Episode 1 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip

Some of the nation's favourite celebrities...

why have I got such expensive taste?

One antiques expert each.

And one big challenge.

Who can seek out and buy the best antiques at the very best prices?

Answers on a postcard.

Oh!

And auction for a big profit further down the road...

Who will spot the good investment? Who will listen to advice?

-Do you like it?

-No, I think it's horrible.

And who will be the first to say, "Don't you know who I am?"

Well done, us!

Time to put your pedal to the metal!

This is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip!

Yeah!

A joust for antiquarian supremacy is about to take place in the English Riviera.

A new daring celebrity duo, each toting £400 is about to start a trolley dash for treasure.

They are husband-and-wife duo, queen of the sofa, Fern Britton,

and prince of the puddings Phil Vickery.

This reminds me of when you and I were courting, darling!

What does that mean, courting?

I'm so glad you're romantic and have these fond memories.

-Courting is '50s!

-Well, we were courting.

-We were going out together.

We're not that old!

We did go out together. Now we just stay in together!

That's because you go to bed at 8.30!

Their eyes met over a red and green pepper.

Ready, steady, cook!

And the rest, as they say, is history.

I want to pull your package, but just wait a minute.

Fresh-faced Fern's career in local telly started here in Devon.

She swiftly became a breakfast-time staple,

before taking up her position as queen of the daytime sofa.

At home interviewing celebs and world leaders alike,

she can now add dancer and novelist to her growing list of glory.

So, you don't mind if I beat you today, eh?

-Pardon?

-You don't mind...?

-Do you know, I'm fiercely competitive.

-You are fiercely competitive.

Galloping gourmet Phil is an award-winning cook turned TV chef.

His smorgasbord of experience includes competitive cooking in Ready, Steady, Cook

and Masterchef.

There you go, lads.

Who more would you want to share it with than us?

And thanks to his regular appearances on This Morning,

he's an instantly recognisable face.

And don't they look the height of sophistication cruising in this sleek little Italian number,

a '92 Alfa Romeo Spider.

Bella, bella!

So we're on our way now to meet James and Mark. I love them! Don't you?

-I must admit, of all the ones that we watch...

-Yes?

-They're the two that make me laugh the most.

-Yes.

The hilarious Brighton-based Mark Stacey has been in the trade over 25 years.

He's wearing quite well.

He loves art deco and retro pieces, but suffers from a crushing lack of confidence.

-They might have chosen!

-This is it, you see. They might have looked and thought who'd want to be with me?

Aha!

James Braxton is our debonair veteran auctioneer with a passion for quality and design.

He's larger than life...

-LOUD LAUGHTER

-..and so is his laugh.

And he's terribly modest to boot!

Can I just remind you of the scene? They are in their car and Fern is saying,

"I'd love to go with that very dapper handsome elegant man James Braxton!"

See what I mean? Adding a little fun and frivolity to the foray,

the chaps have hit the road in Herbie, a 1969 classic VW Beetle.

The sun is out and the top is off,

and, as usual, the experts are raring to go.

Well, James is anyway!

This quest for quirk

takes place in the sunny southwest of England.

Starting in the glorious cream-tea county of Devon,

ending up at auction in Crewkerne, Somerset.

We're in scrumpy country. Whoar!

First stop is a quaint little village called Hele.

-So what are you looking for?

-Anything to do with cider.

-# I am a cider drinker... #

-Cider drinking in Somerset.

Well, not while you're driving, chaps!

Well, I know you. You'll go for something that's...

-Fishing, fishing memorabilia.

-You'll go for fishing memorabilia.

-Or agricultural.

-Yes. Or the faux zebra-skin footstool or a horrible 1960s bath!

-Yes! Can I take it home?

-A bit of class, a proper antique, darling!

Aha!

Aha! Aha!

-So exciting.

-It is.

-We were slightly concerned,

because I thought I might get Charles,

the gangly one who runs like this...

But as well, I suppose, we have to pair up, don't we?

I know, I'm not going to stand in the way. Mark wants the intelligent lady of the sofa.

Phil, that's you, then. Oh!

I think we're going to get on!

You're keen on antiques as well?

Well, we love watching the programmes, and we always sit there going, "That won't do it,"

and then of course it does. So I can't say that we're good, but we are looking forward to it.

I wonder if she'll feel the same after two days with Mark!

It's time to pick a pocket or two in Fagan's Antiques

where the spend fest begins for both our deal-doing duos.

I just hope, you know, when we make all these profits, Phil puts that expression on...

That'll be him.

Ah, yes, I see the resemblance now!

-I'm Phil. Pleased to meet you.

-Hello, Phil.

-Chris, owner extraordinaire of this mighty place.

-Have you had a good look round?

-Well, we came to the top man.

Thought I'd save ourselves a bit of work, really.

A little lazy perhaps, but hey-ho!

What about this ethnographic stuff down here? These spears.

-That's a job lot.

-Really?

-There's some good stuff here.

-Yeah, we like spears.

-Boys like spears, don't they?

-Yeah, I like spears.

-And I like spears.

I love spears!

So they would have used that, they put a grip on that,

so that would have been used as a weapon.

-Used by a witch doctor probably.

-Do you think so? A witch doctor? Blimey!

I quite like this sort of stuff.

-What we've found is something of a different world, isn't it?

-Yeah.

So African...I think it's very definitely African,

rather than sort of Polynesian or anything like that.

-And this does seem to sell quite well, doesn't it?

-It does.

And any country that had an empire loves this sort of stuff. And it's very decorative, isn't it?

I quite like it because I've just come back from Namibia.

-So you immediately identified this as...?

-Yes.

-I think it's oryx horn, isn't it?

-Oryx horn. I think it's oryx.

African artefacts are sought-after items at auction and Chris is asking for £100 for the four

which has got our chef, or is that our chief, all fired up.

-Look at that!

-Look at that! Are you thinking, in for a penny, in for a pound?

For 100, we get all four.

The generosity knows no bounds!

You could argue that was witch doctor stuff, couldn't you? It looks just like it.

Oh, yes! Witch doctors making magic potions with spices and herbs!

Or is that a chef?

I always get them mixed up.

-There's a lot of speculation in this, Phil, isn't there?

-Mmm.

I quite like that. Whether it'd sell a lot, I don't know.

The boys aren't yet convinced, but Chris, keen to make the sale,

thinks he can reel them in with another tribal treat.

-Ah, it's a fishing one.

