Maureen Lipman Cash in the Celebrity Attic

Hello and welcome to Cash in Celebrity Attic,

the programme that searches the homes of the famous

for all those antiques and collectibles,

then we take them off to auction to raise money for really, really good causes.

Today we're going to meet a much-loved and highly respected actress.

On television, she is known for many roles,

ranging from an extremely troubled agony aunt to a really feisty Jewish grandmother.

She has been a stage actress for over 30 years,

and indeed, was a member of Laurence Olivier's Royal National Theatre Company at the Old Vic.

She has also starred in many well-known movies and is a well-respected author,

so have you guessed who this very talented person is?

Today I'm on my way to meet the absolutely delightful Maureen Lipman.

Maureen is one of the most respected personalities in the acting profession,

and of course, she is very well known for her comedy roles

like Jane Lucas in Agony.

She was born in Kingston-upon-Hull where her father worked as a tailor.

Her mother used to take her the pantomime and encouraged her onto the stage.

She married BAFTA award-winning playwright Jack Rosenthal in 1973,

and they have two children, Amy and Adam.

Jack wrote for many successful television series such as The Lovers,

Coronation Street and London's Burning, which he also created.

Very sadly, Jack passed away in 2004.

'On today's programme, Maureen's wit surfaces before we even begin.'

Other expert's already rooting through drawers of yours.

He's not going to route through my drawers without asking me first!

'She has a very low opinion about the value of her autograph.'

You would get a bit more if I hadn't signed it.

'At the auction, she does her best to enjoy herself.'

-Being shown very well.

-'But will she still be smiling at the end of the sale?'

Joining me today is Jonty Herndon.

With 20 years of collectibles knowhow, he wastes no time getting our antique hunt under way.

Since losing her husband, Maureen has downsized to this very posh flat in West London,

but it looks like she doesn't live here alone.

High-five? Good girl.

Maureen Lipman, I can't believe what I'm seeing.

Who is this?

This is Diva the Basenji,

the barkless dog of the Congo.

-She doesn't bark.

-Why did you decide to move?

I just saw this place and I thought, this is fantastic.

It has a courtyard where I keep my rabbit.

That is Warren out there, he's an apricot velvet.

He's the only bloke in the vicinity and he's very blokeish. Look at her, she will wait forever for this.

If you give a rabbit something -

no thanks, nothing, just like a bloke.

This programme is all about raising money for charity, so what have you decided on?

My charity is Campaign Burma UK and it's about raising awareness,

about human rights in Burma and development and education.

In an ideal world, how much money would you like to raise?

If I could get £1,000, I think that would be fantastic for the cause.

Much to your surprise, Jonty Herndon, our expert, is already rooting through drawers of yours.

He's not going to root through my drawers, not without asking me first!

Which area shall we go to first?

Let's walk that way.

'Maureen has lived here for three years and I can see why she fell in love with the flat.

'It's got lovely high ceilings and lots of original features,

'and each airy room has a lovely comfortable feeling,

'filled with items that she has collected over the years.

'It hasn't taken Jonty long to spot something of interest for the auction.'

You're in the house five minutes and already you've cornered two paintings?

I certainly have. They're really... Where are they from, Maureen?

-They're really...

-..Different!

These came from a programme that was on television a very short while ago

called Virgin Virtuoso in which the painter John Myatt takes an untrained painter

to a spot where a famous painting was painted, in this case the Hay Wain.

He paints like Constable and you paint like an idiot.

The thing is, mine is so jolly, isn't it?

Is John Myatt the famous forger?

He is, a jolly nice man.

He freely admitted he was in this fraudulent game,

but, give him his due, he did fully corporate with the police.

He was imprisoned, but was released within the year of his term of sentence.

Here's the question - we know that John is going to sell, the thing is, will Maureen sell?

Well, they need to be sold together because you're actually telling a story.

I'm being very polite here as well.

You are. If you said you were a chocolate box manufacturer

and you were looking for a new box for your chocolates, don't you think?

I would stick to the daytime job, Maureen.

You would be signed on by the chocolate box company!

We must sell the two together,

and we're looking at £400 to £600.

That's pretty good.

Obviously £574 of those are for his.

