12/10/2011 The One Show

Hello, and welcome to the One Show with Alex Jones. And Matt Allwright.

Our guest tonight is a comedian, traveller and silent film fanatic.

You know him best as the long- running team captain from Have I

Got News For You. You might not know him as Janice. Believe it or

not, it is Paul Merton. APPLAUSE. Paul, that horrifying

image is of your new series. Yes, it is fairly horrific. We will be

finding out why you are dressed like that later. I wish I knew the

reason. But first, the 42nd series of Have I Got News For You is

starting on Friday. Have you been swotting up on current affairs?

Sort of. There of certain stories you imagine will come up but I

don't know. When it first started, 20 years ago, I used to read the

tabloids every day and after a while, you got an idea of something

that would come up. A basically, you win. Yes. There will always be

something you cannot possibly read up on. We thought we would have you

revise. Why is this lady This woman has given birth to a

huge baby, it is bigger than her. Not quite! That is rosy. She gave

birth to baby Zachary, who was 13 weight -- who weighed �13. 9 hours

in Labour. This was the man who came third in the marathon, which

was fantastic. The only trouble was, he jumped on a bus halfway through.

Why the other competitors did not realise they had been overtaken by

a bus, I have no idea, but he claimed to have come third. I think

you are ready for the next series! Round of applause! Plenty more from

Paul later. First, the remarkable Alex Stobbs first inspired the

nation in 2008 of the subject of a documentary called A Boy Called

Alex, which showed him battling a hereditary illness to conduct a

concert at Eton College Chapel. Three years later, research into a

new treatment that could change his life is under threat and Alex would

My name is Alex Stobbs and I am about to get stuck in on my first

day back at you me. It is my last tee at Cambridge, where I am lucky

enough to study what I love, music -- it is my last year at Cambridge.

I was also a chorister here for three years. Music is my passion

and if I am not studying and composing, I will be hanging out

with my mates, just like any other student. But unlike most people my

age, and was born with cystic fibrosis, which is an incurable,

inherited disease, and it affects over 9,000 people in the UK. It

clogs up the internal organs with thick mucus, making it hard to

breathe and digest food, so I cannot just tumble into lectures.

Like most people my age, I am terrible at waking up. I need to be

in lectures at 9am but before that, I have to sort out my health. I

have to take about 60 pills a day. Every time I eat. I have got to do

physiotherapy three times a day and take nebulisers three times a day.

It is a balance of doing what I want to do, like my work, and being

healthy and keeping my health in Music has always been a huge part

of my life. But over the last 18 months, my health has seriously

affected how much I can do. This year, I have spent nine weeks in

hospital and I was too ill to study. It set me back a year. So this term,

I need to keep healthy. You can imagine my huge disappointment when

I hear that the drugs trial, that allowed scientists to pinpoint an

effective treatment for cystic fibrosis, is under threat. These

charities funded trials have developed a revolutionary technique

they hope will fix the faulty gene that causes the disease. So I am

off to London to catch up with one of the scientists behind the

research. Where are we up to with the trials?

We are ready to start Phase Two, which is a one-year study to try to

really figured out if gene therapy corrects the gene problem and that

that translates into improvement in the symptoms that people with

cystic fibrosis have. I understand there is a funding problem. Who has

pulled the plug? It has simply been a case of the costs have gone up

over the last couple of years because the programme has gone on

longer than we are anticipated, in conjunction with the economic

downturn and less money coming into the Cystic Fibrosis Trust, and this

has left a gap of 6 million. What will the consequences be if funding

is not secured? It will be devastating at this stage not to be

able to finish the trial. I was not involved in the trials but 33-year-

old Alex from Hackney, London, was. As we both have cystic fibrosis, we

are unable to meet in person through fear of infection.

particularly interesting experiment was involved in putting saline salt

water through my nose and then seeing how well the cells in my

nose were responding to the salt and dealing with it. There has been

a lot of co-ordination, massive amount of research between

different bodies, co-ordination by the Cystic Fibrosis Trust, and it

has been a huge project. It will be so disappointing if it could not

run through to its conclusion. According to the latest UK Giving

report, the recession have led to a major drop in donations to

charities and as a result, they predict by 2015, the voluntary

sector will use of the �900 million, so it looks like the Cystic

Fibrosis Trust is not the only charity that we have to make tough

decisions about what it can afford to fund. My plans for the future

are really to do as much as I can. Composing, conducting, playing the

piano, and hopefully there is the potential for gene therapy to help

me do that. And we would like to wish Alex all

the best with his studies this year. Dr Sarah Jarvis is here. Welcome.

