Not in 3D Great Movie Mistakes


Not in 3D

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The name's Webb, Robert Webb and I've got a license to kill...

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the next two hours of your life,

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with all the mistakes from the latest movie releases.

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It's the return of the show that leaves the movie industry

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shaken and stirred by pointing out

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when it's made a right Thunderballs...up.

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Our team of movie nerds have been on Her Majesty's secret service

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to spot this year's brand new batch of movie clunkers.

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They're for your eyes only and, believe me, Dr No...one will...

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Sorry, I'm not going to do this for the whole show.

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When I said I want a James Bond style opening, I thought you'd

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give me fast cars, exotic locations and beautiful women,

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not a dodgy tux and bad puns.

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What, The Man With The Golden Pun? Yeah, very strong.

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Yeah, great. That's it, forget it. That's the last straw.

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Get Keith Lemon!

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That's better. There'll be no more of that nonsense.

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Instead, we're going to review clip after clip

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of the greatest movie mistakes from this year's films

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and my word is my bond.

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Hang on!

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Don't sequels just do your heads in?

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It seems that, nowadays, people can't just let a good thing happen

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without exploiting it over and over again.

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Repeating the same tired formula until there's nothing original left.

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At least that's what we think here at Movie Mistakes...Three.

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Statistically, sequels gross more at the box office

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than the first film in a series, so do prequels.

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So I've come up with a plan, make the second film first,

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then do the first film second, but because you've made the second film

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first, the second film, which is in fact the first film,

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will technically be a prequel. Ker-ching!

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The best thing about sequels is that they get to have subtitles.

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Terminator 2, Judgement Day, Babe 2 - Pig In The City,

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Garfield 2 - who allowed this to get made.

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The foreboding and climactic Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows.

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Here, the charmingly named Mundungus knocks over a stack of newspapers.

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Listen, I panicked...

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Daily Prophets everywhere.

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But, perhaps a special cleaning spell is used as, later on,

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we see the papers are neatly stacked again.

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Abracadabra? Abraca-bad-ra.

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Harry Potter critics say it became a little repetitive towards the end.

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-I think that's a bit unfair.

-They're after you, mate.

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Oh, hang on, that waitress covers the same piece of ground twice.

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What about all the people the wedding?

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There she goes...

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and there she goes again.

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Maybe they had a point after all.

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Helena Bonham Carter straddling Emma Watson is a sight to get any

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Harry Potter fan-boy hot and bothered, but not like that.

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I'm talking about this massive movie clunker.

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SHE SCREAMS

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She goes to carve into her right arm,

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then, suddenly, she's attacking her left.

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It's awful. There's not even any mud for them to fight in.

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Ah, pirates - making alcoholism fun!

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It's the boisterous Pirates Of The Caribbean 4.

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And, as Geoffrey Rush tilts his hollow leg high to get a drink,

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Jack Sparrow wants a taste.

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I want one of those.

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Sadly, his hands are tied and could never tilt the leg high enough.

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Here's to revenge - sweet and clear.

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Revenge.

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How'd he do that?

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Come, Hector.

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It's the flaccid Little Fockers

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and here's Jessica Alba dropping off Ben Stiller in a lovely

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car with black seats.

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-Are you sure you're going to be OK?

-Yeah.

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Well, it's not him you should worry about, it's your car

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because over night...the seats have turned white.

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You OK?

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Following the example of Dustin Hoffman's hair.

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Oh, it's the atmospheric Paranormal Activity 2.

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BANG

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And there's some spooky goings on in this household.

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Oh, keep an eye on the pots and pans hanging from the rack.

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That's enough.

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Oooh, they keep changing colour and shape.

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A poltergeist or cock-up?

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You decide.

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You know, it takes so much time and money

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to CGI those robots in Transformers,

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I'd just not bother putting them in every shot.

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I mean, who's going to notice?

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Unfortunately, we are!

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Keep an eye on this character, Brains, who transforms into

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thin air!

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Shame this film can't transform into a good one.

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That's what you love about me.

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You've got some BLEEP.

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It's annoying when there's loads of action going on.

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There's never time to shave, is there, Shia Labeouf?

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Especially when you're getting attacked by a flying robot.

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No!

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But, wait a second, he hasn't, has he?

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From Shia Labeouf to sheered Labeouf.

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You think you're a hero...

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It's near the end of transformers and time is tight.

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Who's the messenger?

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But look at this clock, it's got a mind of it's own.

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Starting at 2:20.

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It jumps back to 12:15...

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..and then back further to 11 o'clock.

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It's like Back To The Future, but with robots

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and without Michael J Fox.

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Actually, forget it, it's nothing like Back To The Future.

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Last clip from Transformers and lucky old sheered Labeouf is getting

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a snog from his latest supermodel girlfriend.

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But take a look at her mucky paws.

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I'm going to hold you to that.

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They keep changing from clean and over his shoulders,

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to dirty and on his face.

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The most popular genre of the moment seems to be the superheroes.

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Spiderman, Superman, Natalie Port-man, X-men, that's another one.

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I've always found their name confusing.

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X-men, they're ex-men. So they're women.

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If that's the case, I suppose that explains

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why I fancy Wolverine so very much.

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Everyone is quick to talk about superheroes, but no-one

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in interested in the real life heroes.

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For me, my hero in life has always been my old English teacher.

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He was caring and passionate, a real inspiration to all he taught

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and by night, he donned a mask and cape

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and went out and fought criminals.

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I'll never forget you, Mr Batman.

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Now it's time for breakneck action hit X-Men First Class.

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But that isn't a history class,

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as while they may be flashing back to 1944...

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that photo of Einstein was taken in 1947.

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Class dismissed.

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Here's James McAvoy as superhero, Professor Xavier.

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But every superhero has his weakness and for Xavier, it's windows.

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See that?

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I read the teleporter's mind.

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Ouch! He bangs his head against the glass.

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Curse you, window, I'll get you next time!

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I read the teleporter's mind.

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Now, James is rightly thinking twice

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about shooting his mate in the head.

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But look at the distance the gun is from his head,

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it changes with every shot.

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That's every shot of the camera, not of the gun, thankfully.

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No, I can't.

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Now have the animators made an error here? Look at Emma Frost -

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she's the one that's a woman.

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When she changes from diamonds back to human

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her hair style changes.

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Here it's loose.

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Now tied back.

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We don't harm our own kind.

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With her hair in that state, she must have been made from uncut diamonds.

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On to the let down that was Green Lantern

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and this guy is ecstatic because all day, he's been trying to keep

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his slippery headphones on his head and now he's finally made them...

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Oh. Oh well. Back to the drawing board.

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Take a look at Ryan Reynolds brown eyes.

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You know, you can't be a pilot if you're colour blind.

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Maybe they should have the same rule for casting directors because,

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according to this film, when he was younger, he had blue eyes.

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It's Ken Branagh's smart take on Thor.

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But where's the cock-up?

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As Dylan says, the answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.

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Look at that stiff breeze blowing their hair across their faces...

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that suddenly disappears... and it returns.

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Misquoting Dylan again, let's hope, at that height, they're not sitting on the eves of destruction.

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I try, I fail.

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I'm going to get everything back.

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In this scene, it's tipping it down with rain

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and everyone's getting soaking wet.

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Apart from the guy from The Hurt Locker,

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who keeps a dry face at all times.

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With that condition, he must get through a hell of a lot of Nivea.

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Thor, again, and an exciting moment where a coffee spills over.

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But there's no use crying over it because,

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in just a matter of seconds, it goes from being knocked over

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to upright again.

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Better latte than never.

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In my opinion, a good movie always leaves you asking questions.

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Who was Keyser Soze?

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How did Nice Guy Eddie get shot? And, dude, where is my car?

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but this selection of clunkers is so terrible, it will leave you

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asking only one question. What were they thinking?

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Very geeky comedy with the film Paul, now,

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and the invisible alien looks at Nick Frost's passport.

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But it should say British citizen and not British subject.

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Could be worse, it could be French subject.

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That was always my least favourite subject.

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He's from another world.

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Take a look at the green oven mitt on the wall.

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It's about to disappear.

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If it makes you feel any better, my existence...

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There it goes.

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That's the thing about sci-fi films, I mean, the rule book is thrown

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out of the window.

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# Amazing grace... #

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In fact, I bet they did it on purpose.

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I bet it represents something like, you know, us,

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like, are we really hear or are we just...

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Oh, yeah.

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Oh, never mind, it's back.

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Turns out it just represents a mistake they made.

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And now fireworks. Remember the code...

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That'll put us behind the tree...

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..light them at an arms length...

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Hey! Watch the fuse!

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..stand well back...

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That's not funny.

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..and take your head torch off twice.

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Arrh. Boom!

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But watch Pegg's head torch. He just lets it vanish.

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He's no responsible adult.

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Pretentious arty action in Hanna.

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Here, Cate Blanchett runs up a flight of stairs in comfy shoes,

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dropping her monkey head along the way.

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No time to worry about simian head gear, there's a child to chase.

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But, apparently, plenty of time to change shoes.

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Let's see that again.

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Before you can say, "Here come the girls," she's in boots!

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Here's Hanna herself and I know what you're thinking,

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Hanna was brought up as a trained assassin in isolation

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near the arctic circle, so how come she's got pierced ears?

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This movie has more holes than Hanna's lobes.

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Hanna's having a face-to-face chat with her friend Sophie,

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lying on her left hand side.

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And here's Sophie who, for some reason,

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appears to be also lying on her left side.

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So, how are they face-to-face?

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I like you.

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Look me in the eye and answer me!

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I'd like to have a friend.

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In the soppy Just Wright,

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Scott walks Leslie over to a covered object shaped very much like a car.

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She asks what it is and he reveals, to her great surprise...

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that it's a car.

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No, you didn't!

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But keep your eye on the antenna.

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It's visible even though the car's covered

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and doesn't move with the fabric.

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Just WRIGHT?! Just WRONG more, like!

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ROBERT WEBB CHUCKLES

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Here's the moribund Something Borrowed.

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Keep an eye on the girl on the far left fast asleep.

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Now she's wide awake and catching up on the latest gossip in Grazia.

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Can't have been a very interesting article because, look,

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sleeping on the job again. A bit like the continuity editor.

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On to the tongue-in-cheek Red now and here's lovely Helen Mirren

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looking glamorous,

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but then she could make a cheap plastic watch look glamorous.

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Which must be exactly what she's done

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as while the necklace sets off the metal detector,

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the watch doesn't.

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Still with Red and here,

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Bruce Willis gets a little help with his handcuffs.

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He's handed a key, but wait a second,

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the handcuffs aren't even locked.

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How much help do you need, Bruce?

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Do you want him to tie your shoelaces while he's at it?

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You can't beat watching a film in 3D.

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Not only do things jump out the screen at you,

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but when you get to any rude bits, you can do this. Ho-ho!

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3D films are making huge waves at the moment,

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but what will be the next step? 4D? 5D?

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Here at Movie Mistakes 3, we can reveal the latest

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technological advancement that's about to take Hollywood by storm -

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8D.

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I'm about to watch the latest Saw movie. OK!

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HE SCREAMS

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Turn it off! Turn it off!

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I think I'm going to stick to 2D.

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Dreary TRON: Legacy now and look at the dangerous driving.

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Surely he can't get away with this.

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He won't because the police have clocked him with a speed gun.

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But the police seem to have failed to spot the fact that everyone

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is driving the wrong way down that road.

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It's impossible to catch a cab in New York,

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so why not let a cab catch you?

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Watch out, here come the police.

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Here they are.

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You pay!

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And here they are again.

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Oh, he looks hard(!)

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As this poor lady's about to find out.

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You don't want to fight him.

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Look at the neon strip on her right leg.

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He's so tough, he can kick someone's trousers back to front.

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See, the strip is on the opposite side...

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and her side parting too.

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What a guy.

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A CGI Jeff Bridges speaks to his army of baddie motorcycle couriers.

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There's clearly no-one standing directly in front of him. Look.

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But the reflection in his visor suggests he's dead opposite him.

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He must have pushed his way to the front.

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What a crawler!

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Jackass 3D now and those hardcore lunatics

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take on one of my biggest fears - self-assembled furniture.

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Watch the corner of the room where the plant is,

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because in no time at all, they're going to put up...

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a bookcase!

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Jackass 3D is amazing.

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It really feels like they're bursting through your telly.

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See!

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Piranha 3D full of action, gore and mistakes.

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Here sheriff Elizabeth Shue falls in a big lake.

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Deputy fellow manages to get her out

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but moments later, she's bone dry. What a mistake.

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They should shoot the sheriff and the deputy for that one.

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Now, what's this idiot up to?

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You can't put a walkie-talkie in water.

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Oi, mate! They're not called swimmie-talkies, are they?

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It'll short-circuit.

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But in Piranha 3D anything can happen, even if it shouldn't.

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OK, I'm in.

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And the walkie-talkie works perfectly.

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'Do you copy?'

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The dim-witted Resident Evil: Afterlife

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and Milla Jovovich is taking down some baddies.

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As most ladies will tell you,

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although you may turn up at work in killer heels,

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keep a comfy pair of shoes in your bag, just in case you have to...

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you know, run up a wall.

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But like any good hero, she wants to be buried in her boots

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and her heels are back on.

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Back to killing baddies again

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and these zombies are almost on top of our heroes.

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But while everyone escapes, Milla stays to face certain doom.

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Oh, what a shame, Milla.

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All those things you wanted to do before you died

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and now there's no time.

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Oh, hold on, they're suddenly miles away.

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Hooray! Now you've got time to do that lifelong ambition -

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a bungee jump.

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Whoopee!

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That's pretty smart thinking.

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Now, this chap has a gun trained on Milla.

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Stop right there.

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And this other bloke looks nasty.

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There's no way out of this one.

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If only the gunman was as close enough to kick as those knives.

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Oh, now he is!

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Well, it was either that or grow telescopic legs.

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They say you should never meet your heroes,

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which I guess is why no-one ever comes up to me in the street

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and tells me how much they love my work.

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Thanks, guys. That means a lot(!)

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Everytime someone crosses the street to avoid meeting me,

0:20:360:20:39

I think to myself, "There goes a true fan."

0:20:390:20:42

The hard-boiled and vicious Mechanic goes a bit Weekend At Bernie's

0:20:480:20:52

as Jason Statham covers up his killing by making the corpse

0:20:520:20:56

swim a few more lengths.

0:20:560:20:57

But look at his grip on the dead man's wrists.

0:21:010:21:04

It should clearly be visible from above,

0:21:040:21:07

but it's not.

0:21:070:21:08

What would Bernie say?

0:21:080:21:11

Well, nothing. He's dead.

0:21:110:21:13

Angelina Jolie in the disjointed film Salt,

0:21:150:21:19

here climbs down a lift shaft.