No, I was going to reverse it.

That's a great start, well done, and unusual, something different.

-Let's see what else you have.

-Let's head this way, shall we?

'We decided to split up, just to make sure we explore every nook and cranny of Maureen's home.

'Jonty pauses to inspect some more paintings,

'but our host wonders if another of her creations might be worth something.

'She says this abstract piece, inspired by Burma, just painted itself.

'A Maureen Lipman fan could easily part with £40-£60 for it.

'Maureen has made it very clear that we are not to go rooting through her drawers without permission

'but I have been given special leave to investigate this rather lovely table, although Maureen doesn't know

'that Jonty has been sneaking around in her bedroom already. He's naughty!'

My dressing-table?

Yes, it's hidden in the corner. Is it surplus to requirements?

This is my guest room which I haven't yet guested.

I haven't done it.

I've brought it with me but it doesn't fit in here.

But it's interesting because of the...

What do you call it?

The decoration, the painted decoration.

But it's inlaid.

It's not technically inlaid, it's actually carved into the surface.

If you look here, it's carved into the surface so if you run your fingers across,

you can feel there are indentations there,

but all they have done is painted over that, but all of that is hand-painted.

-This piece of furniture is Victorian, it's late Victorian.

-You can tell by the legs, can't you?

The legs and also, particularly, the handles.

These are typical handles of the late 19th century but I love them, they're really of the period.

-What wood is it? Oak?

-No, it's mahogany.

-It's quite light.

-Yes, but it has faded in the right places.

If you look at the legs, you can see how much darker it was, that is the original colour down there.

I'm not selling the bits on the bottom, the children made those at school.

The dressing-table will sell but I notice we've got a bit of damage

at the top here, and I also noticed the top surface.

Mugs of coffee.

It's also the alcohol in the perfume that creates these marks here.

We are looking at £40 to £60 which is just so little money.

It's the only thing that will get me galvanised to actually make this

into a proper nice guest room for proper nice guests.

Let's put that in there and go and find some more stuff.

I noted that - a proper nice guest, I hope she's not casting aspersions about our Jonty.

Sadly, Victorian furniture is not as popular as it used to be,

but let's hope the pretty piece catches somebody's eye and at least achieves Jonty's estimate.

My exploration of the lounge has been fruitful,

and I find Maureen's beautiful pearl necklace,

and Jonty gives it a healthy £100-£150 estimate.

Maureen has written many, many books over the years and our expert is distracted by her autobiography.

I want to hear the stories direct from the lady herself.

Maureen, we all know what a wonderful talent your husband,

Jack Rosenthal, was, and very sadly, he died a number of years back.

How have you been since that because he's a very hard man to replace, isn't he?

Oh, impossible to replace.

What I have learnt is that you do it your own way, you don't let anybody tell you when you will feel better.

You don't let anybody tell you what you should do, who you should see,

when it's time to date again, because we're all different.

That life will go on because there something left for you to do.

It's incredibly fortunate that I'm busy because work is the answer.

Would you say that you are a typical Jewish mother?

I suppose I am, yes.

I expect them to come on Friday nights.

My son has turned into a baker, he can actually bake challah bread.

That is a very surprising thing.

What did the children at the time think of you as Beattie during the BT ad on television,

because they ran for years, didn't they?

It's about, God knows how long ago it is, 20 years or something?

I will die with ring tones on my grave.

I must say, I will never forget the ology one.

Nobody will forget the ology one. I still get it all the time.

People say it as though it's never been said before.

Sorry, I just said it again.

Very predictable.

I was expecting higher things from you.

The charity, we must major on that.

There are many different aspects to the work going on in Burma so which one have you chosen to support?

Campaign Burma UK and this one is more to do with human rights, as well as education.

Nobody realises that the tsunami hit Burma.

They are very, very gentle, quiet, courteous people

and they need somebody out there to go, "no, this won't do".

-I guess your £1,000 would do very well out there in many different areas.

-It will go a long way.

It won't go a long way if we don't go a little way and find some more stuff.

I have to say, Maureen, you make a very good cup of tea.

My mother's cups, these!

Look how sweet they are. Cheers, dear, here's to all our mums.

