Eric v John - Foreign Market Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

This is Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is,

the show that pitches TV's best-loved antiques experts

against each other in an all-out battle for profit.

I'm a double-your-money girl.

And gives you the insider's view of the trade.

You've got to be in it to win it.

Each week, one pair of duelling dealers

will face a different daily challenge.

'Lovely!' We've got some work to do, let's go.

Putting their own money and their hard-earned reputations on the line

as they see who can make the most money from buying and selling.

Get in there! THUNDERCLAP, CACKLING

Today's all-out battle for profit

pitches ceramics connoisseur Eric Knowles

against the master of memorabilia, John Cameron.

Coming up, John pounces on the prime purchases before his opponent.

I've ended up buying that now.

I'm only buying it because I don't want Eric to get it.

Eric The Unstoppable moves like lightning.

I have seen something else up the road, so don't think me rude,

but I'm going to make a quick dash.

And The Hammer secures a sensational showbiz sale.

OK, we've got a deal.

He probably paid £20 knowing him,

but it's OK, I want him to make some money.

Thank you, David, you're very generous.

It's Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is.

Grab your sword and tweak your moustache.

Two mighty musketeers of the antiques trade are riding into town.

In this epic bout, it's Eric "Knocker" Knowles,

the Porthos Of Porcelain,

who will have at ye for the most sumptuous of spoils.

Duelling with John "The Hammer" Cameron,

the dashing d'Artagnan of dealers

who will run you through to get his gains.

And at the drop of the gauntlet, they meet at dawn,

rendezvousing at Porte de Vanves free market in Paris.

They are under royal orders to capture the collectables

and sell them on for a big profit.

They have each got £750 worth of euros to spend

and all the profit goes to their chosen charities.

Honour is at stake.

Eric Knowles and John Cameron,

'tis time to put your money where your mouth is.

-Hey.

-Good morning, Eric. Good morning.

Bonjour. Hey, listen, you look the part. John, you look French.

I've tried to blend in, but I don't think I'm going to fool anyone,

because the last time I came here, Eric,

I actually addressed a woman as "Monsieur".

What are you going to be looking for?

My main strategy today is I'm looking for decorative things,

things with a bit of visual impact.

You're a bit of a French decorative arts man, so what about you?

I love the deco and I love the nouveau,

but the problem here is, yes, it's here, but at a price.

-Talking of money, do you have your £750?

-Yes.

Now, that equates to about 825 euros, is that right?

Yeah, and it looks like it's burning a hole in your pocket.

It certainly is. So let's go and spend some stuff.

May the best man win. Au revoir. And there is my French for the day.

And so today's swashbuckling skirmish begins.

Our two mighty musketeers ride out to outdo each other

in their quest for the finest antiques that France can offer.

But will it be all for one and one for all?

First of all, I've only got a limited amount of time,

because this place closes at two o'clock in the afternoon.

The last time I was here,

there were a few deco and nouveau people over the far side,

so I am going to go in there first, because it is important

that I get off the mark and make a couple of buys as quickly as possible.

So speed is of the essence to Knocker,

but what is The Hammer's cunning plan?

I did say to Eric that I was looking for decorative things,

but really, I'm going to have a good root in some of these cabinets,

try and find those little treasures.

I have made a bit of a faux pas already, though,

I forgot my jeweller's loupe,

so I'm going to have to use the naked eye

in order to scrutinise those little marks.

Forgetting his magnifier puts John at a disadvantage,

but you can bet he won't be telling his opponent,

as this game is all about having an eye for the prize.

So, who will be first off the mark?

It's The Hammer, and he's found something

that's not to be sniffed at.

That's quite sweet. That's a little silverplated snuffbox.

It's a novelty snuffbox modelled as a sailor's cap,

with a little anchor on the top.

It's got 140 euros on it, though, and it is silverplated.

There's not a great deal of age to it,

I think it's probably mid-20th century.

Excusez-moi, sir, do you speak any English?

Because my French is awful.

You do? Saviour. You have got 140 euros on that,

what's your very best price?

-I don't want to mess you around.

-The very best would be 100.

-100 euros would be your very best price?

-Very best price.

I think I will have to take it. Thank you very much.

Thank you very much indeed.

And thank you for speaking English, it makes my job slightly easier.

So its first blood to the Flashing Blade

as he captures the cap snuffbox for just under £91.

While it's looking like plain sailing for The Hammer,

our Knocker seems to be rather adrift.

I'm maintaining inner calm.

Whereas I'm also trying to avoid showing outer panic,

because I have been going for the best part of about 45 minutes

and I've not bought a single thing.

Go on, Eric, the bargains are out there, you've just got to search.

