Episode 10 Antiques Road Trip

It's the nation's favourite antiques experts,

with £200 each, a classic car...

We're going roond!

..and a goal - to scour Britain for antiques...

I want to spend lots of money!

..the aim - to make the biggest profit at auction,

but it's no mean feat.

Oh, it's you!

There'll be worthy winners...

-Yes!

-We've done it!

..and valiant losers.

You are kidding me on!

So, will it be the high road to glory or the slow road to disaster?

-What am I doing?

-Got a deal.

This is the Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah!

Welcome back to Wales

and the final instalment of Laidlaw versus Cooper,

that's auctioneer Paul

and dealer Marvellous Margie.

Well, I'm not talking to you. THEY LAUGH

You might no' be talking but you're breathing down my neck!

I'm not talking to you cos I don't want you to read my mind.

Oh, come on, you two! Don't go keeping mum.

All this way as friendly rivals and now it's suddenly nip and tuck.

-Here she comes, here she comes!

-I'm coming. I'm a-coming!

-Right, I'll tell you what.

-Yep?

I preferred it when I was miles ahead of you!

Perhaps it's the damp weather that has brought about a cooling

in the Alfa Romeo Spider.

Or it might well be Paul's calamitous purchase of

a grandmother clock!

-Any advance, £20? No? £20 only.

-No!

That certainly swung the pendulum in Margie's direction.

-What?!

-I think you lost money there.

Margie set out with £200, and her roller-coaster ride has

so far brought her £317.36.

While Paul, who also began with £200, has about £60 more,

with £376.78 and a suspicious mind.

Are you dressed to kill by any chance?

Is this another strategy?

"Mr and Mrs Antique Dealer, is there any way those brooches could be...?"

THEY LAUGH

You've got it in one!

Ooh, I love it when they talk tactical.

Our trip begins close to England's most westerly point at St Buryan,

and heads both north and east.

We then take a round-about trip through Wales

before arriving at Newent in Gloucestershire.

Today we're starting out in Monmouthshire at Chepstow,

and ending up at our deciding auction in Newent.

On the border between England and Wales, Chepstow is noted

both for its racecourse and its fortress on the River Wye.

A ruin since the Civil War, the castle was built by the Normans

as a base for their conquest of South Wales.

It's reckoned by some to be the oldest surviving castle in Britain.

-Hello, good morning.

-Good to see you, I'm Paul.

-Good morning, welcome to Chepstow.

-And you are?

-Dawn.

Dawn, it is great to be here.

Dawn patrol, eh? And he's off, leading by a short head

with the winning post in sight.

Stand out at auction and likely to generate a profit.

Yep, that's the mantra, Paul.

Maybe I should be playing a tactical game here.

If I buy five things and make a little profit on each of them...

..I could win this.

It's certainly been done.

Parking the bus, I think they call it.

Just a nice little Japanese lacquered box.

It's lacquered and then gilded, but the gilding's raised.

This is a technique called "takamakie".

It's not a throwaway piece.

This isn't junk.

It's priced like junk.

So, he is boxing clever. There's another!

That's a model of Buckingham Palace, is it not?

Tin plate, embossed, transfer printed.

See the window recesses there?

And then here, look inside, very pleasingly done.

But read this.

It's a model of the Queen's doll's house.

Chubb & Son's Lock & Safe Company supply a miniature Chubb safe

to protect the Queen's dolls' jewels.

That's great, isn't it?!

What a lovely little object. Not come across one before.

No money, look at that, £12. Easy peasy.

Nice, but is that the best you can come up with?

Time for a word with Dawn.

I'm struggling, I don't mind telling you. What have I missed?

We do a lot of antique jewellery here.

It's something I specialise in, the antique jewellery.

-So is that yours, the material over there?

-Yes.

-In that cab...

The very rich cabinet to the right.

Sounds like he might be about to stray into Margie territory.

-It's a little mourning piece that, erm...

-Turquoise and pearl?

Turquoise and pearl but it's in lovely condition, nine carat gold.

The Victorians popularised these lockets,

often containing a lock of the deceased's hair.

Minute you get hair inclusions half your audience are icky.

-Americans love it. The Americans do love mourning jewellery.

-Yeah?

-Mm.

And that can be 45.

-You're a temptress, Dawn.

-I know. Well, I want you to win, don't I?

-You're a...!

