05/12/2011 The One Show

Hello. Welcome to the One Show with Alex Jones. And Matt Baker. Today's

guest spends so much time on the road that he describes himself as

the travelling salesman of comedy. Shall we let him in? Go on then.

It's Jimmy Carr! Do you like our tree. If only you could have found

Is it? I thought woolies had closed down. But you have connections.

you a busy boy. You're often called the hardest working comedian.

That's a misnomer. What do we do, an hour a day at most. Being on

tour, you constantly travel. Do you get time off? No, I have a job that

I love. It's great. You know what you're doing up to Christmas 2013.

I have put a gagging order tour on sale. I put in Christmas 2013.

That's a lot. Isn't it. People can book now to see you then? Yeah, if

they want. Don't feel you have to. Other comedians are available. Go

and see someone else. There are lots of funny boys and girls out.

There More from Jimmy later. Security systems in new cars are so

sophisticated thieves often have to steal the keys to get away with the

vehicle. Simon Boazman was surprised to discover where these

There's nothing more heart breaking than watching your pride and joy

being pinched. The way car thieves operate and what they do with your

car once they have the keys is changing. Security systems in

modern cars are so effective, you're now more likely to come face

to face with a thief. In thap year Ken and his daughter were targeted

after being followed onto private land. I parked up on the side. I

walked back to give her a hand... Leaving the car unlocked? Yeah,

with the keys in, and left the engine running. We pulled the gate

to and we watched him. My daughter man icked -- panicked. He got in

the car. My daughter was at the car as he slammed the door and said,

thank you very much and drove O If my daughter had gone round the

front of the car to stop him, which she could have done, he'd have run

her over. Ken's Range Rover dais peered without trace. He soon had

more bad news. Insurance wonts pay up because I left the keys in the

car with the engine running, though it's on private ground. I never

even thought people would be watching me. How much are you out

of pocket? It was two years old when it got stole be, -- stolen. �

34,000 to �40,000. How does it make you feel? Bit sick really. I've had

my money and people can just take it away. Shelley was arriving home

to her young children when she was robbed on her doorstep. Before I

knew it I was standing here, he was there, had a balaclava on, hood and

just said give me your keys and I won't hurt you. Needless to say I

gave him my keys. Just like Ken, police believe Shelley had been

followed home in her Audi. I went towards the door and he said "Don't

call the police yet and I won't hurt you." Initially after, when he

drove off, I became hysterical. After her terrifying ordeal.

Shelley eventually reached a settlement with her insurance.

Shortly after she received an unexpected phone call. I found out

where my car was when the insurance company rang to say actually it's

been found in South Africa. It was part of a much bigger criminal

organisation. So how does a car stolen here end up in South Africa?

The answer lies in ports like this, every day thousands of containers

leave our shores. There's growing evidence they're being used to ship

thousands of stolen cars from the UK every year. That's exactly what

happened to Ken and Shelley's vehicles. Both were stolen by the

same criminals before being loaded onto containers full of other

expensive cars and shipped to Africa. But the investigative team

were on their trail. How did you locate all these stolen cars?

picked up a container randomly that's was going out of the country.

From that, working with the shipping industry, and doing a good

paper trail with them, we were able to identify a number of other

consignments, we were able to get the containers intercepted in South

Africa as soon as they arrived. What kind of value are we talking

about, there's 19 cars here? Conservetively these are worth �

500,000 all together. Among them is one vehicle waiting to be reunited

with his owner, the Range Rover Ken bought himself as a retirement

present. Good gracious me. That's mine! I reckon that's mine. What's

it like seing it again? Brilliant. I never thought I'd see it again.

Most of the stolen cars, including Shelley's Audi, will be sold at

auction by the insurers hoping to recover some of the money they've

already paid out on them. Because Ken never got a pay out, he will

get to drive his home. We got it. That's one for us. My daughter says

she wants to stick it where it was stolen and take a picture of it and

say there we are, we got it back. Indeed. Not the only car ending up

in South Africa in the next few days. Classic! I see what you've

done there. You are genius. That's a good film. No-one thought that

was happening in the end. Five minutes and get the car back.

other service can you offer? reason they're going to South

Africa is like any good scam it's seen as a high reward and low risk.

Because of the way the shipping system works, good gangs can get

cars in containers without putting hands on them. If you don't touch

the car, getting caught is very small. In Africa it's worth a huge

amount of money. It's the weird thing that people don't get

arrested for stealing a car is it TOKing?, taking without owner's

consent. I know this, and it's your job, come on. Take an interest in

this. They've made the technology too good so people break into your

house now to get the keys. They've made it worse. Yes. I'd rather

leave the keys in the car and have it stolen than have someone attack

me in a balaclava. Shall we talk about the weather. On a different

note. It's turned freezing. Very cold today. It's not his fault.