# I've been searching low and high... #

The mighty Hammer is a man of action

and he's spotted a French classic to crow over.

Excusez-moi. Combien?

MAN SPEAKS FRENCH

Trois cent cinquante.

-Trois cent...

-It's 350.

-350.

-It's a nice thing.

-Lalique.

Yeah, it's Lalique. It's not terribly old.

-It is a little expensive for me.

-How much do you pay?

-Hm. I don't wish to insult you.

-"Insult". What is "insult"?

-I don't wish to offend.

-Ah.

What is your very, very, very best price?

"Very best price" - three little words every stallholder dreads.

Very good price, 250.

It's a drop of 100 euros already,

but is The Hammer going to chicken out?

I would pay 200.

-No, 250...

-Listen, you're a good man.

Just give me price.

£200, I would give you £200.

John, you're not in Portsmouth now, it's euros here.

So with The Hammer locked in battle,

is Knocker in any danger of evening the score yet?

Time is pressing and I've yet to make a purchase,

but I can assure you the intent is intense.

Eric, we need action, not intent.

John is still haggling for the Lalique.

I will pay you £200. No?

Give me 220.

Oh, this guy is good, but The Hammer strikes back.

210.

-OK, give.

-I've ended up buying it now.

I'm only buying it because I don't want Eric to get it.

-There's 200.

-Give me ten, now.

-Yes, I'll give you ten.

-All right?

-Merci beaucoup, John.

And fortune favours our bold buccaneer

as he shells out just under £191 for the glass cockerel.

I've just purchased this Lalique model of a cockerel,

but there are no chips on that, that's very, very important with Lalique glass.

I'm in Knocker territory here -

this is the sort of thing he would definitely have picked up.

He is, there's no doubt, an authority on Lalique.

This is a kind of strategy. I picked this up because I think he would have bought this.

I've removed this piece from the game so the Knocker can't buy it.

Hopefully it won't backfire on me,

but anyway, let's see what Eric's got to say when he sees it.

A provocative and downright fiendish move from The Hammer there.

This game can be won or lost on strategy.

But Eric has been busy

and finally he has spotted a piece with potential.

I came across this ceiling light. It is Empire style.

I know full well it's not of any great age

but I know how much these things cost back in the UK, because I bought one.

A little bit bigger than that. The best price is 100 euros,

a green light went on in my head which said "buy, buy, buy".

So that's exactly what I'm going to do.

And buy he does, splashing out just under £91 for the chandelier,

which will need to be rewired

and safety-checked before it can be used in the UK.

I'll tell you what, I feel an awful lot better now I've made that buy.

It is almost like scoring the first goal in a game of football

and bearing in mind that we've got a Pompey supporter at the far end,

I am just wondering how many he's knocked into the net.

So Knocker shoots and scores

and The Hammer's even found some useful footwear for him.

Look at those, I bet Eric remembers playing football in those, eh?

Jumpers for goalposts.

Ooh, The Hammer puts the boot in!

But there are no yellow cards in this game.

Now, it's coming up for half-time here in Paris

and Knocker's looking to even up the score.

I've not seen this particular design before.

I've been offered it at the very best price of 80 euros,

so I'm not sure who I'm going to sell that to,

because you really need a pair,

but I'm going to keep that in reserve and I may be back later.

I like it, but there may be something around there that I like even more.

So Knocker is still on the lookout,

prowling this market and keeping a wary eye out for his opposition,

but The Hammer is a master of disguise.

So our Eric might find himself getting a little confused.

Do you think Eric will recognise me around here?

John, how's it going? Oh, I'm so sorry. Excusez-moi.

Trying to keep my eye out for Knowlesy while I'm down here.

-Bonjour, John, how's it going?

-No, no, monsieur, no.

Excusez-moi. Excusez-moi.

I found a picture that I think Eric should most definitely buy.

This is all too much.

John Cameron has merged into the entire French nation.

-John, is it really you? It is.

-Eric.

I've been looking all over the shop for you.

I mean, I'm bumping into folk that are dead ringers for you.

-I've been embarrassing myself.

-Well, great sage, I hope you spent a bit of time

actually looking for bargains instead of looking to me.

Well, I've been looking to see how you've been getting on,

so I might as well ask the question.

I've bought a few things. How about you? How are you finding it?

I don't mind admitting I'm finding all the right pieces

but not at the right prices, so as time is of the essence,

I'm going to scoot, but remember - you're buying for Britain.

I'll catch you later.

Looking a little bit nervous there, if you don't mind me saying so.

We're halfway through the game,

so let's remind ourselves how things are playing out

between the young blade and his senior swordsman.