-THEY LAUGH

Hey! Dawn also has a gold chain for Paul to peruse.

-I love guard chains, yeah.

-Yes, it's quite nice. I do too.

A guard chain is a very long neck chain,

and it would be worn by ladies, certainly in the latter half

of the 19th century with perhaps a swivel to carry their fob watch.

This one, er, of pretty dull belcher links

is elevated immensely by these, er, little jewels.

And that transforms it from just a long neck chain to something

altogether superior.

I wonder what it'll cost, though.

I think a fair price on that for you to sell on, maybe 160.

Crikey!

-You've utterly seduced me, Dawn.

-Oh!

I'm sure she has, Paul!

A deal can't be far away now.

I spotted this earlier on and fell in love with it.

And you also showed me the pearl and turquoise mourning locket.

Mourning locket, yes.

What's the price on the three?

Yes, I can see... I can feel it working for you now!

I know you've got a price in mind, I can almost see that!

200 the lot, bargain.

Pleasure, Dawn.

Lightning quick.

That is the thick end of two thirds of my budget

you've just extracted from me. That's not easily done.

I've had a lot of practice.

Thanks to Dawn, the floodgates have opened.

It's amazing what a bit of gold can do.

Now, time to get back on the road,

motoring from Chepstow over to Newport.

In the city centre,

there are several fine statues including those which

commemorate the Chartist uprising of 1839 as well as one of

the Newport poet WH Davies.

He penned the lines,

"What is this life if full of care?

"We have no time to stand and stare."

-Right, I wish you well.

-Good luck. We're both lying to one another!

I'm not supposed to be talking to you!

-Get in there and buy a clock!

-Bye!

-John. Hi, John, I'm Margie.

-Hi, nice to meet you.

-Right, so I'm just going to have a quick look round if I may.

-Yep.

Now, I wonder how Margie's going to play this one.

She's so close to Paul that one good buy could easily put her ahead!

Certainly won't be buying one of those, will I?

Just as one mistake might mean the end!

-I've bought tools before, John, and fell flat on my...

-Your bum.

That's enough. No sale.

She's clearly learned from her error.

Oh, I don't know what to do.

This could take some time.

Margie's other notable blunder on this trip was

a pair of wooden elephants.

But this time she's got something very different in mind - crocodiles!

-What is it, Mr and Mrs, is it?

-Brother and sister.

MARGIE LAUGHS

-So they're what? £25.

-It's a bargain.

D'you think so? MARGIE LAUGHS

And if the old crocs don't do the trick,

there are always John's lions.

-Oh-h!

-These are apparently done by, erm, Polish prisoners of war.

Prisoner or war work? So there's a prisoner camp nearby?

-Yeah, about 20 miles down the road.

-Yeah. Right.

What sort of money are these, then? £24 for the pair?

So you're not highly rating these, are you?

Not a great deal, I think you're in with a chance, though.

Time to introduce the pride to the rest of her fledgling ark

and get down to brass tacks.

-They're a gamble, aren't they?

-Yeah.

-Life's a gamble, though, innit?

-Oh, yes.

-You know what? £18 a pair, there you go.

-£18 for the pair.

Then we've got these two fierce little chaps.

-So how much are those, then, John?

-18 quid the pair.

-18, it's like this is your price today, innit?

-Seems to be.

Despite John's generous discounts, Margie's dithering continues.

Time for one more trip around the shop.

I've always wondered what I'd look like...

blonde.

Nah, I wouldn't look right blonde.

I wouldn't like to be blonde, I'd rather be natural.

But with the animals still on hold,

there's still a bit of carving to be considered.

Ignore the price on that.

Sounds promising.

Aren't they clever, these things?

You see these quite a lot without the lids on

and they're made out of bamboo and they're sort of called brush pots,

whereby they stand their brushes in them.

-There's a bit of paper inside.

-Is there?

-Which...

-That says?

-..strangely says more like, erm...

-..circa 1840.

-Really? Who said that?

No idea. It came with the box.

Has that been another dealer had that?

-Might have been.

-These antique dealers,

they get very optimistic, don't they?

MARGIE LAUGHS

Bamboo is one of the fastest growing plants on Earth.

When conditions are right, it can grow almost in front of your eyes.

Now, can Margie just move along a bit quicker?

So 45,

but it's going to have to be a real cheap deal, that.

How about 25?

-20 quid, then.