'Going by Jonty's lowest estimates so far, we stand to make £580 when we take the items to auction.

'Diva, the dog, looks rather impressed by that.

'Maureen wants to raise £1,000, so we're over halfway there.

'Despite her warnings, Jonty's carried out a thorough search of Maureen's drawers.

'In the sideboard, he finds this four peace silver-plated tea set which belonged to her mother-in-law.

'He values it at £40-£60.

'Being Irish, I've been having a good old nose around in Maureen's extensive wardrobe

'and want to know more about a really fabulous dress I've spotted there.'

Maureen, I've been dying to get into your wardrobe for years,

and I find this little number which is very much in at the moment, isn't it?

You don't get many taupe evening dresses, do you?

This was made for me by Neil Cunningham for my one-woman show, Live and Kidding.

Then I wore it for Doctor Who. I'm an alien, trapped in a television set.

So, when I'm in that television set saying, "feed me",

and trying to suck people's faces off to take over the energy of the world, I'm wearing this very dress.

I know about Dr Who-ees, and they will have anything, they'll have the spittle from the desk.

They're bound to want this and it is a lovely dress. It's for a size 12.

-Dare I ask - does this tiny waist still fit?

-You dare ask - no.

-Jonty? Oh yes, he was in my kitchen all the time.

-What have we got?

This dress will sell just because it's a nice, modern cut.

Somebody could easily fit into that but I overheard the conversation

that we have this fabulous Dr Who connection with this.

All of a sudden, it takes it to a completely different level.

Once you put it on the net or wherever you advertise these things,

does it become a worldwide interest because it is Dr Who?

Of course, auction rooms can now reach the whole world.

People can bid live via the internet in every auction room,

so every local auction room can become an international centre for sales as well.

Let's consider value. If this was in a regular auction, £50 for the dress.

But because it's Doctor Who, it's £200 to £400.

That's just the starting estimate.

Maureen probably paid around £2,000 for it!

'I'm not joking.

'Will this outfit attract any fans of the Doctor come auction day?

'Let's hope the dress makes a price that rocks all of space and time.

'All that excitement is still to come but for now, Jonty's surging on with our rummage

and he finds this very attractive grey suit that Maureen wore to collect her CBE at the Palace.

Plus two other designer outfits.

He reckons they could quite easily fetch £150-£250 on sale day.

Now, I wish I could fit into this absolutely gorgeous gown which Maureen wore on the stage.

It was designed Ben Frau, who also used to dress people like Diana Rigg and Stephanie Beacham.

Maureen brings in another of his dresses that she wore in the show.

They will need the right buyers at auction, but if they are there,

these dresses should raise another £100-£200.

Our host is really getting into the rummaging spirit now.

Ah! You might find this interesting.

Because I think her signature is quite rare.

This is the Re:Joyce programme from my show. That's me.

And the signature is Barbra Streisand.

-Did she come and see your show?

-No.

-All right. Explain.

-I don't know.

I remember her signing it for me. I must have given her it to sign which is a bit cheeky, isn't it, really?

But anyway, autographs are funny things. How do they do these days?

It is a growth market rather than a shrinking market, autographs.

Really, it's all to do with the cult of celebrity.

So sometimes the bigger the name, the higher the price, but not necessarily so.

It also depends on how many signatures have been done.

If you take Muhammad Ali, for instance, he's signed an awful lot.

-Or me.

-Is that what you do?

-You would get more if I

-haven't signed it, actually.

If she'd been in Dr Who, you would really get some money.

Of course, absolutely. Or if you're Maureen Lipman!

Barbra Streisand, in all seriousness, of course,

what a fantastic, massive name as far as modern entertainment is concerned.

I've also got Joyce Grenfell's christening cup.

Now, that's not for sale, presumably.

I don't think so.

It's got Joyce Irene Phipps, and the date, 1910.

It buffs up lovely.

How lovely. I will put that back quickly. Because we are looking for items for sale.

I would suggest that we can put this into the auction sale and we're looking at,

just because of the signature on the top, £50- £80.

So that's really very good news indeed. Excellent.

Let's go and find some more.

Let's do. Carry on rummaging.

That would make a good movie.

Maureen should know, because after all, she was amongst the stars of Carry On Columbus.

