Episode 4 Belfast FM


Episode 4

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Belllfaaaasssst!

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DJ Steeky, here to make you dance like a small-bladdered pensioner.

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Shout out this week to Steveo.

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Like many burglars, Steveo always liked to take a crap on

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the carpet of the house he was robbing.

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Unfortunately, last week Steveo had diarrhoea

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and the police just followed the trail home, like, kind of,

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a scatological Hansel and Gretel.

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Here, a man who is smoking hot. The girls like him a lot.

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His knees sometimes get shot.

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You know him as Pablo. Respect, Pablo!

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Steek, Steek, Steek, Steek, STEEKY!

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On tonight's show we have, Big Brother winner, Brian Belo.

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-Pooper scooper.

-From The Apprentice, Ben Clarke.

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-Sandhurst nob.

-Music from the live boudoir from Silhouette.

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Our quiz brain dead, but before all that, some music.

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TRANCE MUSIC PLAYS

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All right, Bobbie.

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-Wonders never cease. You're early.

-Your girl's up on blocks?

-Charming.

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So what were you doing last weekend?

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Went out for the day, me and Chantelle.

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-To where?

-The Giant's Causeway.

-The Giant's Causeway?

-Aye.

-What's that like?

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-Shite.

-I would have thought you'd be more at home at, you know, the Giant's Ring?

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-Where's that?

-You never heard of the Giant's Ring?

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-No.

-I would have thought you would love the Giant's Ring.

-Why?

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You know what goes on there in the car park?

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-What?

-Dogging.

-Oh, I've done that.

-You've done dogging?

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Well, you know, I'm a very exotic man, right?

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Chantelle said our life needs spiced up.

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She suggested dogging. I said, "What's that?"

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She said, "You go up and you get at it".

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A little bit of bumping uglies in the car.

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-And people come up and have a wee look at you.

-Just like strangers?

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-Just like total strangers.

-Watching you at it?

-Totally. Right.

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-And, you put the window down.

-Right.

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That gives them a wee signal to pop the lad in.

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So you flash the wee lights and say, "Right, come on over, lads.

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-"There's a bit of action going down".

-The window went down, right?

-Right.

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-Me and Chantelle going at it.

-Right.

-The fella pops the ole lad in.

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-Right.

-Chantelle thrashing about a wee bit.

-Right.

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Off comes the bedroom slipper. Hits the electric window.

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-The fella might walk in three weeks.

-Oh, my God. You chopped off his walt?

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-Up for assault, mate.

-Nightmare.

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This week, I would like to apologise to all the fat people out there.

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The medical advice I gave out last week was wrong.

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It turns out that, crying while eating an entire tub of Haagen Dazs

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will not help with weight loss.

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-Here, what's that noise? That's the lift?

-Who is it, Pablo?

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It's our next guest, a Big Brother contestant.

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Some people think of him as an idiot off Big Brother,

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but we prefer to think of him as a Shankill Road intellectual.

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Please welcome, Big Brother supremo, Brian Belo.

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Hello.

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-Can I get a whoop, whoop?

-Can I get a whoop, whoop.

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Can I get a whoop, whoop? So, Brian, tell us this. How has the whole Big Brother thing changed your life?

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I'm sure it's opened a load of doors for you.

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The whole Big Brother thing changed my life.

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I suppose, Big Brother changed my life massively.

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I was able to get a flat. I was able to sleep with glamour girls.

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I was able to go out clubbing, to nice places.

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-Are you a bit of a Mr Lover Lover man?

-No, don't.

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Don't, cos' then girls can start thinking I'm a player.

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-I'm not a player. I'm not a player.

-Are you sure?

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-If anything, I get played.

-Really?

-Honestly, I get played so much more.

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I haven't had a girlfriend in, in about two-and-a-half years now.

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-So, what about the bird off Big Brother?

-That was the last.

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-That was my last girlfriend.

-No!

-Is it that long?

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I think that was probably my only girlfriend. I've had girls in between,

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but that was my only proper relationship.

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Brian, the next time you go off, it's going to be like a shotgun.

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-No, I've had sex!

-Oh, right.

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I don't mean I haven't had sex for two-and-a-half years.

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It's a family-type show.

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So, Brian, tell me, at the time that you were dating,

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was it Sam or Amanda?

