The One Show on Ice - Best of 2012 The One Show

Hello, friends and welcome to The One Show On Ice, Best Of 2012.

It's like a normal One Show, only they said 30% slippier -

-we reckon at least 70% slippier.

-At least!

As well as all the slippery parts,

we've got the best bits from the year.

-Do you remember that time that we warmed up the crowds at the Queen's Diamond Jubilee?

-Yes.

# Happy birthday to ya

# Happy birthday to ya

# Happy birthday! #

And the One Show welcoming the Olympic flame to Cornwall

with the help of Becks and Boris.

And this happened.

Oh, my God!

This is the One Show On Ice Christmas 2012 and because

of that, is there anyone around who can make US look less rubbish?

CHEERING

So while they get ready, let's have a look at some of the more

challenging things that we've done this year.

We like to make ourselves useful on the One Show.

This is not quite what I had in mind.

Whether it's helping cavers in Cheddar to prove

that their cave is the biggest...

Thanks for bringing me here.

Or helping a team of Cornish men

and women take on the might of our Olympic rowers on the open sea.

We set ourselves the challenge of photographing the four corners

of the British Isles.

And even attempted to explain the appeal of 50 Shades

to a family audience!

Don't read it out aloud... Start there.

Oh!

Oh, right. Yes.

That's my book.

This quiet suburb in Luton is experiencing an unusual crime wave.

One resident is stealing people's stuff,

but this isn't any normal burglar.

-It's a cat burglar.

-He's been bringing unusual items home.

Items like a towel... Brought me a sandal and a week later,

he brought me the other sandal.

Two weeks ago, we rigged Dennis up with this GPS unit.

This sends us a signal that can be used to plot all of Dennis's

movements on a map. 'Leslie is joining me

'to track down some victims of Dennis's one-cat crime wave.'

-Nothing in there.

-'At the first few houses, we draw a blank.

'But then, success!' They're yours?

They're mine, yes - I've been looking for those.

You didn't notice they were missing?

No, they were outside the back door. I didn't notice they'd gone.

Case closed.

These are tickets for the giving tree.

This is a boy, aged 13, who needs a gift.

But it's not all about having fun.

You spent your own money to buy this, didn't you? Your pocket money.

-Yes.

-Why did you do that?

I felt that everyone should have a gift on Christmas.

We asked the people of Aberdeen to help us

find presents for children that wouldn't otherwise get them.

CHEERING

Amazing!

We helped the community of Shaftesbury plant 60,000 snowdrops.

What I'm asking myself is, how can I possibly help you?

If you can bring all the most dynamic organisations into the hospital,

that would be fantastic.

I've got a list of impossible tasks and a big map.

I feel like I'm in The Apprentice.

Oh, Birmingham Community Gospel Choir...in spectacular voice,

-as always.

-# Let it shine! #

Oh, it's the 206 Cub pack!

They're going to sing some campfire songs.

It could only be the Brummy Bhangra Band.

We matched up One Show viewers with time to spare with lonely

pensioners in Cardiff.

I was watching the One Show and I thought I'd come over

and see what it's all about and give something back.

Oh, so you actually just came on our appeal, this evening, to do this?

I did, yes.

And on other occasions, we just stood back

and watched as others rose to the challenge themselves.

It's nine o'clock on Saturday night.

The road needs to be opened by noon the next day.

It's time to start the clock.

KLAXON BLARES

As it's a single piece of concrete, if one side becomes heavier

than the other, it could tip over and collapse.

After three hours, the main span of the bridge has gone.

Huge lights illuminate the site as the workers push on through

the night.

With two hours left to go, they're now scraping up the rubble

and pushing it off to the side. They'll deal with that later.

They've finished with just under one hour to spare.

And most motorists will be oblivious to the work of the demolition team,

who have made an entire bridge disappear overnight.

Do you know, over 300 years ago, Oliver Cromwell used to live here

and his parliament, they tried to ban Christmas.

-That seems a bit much.

-Absolutely.

I know we're all a bit fed up of turkey sandwiches

and mince pies, but Christmas just wouldn't be the same without

the Christmas special Doctor Who.

And the scary snowman, unlike ours, who is anything but!

-He's just exciting!