Come to think of it, Jonty could take the Sid James' part, and who would I be? I'll be Babs Windsor.

We do have some similarities, you know. The blonde hair for a start.

So, Maureen, it's lovely to relax in your newly-decorated sitting room on these wonderful purple settees.

I have to say, I knew Jack, the wonderful writer that he was, but I didn't know that he sculpted.

Did he sculpt in...?

In clay and then had it cast in bronze.

It took hours.

I would go out to work on something like Oklahoma, come back six hours later

and he would be in exactly the same position as when I left,

sticking individual hairs on Ryan Giggs' chest.

And one day I would like Ryan Giggs to see that picture of him.

Bobby Charlton's got the one of him and if I could get to Eric Cantona, I would probably never come home.

We've already established that you pretty well do everything.

You have been on stage a lot. You've done movies, television.

I've been around a long time, Gloria, haven't I?

Nonsense! I would imagine that you would think of Agony really hit a nerve on television at that time.

Some things are ahead of their time.

I don't think there had been a Jewish mother or a gay best friend.

It was pushing the boundaries.

And I think it appealed to a lot of people who were marginalised at the time.

I must ask you another question, about working with Polanski

on the Pianist. That must be one of the highlights of your career.

I would say so. Probably Agony and Oklahoma because it was such a lovely production

and I got to see Hugh Jackman every day for a year. I'm all right.

Yes. Recovered!

And the Polanski film, yes, when you are in a hit, there's a different feeling.

How do you view the modern media of television and film and everything, the reality emphasis?

I just threw in the towel when I was offered Celebrity Midwife.

GLORIA LAUGHS

That's all you need, isn't it? As if giving birth isn't bad enough!

But having Maureen Lipman and some actor from the Bill at the end of the bed saying, "Push!"

Mind you, it does conjure up quite a picture.

But at least Maureen was happy and able to work with us.

In the lounge, Jonty is inspecting some paintings on the wall,

but Maureen loves these, so they are definitely not going to auction.

I wonder about this ornate fire screen.

But where's Maureen? She's back in the wardrobe looking for any more outfits that might be worth selling.

Now, I don't know if this is of interest, chaps,

but this is that trompe l'oeil jacket

that I used for the book jacket of whatever that one was called.

"You Can Read Me Like A Book". This was painted by a theatrical painter.

Well, he's not that theatrical, actually, but he paints for the theatre, called Chris Clark,

who does Kandinsky, he does Phantom Of the Opera.

And he painted it to look like a library.

And it is actually fantastic.

Trompe L'oeil I first saw on Regency and Georgian furniture.

It goes back to Roman times, so there are rooms in Pompeii which, if you wanted to extend the room,

they would create a window or a door, so it's actually been used for centuries, literally centuries.

But this is a first for me. I've never seen it on a jacket.

I don't know if you agree, Gloria, but I think it would be a wonderful jacket to take up on to the rostrum,

for Maureen to go up and sell it, on the rostrum on the day because it would make all the difference.

It really works, because no auctioneer will ever absorb all the information you have about it.

Tell the story. Get you up there.

-How good are you at auctioning?

-I'm not bad.

I've done quite a few in my life. Haven't we all?

She's good at telling a story - I know that.

I've done a few with Jeffrey Archer. He's sold the walls, the ceiling, the floor.

I'm sure we could be getting in the region of £150-£250.

Including a signed book.

You have a spare book to sign, yeah?

Take the flat! Strip it...

I know you like the flat. That's right. Take it.

Take my car, my dog... oh no, not my dog!

So, Maureen, it's at this point now where I do my sums because we've had a wonderful day at your house.

I love all the stories. I love talking to you at any time.

And if everything goes to plan bearing in mind that Jonty leaves

things in a conservative state in terms of value,

you should get at least £1,270.

-Great. I want more!

-That would be wonderful.

Typical woman - I want more!

We've had a fabulous day here with Maureen and have some really unique items to take to auction.

There's a Neil Cunningham gown

that she wore for her Doctor Who appearance.

This is highly collectible and we're hoping for £200-£400.

And there's the Joyce Grenfell programme

signed by the one and only Barbra Streisand.

