New Forest One Man and His Campervan

Today, I take my campervan into one of the most beautiful forests in Britain.

It's so great to be back here in the New Forest.

I go foraging for my dinner.

That's an absolute cracker.

But one mistake and I'm a dead man.

If you've got the wrong one, I'm afraid it's all over.

'And was I about to come face to face with my worst phobia - snakes?'

It is the sort of place you would find, unfortunately, a nice big fat adder.

And will my tiny campervan kitchen allow me

to make a classic French dish with a rather unusual local twist?

So here I am,

one man and his campervan, back on the open road. I've left my home county

of Devon and I'm driving across Southern England

to the beautiful New Forest that spans Hampshire and Wiltshire.

So I've done about 146 miles since I left North Devon.

Trouble-free miles as well, which is great. So far the old girl is doing us proud.

You know, we've got 1,500 to go, so really anything could happen.

But so far, so good.

The van is doing so well, in fact, that the heater that was stuck open has managed to right itself.

It's just as well. The weather is glorious.

Time to wind down the windows and check out the local wildlife.

New Forest ponies. Hello, Neddy!

I used to come here as a kid, and I just have such brilliant memories of it.

New Forest ponies and the beautiful countryside.

So it's really, really excellent to be back.

The New Forest is huge.

Over 500 square kilometres.

And the word "new" in New Forest was actually added 1,000 years ago by William the Conqueror

who took the whole area for his private hunting ground.

There are still deer here today, but they tend to be rather shy and remain hidden deep in the forest.

More sociable are the famous New Forest ponies.

They're given free rein here, unlike me.

Unfortunately, I can't pitch camp where I like.

So I'm heading into the village of Brockenhurst.

Well, we're off to a campsite, which I'm really looking forward to seeing.

Apparently the campsites in the New Forest are pretty special.

And I'm going to meet a guy called Gary.

He has promised to take me foraging.

There must be all kinds of great stuff out there.

I'm really looking forward to it.

The only thing is that obviously if we don't find anything, there won't be anything for tea.

So I really hope Gary knows what he's doing.

Right, here we are. This is super.

Wow! Nice place.

Oh, look at that van there!

So I've arrived at the Hollands Wood campsite where,

fingers crossed, I'll be cooking a foraged dinner for Gary.

Loads of people think that wild camping is the only way to go

because it's natural and among the elements and everything.

But, when it's as nice as this, why would you not want to stay on a campsite?

No time to enjoy the view though.

It's mid-afternoon already, and I've got my dinner to pick up.

And I mean literally pick up.

-Are you Gary?

-Hi, Martin.

-How are you doing?

-Nice to meet you.

-Yeah, and you.

-You found us all right?

-Yeah, I know the forest quite well.

-Good.

-Yeah, it wasn't too difficult.

Good stuff, good stuff.

Great van. Love it.

-Come and have a look.

-Oh, great.

'I'm never one to miss the chance to show off my pride and joy.'

Welcome to home from home.

-I've been after one of these for years.

-Have you?

Yeah, absolutely. It's been my dream.

Everything you need is here.

So if I step inside, I'll give you a quick tour of the van.

-So here we have a little two-ring cooker.

-Excellent.

Do you think we might be able to create something nice on that?

Oh, I'm sure you will.

It could do with a bit of a clean, Gary.

I'm a bit embarrassed by that now I've lifted that up.

'Moving swiftly on...'

And also, of course, I have in here

a full set of pressed wardrobe.

Just because you're out in the countryside, having fun

and foraging and doing whatever you're doing, doesn't mean to say you should forget a little decorum.

A pressed shirt is always essential!

Talking of the foraging, I think it's time we got out into the forest

and let's see what we can find for a bit of supper tonight, eh?

Well, I'm hungry, so let's do it.

So, looking suitably attired,

Gary and I head off into the forest to find some food for tonight.

I'm hoping to cook succulent chanterelle mushrooms to have on a bed of wild salad leaves.

But everything will have to be foraged and there might be a bit of a problem.

OK, so it's been quite dry recently.

So the chances are that we might not actually have any dinner.

We'll have salad, but the mushrooms?

I'm afraid it is pot luck.

Now, potential foragers beware.

Most of the New Forest is National Park

with very strict rules.

You can pick mushrooms, but nothing else, however tempting it might look.

There's some wild thyme growing on the side of the road.

-This?

-Yeah, all of this is thyme.

-We're not allowed to pick it.

No, you're not, but if you scrunch it up, you can smell it on your fingers.

-It's wonderful.

-Yeah.

-That's really lovely.

And it just grows everywhere.