Both our dashing dealmakers

had up to £750 of their own money to spend today.

Eric has largely kept his spending sword stuck in his scabbard,

notching up only one buy and spending £90.91,

leaving a fraction over £659 in his kitty.

John is sticking to his strategy of pace and stealth

and has made two hits with his pair of buys costing him £281.82,

with £468.18 left to play with.

So, it en garde for round two and the rules of engagement

are to seek out the spoils from this street market

before it closes down for the day.

Time is of the essence

and both our duellists are feeling the pressure.

I looked into that man's eyes and I saw pure terror.

So it's no small consolation, because look at that...

That is the best I can do. The pressure is on.

Right, there are stallholders actually starting to pack away here.

So this is when we start making panic buys.

I think Eric is panicking just a little bit more

because he is struggling to find those things.

However, he knows the story about the hare and the tortoise.

I don't put it past him to catch me up.

You're right to be wary, John, because it's the tortoise

who is first to strike by spending on some silver.

I've just bought this... Wait for this, it is a sort of crumb scoop,

but look at it, it's lovely, it's art nouveau.

It dates from around about 1900, give or take maybe five years.

It's actually stamped for Gallia,

which is a trade name for Christofle,

but I think it's a pretty good buy.

I'm very happy with that.

Yes, a telling thrust delivered by our veteran Knocker

as he nets the nouveau for £100.

Will there be an answer in riposte from his younger rival,

who's spotted an intriguing piece?

Interesting, a little enamel piece there. It has got some age to it.

It would have had a little thermometer in here,

which is long gone, but I still think that's interesting enough.

Nice condition other than that. Should get a sale out of it.

The Hammer's parry keeps him still one step ahead

as he bags the novelty item for 50 euros - that's £45.45.

So The Hammer is fizzing with confidence

and with time fast running out, Eric knows he's got to get a shift on.

So I'm going to go back to a few of the things that I saw earlier

that I was thinking about and make that quantum leap and buy them.

Yes, a new tactic for Knocker.

Move very fast.

And he dashes back to that vase that he put on the backburner earlier on.

I've decided to go with the vase. I like its pedigree.

It's getting late in the day, so it was in reserve

and I'm glad I saw it earlier.

Fantastique. Thank you.

Our resident pot-aholic hands over 80 Euros.

That's £72.73.

So that one's in the bag. I've seen something else up the road.

So don't think me rude, but I'm going to make a quick dash.

MUSIC: "Run Run Run" by Jo Jo Gunne

And while this duel

is turning into a dealing dash for Knocker,

The Hammer is showing some Gallic cool

by casually snapping up a bronze and glass centrepiece.

Most definitely my bargain of the day.

But I know you're asking, "What is it, and why has he bought that?"

Well, it's a tazza, or a centrepiece,

used in the centre of a table to put cakes

or something like that on, for display.

It probably dates from the early 20th Century,

when you see a lot of pressed glass around.

And it features the 12 signs of the zodiac.

The bottom has a cast bronze base.

It is a bit customer-specific, I'll agree.

But I do have someone in mind.

Our dashing dealer has it in the bag for £22.73.

So The Hammer stays ahead by four buys to three.

But what of Knocker's sprint for the spoils?

Can Eric calm his panic and snatch the deal of the day?

Deux-cent-quatre-vingt. C'est cent-quatre-vingt.

-OK.

-180.

-180?

-Yes.

-OK.

-It's model de Rochard.

This is last-minute buying, but you can get a bargain at the end here.

That was at 280 euros. It's now 180 euros.

Not a bad discount.

Eric strikes hard and fast for the clock,

paying a shrewd £163.64.

-I love you!

-(SHE LAUGHS) Ah! Me too!

Our Eric knows how to play the game.

A little bit of charm doesn't go amiss with the French!

They know how to take it.

-So, merci beaucoup. Au revoir.

-Au revoir.

I'm going to dash on, because there's something else I've seen.

Yes, look at him go.

Knocker is now firing on all cylinders,

and it's not long before our rapier blade

closes in on his next potential purchase.

I'm having a lesson here in French fireside furniture.

Because if these were chenaise, they'd have support.

So when you think of chenaise in England

you're thinking hand irons or fire dogs.

Whereas this, of course, has got almost like a fender effect.

And what is more, it is adjustable.

So although it looks like it's only for a small fire,

you can expand it for a larger fireplace.

So fits any, which is not a bad deal. Oh yeah, but how much is it?

-In English?

-One million.

One million?! THEY LAUGH

For you, I make this 60 for you.

-60 euros?

-Yes, because I am good.

Yes, you are very good to us! I'm feeling a Franco-Anglo bond.

We are doing the best for d'Entente, here, are we not?