It's an unusual lot, but a £50-£80 price tag

might make it tempting for bidders.

Not forgetting those two paintings of Flatford Mill.

One by John Myatt And the other by Maureen herself.

Between them, they could raise £400-£600.

'Still to come - what's happened to one of Maureen's precious collectibles'

# The knob on my teapot is missing! #

'Painful enough. And she entertains us with a Joyce Grenfell impression.'

AS JOYCE GRENFELL: Just when you think it's finished,

the entire thing goes starting on all over again.

Be prepared to be entertained when the final hammer falls.

Well, it's not very often you come to an auction and get to

play on the dodgems but these are just some of the items on sale here at Bamfords auction in Derbyshire.

'Maureen is certainly not dodging the £1,000 she needs to raise for the Burma Campaign UK.

'As this auction house specialises in fine art and antiques,

'her Victorian dresser and the pearls should do very well.

'But as for all the other items, the clothing, the signed book and paintings,

'there's always a risk that such personal memorabilia may not be to everybody's taste.

'As Jonty and I assess the offerings here,

'the emphasis is going to be on making sure the bidders know which ones are donated by Maureen.

'So let's hope the room is stuffed full of Lipman fans.'

-Maureen, how are you?

-Hello.

-Good to see you.

-Anything left at home or have you brought all your clothes here?

I saw you having a lingering look at this jacket.

I do actually have a slight pain in my heart today to get rid of this.

I noticed that you haven't brought the silver plated tea set.

What's happened there?

I decided not to put the silver-plated tea set in,

because it was my mother-in-law's,

and because the knob was intact on the teapot,

whereas the knob on my own teapot is missing.

Sounds like a musical song, doesn't it?

# The knob on my teapot is missing! #

You've brought a map instead?

I replaced it with a map that was donated to me by Richard Price,

a friend of mine, because it was to do with Burma, an antique map of Burma.

The value's remained the same as £40 - £60.

So what you put into the sale is still exactly the same.

Good. The auction is about to start.

Maybe should get in our position where we have a good view of the auction.

And I hope you do well today.

Maureen also decided not to bring along her abstract painting of Burma

because it just proved too sentimental to part with.

That does mean we are down in our rummage estimates by around £40.

Now, Maureen, why am I not surprised that you are different at this auction,

because you brought your own gavel?

Yes, I've got my own gavel. Everyone girl should have their own gavel.

-Where did you get this one?

-This was a present to me.

I had a song called The Auctioneer in my one-woman show.

It says on it, To Miss Maureen Lipman, Honorary Auctioneer.

Well, we're going to get you up on the podium during the programme, so it's great.

I can't wait.

Seldom a day goes by without some sort of performance,

so why not going, going, almost gone?

A bit like my good self, really.

I don't think so, somehow or other,

but Maureen's first item to come up is the Victorian dressing table.

Priced at £40 - £60.

Nice, elegant dressing table, this one.

I have a single bid and I will start at the lower end of the estimate,

at £40, and two do I see?

42, 45 bid.

At 45 with me, 48, do you want?

At 45, 48 anyway?

At 45, all sure? 48, and 50.

At £50 with me and five, anyone? It's against you, are you sure?

£50, any advance? £50.

£50 - So smack in the middle of your estimate, Jonty.

Yes. I was hoping for a little bit more but it is damaged,

and yes, I put £40-£60 and yes, we are right in the middle, then.

Maureen, in the middle, are you disappointed?

Not at all(!)

Sarcasm always wins.

Now she has no excuse for not sorting out her spare room.

And who knows? If Jonty plays his cards right,

he might be the first guest to stay there.

The next item is the one she swapped for the tea set.

The Burma map, priced at £40-£60.

Maureen, where was this map from?

It was given to me by Richard Price.

He collects antique maps and he said he knew the cause was Burma,

he said "I will look out a map for you that's got Burma on it".

Of course the borders and everything changed considerably, but it's lovely, very nice.

We will start the bidding on an absentee bid of £28, and 30, do I see?

28 and 30, now. 28 and 30.

Five, 40, £35 with me and 40 now.

35, absentee bid.

At £35, do I see 40?

At 35 and selling. £35.

What do you think?

What do I think?

-Yes?

-Rubbish!