Could you explain what gene therapy means? With pleasure, if you have

an hour. We haven't! For everything our bodies do, every cell has genes

in it. In cystic fibrosis, there is one gene that has gone wrong, a

mutation, and that causes all the symptoms, but the worst ones tend

to be in the lungs. With gene therapy they are inhaling healthy

self- with the healthy gene, to try to get your body's abnormal cells

to work properly, to make the lungs work better. The problem is, cystic

fibrosis is one of so many very deserving causes and conditions

that need funding. How is it decided which one gets funding was

made it is so difficult when everything is so deserving. Do you

support something that will make a little change to millions, or

something that will make a huge change to a very small number of

people? It is really tough. There are lots of bodies out there,

research funds, the Department of Health, and basically, these

researchers are going to everybody to try to get a bit of money to

make it all add up. Thank you. Paul, as a traveller, you will agree that

flying nowadays is not the elegant experience maybe it used to be.

Would you agree? Absolutely. I would say it is not the elegant

experience maybe it used to be. If that helps. That his research! --

that his research! Particularly as Ryanair has suggested they might

take two out of the three toilets off their planes to make way for

more seats. If I have an accident, Ryanair, I am coming for you.

new drama series, Pan Am, will show, it is a long way from the 60s, when

the cabin crew exuded glamour. Siegle has gone to meet some

stylish stewardesses of skies gone For women in the 1960s who wanted a

glamourous and exciting career, the new world of air travel seemed to

offer them the possibility. New airlines and new routes opened up

the possibility of travel to previously unreachable destinations

and in the US, the airline that symbolised this aviation revolution

was Pan Am. The stewardesses had to go through a rigorous recruitment

process. You had to have a language, you had to be 21 and you could not

be over 35. You had to be single, gorgeous and a certain weight. If

once selected, the status and perks of the job were more than any young

flight attendant could dream of. You could ask out to dinner, four

times every flight! It was like a magic wand! We met a matador who

invited us to his bullfight in Seville, so my sister and I decided

we would go to see it, and then he gave us a letter of introduction to

Salvador Dali. There were endless invitations. The glamour was just

that the door was open if you wanted to walk through it. But it

wasn't just the Americans who had enviable air stewardess. The UK's

main airline in the 50s, it later became British Airways. Walking

through the airport, particularly at Heathrow, you would turn heads.

Lots of pretty stewardesses and handsome men and we would always

get invitations to parties because we bought a little bit of glamour

into their lives. I did meet celebrities. I met Shirley Maclean,

who gave me travel sickness pills. I met David Frost many times

because he flew backwards and forwards across the Atlantic a lot

in those days. So much so, he was almost part of cabin crew. I was

going all over the world and people thought of it as rather magical.