-20 quid. Oh, yeah, got to go for it.

-OK.

-Yes.

-Hope it does well for you.

-Yeah, so do I, John, so do I!

Well done, Margie! Finally off the...

A-a-agh!

Oh! Whoops.

Oh, dear.

Oh, no, John, what have I done?

I've dropped it.

SHE SIGHS ANGRILY

And now it's split there.

Oh, no.

I've already bought it, haven't I? That's it.

I'll tell you what, if you still want it, it's yours for a tenner.

-Oh, now I feel awful!

-Well, it'll save your bacon.

Oh, gosh!

-Are you sure?

-Mm.

What a nice man, eh?

Oh, you're very kind. Thank you very much indeed.

I think you got off there very lightly, Margie.

No clangers dropped, just a bamboo pot!

There's surely a profit now despite the crack.

Meanwhile...

..up the Taff Valley...

..Paul's steamed on towards Merthyr Tydfil, the location

in 1804 of the world's first railway steam locomotive journey.

Hard to believe that this cradle of the Industrial Revolution,

a very long way from Ogden, Utah,

is also the town that the Osmond family traced their Welsh roots to.

-I'm Paul. You are?

-Kelly.

Kelly, it's lovely to see you.

Gee whizz! I can't imagine Paul will struggle to buy

at this establishment. Look at this lot.

God, I love that. A telly, isn't it?

Despite ominous reminders of a previous gaffe...

Steady on!

You know what? I could murder a slice of toast.

Ta-da!

Here's one I prepared earlier. Nice slice of bread.

Hey, are we watching a cookery programme all of a sudden?

-HE SNIFFS

-Oh, that smells lovely, doesn't it?

Did you see it?!

It's like Nigella in tweed(!)

Once more, look at this! I could do this all day.

Give me some time.

Simple pleasures, eh?

I'm in my element. Pun intended.

But there are a few more practical items to be found up here as well.

This is the one I'm interested in.

Bow fronted, pierced,

Georgian, early 19th century,

steel fender.

And it sits in front of the hearth

and it protects to a degree against sparks and so on.

The bolts are handmade, they're offset, and this is what

marks this out as full period as opposed to reproduction.

Be interested to see the price on that.

That's actually a door porter. Door porter is a door stop, yeah?

An interior door stop.

And typically they are somewhat tall

and have a handle so they can be moved about.

This is a Victorian cast iron affair.

And it depicts this knight here underneath this Gothic canopy, see?

And that's a good thing.

Two good pieces of 19th century domestic metalwork.

I rate those. These are good.

Time to consult Kelly.

Dear? Cheap?

Somewhere in between?

Or cheap? Did I say cheap?

THEY LAUGH

-If we say 55 for the two, is that too much?

-Aw-w, it is.

-Old iron, any old iron.

-Yeah.

-Erm, could offer you 20 quid for the two.

-Aw-w!

-Hey!

-I think they cost me more than that to buy

so probably about 35 would be the best for the two.

Don't get me wrong, I do like them.

Yeah, I think he does.

We just need something else.

Fireside reading maybe?

Practical Masonry back in the day.

Gilt tooled spine.

And it's quite solid. Oh, look at that!

Gilt tooled calf bookplate.

Thomas Conwell owned this book in 1840, that's a joy.

But look at these diagrams. They are joyous, are they not?

There you go!

Thomas Telford's suspension bridge over the Menai Strait!

Isn't that good fun? I love it.

-What's the price on that?

-25.

Was exactly the right thing to say, Kelly.

Oh, I only wanted to buy one thing in your shop,

but I don't mind telling you, you've got me hooked, because

I like the two pieces of metalwork and I like the book as well.

Can we do a wee bit of a deal on the lot? That was 35.

That was 25. Can we knock a fiver off each of them? 30 and 20?

-Yeah, go on.

-Kelly, wonderful! I shall give you £50.

-Thanks very much.

-Thank you.

-I'm going with my booty. See you later.

-Bye.

While Paul's been getting to grips with Practical Masonry,

Margie's let her hair down in the mountains.

I must say, this car's really grown on me,

so I'm prepared to accept that I'm going to get my hair blown around.

Margie's making her reckless way to Craig-y-Nos Castle

in the Brecon Beacons National Park,

once the home of the world's greatest opera singer.

-Hi, Len!

-Hello, Margie.

What a fantastic place.