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It was Amanda.

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And, I mean, that you, kind of, were very hush, hush about,

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but you tweeted when you filled your trousers on a train.

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-Was that a bad decision?

-Was that a bad decision?

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Do you know what, the thing is about me, I'm very honest.

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What happened, I know what happened there, I had only just really

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been on Twitter for a little bit, at that point.

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I didn't realise how many people use Twitter.

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And, so, when I said, "Oh, don't, I've poohed myself on a train".

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So I thought, "Wait a minute, I can't ring anyone up

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"and tell anyone this", because I ring people,

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people on my carriage are going to then be able to know that I've just shit myself.

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I would say it was becoming apparent.

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If I tweet about it, then I'd be able to get some advice,

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sort of thing.

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So, I tweeted about it.

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Then, by the time I got from my home, so from the train

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to my destination, it had become an article on Metro.co.uk.

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Then find out that, the next day I was, like, OK,

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everybody seems to know about the fact that I've just shit myself.

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What is the worst insult that anyone has thrown at you?

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That I appear to be like I was dropped on my head as a baby.

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-Didn't do me any harm.

-I know. Do you know what the funny thing was?

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I was sitting there with my old girl. She was talking to someone.

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She was like, "Do you remember when Brian was a baby and we dropped him on his head?"

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I was like, "You dropped me on my head?"

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She was like, "Yeah, there's nothing wrong with you."

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I was like, "Are you sure? I've got all the tabloids clippings calling me dopey and stupid."

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You know what I mean? I only found out I was dropped as a baby, that's probably why I'm quite stupid.

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-You went to school with the other Big Brother winner, Chantelle?

-Yeah.

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That must have been quite a school, quite special?

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It is a very special school.

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And, do you know, the winner of Britain's Next Top Model, 2007,

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also went to my school as well, Lauren McAvoy, because we was in the same class.

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-Wow.

-Can I ask you just, what sort of music you like?

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Cos I'm going to play a track now. What music?

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I love funkiness. I love funkiness.

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We're going to play you some hard house. It's time for a track.

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HARD HOUSE PLAYS

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-You want to learn some Belfastisms?

-Proper!

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We're going to come out in Belfast and have it up.

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Happy days. There's the three of us, right?

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-We're flying through the streets of Belfast.

-Yeah.

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There's a couple of girls at a bus stop.

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-Are they hotties?

-Oh, aye. Of course they are. Of course they are.

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Right, proper sorts, like. Wee short skirts and everything.

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-Lovin' it.

-We wind the window down, right? Wind the window down.

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You just go past them, dead, dead smooth.

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Really, really classy, sophisticated, right?

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"Get her bucked!"

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What?

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-Get her bucked.

-Get her bucked.

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-Give us a buck at ye?

-Give us a buck at ye?

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-Get her bucked.

-Get her bucked.

-You what?

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Get her bucked.

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Get her book?

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Or, alternatively, "Give us a buck at ye"?

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-Give us a book?

-Buck. Buck.

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-Book?

-Like... MAKES SQUEAKING SOUNDS

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Bock?

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THEY CONTINUE SQUEAKING

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-Boys, I've never heard of that one. Do you know what you need to do? You're going wrong.

-What?

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Boys, I'm not trying to teach granny how to suck eggs or nothing.

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But, at the end of the day, you need to learn how to sweet talk a bird.

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-Show her a bit of your personality, you know.

-OK.

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You can't go up to birds like some sort of chav, giving it like that.

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They're going to tell you to jog on!

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-You want to be like, wind down your window.

-Right.

-Go.

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-"Excuse me, sweetheart".

-Excuse me.

-"I want to know whereabouts X is".

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As she gets closer and she's about to give you advice go,

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"Oh, babe, do you know what? I really love your eyes.

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"I've never seen a lady with such great eyes as yours."

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At this point, can you introduce her to the crippla?

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-Depends how filthy she is.

-Or how unconscious she is?

-Yeah.

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Oh, you don't want to go for them unconscious though, son. I'll be honest.

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I usually find that they're quite pliable in that state.

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Yeah, they are, but there's the whole thing of Prisoner Cell Block H and everything.

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I mean, I honestly don't want to be going down that route.

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Do you think, if you were in prison, you might be,

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like, passed about like some kind of Christmas cracker?

