15/12/2011 The One Show


15/12/2011

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Transcript


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Hello and welcome to the One Show with Matt Baker and Alex Jones.

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Tonight's guest is a funny lass who tickles everyone's fancy then she

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may be crowned Queen of Comedy at a mile night's Comedy Awards. Sarah

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Millican. Tonight, we will be telling you how you can save money

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this Christmas. Are you a big spender? No, we always have a limit.

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My family, we give a limit, a certain amount you are allowed to

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spend on each other, because otherwise it escalates and somebody

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spends too much and then you are shouting. You should never shout on

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Christmas Day. With Christmas decorations, do you bring out the

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old ones every year? I have a tiny fake Christmas tree. I did not have

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time in January to take it apart and take the decorations off so I

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put it into my spare room. I can't plug the lights and put it into the

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spare room, so I just had to bring it out and plug it in again. I

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think it is genius. Tonight, we are looking for the oldest, most loved

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decorations in the country that are still making the trip down from the

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loft. Send pictures of the ancient lights and baubles, even home-made

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decorations. Remember to get yourself in the photo. The older

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the decorations, the better they smell, don't you find? Now then, we

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have got a budget Christmas dinner as seen on a student website

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yesterday. It is less than �2 ahead and it only takes 10 minutes to

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make. Feast your eyes on this. Roast turkey has been replaced by a

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single wafer thin turkey slice. Potato waffles instead of roasties,

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and who needs chipolatas when you have cocktail sausages wrapped in

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processed ham? Is it still warm? Have you got a fork. It is

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strangely appetising. The thing is, it is all nice. Who does not like

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waffles? Who does not like waffles?! The important questions.

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Most people will not go that far to save the pennies but these ladies

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from the Women's Institute are going to show you how to make a

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home-made pressie tonight. Exciting. But first, the One Show family are

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back, being paid a visit by our savings Santa, Simon.

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We are expected to spend a whopping �21 billion on Christmas this year,

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with every adult spending an average of �437. At a time when we

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are tightening our belts, we thought it was time to give

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something back to our One Show family. If so far this year, we

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have made them live on �50 per week and then made them reduce their

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salt. This time, we are delivering something easier to swallow. Merry

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Christmas! The not you again! I have been so horrible to you this

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year but I thought I would bring you something nice this time.

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Christmas! Because this is the One Show, there is a catch - we want

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them to save money, not spend it. Let's get a bargain Christmas magic

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under way. Paper chains and cards. And I will leave the rest of the

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magic to us. If you have left it this late, making savings might be

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tricky, but if you are prepared to set a budget and stick to it, our

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money-saving expert thinks he can still save you a few pennies. Over

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to you. If you are buying a high- value item this Christmas, delay

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Christmas. Retailers have captive customers in the rush before

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Christmas. It is the highest price time of the year. January sales,

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the lowest price time of the year. So if you are buying the plasma TV,

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buy it in the January sales when it is cheaper. So, how will that go

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down? Open it and see what you have got. I owe you one present in the

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sales. I do not know if I could do that to the kids. Adults, yes, but

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not for the children. Would you be happy with that for this year and

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we will get you a present after Christmas? Yes. I like the box.

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Just get him a box for Christmas. Time for my Christmas down shift to

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challenge. Lots of people like to go up brand at Christmas, thinking

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they are getting a treat. Retail hypnosis. Who says hire brands and

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more expensive is better. Until you taste it with your tongue, you will

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not know. You should have a range of different goods, some high brand

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and some low brand. Which do you prefer? Lots of Christmas treats.

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Dive in. We have branded nuts and crisps begins the supermarket's own.

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Pre-cooked sausages against supermarket bangers. Finest mince

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pies against regular, and champagne against sparkling wine. He

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preferred the cheaper one. And it is a lot cheaper. We can get more

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bottles. For cheaper. Responsible drinking only! What about the

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snacks? Peanuts, those ones. All of the family preferred the

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supermarket peanuts. Which meant spies do you prefer? Those ones.

