24/01/2013 The One Show

. Hello and welcome to The One Show with Matt Baker. And Alex Jones.

The last time we met tonight's guest it was in a very muddy park

in Sheffield on one of the wettest summer days last year. It doesn't

look like the weather's improved much for him since. Here he is

filming the latest Jonathan Creek special. It's a very good job...

LAUGHTER He has a duffel coat and a sunny disposition! It's Alan

Davies! I look like I got caught short. Obviously, you were in the

middle of filming. It was horrendous. You didn't expect the

snow? We did not expect the snow and it's not continuity from the

previous scene where there's no snow at all. The actor, Mark Frost,

had to come in and say, looks like there might be snow. You go outside

and there is about six inches, it's a blizzard. It's complex for

filming, snow. It was a bit of an issue. Snow is a running theme

through your career, we noticed. Didn't you have to pretend you were

in a blizzard when you auditioned for drama school? Yes, that's what

I had to do. Can we see the technique you used. They said, find

a space, find a space. Like this. Find a space. You are walking in a

blizzard. So I was going like this. Then it a woman walked past me,

bent double, as if going through a hail of gunfire, that's what I

thought. I thought she's overcooking it, why is she doing it

like that? Then I saw that picture of me and I thought that's exactly

it! That's what you do in a blizzard. Did you get into drama

school? I thought I am going to go elsewhere. Brilliant. Speaking of

which, it looks likely to be a cold night for most of us. Temperatures

in some areas possibly dropping to a chilly minus ten degrees. Despite

all of that, can you believe this, Lucy and Iwan will be live at an

outdoor pool where one will have to take the coldest swim of their

lives. They're just testing the water. It's the blue dressing gown,

don't do anything for him! First, Sarah Mac has spent a whole shift

with the guys we rely on to keep our roads ice-free. They're often

criticised but the gritters' job is not an easy one. Here in Newcastle

they've had a particularly difficult week with large snowfalls

across the north-east causing hazardous driving conditions.

I have joined the gritting team during a rare moment of calm as

they wait for the conditions to worsen once again. Right, where is

Frank? You are the willing volunteers to take me out tonight.

Let's go. Grab your flask. Don't forget that. Boys, we are off. See

you later. The duty manager, Tony, has been

monitoring the conditions across the city using some of the latest

technology. Thermal cameras positioned on all the main roads

have shown the surface temperature plummeting. It's now our job to get

the grit down before any standing water turns to ice. Go on then,

which one is yours? This one, Sarah. Is she ready to? Yes. That's the

salt in all its glory. I am on this side? Unless you want to drive?

better not make me drive. How far do you cover in a night?

About 120 kilometres. The last few nights we have had to go over the

same pitch to get it clear. know the city like the back of your

hand? I know the bits I have to do! The grit works by lowering the

freezing point of water so that it won't turn into ice unless

temperatures fall below minus ten. How much grit would you use every

night? Last two nights with the snow and ice, maybe 30 tonnes, 35

tonnes per wagon. We have had 12 wagons out, gone through vast

amounts. You can spread maximum to? 12 metres, probably cover three

lanes. Do you feel a sense of pride doing

what you do? I do, yes. Last night was a nightmare because we kept

getting shower after shower and couldn't - we did the best we could.

Through the night, we are the only thing on the road, we can't clear

it ourselves but we plough it and we grit what's left and as soon as

the cars hit it in the morning it becomes like this. You can see it's

been nasty the last couple of days at the side of the road. I got

stuck last night. You got stuck? Don't tell anybody!

Do you get to witness some funny things? I have seen some scary

things. I was doing about 20mph and a taxi came shooting past and in

the distance coy see his red -- I could see his red lights and he

spun off into a field. Obviously when he was behind me he was safe

because it was the bit I ploughed and in the front he is on the snow

and ice then. Tonight if I can stop ice forming on the road, somebody

can get to work safely in the morning. I am quite happy.

thanks, Frank. Bye. Well, that is Newcastle gritted and a little

safer for another day. But with freezing weather forecast, Frank

and the rest of the team will have to start all over again tomorrow.

Thanks to the gritters of Newcastle and all across the UK, for that

matter. Indeed. When we are planning these shows it's amazing

the coincidences. Amazing! discovered that you are a keen

diver. We have a wonderful picture of you. Oh my God!