-That's a fishing one, is it?

-Oh, with the barbs?

-Yeah. I see what you mean, Chris.

-And these holes at the top...

-Where the gut goes through, isn't it?

-Where your gut would have gone through.

-So if it swims off, you're not going to...

-Yeah.

-Go on, throw that in!

-No. 120.

-120?

-Yeah.

-You sure?

Oh, he's sure, James! But that's over a quarter of your budget, so there a lot at stake...

so to speak...medium rare.

I've got to beat my wife, I have to beat my wife!

Well, don't use any of that.

I thought I'd use that club!

Metaphorically speaking, of course, Phil!

-Phil, happy with it?

-Very.

-I like it.

-That's great.

-Top man. Thank you very much.

-I always like to see smiling faces!

-Yeah.

They took the bait and have landed their first deal.

£120 for a mixture of tribal weapons and tools.

Our other odd couple are around here somewhere.

I wonder what's taking their fancy?

Oh, gosh! That's weird, isn't it?

-It's a dinner gong.

-Oh, is it?

-I was going to...

-That's what it is.

-I feel more like Hi-De-Hi!

-PLONKITY-PLONK

-Morning, campers!

-Morning, campers!

Hi-De-Hi, campers!

I just think they're great fun.

Because they're for the patio...

-It's very...

-And it would be lovely if you were sort of sitting out having a glass of wine...

-Yeah...

-Having picked the grapes.

-Do you not think you'd have a cold bottom, though?

Well, not if it was summer time.

-Or do you hate it?

-I'm not as enamoured by it.

I think somebody brought that back from a holiday in Rimini in 1973.

-You're very opinionated sometimes, aren't you?

-Yes.

-Shall we go inside?

-You love it!

-I do! I love being taken in charge!

Oh, you old devil!

Mark and Fern see their opportunity to grab Chris. They want to rummage in his smalls, so to speak,

so he's taking them to his office, the sanctum where he keeps his special stash.

What's that winged thing over there? Can I go behind your desk?

The winged thing is a quirky bronze cast of an owl...too-wit!

-Oh, I like that.

-Oh!

Well, you see, I think he's rather fun. Owls can be quite collectable. How much is that, Chris?

-225.

-Oh, come on, Chris!

You've just got such good taste, Mark.

I know I've got good taste, and you've got optimistic expectations!

he's never one to mince his words, is he?

Chris's office is like an Aladdin's Cave of curiosities and Mark's spotted another little beauty.

Oh, Fern, look at that.

-Oh!

-And it's got "Model of nurse and wounded Tommy".

-First World War,

-so she's a VAD.

-And what is that? Wellington in Somerset.

-Oh!

I love the way he's looking so stoical, with his hat still on!

-But his leg's mortally wounded!

-Yes.

The glazed porcelain model of a nurse and injured soldier is referred to as crestware

as it bears the coat of arms from the town where it was sold.

Crestware was normally modelled on Roman and Greek pots, which makes this a rare item.

What is your very best on that, Chris?

The minimum has got to be 80.

When you said minimum 80, what did you really mean?

-It's got to be a minimum of £80.

-Oh?

Oh? I'm glad we cleared that up!

But if we bought the two, could you not do something for us?

No.

Someone got out of bed the wrong side this morning!

Thick-skinned Mr Stacey is taking it in his stride, though,

and has just uncovered another growler.

-That is a bear.

-Yeah, Black Forest.

-Which I think is quite fun.

-Isn't he lovely?

-It's quite a sweet, sentimental little thing.

-I love teddies.

These tourist Swiss wood carvings had their heyday in the 19th century,

but were still being made into the early 20th century.

What kind of price has Chris got on it?

-40.

-40?

-He is lovely.

-And he's perfect, really.

-Well, he's got a little chip on his paw.

-I love him.

-Yes, he has got a chip on his paw.

-Yeah. That's why it's only 40.

LAUGHTER

-You are good!

-I love the fact... Very smooth!

-I love it! I love it! You are good.

But not good enough to seal the deal just yet.

While Mark and Fern consider their options, smooth operator Chris has been summoned by the opposing team.

-Phil spotted this lovely bench.

-Yes.

Which just has a lovely naive charm to it, doesn't it?

You'll never get that in the car, chaps!

It's got great age, it's got a great look to it, hasn't it?

It is beautiful. But would we get a return on our money?

Phil has Michelin-starred taste.

The 19th-century ash bench is another pricey item

with a shopping ticket price of £225.

But is Chris ready to give a discount?

Doesn't look like it.

I could wound me a little bit, say 200.

What about 150, Chris?

I said "wound me a little bit".

-No, I want to get you on the floor...

-I'm going to be going out of here a broken man!

Look, no violence, chaps! All that earlier spear-handling and goring has quite gone to their heads!

-It's charming.

-160.

That is it.

Phil, what do you think?

I love it.

-I love it.

-Well, that's that, then!

Big and bold, 150, do you think?

You've had the price.

I...just suddenly I got that look from Chris where I knew I was slightly overstepping the mark!

Yeah!

And this is where you smile and retreat gracefully.

-It's a lovely item.

-It is.

-Go on, shake his hand!

-Cheers, Chris! Thank you so much.

-Really kind.

That's really kind.

And with that they've blown £280 of their £400 budget

on a beautiful bench and some African artefacts,

narrowly avoiding the wrath of Chris.

So leg it, boys!

-That was very successful.

-It was good, wasn't it?

-Very successful.

-So what happens now?

-I don't know. How does this car run?

-This is actually quite nice, actually.

-Is it?

It's much better than that thing.

-I think you should take it.

-Shall we?

-Give it a try?

-Yeah!

Give it a go! Let's go! Come on!

Whatever happened to ladies first?

-Fern, Fern likes cares, doesn't she?

-She loves her cars.

-She loves her cars!

-But she won't be very happy if we nick this one!

-Excellent! Let's get in!

We can't let unchivalrous chaps commit grand theft auto!

Inside a little birdie tells me Mark may have found something special.

Fern, I mean, look.

-Am I mad?

-Yeah!

I think so.

It's one funky chicken!

It's a seesaw head from the 1950s with a ticket price of £75.

Can I get my bottom on it?

Oh!

-That's me.

-Are you all right?

-I won't be able to get up again.

-Oh, no!

-Right, just calm down.

-Well, I can go and buy the owl, then!

Shortly after a delicate dismount that no-one needs to see.