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George? -- mince pies. Actually, these were the most expensive. The

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adults preferred the supermarket regular ones at 17p each, compared

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to the supermarket top range at 42p each. When you do the Christmas

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shopping, what are you going to do? I will not go for the branded

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special items. I will look at the prices, because I know there is no

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difference in the taste. What about the Christmas tree? This is the

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cheapest we could find - �25 all-in. This was more expensive, �40. Come

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and stand next to the tree that you would like to see in your lounge

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this Christmas. You have all gone for that one. Well, maybe I can get

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Martin to change your mind. Your choice is simple. The tree that

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you're used to and the one you like, or the artificial one that will

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last longer and the cash that you will save year on year. Simon, show

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them the money. By Christmas 2014, that would save you around �135

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with the fake Christmas tree. Can I tempt anyone to join me? I have got

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one. No. Why? Because it smells of Christmas. There you go, this

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smells of Christmas, too. It will smell exactly the same. Can I tempt

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you? January sales are around the corner,

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the perfect time to buy cards, trees and tinsel. Get a cupboard,

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put them in and wait until next December.

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We are now in the One Show's craft corner with WI craft judge Gill

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Thomas and chutney supremo Gill Brand. Now then, they are going to

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show you how to make a home-made Christmas present. We do not want

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to know what it is. Are you any good at arts and crafts? I am being

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forced to make you a present, am I? What about my present? I will take

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some chutney home. Are you generally quite artistic? I was

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when I was a kid but I have not had time. Let's see what is on offer.

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Loads of things. Things with digital photos. Snow globes. Just

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make a little-seen and put a bit of candles sand and the litter inside.

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-- glitter. And a promise book. For people who would really like a

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Christmas present that is going to give their time to somebody,

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promised to do things. It is not like being on a promise! The sort

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of thing like keeping the biscuit tin full up all the time. There are

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little envelopes and you put your promise in there. You are going to

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keep your biscuit tin full up. By not eating any, or by constantly

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buying biscuits? As the goddess of jam and chutney, Sarah could make a

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hamper because they are expensive, about �200, some of them. And how

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nice to give home-made food. Banana chutney. Bananas, onions, pickle

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and vinegar. But if she does not have time, or if she does not want

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to make it herself, she could go to a farmers' market, or to the

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country market and buy them. We will show her how to dress the

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hamper. You have only got 10 minutes, so I don't know if you

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could make a chutney in that time. Keep it a surprise and we will have

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our present at the end of the show. Of course, the Christmas party

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season is in full swing and this week England footballer Gareth

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Barry turned up dressed as the famous children's book character

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Where's Wally. He still looks handsome. The idea behind the

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Where's Wally books is to spot him in a crowd, but Alex Riley discover

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that the man who invented him is even more elusive than Wally

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himself. The Where's Wally books have been delighting children since

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they were first published in 1987. 24 years later with over 50 million

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sold, the legend of Wally is going strong, but what do we know about

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him? He travels through time to visit interesting destinations

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throughout the world and he always wears the same trademark outfit.

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But the real fun is in trying to spot Wally, and his author, Martin

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Handford, is just as elusive. Excuse me, whereas Martyn from

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Where's Wally? Unfortunately, not at his publishers. I will spend the

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rest of the day trying to get closer to the enigma that is

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Whalley. What better way than to Can you see me supporting Barack

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Obama? Can you spot me? Can you see me? Think that was easy? Keep

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watching, they are going to get harder. What do you like about the

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Where's Wally books? It is hide- and-seek on the page. It is never

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the same. How would you describe him? He is fun and exciting and he

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is really stripey. It is quite tricky to find him because there

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are loads of people. Has anybody found all of them in all of the

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books? Yes, but a hard bit is finding the rest of the features,

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like the binoculars, the phones, the cameras. I don't suppose any of

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you know where the author is? The author, Martin Handford, has

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apparently not given an interview since 1990. Why is he so shy about

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publicising his books? A lot of illustrators who are artists would

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prefer to be in the studio are doing their work, quietly getting

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on with it. Think of authors like Hemingway, a very private person.