D'accord!

Dernier prix? Best price, 60?

-60. Yes, because we go.

-OK, no, no. Take my money!

Decision made,

Eric hands over £54.55 for the French fender.

At last, Knocker takes the lead over his rival.

But The Hammer is the picture of composure.

How much are the little port and starboards?

-For the pair?

-Yeah.

-90.

-90? Ouch!

-Cheap!

-What does that say? 30 Euros?

-35 for the pair.

It used to be 60.

I'd like to give you 60 for those and 30 for those.

60 for those? No.

OK, I'll tell you what. 70 for those and 30 for those. 100.

-You've got a deal.

-Good man.

And with a lightning lunge, The Hammer hits the target

with two buys for under £91.

Two marine-themed lamps for £63.64,

and the Laurel and Hardy ceramic heads for £27.27.

These are used for ships, for being able to know your left and right.

And an easy way to remember is the drink, port, is red.

If you remember there's no more port LEFT in the bottle, there's left.

And your starboard is right.

But around Portsmouth,

I've got to be able to sell those and make a profit.

Quite like those.

I bought them together

with my biscuit porcelain Laurel and Hardy here.

Now these were probably made in Germany, I would have suggested.

Obviously of the period, around the '30s.

And you can see the little holes around their shoulders there.

They would have had cloth bodies sewn to them. But these are intact.

There's no cracks or chips anywhere.

They're a bit of fun. Everyone loves Laurel and Hardy.

And at 30 euros if I can't make a profit on that,

all I can say is,

that's another fine mess you've got me into, Eric.

Mmm, there's no stopping the hard-hitting Hammer.

He's now notched up six buys to his opponent's five.

But Eric's last-minute dealing dash

has once again paid dividends.

Come and have a look at what I've just purchased.

Bonjour, Madame.

Such a stylish sort of champagne bucket, don't you think?

I've always done well.

It's got a nice mark on the base.

Date-wise, I suppose we're looking at round about 1930.

I like it. I've just paid 65 Euros for it.

And this, which again, I thought was nice and stylish.

I paid 65 for that.

So both items that would look well on any Art Deco table.

And for that sort of money, I'm not going to leave them behind.

So it's touche from our titan of the trade,

as he stumps up just over £59 each

for two pieces of silver plate.

With the stallholders packing up, Knocker has had to run back

and grab the heron clock he bought earlier.

Here's a wonderful clock

which is more a piece of sculpture, I think you'll agree.

I've got two sort of crested storks, or they're egrets,

and they're actually gilt metal. So they're not bronze.

But I can tell you the rest is marble.

It was very much a last-minute purchase.

That's when you get the odd bargain.

And I think I did.

I'm done and dusted.

Knocker's seven items put him one-up on John.

But The Hammer has one last buy up his sleeve.

Last little sneaky purchase of the day

is this little classic Citroen car.

There's no age to it. It's a modern collectable.

But I do know somebody that owns one of those cars.

So hopefully that's a sale in the bag.

But if he doesn't want it,

it's going to end up in the shelf in my office.

And with that last jab,

The Hammer grabs the model car for £18.18.

With the market closing around them

and the sellers all shutting up shop,

our duelling dealers must now call it a day.

Our bargain buccaneers each started the day

with £750 of their own money to spend.

Eric "Knocker" Knowles started sluggishly,

but eventually sprang into wallet-wielding action,

with seven items bought for a total of £600.01.

John "The Hammer" Cameron matched the veteran stroke for stroke

with seven buys of his own, spending £459.09 all in all.

With both memorabilia musketeers surviving the combat unscathed,

it's time for them to down their swords and compare their spoils.

Well, we've done it.

I don't know what the French word is for 'knackered', but I feel it!

Oh, my God! It doesn't get any easier, does it?

What do you think of this?

Well, I know what you did! I know what you did!

I saw this and thought of you.

I thought, "I've got to buy that, just so Eric can't."

-I am sorry.

-No, I'm not going to say anything.

But I think half the beak's missing. I'm not a bad loser.

What about this? I didn't know you were into buying doorstops.

(HE LAUGHS) You cheeky!

But I thought that was a very handsome clock.

I tell you what, that'll be one expensive doorstop, I can assure you.

I tell you what, you take your two old birds.

-I'm going to take my cockerel.

-Yep!

-And I'll see you soon.

The purloining of their Parisian plunder

has put our sterling swashbucklers in fine fettle

for the greater challenge which now awaits them.

They've got to sell all their items for the most profit they can get.

And all the money they make will go to their chosen charities.

So our duelling dealers return home

to gird their loins for the fight ahead.

Knocker, to beautiful Buckinghamshire.