-Yes, it is, isn't it?

-And a lovely situation.

Craig-y-Nos was first built in the early 1840s by a local

magistrate, and then just over 30 years later, it was snapped up

and extensively remodelled by Adelina Patti,

the Italian prima donna, then at the height of her fame.

She would visit this part of the world.

She met up with Lord Swansea

and she said that she was looking for a new home...

-Mmm.

-..and he said, "Well, Craig-y-Nos is for sale."

She came up and saw it and bought it.

The Gothic part on the right finishes here

-directly in front of us.

-Yeah.

And then the red sandstone,

which continues all the way round to the clock tower and beyond...

-Right.

-That was built in the 1880s by Patti.

By now she was commanding £100,000 for a tour.

Good gracious!

That is mega!

All of the extension...

-Yeah.

-..cost £100,000.

So she financed it on a tour.

Impressive, isn't it?

But while today's rock stars might content themselves with

building a pool or a recording studio,

Patti's new pad simply had to have an opera house.

This miniature version of the Milanese La Scala seats 150

and features a mechanical floor

which can be raised to create a ballroom.

Look at that.

Oh, isn't that amazing?

That's Patti herself in the backdrop riding a chariot in a Rossini opera.

She came here in 1878 and obviously fell in love with the place...

-Yeah.

-..because she stayed here for the rest of her life.

But she travelled all over the world from here?

All over the world, yes, from here.

The train would take her anywhere,

and she would contact the railway company

and they would send an engine up.

And a very old signalman once told me

that all of the lights were on green until she landed in her destination.

-So she was like royalty?

-She was. Absolutely.

-She was a family friend of the Tsar.

-Yeah.

-Personal friend of the Kaiser.

-Mm.

Napoleon III was at her wedding.

Oh, gosh! MARGIE LAUGHS

-And she sang to Queen Victoria for 25 years.

-Yes.

Born in Madrid to opera-singing parents, Patti sang professionally

from childhood and remained at the very top for years.

She even achieved what Henry VIII famously failed to by having

her marriage annulled by the Pope.

-Girl power, yeah?

-Girl power, yes,

although she belonged to the time before feminism.

-Yes, the Suffrage Movement.

-I'm not quite sure when that began,

but it certainly wasn't in the 19th century.

-But she overcame...

-She did!

-..all of the disadvantages...

-Yeah.

..of being a woman in those days.

Unfortunately, Patti's prime came before the invention of

sound recording, and at the end of the 19th century,

when it became possible to make phonograph cylinders,

the soprano was reluctant.

But surely that would be very exciting for her.

Why didn't she want to?

-Well, because of the quality of the recordings in those days.

-Yeah.

But then, at the end of the 1890s, the gramophone was perfected

-and she was asked again and she said she would.

-Right.

But only here at Craig-y-Nos, in her boudoir.

CRACKLY RECORDING: "Home Sweet Home"

The technique was that you had to withdraw on the high notes

-from the horn.

-Right.

And then go into the low notes into the horn.

If you did it the other way around, it was unintelligible.

She had to be grasped around the waist and pulled in and out

according to the technical needs of the time.

But she got through the first one,

and she said, "Before I continue, I want to hear this."

-And she listened, and then she said, in French, so I understand...

-Yeah.

"Now I know why I'm loved so much."

Recording resumed, and those precious tracks which sold so well

that they are credited with transforming the industry

and are now all we have to remind us of the voice of the queen of song.

But as well as a glorious soprano,

Margie still has a certain "tenner" on her mind.

I only bought one item,

-and guess what I did - I dropped it after we'd done the deal?

-What?

-I dropped it!

-What?!

Nothing like a bit of sympathy, is there? Night-night, you two.

COWS MOO

As the deciding day dawns, our two look back on a tumultuous week.

Ups and downs, ups and downs.

Have you ever played Buckaroo?

THEY LAUGH

Yesterday, Margie managed just one tiny purchase...

Oh, no!

..which she then broke.

But the shopkeeper kindly reduced it to just £10,

leaving her with over £300 to spend today.

Paul, meanwhile, just about bought the shop, picking up a book,

a moneybox, some old iron, a locket

and gold guard chain for £250...

You have utterly seduced me, Dawn.

..leaving him with just over £125 in his wallet.

-What's platinum scrapping at at the moment?

-Very funny!

Let the mind games commence!