Well, this is the M74 in Lanarkshire. There's snow in Durham.

The institute of advanced motoring have offered tips. There's a link

on the website, go there nor further information. Some of the

basics is if the police are issuing weather warnings, don't go out.

Take advice from the police. Don't use country roads or housing

estates, they're far less likely to be gritted. Advanced driving school

have said stay at home. Their advice is don't drive? Clear your

windows, make sure there's no snow on the cars before you go out and

you should be OK. Before you go out, but don't go out. Clear the snow

off the car and stay indoors. They always say no essential journeys.

Who's just going for a spin? They're all essential. Talking of

driving, you have tyre news as well. Just want to clarify the legal

limit for tyre tread in the UK is 1.6mm, it comes from a film from a

while back. It's acrass three quarters of the central tyre, so

you have to check everywhere if you're going to check your tyre.

How do you spell circumference. They recommend the 20p test. If the

outer rim of a 20p is visible when you drop it into the grooves of

tyre they advise it might be an idea to get new tyres. If you can

see the outer rim. Because it's getting wet now, anything with less

than 1.6mm on your stopping distance increases. Get your tyres

checked. Or ask your dad. Ask your dad or anyone in a HGV. They'll

know. All right. They know everything. Everyone's looking for

ways to save money. More and more people are using internet vouchers

that trigger huge discounts if enough people sign up for a

particular offer. One company Group On is being investigated because of

claim that's savings are exaggerated.

These days from the moment we wake up, there's bargains to be had.

There'scy certain David Dickinson once said "It's time to go bargain

hunting". 20% off Origami lessons. That should come in handy. Half

price golf equipment, bargain. There are literally thousands of

discount vouchers available for a range of products and experiences.

I wonder if there's one for double glazing? These days, coupons are

big business. People are saving �50 billion a year with vouchers and

discount codes. How do you find the bargains? Have a look online, look

round the shops. Monsoon had vouchers last week. I had a dress

for 25% discount. Free Pizza Express, cinema vouchers. I will go

to those shop it's they give me a voucher. Someone who can show most

of us how to save more than a few pennies is Debbie. Before I go

shopping any time, I go and have a look on the internet just to find

out what's out there. What are your top tips for saving money? You need

to know the price you are paying currently for the things you buy.

Because if you don't know what you're currently paying you won't

recognise a bargain when you see it. What would you say would be the

best bargain so far? Two mattresses, that I have ordered. I'm waiting

for them to arrive on Groupon. I paid �300, �150 each. They are

telling me I saved �1200 by doing that. �1200, now that is a saving.

It was that kind of a bargain that this bakery was looking for when

they put a 75% discount voucher online. What we were offering was

75% discount from the usual price of �26 down to �6.50. We expected

from the advice that we would get probably 250 orders a week and that

turned into something like 4,000. They are thinking, this is exciting.

This is a fantastic opportunity. 250 a week, we can deal with that.

That's based on their discussions with yourselves. Yeah the issue is

that I find it unlikely that the sales represent would have said

maybe 250-odd. It's difficult to comment because I wasn't in the

conversation. What was the impact of this on the business? Everybody

here was working ten, 12, 14 hour days. We had to get lots more staff

in. We're not a mass production outfit. We're not used to that kind

of through put. It was crazy. understand that Groupon offers can

put pressure on businesses. The key message from that and the learning

for businesses out there is that preparation, we're clear on working

out how many vouchers we can sell. We have two key customers, the

first of which is the business, the second is the customer. Consumers

as well, people who have been taking up the vouchers have been

having a bad experience and now the Office of Fair Trading have said

you know, some of the stuff you have put out there has been

misleading. We're in full compliance with the investigation.

We have the same goal. We want customers to get a great offer. We

have nothing to hide. We're completely transparent. If --

people have a problem, what's the come back? We have a fully

functional customer service team. We have the Groupon promise F

you're not happy with the offer, we'd like it talk to you. If you're

not happy with, it we'll look at giving your money back. It added

that it relies on business partners to make the final decision on how

big the offer should be and 75% of subscribers would recommend to

others. Do you like a bargain? Everyone likes a bargain. It's a

bit hunter damage rer, just go into the store and pretend you're on the

apprentice. There's hidden cameras everywhere, I need a discount. I

was on the Groupon's guy side. It seems like an odd item, you're very

much on the consumers friend, that guy was going we gave 75% off cakes.