You are the first officer. Yes. have never seen men like the Pan Am

pilots since! Not this one. I am just being hospitable. I am just

helping you out, poor run some coffee. You spend a lot of time out

of the cockpit. They were nice and protective and, you know, I had a

crush on a few of them. I was very sad when I had to leave because

they really and truly loved it. was a big part of my life and I

I don't even care what it is about. That looks brilliant! Just up my

street! Pan Am starts on the BBC next month. Paul, we know you are a

traveller and fascinated with the glamour of Hollywood. Do you travel

in style? I don't know. Compared to how it was in the 1960s, I suppose

it is more comfortable than... It is more comfortable now I would

have thought. It is nice to be able to fly it in a class that is not

economy because I am quite tall so that can be a bit hairy. Do you

insist on that? If somebody else is paying! I do tend to if I can,

first class. I do not like flying. Many years ago, and was put up when

I had this incident with clear air turbulence, and you hit this thing

and there is no warning. I went on a simulated flights in and it cured

me and I have been fine since. No big crashes with turbulence, and it

doesn't move that much, but it feels like it does. You have a new

travel series on Channel 5, next Wednesday. 9pm. The last time we

saw you doing long trips but this is different. It is not quite so

far flung. We go to Scotland, we go down to Cornwall for a programme

about caravans, so do holidays people are perhaps more able to

afford than that India and China. It is closer to home. In the first

episode you spend the week on the largest cruise ship on the world,

the Allure of the Seas. It is It is an enormous ship. Presumably

you had a chance to pick your own destinations this time, being the

co-producer. I did not co-produce it, I wish I had! I think we sort

of felt that we have done the far- flung areas, and these kind of

programmes are difficult to make. We record about 25 hours of tape

just to make a half-an-hour show. It was still gruelling, but at

least we had a chance to make a programme in these islands, which

made a big change for us. In the first episode, you form a bond with

Sam, but your first meeting was not plain sailing. No. People have been

mentioning, who is the guy in the hat? Is he important? Is he?

not so much. Well, that's good. are in America, does anybody know

who you are here? No. I don't think important is the right word. No. I

hesitate to ask what you think the right word might be. Well, you're

funny. So, that's it? Yes. She's very good. Normally she works in

customer services. You can imagine, 6,000 passengers coming on the ship

every week, so for the first few days, she's very politely helping

everybody out. She's great. Going back to that photo... What's going

on? I think he looks like someone on Strictly, but I cannot work out

who. We were in Ibiza and it was all about losing inhibitions. I met

up with a drag Queen from Colombia. It was all about going out to join

this carnival parade, and so I did. It was all about the power of

costume and make-up, you start to become another character. Very

liberating. It is, extremely liberating, I recommend every man

in Britain does it tomorrow. Most of them do, I'm sure. Next

Wednesday, 9pm, that's Paul Merton's Adventures. We know that

you have hosted The One Show in the past. So you're a big fan of nature.

Yes. How would you feel about a programme about beetles and judo?

Hidden in the quiet areas of south- west London, there are martial-arts

experts using their skills on a daily basis. The warrior I'm

looking for can drag 120 times its own body weight. It is a master of

judo and wrestling. It is the stag beetle, and I'm keen to learn some

of its tricks. They are renowned for their fighting abilities, they

are the heavyweight contenders of the insect world. They reach a

whopping 7cm, it is the largest terrestrial insect in Britain.

They're incredibly well named, because these are just like the

antlers of a deer. But they are not antlers, they are actually

overgrown mouth parts, and they are fearsome weapons, used to get other

males out of the way. They fight for the right to mate with a female,

and when another male comes on the scene, they size each other up and

prepare for battle. The outcome will depend on Wall strength and

technique. At first, a tussle for the ultimate grip, so they can take

full control of their rival's body. Injuries are rare, thanks to a

thick external skeleton, which acts like body armour. To succeed, they

must pick their opponent up and flip them on to their back. To

understand how they can do such things, I have come to meet Olympic

medallist and professional judo coach Neil. They're using the lower

body, trying to get a good hold, where they can push from and Paul

from and dominate their opponent. It is very similar to judo, isn't

it? I can see a lot of similarities. Do you think I could do that to

you? I cannot see any reason why we cannot show you a few moves.

first lesson is to mimic the stability and strong stance of the

beetle. It is all about core stability, which comes from this

area here, and the legs. The wide stance and low profile makes the

beetles almost impossible to knock over. I'm going to push in and

settled and a resist me. But the beetles have one extra advantage

which I could never match. Each foot is tipped with a pair of rooks,

making it even harder for a rival to throw them on to their back. And

throwing his lesson number to. Round the waist, stepping in, and

rotate. But this is a painful learning process. That one hurt!

you want to try? This is exactly how they do it, by grabbing at the

the Government point around their opponent's body, to manipulate

their centre of gravity and throw them on to their back. And I'm just

starting to learn the technique myself. I just threw a double

Olympian! But that was practice. He now wants me to take him on head-

This just isn't working. I have got to act like a beetle. Low, wide,

strong grip. I am a human stag beetle, but not quite as good as

the real thing! Mike is with us now. You should pick up a few fighting

tips from no-one else but Paul That feels very strange! That was a

world record attempt, he's a sports journalist. He does this thing

where he has a relationship with pain, he doesn't mind it. He said,

kick me, so I did. The neighbours were wondering what was going on.