Oh, it's just a laugh a minute.

She was obviously hoping for more as we all were.

Still, it's only £5 below Jonty's estimate.

Her next item is the programme of the show she starred in about the great Joyce Grenfell.

It was called Re:Joyce. And it's been signed by Barbra Streisand.

It's a unique lot with an estimate of £50-£80.

Joyce has figured very much in your career, hasn't she?

She has done, on and off for 20 years.

Yes, yes. And in fact I'm looking to do another show about Joyce quite soon, yeah.

What are some of your favourite sayings of Joyce?

AS JOYCE GRENFELL: Well, that's the thing about Beethoven, isn't it?

You know, just when you think it's finished, the entire thing goes starting on all over again!

320 is the theatre programme,

signed by the wonderful Barbra Streisand.

And she doesn't sign a lot, so it's a rare thing and I've got two bids here and I can start at £55.

-That's good.

-60 do I see? At 55 and 60, 65, 70?

Against you at 65, 70 do I see?

At 65, 70 here, 75 and 80.

80 in the room and 85 now?

At £80 in the room. Selling at 80,

-it's yours at £80.

-That's a good result.

Give us a smile there, Maureen.

You're happy about that one, aren't you?

# Don't tell me what to do! #

I wouldn't dream of it! But I think she must be pleased.

After all, it was at the top of the estimate.

The next lot also relates to her work on stage.

It's the two Ben Frau costume dresses,

and the valuation is £100-£200.

Well, Maureen, since I've been in the auction room today since quite early on,

I've noticed a lot of people looking very lovingly at your gorgeous purple dress.

It will stand up on its own. It's beautiful.

I will no longer ever grace it.

It has a tiny, tiny waist.

It's probably a 12 but it's made for somebody of ample proportions

and with a small waist and I feel I'm the other way around these days.

The quality of this dress is quite superb.

Whether the people on the floor completely understand that, we're about to find out.

Do I see a bid of £100 to start it, please? 100.

It's a great lot at £100, do I see?

80, then. £80, who wants it?

80, I'll start it.

At £80, and 90, do I see?

Are we all done at £80?

That's not sold.

We'll put that into the costume sale at the end of the year.

Ah!

I think that's a good decision, Jonty, isn't it?

Absolutely. James is very correct. You don't want to give things away.

The quality in that dress is quite superb,

and you just don't want to see these things going for next to nothing.

So they're still yours, Maureen, we haven't lost anything,

but we've also got nothing else to put into the pot at the moment so we've got to keep on selling.

What a shame those beautiful dresses didn't reach the estimate.

Hopefully her next lot will.

It's a pearl necklace, and it's up for £100-£150.

Well, pearls for a girl always go down very well

so I'm just wondering why you're getting rid of these rather good ones.

They are good ones and they are donated by the Burma UK Charity themselves.

And they're real, aren't they?

Yes, yes, absolutely.

Most of us have improper pearls!

How do you test a real pearl?

-Put it on your teeth.

-And if it's a bit gritty, it's real.

-Yes, that's right.

-A good long string of freshwater pearls, and I have three bids on them.

85, 90, and one higher.

£100 starts them, and ten, do I see?

At £100 and 10 anyway?

110 in the cap, 120, 130 nodding.

In the far corner at 130.

140, new place. 150. 150. 160.

At £150, in the cap.

At 150, 160 now.

At 150, right in the corner, at 150, are you sure?

At £150.

-Hey, result!

-Happy?

-Yes.

-I want to see a big smile from you.

-Not yet!

She does play hard to get, doesn't she? That's a great result.

The second one today to reach its upper estimate.

So, how is Maureen doing so far?

At the halfway point, with a lot of really good item still to come,

you have £315.

So you're well on your way to your 1,000.

Yeah, but I'm not smiling.

I don't know what we're going to have to do to get her to smile!

Let's go and have a look round.

'Uh-oh! The failure of those dresses to sell and the low price for the map

'have clearly been disappointing for Maureen.

'But you never know, perhaps a short break, a cup of tea,

'and a look around the sale will cheer her up a bit.

'Not that she's here to buy anything, of course.'

Everything's too big for me to take home, so I've settled on this Hudson's Soap.

