28/10/2011 The One Show

Hello, thanks for tuning in to The One Show with Strictly's Alex Jones.

And Chris Evans! Don't take this the wrong way, we love the people

that introduce our show. But as our guest tonight was once a continuity

announcer, let's give it another go and see how he might have done it.

And now one BBC One, the always brilliant One Show, with ginger

genius Chris Evans, dancing Welsh wonder Alex Jans and possibly the

best comedian, actor and chat show host there has ever, ever been, Rob

Brydon! Our first guessed that introduced himself! Takes the

pressure off us. How long ago were you a continuity announcer?

Wales, late 80s. In those days, you operated it all yourself. It was

like Star Trek. You were doing all of the fading, the buttons.

Inadvertently, I once gave all of Wales the Bristol News. I pressed

the wrong button. They were expecting terrible news about sheep

and cows, and they got people talking like that, telling them,

it's all very nice, actually. did you get out of that? Of that

particular mishap? I slunk off. I felt I had done something terrible.

I walked out of BBC Cardiff like this. Seriously, I thought I had

done something awful. You also used to do shopping channels? Let's

bring it all up! I was a shopping channel presenter. We used to sell

everything. We sold jewellery, clothing, garden equipment. There

was someone on from a very famous Garden Company, demonstrating

planing on a garden wall. I said, tell us about it. He says, it's a

tremendous piece of equipment, they safety record is second to..., no!

Blood everywhere! This is from your new book, it is called Small Man In

A Book, but it is basically all of your jobs? A series of heroic

failures. We are continuing Matt Baker's rickshaw of talents and we

are giving Rob the chance to race against the clock. Dan Snow will be

joining as to tell us why the greatest movie directors and the

world need you to get in touch for an exciting new project. First, a

diary that has given us in President did new insights into

life in the real Dad's Army. -- unprecedented new insights will

stop a hitherto unseen piece of British history was uncovered in

Hythe. A member of the Home Guard, Rodney

Foster, risked court martial by keeping a diary of his experiences

in World War II. I was just out of bed, just after 6am, when a plane

went right over the roof and we herd two explosions to the West. To

the east, I saw a snub-nosed hunt flying over my head. Another was to

the north, then a third over Seabrook wrote. I saw the bomb come

out. It landed on Hythe cricket pitch. I was so interested, I

forgot to tell my family to go to safety! Such note keeping was

severely discouraged, as it was felt that if they fell into the

wrong hands they could give away secrets to the enemy. That is what

makes these eight leather-bound books so astonishing. What is

incredible about the diaries is that they might never have come to

light. I anti Daphne, Rodney's daughter, the house was cleared

when she died. We were not informed in time. The entire contents of the

house were lost. After a number of years, the diaries were bought at a

car-boot sale by a man. Not realising their worth, he sold them

to one historian. But fortunately, he noticed the value of the books.

They are very rare to come across on eBay. When they came, eight

comprehensive volumes. The style of writing, the newspaper clippings,

it is not your average Diary, by a long way. In the diaries, Rodney

gives an incredible first-hand account of the fragile emotions of

people as they were swept up in this terrible war. Sunday,

September 3rd, 1929. It says, war declared by England... And France.

At 11:15pm, Chamberlain broadcast... I know that you will play your part.

As soon as he had finished, the air-raid warning started. There was

panic amongst people in the street. I told the congregation that came

out that it was only sounded to say that war was declared. We learned

in the evening at Folkestone, having seen a single aeroplane out

at sea, thought it was a raid. Heaven help us if our nerds are to

be shattered by such false alarms. -- our nerves. Rodney's unit was

based in Saltwood. Their job was to defend this area in the event of a

German invasion, which they all thought was imminent. We are told

that Hitler is almost certain to attempt an invasion by air. What is

really interesting in the diaries is the direct access it gives us to

the hopes, the fears and the tensions that the official records

of the time had no interest in acknowledging. A young corporal was

showing two sergeant majors have to put a paw through into a rifle butt.

This training is a farce! In 1943, with the tide of war turning in

Britain's favour, he had his command reduced to three platoons

and he felt compelled to hand in his resignation. Something, which

it seems, he battled with. I think it would have been really upsetting

for him. He would have had a long time thinking about that decision.

You notice from the diary entries that he got another job straight

away, serving. That would have been his main priority, to serve.

will never know if Rodney Foster wanted to keep his writings private

or share them with a vast audience. What he has done is given as a new

insight into the everyday goings-on of the Home Guard. Written by a man

who served Wright Sir -- right Now, how close is the book to the

real Dad's Army? From the telly? The weird thing is, they start out

a bit amateurish. The couple of great entries, one night he puts

two guys to guard the waterworks. He goes round to check them and

they are fast asleep. Two weeks later, they do rifle practice. Half

of them do not turn up. He says, the old soldiers were too full of

beer to should properly. -- it properly. As the war went on, the

average age came down. It got a far more professional. That book is out

now? It has just come out and it is magical. There are many books out

for Christmas, that is just one of them! As we said earlier, you have

some really exciting news for viewers at home. Some big directors

want their help? They do, badly. How big? As big as they get! Ridley

Scott! Ridley Scott?! Kevin MacDonald, the Last King of

Scotland. What did they want? want us to film on one particular

day, 12th November 2011. It is from midnight on Saturday morning, all

the way through to midnight on that night. Anything we want. Then we

send in the clips to YouTube, we send them in to the BBC website. We

send all of this stuff in. It will then appear in a 90 minute

documentary. It will be an amazing snapshot of British life, from

Scotland, Northern Ireland, Kent, John o'Groats to Land's End.

weeks tomorrow. The Americans and other people around the world have

tried this before? It yes, it's incredible. The Americans made this

last year. It's amazing. It gives you an idea of the kind of stuff

people want to film. Underwater, that's a good idea. But ours will

be much better, it will be Britain! Incredible. It will be better

because it is British! Actually, the United Kingdom. For me, it will

be an incredible visual time capsule. People can look back and

say, what were those people about? We can show them. I had a little go.

Because it's not on 12th November, it doesn't really count? I would

say to the viewers, lower your expectations. And turn the camera

the right way! Did I get it wrong? It is Thursday in Sheffield. This

is my hotel room... Exciting, as you can see(!) I've been eating

some food, I've been on the internet. If you've never been to

Sheffield, this is what you are missing. Look at these beautiful

fountains. Aren't they good? There were kids down area, running

Not everybody will be as good at it as that. We did flip that, the

entire thing was upside down. directing ambitions might have been

misguided. Hang around, if you don't mind, we will need you later

on. Time for some comforting trips back into childhood. Jay is not

here, but he has left something wobbly to what! What is your

favourite thing to eat? Jelly. most of us, the sight of the wobbly

stuff triggers fond memories of childhood desserts. It comes in a

variety of colours and flavours. It has a taste and texture that

defined many childhoods. I remember hanging around in the kitchen while

my mother was making jelly, hoping she would give me a cube of the

uncooked stuff. I think it's to do with the strength and sweetness of

the flavour that has lodged it so firmly in our collective memories.

I used to love jelly with ice-cream, the flavoured ones, strawberry. It

brings back really happy memories. Strawberry was my favourite. The

texture, I used to love it. It's fun to eat it, especially green

jelly! The first packet jelly was produced in 1923. In 1932, the

familiar tubes were produced for the first time, making it more

convenient than ever before. It was boom time for jelly. But times

change and jelly fell out of fashion. In recent years there has

been a resurgence of interest in this unique food. Florence White is

head chef here, and she has put together a new take on this

nostalgic dish. She kindly showed me how she creates her modern jelly.

An important part of it is the sheet Chillerton, the equivalent of

the cubes that my mother used. It's made from animal bones and skin?

Exactly! Gelatin is a strange substance. It contains chains of

protein that break apart with boiling water and reconnect when

called, allowing it to be moulded and hold its shape. This is the

Blackberry liquid, poached with sloe gin and sugar. It's nice and

warm. Squeeze out the liquid, and the gelatin and it will dissolve.

It will simply dissolve in there? I'm making jelly! And here is one

that Florence prepared earlier. Oh, that really is... That memory of

childhood, the slipperiness and the burst of fruit. And then there is

the cake of the sloe gin! It is quite strong. I'd better check! But

that's not the only way in which jelly is evolving. There are a

couple of new boys on the block that are changing the way that we

think this dish should look. Here, they use state-of-the-art computer-

aided design to create startling looking jellies. Using things that

we were taught as architects, we discovered we could make our own

jelly moulds. The hardest one was to recreate a St Paul's Cathedral.

I just about managed to do it. From then on in, it was clear sailing.

This is where we really started doing it for a living. I challenged

them to make me a fancy jelly. It's time for the grand unveiling. OK.

I've kind of position that where I want it on the plate. I'm just

wetting it and shaking it. And that is...? Buckingham Palace, in

beautiful orange jelly. It may not look the same or taste the same as

when I was a child, but I'm delighted to see it making a

Perfect for Halloween, those jellysmiths have created some glow

in the dark chilly for us. Yes, St Paul's, things over there. That is

not St Paul's, because the tenants are not there. We have some

Prosecco. We have gin-and-tonic over there. We have got strawberry.

Very posh, very nice. Very nice. The kids would love these alcoholic

chillies. -- jelly. Very clever, all this. From childhood memories

to Children In Need. As you might know, for Children In Need, Matt

Baker is going to put away rickshaw from Edinburgh to London in just

eight days. It is tiring just thinking about it. One drop of this,

and we are any body's. Can I say, that is appalling! How can people

donate to the rickshaw challenge. - Brilliant. We will set you loose in

our rickshaw for the first fastest lap in a moment or two. Let's talk

about your autobiography, Small Man In A Book. As he said at the

beginning of the show, it is basically all of your jobs. Yes, it

is the struggling years when I won from local radio presenter,

shopping channel presenter. I was trying to get work as an actor but

the height of my acting in those days was at a conference for thrush

cream in Glasgow. Not the bird. I had to play a pharmacist, a doctor,

not a patient. I wanted to be Al Pacino. You would never see him

doing that. You might have done, we do not know how he started. But you

did better than that. You did thirst Knight with Sean Connery.

As sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, somewhere there is a man

that is better than me. It could be here, today. There is another bit

when I look like Griff Rhys Jones. How did you get that job. Someone

got me in to see the casting director, who would never have seen

me otherwise. She sat me down at a desk and looked through the list

and she said, what have we got for you? Marauder. Her assistant looked

at my CV and said, 5 ft 7. So the page was turned. But villager, that

part was first villager. My audition involved looking down the

lens, I will do it here. They sent it to the director. I had to go, No,

please, I beg you. Did you get to do that in the film? No. They gave

that to somebody else. We have read your book and we love this photos.

They forced you to put them into the book. We have some of these

photos. That is little you. This is a bit bigger. Standing on the

bonnet of a car. The that would have been my dad's. He sold cars,

and he used to bring a different car home every night. He said that

he sold them! You never know. Look at these. One of these, I think the

top left, maybe, Ken Yeu-Tzuoo Min? -- can use to me in? One of them

looks like he is enjoying a private moment and another one looks like

he has held up a post office. Springsteen Rob Brydon. I thought

it was more like Rambo. I call it Sylvester Springsteen calls that

they were my two big heroes. This one is so cool. I do not know why

there is in there. Seriously. They want photos. I thought, that is a

funny photo. Now I look at it and I think, but there is no reason. It

is not illustrating a story. It is just there. You have a lovely body

in that. Cliff Richard still looks like that before. You are hosting

Would I Lie To You, which is on tonight. Let's have a look at a

Who wants to go first? Both teams. How does it feel? That is my son,

by the wave. Hard to describe I am not doing anything! That was a

good laugh. One of the bits we love the most is when the mystery guest

comes on and the panel have to guess which one of the panel knows

the mystery guest. You never get to play it because you are hosting.

This is your lucky night. Would you like to play? Come on, come in here.

We are going to play it like you do. This is Tom. But which of us really

knows him? Tom over there, his job, he is a cleavage Chekhov on

Strictly Come Dancing, so he makes sure that no cleavage is showing

too much that it breaches broadcast standards. Even Anton? He loves

that the most. She is lying. This is Tom Hartley junior, who waded

not know until Wednesday but I met him at a car auction, and he outbid

me by �500. I have seen that you write tweets about car auction has,

so that is interesting. This is my friend, Tom, and I saved part of

his severed finger by throwing it in a fridge in the middle of the

Atlantic. That you get to ask a question. Alex, are you satisfied

with the attention he has been giving your cleavage? He is very

gentle and he has a mini tape measure to make it easy. I do not

like men with take measures. Chris, he beat you at the auction? I don't

believe anybody has ever out be due in the history of mankind. I had a

budget, and he beat me by �500. I have since offered him a profit but

it will not accept. Nonsense. Where do you know him from? Eyes sailed

across the Atlantic and a needed a winning hand. He cut his finger off

by mistake. There is an easy way to check if he dropped his finger off.

I have made my decision. Because he looks like the two of you were at

university together, I reckon it is you. I am his friend, forever

grateful that he salvaged my finger, but after 10 years it is probably

time for him to stop banging on about it.

That means you win more of the jelly that you do not like. We are

about to go outside for the rickshaw challenge. We have a

Helmut here for you. Before that, the final day of Garden Watch. Mike

and Miranda find three zebras and the hippo in a back garden in

It is the last day on Garden Watch and we have already seen a huge

variety of wildlife, but there are a few mysteries left unsolved.

Earlier in the week, Russell wanted help keeping squirrels off his bird

feeder. So we put chilli powder on the nuts in the hope that the

squirrel's more delicate palate could not hack the heat. How have

they got on? This is what the cameras caught. Here he is, coming

down. He is having a sniff and he does not like it. And he does not

go back. I think they are safe. no more chewing on the plastic.

the birds seemed happy, too. We also put a squirrel feeder in place,

so all they need to do is to learn to lift the lid. And there has been

plenty of interest. I am sure it will only be a couple of days

before they work it out. Earlier in the week, Mike found dragonflies

around this pond, but we know there is more life lurking in the depths.

Then, Joe, her Scylla and Roser have volunteered to look for

predators as menacing as those on the African savanna.

Look what I have got. There is a nasty predator. Do you know how it

eats? It has a mouth like this. Two Park's shoot out, grabbed their

prey and then they eat them while they're alive. If it was on the

African plains, it would be a lion pulling down a zebra. That is not a

top predator. It is actually a grazing herbivores. Imagine him in

the African savanna, that would be a wildebeest, or is a bra. -- as a

brush. These ones have a special mouth part that sticks into the

prey and sucks out the Jews. Scary. -- the juices.

This pond is full of prey, like this newt. If I was living in the

pond, it is one of the most savage places to live. It is brutal in

there. And I also think that is the best pond dip I have ever done. You

have got an amazing pond, full of predators.

Finally, up the street, one mystery left unsolved. This couple wanted

to know who was digging up their garden, and thanks to our camera,

we have a good idea who it is. It is bigger and furry and it has a

tale. But that is not conclusive. It is quite close to the camera.

bit too close. Fortunately, we caught him again. There is the

stripey face. They are using those powerful front claws to excavate

for grubs and things like that. That is what he is doing. And three

Gardenstown, we caught them in action. -- three gardens down. They

have a superb sense of smell which helped them -- helps them to find

worms and grubs. What a way to finish the week. We have seen loads

of great garden wildlife. It is time to say goodbye from Garden

Watch in Bathampton. Goodbye. has been a great week, thanks to

Mike and Miranda. As we said earlier, Matt is pedalling from

Edinburgh to London for Children In Need. He needs you to donate.

are going to challenge guests over the next two weeks to the Rickshaw

Speed Challenge, and Rob Brydon is going to pose the first time.

will be top of the leaderboard, but also bottom and middle. You have to

follow the bollards and get a jelly and Pickup Pudsey and get over the

line. Three, two, 1, go. In and out of the bollards. As far as Matt is

concerned, he is going from Edinburgh to London in eight days

and finishing on Children In Need at night. Rob Brydon has picked up

Pudsey. He has knocked over the bollards, but we do not mind. He

obviously keeps fit. There are more photos of his tight torso in the

book. He is over the line in 29.61 seconds. You are top of the

leaderboard. Congratulations. Let's see if our other guests can beat

that time. That is it for tonight. Good luck with the book, Small Man

In A Book. You are on tour. Liverpool tomorrow, Manchester in

the evening. Next week, Julian Fellowes, Ricky Gervais, Hugh

Fearnley-Whittingstall, Miranda Hart, and on Monday, a Halloween