'This was torture! Beautiful, fragrant thyme and we can't pick it.'

-Beautiful. Beautiful.

-Lovely, isn't it?

Rules are rules, I won't argue with them.

But how on earth were we going to get our dinner?

Luckily, parts of the New Forest are privately owned. And this is where,

with the permission of the landowners, you can forage to your heart's content.

Every forager has his own special patches.

And this one is particularly good for salad stuffs.

So you're lucky that I'm bringing you here today.

This is really special.

'Forget the veg aisle at your local supermarket -

'this field has everything you need for the perfect salad.

'But will we be able to track it down?'

Right then, so...

into the salad bowl we go for our foraging adventure.

'As I obeyed the Country Code and remembered to close the gate, Gary steamed on ahead.

'And he had already made a discovery.'

-We've got loads of wild camomile.

-So what would you do with this, dry it out?

No, you pick the flowers, and steep about 10 flowers in boiling water in a cup.

You'll get the best night's sleep you've had.

'Under Gary's trained eyes, this ordinary looking field soon came alive with edible potential.'

Another couple of steps and look - all this little broad leaf, bright green, that's chickweed.

Show me which one I'm looking at.

-Well, any of this.

-This one?

-This is chickweed.

It's got a nutty freshness.

It tastes like...

-when you've freshly mown the lawn.

-Yep.

-That's lovely.

-That's the base of our salad.

-OK, let's pick away.

-So pick without pulling the roots out.

-OK.

-You don't want it too long.

-About that. Perfect.

-OK.

'So far, so good. But I was about to discover

'that foraging for edible leaves can be like playing Russian Roulette.'

What are we looking for next then?

We can look for one of the orachs. This one here.

'Gary shows me an innocent looking patch of orachs.'

Looks great, like a spinach.

-OK.

-Really superb flavour, and absolutely stuffed with vitamin C.

-You can eat it raw?

-You can, yeah. Great in a salad.

But be careful - leaves like these can be deadly.

You have to make absolutely certain with this. With your chickweed, it's not a problem.

But with this, you have to know what you're doing. There are some deadly poisonous leaves

that look quite similar.

-So this one, we're pretty sure, is going to be safe?

-Safe as houses.

-It tastes good anyway.

-It's a good one.

Let's see what happens later!

I trust you. I place my life in your hands.

Let's go on and see what else we can find.

'Gary told me that if I had eaten a poisonous leaf, in half an hour,

'I could be suffering with severe nausea, or at worst, organ failure.'

Goodness me, look at the size of that!

That is a chicken of the wood.

When you slice a piece off, it actually tastes a bit like chicken.

So you can eat that?

-Yes, but no.

-Right, OK.

It does contain a lot of toxins and you have to be careful.

Some people can eat it with no ill effects whatsoever.

Some people, a piece the size of your thumbnail, you will be violently sick.

It has the same texture

as the breast meat of chicken. Look at that.

It really does. Look at that.

I'm actually tempted to...

No, you cannot eat this one raw.

It has to be blanched, and then you can pan fry it.

If you really want to go down that road.

I don't advise anybody to eat this mushroom.

-So the man who knows says, chicken of the woods...

-Leave it alone.

Leave it alone. Fair enough. Let's move on.

'So we had our salad leaves, but as the chicken of the woods fell foul of health and safety regulations,

'it was time to get back in the van and head deeper into the forest

'in search of some chanterelle mushrooms

'for my mushrooms fried in butter, on toast and served with a foraged salad.

'But we had to hurry, I didn't much fancy being out in the forest after sunset,

'and of course, these cows weren't making it any easier.

'Luckily, there was still plenty of daylight when we arrived,

'which is just as well, as mushrooms are not the only things lurking in these woods.'

I'm absolutely terrified of snakes.

Right. Well, yes, the forest has got a lot of snakes.

You have got the adder, the grass snake and even the smooth snake.

'So, three types of snake could be lying in wait for us.

'But we still didn't have a main course for tonight's campervan dinner.

'So it was time to conquer my fears and find those chanterelles.'

-What are we looking for?

-They won't be very big, they might be as big as that. They are bright orange.

Now here we go, what's this here?

That is chanterelle.

These are tiny, but they are not going to get any bigger.

They're too dry, they're just going shrivel up

and just die away. So we may as well take them.

'Unlike the wild thyme we saw earlier, you are allowed to pick mushrooms in the New Forest.

'Within reason.'

The Forestry Commission allow you to take a kilo and a half per visit.

Well, there you go, look at that. My very first chanterelle.

Potentially, if we find a few more of these,

I think we might have ourselves a forager's dinner.

