid, then.

20 I have. 20. Two, five, eight, 30, two.

32 it is in the room.

No way. It's so beautiful.

It seems cheap at 32.

-That's not on.

-I thought you'd genuinely just frozen there.

Not a huge loss, but she was awfully fond of it.

I am so upset.

Aw...

I don't care.

LAUGHTER

Now for one of Paul's favourites, also Art Nouveau.

Pure profit, because Art Nouveau is doing really well today.

You're jinxing this really well.

What do we say? £20 for this? 20?

15.

Out. £10... We're in the danger zone.

10 it is. 10 it is.

Is there 12? It is at 10.

12, 15. 18...

-Please...

-Profit.

Going to sell to the lady for £18.

-Bargains being had here today.

-HE SIGHS

Nicely put, Paul.

Don't be sad. What was it you said to me before?

"I don't care at all"?

Surely her little piece of printing history can IMPRESS?

-Were you bin-rattling again at the back of the museum?

-Kind of.

I've told you, it's not classy, it's not dignified...

You can take the girl out of Glasgow...

I'll start straight in at the...

-£20.

-Oh!

Well done, there.

£20. Now, where's 22? 22, 5, 8, 30.

-30 it is.

-That's 50%.

£30, now, it is. £30.

£30.

It's a Norfolk record, I'll take it. I'll take it.

Hurrah! Not exactly a licence to print money, though.

Phew...chuffed.

Time for Paul's bargain rocker.

If you don't put a baby in it, what do you do with it?

-Exactly.

-Spare towels?

This is why 50 quid might not be so cheap.

What do you say? Start me here, £100 for it, £100.

-80.

-Come on! Somebody needs to stick their hand in the air.

Start me - who wants...

We're in the danger zone now, we're in the danger zone.

30, and start, then. It is here to go.

30, 30, I have...

If I lose money on this, I may have to just leave.

It's going to go...

-It is going to go for 30 quid.

-Are we done?

Don't go, Paul. Still early days.

£30.

It's right there - beautifully turned wood, oh...

-Don't look at it, don't look at it.

-I'm sorry.

Can Natasha's skittles bowl them over?

Attention!

-I love this.

-It is cool.

This is the kind of thing I take home and say,

"Kids, I'm going to change your life,"

and then I put it in the next auction, or give it to charity.

And I have three lots of interest.

He's got commission bids!

I'm straight in at £15.

Need more.

20's online. Are you 2, sir? 22. Is there 5?

-It's 22.

-Internet's in on it.

Look, there's Michael from North Walsham.

-It's worth one more. 32 it is.

-Come on!

It's 32. Back in the room.

Is there 5? 35 online. 38. 38 it is. Is there 40?

It's in the room at £38 now. Is there 40?

It's in the room...

-I'm quite impressed by that.

-Totally.

-40 online.

He's going to do it, he's going to go. Come on.

Is there 5? We are going to go at £42.

Are we all done?

-Yay!

-That is the one... That is the one!

Yeah - Diss likes old-fashioned games.

-I tell you what, it bodes well for table croquet.

-Games.

-Mm-hm.

There it is - table not included.

Another one I walked straight past.

Aw, no!

And we know what happened to the last thing you walked straight past.

I start with bids on. I start straight in. £20 I have.

-That'll do, that'll do. I'm happy at that.

-30...

2 - I'm out.

-Profit.

-That'll do.

38. 40. 2.

42 is standing. 42 it is. Is there 45?

It is £42 now. Is there 5?

Selling away at £42.

-Get in!

-Happy days!

We should have been buying tabletop games the whole trip.

Pure PEG-stasy.

Do you think there is some possibility of us

salvaging shreds of credibility out of this road trip

in the final auction?

Yeah.

-It's happening, babe.

-It's happening.

It's happening, girlfriend.

Time for Natasha's American clock - the auctioneer's favourite.

Look at that - a lovely piece, that is.

That is a big-up, that is a big-up.

-50.

-Oh, come on.

£30 bid, then.

A good-quality clock here for £30. £30, 30 at the back. 32.

35. 38. 40.

Oh, it's got to be worth one more, come on.

45. 48.

-50.

-I think I'm in profit - oh!

It's got the style. 60. 60 at the back.

-Oh, come on.

-It's not bad, though.

It's OK. It's OK.

At £60...

-Oh...

-It's all right.

-It's OK.

Yes, in the circumstances.

Another healthy profit.

Mark Vs, anyone? Paul's binoculars...

-I started...

-He's got bids on.

£30. 30, I have.

-It's a start, it's a start.

-He's says bids - plural.

32, 5, 8, 40, 2, 5, 8.

50. One more? 5, in the gallery. 55.

-I'll take it. Back in the game.

-Nice work.

Binoculars go at £55.

-Nice!

-I'll take it. Get in.

-Yay!

They didn't quite see double, but not bad.

You're getting back, getting back.

It's cool, it's cool. Nation still respects you.

Time for that little printing block Natasha picked up for half price.

£15.

-Oh, oh, oh!

-Yes!

Who's 18? It's with Lisa, there, at £15. Where's 18?

Come on, internet.

18. 20. 2...

-Oh, it's 22.

-22 it is.

It's the lady seated in the room at £22.

Tell you what, that lady's got a whole weekend

of leaf-printing ahead of her.

Ha! I think Natasha could win this auction.

-It ends with the mate spoon.

-This is not the last lot?

Of the road trip.

Seriously? And it all boils down to a small hot-beverage straw?

Yes. It's South American light refreshment time.

I'm starting at £15. 15 I have. Who's 18?

-What's happening?

-£15. 18, 20. 20 I have. Who's 2?

Paid £30 for it.

£20 now. Is there 2?

-22. 22 now bid.

-It's silver!

Is there 5? It's in the room at £22. Are we all done?

-And that's how it ends.

-Here endeth...the road trip.

And that really is the last straw.

The mate's on you, Paul.

Ho-ho-ho!

Natasha started out with £141.04.

After costs, she made a profit of £11.48.

So, she wins today and ends up with £152.53,

while Paul began with £370.04, and after costs,

he made a loss of £21.06.

So, runner-up today, but victor overall, with £348.98.

All profits go to Children In Need.

OK, one more time.

It's been such good fun, hasn't it?

Next time you're in Norfolk, pop in and see me,

because I might not be going home.

Haste ye back.

Really?

HE LAUGHS

-You going to cheat, Natasha?

-Oh!

HE LAUGHS EVILLY

Ho...!

How good is that?

Oh, no.

It's been one hell of a week.

It's good, this, isn't it?

That'll do.

Rrr...rrr...rrr...

Over there! Look at it!

It's glorious. It's glorious.

Next time on the Antiques Road Trip...

-Good luck.

-Thank you.

James Braxton and Raj Bisram in a classic double bill,

featuring Big Trouble In Little China

and The Wicker Man.

Anatomically, it's beyond reproach, isn't it?