08/02/2012 The One Show

Hello and welcome to The One Show, with Matt Baker. And Alex Jones.

And we're back in the studio after last night's special show from

Buckingham Palace. Where did you get that? Nowhere. LAUGHTER A big

thank you to everyone who sent messages. And di buy it from a shop.

Just to clarify. If you had problems last night registering on

the website for the ballot for tickets to the Diamond Jubilee

concert, don't worry. There was a huge amount of people doing the

same and it caused some congestion on the site. Everything is back up

and running today, and don't forget - the tickets are not first come

first served and you have until 2nd March to apply, so there's still

plenty of time. Back to tonight, and we're talking

about one of the funniest bridges in Scotland. The Forth Bridge?

funny. The Tay Bridge? Couldn't crack a joke if it tried. OK. What

about the man who's been called the best Scottish stand-up of his

generation? Now you're talking. It's Kevin Bridges!

CHEERING Good to see you, Kevin. As we were saying, we were in the

Palace yesterday. Such a shame you couldn't have been our guest then.

I would have loved that. Have you met the Queen? No, never. This

year? No, I've never bumped into the Queen. You don't bump into the

Queen. Not really. I haven't done the Royal Variety Show. So far you

have had an incredible career for such a young lad. We'll get to that

later. And Superintendent Brandreth of the Yard will be opening a case

file on a murder which scared a whole village into silence.

The current housing crisis has meant that a growing number of

landlords are cashing in by cramming tenants into dangerous

properties. Even garden sheds. Anita Rani has been out on patrol

in one of the worst-hit areas to see just how bad it can get. 21st

century Britain. Shocking images of the conditions in which some people

are living. All of these pictures were taken in the borough of Newham,

East London. Newham is one of the most deprived boroughs in England

and the council here have seen a huge rise in slum conditions in

rental properties. Much of the accommodation is made up of so-

called supersheds, small outbuildings which unscrupulous

landlords build without planning permission. This one was rented to

four adults, netting the landlord an astounding �12,000 a year. The

planning enforcement team are expecting the incidences of problem

rental properties to more than double in the coming year. The

council uses aerial photography to track down landlords who risk the

wellbeing of their taents by renting illegal accommodation.

Newham Council officers have been tipped off that there's a property

that's potentially being rebted out illegally. -- rented out illegally.

The biggest problem the team face is getting into the houses to

inspect them. Eventually their persistence pays off. Inside we

find a tenant whose room seems to have been created from part of what

was once the kitchen. Did you speak Hindi? Yes. He tells me that he

shares the room with his wife who is studying in the UK. This chaps

is from Gujarat and pays �60 a week. The room is cramped and the doorway

opens directly into the communal kitchen. This is typical of the

conditions that Christine sees every day. The tenants renting here

are not doing anything wrong. Christine's team finds seven other

rooms in the house, one of which is crammed with beds for four people.

There is no telling how many people use this extremely basic condition

and outside toilet, and at the back of the house we discover a newly

built shed. More room that could potential I will be filled with

future tenants. We've just seen a building being erected at the back.

We've come into the property and found one of the rooms occupied by

a gentleman and his wife. The front room has two bunk beds, four beds

in there. Upstairs there are three further rooms being represented out.

We couldn't get in there. And there's a room in the roof being

rented out. What's problem of that man having that room for his wife?

From a planning point of view, anything more than six people

sharing a house requires planning permission. So there is a problem

there. And this poor chap with his bedroom off the kitchen, if the

kitchen catches fire, he can't go anywhere. It's lethal, that

property. The problem isn't just confined to this section of the

country. Across the UK complaints about serious and potentially life-

threatening hazards such as gas and electricity connections have gone

up by 25% Some cases the rent for these slums can coming out of your

pocket. One survey showed �3.5 billion of taxpayers' money is

being paid to effectful landlords who fail to repair properties,

harass and illegally evict tenants. Christine's team have plans to use

thermal images of the area to zero in on outbuildings that could

potential I will be used as rental accommodation. We are dealing with

properties that are under the radar. They are living in squalor. This

council is trying to ensure that everybody lives in a properly-

created dwelling house and has a proper life. Unscrupulous landlords

are notoriously difficult to police. Newham Council is planning to force

landlords to register before they can rents out a property. If they

don't register, they'll be breaking the law.

Anita is here. As bleak as it seems this is the only type of property

that some people can get into isn't it? These landlords are exploiting

vulnerable section of society which for whatever reason can't get

social housing, and charging them extortionate amounts of money.