I don't know anybody called Hudson.

But it says on it, "drink, puppy, drink". And similar on the other side.

And I'll put that on my courtyard at home,

and fill it with water on a daily basis for my rabbit.

And of course I would pick something that weighed a ton and that's repro.

A woman of taste.

'So, that unusual water bowl didn't have an estimate,

'but it did attract interest from someone other than Maureen, because it sold for £45.

'If Maureen's progress has inspired you to try your hand at the auction game,

'remember that charges such as commission will be added to your bill.

'So it's always worth checking these fees in advance with the sale room.

'We start the second half of the sale with two paintings of the same scene.

'They have the highest estimate today

'of £400-£600.'

Now this is a rather interesting pairing of paintings,

because as you were saying in your flat, John Myatt is the artist,

and you were copying what he was doing so it was an interesting day out for you, really.

It was a gorgeous day in Constable Land, painting my version

of the Hay Wain with John Myatt, who did it the Constable way,

and I did it the chocolate box way.

We're now going to test Maureen's artistic skills on the open market.

-So we shall see.

-He actually said to me at home, he said to me,

"Don't give up the day job."

Do I see £400 for them, please? 400?

300 I have to start with.

At £300, and 20, do I see?

At £300 with me, and 20, is it?

At 300, 320 now. No?

Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, those are not sold.

Not sold. How disappointing. But actually, you know what?

I think it's really good that you don't just give stuff away.

Because you would have hated it if they'd gone for 100 quid, wouldn't you?

I've got to take them home now, haven't I?

Misery, misery.

Maureen may have been happy to see the back of them for any price.

The last three lots are all clothes.

The first one to come before the bidders are Maureen's three designer outfits,

which have an estimate of £150-£250.

Been to wardrobe?

Jonty, we are bringing you some absolutely fabulous outfits.

But this one's very special, Maureen, isn't it?

-It's been to the Palace, hasn't it?

-It's been to the Palace. Yes.

It's been in front of the Queen.

What's your memory of that day?

I remember meeting the Queen and her saying, "I believe you're coming to the Palace soon."

"If I can find something to wear, ma'am", I said.

Struggling not to call her Pam because someone had told me, "Call her ma'am to rhyme with Pam"!

And about a year or six months later she said, "I see you've found something to wear."

-And this was it.

-Now, we've got the 1960s fur lined embroidered

coat, the beaded, sequinned jacket and the jacket there as well, the grey jacket. Lovely quality.

And being shown very well.

Where shall we start this? Do I see £100 to start it?

100, 100 front row. 110 on the phone.

110 on the phone 120, 130,

140, 150. 160, 170.

Go on, one more.

Yes, I know, we want one more, don't we?

-Persuasion - how good are you at persuasion?

-Can I have a go?

-170?

Well done, 180.

For a good cause. 180, 190.

You are going to get it at 190, I think. 190.

This one alone, today, in that she's still a current designer, would cost you at least £400-£500.

-At least. Beautiful.

-One more?

It's at 190.

That's half price of one jacket.

Two? Definitely?

I'm getting evils from the front row.

At £190. Well done. 200, 210 for you.

210, 220, 230, 240, 250, 260, one more, go on, for luck, 255.

You don't often get an auctioneer who begs. 255, 260, 265. Well bid.

270, do I see? All done!

Well done!

Woo-woo-woo! Fantastic! Very well modelled.

'What fun! Maureen really seemed to enjoy herself there,

'and I'm sure the bidders had a jolly good laugh as well.

'It's not often you're treated to your very own private performance by the great Maureen Lipman.'

Now, Maureen, another outfit coming up and this one's very, very special.

And if I remember it correctly, this was your own outfit that you wore in Doctor Who.

My whole part took place inside a television screen

when I was an alien sucking people's faces off.

-Just a normal everyday...

-Was it enjoyable?

Of course, it's gone mega.

This should do well, Jonty, shouldn't it?

I'm very excited about this, simply because of the association.

Nothing to do with anything else, but simply because of the association with the show.

It has an estimate of £200-£400.

And with Doctor Who being such an enormous hit these days,

it could receive global interest.

I can start it here at £170, 170, 180 in the room, 190, 200,

220, 240, 260, 280.

280, 300, 320, 340, 360, 380, 400.

At 400 in the room, it's with you, sir. At £400, and 20, do I see?

At 420.

At 420, more coming in on the phone.

At 400, with you. And 10, do I see?

Any more? Great piece of television history at £400, any advance?

And selling at 400.

Yes! Yes, Maureen. How about that?

-That's good.

-What do you mean "good"? It's brilliant!

Come on, enthusiasm!

Acting!

So, was the winning bidder a Doctor Who fan?

Well, sadly he was a bit camera-shy,

so we'll never know what he plans to do with it. The mind boggles.

And so we come to the final lot, the Trompe L'oeil jacket

up for £150-£250.

This is a treasure that Maureen will try to sell herself.

Maureen, I know you've got the gavel at the ready and I've got the jacket at the ready.

This is the one. You've got to strip off now.

And get into this jacket and go up on the podium.

To actually do the auctioneering myself, yes?

Here we are. Let's welcome Maureen to the stand.

Everybody, Maureen Lipman. Give a round of applause.

APPLAUSE

Thank you.

-Well done.

-Hello, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to start the bidding with my very own gavel.

I'm going to start the bidding at £30.

Can I see anyone with £30?

30, on the phone, OK, 50 anyone?

£50. Thank you very much, madam.

Remember, it such a good cause.

£50 at the moment, any advance on 50?

60? £60, thank you. This is going well. £70.

£80? I've got 80, it's standing at 90 at the moment.

Thank you, madam. Very exciting.

£90, any advance on 90? Can we have a nice round 100?

Nice round 100? £100!

Yes! Great, thank you. Any advance?

No? Too much? Can I help?

Can I give you some money?

It's going at 100. 110.

Anybody? 110, madam. Bravo.

120. Thank you.

We are stopping at that.

120? It's going at 120.

130, sir, thank you very much.

It's going at 130. 140.

It's standing at 140 at the moment, at 140, it's going. It's going.

You've got it on the phone, sir.

How apt that it should be a phone, and me. Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

-She did well, didn't she?

She's quite cool, calm and collected up there.

Even the dog approves.

'She really did do well,

'managing to get just £10 under Jonty's lower estimate.'

Well, I don't know, Maureen. You've been in and out of your clothes so many times today, it's marvellous.

-How did you feel up there?

-Oh, I liked doing the auction.

Of course, you can't really, you can't see anybody bidding.

Particularly if you're as myopic as I am.

'Well, I think Maureen is still on a high from all of that

'and hopefully she will stay up there when I break the news

'about the total that she's made today.'

Well, I think the excitement has been fantastic.

The highlight was when you stripped off and went up on the podium.

We have a supermodel on our hands.

And Maureen, the thing is, when we started off in your apartment,

you had the aspiration of £1,000 for your Burma UK charity.

Well I'm very pleased to tell you, Maureen, start smiling,

you've got your £1,000, in actual fact, you have £1,120.

-Have I?

-Yeah!

-£1,120.

That is definitely better than a slap in the eye with a wet herring.

That's another way of putting it!

The Burma Campaign UK is to be the recipient of Maureen's fine auction total.

Whatever you hear about the Middle East and Zimbabwe and Darfur and the Congo

and all the things you give money to, and you do, this is the unknown one.

Zoya Phan is an international co-ordinator of the charity

and hasn't returned to Burma since she was a child.

I was forced to flee from my homeland and the

first time I was forced to flee was when I was 14 years old.

And we had to hide in the jungle.

After finding her way to a refugee camp in Thailand with her family,

she eventually came to the UK to study.

It is very important to have people like Maureen Lipman to support our campaign.

It means so much to see that people do care and I really hope that,

with the help of these people, one day, I can go home and live in my homeland.

What a lot of fun we've had with Maureen Lipman,

and what a good sport she was getting upon the podium,

so a tremendous result all round for Maureen.

If you'd like to raise money for something really special,

and you'd like to join us here on Cash In The Attic, it's actually very easy.

All you have to do is go to our website...

..and fill in the form, and who knows?

Maybe you will be here in one of these auction rooms with us all,

one day very soon. In the meantime, thanks for your company. Bye-bye.

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