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-Like a Christmas cracker?

-Aye?

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I would use you as currency in jail.

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I'd be all right, I'll just hire you out, to Mr Big.

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-So, you're going to pimp me, is what you're saying, yeah?

-Yeah.

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Thanks very much.

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I can tell, cos you boys like me, I think we've got a bond?

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Oh, yeah, mate. Listen, we're cool.

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I'm realising that Pablo's your main man.

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-If I get on Pablo's good side, I'm on the good side of everyone.

-That's right.

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-You're Pablo's little bitch, I can tell.

-You're my bitch.

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You are Pablo's bitch. You're a proper bitch.

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You're the bitch of the relationship.

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Trying to give it a bit of, like, "Yeah, this is how we do it"...

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-Steeky is my bitch.

-Pablo tells you what to do, mate.

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Steeky is my bitch. Steeky is my bitch. You are my bitch.

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Bitch.

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-Are you two quite finished?

-Bitch.

-Youse have hurt my feelings.

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-I'm not trying to hurt your feelings.

-You have.

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Why don't you go and get a nice manicure or something, or a wee pedicure, maybe?

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-Don't talk to me. Don't talk to me.

-Don't. Your make-up'll run.

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-Shut up!

-You're getting rinsed. Rinsed like a wet towel, rinsed.

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That's not fair. I thought you were my mate. I thought you were my mate.

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I'm your mate! It's just a bit of friendly banter.

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-We're not mates no more! Not mates no more!

-Steeky... This is banter.

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Brian, don't listen to him. It's his time of the month.

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All right, all right, all right. We're mates now, it's cool.

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-He fancies you as well.

-It's all cool.

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Brian, you were rightly hailed as the first ever black winner of Big Brother.

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That's true.

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Do you think your victory gave Barack Obama the courage to run for president?

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Honestly, I think it did.

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Even when he was going in for his presidency and everything,

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I was like...

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-Oh, shut up! Barack Obama!

-No-one had heard of Barack Obama.

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-Thank you very much.

-He was not on the scene at all.

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And he is supposed to be American.

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How many famous black Americans are the?

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Why couldn't Jay-Z or P Diddy be president?

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He hasn't even released a good album yet.

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-What have you heard that as any good that he's released?

-Diddy?

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-No, I am talking about Barack Obama.

-Because Diddy is brilliant.

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At the end of the day, Jay-Z has done a lot for America.

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He has.

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He's gone around. He's made love and not war with Beyonce.

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He's got Crazy In Love on the Futurettes.

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And he's not been given the respect he deserves

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by the government of the USA.

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You're right, Brian. It's time to go. I hope you're going to tweet about meeting two extremely

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radically cool and handsome guys in Belfast.

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-Don't worry. I am tweeting about you now. See you later.

-Cheers, Brian.

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Pablo, see the man out. Try and make sure he avoids the toilet. I don't trust him.

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-Nice to meet you, Brian. Sound.

-Nice to meet you, mates. See you later.

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When the doors open at the bottom, that's when you get out.

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Hope he leaves the lift the way he found it.

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Brian Belo, there.

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Rightly hailed - hailed - as the first black winner of Big Brother.

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Nice to know that Martin Luther King didn't die in vain.

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-Here, Steeks.

-What?

-You want to know what I found out last night?

-What?

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Did you know that there's stuff on the Internet that isn't porn?

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-Whaa! Aye, right?

-I am deadly serious, mate.

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-There was other stuff on the Internet that's not porn.

-What?

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Like it doesn't have tits in it?

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-It doesn't even have small tits in it.

-Man, that's amazing. So what's that stuff like?

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I don't know. I was too busy wanking.

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-Turn it to radio Ulster. Rigsy's on.

-Rigsy?

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-That's even worse than this crap. He's shite!

-Fair enough.

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-Right, what's next, Pablo?

-You have a caller on line one.

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Hello and who's the next caller who we may help?

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-'Hiya. My name is Kieran.'

-And how can we help you, Kieran?

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'I am feeling depressed.'

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Kieran, is that you from the Bally Flip Flops?

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'Yeah, it's me, mate. How are you doing?'

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I suppose you're feeling suicidal cos everyone knows that your girlfriend is buggering anything that moves.

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'What? Maryanne's cheating on me? Oh, Jesus, no.'

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No, no, whatever gave you that idea?

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'GUNSHOT'

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Brilliant work there, Steeks.

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-Steeky, do you think there's life after death?

-Aye.

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-What you think heaven is like?

-The rivers are WKD.

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The girls are so full of silicone they bounce.

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And all the dole clerks are trusting and naive.

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What do you think hell is like?

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Lurgan.

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-What's that noise? It's the lift.

-Oh, right. Who is it?

-It's today's band.

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It's one of the most promising female singers I think I have ever heard.

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-Is it Pixie Lott?

-No.

-Is it Duffy?

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No.

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-Gary Lightbody?

-Better than that. It's a band called Silhouette.

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-Hello.

-Hi. Hello.

-Hi, guys.

-What's the craic with this band?

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-The lead singer of this band... She's called Shauna.

-Right.

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-Hi!

-Hi, Shuana.

-Hi, Pablo.

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-Hang on a minute. I think you fancy her.

-No!

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-No!

-You do! You love her!

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-You love her! You want to marry her!

-Shut up.

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-Shut up.

-You want to marry her and have little Pablettes.

-Shut up.

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Tell us, Shauna, about your band. How long have you been together?

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About a year and a half, two years.

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-Do you have a website?

-Aye, we've got a website!

-Right.

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-Do you want me to give it to you?

-Yeah. Any time.

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It's myspace.com/silhouetteofficial.

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-Official, right.

-Do you know how to spell Silhouette?

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-We'll give it a go. Happy days.

-Go on in, then!

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-Let us hear what you're made of!

-Cheers! Bye!

-See ya!

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Shauna! Shauna! Bye-bye!

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You are so in there. She was undressing you with her eyes.

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-She had that trackie top off you.

-I get that a lot.

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Now, onto the mystery quiz, where a caller has two minutes to guess our mystery item.

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Once again, we're playing with returning champion, Jez.

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-Jez, are you ready?

-'Ready!'

-Your time starts now!

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-It's something to kick.

-'Is it the poor?'

-No.

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-Mind you, a lot of poor people worship this item.

-'Oh, Jeremy Kyle.'

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-No. It's leathery, and was at its height in the '70s.

-'Tom Jones?'

-No.

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'Is it a huge underground structure that scientists are using

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'to isolate the Higgs-Boson particle and replicate the Big Bang?'

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It isn't that Large Hadron Collider, no.

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'Has it appeared on the Internet with a banana, a donkey and one of the weathermen off Sky News?'

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No, it's not Steeky's ma.

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It's round, full of air, everyone would love to kick it, and people get very annoyed about it sometimes.

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'Oh, you haven't brought Stephen Nolan into the studio, have you?

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-'Oh, wait. Is it a football?'

-How do you do it?

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-Every flipping time.

-'Ha-ha!'

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-Look, there's the lift going! Who is it?

-I don't know.

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What you call the wee fella? Whats-his-face?

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Our next guest often hears people saying that he puts up a plucky front.

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Or at least that's what he thinks they're saying.

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From The Apprentice, please welcome Ben Clarke!

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I think you've a fire in the kitchen, there, lads.

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-Sit your wee self down there.

-How are you doing?

-I am exceptionally well.

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-What about you?

-Not too bad, thanks.

-You're looking well.

0:17:060:17:09

-I don't know. I think I'm getting a bit fat, to be honest.

-You are.

0:17:090:17:13

Can I ask you, that's a rather unusual surname, Clarke-From-The-Apprentice.

0:17:130:17:17

Is that Dutch-Irish?

0:17:170:17:19

The big forehead would suggest I am slightly Dutch.

0:17:190:17:22

So, Ben, how are you getting on at Sandhurst?

0:17:220:17:25

-Unfortunately, I didn't go. I should have gone, shouldn't I?

-He lost his bottle!

0:17:250:17:29

-He lost his bottle!

-Did you chicken it?

0:17:290:17:32

THEY CLUCK

0:17:320:17:36

Could you lend me and egg, Ben?

0:17:360:17:38

Are you maybe waiting until David Cameron pulls the troops out of Afghanistan

0:17:380:17:42

so you don't go and get your balls shot off?

0:17:420:17:44

I could get posted in Northern Ireland, couldn't I?

0:17:440:17:47

There'd be plenty of people who would like to shoot the balls out of you there.

0:17:470:17:51

-Let's face it.

-That's what I was thinking!

-Absolutely.

0:17:510:17:56

Ben, you were on that Dating In The Dark show, yeah?

0:17:560:17:58

That was an absolute 'mare. An absolute disaster. That's right.

0:17:580:18:03

You were blown out by a girl with massive big jugs.

0:18:030:18:05

-I know, they were class.

-Why do you think that happened? Did the lights go on?

0:18:050:18:09

I think she kind of realised that all I wanted to do was motorboat her and from there...

0:18:090:18:14

-Sorry, what?

-Do what?

-Motorboat her.

-Moat her boat her? What?

0:18:140:18:18

This is what you do. You stick your head between his tits, and you go...

0:18:180:18:22

Like that.

0:18:220:18:24

-Oh, motorboat. Right!

-You said "moat her boat her".

0:18:240:18:28

-You're posh, we can't understand you.

-Sorry about that.

0:18:280:18:32

-I love the way he talks.

-Say "How now, brown cow?"

0:18:320:18:36

"How now, brown cow?"

0:18:360:18:38

EXAGGERATED MIMIC: "How now, brown cow?" "How now, brown cow!"

0:18:380:18:41

"It's how now, brown cow?" say it.

0:18:410:18:46

How now, brown cow?

0:18:460:18:49

-That's better!

-By George, I think he's got it!

0:18:490:18:53

-Now you're talking proper!

-Good man!

-OK.

-Good man.

0:18:530:18:57

Listen, we want to ask you a question,

0:18:570:18:59

because of your incredible business acumen.

0:18:590:19:02

-OK.

-Me and Pablo here, we've a... How would you describe it?

0:19:020:19:07

..a lucrative flour distribution business.

0:19:070:19:10

Have you any advice on how we could expand our business

0:19:100:19:13

into further markets and territories without increasing

0:19:130:19:16

the chances of the PSNI beating in our back door?

0:19:160:19:19

Pay them off!

0:19:190:19:21

-Ahhhh!

-The boy's got the smarts!

0:19:210:19:25

-Would you be our business manager?

-Would you like to come on board?

-And sell flour for you?

0:19:250:19:30

They won't be able to search you, cos you look under age.

0:19:300:19:33

You've got to think about it.

0:19:330:19:35

-Running a flour business is like running any other business.

-Right.

0:19:350:19:39

In terms of economics, if you take the world's big flour producers,

0:19:390:19:43

based in South America, the way their operations are run,

0:19:430:19:46

very, very similar to the way other major Fortune 500 company is run.

0:19:460:19:51

-Is that right?

-Same structures. It's just a different product.

0:19:510:19:55

-Am I actually like the CEO?

-Technically, yeah.

0:19:550:19:58

C-O-C-K, more like.

0:19:580:20:01

Ben, stay there. Don't move a muscle and I'll be right back. Hold on.

0:20:010:20:06

TECHNO MUSIC

0:20:060:20:09

Weee!

0:20:110:20:12

Weee!

0:20:140:20:16

You appeared on the RTE show Lords Of The Ring.

0:20:180:20:22

Was that a remake of Queer As Folk?

0:20:220:20:24

HE LAUGHS

0:20:240:20:27

It wasn't far off, to be honest!

0:20:270:20:30

-Was it like boxing, yeah?

-It was.

-Who were you fighting?

0:20:300:20:34

I got pulled out by the doctor before I got to fight.

0:20:340:20:39

You got pulled off?

0:20:390:20:40

I was gutted.

0:20:400:20:41

Who were you meant to fight?

0:20:410:20:43

I was meant to fight Paul Martin. The showbiz journo from The Mirror.

0:20:430:20:48

PABLO GROWLS Easy, easy.

0:20:480:20:50

Has he been slagging off your show?

0:20:500:20:51

He's been milking the whole Stephen Gately thing

0:20:510:20:54

-and that's a big idol of Pablo's. It's a bit personal.

-I'll never forget you, Stephen.

0:20:540:20:59

He had the greatest technique of standing off the stool at the key change I've ever seen.

0:21:000:21:04

He was the master. The master. The Gately.

0:21:040:21:08

That move is now called The Gately.

0:21:080:21:10

-The Gately?

-How come the doctor pulled you off?

0:21:100:21:14

A suspected aneurysm on my head. In my brain.

0:21:140:21:18

Wow. They discovered you actually had a brain, brilliant!

0:21:180:21:21

-I was delighted myself.

-At that stage in life, that's pretty handy.

0:21:210:21:25

Mum and Dad threw a party for me and everything. They were as shocked as I was.

0:21:250:21:29

This being a radio station, we often ask our guests what sort of stuff they life music-wise.

0:21:290:21:35

What do you like?

0:21:350:21:36

-Love Snow Patrol.

-Shite.

0:21:360:21:39

-Kings Of Leon.

-Shite.

-Shite.

-Shite? What do you like? Scooter?

0:21:390:21:42

-Tiesto. Scooter.

-Scooter, Tiesto?

0:21:420:21:45

PABLO BEATBOXES

0:21:450:21:46

Nice one. Bring the beats, Pabs.

0:21:460:21:49

BEATBOXING CONTINUES You feeling it, Ben?

0:21:490:21:51

I can get into that.

0:21:510:21:53

Ben from The Apprentice, where are you going to be in two years' time?

0:21:530:21:57

Hopefully in somewhere like Hong Kong

0:21:570:22:01

on a trading floor making lots of money.

0:22:010:22:05

Is money really better than sex?

0:22:050:22:07

That's a good question. I only said it to get on the show.

0:22:080:22:13

You've got to sell to your audience,

0:22:130:22:16

and if your audience is a load of researchers, tell them what they want to hear.

0:22:160:22:20

I was wondering in case maybe you'd never had sex. That's a ridiculous thing to say.

0:22:200:22:26

It's quite a likely thing that could happen. Ugly mug, fat keg.

0:22:260:22:32

-I've got terrible chat for a woman.

-Have you got bad breath too?

0:22:320:22:37

Bad chat, bad breath...

0:22:370:22:39

-Tiny wiener?

-Tiny.

0:22:390:22:41

A weenus?

0:22:410:22:43

-A mangina?

-A weenus?

0:22:430:22:45

I've been known to sport the mangina once in a while.

0:22:450:22:49

-I think our work here is done.

-Yes.

0:22:490:22:51

Ben Clarke from The Apprentice! Thank you very much.

0:22:530:22:55

Thank you, lads.

0:22:550:22:57

-Show the man out and then lock the door, please.

-I shall do.

0:22:570:23:00

Toodle-loo!

0:23:020:23:04

Pity about the whole Sandhurst thing but pleasure to meet you. Good luck.

0:23:040:23:08

Thank you very much. I'm going to need it.

0:23:080:23:11

Aye. Sandhurst. Girl Guides, more like.

0:23:150:23:19

Ben Clarke there! Ben famously said that making money is better than sex.

0:23:190:23:26

Obviously he's never been rimmed by a Portuguese hooker while another sucks coke off his bell end.

0:23:260:23:31

Our thanks to Jackie Fullerton for that observation.

0:23:310:23:33

-AMERICAN ACCENTS

-Jackie Fullerton?

-Jackie Fullerton.

0:23:350:23:38

Jackie Fullerton?

0:23:380:23:39

Jackie Fuller-TON.

0:23:390:23:41

Jack-ee Full-ER-ton.

0:23:410:23:42

Jackie Full-erton.

0:23:420:23:44

Jack-IE Full-er-ton.

0:23:440:23:46

Jackie Fullerton.

0:23:460:23:48

Ah-league leaders Linfield-ah.

0:23:480:23:50

Are playing ah-Liverpool.

0:23:500:23:52

Slow, slow, quick, quick. 2-1.

0:23:540:23:57

THEY LAUGH

0:23:570:23:58

David Healy, Northern Ireland.

0:23:580:24:01

I've got a big shout out here for Seamus from Fermanagh, and that's from his auntie, mother and sister.

0:24:010:24:07

Aw, three women who love him.

0:24:070:24:09

It was just the one woman, actually.

0:24:090:24:12

-And who's the next caller?

-'Hi, It's Graham, here.'

0:24:120:24:16

Graham-boooo!

0:24:160:24:18

-What can we do you for?

-'I was wondering if you know how to use a tranquiliser gun.'

0:24:180:24:22

Eh... how big is the thing you want to drug?

0:24:220:24:26

'ELEPHANT TRUMPETS'

0:24:260:24:27

I'm not sure we can help you, mate.

0:24:270:24:30

'I don't want to get a dart gun.

0:24:300:24:32

'Just beat it to death with a shovel or something. Thanks. That was useful.

0:24:320:24:35

'Do you fellas know anything about the ivory trade?'

0:24:350:24:38

Do you not screen these calls?!

0:24:380:24:41

Producer Pablo, produce this. What are we doing now?

0:24:410:24:45

It's time to sojourn to the boudoir

0:24:450:24:48

to hear that band we were talking about earlier.

0:24:480:24:52

They are Silhouette and this track is called Volume Destroyed.

0:24:520:24:56

# Volume destroyed

0:25:060:25:08

# My brand new fluffy toy

0:25:080:25:10

# The childish dream

0:25:100:25:12

# Wasn't listening

0:25:120:25:15

# Send you to go

0:25:150:25:17

# I swear you'll love me more

0:25:170:25:18

# Another day

0:25:180:25:20

# Can't live my life this way

0:25:200:25:23

# Yeah

0:25:230:25:25

# Don't wait, wait up

0:25:410:25:43

# So confusing, I can't

0:25:430:25:45

# Make up my mind

0:25:450:25:47

# Got me in a spin

0:25:470:25:49

# Watch me, ignore me

0:25:490:25:52

# If you want me, no

0:25:520:25:54

# Love me, hate me

0:25:540:25:56

# Depends what mood you're in

0:25:560:25:58

# Your volume destroyed

0:25:580:26:00

# My brand new fluffy toy

0:26:000:26:02

# The childish dream

0:26:020:26:03

# Wasn't listening

0:26:030:26:07

# Send you to go I swear you'll love me more

0:26:070:26:10

# Another day

0:26:100:26:12

# Can't live my life this way

0:26:120:26:15

# Yeah, yeah, yeah

0:26:150:26:17

# Ow-wow-wow-wow-ow

0:26:170:26:19

# Yeah, yeah, yeah

0:26:190:26:21

# Ow-wow-wow-wow-ow

0:26:210:26:24

# Little blue bird

0:26:240:26:26

# It's flyin', it's flyin'

0:26:260:26:29

# It's magic white wings

0:26:290:26:31

# Surrounding my cars

0:26:310:26:33

# And all the pretty eyes

0:26:330:26:36

# They're staring, staring at me

0:26:360:26:38

# And I can't control myself

0:26:380:26:42

# Don't wait, wait up

0:26:430:26:45

# So confusing

0:26:450:26:46

# I can't make up my mind

0:26:460:26:50

# Got me in a spin

0:26:500:26:51

# Watch me, ignore me

0:26:510:26:53

# If you only knew

0:26:530:26:56

# Love me, hate me

0:26:560:26:58

# Depends what mood you're in

0:26:580:26:59

# Your volume destroyed

0:26:590:27:01

# My brand new fluffy toy

0:27:010:27:04

# The childish dream

0:27:040:27:06

# Wasn't listening

0:27:060:27:08

# Send you to go

0:27:080:27:10

# I swear you'll love me more

0:27:100:27:12

# Another day

0:27:120:27:14

# Can't live my life this way

0:27:140:27:17

# Yeah, yeah, yeah

0:27:170:27:19

# Ow-wow-wow-wow-ow

0:27:190:27:21

# Yeah, yeah, yeah

0:27:210:27:23

# Ow-wow-wow-wow-ow

0:27:230:27:26

# Yeah, yeah, yeah

0:27:260:27:28

# Ow-wow-wow-wow-ow

0:27:280:27:30

# Yeah, yeah, yeah

0:27:300:27:32

# Ow-wow-wow-wow-ow. #

0:27:320:27:34

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:27:440:27:47

E-mail [email protected]

0:27:470:27:50

That is one hell of a fancy bracelet your bird's got.

0:28:050:28:08

Nah, she's on bail. It's an electronic tag.

0:28:080:28:10

Ooh, that's awful!

0:28:100:28:12

It's been mis-wired. Every time I send her a text she pisses herself!

0:28:120:28:16

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