-It doesn't do it for me!

-Oh...

Sorry. What would you do with it? Where would you put it?

Gosh, there's lot of people who buy these sort of stuff...

Youngsters buy them for their apartments.

Really, Grandpa?

-Now, I know you're a winner and I know you're fabulous and wonderful and I adore you...

-Oh!

-Can you say it again?

-You're fabulous and wonderful and I adore you...

Oh, don't encourage him!

-But you've got to be sensible.

-I think you might have to be.

-But...

-What?

I think it we could get this at the right price, it's a safer bet than the owl.

Shall we try?

-Now you're talking, Phil.

-It is quirky.

-Come on, let's do it.

-Let's grab him.

-Come on!

-Oh!

LAUGHTER

Finally, they've decided on the crested ware piece and the Black Forest bear

which have a combined price of £120.

And the chook is £75, but what will Chris take for all three pieces?

-So if I did that for 30...

-150 for the three?

-Yeah.

-You've got to be...

-I think we've got to say that, haven't we?

-Thank you, because that's lovely.

-You're a good sport.

-We've got three corking lots.

After much debate they've wrapped up three very interesting items of swag for auction

costing them £150 of their £400 budget.

-We've still got £250 left.

-Gosh!

-Whoa! Don't go!

get going while you still have the money to spend! Quick!

Where's our car?

-It looks like we've got the Beetle!

-Ah!

-Cos the boys have stolen...

-I bet they thought we wanted the Spider,

-but actually I'm happy with the Beetle.

-I'm much happier.

-Good!

-Shall we just...?

-Shall we shove him in the back seat?

-OK.

This could be fun.

Here we go!

Perfect!

James, Phil and the stolen Spider are hustling 17 miles southeast

on their way to a picturesque little village called Otterton,

giving them plenty of time to bond over their love of fine food.

-Where did you start?

-I found a job in the Lake District which I loved, and I stayed there five years.

And that really got me into the food and fresh chickens and fresh fish...

Did that for a few years. Got very fed up then,

-and I got a job in Sussex at a place called Gravetye Manor.

-I know Gravetye.

-We had out honeymoon night at Gravetye.

-When? When was that?

-That would be 1986.

-I was there then.

-I was a sous-chef.

-Mr... what was his name?

-Peter Herbert.

-Peter Herbert, yeah.

-In 1986...

-Yeah.

-..I was the sous-chef there.

Yes, well, we would have had your excellent cooking... We stayed there for two days.

-Did you?

-I sulked when I got to Skiathos because the food wasn't as good.

LAUGHTER I might have cooked you a meal!

Quite the bromance developing between these two!

As a passionate foodie,

Phil understands the importance of knowing where his raw ingredients come from,

so he should love the next stop.

At Otterton Mill they've been producing flour for the community and surrounding area

using the same traditional process for nearly 1,000 years.

Here's our man!

But miller Brian is taking a break from the daily grind to show them how it all works.

I am indeed. I'm Brian, I'm the head miller here.

-The head miller.

-Welcome to Otterton Mill.

The earliest record of the mill is from the Domesday Book of 1068

which confirmed it as one of the most productive of 70 mills in Devon.

1,000 years later, Otterton Mill is one of only a few watermills left in the area

that preserves the traditional process in a working museum and bakery. Perfect!

What a beautiful place!

What a lovely... Very good for the soul, isn't it, Brian, this river?

Running water is always extremely peaceful, isn't it?

-It is peaceful, I agree.

-Don't ask me why, but it is.

Makes you want to go to the loo, though.

Although the mill has been restored over the years,

the waterwheels that are still in use date back to 1827 and are powered by the River Otter.

Brian, are you going to give it some juice? Let's see some power.

If we open this sluice now, we should be able to get the waterwheel to turn.

-Look at that!

-Straightaway! It's on!

-That is amazing!

-It's is, isn't it?

Otterton's most famous miller is John Uglow,

milling here from 1843 to 1864.

With his unique French burr stones he ground flour so fine it was delivered as far afield as Plymouth.

25kg bags of wheat are hoisted upstairs to be poured into the hopper.

Brian's roped in Phil to give him a hand.

Stand by!

The bag going up.

Thank you, Gerry.

25kg!

In it goes...

Come on!

When I first started work, I started work on the farm

and the bags of wheat then were two and a quarter hundredweights,

and we used to carry them on our backs.

-That's 250 lbs?

-That was quick for a fellow of your age!

Thank you very much.

-250 lbs? On your back?

-Yes.

-Really?

-Yes.

Are you ready to start? We're ready up here!

-Yeah, I'm ready.

-OK.

After Gerry opens and closes a combination of water sluices,

the water flow is enough to get the big wheel turning.

And the wheel will very shortly start.

-Hey presto!

-As if by magic!

The wheat flows through the top millstone which revolves against the stationary bottom millstone,

grinding the grain into flour.

Can they get too hot, the stones?

When we've milled for about an hour, the flour gets pleasantly warm.

When you taste our flour in a minute, you'll find that it's delightful.

Originally around 25 farms in the local area used this mill,

paying the miller to grind their grain into stock feed

or selling it to the miller to grind for the baker.

Here you are, gentlemen.

Feel the texture of it and then taste the flavour of it.

Take a decent pinch of it and you will get the full flavour of it!

-Very good, isn't it?

-And also it's a beautiful colour.

A lovely colour. This sort of flour, I would use for a sourdough

or mix it with kibbled weeds or... to get almost a more rustic loaf.

What's a sourdough, then?

In the air, there's yeast flying around now.

Wherever you are yeast is there,

and what you do is get your natural yeast in the air, mix this flour with water,

cover it in Clingfilm and leave it in a warm place, airing cupboard,

and the natural yeast will ferment.

Mix it up, warm place, warm place, and over a period of time,

you'll get a bucket as big as you want.

Half of that it then taken out, you make your bread as your leaven,

which is your yeast, you feed it, and the next day you use it again and again and again,

so it just keeps growing.

-A friend of mine had one 15 years!

-So you can make bread every day and just keep it going.

-For months and months...

-It's very sad, but I did a lot of work on it.

And it's time to put Phil's expertise to the test,

as Otterton has its very own bakery next door.

So this it? This is where it all happens?

Yeah, this is where all the magic happens.

Zac the baker has invited the chaps in for a bread-making masterclass,

not that James needs it, of course!

Mine looks jolly good!

Slightly worried about yours, Phil!