Three people died last year in this type of accommodation. You said

that Newham are planning on getting landlords to register. Which will

be rolled out across the country? In Scotland, if you are a landlord

you have to be registered full stop. Northern Ireland, it looks like

they are going the same way This country, in England, different

councils can do it their own way, depending on their situation.

Newham wants to roll out to say if you are a landlord you have to

register with them by 2013. But in Oxford and Sheffield, they have a

voluntary accreditation system for landlords. You can go and check. If

you are a landlord and you own a property and are unsure what to do,

ask your council. Kevin you have moved out of your house. I'm not

suggesting that it is anything like that! On the topic of sheds... I

have a mattress in my mum and dad's garden hut! No, I have a nice gaffe

in the nice bit of Glasgow. Does your mum do the housework? My mum

has a job as a home help, so she has spare time, as I see it, so I

employed her to come up and clean my house. I'm 25 and I have a home

help. She's probably watching now and cleaning. There's a KitKat

wrapper under the couch. A couple of socks. She comes up. She's good.

Only when I'm away. I never go shopping. That's every guy's dream.

Get your mum to come round and clean up. You are spoilt, Kevin.

Barack Obama could soon be looking for a new house if he loses the US

Presidential elections later this year. One of the frontrunners

hoping to get into the White House is particualrly in the spotlight

because of his Mormon faith. Simon Boazman thinks we should all

learn a little more about Mormons. Brace yourself for some terrible

singing. # America, God shed his grace on

thee, stkwhrrks US presidential hopeful Mitt Romney is not only the

Republican front run ir but he's a devout member of the Church of

Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, meaning he could be the first ever

Mormon President. But although it's a fast-growing religion, claiming

800 new converts every day around the world, it would seem that the

people in the UK don't know a great deal about it. I think they are

allowed to have quite a few wife es. You give them half your wages.

Lake City in America, a kind of cult. I don't know anything about

Mormons. These young men should have the answers. All young single

Mormons are encouraged to become missionaries, so for these elders

that means two years devoted to spreading the Mormon word, when

they can persuade people to listen. Excuse me? My friend and I share a

message on how families can be together forever. This book talks

of Jesus Christ. Despite the brush- offs they are still smiling and

agreed to tell me anything about Mormonism. Two guys in your early

20s, why are you called elders? means teacher or missionary. That's

our title. You seem to be rolling up to people in the street. What

are you saying to them We are hoping to help others understand

our beliefs better and then set a time that we can go and see them

and teach them more. We could give you our number and if you are

interested, give us a call. I know you are not that far from home. You

are not allowed to see your family for two years, how tough is that?

It is just two years. I know that through this my family gets blessed,

so I would city here for the two years knowing that they are going

to get blessed in return. Do you ring her up and make sure she is

alright, your mum? No, I speak to her at Christmas and on Mother's

Day. She's doing fantastic. normal 21 and 22-year-old, what are

the restrictions you are under? don't smoke, we don't drink alcohol

and we don't partake of illegal drugs. I don't view them as

restrictions, but as a blessing, to allow us the opportunity to keep

our bodies clean so the spirit can be with us more. Mormonism was

founded in 180 in America and its headquarters are in Salt Lake City,

Utah. They identify as Christians, but there are some differences

between their beliefs and mainstream Christianity. They

believe Christ's modern church has been restored by apostles. The

first Mormons came to the UK in 1837 and now Bishop Turner preachs

to 200 in Chorley, Lancashire. Family is important to all Mormons,

so Bishop Turner spends at least one it in a week reading, playing

and -- praying and playing games. have heard that everyone in the

Mormon faith has to hand over a proportion of their salary? That's

true. I have never failed to give 10% of my income to the Church.

people in the Mormon church can have many wives, is that true?

That's not true, but I'm sure it is a common misconception. It is not

something the Church practises. It is against civil and Church law.

Where does that belief come from? small percentage of the Church

practised polygamy and it was outlawed. It is not something we

You have to look at the name of the church. It's the Church of Jesus

Christ of Latter-day Saints. There is nothing cultish about the Church

of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We invite everybody to come

and find out more about the church and examine for themselves. With

more than 2,000 members here in the UK and Mitt Romney's beliefs likely

to become an election issue in America we could be hearing a lot

And, as if this was pre-planned, you actually -- you actually went

to a party hosted by a Mormon, didn't you? It was all right. They

do not drink, so it was just drinking Red Bull and getting sober.

Did you have a good time? It was good, there was a lot of energy in

the party, because alcohol makes you a bit lethargic. Loads of Red

Bull and all of that. The idea is, you're going in search of material.