I don't suppose you have been diving around the UK recently, have

you? No. That's a good look! So much for showing that! I learned to

dive in the UK, though. I learned to dive in Stony Cove, a national

dive centre in Leicestershire. You go in and there's not a lot of fish,

it's a quarry. There is an own plane and bus and things to look at.

It was November and I didn't even - I had a wetsuit that didn't fit. I

could not - you have to reinflate your jacket manually as part of the

test and I couldn't close my lips around the pipe, they were blue. I

was lying on the bottom like this. Go up, go up! You passed! You will

have sympathy with Lucy and Iwan who are poolside with hardy and

quite possibly completely mad swimmers.

Yes, we are here at Tooting Bec Lido in south London. This holds

one million gallons of unheated water and yes, unheated! It's

freezing. Believe it or not, crazy people in this world choose to

brave these waters. This very weekend this pool will be the site

of the UK Cold Water Swimming Championships and a few of those

600 competitors are here tonight. They've joined us for a warm-up or

should that be cool-down? They may be full of cheer now, but this snow

was gathered right here earlier. We have not shipped this in, this is

Tooting's finest ice. It's freezing. I can see ice in the water. Let's

finds out exactly how cold it is. Oh! You are not going to like this.

Look at that, Lucy. One degree. Freezing! Terrific!

Yes, you know the bad news and when you are ready to go, one of you

will be swimming in that water very, very shortly. What's going to

happen, Alan is going to ask you some questions and whoever gets the

most questions wrong will have to basically freeze. In Alan's honour

we are calling this Q-Ice. Would you like to go ahead with the first

Which was the coldest city last OK, Iwan's gone for B. A is Moscow.

Well, the answer was A, Moscow, it was minus 50. Well done, Lucy.

not looking good, Iwan. We will rejoin you shortly for round two

and round three and the swim. UK has an incredible amount of

regional accents and the way people speak can change within a few miles.

Alistair McGowan was keen to tpoeupbd out -- to find out why.

I have always been fascinated by accents, listening to them and

identifying them and copying them. But now I want to know more. Why

does Matt Baker sound so different from Gyles Brandreth? Why does Mike

sound similar to Neil Morrissey? I am teaming up with accent expert

Patrick and we have picked a great city to start. Here we are at the

home of one of Britain's most identifiable and iconic and do-able

accents. Down by the Mersey this is where Liverpool English began.

Liverpool has been a port for centuries and the original dock

responsible for the development of the city and its accent can still

be found. Underground. This dock changed

Liverpool's history. It was this wall as we see it today which gave

rise to the way you speak today? Definitely. John Bishop owes a lot

to this particular wall. From the 1th -- 18th century they brought in

ships from all over the world, especially Ireland and these

dockers know their heritage is key to the accent today. My ancestors

came from Ireland. The vast majority of people in Liverpool

have some Irish connection with them. Someone like Dara oh Brian

doesn't sound familiar. We are heavy on the A. I remember being in

London speaking with a guy, he said what part of Ireland are you from?

I am said I am not, I am from Liverpool. He said, that's good

enough for me. The Irish accent may have dominated by scouse is a

complicated recipe. Scottish people living outside Scotland, people

coming from Wales and people coming from bits of Lancashire and

everything. What you had in Liverpool, especially I think the

19th century, is people from everywhere.

Scouse is incredibly distinctive. But the remarkable thing about

accents in Britain is that they all have borders and 16 miles down the

road in St Helens there's proof of this.

You think this is where the scouse accent ends? I would say so. My

sister lives probably about a mile away. She has gone a scouse accent

now. A mile away? Yeah. I am not hearing a trace of scouse now in

your accent. It's surprising how little similarity there is between

real scouse and real Lancs. People in St Helens don't have scouse

accents because their traditional industries drew on a local

workforce. What amazing me is that the north-west of England boasts

yet another instantly recognisable accent. Manchester was a giant of

the industrial revolution and it was the people who came to work in

the mills who created their own distinctive way of speaking.

What do you think of the specific sounds of a Manchester accent?

that stand out would be the final vowels and a word such as happy, it

sounds more like happy. Next time I shouldn't say The Happy Mondays

from Manchester? Something like that. Frank Gallagher on Shameless

and it falls into place, know what I mean? He sounds different from

Steven Gerrard, because the cotton mills in Manchester didn't attract

quite the same international flavour of economic migrants as the

docks in Liverpool. In Liverpool you have more people from different

areas because it was the docks and you have people coming from all

over to live in Manchester, from Ireland and Scotland but probably

just less than went to Liverpool. That's the secret, St Helens is

close to the traditional native accent of the north-west.

Manchester piled lots of accents on top but mainly other British

accents and Liverpool went all the way with a good helping of

international flair. Industry has shaped our accents. As this

fascinating corner of the world built itself it also built its own

unique sounds. Or is that saunds? Alistair McGowan is back next

Wednesday. Do you have a favourite accent?

have to say Welsh! Well, we know what the favourite worldwide accent

t is, it is Mexican. Here we go. Have you heard about the Mexican

kamikaze squadron? I care not for myself, only my country! Why did

the mushroom go to the puppy?! He was a fun guy! They said the pink

polenta, I love it! What is it about Mexican? I don't know it just

happened! I've never even been to Mexico! You have not been to Mexico

but you are going to Australia and New Zealand? Yes, when I do Life Is

Pain. Will that be it now for another 14

years? No, I have the bug again. I am doing Life Is Pain over there at

Hammersmith Apollo. Two nights of The Clue Of The Savant's Thumb.

There that will be fun. Are you getting friends and family for that

one? Yes, I'm doing Leicester Comedy Festival before, then two

nights there and then I'm going to do new show next year. I really

have the stand-up bug again. I had fallen out of love with it but I

had a really good time touring. Why? I don't know. I think in the

past I was doing too much at once and not enjoying it. Trying to do

too much. This time I did some shows, went home, saw the family,

then did a few shows. That was nice. Well, lots of people will be

excited also to hear that Jonathan Creek is back again? Yes, Jonathan

Creek is back, sleuthing, one fan! They will be ready for it! It has

been three years since the last special? Yes, we did a couple, that

was in 2008 and 2009. Brch that it was five years, but the director is

back. David is in good form. He's been

directing us this week. They told us you have hair

extensions for this one? They clip bits in.

Why? Because I turn up, I don't have the same hair as the last

series. David wants the same kind of hair that I had in 1996. They

used to bring lovely brown pieces if I didn't have enough. This time

they have this hair that looks like it's been dragged from a plug hole.

I thought, that must come from a dirty character living in a skip.

They started to clip it in my head. The worst thing it was a perfect

match! Now, the make-up lady, says if you are getting dry hair,

Moroccan oil! Yes! But there are other oils available! Mexican oil

is wonderful! Yes, there are other oils, Alan. The episode is called

The Clue Of The Savant's Thumb. You have brilliant faces in it. You

have mentioned Sheridan Smith but who else is in the show? Joanna

Lumley is in the show. She is class personified. She is so much fun to

be with. So funny. Stoical in the face of freezing to earthquake s.

Rik Mayall is back. He is playing a role he played in

1988. I love the fagt that you have hand

warmers on today! -- fact. I know! Maybe you can throw them to Lucy

and Iwan. They are at Tooting Bec Lido. They are with the cold water

swimmers. They are worried about which one of them will have to go

in the pool tonight. Now, before we go back to them,

explain, what are those people in the background doing? I don't know

why they enjoy it, I think that they are bonkers, but there are

lots of them here tonight. So let's ask them. Why are you doing this?

Why are you taking part in the UK Cold Water Swimming Championships

this weekend? You are nuts? Yes, let's ask Margi. Why do people do

this? It makes them feel fantastic when they get out.

OK. Tell me about the championships what events do you have?

freestyle, the relays and the en durance for the hardy swimmers.

How long can people stay in for? About 30 seconds.

Well, respect for 30 seconds. is 30 seconds too long if you ask

me. One man who has been in for longer than that, why are you doing

this? It makes you feel really great. It is a good kick after the

end of a long day it is brilliant Well, I think you are really great.

You are bonkers, a manman! Brilliant! Well, here we go, here

Never seen snow? I was going to go A but you have, so I'm being brave.

He has tied it, it was in fact, B! One each! Goodness me! We will have

to have an ice-breaker! In a while! Lucy looks worried! We'll be back

in a bit. Now, then, Jonathan Creek, as we

know is a TV detective, that uses stage magic, but being a TV

detector, requires electronics as Marty Jopson has found out.

If you are watching this, don't worry about the knock on the door.

It could be a deliverry man. Or is it? There is a TV set in number

five. It is in the front room. Watching Columbo! ADVERTISEMENT: If

you don't have a TV licence, it will not take that long to find you.