Looks OK to me, James!

Yours, on the other hand...

Yeuch!

Can I pop mine in the tin before I actually...?

Nobody will notice.

Nice work, James!

The master!

The master!

That's more like it!

This is a few loaves that were baked literally about ten minutes ago.

Oh, rock on!

Look at that! Just perfect!

-Oh, a lovely, warm...

-With that crust and that...

With butter!

-Cuts really well...

-It must be a top bench.

Very nice.

-Nice sweet edge to it.

-Lovely!

-Why should it be nutty, then?

-There's nowt taken out, love!

Nowt taken out! It's all in the nowt!

Now, wash your hands!

So as Otterton's mill's big wheels keep on turning, so do ours,

and Phil and James are back on the road, as are Mark and Fern,

who have beetled their way from Hele 13 miles south to another little village called Woodbury,

just on the outskirts of Exeter.

Well, I'm rather worried, you know, because Phillip and James seems to be hitting it off...

-He said we've got the same sort of taste, we're going with the same sort of thing.

-That's good.

-Phil likes anything to do with fishing and shooting and that kind of country pursuit...

-Ooh.

-It's not everyone's cup of tea.

-It isn't.

Whereas chicken-shaped seesaw heads. of course, are all the rage!

Next stop, Woodbury Antiques, AKA Rock Pie Antiques.

And just in time because Fern is suffering from a common problem associated with the VW.

Excuse me, I've just got a little bit of Beetle bottom!

Beetle bottom?

A twinkling cabinet of the shiny stuff has lured them in for a closer look.

There's a silver teething ring there as well.

-The one at the back is a marriage.

-Is it a...? I know! I know!

-I know!

-I just threw that one in!

-You slipped that bit of knowledge in there, didn't you?

-I know.

Crikey! A marriage is a term used in the trade meaning two separate items joined together.

So Fern's been doing her homework!

-I tell you what! You have been watching these shows!

-Told you!

Do you know what? I'm going. You don't need me.

-No, please, come back.

-OK.

Step aside, Mr Stacey. There's a new kid in town and she's come prepared.

Well, if only we had a glass to look to see if there was a mark.

-I just might have...

-Please, don't say you've got one on you!

I wouldn't have expected anything less!

Now, I haven't a clue what I'm looking at, but I'm looking good doing it.

Yeah, Mark's been getting away with that for years!

What am I doing here? I don't know.

Beats me!

He taught me everything I know.

The mind boggles!

Having inspected the silver and found it wanting, it's time to browse forth

and there's an unusual little piece up ahead.

-Oh, maybe it's like that...

-Oh, I see.

And then you put the books in and that pressures...

It's quite odd. Arts & Crafts.

-Oh, hello!

-Hello!

See? The minute he says Arts & Crafts, he's excited.

-No, I'm not actually excited.

-No, I'm not saying that, you just mentioned it.

They're like a pair of old ladies, these two!

-That is unusual, Fern. I've never seen anything like it.

-No.

And even when it's not got books in it, it's rather sculptural.

So you could have it just as a talking point.

To put your latest Virginia Woolf in there.

-Do you write at all?

-Yes.

-Or your latest Fern Britton!

I happen to be number 4 in the Sunday Times bestseller list at the moment!

-Or your latest Phil Vickery cook book?

-Ah! Actually...

-His and hers.

He's got more than I have, he has.

Aw, novelist, queen of daytime, ballroom dancer and now what about master negotiator?

Where's Jenny the shopkeeper? It's time to make an offer on the book holder.

-We want to have a little chat about this...

-Little springy thing.

-It is a bookcase, isn't it?

-It is, yes.

-£22 you've got on here, Jane.

-I have, indeed.

We wouldn't be so rude as to ask what you paid for it,

-but what do you think we could pay for it, cash?

-Have you got any ideas?

Yes, but you're not going to like it!

This is cheeky...

10?

That's very cheeky, but you read my mind.

-She's telepathic too!

-How about something more round about 16?

16?

£12?

-She's not giving up.

-Well, that's quite a nice number, isn't it?

-It's a lovely number!

-It's a round figure.

-I think you could tempt me at 12.

Thank you, darling. I'm really thrilled with that.

£12 for the lady, please. I'm not allowed to carry money. I'm like the Queen.

Perhaps, but the Queen doesn't have one of those fetching bumbags to keep it in either.

Another oddity stashed for auction. Hurrah!

With their car boots bulging with booty, it's been a great day's shopping all round.

Time to turn in for the evening.

Night-night, y'all.

Behold a brand-new day with plunder to purchase.

And there's nothing that gets you going more than life on the open road with the wind in your hair!

-Oh, lovely smell of petrol there.

-Yes.

We bought two items yesterday, almost all our budget.

-Seriously? I don't believe you.

-Yeah.

When I phoned home last night, one of the girls said to me,

"Did Dad buy anything like a weapon?"

-A weapon?

-She knows you.

Daddy's little girl was right!

The likely lads splurged £280 of some African weapons and tools

and an ash bench on which to perch.

They're £120 left to go wild with today.

-Happy with it?

-Very.

-I like it.

Whereas this terrible twosome have spent £162 on the Black Forest bear,

the nurse and injured soldier,

the chook and an expanding book holder, leaving them £238 to splash before auction.

Oops!

The weather's still with us. I'm getting on really well with her.

-Are you?

-Yeah, she's lovely, actually.

-He's a very naughty boy.

-He's a very naughty boy.

And he makes me laugh!

-And we did all right.

-You know what James reminds me of?

-He reminds me of a small child who doesn't pay attention...

-Does he really?

Yeah, but looks like Jack Nicholson!

Crikey! He's right!

I think I'm going to call him Jack now...he's so sort of... like Jack and James.

I nearly did yesterday!

Here's Johnny! I mean, Jack...

no, James.

-Look at this.

-A lovely beech wood.

-It is lovely.

-Beech has a lovely light, doesn't it?

The fortune hunters are taking their race for riches

30 miles south to the busy fishing town of Brixham.

-Whey!

-Well done!

How did the Beetle beat this mean machine, then?

-I've no idea!

-I haven't got a clue. We haven't got a sat nav.

What we need's an ice cream.

-Right, let's go. The shops are this way.

-Are you off?

Goodbye.

Quick! Before they get everything!

Looks like Fern and Mark are hitting it off too.

It makes you feel all warm inside! Well, maybe...

Brixham once had Britain's largest fishing fleet

and was the birthplace of the famous Brixham trawler.