Later, they'll be making for their showdown auction at Newent,

but our next stop is Narberth.

Down in Pembrokeshire in south-west Wales,

Narberth was where the leaders of the Rebecca Riots were imprisoned.

Nowadays this splendid little town

boasts carnival parades in both summer and winter,

plus several independent shops.

There's quite a few antique outlets in Narberth as well,

although our two are about to share

and that rarely bodes well.

-Good morning!

-Good morning!

-Hello.

-Welcome to the Malthouse in Narberth.

-Thank you.

-I'm Paul.

I'm Peter, this is Jimmy.

-So, is everyone introduced now?

-Jimmy, Peter.

Margie, without wishing to be unfriendly, is frantic to get away

and start scouring for the several purchases she needs to make.

Sharpish.

HOLLOW WOODEN KNOCKING

That's my knees knocking!

Ha-ha! Settle down, Margie.

Less cowbell, more Meakin.

That was my first dinner set when I first got married.

God, doesn't it look dated now?

Maybe not.

While Paul's in an altogether different frame of mind.

I'm looking for that thing that if I don't buy it, Margie might.

HE LAUGHS

At that price, I've got to buy it, I've got to buy it!

I've got to stop her buying it.

That's terrible, isn't it?

Shame on you, Paul. Margie's got enough to worry about.

207 for a glass ventilator?

Here comes trouble.

Margie, Margie, Margie!

That's not a good look. You're sweating, you're sweating!

You're not wrong. You're not wrong!

Why not cool off in another part of the shop, then?

Quite nice. White mirrors,

probably early 20th century, that.

But we've got a heart-shaped ticket that says 165 quid.

Is the heart shape to soften the blow?

I can't see that coming down to my level.

Time to reflect.

No need to worry about Paul, either, Margie.

Languor with just a hint of smug, I'd say.

I wonder what Pete makes of the mirror, especially the price bit.

I just quite liked it.

But I don't think it's very old.

-Has it got a price on it?

-Yeah, it has, it's got 165 smackers on it.

-Oh!

What were you thinking, we'd be looking at, 90?

What price have you got in mind?

Yes, do tell, Margie.

I suppose I would want to be buying that for about 70 quid.

Pete's gone a bit pale.

I think 75 would be a fair price.

I've gone from laughing to drumming.

Could you go from drumming to yessing?

Are we still negotiating here?

We are. I think we might be.

You're in it for the long haul with Margie.

-It's not very old, is it?

-No.

-It's decorative, that's one thing.

-I'm old. Does that help?

-So am I.

We've all just aged considerably, Pete.

If I go away with it at 65,

if I make a tenner, I'll be happy.

I won't dither any more.

-OK. It's a deal.

-That's it, we've done it.

A rapid response! Well, that's a relief(!)

I just hope the rest of her shopping won't be quite so protracted.

But whilst Margie's been struggling,

Paul's taking a leisurely drive towards the Pembrokeshire coast.

Travelling from Narberth to Fishguard.

This historic port on the coastline,

once regularly raided by the Vikings,

was the site of the last invasion of Britain.

In 1797, a French force of 1,200 men landed near Fishguard

and after being foiled by a combination of British troops

and stout locals, they soon surrendered.

Paul's here to see a 1997 tapestry which tells this fascinating story.

-Hello. Would you be Mary?

-Yes. Welcome, Paul.

-How are you doing?

It's good to see you. And this is it. It's exquisite, isn't it?

From the artistry to the execution,

it's a joy.

And we're very proud of it here as well.

The work, cheekily inspired by the Bayeux version of that other,

more successful, 1066 invasion,

is over 30 metres long

and took four years to complete.

Some people locally, they say this isn't the Bayeux Tapestry,

this is the Down Bay-eux Tapestry.

The French hadn't really intended to invade Fishguard.

The force that came here had been headed for Bristol,

just as other divisions made for Newcastle and Ireland.

They thought that the British were ready for invasion, you know,

that the peasants, the workers from the North, they were ready to be...

-Ready for revolution?

-Yes.

But bad weather meant that only one of the three armies landed,

and that legion straightaway encountered fierce resistance.

The local people are also getting involved.

-These are the ones with the pitchforks!

-Yes.

-This is no skirmish.

-No.

-This is serious.

-Yes.

The Pembroke yeomanry were soon on the march from nearby Haverfordwest,

coming to the aid of the Fishguard soldiers.