'This is what I love - the dappled late afternoon sunlight,

'birdsong, foraging for delicious chanterelle mushrooms.

'I should have known it was too good to last!'

A good place for chanterelles here?

Anywhere around this moss is always a good place to look for a few chanterelles.

-Where there's a bit of shadow as well.

-OK.

'It seems where there are mushrooms, there can also be snakes.'

If you sort of take a look inside the hole in that tree...

What are we going to find in here?

I'm not putting my hand in there, I have to say.

That is one thing I'm not going to do.

It is the sort of place you would find, unfortunately, a nice, big, fat adder.

I will actually jump a mile, seriously, if I find one!

If I was going to turn that log over, I would tell you to stand back,

because that is the sort of place that is perfect for snakes.

'Despite my terror, Gary regaled me with some horrific facts.'

When the females come out in spring, they're full of venom and very dangerous.

They can kill a dog and they can kill an elderly person.

I will just fake a few steps back...

And there's no snake, that's brilliant news, look at that.

To be honest, Gary, I would go surfing in six foot waves, I will do anything

you ask me, but go looking for snakes...

My heart is pounding!

'Gary reassured me that there aren't actually that many snakes in the New Forest,

'and they are apparently a lot more scared of us than we are of them.

'Back to the chanterelle hunt.'

Oh, here's one. Oh, yes!

Looks like we're going to have dinner after all. How about that?

I cannot wait to have that on MY piece of toast!

THEY CHUCKLE

'Two hours of foraging had produced plenty of mushrooms

'and not a snake in sight.

'But little did I realise that I was about to lead us into the path of potential danger.'

Here we go, Gary! Look at that,

that's nothing like any of these chanterelles. What's that?

That is one of the amanitas - the most dangerous mushroom.

There are so many poisonous amanitas.

-So is this is one poisonous?

-This could be the blusher.

Which is an edible amanita.

But you cannot tell the difference between this

and the deadly panther cap.

If you got the wrong one, I'm afraid it's all over.

It's as simple as that - if you get the panther cap

mixed up with the blusher, it's the end.

You just don't touch it. You don't pick it, you leave it where it is.

Even I couldn't tell you exactly what that is.

That's with all your experience.

There are chanterelles here, we know they're chanterelles - nothing we can mistake them for?

-Even the chanterelle has a lookalike.

-Oh, right!

They all do. Every single edible mushroom has a poisonous lookalike.

'So just like the Queen and David Beckham,

'most mushrooms have a lookalike, but these can be deadly.

'My advice? Don't go foraging without someone like Gary.

'We headed back in the van with our basket of delights

'and these chanterelle mushrooms were just crying out to be slowly fried in fresh butter.'

'But first, we had to clean them. According to Gary, you should never wash mushrooms as good as these.

'It makes them fill up with water and can ruin the taste. So we sat there,

'gently brushing the dirt off them whilst the ponies sauntered by.

'The salad, of course, must be washed.

'I decided this was a job for Gary,

'as I had one more thing to prepare, using one of my trusty jam jars.'

I've whipped up a quick dressing - a few chilli flakes,

garlic, some wholegrain mustard... and some thyme in there,

as a celebration of the fact that we found some wild thyme and weren't allowed to pick it.

Give that quick shake - balsamic,

olive oil, a little bit of sesame oil to

finish it off, a little bit of brown sugar, to sweeten it up a bit.

There it is - simple, good stuff.

That's going on the salad.

Right, now, chance to get cooking.

Chance to get back in the van, back to my lovely little kitchen.

Here we go. I've got my mushrooms.

Light the gas. Tip for butter, stick it in a jar

and then when it gets warm, it won't melt all over

your kitchen. And we could cook them with all kinds of stuff - herbs,

garlic whatever, but today we'll keep it simple, we'll keep it fresh.

And it doesn't get much fresher than this.

From the ground to the pan in just a few hours.

All I need now is some toast to put them on.

So in case you thought that camper-van living was just

two-ring cooking, we also have another method - which is our fabulous grill.

A tiny cute little grill pan that takes two slices

of bread, thank goodness, cos obviously I've got a guest tonight.

And under they go. Keep my eye on them.

Meanwhile - oh!

Look at that! Don't they just look absolute gorgeous?

Cook's prerogative. Oh, my word.

They are...

sensational. And I won't use words like that very often about my food.

That is absolutely fantastic.

They are so delicious, they are just soft and sensational.

-Here we go, Gary.

-Superb.

You get the big one. A bit of salad.

'Chanterelle mushrooms on toasted doorsteps with foraged leaves.

'The salad - which could so easily have been dangerous without

'a positive ID from Gary - was wonderfully crisp,

'with the spiciness of the leaves complementing the nuttiness of the succulent Chanterelle mushrooms.'

Thanks to Gary, who has just brought

something really special to my plate today and to the van, which is being

out in the countryside and being so comfortable with what to find

and where to find it, where to look, all that kind of stuff.

And we have ended up with two plates of really fantastic, really simple, absolutely delicious grub.

So, cheers to Gary and cheers to the New Forest.

I still don't believe there are any snakes around here. I think you're kidding me.

Look out behind you!

'Still to come: I try my luck with milking goats.'

Oh, she's put her foot in the bucket.

I've barely got enough for my cornflakes.

'And tackle a classic French recipe, putting my camper-van kitchen to the test.

'Luckily, last night's mushrooms didn't kill me

'and I woke up to a quite breathtaking New Forest morning.'

First thing in the morning, after a night in the van, the most essential thing

after a yawn and a stretch is a cup of tea.

Also, in case you hadn't noticed, it is essential when camping,

to have a whistling kettle.

It is one of the cornerstones of camper-van living.

And camper-van living without a whistling kettle...

is not living at all.

'After my morning cuppa, it was time to hit the road again to track down the ingredients for my next meal,

'potatoes dauphinoise made with fresh local goat's cheese.

'But the New Forest rush hour was in danger of making me late.

'Time for a camper-van tip.'

We have a cow-in-the-road situation.

The thing to do here is to be as bold as you possibly can

and just keep going because they will move out of the way.

A lot of people make the mistake of sitting and waiting for the cows

to move, but they are not going to move, why should they?

There are sitting in the road having a nice day out.

There's a glorious view! 'With the cows successfully avoided, it was just me and the open road again.

'Plus a queue of cars forming behind me.'

It is quite nice, because every day in a camper van is a bit like being a Sunday driver.

You can't do anything else but Sunday driving.

You just do the Sunday driving thing.

Bom diddly-om-pom pom, diddly-om-pom-pom, diddly-om-pom-pom!

Clear road in front of you, miles and miles of traffic behind you.

King of the road.

'After driving across the New Forest to the village of Sway,

'I arrived at a farm to collect my ingredients for tonight's meal.'

Hello, look at you.

Hello. Do you have a name?

No? What a beautiful thing you are.

'The New Forest Goat Dairy is something of a local success story,

'and the cheese these lovely goats produce is sold across the UK.

'Four years ago, the owner, Clare Holmes, and her husband Jason

quit their jobs in the marine industry for a life as goat farmers.

We started off with three goats, just to have a bit of milk for ourselves,

and we have got a bit chaotic now and ended up with 55.

How old are they when you're able to milk them?

We'll leave it 18 months.

This year, they have a year growing up, and we call it the ASBO year because they just get up to mischief!

-Then we put them into kid and we start milking them the following spring.

-Are they quite naughty, then?

-Do they get into trouble?

-They do get into an awful lot of trouble.

'Clare very kindly agreed to let me park up the van in her field.

'As camper-van etiquette dictates, I had to return a favour with a favour.'

I'd be honoured if you would allow me to cook for you this evening.

Thank you very much, we'd love to see what you can rustle up, it'll be great.

The pressure's on!

'These goats are famous for their cheese so I wanted to make it my key ingredient for tonight's meal.

'Goat's cheese dauphinoise.

'I like to know where my food comes from so it was time for a bit of goat milking.'

These are the working girls.

Hello, ladies, aren't you lovely?

Maybe not a lady, this one?

No, this is George Clooney, our billy goat.

George Clooney? Is he popular with the ladies?

He's very popular and very fertile.

-Hello, George, how are you? Hello.

-Shall we go in and meet the girls?

Hello, you.

'I entered the arena brimming with confidence.'

Ladies, who's first?

I think it will be Violet.

Violet, come on, girl, I'm coming for you.

'If George Clooney can do it, surely I too can work my charms on Violet.

'What could possibly go wrong?'

Hello, Violet, you're lovely, aren't you?

Give her udders a little wipe. We don't want any germs.

She's a bit feisty.

-Am I going the right way?

-Yes, that's fine.

Yeah? She's not too keen on that.

'Not a good start, and not even a drop of milk in my bucket.'

Put your hand on the udder and you'll work in a downward motion, starting with the first index finger.

-Good girl.

-She doesn't seem to like me, does she?

The thing is with goats, they get used to the same people milking them.

Come on, Violet. 'Violet might have been full to bursting,

'but there was no way she was going to let me anywhere near her.

'My dinner plans were not going well.'