And The Hammer, to the heavenly Hampshire coast.

Knocker wastes no time in talking up his impressive armoury.

Well, after a very busy day in Paris,

where I might be accused of a certain amount of panic-buying,

one item's given me a bit of a surprise.

It's this plated serving dish.

Because you can see that it's constructed

in such a way as to have a double motif.

Because that, to me, is the face of a lioness.

It's just a good quality item.

As for my clock, I think it's stylish.

And the same holds true of the crumb scoop.

As for the pottery vase, well,

I think that might be something of an academic piece.

And finally, over here, my very modern champagne bucket.

I'm hoping I'm going to come out ahead.

Eric also has to sell his fire fender and his chandelier.

The Hammer is casting his eyes over his hefty haul.

Back from my adventures across the English Channel

and my French buying trip in Paris.

I really like my Laurel and Hardy porcelain heads.

I have someone in mind for those.

The other item I bought with somebody in mind

is my gilt bronze and glass astrologer's plate.

My port and starboard lamps, always good sellers

around these parts on the south coast.

And also my little Citroen model car.

But I think my most favourite item has to be the Lalique,

that I know Eric would have bought.

So I think that me nipping in there

certainly moved me up the pecking order

in terms of potential profit.

John also has to sell his enamel thermometer holder

and his cap snuff box.

So, without further ado,

our swashbuckling seekers of profit spring into action,

using all the tools of the trade at their disposal.

They'll be ravaging in the pages of their contacts books

as they seek to find buyers for all their items.

But until they've shaken on it and the money has changed hands,

no deal is truly sealed.

The heroic Hammer is philosophical about the pressures

of the journey ahead.

If I win, I've beaten the legendary Eric Knowles.

And if I don't, well, it's not so bad.

I got to play against my idol.

It's a bit like a lower division footballer

saying that they once shared the field with George Best.

Very magnanimous, John.

And the George Best of Burnley is feeling equally generous.

It's funny, you know, when I think of Portsmouth now,

I think of John Cameron,

but I do think of him as...

sartorially, he is the peacock, if you will, of Put Your Money.

Well, the preening peacock might have something to say about that.

WOLF WHISTLE

And cranking up the horsepower in his mighty white van,

Knocker's first port of call is to a specialist dealer in Oxfordshire.

He's hoping Ant will be fascinated by his fire fender,

a red-hot Parisian purchase at £53.55.

I tell you, there's no better place to be in this particular season

than when you've got that roaring fire.

Which brings me neatly to fireside furniture.

Yeah, I see you've got a bit of metal with you.

I have, it's more than metal, it's a work of art.

I thought that was a very nice quality object.

Now, you've seen a few of these in your time,

so I'd be interested to have your comments.

Well, it's quite a nice casting.

It's not a bad example, probably late 19th century.

I was going to start round about £130 or something like that.

Yeah, like I say, Eric, fenders have become very unfashionable.

Demand isn't very good.

Come at me with it, let's see where we go.

-The market is very flat at the moment.

-OK.

And I was thinking more like 75.

If we could come in nearer sort of 95...

The important thing is,

I've come in here as your mate, and I want to go out as your mate.

Let's go 85 and then I can make my profit

and we'll enjoy owning it...

-OK, 85, come on.

-Done.

-You've done a deal.

Yes, Eric's all fired up with a profit of £30.45,

a steady start for our veteran.

Now it's time for his sharp-dressed young adversary to hit the road

and find a home for his toy car.

And he's planning to sell it to an owner of the full-sized version,

Portsmouth acquaintance, Mark.

Have a look, what do you think? Here's the car.

-Is it the right model?

-John, it's definitely the right model.

So how long was she in production for?

They commenced manufacture in 1934,

and although production stopped for the Second World War,

they commenced production immediately after the war

and carried on right up until 1957.

Well, she is slightly later still, but what do you think of her?

Nice quality die cast model.

The detailing is where it's good,

even down to the odd colour yellow wheels and the tiny indicators

on the high quarters.

-Is it worth 60 quid to you?

-I would've said not, John.

-I would've thought probably more like 35, maybe £40?

-£40?

-Go on then, Mark. I'll tell you what, I'll even throw in that.

-Ah.

To keep the dust off!

-Any chance of a lift home?

-Yep, no problem.

I know I don't speak much French, but I think you'll agree, Eric,

that some of my sales have a certain je ne sais quoi.

Mm, our now cosmopolitan competent drives off with a profit of £21.82,

but that's not going to trouble the Burnley Baron,

who's on the trail for a sale of his champagne bucket, with Art Deco dealer Wayne.

Would 95 suit?

If you call it £90, we're all right.

OK, 90 quid. All right, all right.

So, a sparkler of a deal there for Knocker,

netting him almost £31 profit.

Now, The Hammer is all suited and booted

for the next phase of his selling. He's dressed to impress

and to try and sell his cake stand.

# I'm gonna get dressed for success

# Shaping me up for the big time, baby

# Get dressed... #

I'm here to see my friend, Anna, a keen cake maker,

and I've brought along my glass and gilt bronze zodiac centrepiece.

She seen the photograph. She wasn't too impressed with it,

so looking into my stars, I think I've got a hard sell on my hands.

What do you think?

It's a lot nicer in the flesh.

Oh, that's a relief!

-Um, I really like the details on the legs.

-You like it?

-Yeah, they're really pretty.

-So, put a price tag on it?

-£50.

-£50?!

I actually thought it was worth at least double that.

It's nice, I wouldn't say it's worth more than 50, £60.

Well, we're moving in the right direction slowly.

-Make me another offer.

-£75.

I'll tell you what, make it £80 and you've got a deal.

-Go on, then. You've got a deal.

-Well done, thank you very much.

So it's a very sweet profit of £57.27 for our happy Hammer,

who gets an unexpected bonus with this sale.

-I have actually made a little surprise for you.

-Oh, Anna!

-Is that for me?

-That's for you.

-Oh, fantastic.

Knowlesy?

-Who says you can't have your cake and eat it?

-# Hammer time... #

Now, Knocker is fuelling up to make a big sale of his own.

He's loaded up his white van and he's pulled up in Southport,

hoping to offload his vase, crumb scoop and platter.

He's taking a punt on specialist dealer Paul

wanting to take all three.

I know that you're an academic, as well as a shop owner.

Well, flattery gets you everywhere.

But that's from the Paris Expo of 1937.

-But I just thought it was a stylish piece.

-I don't know the manufacturer.

No. In some respects, it makes me feel a little bit better,

because, you know, I'm sort of flying by the seat of my pants.

When it comes to, sort of, prices,

both of these, I was looking around the 100 mark.

This one, minimum of around about £130.

This one, I may be able to get a collector,

it depends what sort of deal he can do on it, Eric.

But I want you to be comfortable because I want to do more business with you.

-Would 75 show you a profit, Eric, on that one?

-80 might.

Well, we've known each other for a long time,

and I would go 80 for you.

80 quid, OK.

Now, when you find out that it's by Raoul Dufy or somebody like that.

I will not tell you at all!

-Put it there.

-Many thanks.

-You're a star. Excellent.

Oh, that's a bit of a disappointment for Knocker,

a small profit of just £7.27 on the vase.

And he'll have to find another buyer for the platter and the crumb scoop,

and that's got to be good news for his rampaging rival,

The Hammer, who's sniffed out another deal.

He's on his way to Southampton,

where he's tracked down the perfect purchaser for his novelty snuff box.

I'm here to meet Geoff Holt, antiques collector-dealer,

but also well known for being the first disabled sailor

to sail single-handedly around the UK and across the Atlantic.

So I'm hoping he's going to take a shine to my silver-plated snuff box,

Sailor's Cap.

I'm really intrigued to know all about this sailing...

I've been at sea since we last met!

I think you have.

How did this all happen? Around the UK and the Atlantic.

Yeah, I went round Britain on my own in 2007.

That took a third of a year to sail round Britain,

and then more recently, I sailed across the Atlantic in 2009,

and that took a month to sail 3,000 miles.

I sailed back to the beach where I had my accident.

I've been really lucky and honoured and privileged

to be able to do that.

Well, I know sailing plays a big part in your life

and you're very passionate about it, but I know you are very passionate

-about antiques and collectibles as well, Geoff.

-Yeah.

Which is why I'm here. What do you think? It is quite novel.

It is.

My first reaction, John, is it's much bigger than I was expecting.

Let me have a closer look, maybe, at this.

I mean, crikey, I could not not want that, could I, really?

That's got to be...

Careful what I say, I don't want to show my enthusiasm too early,

but that's lovely.

So I guess the real question, John, is how much are you looking for?

I'm hoping around £180, something like that.

It's not silver, John.

No, I know it's not silver!

I'm thinking, realistically, 120 here, John.

It doesn't give me much of a profit.

Now, I'm sadly driven by profit at the moment,

because my oppo is Eric Knowles.

-Oh, why didn't you say so?

-So you mean you'll increase your bid?!

I'll increase the bid, let's say...

if you can call it 150, we can shake on 150.

150...

I can't counter that. 150, I will take 150, Geoff.

-Are you happy with that?

-I'm happy with that, 150.