-I don't know...

-Shall we get some more leftovers on the go?

-Highlights!

-Highlights.

-Everybody knows that the One Show starts at...

-ALL: Seven!

ROWDY CHEERING

Good evening, this is the One Show.

This is us in our script meeting this afternoon.

-The One Show's on.

-There you are.

You're mad, you're completely mad.

CHEERING

Welcome to the One Show with a very croaky Alex Jones.

It's happened in the last hour!

Whatever they tell me to do here, that's what we do.

It hasn't worked!

One Show!

Don't leave me hanging, thank you.

Congratulations!

-You had this made?

-Yes.

-This is amazing.

-Family!

My children are going to LOVE this!

You're the Welsh version of me!

No, I'm the Welsh version of you!

-Furthermore, I'm actually wearing my pyjamas today.

-Yes!

-Cumberfact or Cumberfiction?

-I mean, Cumberfiction!

-..Competitive market...

-Yay!

Dance for it, baby.

DRUMMING

-Bacon.

-I could do with a few days in the River Cottage. Oh, your phone!

"We're just watching Hugh on the One Show, it's great!"

Paul hypnotised you and in three, two, one, this is the story...

Eyes open, wide awake. Aren't you a famous television presenter, a gardener?

-Well, I am a gardener, yes.

-Do you have any other jobs at all?

-Yes.

-What else do you do?

-I clean the windows.

-I bet you seen a few rum things...

-Terrible, dirty windows.

You'd only get that on the One Show!

Coffee and bananas in Cornwall, that's madness!

MUSIC: "House Of Fun" by Madness

..has a pair of pants in a drawer...

No!

-My Billy balloon!

-Smack me, go on. Ooh!

-Oi!

-Get out of our chairs.

Alex, I've been watching the One Show for five years, is it?

And you are much sexier than Adrian Chiles.

It just bit me again!

Do I get a prize? Stand back.

Oh, it's hard!

-You can be the attractive movie star...

-OK.

And you can be the needy ex-waitress girlfriend, if you want.

Thanks(!)

-Oop!

-Oh, my God!

You can break a coconut with it,

there you go! Give that a crack.

Oh!

I wonder if this is not too exciting for the viewer...?

That's the thing - we get right to the heart of it, Terry. Straight in there.

Only on the One Show!

"Only on the One Show?" Thanks, Sir Terry.

-We'll take that as a compliment.

-It's not what he meant, though.

Of course not. By the way, did you ever find out what that vulture was really eating?

We did, but we can't talk about it.

Anyway, here's some more wildlife moments to get your beaks into.

Our One Show wildlife spotters will go to any lengths to find

the best of the nation's wildlife.

From dolphins off the coast of Scotland...

to wolves on the Welsh border.

Here are some of our favourite creature features of the year.

Deep inside the hard core of this headland, the sea has

forced its way through a fracture in the rock and carved a secret cavern.

I've always wanted to dive this cave. Oh, my word.

That is something truly beautiful. Beadlet anemones.

I don't think I've ever seen as many anemones.

Beadlet anemones aren't very neighbourly

and fights between unrelated animals are common.

For ammunition, they release toxins from this beautiful

necklace of delicate, but deadly beads.

I can't take my eyes off the screen,

it's just priceless footage, isn't it?

Watching these birds is so captivating, it's easy to

forget the important job in hand - to get those chicks ringed.

So as soon as they're alone, it's action stations.

With no way of telling when the parents will return,

we have to be quick.

You're not pulling very hard!

Oh, it's a gorgeous honey buzzard chick,

look at that!

First, a general health check.

-Wing length is 170.

-170.

Then the all-important ringing.

Job done. It's back up to the nest.

And if all goes well, within just a few weeks, these chicks will be

undertaking their extraordinary non-stop flight to Africa.

And just when I thought things couldn't get any better...

Not just one, but three pine martens.

These opportunists are taking advantage of the free food on offer.

But in the forest beyond Lorna's house,

they're feeding on small mammals, insects, nuts and berries.

For Lorna, these pine martens hold a much deeper connection.

It's about how I feel about them.

And how they give me pleasure,

because I left my grandchildren behind.

Yeah.

They've replaced them.