0:21:190:21:21

Just a wait few minutes for the lift, you impatient madam.

0:21:230:21:26

Thankfully, she emerges from what must be

0:21:280:21:30

a filthy and greasy lift shaft

0:21:300:21:32

with a pristine white shirt and clean, spotless skin.

0:21:320:21:35

How does she do it?

0:21:350:21:37

It's the crackpot action movie Red

0:21:410:21:43

and Bruce Willis has kidnapped a lady and taped up her mouth.

0:21:430:21:47

But the more she gesticulates, the more we can see that

0:21:470:21:50

she has enough movement in her arms to take the tape off.

0:21:500:21:54

Maybe if she stopped complaining and thought a second she'd work it out.

0:21:540:21:58

I'm a little hungry too.

0:21:580:21:59

Moody revenge film Faster now and The Rock hears an eagle call.

0:22:010:22:06

# Who's that riding? #

0:22:080:22:10

Trouble is, the bird he's seeing is actually a seagull.

0:22:100:22:13

Maybe the seagull thinks it'll sound more impressive as an eagle.

0:22:150:22:20

A bit like calling yourself "The Rock,"

0:22:200:22:23

when your real name is Dwayne.

0:22:230:22:25

It's the best actor of his generation, 50 Cent,

0:22:280:22:32

in the very flat Blood Out

0:22:320:22:33

doing some incredible sunglasses acting.

0:22:330:22:36

Look good on you, man.

0:22:360:22:38

They do look good on him, don't they?

0:22:380:22:40

He should never take them off.

0:22:400:22:42

Oh, wait a minute, they've disappeared.

0:22:450:22:47

That's awful continuity if you want my 50 cents on the matter.

0:22:470:22:51

And now, major movie storyline faults

0:22:530:22:56

are reviewed and exposed in Great Pothole Mistakes.

0:22:560:23:01

In the spooky and surprising Sixth Sense,

0:23:010:23:03

Bruce Willis plays Dr Malcolm Crowe,

0:23:030:23:05

a child psychologist who gets shot by a former patient

0:23:050:23:08

and, ten months later, befriends a troubled young boy

0:23:080:23:11

who can see dead people.

0:23:110:23:13

One of whom, it turns out, is Dr Crowe, raising the question

0:23:130:23:16

how good a doctor is he that it took him ten months

0:23:160:23:19

to diagnose his own death?

0:23:190:23:20

Surely there were clues.

0:23:200:23:22

Like his wife crying into her dinner for one.

0:23:240:23:27

Or when she went to a funeral he wasn't invited to.

0:23:270:23:29

Or when she took up starfishing in bed.

0:23:290:23:33

And then there must have been his sudden lack of bar presence,

0:23:330:23:36

and having is phone cut off and not needing the toilet.

0:23:360:23:40

And being able to go to the flicks without paying.

0:23:430:23:45

And even if his unrequited sexual advances towards his wife

0:23:470:23:51

were nothing new, surely when she made the bed with him still in it

0:23:510:23:55

he must have wondered what the blazes was afoot.

0:23:550:23:59

"Sorry, I'm still here."

0:23:590:24:01

You stole the distinctive autumnal tones of my seminal movie.

0:24:010:24:05

Be gone!

0:24:050:24:06

Awards - what are they good for?

0:24:090:24:12

Plumping up the already inflated egos of pampered performers.

0:24:120:24:15

Rewarding someone for doing a job they've already been paid

0:24:150:24:18

far too much money to do in the first place.

0:24:180:24:20

As if all performers have a pathetic obsession with recognition.

0:24:200:24:24

Awards are a complete sham, a massive waste of time

0:24:240:24:27

and, as I stated very loudly at this year's Annual Clip Show Awards,

0:24:270:24:30

I'm not interested in stupid awards and, yes, we have been passed over

0:24:300:24:34

yet again and, yes, I may have been removed by security

0:24:340:24:37

for causing a scene, but there is no way that

0:24:370:24:39

Animal Foul Ups deserved to win again.

0:24:390:24:42

Speaking of awards, here are some Oscar-nominated clips.

0:24:420:24:46

Inception - where strange things happen almost without explanation.

0:24:500:24:53

That's not the way I deal with things.

0:24:530:24:56

Maybe that's how you justify the rain on the window behind Saito.

0:24:560:25:00

But there's no rain on DiCaprio.

0:25:000:25:02

And the continuity editor is thrown off the building

0:25:030:25:07

-for one too many errors.

-What will you do with him?

-Nothing.

0:25:070:25:10

You'd have thought working on Inception would be a dream job.

0:25:100:25:13

Now a maths lesson from revealing biopic The Social Network.

0:25:180:25:21

Facebook's run by some of the greatest business minds in the world.

0:25:210:25:25

So these numbers will be meticulously crunched.

0:25:250:25:28

Let's listen to how their business is divided up.

0:25:280:25:31

That represents a 34.4% ownership share.

0:25:310:25:34

So Eduardo owns 34.4%.

0:25:340:25:38

-You should know that Mark has already taken his percentage from 60 down to 51.

-Oh.

0:25:380:25:43

Zuckerberg owns 51%.

0:25:430:25:45

Who else is in?

0:25:450:25:47

Dustin Moskovitz owns 6.81%,

0:25:470:25:49

Sean Parker 6.47% and Peter Thiel 7%.

0:25:490:25:55

Total 105%!

0:25:550:25:57

Would you like to use my pen?

0:25:570:26:00

Would you like to use my calculator?

0:26:000:26:03

Ooh, the brutal and uncompromising Black Swan now

0:26:070:26:10

and check out Natalie Portman's scarf.

0:26:100:26:13

Did she kill a white swan to make it?

0:26:130:26:15

Anyway, she's about to step through a magical door.

0:26:150:26:18

Why is it a magical door?

0:26:180:26:20

Because as she steps through it, her scarf's no longer round her neck.

0:26:200:26:25

It's like a very low rent Mr Benn.

0:26:260:26:29

The Fighter is so full of clangers, it makes me want to hurt someone.

0:26:330:26:38

Not Marky Mark obviously, he's a bit tough.

0:26:380:26:41

And not Bale, the lunatic!

0:26:410:26:43

But Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots would help vent my frustrations.

0:26:450:26:49

It's good, Dick. I'm just trying to figure out what's best for me.

0:26:490:26:53

Where have they gone? I wasn't going to break them.

0:26:540:26:58

I'm sorry, I don't know who you are or why you're taking.

0:26:580:27:02

Oh, back now. Well, if you're going to be like that I don't want them.

0:27:020:27:06

We're together. Do we need to do this again? Hi, I'm Charlene.

0:27:060:27:09

In the emotional King's Speech,

0:27:110:27:14

the Monarch struggles with a speech impediment.

0:27:140:27:17

However, his missus Queen Bonham Carter has her own struggles.

0:27:170:27:22

Her veil keeps moving on its own accord.

0:27:220:27:24

First it's down...

0:27:240:27:27

Indentured servitude?

0:27:270:27:28

..then it's up...

0:27:280:27:31

Well, we need to have your hubby pop by.

0:27:310:27:34

-Tuesday would be good.

-..then it's down.

0:27:340:27:37

They should make a film of that - The Queen's Manic Depressive Veil.

0:27:370:27:41

Greetings, bold traveller. Far have you journeyed in the search

0:27:430:27:46

of mistakes from the realm of fantasy films and weary must ye be,

0:27:460:27:50

but finally ye shall be rewarded with what ye seek.

0:27:500:27:53

First I will need drop of monk's wood from the vial of crisal wood

0:27:530:27:57

to unlock the spell... Oh, stop this. Just play the clips.

0:27:570:28:00

Here are the fantasy film mistakes. Yeah. No, over there.

0:28:000:28:05

Over to Narnia and the exciting and epic Voyage Of The Dawn Treader.

0:28:080:28:12

Look behind our brave explorers That door is firmly closed. How can they get in?

0:28:120:28:18

Oh, it's already open and now we HEAR it opening.

0:28:200:28:23

DOOR GRUNDLES OPEN

0:28:230:28:25

Narnia's a confusing place. What next, a talking lion?

0:28:250:28:30

What's your least favourite season? Autumn? Winter?

0:28:330:28:37

Mine is The Season Of The Witch.

0:28:370:28:40

That felt longer than both autumn and winter put together.

0:28:400:28:42

Now, look at the boy's sword.

0:28:420:28:45

Did you spot it? Let's see that again.

0:28:460:28:50

Perhaps you can be of service.

0:28:500:28:52

The sword swaps hands. Witchcraft, or maybe glitch craft?

0:28:550:29:00

The actors in this half-hearted and messy take on Red Riding Hood

0:29:030:29:07

must be a bit chilly.

0:29:070:29:10

It's clearly the middle of winter,

0:29:100:29:12

but everyone's wearing short-sleeved garments.

0:29:120:29:14

Rumours that this film was shot on a Saturday night out in Newcastle have yet to be confirmed.

0:29:160:29:20

Clint Eastwood's flawed fantasy Hereafter now, and in this scene,

0:29:240:29:29

an expert is telling us about the great Charles Dickens.

0:29:290:29:32

Over here on this wall we have several illustrations for The Mystery of Edward Drood...

0:29:320:29:38

Oh dear. I hate to be a know-it-all,

0:29:380:29:40

but I think you'll find it was The Mystery of Edwin Drood, not Edward Drood.

0:29:400:29:44

To think I had such great expectations for this film.

0:29:440:29:48

This is the film Your Highness,

0:29:510:29:54

and this poor, helpless maiden is tied down so tightly she can barely move.

0:29:540:30:00

But at the end of the scene, she's able to sit up quite easily whilst still being tied down.

0:30:020:30:08

Your Highness, the film that hits an all-time lowness.

0:30:080:30:14

I always say the key to a successful double act is having two people...

0:30:160:30:21

From my experience, if you want to create a successful double act,

0:30:210:30:24

and you're not very cool,

0:30:240:30:25

find someone who is much less cool than you,

0:30:250:30:28

and then you'll be known as the cool one.

0:30:280:30:30

Some Hollywood double acts work so well together, it's hard to imagine one without the other.

0:30:300:30:35

Tom Hank and Meg Ryan, Brad and Angelina,

0:30:350:30:37

Lindsay Lohan and her parole officer.

0:30:370:30:40

But my favourite double act has got to be Superman and Clark Kent.

0:30:400:30:45

What?

0:30:450:30:46

How can they be the same person? They don't look anything alike.

0:30:470:30:50

He just wears glasses?!

0:30:500:30:53

That is so... So clever.

0:30:530:30:55

OK, then it's got to be Spiderman and Peter Parker.

0:30:550:30:59

The surprisingly dark Love And Other Drugs now,

0:31:010:31:05

and watch Anne Hathaway's arm.

0:31:050:31:07

It's under the pillow behind Jake Gyllenhaal's arm,

0:31:070:31:09

then it pops up before tucking itself back behind the pillow

0:31:090:31:14

like his arm's made of nothing.

0:31:140:31:16

Also, she's not pointing and laughing,

0:31:160:31:18

which in my experience is what women normally do after sex. Right?

0:31:180:31:22

Here's a scene from the goofy Dinner for Schmucks, and just keep an eye on her ears.

0:31:240:31:29

He wants me to curate it.

0:31:290:31:30

Oh, my God!

0:31:300:31:32

She's lost her earrings!

0:31:320:31:34

You call a guy a douche and you get your first museum show out of it.

0:31:340:31:37

Now they're back.

0:31:370:31:38

I love you so much. You're stunning, smart and awful with pronunciation.

0:31:380:31:43

Now they've gone again!

0:31:430:31:45

Apparently she's wearing a new type of jewellery.

0:31:450:31:48

Disappear-rings!

0:31:480:31:51

I love you.

0:31:510:31:52

Oh, my God.

0:31:560:31:58

Here, Steve Carrel wrestles Paul Rudd away from a lift.

0:31:580:32:02

I think we need to cool off...

0:32:020:32:03

Gosh, I hate when that happens.

0:32:030:32:05

Look, he's grabbing him by the arm.

0:32:050:32:08

He's got his arm.

0:32:080:32:09

And then suddenly... it's his right leg!

0:32:090:32:14

What a joke.

0:32:140:32:16

Paul Rudd's not the only one having his leg pulled around here.

0:32:160:32:19

THEY GRUNT AND MOAN

0:32:190:32:22

You are welcome.

0:32:220:32:23

In this bit, Steve Carrel changes his specs

0:32:280:32:31

so he can dress a mouse for its impending marriage.

0:32:310:32:35

Nice cameo by Stuart Little.

0:32:400:32:44

But when he removes the magnifying glasses...

0:32:450:32:48

Oops, his normal glasses are still on.

0:32:480:32:52

What a mouse-stake to make.

0:32:520:32:53

At the schmucks' dinner itself,

0:32:570:33:00

watch out for the lady in the purple dress, who's in two places at once.

0:33:000:33:05

Here she is.

0:33:080:33:10

And now she's over here too.

0:33:100:33:12

Incredible! At least she can pass herself the salt.

0:33:120:33:16

Here, Steve plays such a schmuck that he walks straight into a pond and gets his trousers wet.

0:33:240:33:30

But hang on.

0:33:300:33:31

They're already wet before he goes in from a previous take.

0:33:310:33:36

When they said this comedy was pant-wetting,

0:33:360:33:38

I thought they meant it was funny!

0:33:380:33:41

Oh, the usual scene.

0:33:430:33:45

A man asleep in the bath with his hand down the toilet.

0:33:450:33:49

This is the predictable Just Go With It,

0:33:490:33:53

which was the editor probably said when he saw that the toilet seat was down instead of up on the next shot.

0:33:530:33:59

Just go with it. No-one will notice.

0:34:010:34:03

I mean, that kid's not noticed, and he's sat on a man's hand.

0:34:050:34:09

Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler play plastic surgeons,

0:34:110:34:16

but maybe it's their movie that needs corrective surgery.

0:34:160:34:19

I think that's enough. Do you feel that?

0:34:190:34:22

No.

0:34:220:34:23

One moment Sandler is wearing rubber gloves, and then suddenly...

0:34:230:34:26

..they've gone!

0:34:260:34:28

That bra is the perfect size, Sandler,

0:34:280:34:31

Cos you've just made one massive boob.

0:34:310:34:33

Film animals are intensively-trained creatures

0:34:370:34:40

who behave exactly the way the director wants them to.

0:34:400:34:43

-But sometimes corners are cut.

-The pig is tasting my body!

0:34:430:34:46

No, he's not.

0:34:460:34:48

He should be saying, "The pig is eating the food that I've smeared all over my back to attract it."

0:34:480:34:54

The pig's the one who's least at fault.

0:34:540:34:56

The pig is tasting my body!

0:34:560:34:58

Action films now. None of your namby-pamby romance or any of that girly stuff.