-Shake on the deal.

-We've got a deal.

-Fantastic, I'm happy with that.

And it's a tidy profit of £59.09 for Gentleman John.

The Valiant Varlet also goes on to sell his port and starboard lamps

to a local dealer, sailing away with a profit of £96.36.

Both our marauding musketeers have been fighting fiercely

right from the get-go.

So far, Eric has sold three of his items

and has bagged a profit of £68.63,

while John has made four sales at this midway stage,

and he's also ahead in cash terms,

with a profit of £234.54.

As the battle rages on,

The Hammer has three items left to sell, while Knocker has four.

And the Burnley Blade's hoping to offload three of them

in one fell swoop.

He has high hopes that a dealer in Westram will be his savoir.

But, when our White Van Wonder starts unloading his booty,

disaster strikes.

I just put this dish down on the pavement,

next to the lamppost over there, and I heard a pop, I heard a bang

and I came out and I found that a car had mounted the pavement

and actually run over the thing!

And it's driven off. I'm a victim of a hit and run! It's just...

Well, it's just...

Excuse me, I'm just having one of those off-camera moments, sorry.

Oh, poor Eric.

Knocker's knackered platter has shattered his chances of profit

and, if he expects any sympathy from The Hammer, he's sadly mistaken.

The antiquarian upstart is off to Yorkshire

with his Laurel and Hardy porcelain heads. And on his trek to the frozen North,

he's finding out there's no business like snow business,

as he comes face-to-face with his celebrity chum,

David Gest.

-David, it's good to see you again.

-Good to see you.

Now, usually when I see you, I'm selling something for you.

Today, my attempt is to sell something to you.

The fact that you collect memorabilia, you know,

you're rubbing shoulders and friends with all these big names,

was there ever a temptation to say,

"Do you mind signing this for me?"

I mean, the only autograph that I was ever a little nervous about

asking for was John Cameron, because of his great work on television.

Well, without any further ado, they need no introduction.

Here we have two French bisque porcelain heads.

These would have been sold as blanks to sew onto the body,

so these would be on a cloth body.

So, what do you think of them?

Well, I've seen these at Woolworth's for 19p.

No, just teasing. I've got to get the price down right away.

-So what do you think of them?

-I love them.

And I've collected a lot of things on Laurel and Hardy.

-They're fabulous and I love them.

-You do like them?

-Yeah.

Tell me where your starting point is.

I think they're worth about £300.

That's pretty high. That's pretty high.

We're going to have to lower that a bit.

-Make me an offer, David.

-How does 150 sound to you?

It doesn't sound too bad.

You think you could stretch to 200?

No, I think I could stretch it to 150,

and I'm pretty strict when I buy something.

I think that's what I would pay for them.

150, your final offer, David?

In pounds, not dollars.

£150, and I will take it.

OK. We've got a deal.

He probably paid £20, knowing him,

but it's OK, I want him to make some money.

Thank you, David, you're very generous!

David's £20 guess isn't far wrong.

John bought the heads for just over £27

and so makes a spectacular showbiz profit of £122.73.

Back in Kent, never-say-die Knocker has dried his eyes

and is trying to put his platter calamity behind him,

and he goes in fighting for a dynamic deal

on his clock and crumb scoop with local dealer John.

When I saw it, I just instantly liked it,

because of it being sculptural.

-Condition-wise, it's going to need a bit of a clean, obviously.

-Yep.

We tend to look at all of that and try and bring it back to its original finish,

so I have to allow for that.

It's unusual to have these sorts of birds, as you know,

but for that, it is interesting. But it's a limited market.

So with something like this, if my opening gambit was around about...

£240...? But you tell me where you would be comfortable, John.

I'm probably going to be nearer 180.

Is there any way we can get to that 200 mark?

-I'm happy to do it at 200.

-Are you sure?

-That's fair enough.

So it's a profit of £36.36 on the gilt and marble clock.

Now, Eric sets to work on the crumb scoop.

To see me ahead of the game,

I'm looking for around about £120 on that.

-How about £100?

-If we could do £110, it sees me in the right direction.

-OK.

-OK. You're a star, you really are.

-Thank you.

Eric makes a modest £10 profit on the crumb scoop.

Poor old Knocker

is really struggling for the big money today.

And John also offers £20 for the battered silver platter,

a loss of £39.09 that Eric knew he'd have to take.

All of which should hearten The Hammer.

Our South Coast swashbuckler is taking a day trip to Brighton

to meet Jeff, a specialist in Lalique car mascots,

at his garage HQ.

There we are. Have a look at it. Post-war production, obviously,

it's a later one. The first one, I believe, was 1928, wasn't it?