-It's a great feeling.

-It's very emotional to me, to see them.

Ah, the beautiful pine martens.

Show me a man who doesn't like one of those

and I'll show you a man who doesn't like life.

Now, from the boot room here at the ice rink at Hampton Court Palace,

to the best bits of the One Show out on the road for 2012.

What can I do for you, sunshine?

I think that's allowed.

People of Sheffield...

Cardiff!

From Bath!

Tonight, we welcome the flame that may well start the biggest party

Britain has ever seen - the London 2012 Olympic flame!

We're in these gorgeous surroundings by royal invitation to help

launch a very special concert to mark the Queen's Diamond Jubilee.

Yes, and tonight's guest

is fit for royalty, as he's been given

the honour of choosing the artists who are going to perform -

and as you can hear, he's tinkling the ivories

in the music room as we speak.

It is of course Gary Barlow!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

# We're in love... #

Beautiful!

Gary, thanks for joining us in these rather posher surroundings to usual.

It's worth remembering, this palace where they now live,

they didn't want to live here.

1952, when the Queen became Queen, they were living down the Mall

in Clarence House and they wanted to stay there. It was a family home.

But Winston Churchill, Prime Minister at the time said "no",

this is the headquarters of the Royal family - you will move here.

Like other events around Britain this summer,

we suffered from the rain.

But regardless, thousands of you turned out for the first One Show Roadshow.

Sheffield has one of the biggest professional arts scenes in the country.

Our favourite bit has been the buzz and the rain!

CHOIR SINGS

# We're all going on a summer holiday

# No more worries for a

# Week or two. #

Lovely to see you!

The first time I ever met the Queen, I was in the line-up,

she said, "Where are you playing tomorrow night?"

I said, "We're playing at Slough, ma'am".

She said, "Oh, that's just near us".

My two youngest boys wanted to come and be here today - Kailand

-and Mandla, but they have school today, so I said no...

-"Come on, Dad."

"You're so mean, Daddy!"

From Royal Naval Air Station Culdrose on the Lizard Peninsula

in Cornwall, hello and welcome to a very special Friday One Show.

CHEERING

Yes, we've touched down!

-This is it...

-It's outside!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Now we're joined by three extraordinary sportsmen.

APPLAUSE

One of the greatest football players in the world...

One of the greatest middle-distance runners in the world...

And Boris Johnson.

LAUGHTER

-What? What?!

-I was bracing myself for that!

What was the atmosphere like on that plane, who sat next to who?

-Who bagged the seats?

-Of course, Her Royal Highness was up front...

-The flame was in 1B.

-Really?

-All four of them.

-I was in seat 2B.

-All four flames.

-I figured it was either that or not 2B.

-ACTION!

-Sorry, yes... It's getting quite nippy out here now, isn't it?

I don't suppose anybody has brought anything to warm us up?

-I brought my hottie.

-But it's just a hot water bottle.

-Or is it?

-Glasses out!

-Ooh!

Here we go... Lift the end.

There we are.

Here, you have that one.

-You pour that out.

-Good.

-Super.

We can raise the core temperature a little bit more.

-Shall we put some of the heart-warming moments of the year in?

-Yeah.

-Cheers.

Pat, Patsy, Eileen, Sam and Pam - the baby of the bunch -

were aged between just four and eight

when they were taken into the care of a Barnardos home.

Their own families were unable to look after them.

The five girls are now women in their 60s

and they're spread all over the world.

They haven't seen each other since the day they left this house,

50 years ago, and in just a few minutes,

we'll be reuniting this unique set of friends.

Oh, my gosh!

Oh, it's amazing.

Yay!

Gosh, Patsy!

This is wonderful.

Much has changed in the 50 years since the women lived here.

The house has become a private home,

but remarkably, in their old bedroom, at the back

of the wardrobe, a poignant reminder of their time here remains.

-Pat, Patsy, Pam...

-Wow!

It's like we could move back in this house and I could sleep here

and Patsy could sleep there! It would be all the same.

-No, you'd still be baby Pam.

-Family!

-Because we WERE family.

This is Jackie Barrow.

She lives in the village of Diggle near Oldham.

She also happens to be a teacher with a difference.