The TV detector licence, like science fiction, a man with a van.

Who can find anybody watching television without a licence and

then nab them! Ever since the 1920s, the BBC depended for its income on

the licence fee. Without one you can be fined �1,000 and even get

yourself a criminal record. This was the first TV detector. Driven

by a gentleman in tweed. They were called the Mechanical Sherlock

Holmes. Then came the alien vehicles in the 1960s, with a bird

cage, described as the latest in high-tech equipment.

A lot of people think that this van does not work. That it is a gimmick

to scare them into getting a licence, but I can assure you that

it does. Many people believed that the

detector vans detected anything, but I know a man who bought his own

van. Van enthusiast, Martin, got this for �150. He spent six years

restoring it. Martin, what on earth possessed

you?! I have family history with them. My dad would go out as a bus

officer. He would have a number of addresses to go to. They would pull

up outside, detect a television at that was working and then my father

would knock on the door and ask to see the licence. It could be risky.

Some people were nice and had licences. Sometimes you had to go

out with two people. Sometimes you had to avoid areas all together!

Now, while Martin may have rerestored this, the electronics

have been dealt with by a different man.

Hello, Jeff. Hi. We have a very sensitive

receiver here. There are two aerials on the roof. With a signal

there, you know we are looking at a television that is tuned to a

Channel. Could you really tell what room it

is in? Possibly. They photographed the first pattern to compare it to

a signal. Turn the knob until the graphics

line up with the peaks. Then you can determine what range the TV set

is from the van. That is amazing in a Heath Robinson

kind of way. A wonderful Pete of kit. I have placed a portable

television down the road. You challenge is to detect the

television. I accept that challenge! Exlent.

Let's do it. This experiment is not perfect. The van worked in the days

when we watched analogue television signals that have been turned off.

So the old television I have planted will not get a picture, but

it is switched on. It could prove that the vans could spot a

television that is working. There is a peak coming up now.

There it is! Yes! There it is! A blob. A big yellow box on that

driveway. That blob there is that signal over there.

If you switch that TV set off, that peak will disappear.

So, we may have shed light on how the old fashioned vans work but in

this modern digital age, the licensing people are coy about how

they operate. They say detecting a digital

television now takes as little as 20 seconds, but they would not tell

us how, or even talk about it. Do detectors work? Did they work?

Reality may be more money Dane. All it usually takes is a reminder call

or letter. Not as dramatic as having a van full of electronics

showing up outside the house. A lot more, shall which say,

straightforward?! What a project! All old cars are cool.

Now, on the table is the National Television Awards! Received for QI.

Congratulations for that. We are very very pleased. We have

been making the show for ten years, finally, the audience have noticed.

We are gratified. It is the audience's vote. So it is very

gratifying. You are looking fresh today? It was

late last night. I went home and turned into a pumpkin.

So, will Q-Ice get a television award the next time? It is tie-

breaking time. Lucy and Iwan are hanging on poolside. So, let's have

the final round of Q-Ice. Give it to us! What is the longest

train delay to have happened in the Four days?! It has been good to me

all night. I'm going B... OK, well the right answer is in fact, C.

Lucy, you got it right! Oh, Iwan, you are in the pool, my love!

on, Iwan. Come on, let's get this gown off!

Strip off! He is so brave! Oh, no! Katherine, you are a cold-water

swimmer and a GP, what is he feeling now? He is going to feel

cold now but even colder in a minute. His heart rate is going up.

He is going to be quickly breathing, but he will be fine.

He is a youngish, a fit man. Will he be OK? He is going to be fine,

but we have lifeguards here in case he needs them.

Should anyone else be doing this thing? Anyone with a medical

condition or who is pregnant should ask their doctors first.

Iwan is a very, very brave man. Stay in for a minute. He is OK.

What a brave guy he is. Back to you. It was interesting hearing the

other guy having a chat. So get him over to the side and ask him how it

feels. Let's have a chat with him. Get him over! Iwan, come over!

I get out? I love you One Show for making me do this! It is beautiful!

He is so cold. No! Brilliant. Well done, Iwan.

A hero! I thought Lucy would have jumped in.

I don't blame her. Well, listen, thank you very much for joining us.

That is all we have time for. Alan is on the Leicester Comedy Festival

on the 14th of February and the Hammersmith Apollo on the 16 and