That's right, yep. The in-between war, it would have been intaglio,

that's to say moulded within the piece,

and it would say Lalique France,

it's the only one that didn't have the R for Rene.

It's in very nice condition, there doesn't seem to be any faults.

So is it something that can make its way into the cabinet?

It definitely can, at the right price, yes.

-I'm looking for about £400.

-Right.

At 400, it would come in its box with certificate.

I could come up to the 300 mark on it.

Could you go to £350?

Well, I said 300, you're saying 350, I'd meet you halfway at 325.

OK, that seems fair enough. I've made a profit,

-let's shake on that. £325.

-All the best, yes.

Thank you very much, Jeff.

So, it's a none too paltry profit of just over £134,

and our John is never short of a pun or two.

My cockerel has gone home to roost,

I made a profit that certainly isn't chicken feed,

and making money in Eric's field of expertise

is definitely something to crow about.

And with his full range of hen-based hilarity exhausted,

The Hammer returns home to plan his final sale.

Knocker has made a foray into Hertfordshire

for his last selling trip,

and it's in the unlikely location of Foxholes Farm

that he's arranged to meet period lighting dealer Jeff,

to offload the chandelier he bought for just under £91.

I know that I've sent you an image of this wonderful luminaire,

-as they might say in Paris.

-It's interesting.

The thing that struck me about it was the quality,

and I believe that you have the qualifications

to actually bring this back to life.

-It needs rewiring.

-Yeah.

-Um, new lamp-holders,

testing et cetera, before we can sell it.

I'm just thinking that it may be, sort of, from the 1970s

-or maybe...

-I was going to say about 1960,

-so we're not far off there.

-No.

-It's a limited market.

-Is it?

-It's not as easy as crystal chandeliers.

-Yeah.

But there would be some interest.

I was coming in at about 220 on that, but go on.

There's a recession, Eric. A recession.

-Times are hard!

-Yeah.

I would be looking more like about 145, 150.

-I was hoping for nearer 180.

-170?

OK, 170, you've got yourself a French Empire hanging light.

Well, a good object with a reasonable profit,

and it just goes to show that where there's muck, there's brass.

Ay up, Eric!

And with that last bit of brass banked to the tune of £79.09,

that's Knocker's selling spree all done,

while The Hammer still has one more deal left to strike,

and he's hoping to tempt dealer Ian with his novelty thermometer holder.

I'd like about 130, 140 for it.

-Can you come down a few degrees?

-Arr!

A few degrees! How many degrees?

I'll give you 100 quid.

I think that's a fair offer, £100.

So, The Hammer gets a temperature-raising profit

of £54.55.

Both dashing dealers have battled bravely throughout this duel,

but who's wielded his wallet with the most wisdom?

Both our experts had £750 worth of Euros

to spend at the Parisian flea market.

Eric made seven purchases, spending a total of £600.01.

John also made seven buys, spending £459.09 in all.

But the only numbers that matter from here on in

are those they make in profit.

All of the money that Eric and John have made from today's challenge

will be going to a charity of their choice.

So, without further ado, it's time to find out

who is today's Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is champion.

Hey, Mr Cameron, or should I say, comment allez-vous? Or whatever.

Tell me about your Laurel and Hardy, how did they go?

They were all right, they actually got me out of a fine mess.

I sold them, no less, to David Gest,

who is a collector of film and music memorabilia.

Well, I'm already trembling, I'm already trembling.

Do you remember my Art Deco silver-plated dish?

-With the nice jewelled handles?

-Yes.

But believe it or not, I just put it on the kerb

and along came a car, mounted the pavement and flattened it.

I'm not grinning about that, Eric,

but I hope you at least sold it for scrap.

Well, more or less! More or less.

-Let's see how we did, anyway.

-Let's see.

-TOGETHER:

-One, two, three.

Ooh, that's a big price. Oh, look.

-Oh, my goodness!

-My goodness me.

Well, I am absolutely shocked there, Eric. I really am.

So, anyway, my consolation is knowing that you've won,

you actually put the drinks on the table.

So it was victory for The Hammer on the Continent,

and I'm not one to crow, even though I did buy and sell that cockerel

just so Eric couldn't.

But I am pleased with my victory,

because when it comes to the heavyweights of the antiques world,

they don't come much bigger than Eric Knowles.

Well, I've got to eat humble pie,

because that was a colossal total from my competitor there.

It probably helped having a certain David Gest on your side,

but as for poor old Laurel and Hardy, in my case, well,

it's another fine mess they've got me into.

So, can the Porcelain Price pull it back in tomorrow's show,

when he takes on the sharpshooting Hammer once again,

at an antiques fair in Lincolnshire?

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