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JK Rowling does not necessarily like a lot of publicity either.

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Sometimes it can help the brand to stand on its own as well. We do not

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think of Martin Handford when we are reading Where's Wally. You do

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not know where he is, do you? Wally is a worldwide phenomenon. He

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has different names in different countries. This is John Moseley,

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possibly Britain's biggest Where's Wally fan. What makes him a proper

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one the lover? That must have really hurt. Why did you decide to

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get the Where's Wally tattoo? charity. It raised �2,000 for Great

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Ormond Street Hospital and we have more money coming in every day.

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can play at that game. Where am I? I am on the terraces at Old

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Trafford, enjoying the Proms in the Park. It is reassuring to know that

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a simple picture book like Where's Wally still captures the attention

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of children and adults alike. Talking of which, did you spot me?

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I'm a big fan of Where's Wally. is hard to see him sometimes.

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Really difficult to spot him. Sarah, you are very good at finding a

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Wally in the crowd with your stand- up. I cannot normally see anybody

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because it is dark. When people feel anonymous they are more

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inclined to shout out. I don't encourage it. I don't like it when

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they shout horrible things, just things that I have asked them,

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which is nice. Sometimes people are trying to be funny and you have to

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close it down and move on to find somebody else who is more funny.

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is risky because you have no idea of what they are like. That is when

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I feel like a proper comic as opposed to a funny writer who is

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telling jokes on stage. There are moments when anything could happen

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and it is terrifying but brilliant will stop You recently played in

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your home town of South Shields. Was that nerve-racking, or did you

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enjoy it more than the others? was terrifying because I had family

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in. I also had people from school. You know when you look somebody

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upon Facebook and you hope they are fat, or that they have loads of

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kids. It was the worst version of that, when they could come and

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watch me on stage from the darkness. There was somebody I used to play

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with when I was a baby, and somebody else I used to go out with.

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You must have featured that. ignored some people, to be fair. It

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was quite a small venue, so it was scary. Let's have a look at your

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DVD. One supermarket recently had a range of superhero knickers, and

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they are awesome. I have enough pairs that I can be invincible for

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five days in a row. I rang my sister because I thought she would

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want to know, and she said, what have they got on. I said I have got

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some with wonder woman and some with he-man's sister. There was a

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APPLAUSE So, you were saying you have She-ra underwear? Yes, and

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Wonder Woman now. Well, tomorrow you could wear these once... There

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you go, you said you were after a present. I could probably get them

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on an arm! Up one leg, thank you very much! Christmas crackers! Your

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dad has been helping you selling the DVDs, they have been incredibly

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successful, what is it, 100,000? Yes, we sold over 100,000, the

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first time a female comic has done it in 110 years. It is the second

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time that a female comic has done it ever. My dad, I am proud of him.

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He stands in HMV and when other people pick up DVDs of other comics,

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he says you don't want that, you want this one. He's a bibit of a

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character your dad, is he starring in a TV series that you are doing?

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Yes, I'm making a show for BBC Two, it is going out in the spring. My

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dad is good at advice. We used him in the pilot. We always Skype him.

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It is fun. The first time I saw him on Skype, it is hot in the highways,

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he was stripped to the waist. This time he had a shirt on as it was

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for telly. Is he alt home? Oh, yes, he is at home. Is he topless now?

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Watching this programme, he could be! Does it make you feel bad?

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Good? You are not sure. More weird for me, I'm guessing. And the

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Comedy Awards night, it is a big night. Yes, I'm not going to go, it

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is heartbreaking, but I'm nominated for two awards. It is exciting.

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great company? Yes, it is astonishing to be there, I'm

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happying to in the gang. If you win who, is accepting the award for you

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I think I'm doing a gig with Graham Norton, he is nominated too, they

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have a camera crew ready just in case, it could be that I'm eating

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in the dressing room and suddenly the camera crew burst in while I

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have my nightie on! I'll make sure I have my clothes on. Good luck

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with that. Now, you have a job to do, making the present? Come on,

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Sarah, you are slacking! I thought it was just for the show, but it is

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not! Now, landscape painting and it is sad news for art lovers as one

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of JMW Turner's classic, Campo Vaccino is leaving Britain, heading

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for Los Angeles. We are looking at why JMW Turner is a master of

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colour and why his work is still in demand today. Today we live in a

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world bursting with colour and vibrant images. We take it for

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granted, but 200 years ago, one artist's passion for colour, made

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him a pine year. JMW Turner was born in this street in London's

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Covent Garden in 1775. The son of a humble barber and wig maker, he

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began painting at the age of 126789 but of all of his works he regarded

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this one as his darling. The Fighting Temeraire. It is

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yellowish! I like the sun. You like the yellow? Yes it is my favourite

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colour! JMW Turner is turning them on! I like the sun. I love the red.

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In JMW Turner's time, there was a time of huge industry and

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technology. Colours were being created and JMW Turner embrassed

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them. A doctor studied JMW Turner's techniques. So, new colours were

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coming in? Yes, over 1,000 years, the pigments available to the

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painter had not changed. Then suddenly in the 19th century we get

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these new colours. All of the new colours excited Turner? He is

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passionate about colour, light. So when a bright yellow came on the

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market or a blue, it is dynamite. Turner's use of vibrant new colours

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like Scarlett, yellow and cobaltblue made his works seem like

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anything than was seen before. I have come to the The National

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Gallery to see the real The Fighting Temeraire which Turner

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left to the nation. Here it is, the picture itself? Yes, here we have

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The Fighting Temeraire. Her glory days were back in 1805 where she

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fought alongside Nelson's Victory in the battle for Trafalgar. This

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is her final journey. So this is her being tugged up the Thames

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because she is going to be broken up and used for her parts it is

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quite a sad part of the story. I think it is reflected, really, in

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the sun set. It is like the end of her life, isn't it? Turner

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completed the painting in 1839 when he was 64 years old, it sums up

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everything he achieved in his lifetime. Tell me about the

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painting? Yellow was his colour. There were lots of trade mark

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colours invented but he had more yellows than anything else in his

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paint box. But some critics labelled his use of yellow, saying

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that he had jaundice on the retina, did he mind? No, more people

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spourted Turner in his life than criticised him. Turner was an

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unconventional character, he never married, but kept at least two

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mistresses. He walked like a Saylor, dressed like a farmer, he was moody,

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difficult, and he drank up to eight pints of milk and rum every day. I

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like the sound of him! But can we reproduce some of Turner's

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greatness? Back at the artist's studio, suing using the same paints

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and techniques that he would have used then? You have done a

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background? Yes it is in keeping with the way that Turner worked. So

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we take a big brush. I like that. Can I have a go? Absolutely. If we

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run out I can add more white. Turner business is a doddle! I will

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put light into it now to give it variety. So let's put a ll

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inbetween there under the bridge. A little bit of light. Were the

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colours built to last? In time what they thought was a lasting colour

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did not turn out to be so lasting. Chrome yellow does darken with age.

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We save this for the blues. This is the higher the sky, the deeper the

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blue. You are a poet as well as a painter. Aren't we clever? Exactly.

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For Turner it was the layers of the paint that went into it to build up

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the atmosphere, that was the magic that added to the quality of light

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within his work. It is magic. I will get the paints out at home.

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Speaking of crafts, Sarah is making our present in craft concerner. How

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are you getting on? I'm doing sprinkles. I have written promises,

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I promise to eat more biscuits and even more biscuits. Time now for

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arts and crafts from a long time ago, in fact from the last Ice Age.

:23:44.:23:52.

