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Welcome along to Great Movie Mistakes.
This show blows a hole in the carefully constructed veneer of Hollywood perfection.
Our team of continuity experts - or geeks - have locked themselves away in the archives
to track down the best howlers on the silver screen.
So here are those mistakes - the ones that have made all that hard work very nearly worthwhile.
That's what they don't tell you in the church.
This is The Departed with Jack Nicholson.
Ever seen a man eat a cigarette in less than a tenth of a second?
What I'm saying, is this. When you're facing...
Well, you have now.
This is Leo DiCaprio in the same film.
Ever seen a man inhale, then start blowing smoke rings
in less than a tenth of a second?
You have now.
And this is Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction.
Ever seen a woman swap which hand she's smoking with?
Yeah, you probably have, actually.
This is good, though. It keeps swapping hands.
Did you just order a 5 shake?
She'll burn herself if she's not careful.
That's a shake. Milk and ice cream.
This is Nacho Libre.
Watch what the boys at home are wearing.
Coloured T-shirts and shirts.
But a split second later, they're all in vests.
Poor little fellas.
An epic about a man who wins the hearts and minds of a fickle public
by bravely fighting humans and wild animals with his top off.
Do that in a Hollywood film and you are a hero.
Try doing it in a pub car park after closing time, and see who's on your side then.
Those galling double standards aside, this film is Mistakus Maximus.
Errors everywhere, as we shall now demonstrate.
It's the morning after the big battle, when the film-makers
have gone to great lengths to ensure the scene looks realistic.
Oh, there's a man in jeans trying to creep unnoticed out of shot.
That's definitely worth another look.
Thanks for stinking the scene out, mate.
Here's Maximus taking the unusual step
of demanding a review in the middle of the film.
-Are you not entertained?
-Are you not entertained?
Is this not why you are here?
Are you not entertained?
Or we were, before this bloke in jeans wandered into the shot.
-Are you not entertained?
-That sort of ruined it for me.
I don't care how seriously it takes itself,
I'm pointing this mistake out.
It's supposed to be 2,000 years ago,
so why has this chariot got a gas canister strapped on the back?
That's what I call a Mistakus Maximus.
As well as inventing viaducts, roads and a modern legal system,
the Romans apparently invented rubber-soled boots.
If not, why is this soldier wearing them?
Hm? Ah? Why? Hm? Yeah?
Those of you who spent the entire film worrying that
these spiked helmets will have someone's eye out, fear not.
As this clip shows, the spike's just made of floppy rubber.
A bit like a Teletubby, I suppose.
It's not easy being a movie extra.
You get paid, you get fed, you get to meet world famous...
Oh, hang on! It is easy. It's incredibly easy!
Yet our supporting artist friends,
who might as well wear a badge saying, "I wanted to be an actor, but got told that wouldn't happen,"
still seem expert in ruining things for everyone else.
Watch these pillocks!
This one is superb.
It's from the gangster movie Once Upon A Time In America.
As a gunman wreaks havoc, watch how rubbish this woman's fall is.
Here we go, on the pavement, on the left.
Actually, let's watch that again.
For most people, it's the bullets that cause them to hit the deck,
but our old lady couldn't care less about a bit of lead.
No, what she fears more than anything else is...the car horn.
Role Models now, and as these two leave the lift,
watch the extra in the background.
He calls the lift, but did you spot the gaffe?
Yep, there's no button. He's just pretending.
The extra was later destroyed.
This is a belter from Jaws.
Everyone's terrified, there's a shark in the water, people's lives are at risk.
Look at this guy. He's having a lovely time.
There's nothing he likes more than seeing a holidaymaker killed by a shark
and then wading into lovely, bloody waters.
A character's costume is as essential to making an audience believe as the acting.
Superman's cape and tights,
Harry Potter's school uniform, Chewbacca's...belt.
And as for those Sex And The City girls,
each one of them has more costume changes than Kim Cattrall's
character, Samantha, has had lovers, and that's a disgusting total.
The point is, for any self-respecting director,
wardrobe malfunctions are deeply embarrassing,
which makes it all the sweeter that we have spotted these bad boys.
45-years-old, no living family...
This is a scene from Quantum Of Solace and M, played by Judi Dench,
must have asked Q
to knock up some high-tech shoes
because she's wearing flat shoes at the top of the stairs,
but at the bottom, they appear to have morphed into heels.
Have another look. Flat there.
-..through every bill in his wallet and house.
-How much did he have?
Less than £100.
Heels there. Astounding.
This is Slumdog Millionaire,
and these guys really will be millionaires
if they can harness the incredible powers of their magic jewellery.
See Latika is wearing a nose ring here
and then, piff paff puff...
Now it's back again.
Oh, get your act together, love!
Weird fantasy movie Stardust now,
in which Michelle Pfeiffer has really let herself go.
Look at her teeth.
They've only been darkened at the front.
At the back they're white. In fact, I'd go further.
They're some of the most elegant molars I've seen in the last decade.
This is Bratz,
and as these girls risk serious injury
by launching into dance rehearsals without a warm-up,
they're wearing vest-tops.
When it comes to the wide shot, they're wearing T-shirts.
Oh, give it a rest, girls.
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
E-mail [email protected]
Robert Webb exposes the cinematic blunders and gaffes that the film studios hoped they had got away with. From sweaty cameramen getting caught in shot to wobbling scenery, and from props that look like they have been made by the Blue Peter team to childlike spelling mistakes, this show has Hollywood bang to rights.