But the real work, it seems, was done by everyday heroes.

This is Jemima Nicholas, who was known locally as Jemima Fawr,

which in English means "Big Jemima".

And she, legend has it,

walked around a local hillock called a bigney with a group of local women

dressed in traditional Welsh costume,

which, of course, is the red shawl and the black hat,

to trick the French into thinking

that there were more soldiers than there were.

She's now rounded them up and she's taking them to St Mary's Church,

which is across the road.

-Right, so she got in the thick of it as well.

-She certainly did.

I wouldn't like to meet Big Jemima

-with her pitchfork on a dark night, I'll tell you.

-No.

The invaders didn't stand a chance

and unconditional surrender soon followed on Goodwick Sands

with the formalities concluded down in the pub.

What becomes of them? Do they ever see France again?

-I know a lot escaped...

-Really?

..on the route to Haverford West and funnily enough, there is

-quite a few names, Martineau and Devereux...

-In these parts?

-In these parts.

-That's a great thought.

As well as the incredible tapestry,

they also have genuine artefacts from the 1797 invasion,

-chilling proof that this ripping yarn was very real.

-May I?

-Certainly.

-Astonishing.

-But don't point it at me.

Well, do you know, appreciate these for what they are but,

to hold one that we know was carried in anger in these parts,

what a thought. Now it becomes real, doesn't it? We're touching history.

Yes, definitely.

There was one other lasting consequence of the

-Battle of Fishguard, however.

-A bank note?

-A bank note.

-Go on.

I see a date there. This is our date.

As you can imagine, people in Britain were very afraid

and started to hoard their gold and there was a run on the Royal Mint,

so they decided to issue the first paper pound.

There were no wallets or purses today,

we're holding things that come about, in a sense, because of this.

-Yes.

-How fantastic.

Now, hopefully, Marge is about to splash out,

just a wee bit more than £1,

as our trip moves a few miles up the coast to another Newport.

There's little danger of confusing this destination with the city

we shopped in earlier.

Little Newport's Welsh name means "town on the beach" and our

somewhat desperate Margie's on her way to its only antique shop.

-Good luck, everyone.

-Hello, I'm Margie.

-Heather.

-Hello, Heather.

-Anne.

-Hello, Anne.

Anne's got a very nice shop here, but what's already dawning on Margie

is that most of what's for sale is a bit of a foreign land to her.

-No silver, no jewellery?

-We don't do silver and jewellery.

-We do do a lot of other things, though.

-Right.

-Like tools, Margie.

Railway armour too. Lots of that, just up your street.

It's a tricky one, isn't it? Do you understand all this stuff?

Yes, I've been specialising in railway things

-for quite a few years now.

-Tell me. That's a whistle.

-That's from a shunting engine.

-Yeah.

This one dates from 1950 and it's a British Rail one.

And that's £40? Are you sure this has nothing to do

with Thomas the Tank Engine?

It should be, shouldn't it?

Not her field.

Ah, Skimbleshanks, he's got to be lucky, that fella.

You've got a nice little marking, haven't you, hey?

Doubtful provenance, though. How about a whip holder instead?

For when you're driving your carriage.

You store your whip in there and then it's ready to use.

-A Victorian one.

-I should think so, yes.

-It's 35.

Interesting little curiosity.

It would be on the side of the carriage

and he'd have his whip in there for when he wanted to whip his horses.

It was a convenient place to put it.

If you put it anywhere else, you'd lose it, wouldn't you?

Course you would. Go on, have a crack at it, Margie.

-15 wouldn't buy it?

-No, that is too little, really.

-What's in your mind?

-25 would be OK.

-No, not 20?

-I don't normally do that amount but, I suppose...

-I'll have it for 20.

-Yes, OK.

-OK.

Good work and it now seems there's some silver here after all.

-I found this...

-Oh!

-..this unwanted item.

I must admit, it got lost at the back of the cupboard.

-You never thought to get that out for me?

-No.

-I thought it was plate.

I had seen it and I just thought it was plate because it looks awful.

-It's actually silver.

-Ticket price is £48 but it's a bit damaged.

-What are you offering for it?

-What am I offering?

Seeing as it's been in the back of the cupboard for a while,

-I'll admit...

-I was going to say 15, 18.

If you give me 20 for it, I'll go for that.

I'm not going to argue. I'm in too much trouble to argue.

Thank you very much.

Margie is after just one more purchase

but I think she may have to head off piste again to get it.

I think a surveyor would have used this tripod.

Put his equipment on there to do his surveying and nowadays,

it would probably be a quite good, decorative piece to put a lamp on,

you know, these spotlights or these film lights.

That would look very trendy in a corner of a room.

It's just in, though, so there's no ticket price yet.

Anne, darling, dearest.

I want to end this. I've been in here too long.

We're all a bit weary. What's the very best on that?

-30 would be the best for that.

-Will it? Not another fiver?

No, I think 30 really is the best.

-Oh, God, what's a fiver between friends?

-Well...

-You're getting this fiver.

-OK. Thank you.

Well, that's quite a little collection you now have, Margie.

All for £70.

Gosh, after all that. We did it.

So, shopping completed, let's have a look at what they've got.

Paul acquired a gold guard chain, a locket, a moneybox,

some ironwork and an ancient tome for £250...

..while Margie plumped for a whip holder, tripod, a bamboo box,

a cruet set and a mirror for £145.

The mirror, the mirror, the mirror, the mirror, bling-y,

looks like a profit. Holy Moses, it could make £200.

The locket should be 85, paid 40,

don't know what he did in that shop but whatever he did, he can't lose.

The question is, has she pulled it off. The answer is no.

I'm going to jump off the edge. Bye.

After starting out beside the River Wye at Chepstow, this final leg

of our trip concludes at an auction in Gloucestershire at Newent.

Have you practised your, "I'm dying but I'm cool with that smell?"

Have you practised that? Is that rigor mortis?

-I can take this with good humour.

-I'm a good sport.

-I want them dead.

Newent was the birthplace of legendary rock'n'roll producer,

Joe Meek.

His 1962 hit, Telstar, made The Tornadoes the very first

-British group to top the US charts.

-Turn it on, Margie, this is it.

But which of our pop pickers is going to make it here?

Let's hear what auctioneer, Rita, makes of her prospect.

The surveyor's tripod, that's a little bit trendy for us

here in Newent. I'm not sure about that one.

I quite like the fender, it's a really nice traditional,

classic antique, very tasteful.

It may not perform as well as I would like it to.

-Take it away, Rita and the team.

-All girls, all ladies.

-Oh, wait a minute.

-Wait a minute.

First, we have Margie's silver cruet.

Someone start me at £30. £30 for the cruet set. Start me at 30.

Oh, I've got 32 on the net now. 34 now.

Look at your little face lighting up.

-36, 38, looking for 40.

-I said 40.

-42, looking for 44.

-Margie.

44, 46, then, looking for 48.

-I've come over all cold.

-46 in the room, then. You all done?

You all finished? Selling at £46, then.

-Lovely lady on the rostrum.

-Oh, Margie, strong start.

-Yes, it is.

She's already cut your lead a little, Paul.

Time to fight back with your fender and door porter.

Interesting, this. Start me at £30 and I'm looking for 32.

-We're away, we're away.

-32, 34, 36, at £36.

Cheap.

-Up, I want.

-At £36, then, are you all done?

That was it, Margie. It went with a whimper, but it went.

A bit of a disappointment, though.

-But can Margie's bamboo with a crack do better?

-Can I see £20 for it?

-£20 I'm bid. Looking for 22.

-Grateful.

24, 26, 28, looking for 30, 32.

I've got 30 in the room.

32, 34, 36 on the net, looking for 38.

40 now. Looking for 42, at 42,...

-Bless it and I dropped it.

-Perhaps you should drop it again.

At £44, are you all done?

Margie is closing in now. Time for Paul's big buy.

It's still a very good price, though.

I feel sorry for the woman you bought it off. Poor soul.

She obviously rather liked you.

It's taking me 40-odd years

and I've found a woman that liked me.

-Someone start me at £200.

-That should be easy.

It must be worth that. £200. Coming in online?

-150, I have in the room...

-What's happening?

-What's happening? Come on.

-£150 in the room at 150. 160 online.

170, looking for 180.

-Scrap at 280.

-It's getting there.

-190, looking for 200. 200. 210.

Looking for 220. 220. 230. At £220.

Put the hammer down, will you, please, love?

Love...put the hammer down.

All done, selling at 220.

It could have been worse... for Margie.

I'm surprised you didn't do better with that, I really am.