0:35:000:35:06

Films for blokes, full of explosions and fights and guns.

0:35:060:35:09

Films for real men. Real men like me!

0:35:090:35:12

Are you talking to me?! Are you talking to me?!

0:35:120:35:15

Oh, you are talking to me.

0:35:150:35:17

What... We can't have the gun. Health and safety. Oh, OK.

0:35:170:35:21

GUN BLASTS

0:35:210:35:22

And talking of being sorry,

0:35:230:35:25

I got kicked out of my local cinema the other week

0:35:250:35:27

after I went up to the lady at the ticket kiosk and told her I was looking for a bit of action.

0:35:270:35:31

I only wanted a ticket to see the new Jason Statham film.

0:35:310:35:35

Well, that's what I told the police anyway.

0:35:350:35:37

Nice vest.

0:35:390:35:41

It's the ridiculous The Expendables,

0:35:410:35:44

where the most expendable thing is that vest.

0:35:440:35:47

Sly got on board wearing it...

0:35:490:35:51

Now it's off.

0:35:510:35:53

He hangs up his guns...

0:35:540:35:56

And it's on again.

0:35:590:36:00

And then it isn't.

0:36:010:36:03

I haven't seen this much vest removal since Take That at Wembley in 1995.

0:36:030:36:08

Cockney legend Statham starting some aggro with some sweaty crims.

0:36:120:36:17

Here he is pokin' along on his bike in his levver jacket and 'elmet.

0:36:170:36:21

That'll take a while to take off.

0:36:210:36:24

But in an instant his trouble and strife is strolling away wiv his gear.

0:36:250:36:30

Would you Adam and Eve it?

0:36:300:36:32

A horrible scene of torture from The Expendables,

0:36:370:36:40

but not as horrible as this goof.

0:36:400:36:43

SHE SCREAMS

0:36:440:36:46

MAN SPEAKS IN SPANISH

0:36:460:36:47

She gives a defiant kick to her captors...

0:36:470:36:50

THEY SPEAK IN SPANISH

0:36:530:36:55

However, when she falls, you can see that her legs are tied together.

0:36:550:36:59

Maybe the director was too tied up to notice this. Thanks again. Thanks.

0:36:590:37:03

Cameron Diaz, in the straightforward and predictable Knight And Day,

0:37:050:37:09

is being harassed by this villain in his neat beard.

0:37:090:37:14

Wow, that beard could make any self-respecting man jealous.

0:37:140:37:19

But not as much as his ability to grow a full beard later that day.

0:37:190:37:25

Blimey. I can't even do Movember.

0:37:250:37:28

Here's Angelina Jolie as Salt in the far-fetched Salt.

0:37:300:37:35

Now, too much salt is bad for you, so let's keep this short.

0:37:360:37:39

Here she's brought along an ashtray and a packet of fags.

0:37:390:37:43

What about your insides, Salt?

0:37:430:37:45

-I need to get to the phone.

-No, no, no.

0:37:450:37:47

Someone should really hide them. Oh, they have!

0:37:470:37:51

But you can't fool Salt. She finds them again.

0:37:510:37:54

Her IQ is as high as her blood pressure.

0:37:540:37:56

Looks like Salt's about to get on a bouncy castle.

0:37:580:38:02

She knows the rules. No shoes.

0:38:020:38:05

That's right. Put them neatly behind you.

0:38:050:38:09

But in the CCTV shot, they're scattered all over the place.

0:38:090:38:12

No party bag for you!

0:38:120:38:15

In this climactic scene, Salt... Spoiler alert!

0:38:190:38:23

..kills the Russian president.

0:38:230:38:25

And speaking of spoiling things, take a look at the dead pres.

0:38:250:38:29

We need a medical crew down in the crypt.

0:38:290:38:31

No need to look for a pulse. His eyes can tell you he's totally fine.

0:38:310:38:35

They say dead men don't talk, but apparently they do blink.

0:38:380:38:42

Now, this is the melodramatic Sanctum,

0:38:450:38:48

and you'll need to watch very carefully.

0:38:480:38:51

Something the director failed to do when they picked a stuntman.

0:38:520:38:56

Look, a watch in this shot and no watch during the stunt.

0:38:560:39:01

I wouldn't give this movie the time of day.

0:39:040:39:07

I always thought that box office number ones

0:39:110:39:13

were what the staff at the multiplex did when they had too many fizzy drinks.

0:39:130:39:17

It turns out I was just wrong about that.

0:39:170:39:21

Anyway, the mistakes you're about to see are all from movies which raked in the most money

0:39:210:39:25

and were Top of the Pops in the week of their release.

0:39:250:39:27

Rumours that Fast Five only got there through charging £250 a ticket are unsubstantiated.

0:39:270:39:34

It's the mawkish Due Date, and Robert Downey Jr's looking cool.

0:39:370:39:42

Peter... OK, listen.

0:39:420:39:46

He's even got those light-sensitive sunglasses.

0:39:460:39:48

Though this scene must have been filmed on a very changeable day,

0:39:480:39:51

as his glasses go from very dark to...

0:39:510:39:54

-I just didn't want to go...

-..completely gone.

0:39:550:39:57

Proof that the director also needed specs.

0:39:570:40:00

We say a deathly hallow to Harry Potter and chums

0:40:020:40:06

in this lively scene where they're transported from a fiery tent...

0:40:060:40:10

to the safety of...

0:40:100:40:11

oncoming traffic.

0:40:110:40:14

But look again.

0:40:140:40:15

Harry's is on Hermione's left and Ron on her right.

0:40:150:40:20

But when they reappear, it's the other way round.

0:40:210:40:25

In this gory scene from the disappointing Little Fockers,

0:40:270:40:30

Ben Stiller slices straight through his finger,

0:40:300:40:34

making Bobby De Niro Bloody De Niro.

0:40:340:40:37

THEY ALL SCREAM

0:40:370:40:39

But there's blood on the right side of his face when earlier it was all over his left.

0:40:400:40:45

That's not just blood on your face, Bobby. There's egg on it too.

0:40:470:40:50

The Expendables, and Sly Stallone's got a gun ready to use

0:40:540:40:57

in an exciting escape from some bad men.

0:40:570:41:02

BRAKES SCREECH

0:41:020:41:03

I worry that these days Sly's mind is not what it used to be.

0:41:050:41:11

Look, he's forgotten that he should be holding the gun,

0:41:110:41:14

not having it in his belt.

0:41:140:41:15

But once Statham shouts the magic words, the gun's back...

0:41:150:41:20

for Sly to throw away.

0:41:200:41:21

A clever scene from Transformers

0:41:240:41:26

with real footage of President Nixon on the TV.

0:41:260:41:29

And they've carefully recreated the set to match it.

0:41:290:41:33

However, was it too much of a push to get a lamp?

0:41:330:41:37

It's here but not here.

0:41:370:41:40

No, that would've been a giant leap too far.

0:41:400:41:43

Fast paced sci-fi thrills in Limitless,

0:41:450:41:48

and for a man with no limits,

0:41:480:41:50

Bradley Cooper really struggles with the little things.

0:41:500:41:53

Like sitting down on a chair properly.

0:41:530:41:56

Oh, come on, don't cry. Look, the chair's back up again!

0:41:590:42:02

You can have another go!

0:42:020:42:04

My mother always used to say,

0:42:080:42:10

"Never fly-kick a man with a massive hammer in the face."

0:42:100:42:13

Sadly, Milla's mum didn't, which is bad news,

0:42:130:42:16

because this man is going to hit Milla with the massive hammer.

0:42:160:42:21

However, it's not all bad, because at least he hit her into a nice, soft bouncy wall.

0:42:210:42:27

See? Every hammer has a silver lining.

0:42:290:42:31

Now this girl's in pursuit.

0:42:350:42:38

She slides underneath, shooting him as she goes.

0:42:380:42:41

But wait.

0:42:410:42:43

Look, that hammer's going to land on her!

0:42:430:42:45

Phew. Saved by a continuity error.

0:42:450:42:49

MC Hammer snuffs it and she's not even there.

0:42:490:42:53

Adrenalin-pumping Fast Five now, and when robbing a bank,

0:42:580:43:02

attention to detail really counts.

0:43:020:43:05

Here the safe's unlocked with a right-hand print.

0:43:050:43:08

Young Mia then goes to extreme measures,

0:43:130:43:16

grabbing his print on her bikini.

0:43:160:43:18

But it's the left hand.

0:43:200:43:22

That shouldn't work, then. Caught you red-handed AND red-faced!

0:43:220:43:27

-So did he just slap that

-BLEEP

-or did he grab and hold onto it?

0:43:270:43:32

The only thing that keeps me on the edge of my seat more than

0:43:340:43:36

watching a good thriller is a really, really small seat.

0:43:360:43:40

I love a good thriller - it's my favourite genre of film.

0:43:400:43:43

It's also a Michael Jackson album title.

0:43:430:43:46

I also like films that are bad, dangerous or simply off the wall!

0:43:460:43:50

HE LAUGHS

0:43:500:43:53

Now the fraught and claustrophobic Buried.

0:43:560:44:00

Here, Ryan Reynolds unties his hands and removes the gag around his neck.

0:44:000:44:05

But then out of nowhere...

0:44:050:44:07

..the gag's back around his neck!

0:44:110:44:13

For a film full of gags, it's just not funny.

0:44:130:44:17

Now Ryan grabs a pen and writes with his left hand.

0:44:210:44:24

But when the shot changes, it's suddenly his right.

0:44:250:44:28

So as well as being a big Hollywood star, he's also ambidextrous!

0:44:280:44:32

Talk about buried talent!

0:44:330:44:36

It's the gripping and gritty film The Town.

0:44:400:44:43

The thing about towns nowadays is that businesses can change

0:44:430:44:47

so quickly, can't they?

0:44:470:44:49

Look at the bar across the road from this flower shop.

0:44:490:44:53

-It's called Fitzgerald's, right?

-I'm in.

0:44:550:44:57

I have this.

0:44:570:44:59

Well, not any more, because we see the bar is now called The Junction.

0:44:590:45:03

Sounds like a naff gastropub to me.

0:45:030:45:06

Matthew McConaughey in the solidly crafted Lincoln Lawyer.

0:45:080:45:13

-Get the hell out of my house.

-Take that, M Dog!

0:45:130:45:15

I told you my son didn't kill...

0:45:150:45:17

Lucky it was his left arm so he can shoot right back at her.

0:45:170:45:19

Oh, hang on, that's his right arm in the sling.

0:45:270:45:31

Sue the doctors for malpractice, Matthew,

0:45:310:45:34

and then get a better lawyer than yourself to represent you.

0:45:340:45:37

I thought I told you to be careful.

0:45:370:45:39

Onto the intriguing Adjustment Bureau

0:45:440:45:47

and Matt Damon has a phone in his coffee.

0:45:470:45:49

Personally I prefer milk and sugar.

0:45:490:45:51

-'You won't believe who I just ran into?'

-Who?

-'The girl from...'

0:45:510:45:54

But what's this? Moments later, he's talking on a different phone.

0:45:540:45:58

The one you kissed?

0:45:580:45:59

-However, keep watching as during the same conversation...

-Whatever, dude.

0:45:590:46:02

-It won't work again.

-..he's back on the BlackBerry.

0:46:020:46:06

And you didn't write it?

0:46:060:46:08

Now Matt's looking at an article so good they've printed it twice.

0:46:110:46:16

See, it's the same chunk of text here and here.

0:46:160:46:21

How lazy to just repeat the same thing over again.

0:46:210:46:24

How lazy to just repeat the same thing over again.

0:46:240:46:27

It's torturous suspense flick The Resident.

0:46:290:46:32

And weirdo Max has snuck into Juliet's bedroom to get some

0:46:320:46:35

kind of creepy thrill from not quite touching her.

0:46:350:46:38

However, the really odd bit is Juliet lying on her side...

0:46:400:46:44

then instantly she's on her back.

0:46:440:46:47

You've been out-weirded, Max!

0:46:470:46:49

Go back home and count your toenail clippings collection.

0:46:490:46:52

ALARM BEEPS

0:46:540:46:55

Oh, no! It's 8:27am and Juliet's overslept.

0:46:550:46:59

Hurry up, Juliet, get your trousers on. It's awful when you oversleep.

0:47:010:47:06

You just can't get your brain into gear.

0:47:060:47:08

And Juliet's not got her brain into gear as she's making a call

0:47:100:47:13

when her phone is clearly still locked.

0:47:130:47:16

I seriously overslept.

0:47:170:47:19

Now, an abysmal film,

0:47:230:47:25

The Roommate, where the roommates in question take a photo of themselves.

0:47:250:47:29

That shot will look great on the shared house wall.

0:47:290:47:32

Shame they get a different picture from the wrong angle then.

0:47:320:47:36

And if they can't agree on that, it'll be murder

0:47:360:47:39

when they do the cleaning rota.

0:47:390:47:41

It's the contrived mystery movie Unknown.

0:47:440:47:47

And here's an quick science lesson - what happens when you use something

0:47:470:47:52

that gives out an electric shock on something that's soaking wet?

0:47:520:47:55

A nasty electric shock for everyone concerned.

0:47:580:48:01

However, concern is not something these ambulance men seem to have.

0:48:010:48:06

In Unknown, Diane Kruger gets knocked unconscious with chloroform.

0:48:090:48:15

But when one of her eyes is opened to check she's out, the other one opens as well.

0:48:150:48:19

Blink and you'd miss it.

0:48:190:48:21

Wink and you'd be better for the part than Diane.

0:48:210:48:24

And now another movie storyline's faults are reviewed

0:48:270:48:30

and exposed in Great Plothole Mistakes.

0:48:300:48:33

In the exhausting action-packed thrill-fest

0:48:330:48:37

that is Raiders of the Lost Ark,

0:48:370:48:39

it's 1936 and celebrated archaeologist Dr Indiana Jones

0:48:390:48:43

is approached by army intelligence.

0:48:430:48:44

They tell him that Hitler's obsession with the occult has led him to seek the Ark of the Covenant,

0:48:440:48:49

a sacred relic containing the wrath of God.

0:48:490:48:52

In our version, Indy says, "Listen, guys, I just got back from Peru.

0:48:520:48:57

"I've been chased by a massive ball. I'm shattered.

0:48:570:49:00

"I've got lots of post to open, the garden's been neglected

0:49:000:49:03

"and this hat needs dry cleaning. I might give this one a miss."

0:49:030:49:06

"But the Ark of the Covenant, Dr Jones!" "Yeah, you know what?

0:49:060:49:09

"It won't make much difference whether I go or not."

0:49:090:49:13

So while Indy stays at home and gets his stuff sorted,

0:49:130:49:15

the Nazis get the Ark undisturbed,

0:49:150:49:19

transport it from Egypt all the way back to Berlin where

0:49:190:49:22

a triumphant Fuhrer pops the lid in front of his evil acolytes.

0:49:220:49:26

"Oh, goody!" And it melts his stupid face off, averting World War II.

0:49:260:49:31

Comedy now. People have a lot of theories about comedy.

0:49:350:49:39

They say tragedy plus time equals comedy.

0:49:390:49:42

But Bambi came out years ago and every time I watch it,

0:49:420:49:45

I bawl my eyes out. But then my mother was a dear.

0:49:450:49:48

They also say it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile.

0:49:480:49:52

No wonder I felt so exhausted watching Cheaper By The Dozen 2.

0:49:520:49:57

But most importantly, they say the secret of comedy is timing.

0:49:570:50:01

Knowing the exact moment to say something hilarious.

0:50:030:50:07

Actually, thinking about it, timing isn't quite as important as having something funny to say.

0:50:090:50:13

Sorry.

0:50:130:50:15

Junior Suite...

0:50:170:50:19

It's quirky and unusual Cedar Rapids where Tim is staying 112.

0:50:190:50:25

It's strange then that when Dean arrives, he says...

0:50:250:50:27

Double stock my minibar, please, 1019. Thank you.

0:50:270:50:32

Because, look, he's also staying in 112 with Tim and also Ronald.

0:50:320:50:36

Someone in 1019 is going to get a nice surprise.

0:50:360:50:40

Now notice all the climbers on the wall with Tim are securely

0:50:430:50:47

tied on with ropes and harnesses to avoid falling off.

0:50:470:50:52

Or suddenly inexplicably vanishing.

0:50:520:50:55

Low brow and proud of it, it's Hall Pass

0:50:580:51:01

and I do wish that that guy would stop flashing his chest about.

0:51:010:51:05

His shirt agrees and has taken it upon itself to button up.

0:51:050:51:09

It's one of those self-fastening shirts.

0:51:100:51:13

The trouble with those is that they've got a habit of...

0:51:130:51:17

-Yeah, it's unbuttoned again.

-I gotta get going.

0:51:170:51:20

We have a team meeting in 20 minutes.

0:51:200:51:22

Best do it up yourself, yeah, fella.

0:51:220:51:24

Sam Jackson and The Rock are wearing no ordinary medals

0:51:260:51:31

in this frantic comedy, The Other Guys, they're mood medals.

0:51:310:51:35

And we'd do it again and again.

0:51:350:51:37

They disappear when they get angry.

0:51:370:51:39

-If we want to hear you talk, I will shove my arm up your

-BLEEP

0:51:390:51:42

and work your mouth like a puppet! You hear me?! You hear me?

0:51:420:51:45

And reappear when they're happy again. See?

0:51:450:51:48

Either that or someone's been "medalling" - thanks - with the props.

0:51:480:51:52

A police officer must always know where his gun is.

0:51:560:52:00

However, Will Ferrell has forgotten his golden rule -

0:52:000:52:03

he's rolling around on top of it.

0:52:030:52:05

Only for it to return to his holster moments later.

0:52:070:52:11

Here, Will Ferrell is in a violent rage with Alan Partridge.

0:52:150:52:21

They say you can't reproduce truly great art,

0:52:210:52:23

but when Will takes this mediocre squiggle off the wall,

0:52:230:52:26

an exact reproduction immediately takes its place.

0:52:260:52:29

The very raw comedy Horrible Bosses.

0:52:320:52:35

Jamie Foxx is given a suitcase full of money.

0:52:360:52:40

Well, a bit of money.

0:52:400:52:41

Anyway, he'd best latch the suitcase all the same. Good man.

0:52:410:52:45

But spool forward a bit...

0:52:470:52:49

and the latches are undone again.

0:52:490:52:52

With all that cash, you'd think he'd be able to buy a better suitcase.

0:52:520:52:56

One of my favourites, Big Momma 3, with an angry woman

0:52:580:53:02

covered in white foam making a mess of the door.

0:53:020:53:05

-Never mind. Here's Big Momma's peerless acting skills.

-Me?!

0:53:070:53:10

-Well, thank you, sure.

-But who's cleaned up that door?

0:53:100:53:15

What a shame. This silly blunder ruins an otherwise perfect film(!)

0:53:150:53:20

Historical movies are a personal favourite of mine.

0:53:220:53:25

I often picture myself cast in a lavish version of a classic Jane Austen movie -

0:53:250:53:30

Mr Darcy in a drenched shirt, open to the waist,

0:53:300:53:32

climbing out of the water, whilst watching, in anticipation,

0:53:320:53:35

dressed in a gorgeous bodice, holding a parasol, there I am.

0:53:350:53:39

"Oh, Mr Darcy!" That's how I'd do it.

0:53:390:53:43

Oscar fodder with the classy remake of True Grit.

0:53:460:53:51

And times sure were tough in 19th-century Texas.

0:53:510:53:54

Unless, that is, you're the heroine Mattie Ross

0:53:540:53:57

and you have the amazing ability to go from soaking wet...

0:53:570:54:00

..to bone dry in ten seconds flat.

0:54:080:54:10

Consumer issues now and here,

0:54:140:54:16

Jeff Bridges shows his disgust with the corn bread

0:54:160:54:18

in his bargain bucket

0:54:180:54:20

by spilling them out of the bag and shooting them.

0:54:200:54:23

Luckily, it's Colonel Sanders' disappearing corn -

0:54:230:54:26

it's nowhere to be seen.

0:54:260:54:27

Well, he won't have to waste any more precious bullets.

0:54:310:54:33

A ropey gaff now. See that chap hanging around in the branches?

0:54:370:54:41

One minute he's top of the tree, next he's swinging a lot lower.

0:54:410:54:46

How Jeff Bridges doesn't twig, I'll never know.

0:54:460:54:49

Frivolous grave robbing jokery with Burke and Hare,

0:54:530:54:56

and here's Simon Pegg chatting up her off of Home & Away.

0:54:560:54:59

-When will I be able to see you again, Jenny?

-At the Lyceum Theatre.

0:54:590:55:04

-Really? When?

-When we put...

0:55:040:55:06

Maybe in 55 years' time, when the Lyceum Theatre is actually built.

0:55:060:55:10

-Goodnight, William.

-That's certainly one way to ditch a guy.

0:55:100:55:13

Burke and Hare are chopping down a tree to stop a coach.

0:55:190:55:22

And who's inside? Urgh!

0:55:240:55:27

If I saw a coach with Michael Winner inside, I wouldn't want to stop it.

0:55:270:55:31

But they've only made a tiny dent at chest height.

0:55:310:55:34

Come on, put your back into it!

0:55:340:55:36

However, this being the crazy world of true life drama, the entire tree comes tumbling down.

0:55:360:55:42

Uh-oh. The winner takes a fall.

0:55:420:55:45

-Hmm, that table looks a little bare.

-Lovely.

0:55:540:55:57

I know what's missing - she forgot the flowers.

0:55:580:56:02

Oh, there they are.

0:56:020:56:03

-Thank you.

-Bit of an odd side dish, though.

0:56:030:56:06

Here's BAFTA-winning actor Tom Wilkinson

0:56:110:56:13

unveiling my nominees for the best actor in the movie Burke and Hare.

0:56:130:56:17

But which corpse wins? None of them!

0:56:190:56:22

The award goes to the incredible moving blanket.

0:56:220:56:26

First the corpses are uncovered -

0:56:260:56:29

quick round of applause -

0:56:290:56:32

then one of them is covered up again.

0:56:320:56:34

A bravura performance!

0:56:350:56:38

Solving a crime, sir.

0:56:440:56:45

The cream of British talent drops some home-grown blunders here.

0:56:450:56:49

What on earth are you talking about?

0:56:490:56:52

There's Ronnie Corbett - not a mistake, he actually is that small.

0:56:520:56:55

I don't know what this little man is trying to prove.

0:56:550:56:59

-Stephen Merchant plays goldfish bowl holder 4.

-I want him removed.

0:56:590:57:03

-It is you, sir!

-And now Tim Curry, co-starring with his teeth.

0:57:030:57:07

But ignore them and watch his background. He steps forward.

0:57:100:57:13

But look, the background remains the same,

0:57:150:57:19

suggesting he didn't step forward at all.

0:57:190:57:22

We shall all have to pay the price.

0:57:220:57:24

And now Merchant's bowl has disappeared.

0:57:240:57:28

And to think he was chief bowl holder at the RSC. What an insult!

0:57:280:57:34

Rip-roaring Roman caper The Eagle now and this looks like such

0:57:370:57:41

an arduous journey it would give anyone a shock.

0:57:410:57:43

It certainly did to Jamie Bell's horse who overnight changes

0:57:450:57:49

colour from brown to white with no explanation.

0:57:490:57:53

The dark and brutal Killer Inside Me

0:57:550:57:57

starring Casey Affleck as a deputy sheriff-cum-homicidal maniac.

0:57:570:58:02

Ho-hum, you might think.

0:58:020:58:04

But I feel anguish and I'm sorry.

0:58:040:58:07

But look all of a sudden, he's clutching a thick wooden plank!

0:58:070:58:11

Superb uncredited cameo from his brother Ben.

0:58:110:58:15

When a film is described as "cultural,"

0:58:170:58:19

that probably means it hasn't got a good enough story to be popular,

0:58:190:58:23

so it's being passed off as art.

0:58:230:58:25

"Mm, yes, it's supposed to be boring! That's the point!"

0:58:250:58:28

You can explain away all kinds of things using the art house excuse.

0:58:280:58:32

Shaky cameras - it's art.

0:58:320:58:33

Gaping plot holes - it's art.

0:58:330:58:35

Pretentious acting - that's just Natalie Portman,

0:58:350:58:37

there's nothing we can do about that now.

0:58:370:58:40

Some films are pure entertainment.

0:58:400:58:42

Others go a little deeper and ask questions like, "Why are we here,

0:58:420:58:45

"in the cinema watching another M Night Shyamalan film?"

0:58:450:58:49

Natalie Portman's in need of a champagne top-up, I think,

0:58:510:58:54

in creepy ballet melodrama Black Swan.

0:58:540:58:57

..appreciated presence on our stage.

0:58:570:58:59

But being so freaked out by Winona Ryder giving her evils, none of us notice that,

0:58:590:59:04

by the end of the scene, the flute is full to the brim again.

0:59:040:59:07

To beauty.

0:59:070:59:09

Next up, here's It's Kind Of A Funny Story,

0:59:110:59:16

a One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest for Justin Bieber fans.

0:59:160:59:19

And suicidal Craig has to give up all potentially harmful items.

0:59:190:59:24

Your belt and shoelaces.

0:59:240:59:25

-So his belt and shoelaces are gone.

-We can't take chances.

0:59:250:59:30

But later on, Craig and another patient Bobby are shooting hoops

0:59:310:59:35

with draw-stringed trackie bottoms

0:59:350:59:37

and very laced-up shoes. That basket ball's probably

0:59:370:59:41

-a cyanide gobstopper.

-Don't play dumb with me.

0:59:410:59:45

Now, slow-moving alien thriller Monsters and our couple's being

0:59:470:59:51

fleeced by a man who'd get Anne Robinson frothing at the mouth.

0:59:510:59:55

Um, how much?

0:59:550:59:56

That will be 5,000 colones.

0:59:560:59:59

-5,000?

-Yeah, 5,000.

-So that's 5,000 Costa Rican colones.

0:59:591:00:03

That will be 5,000 colonies.

1:00:031:00:05

-5,000?

-Yeah, yeah, 5,000.

1:00:051:00:08

-5,000 is a lot of money.

-Yes, I know, but...

1:00:081:00:11

Oh, it's now 5,000? Big mistake.

1:00:111:00:14

At the current exchange rate, 5,000 is...

1:00:141:00:17

No wonder this film had no cash for the special effects.

1:00:211:00:25

Monsters again and this completely deserted town

1:00:281:00:32

isn't quite as deserted as it seems.

1:00:321:00:35

Now, before you cower behind the sofa, take another look.

1:00:351:00:38

It seems the ali-ons prefer pick-up trucks to spaceships

1:00:411:00:43

when they pop to the shop for a pint of milk and a family-sized Galaxy.

1:00:431:00:49

Here's feisty teen Ree in gritty drama Winter's Bone.

1:00:511:00:56

This confrontation looks like

1:00:561:00:58

it'll get pretty tense as the gloves are well and truly off.

1:00:581:01:01

No, hang on, they're back on again.

1:01:021:01:05

Phew, looks like all will be fine after all.

1:01:081:01:12

No, wait, they're off again! Oh, make your mind up, love.

1:01:131:01:16

So often with films, the stars get the awards,

1:01:181:01:21

but what about those people behind the scenes? How do they get noticed?

1:01:211:01:25

They could become the best in their field or work their way up to become a famous director.

1:01:251:01:29

Or they could just stand in the back of shot.

1:01:291:01:31

Well, that's exactly what we're awarding now -

1:01:311:01:34

those people who went that extra distance

1:01:341:01:36

from out-of-shot to into shot.

1:01:361:01:38

What?

1:01:401:01:42

It's the Great Movie Mistakes Award for Best Supporting Actor,

1:01:441:01:47

and here are the nominations.

1:01:471:01:50

Lightweight action from Knight And Day and some great scene stealing.

1:01:501:01:54

Look at the security guards behind Cameron Diaz.

1:01:541:01:57

They suddenly change into normal civilians

1:02:001:02:03

and then back into security guards at the top of the escalator.

1:02:031:02:08

Maybe they were just working undercover for a bit.

1:02:091:02:12

If you've got a problem, maybe you can hire The A-Team,

1:02:171:02:21

to clean your windows, because...

1:02:211:02:23

Let's go back.

1:02:231:02:26

Mr T has got that window so clean,

1:02:261:02:28

you can see the cameraman's own reflection in it.

1:02:281:02:31

A blatant and unwelcome cameo. A bit like the movie.

1:02:331:02:37

In seen-it-all-before thriller The Resident,

1:02:401:02:44

Jack returns to his flat and senses all is not right.

1:02:441:02:48

If it the presence of a ghostly character?

1:02:481:02:51

Or just the reflection of the clumsy cameraman in his kitchen window?

1:02:511:02:56

Time to move out, if you ask me, Jack.

1:02:561:02:59

Who are you texting?

1:03:011:03:03

It's crazy horror comedy Vampires Suck

1:03:031:03:06

and Alice gets a mobile phone right in the face.

1:03:061:03:09

Now, either Edward is a very good shot or someone just off camera

1:03:091:03:15

is throwing a mobile phone right in her face.

1:03:151:03:17

There, thrown from point-blank range.

1:03:191:03:22

That's a bit "phoney"!

1:03:221:03:24

But the winner is Man In Shorts.

1:03:281:03:31

It's the climax of the testosterone-dripping Expendables

1:03:311:03:36

and all hell is breaking loose.

1:03:361:03:38

Everyone's running for their lives,

1:03:381:03:40

but hold on, who's this fellow in Bermuda shorts with the camcorder?

1:03:401:03:44

A very unfortunate tourist?

1:03:441:03:48

Next year, I'd stick to Rhyl. There's fewer explosions.

1:03:481:03:51

Science fiction. So much more popular

1:03:531:03:56

than its boring older brother, science fact.

1:03:561:03:58

My favourite type of sci-fi used to be films set in dystopian futures,

1:03:581:04:02

which portrayed a world dominated by technology, totalitarian governments

1:04:021:04:06

and the collapse of society as we know it. But nowadays,

1:04:061:04:09

I can get exactly the same thing just by watching the news.

1:04:091:04:13

The baffling Inception now.

1:04:151:04:17

I think this film's about the new sport extreme sleeping,

1:04:171:04:20

where people have to sleep through anything.

1:04:201:04:23

Here, they listen to boring music to drift away.

1:04:231:04:27

Ah, yes, the falling off the bridge event - very tricky -

1:04:291:04:33

especially if your headphones have come off.

1:04:331:04:36

What's he going to do now?

1:04:361:04:38

Without Coldplay's greatest hits playing, he'll surely wake up.

1:04:381:04:41

Oh, phew, they're back on. And he's ready to be plunged into the river.

1:04:411:04:46

In this clip, we see Cillian Murphy get shot once in the chest.

1:04:481:04:53

But when they come to help him, there are two bullet wounds.

1:04:561:05:01

Well, as the saying goes, shoot me once, shame on you.

1:05:011:05:04

Shoot me twice, shame on the continuity guy.

1:05:041:05:08

Next up, Battle: Los Angeles. A film that focuses too much on the action

1:05:101:05:15

and not enough on the dialogue.

1:05:151:05:17

Here, the soldiers prefer to bark rather than talk.

1:05:171:05:20

-HE SLURS: Right, we're up.

-What's that,

1:05:201:05:23

Lassie(?) In this scene, the aliens are on the run and Aaron Eckhart is

1:05:251:05:29

trying to choose which gun goes best with his outfit.

1:05:291:05:32

Pistol? Yeah, pistol.

1:05:351:05:37

Or machine gun? No, pistol, gotta be pistol.

1:05:391:05:43

Taut, exciting thrills from Source Code now.

1:05:471:05:50

And this is Jake Can't-Pronounce-His-Last-Name

1:05:501:05:53

swiping a wallet to check out a driver's licence.

1:05:531:05:57

-You have the bomber's name?

-Derek Frost.

1:05:591:06:02

Yes, that's the only thing he has,

1:06:021:06:04

because all the other details are completely different.

1:06:041:06:07

Look - address, date of birth, height. All of it!

1:06:071:06:12

Next up, the vile chiller Splice, and we see Adrian Brody doing...

1:06:151:06:21

-BELT RATTLES

-Well, yeah, never mind that.

1:06:211:06:24

Watch Sarah Polley. Look, she's left the door open.

1:06:241:06:28

But then she opens the already-open door.

1:06:291:06:32

Nearly as strange as what Brody was up to.

1:06:321:06:35

Take a look at the Splice girl's dress.

1:06:381:06:42

Because, hanging upside down, you would imagine

1:06:441:06:47

it would fall down around her shoulders.

1:06:471:06:50

Sporty AND Scary Splice!

1:06:531:06:56

Films about true life next.

1:07:001:07:03

Films like 127 Hours, a true story of a man stuck in a canyon for days.

1:07:031:07:08

I got stuck on the M25 for what felt like 127 hours once.

1:07:081:07:12

I didn't chop off my own arm, did I? No, I did not!

1:07:121:07:15

I did, however, wee in a Coke bottle,

1:07:151:07:18

eat a family bag of Wotsits and openly cry,

1:07:181:07:21

but apparently, that story's not Hollywood material!

1:07:211:07:24

Tch!

1:07:241:07:26

It's super nerd Mark Zuckerberg, although he can't be that nerdy.

1:07:281:07:33

He's mates with Justin Timberlake.

1:07:331:07:35

Oh, good catch, Justin.

1:07:351:07:37

Sharon?

1:07:381:07:39

SMASH!

1:07:391:07:40

-Oh, no!

-I'm so sorry!

-Mark!

1:07:401:07:43

-Girls can't catch!

-Here you go.

-No, wait!

1:07:431:07:46

Luckily, it was one of those completely empty beer bottles

1:07:471:07:50

kept for situations like this.

1:07:501:07:53

-I'm so sorry.

-Look, no stain on the wall.

1:07:541:07:57

Or maybe Zuckerberg's so rich,

1:07:571:07:59

he can afford beer that tidies up after itself.

1:07:591:08:02

Here's sweaty Christian Bale in the honest and hard-edged The Fighter.

1:08:051:08:09

Look at his T-shirt. Drenched!

1:08:111:08:13

But after a long walk in the sun, the sweat seems to have disappeared.

1:08:171:08:20

What's his antiperspirant?

1:08:221:08:24

Not one with 24-hour protection, as he's drenched again.

1:08:271:08:30

Look at Mark Wahlberg's fit bod as Micky Ward in The Fighter.

1:08:331:08:37

Not a tattoo in sight.

1:08:371:08:39

But cut to him in bed and what's this?

1:08:391:08:43

It's Mark's tat of Bob Marley, which Micky never had in real life.

1:08:431:08:48

Eddy Grant on the inner thigh, though? That's a possibility.

1:08:481:08:52

A young John Lennon with his nasal singing voice

1:08:541:08:57

in the unsentimental Nose-where Boy.

1:08:571:09:00

-Sorry, Nowhere Boy.

-# You're my little girl! #

1:09:001:09:04

But when he stops singing, we see the tape is at the start of the reel

1:09:041:09:07

and the song couldn't have been recorded.

1:09:071:09:10

Which is lucky, as it sounded horrific.

1:09:111:09:14

We had great success...

1:09:161:09:18

A scene from the so-called documentary I'm Still Here

1:09:181:09:22

and look at the glasses hanging off the shirt of Joaquin Phoenix

1:09:221:09:26

or whatever he's called.

1:09:261:09:28

-Look, they've vanished.

-I have a little studio, d'you know?

1:09:281:09:32

Puffy Combs, or whatever he's called, doesn't notice.

1:09:321:09:35

I'm excited to hear this stuff. I want to hear if you...

1:09:351:09:38

And now they're back. Mo sunglasses, mo problems.

1:09:381:09:43

More than seven square miles...

1:09:451:09:47

Harsh realities from Made In Dagenham now,

1:09:471:09:50

a British film harping back to the glorious era

1:09:501:09:53

where 55,000 men worked in a car factory with only 187 women.

1:09:531:09:58

That's because the men knew they were talking about back then.

1:09:581:10:01

-Are you threatening me?

-Let's listen.

1:10:011:10:04

I'm trying to stop 40,000 people from losing their jobs, Mrs Castle.

1:10:041:10:07

That's how many people work as Ford employees in this country, not to mention...

1:10:071:10:11

I thought it was 55,000, you berk? Let the women take over, I say.

1:10:111:10:16

It's raining in Dagenham.

1:10:191:10:21

Look at that poor old guy outside with his brolly.

1:10:211:10:24

He can't wait to get inside in the dry.

1:10:241:10:26

I'm lucky you weren't getting the lads to hold out for a full house.

1:10:261:10:29

Get yourself home, man!

1:10:291:10:31

All over the country...

1:10:311:10:33

Later on and now he must be somewhere nice and warm.

1:10:331:10:36

Oh, no, no. There he is again. Maybe he likes the rain.

1:10:361:10:40

You'll always be fighting over the scraps on the top table...

1:10:401:10:43

And again.

1:10:431:10:45

Get equal pay, yeah.

1:10:451:10:46

And again.

1:10:481:10:50

He just can't get enough of it. Get inside, man, you'll catch your death!

1:10:501:10:53

What I don't get is why it's so important to you.

1:10:531:10:57

Compelling drama from Conviction and Kenny's been freed from jail,

1:11:001:11:04

but maybe he should be banged straight up again for crimes against continuity.

1:11:041:11:08

-His offences are many. No hat, your honour.

-Will you thank your sister?

1:11:081:11:12

And now, a hat.

1:11:121:11:14

-Holding his scarf, your honour.

-Is this for us?

-Yes, it's for you.

1:11:161:11:20

And now suddenly wearing it again. The prosecution rests.

1:11:201:11:25

Next up, we're looking at teen movies,

1:11:271:11:30

which, for a man only recently out of his teens - that's right - is exactly my thing.

1:11:301:11:34

-MOBILE PHONE RINGS

-They're cool, wicked and totally radical. Oh, excuse me.

1:11:341:11:39

Oh, hey, Dazza! Yeah? What's up, dude?

1:11:391:11:42

Yeah, I would love to come down the Rec and skateboard with you.

1:11:421:11:46

Hang on. Mum, I'm going down the Rec with Dazza.

1:11:461:11:49

-HIGH-PITCHED VOICE:

-Not until you've finished hosting the show.

1:11:491:11:52

But, Mum!

1:11:521:11:54

-No buts.

-I can't come out. See you tomoz.

1:11:541:11:58

Here are some classic goofs from teen films.

1:12:001:12:03

-Say it nicely!

-Here are some classic goofs from teen films.

1:12:031:12:07

I saw that!

1:12:091:12:11

Next, in the light-hearted Easy A, Olive shows this boy what's what

1:12:141:12:18

by crushing an ice-cream cone in front of his face.

1:12:181:12:22

But the cone instantly reappears. Here today, cone tomorrow.

1:12:221:12:27

Now, watch Olive trying to take off her left boot

1:12:311:12:33

Is that lavender? It's pretty.

1:12:331:12:36

Which becomes her right boot, then she takes off her right boot again,

1:12:361:12:40

but somehow she's removed both her boots!

1:12:401:12:43

A clear example of two rights making a wrong.

1:12:431:12:47

In energetic Step Up 3D, it's the dance battle.

1:12:501:12:53

And as any B-boy knows, things get hot on the dance floor,

1:12:531:12:58

which is why the guy who's with those men pretending to be dogs

1:12:581:13:01

keeps taking his coat off.

1:13:011:13:03

Now you see it...

1:13:051:13:06

Now you don't.

1:13:061:13:08

Reminds me of my Nan's 80th. That was a lively affair.

1:13:081:13:12

Another one from Step Up, and take a look at Moose's bag,

1:13:151:13:19

because it's only on in the shots from behind.

1:13:191:13:22

Yeah, I mean I...

1:13:221:13:24

I'm a double major

1:13:241:13:25

Now, I know it's a backpack,

1:13:251:13:27

but you'd still see the strap on the front, right?

1:13:271:13:29

Yes?

1:13:291:13:30

What do you mean, you can't believe it?

1:13:301:13:33

It's Submarine, a reflective film about a son

1:13:351:13:38

trying to smooth out the creases in his parents' relationship.

1:13:381:13:42

And by the looks of things,

1:13:441:13:45

he's also smoothing out the creases in this drawing.

1:13:451:13:49

See? The fold's gone.

1:13:491:13:51

No need to set it on fire, though!

1:13:511:13:54

Oh! Kids!

1:13:541:13:56

Finally, a flashback scene in the worthless Twilight sequel, Eclipse.

1:13:591:14:03

Now, clothes in those days were made to last.

1:14:031:14:08

Look at that!

1:14:081:14:10

She stabs right through her dress and it doesn't even rip.

1:14:101:14:13

You don't get that kind of quality at Primark, do you?

1:14:131:14:16

And now another film's storyline flaws are reviewed and exposed

1:14:181:14:22

in Great Plot Hole Mistakes.

1:14:221:14:24

M Night Shyamalamadingdong's outlandish and far-fetched

1:14:241:14:27

2002 film Signs stars Mel Gibson

1:14:271:14:30

as a man who finds crop circles in his field which, it turns out,

1:14:301:14:34

is the work of ali-ons.

1:14:341:14:36

They've chosen to invade Earth for reasons that are mainly explained in crop circles,

1:14:361:14:40

which we can't understand.

1:14:401:14:41

Fortunately, the one substance able to destroy the ali-ons is water,

1:14:411:14:46

so they're fairly easily defeated. The End.

1:14:461:14:48

So what made the water-fearing ali-ons choose planet Earth, you might wonder?

1:14:481:14:53

-Just a minute, Lionel, did you say Planet Earth?

-That's right.

1:14:531:14:57

But 71% of the earth's surface is water, which is lethal to us ali-ons.

1:14:571:15:02

Yes.

1:15:021:15:03

What about Mars? That's nice and dry.

1:15:031:15:06

There hasn't been water on Mars for ages.

1:15:061:15:08

Yes, but where's the challenge in that? Come on.

1:15:081:15:12

Are you an ali-on or a mouse?

1:15:121:15:14

OK, OK.

1:15:141:15:15

So, we go to one of the dry bits of Earth, like the Atacama Desert?

1:15:151:15:19

No, we go to nice verdant farming country

1:15:191:15:22

and choose specifically the house of a family of water-filled humans

1:15:221:15:25

whose daughter has a strange obsession with water.

1:15:251:15:28

But we'll be wearing protective waterproof clothing, yes?

1:15:281:15:32

No, I thought we'd go naked.

1:15:321:15:33

Naked?! What if they spit at us?

1:15:331:15:36

I don't know about you, but when I'm crowing over puny humans,

1:15:361:15:39

I like to have my guys out, swinging in the breeze.

1:15:391:15:43

I'm worried this might be the worst idea you've ever had, Lionel.

1:15:431:15:47

No, that was instant mashed potato.

1:15:471:15:49

THEY LAUGH

1:15:491:15:52

Why does Hollywood love remakes so much?

1:15:541:15:57

Well, sometimes a film is so close to being brilliant

1:15:571:16:00

but there's just one tiny thing that stops it being perfect,

1:16:001:16:03

like it's foreign, or it was made over ten years ago.

1:16:031:16:06

Things that stop anyone in their right mind wanting to watch it.

1:16:061:16:09

The other reason to remake a movie is if the original didn't quite get it right.

1:16:091:16:13

Who didn't think that Get Carter was improved by the addition of Sylvester Stallone?

1:16:131:16:18

Or that The Italian Job was crying out for a cameo by Marky Mark?

1:16:181:16:21

I, for one, can't wait for next year's summer blockbuster,

1:16:211:16:24

Citizen Kane...

1:16:241:16:25

with Miley Cyrus.

1:16:251:16:27

Mm.

1:16:271:16:28

The needless, over-the-top A-Team movie,

1:16:301:16:34

and maybe they should give up this soldiers-of-fortune malarkey

1:16:341:16:37

and become baggage handlers. Watch the case by the side of BA.