Four years ago,

Jackie was one of the first people to join a project that matches

-volunteers willing to teach with children who are hungry to learn.

-Hi!

-Hello!

-Hi, boys!

Do you get to learn much about the boys,

about where they live or what schools they go to or anything?

I know that they live in a slum not far from where the centre is.

The kids are about to get the surprise of their life as their next

session with Jackie will be in person, in India.

After a ten-hour flight,

Jackie has finally landed in India for the first time.

She's on her way to the city of Pune,

a four-hour train journey to the East of Mumbai.

It's very hard to imagine outside the little room

that I see that they Skype me from.

We're going to meet face-to-face, which is really strange.

I don't quite know what they're going to make of it

and I'm feeling very nervous!

(I feel sick, I'm so scared!)

CHEERING

Thank you. You'd make a very good teacher, Mangesh!

Let's swim over there. Let's swim!

That was really fantastic.

It'll make a huge difference when I speak to them

next time on Skype, that I've actually met them.

I'll feel much more able to interpret how much they're understanding

and how they're reacting to something.

This is the Beryl and Betty show on your radio.

-I'm David Reeves, hello, Betty.

-Hello, David.

-Hello, Beryl.

-Hello, David.

-# I like to Buble

-I like to Buble

-# But do you like to Buble?

-I like to Buble!

# We like the Buble on a Saturday night!

# BOTH: On a Saturday night! #

I thought I'd take you for a bit of pampering

all ready for your big night out.

We're going out now, so just get on with the show, we'll be back.

How long ago since you had your nails painted?

-I've never had 'em painted, Beryl.

-Never?

-No.

# I'm every woman It's all in me... #

-Could you get used to this life?

-I sure could.

-How does it feel to be on the red carpet?

-Exciting.

-I think I'm dreaming all this.

-What lovely soft hands you've got.

-I know. Hey, I've got healing hands, me.

-Is that right? Give it a try.

Guests of honour,

the huge guests of honour this evening are two ladies,

OK, Betty and Beryl.

And the winners, if I was 80 years younger, Beryl and Betty!

Come on!

I'm Betty, and thank you to everybody.

And good luck to you all tonight.

So great to see Beryl and Betty get the recognition they deserve.

Absolutely, those two ladies are legends in my business - hats off, girls.

To be fair, Chris, the award they won didn't involve

-having to ask the hard-hitting questions that we have to ask.

-True.

Didn't you set your shed on fire one bonfire night?

That came from nowhere!

Are you one of those people who likes a good natter on public transport?

-No.

-No?

Do you miss the romance of the cross-Channel hovercraft?

I do, very often, I look over from the White Cliffs of Dover,

often thinking if only there was a hovercraft,

the scene would be complete.

Anyway, Harry - here's the thing -

our insect investigator, George McGavin, he likes butterflies...

And he also likes moths, but which is better?

Well, there's only one way to find out - fight!

It's Kylie!

David Walliams.

It's Sir Michael Parkinson!

Sir Bruce Forsyth!

This is going to be a riot, isn't it?!

Tell me more!

Keith Richards, everyone!

Call me Engel, call me Bert, call me Humpy... Call me Dincky.

Welcome, One Direction!

CHEERING

I was back up in Liverpool and living on Scotty Road

and Brian Epstein said, "You know, your record's really selling well,

"I think it could go to number one."

He said, "I'll call you on the Monday, to let you know."

And I said, "Well, you can't call me cos we're not on the phone."

So I said, "I'll tell you what,

"I know the number of the kiosk outside of the post office.

"What time're you going to call me?"

He said, "Between 12 and one."

I was there at eight o'clock.

CHEERING

Put me back in the band!

Hug me...

LAUGHTER

I never know, you know, that showbiz kissy kissy...

-I'm always awkward with that.

-I never know which one to go to.

I went, "Thanks for coming", and I bit Leona's face.

-This is Leona Lewis?

-Leona Lewis and actually, the teeth went in...

-I went... "Oh!"

-And they're some teeth to go in, to be honest!

-She could have lost an eye!

I was on a train, going to Hitchin and I went to use the toilet

for what might be described as a serious purpose.

It was one of those button-locking doors,

the sort that should never have been allowed.