He was practising with his son earlier, and his son hit him on the

top of the though I here, and he said, not there, here! OK, so, the

stag beetles are clearly vicious, but there is a problem with real

stags as well? The red deer are causing an issue at the moment. You

can see what they're doing here, rutting. Us humans, most of the

time we choose one female. But the male red deer, they take over maybe

20 females. With their antlers, they are trying to keep other males

at bay. Are we at risk from them? There have been a few issues where

people have been a bit silly in some of the London parks. You have

to bear in mind, this is Britain's biggest land mammal. They're

absolutely full of testosterone at the moment, and they will let

nothing get in the way of them getting to their females. This poor

lady got in the way. If you're in trouble... There are some basic

tips - stay your distance, stay downwind, because they have got

sensitive smell, stay close to a tree, and if they start coming

towards you, walk away. Just walk away from that stag, it meant

nothing to you! Another man who knew his animals was Alf Wight,

otherwise known as James Herriot, the most famous vet in Britain. We

went to meet an extraordinary man who had a hand in both of their

lives. The James Herriot you will read about in the books his our dad.

And his books were not fictional, they were the stories that Jim and

myself were told by our father about himself. He was just a

practising country vet, and he was not allow us to call himself his

real name, because it was construed as advertising, it was non-

professional etiquette. So we had to find a name, and one night we

were watching a football match, and there was a goalkeeper playing for

Birmingham City that night against Manchester United, and he was

called Jim Herriot. - and the original house where we worked --

where father worked, and where we lived, where all of the stories

were based. This is our family room, and we did a lot of reading,

playing the piano, general family time. This is the Children's

Encyclopaedia. Dad used to sit with us and show us these wonderful

colour plates, and all of the poems we used to giggle at. He was a

great reader, but we hardly ever saw him read, because he was so

busy. Here, we have the fireplace, one of the few forms of heat in

this whole house. We used to sit here, scorched at the front and

cold at the back. I remember the curtains, they used to move in the

draft. I remember one day my father saying, are you cold, Jimmy? We had

short trousers, because he believed in toughening us up. I said I was

cold and he said, well, run. We used to run up and down the

corridors, that is how we kept warm. He often bathed us, and as soon as

we got out, we were told we had to jump. We'd be jumping as hard as we

could. By then we were nice and warm. We had terrific winters, but

the memories were warm, they were happy days. I'm now sitting in the

car which was actually used in the programme. My dad did not drive

this actual car, but he drove a car very like it. His original car had

no brakes, and I mean, no brakes, which has been documented well in

the stories. I would have been three when I started regularly

going around on his farm visits, and feeling like a very important

assistant. We both went around, helping, fetching and carrying,

opening gates. I was heartbroken at the thought of how he would manage

without me when I went to school. With tears in my eyes, apparently,

I said, can you manage in the week, Dad, I will be there at weekends?

As a small boy, I was fascinated with some of the old bottles which

used to be here in this funny Old Dispensary. In those days, the vets

made Derham medicines. It was watching him that made me become a

vet. By the time I was aged five, I thought I was a fully qualified vet.

Despite all the work, despite the fact that he was on call, including

weekends, he always found time for his kids. Coming to places like

this, every Sunday afternoon we were up here. Dad set a wonderful

example of just living life well. He worked hard, he played hard, and

his humour, I mean, he made us laugh. I remember a friend of mine

at school saying to me one day, it was a friend that we used take

around, and he said, I wish I had a dad like you have got. I never

forgot that. What a nice thing to say. You have got to have a sense

of humour as a dad. You have, not that I have been a dad, obviously.