1:16:371:16:41

I want to kill you, man.

1:16:411:16:43

You're not going to kill me! I'm going to kill YOU!

1:16:431:16:45

It's now behind his head...

1:16:451:16:47

I got two guns here.

1:16:471:16:49

..then on the other side.

1:16:501:16:53

It moves around more than Hannibal's wig did in the old series.

1:16:531:16:56

Whoopsie!

1:16:561:16:57

Loyal fans of The A-Team had problems with the remake,

1:16:591:17:03

and this must have got their blood boiling.

1:17:031:17:06

Look, they've mis-spelled Murdock's name!

1:17:061:17:08

It's D-O-C-K, not D-O-C-H.

1:17:081:17:11

I pity the fool who made that mistake.

1:17:111:17:15

Saying that, I also pity the person

1:17:151:17:17

who still cares so much about The A-Team.

1:17:171:17:20

At the end of the instantly forgettable Mechanic remake,

1:17:241:17:27

Ben Foster selects a jazz record to play on the posh turntable.

1:17:271:17:32

Ah! I love a bit of free form experimental jazz.

1:17:321:17:35

CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS

1:17:351:17:40

Hang on! It's ruddy Shubert's Trio Number Two!

1:17:401:17:43

But it definitely says "Jazz" on the cover.

1:17:441:17:49

Right, back to HMV.

1:17:491:17:51

Gulliver's Travels with Jack Black,

1:17:531:17:56

perfect casting, as the book was all about a loveable,

1:17:561:17:59

immature, rock-loving idiot.

1:17:591:18:00

Cos he called it a "mandate", so...

1:18:001:18:02

The kind of character that doesn't know his right hand from his left.

1:18:021:18:05

-..bushy-tailed for the boys.

-The right...

1:18:051:18:07

Now the left.

1:18:071:18:10

Jonathan Swift can rest easy that his work is in safe,

1:18:101:18:13

but confused hands.

1:18:131:18:15

We just got here.

1:18:151:18:16

In the final scene, Gulliver returns from his travels

1:18:181:18:21

and gains this girlfriend.

1:18:211:18:24

When I returned from my travels, all I gained was a case of the trots.

1:18:241:18:28

But what has she got to hide?

1:18:281:18:31

Her ID is the wrong way round,

1:18:311:18:33

Danke schon.

1:18:331:18:34

then it flips...

1:18:341:18:36

Mark. I'm just the new guy in the mailroom...

1:18:361:18:39

Now it's hidden again. Hm...mysterious.

1:18:391:18:43

Some films just don't know when to quit making mistakes.

1:18:451:18:48

In the end credits for Gulliver's Travels,

1:18:481:18:51

check out the date on this newspaper.

1:18:511:18:54

June 20th to June 3rd?

1:18:541:18:56

Someone obviously feels like time was moving backwards

1:18:561:18:59

when they were watching this film. I didn't.

1:18:591:19:02

Off to Jellystone Park for the charmless Yogi Bear movie.

1:19:041:19:09

Booboo has handcuffed Yogi to a tree.

1:19:091:19:12

But keep an eye on which paw the handcuff is on.

1:19:121:19:15

First it's his right paw,

1:19:161:19:19

then it's his left paw,

1:19:191:19:21

then his right paw again.

1:19:211:19:24

Either way, it's very PAW indeed.

1:19:241:19:26

Hello and welcome to Pointless View,

1:19:331:19:35

the programme where you have the chance to blow off about the things that really ruin films for you.

1:19:351:19:40

You know how it is.

1:19:401:19:41

It's impossible to follow a story if a flag's upside down, isn't it?

1:19:411:19:44

I personally had Braveheart ruined for me by an errant tartan

1:19:441:19:48

and Mel Gibson not being a blue 13th-century Scotsman,

1:19:481:19:51

but a brownish 20th-century Australian.

1:19:511:19:54

Here's a letter from Zorro Madeley of Funningham.

1:19:541:19:58

How was I expected to enjoy the wizardry-pokery of Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows

1:19:581:20:02

when it featured a bus bound for Dartford, to the south,

1:20:021:20:05

seen taking the tunnel north,

1:20:051:20:07

even though southbound traffic takes the bridge?

1:20:071:20:10

There hasn't been a southbound tunnel at Dartford since 1991.

1:20:101:20:13

From that point on, I felt it impossible

1:20:131:20:15

to believe in the enchanted chosen one of Hogwarts.

1:20:151:20:18

I'm not an idiot.

1:20:181:20:19

Precious Haystacks of Bumley says this.

1:20:191:20:23

In the so-called King's Speech,

1:20:231:20:25

the eponymous King's eponymous speech is enjoyed live

1:20:251:20:30

by a group of factory workers. It was broadcast at six pm on a Sunday,

1:20:301:20:35

so the only factory operating at such a time in a Christian country like Great Britain

1:20:351:20:39

would have been one run by Satan.

1:20:391:20:42

Am I to believe that our King would broadcast to the minions of hell?

1:20:421:20:47

I'm not an idiot.

1:20:471:20:48

Wing Commander Flava Tebbit is exercised by the shape of melted sand.

1:20:481:20:52

As someone who only watches films for the glassware in them,

1:20:521:20:56

I was enraged by the John Lennon biopic Nowhere Boy,

1:20:561:21:00

in which the Beatle-to-be is seen drinking from a nonic pint glass,

1:21:001:21:04

a type not invented until nearly three years after the scene was set.

1:21:041:21:09

I'm not a man given to tears, but I cried for nearly a fortnight,

1:21:091:21:14

and am now taking medicine.

1:21:141:21:16

I'm not an idiot.

1:21:161:21:18

I'm glad to hear it, Wing Commander.

1:21:181:21:20

A Mr Puff Diddy Hamilton of Underdunderden says...

1:21:201:21:22

I'm known for my sense of humour, and have laughed twice,

1:21:221:21:26

but I failed to see the joke in Drive Angry,

1:21:261:21:28

when a hydrogen truck is shown

1:21:281:21:30

labelled with a hazardous material placard bearing the number 1075.

1:21:301:21:34

1075, as any film buff knows, is the UN number for propane.

1:21:341:21:38

Hydrogen is in the range 1048-1053,

1:21:381:21:40

and I shall be returning the director's pretty young wife

1:21:401:21:44

to him piece by piece until this is corrected.

1:21:441:21:46

I'm not an idiot.

1:21:461:21:48

Blind Lemon Palmer-Tomkinson of Walton-on-Toast is even more forthright.

1:21:481:21:52

In the Kate Hudson film A Little Bit Of Heaven,

1:21:521:21:56

one of the characters calls a radio station to enter a competition.

1:21:561:21:59

My enjoyment was quite ruined by the absence of a squeal of feedback,

1:21:591:22:04

such as would have been heard.

1:22:041:22:05

-Hello?

-'Who is this?'

-Marley Corbett. Did I win?

1:22:051:22:10

I'm sure plenty of people would have liked to hear a howl of interference

1:22:101:22:14

and painful high-pitched whistling in this otherwise rather quiet film.

1:22:141:22:19

I'm not an idiot.

1:22:191:22:20

Pontius Bon Jovi of Gloveswold has a bee in his ointment

1:22:201:22:24

about the Anne Hathaway film Love And Other Drugs.

1:22:241:22:27

Jake Gyllenhaaaal's character is seen to be using an iMac

1:22:271:22:31

attached to an Apple Pro Mouse in what's supposed to be 1996.

1:22:311:22:35

But the Pro wasn't available until 2000.

1:22:351:22:38

To my disappointment, this time-travelling subplot wasn't picked up on anywhere in the film.

1:22:381:22:43

Perhaps the makers were worried that

1:22:431:22:45

if Jake Gyllenhaaaal were able to travel four years into the future,

1:22:451:22:49

it would ruin the will-they, won't-they romance.

1:22:491:22:51

I was sick in my mouth and someone else's and went home.

1:22:511:22:54

I'm not an idiot.

1:22:541:22:55

But it's not all bad news.

1:22:551:22:58

This letter is from Seven Zark Mountbatten of The Isle Of Teeth.

1:22:581:23:01

I usually enjoy the films of Angelina Jolie,

1:23:011:23:04

who is a beautiful and striking woman.

1:23:041:23:06

But in Salt, her character's name was Chenkov, a Russian male surname.

1:23:061:23:10

The female version would, of course, be Chenkova.

1:23:101:23:13

As a result of this error, I have become homosexual,

1:23:131:23:15

a consequence both unexpected and fabulous.

1:23:151:23:18

I'm not an idiot.

1:23:181:23:19

A satisfied customer? Good night.

1:23:191:23:22

For a shoot to be successful, the whole team,

1:23:271:23:30

including those behind the camera, have to be at the top of their game.

1:23:301:23:33

Every member of the crew has a vital part to play, and must never lose concentration.

1:23:331:23:37

For example, if the focus puller loses focus,

1:23:371:23:40

then there will be a loss of focus because the focus puller lost focus.

1:23:401:23:44

That's not a great example, but you know what I mean.

1:23:441:23:46

Everyone has an important job to do, from the soundman to the editor,

1:23:461:23:50

right down to the runner who brings the star his coffee.

1:23:501:23:54

Argh! What the hell?! I asked for a soy latte with an extra shot!

1:23:541:23:59

That didn't have an extra shot! What the hell were you thinking?

1:23:591:24:02

Sorry.

1:24:021:24:03

Here are some absolute clangers that happened purely because

1:24:031:24:06

the crew weren't paying enough attention.

1:24:061:24:09

Standing there crying isn't going to bring me the right coffee, is it?

1:24:091:24:12

Boo hoo hoo!

1:24:121:24:13

Get him out of here.

1:24:131:24:15

Relentless action in The Tourist,

1:24:181:24:20

where Angelina, in France, imaginatively orders a croissant.

1:24:201:24:24

But, zut alors! She's actually been brought a pain au chocolat.

1:24:311:24:35

Look how angry she is! She's set fire to her menu!

1:24:361:24:40

Over in Venice now

1:24:421:24:44

and a handcuffed Johnny Depp is determined to earn his title

1:24:441:24:47

as The Tourist.

1:24:471:24:48

Look, he's going water skiing.

1:24:501:24:53

Rubbish, isn't he?

1:24:531:24:54

Oh, well, he's still handcuffed, so that'll restrict him.

1:24:541:24:58

Ah, apparently not.

1:25:001:25:03

He's pulling himself along quite easily there as if he's not handcuffed at all.

1:25:031:25:08

And if that's not enough, look!

1:25:081:25:11

There's a camera operator in the boat, too.

1:25:131:25:17

Phew, what a holiday this is turning out to be!

1:25:171:25:19

In Venice, they have taxi boats! Look, here's the taxi sign.

1:25:211:25:26

And as if having to get used to a boat that's also a taxi's not enough,

1:25:271:25:31

this taxi boat confuses us even more

1:25:311:25:34

by continuing to lose and then gain its taxi sign.

1:25:341:25:38

Here it's just a boat.

1:25:391:25:41

Now it's a taxi again.

1:25:431:25:45

Taxi for the editor?

1:25:451:25:46

I think so.

1:25:461:25:48

Agent Denise, Clifton Ward.

1:25:481:25:50

-You guys want anything?

-Pretzels, all right?

-Yeah.

1:25:521:25:56

It's the ice hockey!

1:25:561:25:58

But sadly, as this is The Dilemma,

1:25:581:26:01

we have to watch Vince Vaughan confront Winona Ryder about an alleged affair.

1:26:011:26:05

Boring!

1:26:051:26:06

Hey.

1:26:061:26:08

Well, at least the game's on the tellies, there.

1:26:091:26:12

But look closely and you see that the Chicago Blackhawks

1:26:121:26:15

are in different kit to the live game they were just playing.

1:26:151:26:19

What the puck?!

1:26:191:26:20

Vince Vaughan is back home empty handed. See? Nothing in his hands.

1:26:241:26:29

But his friends and family have arranged an intervention.

1:26:291:26:32

I guess we can start.

1:26:321:26:35

Ronnie, why don't you come join us?

1:26:351:26:37

They think he has a drink problem. Maybe they have a point.

1:26:371:26:39

Your family and friends are here because they love you, Ronald,

1:26:391:26:43

and they can't stand to see you destroy yourself any more.

1:26:431:26:46

Look! Next time we see his hands, a brown paper bag has appeared.

1:26:461:26:50

I bet it's full of booze.

1:26:501:26:53

It's violent crime flick Blitz,

1:26:561:26:58

and Jason Statham finds it hilarious

1:26:581:27:00

that the beer in his glass keeps changing levels.

1:27:001:27:03

Stop laughing, Jason, it's not big and it's not clever.

1:27:081:27:12

Though, I'd never say that to his face.

1:27:121:27:15

-Yes.

-Shouldn't we promote one of our own?

1:27:171:27:19

Read all about it! Time travelling tabloid appears in the movie Blitz.

1:27:191:27:23

Superintendent Brown holds up a paper

1:27:231:27:25

where it's announced that a second cop has been shot.

1:27:251:27:28

Only a second cop hasn't been shot yet.

1:27:281:27:32

But when he is, look, the chief is reading the same paper.

1:27:321:27:37

What a scoop!

1:27:371:27:39

I wanted to say really quick that...

1:27:421:27:44

Sure-fire comedy hit Bridesmaids,

1:27:441:27:46

and Annie's tipsy and making a toast. That's never good.

1:27:461:27:49

I'd get confused and speak into the champagne flute

1:27:491:27:52

while taking sips from the microphone.

1:27:521:27:54

..helped shape who I am. I just want to thank you.

1:27:541:27:57

Oh, it seems Annie was having the same thought. They've swapped over.

1:27:571:28:01

-All right, let's see what's next. Another one.

-Yeah.

1:28:031:28:07

I know who this is from.

1:28:071:28:09

Take a look at Megan's right hand.

1:28:091:28:11

The poor little treasure's been injured all film.

1:28:111:28:15

She should never have to work again.

1:28:151:28:17

Very good time in high school.

1:28:171:28:19

Hold on, the support's on her left hand now. She's not injured at all.

1:28:191:28:23

Benefit cheat!

1:28:231:28:25

Burn her!

1:28:251:28:27

Sure, horror movies are scary,

1:28:291:28:31

but are they scarier than things that happen in real life?

1:28:311:28:34

I've yet to see anything in a film that makes me jump more than

1:28:341:28:37

when you wake up and find you've slept through an alarm.

1:28:371:28:40

Sure, bad things happen to people in the Saw films,

1:28:401:28:43

but nothing as bad as accidentally calling your girlfriend by your ex-girlfriend's name.

1:28:431:28:47

Now that is terrifying. I love watching horror films,

1:28:471:28:50

but the atmosphere's got to be just right.