And while I was inside the loo in a seated position,

the door clicks and it starts to slide slowly open.

I walked past the two women who've seen all this from the other

side of the carriage and I hear one of them say to the other,

"Wasn't that Jeremy Paxman?"

Very embarrassing introduction, wasn't it?

What's your favourite theme?

One of my favourites is the Match Of The Day...

You know...

-Very nice.

-But you can play it in a variety of different ways.

It lends itself to the lounge version, you know...

It's a much more relaxed version. Let's try.

BAND KICKS IN

-Oh, yeah!

-You had some good news, didn't you? You had a birth.

-I did have a birth.

-We've got a picture of the baby...

Isn't he gorgeous? Aaah!

We don't know how she got pregnant, because we haven't got a ram.

I'll explain it later on!

If anyone tunes in now, will they think we're The Corrs?

Well, you can do the singing, darling!

-Brilliant, Frank - which one are you?

-I'm the bloke!

Oh, to be talented!

CHEERING

So who have you both enjoyed spending time with this year?

It's quite a difficult one, isn't it? I think... Ah!

-I'd have to say Kylie, probably.

-I'd say the Rolling Stones please, Matt.

Mind you, if it's good company we're after,

Team Rickshaw takes some beating, especially on a long journey.

They were great.

Hello, my name is Darren and this is my family.

My sister Laura, my brother Sid, my dad, my mam...

And not to mention, the four guide dogs.

Because of Darren's difficulty with his sight, I'm in front

with this high-vis jacket on so Darren can see me.

-Can you see me, yeah?

-Yeah! Big fluorescent Pudsey in front of me.

Yeah, that's me!

I had to stop halfway, because I went uphill, bit of altitude there...

But got back on me bike, battled through and I got there.

Hi, I'm Lauren.

This picture here is called Alone.

This is emotion that I was feeling

because I had no friends -

everybody kind of distanced themselves

after my accident.

From like, not having friends,

to people shouting my name!

Really, it does something to you.

-You don't have words to describe how much it means.

-Come on, Lauren!

She's just been good support,

telling me I can do it...

Yay!

When I used to go to school, I'd get picked on in school

and it made me feel self-conscious.

When you see a gang, it is intimidating

and you don't want to walk near them.

It sort of makes you want to stay

and be isolated and alone.

Jamila, good news - we're in England! Yes!

CHEERING

And there's somebody here to see you!

When I was born, I was

diagnosed with something called congenital nephrotic syndrome.

18 months old,

both my kidneys were removed.

Day before my fourth birthday, I had my kidney transplant.

My ambitions in life are to become a firefighter.

Having a donated organ doesn't make any difference to what you can

still do.

You saw Jack there, that must make you so proud.

Very, very proud, yes. He's an inspiration to me,

let alone me to him.

What a welcome!

There you go. There's your boy!

Since I was four, five, I became a young carer.

My brother is autistic and my mum suffered from a brain injury.

I also help my sister.

-This hill is absolutely massive.

-Come on, James! Yes!

HORN TOOTS

He's coming up the hill now...

This lad has just blown everybody away.

My name is Ciaran Fitzgerald.

Just because I have cerebral palsy,

doesn't mean I can't push myself

as hard as someone who's able-bodied.

CIARAN! CIARAN!

It just really spurs you on

if you complete what you're trying to achieve,

it's a really great feeling.

That was tremendous, wasn't it! All shouting your name.

Come on, Team Rickshaw! Let's get it over the line!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-We did it!

-We did it!

-We did it!

Well, what a team they are.

They raised well over £1.6 million and the cheques are still coming in.

-Thank you to everyone who's donated.

-Absolutely. Where's Chris, though?

He's over there. Have you seen him? He's really getting into this...

Oh, Chris! What a finish!

-Whoah!

-I'm just getting the hang of this!

The One Show is back on Monday 7 January, 2013.

I think it's only right that we leave the show this evening

-with my favourite TV moment, 2012.

-What's that?

You two guys dancing for the Queen at Buckingham Palace.

-Ah, do you mean it?

-Well, my mum liked it.

Happy New Year!

LILTING MUSIC TO FOXTROT TEMPO

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd