21/03/2012 The One Show

Hello and welcome to the One Show. We're not going to introduce each

other in the usual way for fear of repetition. And we will try not to

hesitate. And we definitely won't deviate. I thought you would wear

that address... By was a bit tight. I changed at the last minute.

of that tonight. We are joined by the stars of Radio Four's Just a

Where do you find your audience? They were banging at the door to

get into night. A rough lot! those who don't know how to play

the game, can you help us out? is a very simple idea and very,

very difficult to play. We have the wonderful players, two of them come,

I ask want to speak on the subject. They have to do that without

hesitation, repetition or deviation. We will try to give them an example.

The subject... Just A Minute. A talk on Just a Minute for 60

seconds. Just A Minute is a brilliant radio panel came that has

been running for 45 years and now at last it will be coming to

television, which will give us the chance to show just how beautiful

we are to the public. For hang on! Repetition. You said just. You are

allowed to repeat the subject. We will give you a bonus point.

else. This extraordinary game was invented by a man called Ian Evatt

or, almost a lifetime ago. In the early days, on the wireless, people

like Kenneth Williams, Peter Jones played this. He had something of a

stutter. My favourite, Sir Clement Freud, super but this

extraordinary... -- super cop at this. Deviation, he is speaking

French! There we are! Who won that round? Whoever was speaking when

the whistle goes wins an extra point. I think it was a draw for

top as Tony mentioned, it will be coming to television and we will

talk about that later. Drivers will not be honking their horns of if

they were hoping for some good news from today's Budget. George Osborne

has decided to go ahead with plans to raise fuel duty and increase

road tax in line with inflation, but it won't count for hauliers.

also mentioned charging motorists to travel on new roads. Anita Rani

There's nothing like a toll bridge to get motorists hot under the

collar. And here in the UK, there are at least 14 bridges that charge

due to drive across. On a clear day, you would be able to see both

Severn bridges which link England to Wales and they have recently put

their prices up. That means it costs �6 to drive from England into

Wales, making these bridges the most expensive in the UK. Without

the Severn Bridges, drivers would have to make the tour of 66 miles

to cross the river at Gloucester, but there's no doubt many motorists

are fed up of paying the tolls. Every time you come, it has gone up

again. It is time it was capped and kept stationary. Somebody has to

maintain it, but the charges are disproportionate. I thought when

the tolls were introduced the idea was to pay for the bridge itself.

It seems to me it has been paid for quite a few times already.

tolls are also in issue for businesses with charges of �12.10

for vans and �18.10 for trucks. Dave runs a company in Swansea that

sells compressed air systems. are running a fleet of vehicles,

six of which are using the Severn Bridge on a daily basis. The cost

to the business is �12,500 annually. Bolton a day that can affect our

competitiveness. Dave's views are shared by the Federation of Small

businesses fault of we're not against tolls, somebody has to pay

for big infrastructure projects like this, but it is important we

don't put people off doing business In Scotland and Northern Ireland,

motorists are not charged across bridges. And on the Humber Bridge

near Hull, they are cutting prices in half by the end of this month.

So why can't they lower the prices on the Severn crossing just like

they have done on the Humber Bridge? The Department for

Transport told us the tolls on the Severn crossings are controlled

under an agreement with the company that built the bridges and can't be

changed without their co-operation. For so with �400 million of

construction costs still to be paid off, the Severn tolls are unlikely

And it is not just one big bridges that you have to pay. I'm on my way

to meet a couple in Herefordshire who recently bought a cottage which

came complete with its own toll bridge across the River Wye. An Act

of Parliament means Graham and Penny were able to bring in a tax-

free income from their bridge. How much as it across? 80p for a car

and 20p for a motorbike and 10p for a bicycle. It is all day, people

can come as many times as they like for 80p. How many cars cross a day?

About 300 cars a day but that will also be people coming backwards and

forwards as well. Weekends are picking up. A getting busier now.

Has anyone ever tried to sneak across without paying? We have had

a couple of people who turn up with a sat nav sending them across the

bridge and they say they did not know it was here, they don't have

any money. Eventually most of them, when you have explained the tolls

is going towards the maintenance and insurance, we have not had any

body refused to pay yet. The bridge over the River Wye is more than 200

years old and a Grade 2 listed building. It needs a lot of looking

after so maybe in this case 80p is not such a bad deal after all.

That is definitely the way forward. Purchase a house with a toll

bridge! Tax free income as well. Amazing! I have fond memories of

the Humber Bridge. As a child my grandpa lived underneath it. His

house was very close. Is she a bag lady? And endless journey backwards

and forwards. Anyway... Let's talk about other roads across the

country that you are charged to go on. The Severn crossing and the

Humber Bridge in the film, but also the M6 told which charges �5.50 and

the Dartford crossing, which is �1.50 between 10am and 10pm. A lot

of other roads charges well. �1.50. None as expensive as the Severn

crossing. It costs me a bomb to go home! What did George Osborne say

about rates rests travelling on other roads? David Cameron has been

talking about the idea of private companies taking of the motorways

and large roads and George Osborne welcomed private investment. The

government are looking into the possibility of this happening. If

it does happen, they could not charge for roads that already exist,

they would pay for the upkeep, but if they build new roads, they could

charge tolls. It would mean better roads but we would pay for them.

general, how did drivers come off today? Fuel has gone up by just

over 3p. One pound 45 a litre for petrol now and one pound 50... 1st

August that goes up. Motorists will not be too happy. The AEA are not

too happy. They say it will encourage fewer cars on the roads,

but is that necessarily a bad thing? Cyclists would not think so.

A what are your thoughts on paying more for fuel? I don't mind. I

usually borrow Nicolas's penny- farthing! You keep falling off it!

I do. Running behind. It is wonderful to get people back on

their bikes. What annoys me is so many motorists get irritated when

Femme. You should admire them and appreciate them. Did you cycle hit

today? No, but I still respect them. More people should do it. Nicholas

and Tony, what does Gyles normally tell you about his time on the one

show? A bit he says he makes films about classical music, church

organs, Charles Dickens. All of that is true, but he will also

dabble in anything we ask him to. He's not fuzzy! Even knitted done -

- if it involves in getting into a fight. For the streets of Victorian

British cities were terrifying and violent place. Low-lifes and

vicious gangs roamed. They were looking for easy pickings. The

gentlemen and ladies of late Victorian London were increasingly

fearful for their lives. Whenever they left the safety of their homes

to take to the air in city streets. In the 1890s, one man countered

this life of fear with the gentleman the self-defence method

which became Britain's only native mojo art -- martial arts. Bartitsu

converted the accoutrements of a gentleman, a walking stick,

umbrella or overcoat, into weapons. It cast aside the Queensberry rules

in favour of Far Eastern fight moves. First, Paris attack. Counter

with... Discombobulated. Second assailant, distract. Confused,

attempt wild haymaker. Fell with For all in a day's work on the One

Show! In summary, physical recovery eight weeks, psychological recovery,

eight months. Bartitsu's inventor was a railway in Jenia, Victorian

gentleman and self defence enthusiast called Edwin right.

Emelyne Godfrey is an historian who is an expert on Victorian self-

defence and an avid follower of Bartitsu. What he did -- what is it

all about? Edward Wright went to Japan and learnt jujitsu. He came

to London in the 1890s and opened the Bartitsu Club. Bartitsu is

today what might be known as a mixed martial art. It was English

and exotic at the same time. For the connoisseur, for the gentlemen,

it was a brand name. How a man may defend himself against every form

of attack. It clearly has an English take. He is defending

himself here with his overcoat. The Bartitsu school of arms and culture

was opened in the East End in 1901. This is where it all began. Was it

popular? It was a sensation. Even the Prince of Wales requested a

private performance. Bartitsu tapped into Victorian notions of

physical fitness, gentlemanly conduct and British greatness.

was the first place to offer both Western and Eastern martial arts.

This is where martial arts and the Western world really started. In

that sense, it was 100 years ahead The club eventually closed. It is

now a hotel. The art of Bartitsu itself might have been lost a time

were it not for one rather famous devotees. Moriarty rushed at me and

threw his long arms around me. We were on the brink of the fall. I

have some knowledge, however, of Bartitsu. They slipped through his

grip and he come up with a horrible scream, could madly for a few

seconds and over he went. Arthur Conan Doyle may have spelt

incorrectly, but Bartitsu was clearly of great use to Sherlock

Holmes himself. Ran Braun is from the Bartitsu Society, a modern

worldwide club that aims to continue the experience --

experiments in next martial arts. He uses his skills to choreographed

fight scenes for films and theatres. He thinks he knows why Sherlock

Holmes was such a devotee. You can see Bartitsu as a chess game. You

have to outsmart your opponent, you have to thing five moves ahead. You

are puppeteer and your opponent is insignificant because you are

playing him along. Bartitsu is practised nowadays all over the

world. It mixes all the different martial skills and it has allows

you to improvise what your opponent is surprising you with an attack

Britain has many things to be proud of. Until today, I did not realise

martial arts was one of them. Still, it is good to know that if I never

confronted by a go rotter or S Cutler, I can fend them off with

the techniques used by Sherlock APPLAUSE AND CHEERING. Do not mess

with him. There's a couple of other dodgy looking Victorians in the

audience as well. Nicholas, you are a fan of a grapple. Yes, I did judo

when I was younger. I wanted to introduce my son to it who is very

keen, I still have the gear and everything. Do you tput on at all?

Yes, you have to wear that, because it's particularly strong and you

can grab people like that and do that. I rose to being a green belt.

APPLAUSE. That's amazing. After you finished grappling, you then went

on to host Just A Minute. At the beginning, 45 years ago, you

fancied being a panellist, didn't you? I was due to be a panellist.

Jimmy Edwards was going to be the chairman, he was never available on

a Sunday when they wanted to record the pilot. They record a pilot and

if they like it they commission a series. David, the producer then,

said listen I can never get Jimmy on a Sunday, you you be chairman

for the pilot. If we get the series you go on the panel. I did this,

but it wasn't a good pilot, they didn't want it. No way did they

want it. David fought for it and he got his way and said to me, we are

stuck with it now. The one thing they liked was your chairmanship.

That was it. There's been classic moments since. Let's have a look.

Welcome to Just A Minute. We walk... You are supposed to talk for 60

seconds without hesitation or repetition, not recite poetry.

15 seconds. Clement Freud, you challenged on what? I don't like

Derrick. 35 seconds on Julius Caesar. When the fatal employee --

blow was delivered he cried out they've got it in for me. Wonderful.

Tony, wonderful pictures we saw. Was it daunting taking over from

the likes of Kenneth Williams? was, I first went on in 1992 and it

was a programme I listened to that growing up, and I was invited to go

on and you are sitting there with your childhood heroes and it's

terrifying. They weren't that kind to newcomers. No, they all wanted

to win. They were absolutely - gave no quarter at all. Nobody said you

will be fine. They wanted to you fail horribly. The worst thing is

when it's radio it's just your voice and you become conscious

about what you are saying and it's intimate. It is but radio's

relaxing because obviously you don't - we have all been in make-up

for three and a half hours. Well, apart from Nicholas! You just crack

on with it. It's an incredible adrenalin rush, I first started in

the 1980s, with people like Kenneth, but never with Derek. You know why,

originally I suggested you should do it and they said we can't have

him, he sounds on radio like Derrick. You look distraught!

you were on and proved yourself... That's terrible, I had to wait - I

am so sorry. Now that you are there you are a part of the institution.

You are one of our regulars. One of the ones most loved. What's

interesting about the television version they recorded it as if it

were the radio. So if you watch next week on BBC2 you will be

seeing in a sense almost the radio recording but done for a television

audience. Let's look at that. My first day at school, starting

now. Always the first day at school seems to be a day of paranoia,

strange building, unusual faces, people you don't know and you

suddenly think I must pull myself together. I am the deputy

headmaster. You wander across the playground and you say to the

pupils in front of you, you are a beautiful boy, what are you doing

on that trolley, take that wheel and they do. I notice that all the

other pupils around me look up to me and they say you are the

backbone of this educational institution. You... Are repeating

yourself! He was brilliant. Gyles, what I wanted to know do you get

the subjects before you go on radio, on air to do the programme? No, the

people who device them know the sort of thing you might be able to

talk about. But no, and the joy of this is that it's a live

competition. A minute is a minute by anybody's standards. The clock

is ticking. You have got to work against the clock. It's not

necessarily good for one's heart but I have been taking aspirin.

Paul was doing very well there and he is brilliant at it, often it's

funnier when you see people failing horribly, which is usually my role.

That's the fun of it. You don't have to be good. You just have to

try. The wonderful thing is it's an entirely improvised game. That's

why some of the younger comedians are so good because they've grown

newspaper the world of improvised comedy and to keep going requires

discipline and thought and mind and to try and be clever and witty.

These two are wonderful at the game, so is Paul who you have just seen.

The beauty obviously is the language and for the 45th

anniversary you went to India. This is an interesting story. We haven't

got that much time, but give us an idea of why you went to India.

since it went out on the World Service it spawned what they called

clubs and it's so popular there, I have a whole fan club, we made a

film about doing Just A Minute in India and we recorded two versions

of the show in Mumbai, one went out on Monday and the next one next

Monday with Paul Merton and Marcus who who flew out and two Indian

stand-ups and they were sensational. Super job. The series starts for a

two-week run on BBC2 from next Monday at 6.00pm. You can catch all

the gang at the radio 4 slot on Monday. In just a minute Lucy will

be reenacting a scene from Samson and Deliah. A huge thank you to all

of those taking part in our One Show 1,000 and your kind donations

which will go towards transforming the lives of thousands of people at

home and abroad. There's still a lot of work to be done. Louise

Redknapp visited Uganda. When was the last time you had to

think about how to get clean water? For some people here it's a daily

struggle. And it can have devastating effects.

In remote locations all over Africa accessing safe water can be

impossible, simply because it's too far to travel. Here, in Uganda

water-borne disease is the main cause of death amongst children and

from seeing places where children have to get their water I can start

to understand why. This dirty pond is used by around

1,000 people. I can't believe it. The thought of having to give my

kids this water to drink is just... Unthinkable really. I never

understand how this is that community's only chance of drinking.

I just... A mum wouldn't do this unless they had no choice. And one

family that I met paid the highest price. This young mum lost herb

little girl -- lost her little girl yesterday from diarrhoea. If cow

have got her to -- if cow have got her to the hospital do you think

The fact that mums are losing their kids every single day from

preventable diseases like diarrhoea is shocking but with your money we

can try and stop tragedies like this happening.

I am a mum and the most important thing in my life are my boys, the

thought of one of them getting sick, I mean really sick, and I can't do

anything to help them, terrifies me. Mums here are no different. And

there's things your money can do to help them. A water filter and

enough purification tablets to last You can help by making a donation

to Sport Relief right now. Just text "mile" to 7005 and Sport

Relief will get �5. That will help to transform the lives of poor and

vulnerable people on your doorstep in the UK and throughout the

world's poorest countries. Texts cost �5 plus a standard

network message charge and the whole �5 goes to Sport Relief.

must be 16 or over and must ask the bill payer's permission.

The relay runners of The One Show 1,000 are snaking their way through

the country with the finishing line, not quite in sight, though

technically it will be in four days. It's not long. We have heard news

that Lucy has been spotted around the Leeds area with a flash of

lycra. The magic map will explain all.

Yes, we have reached nine miles outside Leeds. Our runners are over

halfway. They're slightly behind tonight. We are hoping they'll be

here at 7.30 when Julia will hand over to Dave Kelly. Are you all

right? Not bad, thank you. Dave is a One Show regular, we saw him on

Friday and he describes himself as a blind man with a vision. He is

passionate about getting disabled people into sport and that's

presumably why you are running this mile for Sport Relief? It certainly

is, Lucy. I thought well, because all the people are working so hard

at Sport Relief I thought I am going to come over to Leeds and do

my little mile as well. You are doing it, your little mile as you

call it, but it's your 50th birthday, you could be eating cake

and having a drink. Yeah. Thank you, Dave. Thank you so much. We will

set you off very soon. OK. thank you to all our other runners,

because this is what they have been up to over the last 24 hours.

Today our runners have travelled from Tyneside to Yorkshire in the

first full English leg of the One Show 1,000. And we have seen a wide

variety of participants. We have had the young. I have a bit of

morale support with me. Mum's behind me. But mum's also there to

make sure Jamie doesn't miss geography. Are you ready to go back

to school. Yeah! We have also had slightly older runners. I lost

eight stone over a couple of years. We have also reached the half

halfway mark with our 500th runner and it appears he is a superhero.

This is easy. Is this the end? Unfortunately, for he's only just

begun. Number 500 gets there in the end. Usain Bolt, you should be

worried. Thank you so all of our runners,

over halfway. That's brilliant. Now, we have something special for you

tonight. We have got Rugby League world champions, we have the Leeds

Rhinos, thank you very much for joining us tonight. The whole team

are either going to shave their heads or dye their hair red for

Sport Relief. We are going to start that, Kevin, team Captain, you are

going to shave Chris's head now. The catch is they have just a

minute. Are you feeling confident with the clippers? Not really.

dear, Chris Chris didn't want to hear that. Let's start them off,

go! Just a minute. Off they go. Shave that head. The Leeds Rhinos

are not the only champions in the house. We also have Harrogate

veterans football team. The first English team to bring a World Cup

for football back to this country since 1966. We have everyone here

tonight. Nicholas and Tony will know that tune, the theme tune of

Just A Minute, the waltz is playing and Charlotte and William, Chloe

and Jonathan are doing the minute waltz. Isn't that beautiful? Let's

go over here now and have a chat with Mark. Hello, good evening.

What are you doing for Sport Relief? I will be playing tennis

for 24 hours. Continuously? hours on Saturday and 12 hours on

the Sunday. Fantastic. Do you have a partner to play or are you

hitting a ball against a wall? lovely people at the tennis club

will be helping me. Now, mark, why did you want to do this? Well, it's

such a massive year for sport to be honest with you, Sport Relief is a

fantastic charity. Everyone can get involved in it. Thank you very much.

Is that minute up? It wasn't entirely successful. Thank you very

much for that. Tomorrow we are going to be in the Midlands. Tony

in the studio, are you ready to return this volley from Mark? See

you then. Stand by, it's over Leicester, Milton Keynes, stand by,

there it is! APPLAUSE. Gyles, you are more than

happy to run the mile? I am ready, I can't wait. It's the haircut I am

nervous about. I can't believe that. He will be straight into the

barbers. We have been inundated with people who love the show.

What's the biggest tip you have got? When you are stuck I go for

emotion. Like ashtrays or something, I am passionate. Top tip. The TV

version of Just A Minute starts next Monday. 6.00pm on BBC2.