It's still a busy harbour today where pleasure-seekers come to see the replica

of Sir Francis Drake's ship the Golden Hind.

But there's no time for sightseeing on this trip.

So here we are. "If I'm closed and you see anything, just leave a note," or ring!

Come on, you lazy lump! Get out of bed!

Peter, it's James Braxton from the Antiques Road Trip.

We're anxious, Phil Vickery and I, anxious to get in your shop. Bye.

Well, Phil, there we are. That's a good start to the day.

That's unlucky, lads, especially as you've got quite a lot of shopping still to do.

Hoping to bust their budget on one final piece of precious plunder,

Mark and Fern have already arrived at just the shop.

Well, this looks like our shop.

Owner Caroline's ready and waiting for the onslaught.

-Good morning.

-Hello, I'm Fern. How do you do?

-Caroline.

-Caroline? Caroline, here's Mark.

-Pleased to meet you.

-Nice to meet you.

-Are you feeling in a generous mood towards us?

-Oh, I'm sure I can be.

-As long as you don't upset me.

-Ooh!

-Ooh!

-Fern, don't upset her.

-No, I won't.

-I was thinking more of Mark than Fern!

-Exactly!

Ah, she's seen your work, Mark!

Mark's obsession with owls continues.

It could possibly be 500 years old but I don't think it is somehow, do you?

Well, it says 1567.

-1567...that's 7 minutes past 4.

-Yes.

-No, it's got all this...

Keep up, Fern! Of course, had it been that sort of date, we'd be talking tens of thousands.

-It would be marvellous, wouldn't it?

-There's no price on it, it could be free.

I just think it's charming.

-There is a bit of charm there.

-Look at those lovely eyes. It's like James Braxton after a red wine.

That's like James Braxton before a red wine! Speaking of which...

Peter's been on and he's going to be an hour.

So the boys are having to find other ways to entertain themselves.

I need an ice cream.

- Hello! - Hi.

- Look at the ice cream! - It's over here.

I say! This is more fun than antiques shopping! I'll have a ripple!

When I was a kid, my grandma used to give us these.

All right? And we sued to get an old bottle, put that in the bottle, put warm water on it,

and that was our drink.

-LAUGHTER We used to call it grog.

-Grog.

There you go!

Sounds revolting!

Thank you.

-Mmm! Very good, isn't it?

-I wonder if Peter's arrived yet?

Bad news. There's a queue forming outside the shop.

-Are you after Peter?

-Yeah.

Even the dog's after Peter.

He better get a move on! Stop dribbling, you!

Meanwhile, just nearby...

-It's a bird.

-I thought it was...

-Trying to get in.

-Trying to get in. What is that?

It's a cockatoo. It's trying to get out. It's locked in, it's all right. You'll be fine.

-Does he bite, then?

-Well, he would you, cos he doesn't know you.

Well, he might because he does!

At least these two are in a shop, albeit with an angry old bird.

James and Phil are still hanging about outside, though.

-12.30 now.

-is it? When did we come here? 9. 30.

-He said an hour, didn't he?

Yeah. Well, that's Devon for you, isn't it?

It's a slower pace of life.

-I'll tell you what, we'll give him half an hour.

-We'll give him half an hour.

-Then we'll have lunch.

-Then we'll have lunch.

-Then we'll just go home.

Don't give up hope, boys! There's still time.

They've almost drawn a blank in this little shop, but Mark's still eyeing up that bird...

no, the owl!

I like the fact it's handmade.

Yes.

-And the lovely colour, slipware.

-It's quite an appealing thing.

-Thank you. Oh, you meant the jug?

-No, the owl.

You don't like it at all?

It could be very interesting,

and I think people think it's interesting not necessarily because it's nice,

but because people thinks it's a famous one that went for hundreds of thousands.

-Which was Ollie the owl.

-Ollie the owl.

It was Ozzy the Owl, actually.

The Staffordshire slipware jug valued at £20,000, although this is no Ozzy.

Mark knows how collectable owls can be, so he might be on to something.

I just think he's got something quirky about him.

-If the price...

-Is right.

-If it was, say, £5...

I'd like...I'd go 20.

-Oh, no!

-Now, you see...

-you understand that's not going to get us anywhere.

-We're a pair of wise old owls,

-and we're not paying 20, are we?

-Can't.

-I might go to 5.50.

-Oh!

-I mean, look at the damage.

You come up a bit and I'll drop down a bit.

Well, I think...you see, if it is £5 or £6,

-then we're going to get a little bit of profit in it, aren't we?

-Yes, we are.

-If it's £20, I don't think we will.

-We're not.

-We'll shake on that, I think.

-On what?

-6.50.

Oh! 6.50!

-Did you see that one coming?

-She nearly got me then!

-That hand...

-Look at it, it went straight down to me side.

Do you know, I've never seen anybody move so quick. Honestly!

-6. Go on, then. 6.

-Yes?

-Are you sure?

-Yes.

-Go for it. Hand it over.

-I'm really pleased, honestly. Thank you so much.

-Thank you.

Well, you can't argue with that, can you?

They'0re fully stocked up on items to trade at auction

and they've only spent £168 of their £400 budget.

What a prudent pair!

They're tired, they're weary, but is their luck about to change?

Brixham Junk is their final hope for glory.

This is the moment they've been waiting for.

-MUSIC: "Star Wars"

-Behold! Peter!

Does he hold the key to their success?

-RECORD STOPS

-I doubt it!

It's all happening here, isn't it, Peter?

-So are we allowed to have a rummage?

-Of course.

It's all 50 pence each, any five bits for a pound.

-So the prices factor isn't very difficult to understand.

-OK.

How do you know what you've got, Peter?

It comes in every day and goes out every day.

I sold loads this morning, I sell loads of stuff every day.

Busier than Tesco in here. It's mental. You couldn't make it up how busy it is.

I swapped a motorbike for a pair of speakers yesterday.

It's like Aladdin's Cave!

If Aladdin owned a jumble sale!

-This is where you find a bargain, isn't it?

-It is. It really is.

-I don't think he knows what he's got.

-No, hasn't a clue.

Brixham Junk is one of the busiest shops in town and for good reason.

Goods of all types go in and out at a furious rate at knockdown prices.

There's something for everyone if you know what you're looking for.

-I got these this morning, gentlemen. This is just a tenner.

-A tenner? What is this, then?

-Silver coins.