1:28:501:28:52

What I do is I light some candles and place them around the room

1:28:521:28:55

then put on some scary music before it starts, to get in the mood.

1:28:551:28:59

I pull the duvet over my head and then I'm thrown out the cinema.

1:28:591:29:03

It's the flat and pointless remake of I Spit On Your Grave.

1:29:051:29:09

Watch this video tape because it keeps changing position.

1:29:091:29:13

To my what?

1:29:151:29:16

This scene reminds me of my dad trying to work the video.

1:29:161:29:20

-Dad, you've put it the wrong way round.

-What's on the tape?

1:29:201:29:25

-Is this some kind of

-BLEEP

-up joke? I'll smash the damn thing myself.

1:29:251:29:28

Dad, not that way either.

1:29:281:29:30

Any second, I expect this film to be wiped over with the snooker.

1:29:301:29:35

This is a shot he plays well.

1:29:351:29:37

Case 39 creates a self of menace and unease right from the start.

1:29:411:29:46

Don't believe me? Look at Renee Zellweger's car window.

1:29:461:29:50

First it's down.

1:29:501:29:52

Then it's up.

1:29:521:29:54

What malevolent force could be at work here?

1:29:541:29:57

The force of not paying attention, I wager. Hmm?

1:29:571:30:01

Another cock-up from case 39. Watch the knife as she takes it out.

1:30:041:30:09

In a second shot, it's much bigger.

1:30:111:30:14

Watch again.

1:30:161:30:18

Little knife...

1:30:181:30:20

Big knife!

1:30:211:30:23

Maybe when she first took it out it was just a bit cold.

1:30:231:30:27

Final clip from Case 39, and here we see a shape-shifting house.

1:30:291:30:34

Take a look at the corridor to her left.

1:30:341:30:36

Now it's a door.

1:30:421:30:43

And now the door is open.

1:30:451:30:48

I don't know whether to call an exorcist or Colin and Justin.

1:30:501:30:54

Honey, where are you?

1:30:561:30:58

Low-budget and low-rent Insidious now,

1:30:581:31:00

starring a rather casual Patrick Wilson with his shirt open.

1:31:001:31:04

Something's wrong. Quick, Patrick! Quicker!

1:31:051:31:08

BOY SCREAMS

1:31:081:31:11

Oh, you're finally here. Where have you been?

1:31:111:31:14

Oh, busy putting a tie on,

1:31:141:31:16

to look all smart for your distressed hysterical son.

1:31:161:31:19

-How thoughtful.

-Are you OK?

1:31:191:31:21

And now, Patrick's investigating the ghostly noise outside.

1:31:231:31:28

But, the porch lightbulb's just gone. Nightmare!

1:31:281:31:32

Well, maybe the ghost will change it.

1:31:341:31:37

Oh, he did!

1:31:371:31:39

I don't trust ghosts, you can see right through them.

1:31:391:31:43

Things are getting really scary in Insidious now.

1:31:451:31:49

Patrick's approaching the red door.

1:31:491:31:52

Look at all that smoke. Where's it all coming from?

1:31:521:31:55

Oh, the smoke machine in the corner.

1:31:581:32:01

This next section is about anachronisms,

1:32:031:32:05

which is when a thing is historically out of place.

1:32:051:32:07

Like a computer in Robin Hood

1:32:071:32:09

or a mobile phone in The Importance Of Being Earnest,

1:32:091:32:12

or those trainers on a cameraman who lives in the year 2011!

1:32:121:32:17

Don't look like that, Paul, I'm just joking.

1:32:171:32:19

I'm only joking, mate, come on! Don't be like that.

1:32:191:32:22

Look at the good times we've had.

1:32:221:32:24

Look at this block of flats in the powerful true-life flick

1:32:261:32:30

Made In Dagenham.

1:32:301:32:31

It's 1968, but someone's so far ahead of their time,

1:32:311:32:36

they've already got a satellite dish

1:32:361:32:38

and can watch reruns of programmes that haven't yet been made.

1:32:381:32:42

Here's a Ronnie Barker look-alike, denying that his factory workers

1:32:441:32:48

are members of a troublesome political group.

1:32:481:32:51

Do you know what we're dealing with?

1:32:511:32:53

Socialist Workers' Party, Workers' Revolutionary Party,

1:32:531:32:56

-Revolutionary Communist

-BLEEP

-Party.

1:32:561:32:59

-Who's she with?

-We don't actually think she's with anyone, sir.

1:32:591:33:02

We actually don't think she's a Communist.

1:33:021:33:05

But of course she isn't. None of these groups existed in the '60s.

1:33:051:33:09

I need a good trainer...

1:33:121:33:14

Secretariat is a plodding film,

1:33:141:33:16

but this old chap's getting down with the kids by showing off

1:33:161:33:20

his knowledge of 1972 hit movie Super Fly.

1:33:201:33:23

He's a French Canadian, dresses like Super Fly.

1:33:231:33:28

A shame that this film's set in 1969. Not so hip, Daddy-o.

1:33:281:33:33

It's inspirational '80s movie The Fighter,

1:33:361:33:38

where Marky Mark's funky bunch is swapped for some squabbling ladies.

1:33:381:33:43

But ignore them and look at the 2011 vehicle inspection sticker

1:33:431:33:47

in his buddy's car windscreen.

1:33:471:33:50

Trying to reverse away isn't going to help.

1:33:501:33:52

In '60s heart-warmer That's What I Am,

1:33:561:33:59

young Andy plays a drum kit with Sabian cymbals.

1:33:591:34:02

But Sabian didn't begin manufacturing cymbals until 1981.

1:34:021:34:07

That was certainly interesting.

1:34:071:34:10

Well, no, it certainly wasn't.

1:34:101:34:12

The bleak and frightening The Killer Inside Me,

1:34:161:34:19

and Casey Affleck's rummaging about in a lady's drawers.

1:34:191:34:23

Sheriff's office, ma'am, what are you doing with it?

1:34:231:34:26

I have a permit.

1:34:261:34:28

Apparently looking for a gun permit.

1:34:281:34:31

Something that's not needed to own a gun in Texas.

1:34:311:34:34

Satisfied, copper?

1:34:341:34:36

Hmm, a likely story. I think he just wants to fondle her pants.

1:34:361:34:41

I reckon it's all right.

1:34:411:34:42

-Now Casey's giving us his life story.

-I was born here 29 years ago.

1:34:481:34:52

Central City was small enough...

1:34:521:34:55

But look, here's a modern USPS truck reflected in the window.

1:34:551:35:00

Born ruddy yesterday, more like.

1:35:001:35:02

These days, the world of animation can produce miraculous characters

1:35:041:35:07

that are out of this world. But don't just believe me.

1:35:071:35:10

Why don't we ask my animated sidekick? It's Squigaloo Squirrel.

1:35:101:35:14

Hello there, Squigaloo!

1:35:151:35:17

Oh, Squigaloo, you do say the silliest things.

1:35:181:35:22

HE LAUGHS

1:35:221:35:24

No, you are, Squigaloo.

1:35:241:35:26

Now, introduce the next set of clips for the ladies and gentlemen,

1:35:261:35:30

featuring bloopers in animated movies.

1:35:301:35:32

Great. So we're going to put the squirrel on after, yeah?

1:35:361:35:39

Otherwise, that's just me talking to a brick.

1:35:391:35:42

I might look a ninny.

1:35:421:35:43

OK.

1:35:441:35:46

Well, I'll trust you this time.

1:35:461:35:48

Wild West fun now.

1:35:541:35:55

When Rango drops his bullets, we see him reloading them

1:35:571:36:00

on the right side of his gun.

1:36:001:36:04

-However, the chamber is hanging on the left side.

-Just a second.

1:36:041:36:09

Later on in the same scene, chameleons may be good at changing,

1:36:121:36:16

but some things shouldn't change.

1:36:161:36:18

Like here...

1:36:181:36:20

where the hawk is completely flattened to the ground...

1:36:201:36:23

..And now his feet poke up when they shouldn't be there.

1:36:271:36:30

More Rango, and this car crash has a traumatic effect

1:36:321:36:36

on the doll he shares a tank with.

1:36:361:36:38

Here she has a right arm.

1:36:381:36:40

But after this crash, it's now a left arm.

1:36:471:36:49

At the end of the day, I suppose it's just an "armless" bit of fun.

1:36:511:36:55

Some pig ignorance from the animators of Shrek.

1:36:591:37:02

Yes, he's back and he seems to be over the moon to be scaring everyone again.

1:37:021:37:07

Look how he scares those pigs.

1:37:081:37:11

He must have really scared them because as we zoom out,

1:37:111:37:14

they're nowhere to be seen.

1:37:141:37:16

Another Shrek mistake.

1:37:211:37:23

Yes, indeed, keep your eye on the letter F on the hanky

1:37:231:37:27

that Shrek picks up.

1:37:271:37:28

One minute it's there...

1:37:331:37:35

..then it's over there on completely the other side.

1:37:371:37:41

Get it right, for F's sake.

1:37:411:37:43

Disney's back on form now, even if the film-makers

1:37:451:37:48

get just as tangled as their characters in Tangled.

1:37:481:37:52

Flynn Ryder struggles onto his side as he's tied to the chair.

1:37:521:37:55

No can do.

1:37:551:37:56

However, next time he's pulled into shot, he's on his back again.

1:37:591:38:03

-Hairy stuff, I think you'll agree.

-A horse?

1:38:031:38:06

Zoology now, and here's the colourful Rio,

1:38:081:38:11

a film all about a macaw called Blu.

1:38:111:38:13

The perfect marshmallow-to-cocoa ratio.

1:38:151:38:17

But to macaws, cocoa is toxic.

1:38:171:38:21

Lucky this is an animation

1:38:211:38:22

or we really would've seen death by chocolate.

1:38:221:38:26

-Did it, boys.

-We did it!

1:38:291:38:31

It takes one animator an entire week to do just four seconds of footage.

1:38:311:38:35

But when they animate the flaps on this plane going down,

1:38:351:38:39

rather than up, which would've sent the plane careering to the ground,

1:38:391:38:42

you wonder whether that particular week was well spent.

1:38:421:38:46

Classy sequel Toy Story 3, where Barbie removes two screws

1:38:501:38:54

that hold Buzz Lightyear's back compartment.

1:38:541:38:57

..show you no mercy.

1:38:571:38:58

Why's it not working?

1:39:001:39:01

However, at no point do they re-screw the compartment closed.

1:39:011:39:05

It just stays shut for the rest of the movie.

1:39:051:39:07

IN SPANISH:

1:39:071:39:08

No wonder he's acting like he's got a screw loose.

1:39:081:39:11

Toy Story 3 begins with Mr Potato Head having only one eye

1:39:191:39:22

so that Andy can pretend he's wearing an eye patch.

1:39:221:39:26

But keep your eyes peeled on Mr Potato's eyes,

1:39:281:39:31

because when Andy's "mom" films him, he's suddenly regained it.

1:39:311:39:36

Peeled, you get it? Like peeling a potato?

1:39:361:39:38

Right, please yourselves.

1:39:381:39:40

More films are made about cars than any other mode of transport.

1:39:421:39:46

I used to love cars so much that I'd ever only watch

1:39:461:39:49

the final third of Planes, Trains And Automobiles.

1:39:491:39:51

But these days, I'm much more environmentally minded

1:39:511:39:54

and I think Hollywood should follow suit.

1:39:541:39:56

In The Italian Job, instead of Mini Coopers,

1:39:561:39:59

they should have foldaway bikes.

1:39:591:40:00

And I want to see The Fast And The Furious on Segways.

1:40:001:40:03

That said, would Ryan Gosling have looked as cool if,

1:40:031:40:06

instead of Drive, the film had been called Walk?

1:40:061:40:10

Insightful teen fun in Easy A, and Todd is driving Olive home.

1:40:141:40:19

But when we catch a glimpse of the speedometer,

1:40:191:40:21

we see that they're travelling at 0mph.

1:40:211:40:25

Something must be wrong with your car, mate.

1:40:251:40:28

Easy A? Better call the Easy AA, hmm?! Huh?!

1:40:281:40:31

In the straightforward Just Go With It, Jennifer Aniston

1:40:331:40:37

perfectly parks, silencing any chauvinists.

1:40:371:40:40

D'oh. Wait a minute.

1:40:401:40:42

What is that?

1:40:421:40:43

Turns out she's gone all over the lines. Birds, eh?

1:40:431:40:47

What?

1:40:471:40:48

The slow but thoughtful Rabbit Hole now,

1:40:501:40:53

and Nicole's not wearing a seatbelt.

1:40:531:40:55

-I don't want to move.

-I don't want another baby.

1:40:551:40:58

CAR HORN BLARES

1:40:581:41:00

Luckily, a seatbelt appeared just in the nick of time.

1:41:001:41:04

A clunk-click clunker.

1:41:041:41:06

-What're you doing?

-I just had to check the cake.

1:41:061:41:09

Matthew McConaughey's such a successful lawyer

1:41:121:41:15

in the thrilling drama The Lincoln lawyer,

1:41:151:41:17

that he's got a number plate that says NT GUILTY on it. Classy!

1:41:171:41:23

But in California, a licence plate can only have seven letters on it.

1:41:231:41:27

And NT GUILTY has eight.

1:41:271:41:29

Which makes it an illegal number plate, and very guilty indeed.

1:41:291:41:34

Oh, the irony!

1:41:341:41:36

He also has a chauffeur, which seems a bit poncey.

1:41:381:41:41

Surely he could drive himself?

1:41:411:41:44

Actually, the car can drive itself.

1:41:441:41:46

Yep, it was moving before he'd even started it.

1:41:491:41:52

Maybe his car is a distant cousin of Herbie.

1:41:571:41:59

When I heard that the downbeat drama Winter's Bone was a bit backward,

1:42:011:42:07

I thought that meant it was full of uneducated hillbilly types.

1:42:071:42:11

But no, it actually means it's backward,

1:42:111:42:13

as the reverse shot of this pick-up proves.

1:42:131:42:17

Warning - this vehicle is literally reversing.

1:42:171:42:19

Make sure your daddy knows the gravity of this deal.

1:42:191:42:22

In the unflinching crime movie, The Town,

1:42:261:42:29

the bank robbers are forced to drive around the block

1:42:291:42:31

as they wait for their plan to fall into place.

1:42:311:42:34

But the second time they drive up the same road,

1:42:371:42:40

all of the parked cars are different.

1:42:401:42:43

How long did it take them to drive around the block?

1:42:431:42:46

Mind you, you know how bad traffic can get in Town.

1:42:461:42:49

And now, more movie storyline flaws are reviewed and laid bare in...

1:42:511:42:55

In the hard-edged, pacy sci-fi thriller, District 9,

1:42:571:42:59

crashed ali-ons are stranded in Johannesburg and are forced

1:42:591:43:03

to live as second-class citizens in a ghetto

1:43:031:43:05

policed by a big corporation and Nigerian gangsters who sell them cat food

1:43:051:43:09

What everyone wants is the ali-ons' incredible superguns

1:43:091:43:12

that can fire pigs and that.

1:43:121:43:14

Hang on, incredible superguns?

1:43:141:43:17

Red alert, those with massively superior weaponry

1:43:171:43:21

don't tend to stay second-class citizens

1:43:211:43:23

for much longer than it takes them to get their massively superior weaponry out.

1:43:231:43:28

Tell you what, I'm getting a bit fed up with being oppressed.

1:43:281:43:31

Too right, I mean there's only so much of this us ali-ons can take.

1:43:311:43:36

You know, after 28 years of relentless abuse

1:43:361:43:39

and slum-dwelling,

1:43:391:43:40

I'm almost tempted to get the incredible superguns

1:43:401:43:43

that only us ali-ons can use, and show these humans who's boss.

1:43:431:43:48

On the other hand, cat food...

1:43:521:43:54

Yup, yup, the cat food is nice and even with our ali-on ability

1:43:541:43:59

to build superior weaponry and gigantic spacecraft

1:43:591:44:02

that can hover powerlessly in the sky for decades,

1:44:021:44:04

there's no guarantee that we'd be any good at making cat food.

1:44:041:44:08

Yes, might as well sit tight and wait for the white man

1:44:081:44:11

with the pretty arm to help us.

1:44:111:44:14

Yeah.

1:44:141:44:15

More Whiskas?

1:44:161:44:18

Technology plays an increasingly vital role in the movies.

1:44:211:44:24

Without mobile phones there'd be no Matrix,

1:44:241:44:27

without computers there'd be no Tron

1:44:271:44:29

and without the internet I wouldn't have illegally downloaded either of those.

1:44:291:44:33

That's a joke, I don't approve of law-breaking!

1:44:331:44:36

Phone, fax, Facebook, Google Plus, Twitter, iPhone, Blackberry,

1:44:361:44:39

email, instant messenger -

1:44:391:44:40

it's great to have so many different ways to find out that no-one wants to talk to you.

1:44:401:44:45

Despite there being a whole film about Facebook,

1:44:451:44:47

you don't see a lot of social networking sites in movies.

1:44:471:44:50

Harry is now 'friends' with Sally.

1:44:501:44:52

Mr and Mrs Smith went from 'married' to 'it's complicated'.

1:44:521:44:55

I suppose it's lucky really.

1:44:551:44:57

You don't want all your friends finding out you've been poked by Charlie Sheen.

1:44:571:45:02

A clip from Buried - the taut thriller about a man

1:45:041:45:08

buried alive with nothing but a mobile phone.

1:45:081:45:11

The scariest part is that he doesn't even know how to use his mobile...

1:45:111:45:16

See? It's upside down!

1:45:161:45:19

It's clearly been turning in his grave.

1:45:191:45:21

In sombre movie Hereafter, Marcus watches some YouTube clips.

1:45:271:45:32

But see the information under the person talking?

1:45:321:45:36

When he clicks on the second clip,

1:45:361:45:38

it has the exact same amount of views and information!

1:45:381:45:41

Perhaps it took 259,042 takes to do the scene?

1:45:421:45:47

If you believe in Christ you have nothing to fear.

1:45:471:45:50

Now the misfire that is Gulliver's Travels.

1:45:531:45:57

No signal, but I got 12 messages - Mr Popularity!

1:45:571:46:01

No signal? But you can't check messages without a signal.

1:46:011:46:05

I wonder if Jonathan Swift knew he'd made a massive error

1:46:051:46:09

when he wrote this in 1726?

1:46:091:46:11

Now it's the highly implausible film Unknown.

1:46:151:46:17

MOBILE BEEPS

1:46:171:46:19

In this clip, Liam Neeson gets a text from 2010,

1:46:191:46:23

even though the film is set in 2011.

1:46:231:46:26

I'd change your service provider if I were you, Liam.

1:46:261:46:30

Still on Unknown

1:46:321:46:34

and now Liam's wife is trying to get into a password-protected file.

1:46:341:46:38

She's figured out the password, clever lady,

1:46:381:46:42

but if she'd looked a little harder she'd have seen

1:46:421:46:45

that the password's accepted before she's typed it in!

1:46:451:46:48

I'm personally not going to accept this error...

1:46:481:46:51

Oh, go on then.

1:46:531:46:54

Creaky suspense from Scream 4

1:46:561:46:58

where Neve Campbell is clearly told by Hayden Panettiere

1:46:581:47:01

that the landline's down and someone's smashed the router.

1:47:011:47:04

I tried to call 911 but the landline's dead and someone's smashed the router.

1:47:041:47:08

-I think I got through on my cell.

-OK, where's Jill?

1:47:081:47:10

However, a bit later on,

1:47:121:47:14

when she whips out her phone, we see that the WiFi signal is on.

1:47:141:47:18

Perhaps someone was WiFired for that blunder?

1:47:181:47:22

Tell Sydney heads are going to roll tonight!

1:47:221:47:24

The laws of time are disregarded

1:47:261:47:29

in the high-octane but routine Unstoppable.

1:47:291:47:32

Here, Chris Pine has a picture of his beautiful wife on his phone.

1:47:321:47:37

Debt of gratitude, blah, blah, blah

1:47:371:47:39

But at the press conference at the end of the film,

1:47:391:47:42

we see a shot of his beautiful wife that's exactly the same picture.

1:47:421:47:46

See? Unstoppable? That's unacceptable.

1:47:461:47:49

Films get better with age, like so many things.

1:47:511:47:55

Wine, cheese, a good lover -

1:47:551:47:57

or at least that's what I tell my girlfriend.

1:47:571:47:59

She's 78 and needs a lot of confidence boosting,

1:47:591:48:03

so here are some slightly older clips

1:48:031:48:05

that we may have missed in the first two shows.

1:48:051:48:07

STATIC AND CLATTERING

1:48:071:48:09

Oh! She's had another fall. Excuse me!

1:48:091:48:12

Lovable musical Grease now,

1:48:141:48:17

and Vi demonstrates early voice control technology

1:48:171:48:20

as all it takes is for her to do a low grunt...

1:48:201:48:23

and the light goes out.

1:48:231:48:26

She certainly didn't flick the switch - look...

1:48:261:48:29

..her elbow is a good few inches away.

1:48:311:48:34

How's it done, Vi?

1:48:341:48:35

Enlighten us!

1:48:351:48:37

THEY ALL SING "SUMMER NIGHTS"

1:48:391:48:43

Ah, those crazy school days, when everyone could perform

1:48:431:48:46

a flawless, impromptu song-and-dance number!

1:48:461:48:49

Best years of my life!

1:48:491:48:51

Though Rizzo goes and ruins it by putting on some cool shades...

1:48:511:48:56

that instantly come off.

1:48:561:48:58

But it takes our eye off Travolta readjusting his tight trousers...

1:49:001:49:03

Oh, back on again.

1:49:051:49:07

Good diversion, Rizzo!

1:49:071:49:09

The colourful, camp classic The Wizard of Oz

1:49:121:49:16

and Dorothy's down the Yellow Brick Road in her iconic red shoes.

1:49:161:49:20

But she's a bit peckish...

1:49:201:49:21

The tree doesn't like this.

1:49:211:49:24

-Well, how would you like someone come and pinch something off of you?

-Oh, dear!

1:49:241:49:28

Well- we find out, as someone's had it away with Dorothy's lovely shoes

1:49:281:49:31

and replaced them with dreary old dance shoes.

1:49:311:49:35

Look!

1:49:351:49:36

Hooray! I guess that did it. Help yourself.

1:49:401:49:44

Now as Dorothy chases the Tin Man,

1:49:461:49:49

see how the very important can of oil falls out of her basket.

1:49:491:49:53

Here it is!

1:49:571:49:59

Luckily with oil prices as they are,

1:50:011:50:03

it reappears intact so Tin Man can sort out his arthritic joints.

1:50:031:50:07

That was wonderful.

1:50:071:50:09

Well, OIL be damned!

1:50:091:50:11

The original and best Superman movie now,

1:50:141:50:17

and while you may believe a man can fly, he can also walk through glass.

1:50:171:50:23

Here, he's in a different door partition to Lois,

1:50:231:50:26

but when they come out, they leave from the same partition.

1:50:261:50:31

Also - rewind that...

1:50:311:50:33

Yep, a clear reflection of the camera man.

1:50:371:50:39

Now I'll believe a man can spy.

1:50:411:50:44

Clark Kent is ever the polite gentleman, even when knocked out.

1:50:481:50:53

Did you see that?

1:50:531:50:55

See? He doffs his hat to his mugger as he runs away.

1:50:571:51:01

The final word in romantic comedies is Pretty Woman,

1:51:051:51:09

but I wish Julia Roberts would sort her manners out -

1:51:091:51:13

look she's talking through a mouthful of croissant...

1:51:131:51:16

How far did you go in school?

1:51:161:51:19

Even more impolitely, she then changes it to a pancake!

1:51:191:51:22

Your folks must be proud.

1:51:241:51:25

And then takes a second bite out...

1:51:251:51:27

..which goes back on the pancake afterwards.

1:51:291:51:32

Disgraceful.

1:51:321:51:34

Ah, the epic and magical Sound of Music,

1:51:381:51:40

and look at the lovely scenery.

1:51:401:51:43

On such a beautiful, clear and sunny day

1:51:431:51:45

wouldn't you want to climb up an Alpine hillside,

1:51:451:51:48

take a deep breath of fresh air and just sing your guts out?

1:51:481:51:52

Come on, Julie, give us a burst!

1:51:531:51:56

Oh, it's suddenly gone all dull and cloudy.

1:51:561:51:59

I'd go back in, love. Film's over, everyone!

1:51:591:52:03

Out of all last year's films,

1:52:051:52:07

we think this next film had the moist mistakes.

1:52:071:52:09

Did I say moist?

1:52:091:52:11

Out of all of last year's films,

1:52:111:52:12

we think this next mistake had the most mistakes...

1:52:121:52:16

Out of all of last year's films, we think this nest film...

1:52:161:52:20

Nest?

1:52:201:52:21

Out of all the films,

1:52:211:52:23

we think this next one had the most mistakes, of last year.

1:52:231:52:28

Out of all of last year's mistakes, this was the most.

1:52:281:52:31

Out of all of last year's films,

1:52:311:52:34

we think this next film had the most mistakes YES!

1:52:341:52:37

Sorry, without the yes.

1:52:371:52:38

And the film we found the most mistakes in this year

1:52:401:52:43

was the very underwhelming and disappointing

1:52:431:52:45

The Green Hornet remake.

1:52:451:52:47

Let's count them up!

1:52:471:52:48

Good morning.

1:52:481:52:50

Keep staring at the attractive lady lying in the bed,

1:52:501:52:53

as one minute she's all covered up,

1:52:531:52:56

then the duvet comes down and we see her bra!

1:52:561:52:59

Then it goes up...

1:52:591:53:01

and down

1:53:011:53:02

and up and down for the rest of the scene.

1:53:021:53:07

Of course, I watched this clip several times

1:53:071:53:09

just to be sure of the mistake.

1:53:091:53:11

Two mistakes for the price of one in this car chase.

1:53:141:53:18

The offside headlight gets knocked out by The Hornet's car...

1:53:181:53:22

Oh, no.

1:53:241:53:26

..but as the car flips over, it's all fixed again!

1:53:261:53:29

Then the car careers forwards,

1:53:311:53:34

but slams through the window backwards.

1:53:341:53:36

Proof indeed that two wrongs don't make a right...

1:53:361:53:40

They make a right clanger.

1:53:401:53:42

This is the greatest moment of my life.

1:53:421:53:44

She's completely un-nailable.

1:53:461:53:47

It's a terrible fact, I don't know what to do.

1:53:471:53:49

In this clip, Kato drives very straight

1:53:491:53:52

down a very straight road, but look how erratically he steers!

1:53:521:53:56

This film's proving to have more gaffs than a dodgy council estate...

1:53:561:54:00

And here's three more whoppers.

1:54:031:54:06

Watch this weapon as it disappears quicker than director

1:54:061:54:09

Michel Gondry's credibility.

1:54:091:54:11

Ta-da!

1:54:121:54:14

But now just watch Mr Beach Ball sat proudly on his chair.

1:54:201:54:24

Ooh, now he's off...

1:54:241:54:27

Maybe he's trying to escape from this movie, I wouldn't blame him.

1:54:271:54:31

I mean, he may have a better offer.

1:54:311:54:33

There's probably a volleyball tournament he could be starring in.

1:54:331:54:36

That would be nice.

1:54:361:54:39

Oh, no, now he's back.

1:54:391:54:41

Mr Beach Ball, I'd have a word with your agent.

1:54:411:54:44

You're better than this.

1:54:441:54:46

Get off my property!

1:54:461:54:47

In this scene, look at the tree in the background.

1:54:511:54:54

What are you doing up here? All the guys are waiting.

1:54:541:54:57

Popeye walks far past it... and now he's right next to it.

1:54:571:55:02

Maybe Mr Tree's after more screen time?

1:55:021:55:04

We'll never know.

1:55:041:55:06

Last one.

1:55:081:55:09

The gas mask is clearly on Chudnofsky's forehead

1:55:091:55:12

as he fights Kato.

1:55:121:55:14

..or be it your blood, red will be the last colour...

1:55:141:55:17

Then, suddenly, it's entirely on his face...

1:55:221:55:26

I'd keep it on if I were you.

1:55:271:55:30

With nine solid goofs, this film's a bit of a stinker.

1:55:301:55:33

Well, that's all the time we have left for Great Movie Mistakes Three.

1:55:351:55:39

All that remains is for us to show you

1:55:391:55:42

some of the mistakes that we've spotted in our own show.

1:55:421:55:44

For example:

1:55:441:55:45

Technology plays an increasingly vital role in the movies...

1:55:451:55:49

'Did you notice that in this clip

1:55:491:55:51

'there was a silver warrior robot in shot?'

1:55:511:55:54

I always say the key to a successful double act...

1:55:571:56:00

'This link looks fairly uneventful

1:56:001:56:02

'but let's see that again.'

1:56:021:56:04

I always say, the key to having a successful double act...

1:56:061:56:09

'You can clearly see they've used a stunt Robert for this scene.'

1:56:091:56:13

But the worst mistake of the show has to be

1:56:131:56:16

forgetting to write a proper ending.

1:56:161:56:18

So, um, bye, I guess.

1:56:181:56:23

That's it.

1:56:231:56:24

But stick around, there's probably some show about pregnant teens next.

1:56:241:56:28

Subtitles by Red Bee Media

1:56:461:56:49

Email [email protected]

1:56:491:56:52

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