Do you know what, Violet?

I think that we ought to find somebody else, somebody who wants to be milked.

'Violet may have been less than enamoured but there was one goat who only had eyes for me.'

Hello. Hello, George, how are you?

Are you friendly?

I think Martin is being eyed up as a potential part of his harem.

Do I look like a long-haired goat?

He finds you very attractive.

'Having escaped the charms of George Clooney,

'Clare took me to meet Plan B, a more compliant goat to milk named Lottie.'

Start with your index finger and squeeze down.

Squeeze down with each of your fingers.

Nothing yet.

'My whole credibility as a country loving soul hung in the balance.'

Here we go. Look at that.

I am officially now

what you might describe as milking a goat.

You can kind of feel

-the teat filling up, can't you?

-Yes.

Then you can force it out. Oh, she's put her foot in the bucket.

'Even good-natured Lottie had had enough of me.' I barely got enough for my cornflakes!

'It was time to concede defeat and let the goats be milked by someone who knew what they were doing.'

Stay away from the van, stay away from the van.

'Having successfully guided the herd away from my paintwork,

'I headed off to prepare dinner for Clare and Jason.

'A potato classic but with a goatie twist.'

I'm going to make goat's cheese dauphinoise.

I make it at home, usually cook it in the oven.

Can you cook it in a camper van?

We'll give it a go.

'And to go with my goat's cheese treat, locally-reared rump steak,

'grilled on my trusty bucket barbecue.

'Back to my French classic dauphinoise sauce of cream, garlic,

'nutmeg and pepper, which is poured over my almost-cooked spuds.'

Instead of parboiling the potatoes, I've cooked them until they're almost done.

I'll put this under the grill and then the last thing I need is the goat's cheese.

Hi, Clare.

Hi, Martin. Here we go.

-Great stuff.

-The plain fresh cheese that we make.

That is exactly what I was after, brilliant. Can't wait to get started.

-Will your husband be joining us?

-I'm sure he'd love to.

Excellent. I'll need another chair.

Give me half an hour and it will be ready.

-Give us a shout, thanks.

-Cheers.

I'm going to slice it as thin as I can. A little bit crumbly but it's not falling apart.

It's got really lovely texture. That is really fresh.

It's only been made a few days ago, and it is going to

cook really, really well.

'I don't have an oven in my camper van, but after 10 minutes, the grill had worked wonders.'

Out come the potatoes, all that garlicky cream has had a chance to

work its magic.

On goes the goat's cheese.

I think that is looking pretty good,

all I have got to do now is whack the grill up and whack it back in.

'With Clare and Jason on their way, it was time to plate up.'

OK, so, lovely bits of juicy steak.

Handful of rocket.

Tiny drizzle of balsamic.

Nice dollop of beetroot chutney,

and we are ready for the dauphinoise.

Hi, guys, how are you doing?

Just finishing up.

-Absolutely lovely.

-About to plate up the dauphinoise.

Sir, a job for you.

'The moment of truth. Will Clare and Jason think I've made good use of their award-winning cheese?'

Here we go.

'Rump steak and rocket salad served with goat's cheese daupninoise potatoes.'

See if we are doing your wonderful goat's cheese justice.

-It's amazing what you can do in a camper van.

-That is the challenge, isn't it?

To create something, favourite dishes, without having to resort to baked beans on toast.

Pull up your chairs, and let's try it out.

'Time to taste my evening's work.'

-It works really well with potato, doesn't it?

-It works all right, doesn't it?

The sweetness of the chutney with the sharpness of the goat's cheese.

Absolutely. Beautiful, beautiful cheese, and it's really made this dish for me, so thank you.

-Thank you.

-There you go, I'm quite pleased with that.

Some of it is my work, of course, the rest of it is the work of Lottie, Kerry,

and of course none of it would be possible without our George.

Here's to curious George and...

camper-van goat's cheese dauphinoise.

Thank you very much, I've had a really great time.

'The moon was out, it was getting late and I was exhausted, but the kids were still wide awake.'

-Hello, you guys!

-What are you up to?

Shouldn't you lot be in bed? Eh?

'Next time, I take a camper-van trail to the north Norfolk coast.'

The landscape is flat and big and wide with the most enormous skies.

'I'll show you the best way to open a crab without all the fancy tools.

'I have a go at roadside roulette.'

Here's one, let's see what they've got.

'Cooking food only from roadside stalls.

'A camper-van gadget saves the day.

'And I do battle with the finger-snapping main course.'

Look at the size of those claws, they are amazing.

Ow, ow, ow, ow! Have I got a pot that's big enough?

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