-Silver coins?

-Full set. Must be worth a tenner.

-Look at that! Look at that!

-There's one missing.

-No, it's a full set.

-Look at that!

-And they're silver?

-They're definitely silver.

-Tenner?

-It's got to be a have.

-Got to be.

-Peter, we'll take that one.

-Thank you.

-It's a good start.

-Top man!

These coins are to commemorate the 80th birthday of the Queen Mother, and are very collectable.

So that set could be a tasty little earner for them.

That's all right, sir, breakages don't have to be paid for in here!

There's even a sign up there, see?

This is a truly unique experience.

Peter likes the bulk-buy approach, selling off his treats a box at a time,

so the lads are loading up.

These two. Look at these.

Go on, throw them over!

Here you go.

It's heavy!

Oh! Ow!

-You all right?

-Yeah.

-Watch that ball.

-Look at that!

Peter can't believe his luck.

That's quite nice. That's a Victorian sugar box.

So pre-1894.

And we've got pressed glass here...

we've got a rather mixed box, but we've got a silver dedication there.

-We should really get a good return on this.

-We should get a good return.

-But the great thing about this, Phil, is Mark's going to go absolutely mental.

-Why?

I doubt it!

Because he'll think it's some sort of infringement or something or slightly unfair.

And no...the real reason is that he can see a thumping profit in it.

Well, this has been the ultimate forage for fortunes and I'm not sure they've found any,

but they're ready to deal and Peter, of course, was born ready.

-How much do you want to give me for it?

-I don't know, Peter.

-As little... Well, not as little as possible...we want to be fair.

-As little as possible, go on.

Say a price.

-What, £2?

-I've just had a heart attack.

-He's..

-The man was expecting a pound.

-A fiver.

I'd be delighted with a fiver.

I think Peter's just glad to be rid of it.

But before they can make their getaway,

he's got a couple of beauties he's been keeping up his sleeve.

A stylish pair of stepladders. Oh, God!

-These were in Vogue magazine, gentlemen.

-These ones?

-They make them into bookcases.

-No, they don't.

-How do they make them into bookcases, then, Peter?

-What do you do?

-I haven't got a clue, have I?

-Do you mean they open them up and then they put...?

-Very fashionable, very, very fashionable.

They're stepladders!

And you don't use them as stepladders, then?

-No, of course you don't! That would be silly, wouldn't it?

-Really?

Ridiculous!

So £20 for the pair?

-20?

-£20, that's a bit...

-How about 10?

-What, for the pair?

-Yeah.

-Nice pitch pine.

-A tenner would be very fair for the pair.

-Would it?

Seriously, chaps, this isn't happening, is it?

I would not really expect to walk away with a couple of stepladders...

-But we only paid a tenner, they're a fiver each.

-Fiver each.

-We've got to make something there.

-Even the steps have got to be worth a fiver each!

Well, it's a good bit of kindling, isn't it?

Dear, oh, dear! James and Phil's shopping trip ends at the Brixham Junk Shop

where they've bought a set of silver coins, an assorted box of ornaments, and some ladders.

-Oh, blimey O'Reilley!

-I'm worn out.

-I'm worn out.

I need some lunch.

Blissfully unaware of the eventful morning, Fern and Mark are having their own ice cream

while getting to know each other a little better.

Of all the people you've interviewed, is there someone that stuck in your mind that you thought,

"That was wonderful!"?

-Yes, Desmond Tutu.

-Oh!

-He was funny, he was warm, he's an angel on earth!

-He is.

-Unbelievable.

I was allowed to go into his room where he had all his archives, all his passports,

all his doctorates, his Nobel Peace Prize, everything.

And I turned round and there he was, "Would you like a Ferrero Rocher?"

I mean, really just gorgeous!

I would have been tempted to say, "Monsieur Ambassador!"

I nearly did!

When it comes to lady writers with a yarn to spin, Fern's in excellent company,

as just west of Brixham is the holiday home of crime queen Agatha Christie.

MUSIC: "Murder She Wrote" Theme

She created iconic sleuths Hercule Poirot and Miss Marple

and her 66 detective novels have sold around four billion copies worldwide.

House steward Lucinda Heron's here to meet them.

-we're so pleased.

-We're so excited, aren't we?

-We're so excited.

-We've been really waiting.

-It's been murder waiting to come, hasn't it?

Fern's latest novel is called The Holiday Home,

sp where better to come for a shot of inspiration than Greenway House,

where Agatha, her husband Max and their daughter spent their holidays?

-Oh, there's a lovely feel, isn't there?

-Wow!

-It's like a real home, isn't it?

-Exactly!

The house was taken over by the National Trust

and has been restored exactly as Agatha and her family left it,

decor, furniture, collections, the lot.

I've noticed something rather dangerous lurking over there. What is that?

-It's a box of homeopathic remedies.

-Oh, yeah.

Agatha was trained to be a dispensing chemist.

-She worked at that in the First World War and the Second World War.

-Wow!

And this obviously belonged to her.

And they're well and truly tied down because some of the little vials have still got liquid in the bottom,

so we wouldn't want the visitors getting hold of them.

And there's one, if you look over here, there's hyoscine,

and the obviously used that as a poison in one of her stories, so...

-Oh! So that's how she knew about the poisons?

-She could have poisoned you.

She knew exactly what she was doing.

Agatha's unique brand of whodunit murder mysteries has been adapted for film and TV many times over,

and Poirot and Marple made all the more memorable who portrayed them.

Are you a Poirot or a Marple?

-Well, I like both of them, to be honest.

-You see, I'm a Marple person.

-You like Marple?

-Who's your favourite Miss Marple?

-Without a shadow of a doubt, Margaret Rutherford.

-Yeah.

-It's just that tune...

-HE HUMS THE THEME TUNE

-And she used to walk with her bosoms forward!

-Yes, absolutely,

-But very British stuff and nonsense, stoic.

-Yes.

You know, what ever you throw at me, best foot forward!

During the Second World War, Greenway House was a home for evacuated children

before being requisitioned by the US Navy.

-Oh, I love this,

-It is beautiful.

The library shows a frieze of US Coast Guard Flotilla 10's personal story,

painted by Lieutenant Marshall Lee which Agatha kept when the house was finally returned to her.

It really feels like she's just got up and put the kettle on in another room.

Right to the fact that she left her chocolates on the table.

-Oh, look at that!

-Dame Agatha, thank you!