Now, when mysterious etchings were discovered in a damp cave last year,

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no-one realised quite how important they were. Gower Peninsula in South

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Wales is considered one of the best views in Britain. 14,000 years ago,

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at the peak of the Ice Age, this whole environment would have looked

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very different. A hostile landscape, covered with a layer of snow and

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ice. Our native animals were also very different then. Woolly

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mammoths, wolves and biason. There is also one other animal that

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thrived in the period, the reindeer... We know this from

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archaeological finds, but last year's discovery of a carving

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bereaved to abrain door, -- believered to be a reindeer brought

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into question another thought. Doctor Nash, dos covered this

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carving in a cave not far from the Three Cliffs Bay. He is taking me

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to a secret location, deep in the heart of ancient wood lank. They

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really did choose an inaccessible part of the cave? They did.

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carving is under a recess. It explains why it has been kept

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intact for so long. I see it. incredible. It is exciting to see

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this carving which few people have laid eyes on in thousands of years.

:25:19.:25:24.

There are lots of other lines and things there? There are two more

:25:24.:25:30.

things I have never seen before. this is so far undiscovered? Yes.

:25:31.:25:36.

We are finding Stone Age rock art as we are filming it! So why did

:25:36.:25:40.

our ancestors carve the images at the back of the cave where they are

:25:40.:25:45.

almost impossible to see? We have settlements going on at the

:25:45.:25:49.

entrance of the cave, but at the spwak the sacred areas where the

:25:49.:25:54.

artists are painting things to rever them. Maybe in this case the

:25:54.:25:59.

reindeer. So this is a religious space? Very much so, a religious

:25:59.:26:03.

sacred space. So, thousands of years ago, before the reindeer

:26:03.:26:07.

became a symbol of Christmas, it may have had a sacred connection

:26:07.:26:13.

with our ancestors. George has made detailed tracings of the carving

:26:13.:26:18.

that I want to look at. The head and the lines that go right across

:26:19.:26:22.

backwards, clearly tells me we are dealing with a reindeer. How old do

:26:22.:26:30.

we think that is? Yes employed a scientific dating team to take

:26:31.:26:36.

particles we had a date of 12,500 years ago. Tkh puts it right in the

:26:36.:26:43.

middle of the last Ice Age. The theory was that at the time the

:26:43.:26:47.

humans were forced to cross the land bridge, later to become the

:26:47.:26:51.

English Channel and move south to Europe. So what was it that brought

:26:51.:26:56.

them back to Britain, to brave such unforgiving conditions? They are

:26:56.:27:01.

following the herding animals, the biason, the horse and reindeer. If

:27:01.:27:07.

they come to the north, the human groups come here. So, this fragile

:27:07.:27:11.

little carving has completely made us re-evaluate, really, when and

:27:12.:27:17.

where humans could exist in Britain? Exactly. There is a common

:27:17.:27:21.

miss conception that cave paintings are our ancestor's favourite food,

:27:21.:27:26.

but it gives insight into the far more subtle relationships that the

:27:26.:27:29.

ancestors had with their environment and their belief

:27:29.:27:35.

systems, all from thousands of years ago. Ti, Dan. Right, the

:27:35.:27:40.

moment of truth is here. Are you ready for a present, Matt? Is it

:27:40.:27:47.

time for the gift? Oh, look at that! APPLAUSE It is a hamper! You

:27:47.:27:51.

combined the two ideas, very clever! You can have a present, but

:27:51.:27:57.

it must have my face on it, that is the down fall. What are these?

:27:57.:28:04.

Declarations. Oh, Christmas baubles! Which did you do? I put

:28:04.:28:09.

sprinkles in there and promises in there and tied the ribbon. It is

:28:09.:28:15.

trick! And trimmed the ends! trimmed it into a V shape, she was

:28:15.:28:22.

impressed, weren't you, Gill? Can I have some entry form into the WI,

:28:22.:28:29.

now? You have been busy sending in your pictures. This one from Andrew

:28:29.:28:35.

Cawley, thank you by grandma. This is a choir boy candle, over 50

:28:35.:28:42.

years ago. This is from Tim in north Lincolnshire. This is a glass

:28:42.:28:48.

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