It's the quantity of the offers that's the Irish you. Too many

people getting good deals, OK? That sounds bad. Too many people getting

a fair deal. Would you sell tickets through those websites? For a live

show? I would be weird about that. We never discount tickets. If

people pay to see the show, it's the most annoying thing on a flight,

if you're at a comedy show, and somebody went I paid �8 for my

ticket. You'd be gutted. They all have to pay the same. That seems

fair. Let's see you in your seventh DVD, Being Funny. Have we found a

clip we can play? Yeah, indeed. really.

This is going to be short. Enjoy it. The first few weeks of joining

Weight Watchers, you're finding your feet.

LAUGHTER Are there any parents in?

CHEERING Has been got parents? Had you to

think about that, you're an idiot. Parents have got a favourite. If

your parents told you they didn't have a favourite, all that means is

you weren't it. If you're an only child and your parents went out of

their way to tell you they didn't have a favourite, that is bad.

APPLAUSE I did a joke there about Weight

Watchers on that clip. It's not easy losing weight. I've had

complaints about that. A woman came up to me, a larger lay lady, big

boned. She said "How do you think I feel?" I said "Skwidgey. You've

lost weight as well. A lot of weight. It was just life on the

road. You're eating late night, unhealthy food, being a comedian is

an unhealthy thing. You're up and down the motorways, eating pasties

or whatever it is that's open at that time. You're constantly

touring. How well do you know the country do you think? Inside out.

This is going into a game. We're putting your knowledge to the test.

I've been to every town in Britain. I don't do the big rooms.. I do

limb rooms. I think the smaller the town, the better the response.

have snapshots of places. If we show you three, can you guess where

are you? Yeah definitely. Give it a ring. It's a reception bell. I love

You performed here the 29th January, 2009, 27th September, 2011. Leny

Henry was born here. Dudley. It is! APPLAUSE

The Town Hall in dud sli where I play. It's really nice. Totally

from Birmingham. Here's the next I've got it. Inverness. Good.

you're a comedian, you're on stage for two hours a night, the rest of

the day I'm round the shops. Looking for deals. Looking for

deals on Groupon. Let's see if we can bankrupt this baker. OK. You

did very well. Two out of two. know two towns in Britain. From

Inverness to Somerset now. The Heath family got in touch with us

because they had a mystery that needed solving. Time for Detective

In a house in Somerset there are sorry sights to behold for the

Heath fallily. There are no eggs for their toasted soldiers. No

butter for the sandwiches. And no cakes are being baked. But why?

Because something or someone is stealing food right off the Heath's

doorstep. I've come town cover exactly who or what is poaching the

eggs and butter. This summer is the first time it's

happened. It's become a weekly occurrence. Helen, come on, what's

been going on? Well, it's just been really strange because we've had 18

months of milk deliveries, then suddenly one morning we went to

collect the eggs and the egg box had been eaten. Something had eaten

all around and taken the eggs out and eaten some of the eggs. They'd

taken a pack of butter and drag today part way down the path.

any idea what might be nicking the butter? I think a badger, because a

badger is down there. Your prime suspect is a badger. And you're a

friend of the family, what do you think? I think it's a bear that's

escaped from the zoo. A bear! That's known as a long shot, but a

funny one. And Emily, what do you think? I think it's a fox or badger.

I think it's something smaller. We saw a little claw mark in the

butter one day. I think it's something like a stoat. Mammals

seem to be the chief suspects. To solve the mystery the Heaths have

left the body of evidence undisturbed. Here we are! The scene

of the crime. You see where the yolk has run on the flag stone. The

egg box is down there. Where did the butter end up? That was dragged

down the path. Just looking round here and checking out the evidence,

it's much clearer to me what is probably causing this. I think for

you chaps, the plot is thickening. Definitely. Very much. Looking at

the carnage left behind I can definitely rule out a mammal being

the perpetrator. Firstly, the eggs haven't been removed from the scene

of the crime. Where they have been broken, they've not been smashed to

bits. There's just a hole in one side. That tells me the culprit

hasn't got four legs, it's got two. So, what can it be? The milkman

usually delivers the milk, eggs and butter around 5am. The Heaths are

often about by 8am, leaving plenty of time for the culprit to commit

the crime. The One Show team set up motion detecting cameras, a packet

of butter and a tantalising fresh car ton of eggs, hoping the guilty

party would be caught on cam ra. Luckily, those greedy well doers

were. The One Show has solved your who done it. Are you ready to see?

This clip will reveal all. You weren't even in the right group of

That's a magpie. That's amazing! I never thought it was a bird

never thought it was a bird actually. This is absolutely

brilliant. They are really clever birds. They're a member of the crow

family. They're really smart. They're taking advantage of a

window in between when the milkman comes and when your mum and dad get

up. Isn't that astonishing. eggs are smashed because of its

beak. The beak is really strong on magpies. Do you remember the

butter? Watch this. It comes up to the camera and makes sure the coast

is clear and drag it's down the garden path. That's amaigz. I've

never seen them doing this before. They will eat berries, fruit, but

particularly when they're raising their chicks, they steal lots of

eggs from other birds' nests and take chicks out of the nests.

They're real predators. I never thought it would be birds. I just

think it's weird. With this new- found knowledge, Helen's eggs and

butter will be placed well out of harm's way. The magpies will have

harm's way. The magpies will have to look elsewhere for their free

breakfast. Mystery solved. How dare he!

delightly worried, what's the item about, magpies' cholesterol level?

Serious health issue here. Leave some all bran out. Poor little

things. Diabetic magpies. Something must be done. As you said in the

film, magpies are from a particularly clever family.

crow family. We think parrots or mynahs, but this is a raifpb,

they're coming in to -- raven, they're coming in to winter roost.

If three people walk into the roost before it goes dark, they won't go

in unless all three come out F two come out, they won't come in. They

can count. They can fly as well. During your research, you have come

up to another bird not related to the crow, but could be related to

the Carr family. Yes, this hornbill called julio was spotted by Seann

Walsh. -- Gary Gary Warlow in Whitstable. Let's hear the laugh.

It's very close. That is remarkably similar and slightly humiliating.

Thank you very much. It's a weird laugh. Each year Christmas cards

raise an estimated �50 million for charity. When they were first

invented they caused a scandal. million times, but rather than

spreading seasonal goodwill, the very first commercial Christmas

cards caused something of a controversy. It all began in 1843

with a packed diary of one Mr Henry Coal.

# Ding dong merily on high... # He was the Renaissance man in

Victorian London. He was a designer, inventor and entrepreneur, a book

publisher, a leading light in the great exhibition of 1851 and he

still found time to found the Victoria and Albert museum. This

was one busy bee. Too busy to write to all his nearest and dearest at

Christmas, Henry had a brainwave. He would commission a thousand pre-

printed cards that he could send to friends and relations and then sell

the rest in his shop. But his inspired idea was at odds with the

rising puritan tide. The card was designed by leading artist JC

Whoresly. He came up with a middle class family scene, with

festivities being enjoyed and good works for the poor being done. But

look closely, a young child is sipping from a large gablet of wine.

-- goblet of wine. Scandal. Alcohol was thought to be the demon drink

by the teetotal tem prance movement who demanded complete abs napbs.

Crusading against public drunkenness the movement was

gaining momentum. The public promotion of alcohol on a Christmas

card was too much for some to bear. There had been concern about people

drinking since the 18th century, but after the passage of the beer

act in 1830, when drink became much more available and there was much

more public drinkenness, the movement to make tem prance tea-

totallism was born, so not having any alcohol at all. The movement

swept the country. There were many, many temperance societies. What

would have been the reaction to seeing that image on a Christmas

card? I think it would have been absolute horror. This would be like

a red rag to a bull, because people would have seen illustrations

promoting temperance showing a child being given drink by its

mother. To have that in a Christmas card would have been appalling.

as we know, there's no such thing as bad publicity. Word spread about

the card and its alcoholic youngster. Sales rose. The first

thousand print run sold out. And a reprint was ordered.

# Hark, the herald angels sing # Glory to the newborn king #

He had a Christmas hit on his hands, and the tradition of mass produced

Christmas cards had begun. And how smart was this? Three years earlier,

in 1840, he had also helped to invent the way these cards would be

delivered. He was one of the men behind the penny post. What he was

really good at was publicity. He publicised pro, deucing leaflets,

pamphlets, doing dramatic sketches. He did cartoons. He even did jokes

where he invaded Post Offices. Anything to bring the cause to the

penny post to the public eye. Three years after the introduction, here

he is promoting a Christmas card which will massively boost the

sales of postage stamps. Henry created a scandal that created a

global multimillion pound industry. Little can he have known 170 years

after he sent the first one, the Christmas card would still be going.

So as you write yours, don't be too quick to curse him, before Henry,

you'd have been writing Christmas Very festive. Thanks very much

Jimmy. Don't send me a card with a letter telling me how good your