HE LAUGHS

Watch out, Margie, it's Paul's other bit of jewellery.

Is this the same lady that you were left alone in the shop with?

Very suspicious.

-Commission interest starts me at £50.

-Keep quiet.

-Now I'm looking for 55 and some.

-55 I have. I'm out looking for 60 now.

-At £55.

-55 quid.

-At £55, then.

-You're not very lucky, are you?

-And what is that?

£55.

GAVEL BANGS

Another profit. But Paul can still be caught.

He's got high hopes for his Practical Masonry, though.

I feel one of my headaches coming on.

Interest in this starts me on commission at £30.

-And I'm looking for 32.

-Come on, come on.

-32. At £30.

32 on the net and I'm out, looking for 34.

-At £32, then, are you all finished? I'm selling at £32.

-Oh, gosh.

-£32.

£300 to £500 book just made 30 quid.

Oh, well, that's the way of the trip sometimes.

I did something really bad in a past life, didn't I?

Now, what does Newent see in Margie's mirror?

See if this mirror takes off like a rocket.

THEY LAUGH

I shall demand a recount.

SHE LAUGHS

Someone like to start me at £50? £50 for the mirror? 50 anywhere?

Start me at 30, then. £30 for it.

-£30.

-Oh, dear.

-£20.

-20, someone start me at £20. £20 for the mirror.

-This is embarrassing.

£10 for the mirror. 10, must be worth that, must be worth £10.

Nobody want it? No offers?

No? I think we'll have to pass that lot.

THEY LAUGH

-What am I going to do with it? It's the last auction.

-Never mind.

It will grace the Road Trip office I'm sure. Paul's looking pleased.

Unsold!

HE LAUGHS

If only you had a whip to go with your holder, eh, Margie?

20 for the whip holder. £20. 20 anyone?

-Oh, everything's going wrong.

-£10, then. Start me at 10.

At £10 in the room, looking for 12.

At £10 now. At £10, then, selling at 10 in the room.

I'm on the "slippery" now.

She's right. The game looks to be up.

Paul's little doll's house moneybox now.

It's charming, this little box, it's going to make...

-I honestly refuse to make any forecast.

-Very wise, Margie.

Someone start me at 20. 20 anyone? £20? Someone start me at £10, then.

Not again.

Nobody want it for 10?

THEY LAUGH

Nobody want it for £10, then. No?

So much for our experts, eh?

But at least Paul's lost a lot less than Margie.

Oh, got my tripod. Oh.

The auctioneer predicted this might be a bit trendy for Newent.

I'm frightened. I'm not just desperate.

I'm frightened now because we've got the mirror in the back of the car,

how are we going to get a tripod?

You could always leave Paul behind.

Interest in this starts me at £32.

-That is a relief.

-36. 38.

At 38 now, looking for 40. 40 on the net. 42, 42, looking for 44.

46, 46, looking for 48. 48, 50.

Getting out of jail.

At 48 on the net.

At 50 on the net now. Looking for 55.

-Well, blow me down with a feather.

-55 now. Make it 60 online, then.

-At 55...

-We don't know nothing about this trade, do we?

Are you all finished online? Selling at £55, then.

Hip, hooray!

Finally, a sale.

Should help a couple of badly bruised egos.

-I'm telling no-one about this.

-Right, OK.

-Seriously, we're in this together. Right?

-Yes.

-It didn't happen.

Your secret's safe with us, Paul. No-one need ever know.

Margie, who started out with £317.36, she made,

after paying auction costs,

a loss of £17.90 leaving her with a final total of £299.46.

Paul began with £376.78

and after paying auction costs he made a profit of £31.26,

which means he's the winner with £408.04.

All profits to Children In Need.

Right. Margie!

Margie? Margie?

-Is the coast clear?

-Come on!

Now, remember, drive safely and always check your mirror.

-It's quite handy, actually.

-It's been a wonderful week for our duo.

Thank you.

# Just me and you. #

Look at the views, look at the views.

# I like the way you walk. #

Get in!

# I like the things you do. #

Yes.

# Oh-h! #

Oh, no.

# One and one is one

# Little darling now

# One and one is one

And on the next Antiques Road Trip we have a brand-new

pair of experts, Thomas Plant and Anita Manning.

Anita gets all competitive...

Am I going to be the winner on this one?

-..and Thomas dazzles us with his knowledge.

-It's a bike.