Yes, you will see some stand-up footage from Glasgow, and then me

going behind the routine. I did a routine about American house

parties, compared to the parties that we would be used to. That was

only because I had used this particular name, doing my stand-up

stuff, this guy, who got bombarded on Facebook, and it turned out to

be a real guy. He e-mailed me, telling me he has got 15,000 new

Facebook mates, all from Glasgow. It gave me this idea for the series,

we flew over and met the guy. We were hoping it was going to be a

New York was something, and we found out that it was the home of

the Mormon church. Amazing, really friendly people. In every episode,

you met a comedian, did you? Yes, Frank Skinner is on tonight. And in

a couple of weeks, you meet James Corden, don't you? Yes, I went back

to do a show in my old school. It was all about school memories.

you were talking about changing for physical education. Yes, we were

both the fat guys at school. I used to just embrace the fact that I was

big. At any point you're about to be told off, you do that, everybody

thinks it's funny. And then it's, can I get dressed now? But were you

dying inside? Of course, it is the worst time to tell people to get

changed in front of each other. There is no good time, when you're

13, 14, 15, it is so cruel that twice a week you make kids going to

a room and take their clothes off. That was cut out just in time, it

was going to go a bit post- watershed. It is on at 10:45pm,

tonight. It is a big night for you. Yes, I hope it is good, it has been

done now, so you can just forget about it and hope people enjoy it.

You were talking about getting changed and things, one thing you

do not want is communal changing rooms, and you did work in a shop

before, didn't you? I worked in TK Maxx. You did not tell anybody

about your stand-up comedy duo, originally? No. But why keep it

from your friends, when you were doing stand-up? I just gave it a go,

it was a one-off thing, I always got in trouble in school for being

funny, so I tried to make it something positive, go and give

stand-up comedy a go. The gig went well, they phoned me, and I thought,

all right, we are on to something here. It was something me and my

dad did. I never played football and all of that kind of stuff. My

dad doesn't drink, so we never went down the pub for a pint. And then I

thought, if my mates showed up, they would win it. And also,

because everyone on the bill, they were all drama students with

degrees and stuff, and I was worried that my mates would think,

these guys were mental. So I thought I would just keep them to

one side. Then I got a review, and one of my old teachers brought it

into the school. And then my friends sussed out it was me. And

the next gig was a sell-out, I knew everybody in the audience. That's

on tonight at 10:40pm, Kevin Bridges - What's The Story?. In

case you did not know, next Tuesday is Valentine's Day. We want you to

write a poem for your loved one. And we want you to send it into us.

Six lines or less, keep it clean, and make it really good - or really,

really bad. And you can send it to this address... We are looking

forward to reading them. Now, Valentine's Day is particularly

well remembered in one English village for a bizarre crime which

took place 67 years ago. Yes, Inspector Gyles has reopened the

very strange case of Charles Walton. In 1964, a revolutionary new crime

drama was opened by the BBC, based on the real-life investigations of

this man, legendary detective Robert Fabian. He was famous for

his thoroughness, tenacity, and for embracing the new techniques of

forensic science. But this was a case he would never crack, and

which would haunt him for years to come. It is a tale of murder and

witchcraft, set in the sleepy village of Lower Quinton in

Warwickshire. On the evening of St Valentine's Day 1945, the local

constabulary was called to a murder scene. In a field near Meon Hill

lay the body of a 74-year-old man, his body was found pinned to the

ground with a pitchfork, and he had been slashed to death with this

instrument. Immediately, rumours began of ritual sacrifice. The

victim's name was Charles Walton, a farmhand from the village. His

macabre murder made headlines, and the Warwickshire Constabulary asked

Scotland Yard for assistance. They sent their best man, Fabian, hoping

his advanced crime-fighting techniques would crack the case.

When Fabian arrived, what were his initial thoughts? Initially thought

it was a simple robbery, and a murder, obviously. His money belt

had gone, his watch had gone, there was a motive for theft. What about

the nature of the killings? He was murdered in exactly the same way as

somebody who had been murdered many years before, which was believed to

be a ritualistic killing, all the signs of a witchcraft murder, to

appease the local gods and feed the earth. So, Fabian was wrestling

with two strike for possibilities - a straightforward murder, or a

murder motivated by witchcraft? Absolutely. By mid-afternoon the

next day, Detective Inspector Fabian had brought the 20th century

to the village, an RAF surveillance plane shot across the countryside,

providing high resolution photographs of the surrounding area.