Hands off, Mark!

Agatha set three novels at Greenway House,

and when you enter the drawing room it's easy to see where she drew her inspiration from.

This is where she would have Poirot make sure that everybody understood why they were gathered together.

-Oh, yes.

-That's right, yes.

To discover who the murderer is.

"Mr Poirot, you're imagination's running wild!"

-Exactly, as they reach into their handbag to pull out a small pistol.

-That's right.

-This is the room where apparently she would try her stories out on her house guests...

-No!

..For the very first time, and she'd be sitting in this chair here.

Se would sit and try her stories out and see what everybody thought before they were published.

And apparently Max, her husband, would doze off and then he would wake up and tell everyone who'd done it.

Road Trip's very own budding detectives have had a short glimpse into the life of Agatha Christie,

but it's time to get going.

-We must say goodbye because we have a mystery of our own to solve.

-Oh, right?

-We do.

-Well, good luck.

The mystery of who's going to win.

We'll find out whodunit later.

First it's time to look at each other's finds.

Greenway has its very own quay on the River Dart where the grand unveiling is about to take place.

OK, ready, 1, 2, 3.

-Look at that!

-Wow!

-Treasures all!

-Wow!

Phil's lost for words. Wow!

-Isn't that wonderful?

-He's fun, isn't he?

-He's great fun.

-Is it a he?

-I think so, because he's got...

No, it's not, it's a chicken. Because look it's got the crown and the liverage.

-Yes. Price?

-£30.

-Could we get £30 back for it?

-And a little bit more, I think.

And then our major bit is the little crested figure here

-of a nurse attending an injured Tommy.

-Yeah.

-In the war.

And it's actually a very rare Arcadian model.

And how much did you buy it for?

-We bought it for 90.

-That's all right.

-No!

-80.

-We bought it for 80.

-80?

-Wow!

-But that should be worth £150-200 next week.

-Yeah.

-Our little duck was from today.

-It's an owl.

-Did I say duck?

-You did, darling.

-Do you know, I don't know my birds any more.

-No, you don't.

-It's very damaged.

-This is an owl. He is very damaged and he is an a poor state.

-He is 1655.

-As it says on the front.

-1567, it was made.

-Is it not 19...what was it?

-1567.

-It's 1957.

No, 1567 it was made. It's got the date on it.

-Must be right!

-We know it's very poor quality, we know it's got chips...

-It's not poor quality!

-But the charm here...

-The charm is wonderful.

Do you know what? I love this!

-I love them.

-He's being horrible, isn't he?

-I love them!

People in glasshouses shouldn't throw stones.

One, two, three...

-Ooh!

-Those are good lots for a Somerset sale, actually.

That bench is gorgeous.

Now, we absolutely love that bench.

Underneath is the bark still and it's been used, it's wonderful.

-It's lovely. It's got a lovely grain.

-Yeah, we love that.

I love that, and I love that simple...

-It just goes on.

-That technique, to put the legs in, it's really lovely.

We sat on it and we felt it and thought this is fantastic.

What did you pay for it?

Have a guess.

200.

-Very good. 160.

-160.

It's a nice thing. And it's a good item for a ...

It's a punt. Then...

the artefacts, I just love. That was a fishing spear and you can see where the holes were.

African tribal.

Lovely, absolutely.

-I think they're the Ndonga tribe from South Africa.

-Yeah.

Anyway...

What do you think of our ladders?

Well, there's a pair.

It just demonstrates the level of what we were working with!

-Really?

-But for a fiver each, we thought.

-I love them.

-I love them. If somebody wants a ladder for a fiver...

-I think they're fab!

And I think they're perfect for that sale, honestly.

Those should make, I think, at least 12.

That much?

Behind you. Just stand up, please.

-Oh!

-Oh, God!

Oh, my goodness! One big box of stuff.

It's all individual rubbish!

-24-carat gold...

-Damaged, chipped...

but that's about the best we could do there.

Well, you did very well.

-And we paid for that...was it 5?

-£5.

-OK.

-Well done, boys!

-Well done. Great.

-Brilliant.

-Very good.

-Good luck at auction.

-See you there.

Neither team seems too impressed, so this should be interesting.

It's time to spill the beans.

I think that went really well.

I don't honestly think the other items they bought are that great.

I don't understand spears and African art.

-They paid a lot for those, £120.

-They did.

-It's quite a lot.

That green thing, even though it's damaged...

-The green vase...

-It's great looking, but it's damaged...

-That's not going to make £100?

-No.

-No.

-Whoever wins, I don't care!

-No.

-We've had such a laugh.

-Really, really good fun.

Tell you what, I feel a bit sorry for them!

Now, now, Mr Vickery! The proof of the pudding is in the eating as you very well know.

The auction is in the South Somerset town of Crewkerne which grew up around the textile industry.

They used to make sails for the Royal Navy here.

-If you win, I will make you a cup of tea in the morning.

-Yeah.

-For a week.

-A week?

Yeah. That's plenty.

So if you win, I will cook you your favourite supper, whatever you want, for seven days.

OK. Shake.

I can't help thinking Fern's got the better end of this deal!

Lawrence's Auction in Crewkerne specialises in fine art, collectables and sporting sales,

and the expert team there have a combined experience of over 200 years. Wow!

-Morning, boys!

-Morning.

The sun is out, gentlemen!

You're looking good.

The hero with the hammer at the helm of today's sale is Richard Kay

who has his own thoughts on our lots.

There are some interesting pieces, some that might struggle a little bit more.

There is a very unusual item which is a metal cast head of a cockerel

such as one might find on a playground seesaw.

Of rather limited appeal, but I daresay to somebody who's got the other end of the seesaw,

it could be worth £50 0r £60.

There is a quite a nice piece of good honest country furniture which is the long ash bench,

perfect for a farmhouse kitchen. There are plenty of those within 20 miles of where we're standing now.

So that we hope will be worth between £80-120.

Nifty thrifty duo Fern and Mark only spend £168 of their starting £400 to buy five lots for auction.

He taught me everything I know.

Whereas Phil and James forked out £305 of their £400, also amassing five lots.

Well, it's a good bit of kindling, isn't it?

The clash of the treasure-seeking titans is about to commence.

Here we go! Shh!

Ssh! Oh, sorry, Fern.

First up is her and Mark's Black Forest bear.

Will it do a roaring trade?

Small Black Forest bear model seated there. £10 for it?

£10 is bid. Opening bid at 10. 12 now.