The images were so detailed, they even picked out the bloodstains on

the trampled grass. Fabian's detectives began to plot the

movements over the previous 24 hours of every last resident in the

surrounding area. But this was where Fabian's cutting-edge

technology was brought to its knees by a village determined to keep a

secret. By the end of the week, Fabian had interviewed all 493

villagers. He was troubled by their reluctance to talk, except about

the failure of that year's harvest. He was also met by a collective

silence when he entered the local pub. But 66 years on, people are

still talking about why Fabian was stonewalled by the entire village.

Graham Saunders was a child at the time. I remember groups of men

going from house to house in the village, with clipboards, wearing

long, dark overcoats and trilby hats. Why do you think people said

nothing? The people of Lower Quinton did not like to think that

this could happen in the village, and I think that is the reason why

they just shut up. Why do you think this happened? I believe that it

was an outsider. There's little to remember Charles Walton by today.

Even his headstone is missing from the graveyard. But it was a case

which Fabian could not forget, because modern forensics had failed

him. Fabian was convinced that the villagers knew the answer, but

would take it to their graves. These are the last words in his

The case is not yet closed. A remarkable story, I'm delighted to

say that the grandson of Fabian has joined us in the studio. Now, he

was a remarkable policeman. Yes, when I was a boy, he was the first

TV detective, a national hero. Back in 1939, Fabian of the Yard was at

a police station in the West End and there was an explosion at

Piccadilly. It was an IRA bomb that had detonated. He went into it, he

defused the bomb himself, single- handedly, and became a national

hero. Robert Fabian received two awards, the King's Medal for

gallantry, the other, an intriguing award, where he got a note saying,

please come to this pub. He turned up at a pub, and there were

London's underworld, saying, or we would like to salute you for the or

bravery, this is from the boys. And he got this cheque. This cheque was

given to my grandfather by the police reward for an for this

wonderful gallantry for �15. He did not cash it? No, he put it in the

book. Because he felt it was part of his line of duty, he was doing

this because that is what a copper should do. He was a really famous

copper. He had two maxims. What was his favourite? To be a good copper,

you have got to think like a criminal. And he did know the

underworld. What was the second one? I don't know, what was the

second one? To be a successful copper, you have got to be married

to the job. Yes, and unfortunately, that meant that his marriage was

not all that successful, either. One of those things. Thanks over so

much for coming in. Another great Scottish comedian, Billy Connolly,

walked off stage after being heckled recently. So, Kevin, just

for you, we have come up with this... Get on with it! All right,

calm down, here it comes. You will have to heckle better than that,

mace, or your face is going to be settled. What was that? Well, that

was the joke, but... But obviously, I did not know I was in a double

act. Life as a stand-up comedian is not always funny... Rubbish! In

alone on stage in front of an audience leaves you open to abuse.

Get on with it? But is heckling all pot of the job? Do we do what Billy,

he did recently, and just enjoy routine early? Get off! There's a

lot of stupid people in the world - you're all of them. You look at

someone, they're all going, off, off. Then you look at someone else,

doing the same thing. Then I looked at the back, and my wife was going,

off, off. She was trying to get me off, because I was dying. I started

doing some stuff which people had been laughing at, I was told, in

the dressing room. One girl at the front whispered to her friend, he

has lost it. And I heard that, that's how quiet it was in the room,

and all my confidence left me. should something be done about

hecklers? This man runs a successful comedy club in Scotland.

How do you feel about Billy Connolly? There is a world of

difference between audience interaction, a bit of report, and

on the other hand, somebody setting out to just interrupt and be

abusive and disruptive, which is what heckling is, so I think Billy

Connolly has got a fur point. worst ever one I had was from my

aunty. Up in Scotland, I got heckled by a dog. You could just

put your hand up and go, you're rubbish. As long as you engage with

him, and make out that he's the idiot, not you, then you're going

to win. I love the way you say that. I think it can be good, heckling,

because it can tighten up your material. You hear a heckler, is it

a good thing? No, it puts it down on their Act. It puts them off.

have to be honest with you, I am genuinely staggered by what

happened in there, because the majority of comedy fans, paying

punters, actually want to see comedians being heckled, and

they're quite disappointed if they do not deal with it. So, Kevin,

what's your process, have you got lines ready just in case? No, I

always try and take it as an individual. It is a bit of a myth

that you get a funny heckles, it is always just a drunk guy. One guy,

as soon as I walked on stage and he found out I was Scottish, he called

me a porridge Goblin. That made me laugh. Just something to break it

down and make it part of my act. So I asked him basically what it meant.