You bidding? 15.

£15. It's near me. It's nearer me,. Lady's bid at £15.

-18.

-Yes!

-At 18.

Gosh! That's a beautiful bear! That's absolutely lovely...

-Sorry, sorry. What a fabulous bear.

-£18. 20.

Are you together? No. 20 now. Gentleman's bid at 20.

At £20, and I'm selling.

Oh!

-You've got an extra £2.

-What was the loss on that one?

Don't ask, Phil!

Despite Fern's efforts, the little bear makes a big loss.

I prefer to be going upwards rather than down.

Phil and James are hoping for an out-of-this-world price

for their African artefacts.

£20 for them all. £20 is bid. 25. 30.

-35.

-Oh!

-40. 45. 50. 55. 60.

65. 70. 75. 75!

Gentleman's bid at 75 and I'm selling now at £75. All done at 75?

Oh, dear!

I tell you, that was creeping up then.

Not creeping enough though!

Another crashing loss. A bad start for both teams.

I'm not gloating. I never gloat. It's so unattractive!

Can Fern and Mark cash in on the rare crestware nurse and soldier?

Interest here, bids start at 45. £50 is bid.

-£50 is bid.

-Come on.

-55. 60. 65.

70. 75. 80. 85.

-90. 95. It's 95 in the room.

-This is better.

£95. At 95 on my left. Are we done elsewhere?

-Last time at £95.

-It should have made a lot more.

It stopped. It should have made a lot more.

Unfortunately, the bidders didn't agree.

But it's profit nonetheless.

-That was a small profit.

-We made £15.

-Are we happy with that^?

Phil and James step up with their next lot, the ladders.

Can they elevate their chances of success?

£5 I have for these. At £5, will anyone go higher on them? Ha-ha!

£8 is bid and I'm out.

£8 and I'm selling at 8.

At £8 in the room. Quickly at 8. Last time at 8.

Aw!

£8!

Another loss for Phil and James.

That's disappointing.

-Oh, darling!

-It's a disaster!

But chin up! It's Fern and Mark's fairground chook next.

I'm bid £30 here.

Wonderful, we've covered it.

45 and I'm out. It's £45.

50, new bidder. 55.

55, it's on my left. I'm selling at £55.

-Fabulous, it's very rare!

-At £55.

Who are these people? £55.

-I'm selling at £55. Now at £55.

-Whoo!

The little chicken turned out to be a prize bird.

Well done.

-I told you you should buy that, didn't I?

-Yes, you did! All right!

That's why you're the expert!

Next up, could Phil and James be in the money

with their commemorative coins?

-Bid's here, start me at £50. I have a £50.

-Good luck, boys, good luck.

-60.

65 now. 65 on my far left. I'll sell at 65.

Are we done elsewhere at 65? And I'm selling last time.

Oh!

It's a jolly good profit!

At last! The boys are back in the game!

Let's hope they can keep it up.

-Look at his face!

-I've lived with this for 15 years!

-Oh!

-Nobody knows how I've suffered.

-Not for much longer!

Can Fern and Mark extend their lead with the unusual book holder?

What shall we say? £10 for that?

-£10 for it? £10 somewhere.

-It's beautiful!

-5.

-At £10. 5 anywhere? 5 is bid.

-Oh!

-8 now.

-Come on!

10. 12. £12, gentleman's bid.

-Selling at 12. 15.

-It's cheap.

15. You bidding? £15.

£15. I'm selling in the room at 15. Are we done? At £15.

-Way too much.

-That's disappointing.

-Way too much.

-That's disappointing.

Is it? A tiny profit, but it was barely worth the effort.

At least it's a profit!

-It's a profit.

-After commission, it's gone.

Actually it's about 30p profit but let's not quibble!

It's James and Phil's ornamental lucky dip up next.

-Household ornaments, crockery and collectable items.

-Ooh!

-One of the collectable items showing to you there.

-Where?

-Whoop! Whoop!

£10 for this lot, if you will.

£10 for it.

£10 anywhere. £5, then?

Oh, dear. £5, anywhere? At £5. 5 is big. Thank you. At £5.

At £450,000 I'll sell. It's £5 only.

Are we done at £5? Last time.

-Ah.

-We broke even.

Despite that disappointment, there's still very little between the teams.

It all rests on the final two lots.

They're laughing again! You have to laugh!

We must!

The Ozzie wannabe slipware jug is up next.

Hopefully there are some owl fans in the house.

Bid's here, start me at 40. 45. 50.

55. £60 is bid.

65. 70.

75. 80.

85. 90.

-You bidding? 95 now. At £95.

-Told you!

At 95 and I'm out. It's in the room. Are you bidding?

100.

-Go on!

-100. 110.

It's 110, ladies and gentlemen.

110. At £110. Then I'm selling at 110.

Are we clear? 5087, thank you.

-Whoo!

-Well done!

-Well done.

-Thank you.

What a surprise. Mark's fascination for owls paid off,

taking Fern and Mark into the lead.

It's so unfair! I'm going off her!

It all lies with Phil and James' beautiful farmhouse bench.

Can this lovely piece of ash bring them wads of cash?

Interest here. Bid's start me at 75. 85. £90 is bid.

£90 I have. At £90.

At £90. At £90. I'm selling. It's on commission.

At £90. It's against you in the room. For the last time then at 90.

-Oh, gosh! I thought you were going to be in profit then.

-Me too!

A disastrous sale for Phil and James. But Fern can enjoy a slap-up feast

for a week, courtesy of Phil!

After all, a deal's a deal!

James, come on. It's not the winning that counts, it's the taking part.

I'm going to shake your hand again!

It's the taking part!

-It's the winning.

-No.

Both celebrities started with £400.

Phil and James took a hefty hit

and after auction costs made a loss of £105.75, leaving them with only...

Fern and Mark did marginally better.

And after costs made a profit of £73.90,

resulting in a finishing budget of...

All profits large and small go to Children In Need.

Well, I tell you what, Mark, that was amazing!

I don't know what happened. I don't know what happened.

It wasn't supposed to happen that way.

Well, it was for us!

-It's been fantastic.

-It has been. Phil.

It's been great.

Do you feel like driving? You can drive the winner home!

Ooh, nice one!

-They're like an old married couple!

-They are, they're worse than we are!

-Bye, boys!

-Bye.

All right, loser?

Humble in victory as ever, our Mr Stacey!

Bon voyage!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd