Madagascar World's Most Dangerous Roads


Madagascar

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'There are over five billion kilometres of roads on the planet.

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'Now, even the most inaccessible places can be reached by car.

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Oh, God!

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'Over high mountain passes.'

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Confront your fear.

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'Across vast lunar landscapes.'

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This is mad! Oh, my God!

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'And along bone-shaking jungle tracks.'

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Oh, God.

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Slowing down would be complete madness.

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'These roads may be seen as a sign of progress,

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'but driving them requires skill...'

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What would happen if the wheel came off the edge?

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'..Stamina...'

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-Look, there's a cross there.

-Yeah!

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'..And a steady nerve.'

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That was the most frightening thing I've ever done in my life.

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I might burst into tears now.

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'Madagascar, known for its forests, its beaches, its lemurs

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'and some of the worst roads in the world.'

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-Road, bad or good?

-Bad, bad, bad!

-Bad, bad, bad? That's very bad.

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OK, Angus, we are actually in the middle of a river.

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'Journalist Mariella Frostrup and actor Angus Deayton

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'have known each other for over 20 years.'

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Come on, Angus, we can do it!

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'But they've never travelled alone together.'

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Every morning, a perfect shirt.

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It's making me want to dip my hand deep into a clump of mud

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and rub it all over him.

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Very noble of you.

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I can't hear you anymore and it's bliss.

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'Both have been round the world.'

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SHE SCREAMS

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'But neither has attempted a journey as arduous as this.'

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A sea of mud, the like of which I hope

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I never see again in my life.

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'They're attempting to drive from the capital Antananarivo

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'to the remote North West corner of the island,

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'one of the most bio-diverse places on earth.'

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God, that's a long way down.

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'Their route is so challenging that few tourists even attempt it.'

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Bit fast, Angus!

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We're going to just have to go for it, I'm afraid.

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'They'll risk dilapidated ferries.'

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-Did you give him duff fuel?

-Probably.

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'And gamble on flimsy bridges.'

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-Oh, Christ!

-Oh, blimey!

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'300 kilometres along one of the most atrocious roads in the world.'

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We're stuck in the middle of nowhere, we can't escape,

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the bridge is broken, I don't know how to impress upon you,

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the absolute crisis that we're in.

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'Angus has arrived in Madagascar a day before Mariella.'

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Tina, hi, Angus.

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-Nice to meet you, sir.

-And you.

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'He's meeting a local driver called Tina who's showing him the ropes.'

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The bad roads?

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Yes. Sandy roads, muddy roads, water.

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I'd like to think I was quite gung-ho about things but

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unfortunately I'm not. I'm something of a wuss when it comes to danger.

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Well, those are obviously the gears but there are two gear sticks.

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-Four wheel drive, great.

-Have a nice trip.

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Thank you very much, Tina.

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Can't remember a word of what he said now.

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Right, I'm going to go for it.

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We're on our way to the airport to pick up esteemed broadcaster

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and Forces sweetheart Mariella Frostrup.

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'Madagascar is the fourth biggest island on the planet.

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'In 1897, it was colonized by the French

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'who built a network of roads across the country.

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'After independence in 1960, political turmoil

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'and a lack of money meant that the roads were left to crumble.'

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This looks pretty much like the airport.

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-Hello!

-Of all the places.

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-I know.

-That we thought we'd...

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I've been on holiday with Mariella before.

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In fact, my son described her as being

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the scariest non-fictional person he'd ever come across.

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So obviously, she's sort of up there with Voldemort and Cruella de Vil.

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Nice car, have you driven it yet?

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Er, well, I was going to say I was completely on top of things,

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but I can't actually even open it.

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I wanted to do this trip with Angus because he's not that macho.

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I thought he might make me look really brave and a great driver.

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Do you want me to drive first or...?

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I think that would be the gentlemanly thing to do.

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She can be quite bossy and she can be quite assertive

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but fortunately, I'm incredibly meek and accommodating

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so she'll just tell me what to do and I'll do it.

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Are you on the right side of the road, by the way?

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Umm, well, we'll soon find out.

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'The next week will be intense and a true test of their friendship,

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'but it's also a week away from their respective partners

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'Lisa and Jason.'

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Oh, that's a nice name for a packet of biscuits, isn't it? Gouty.

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You know that Lisa has a whole drawer full of rude foods.

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Shall we add it to her list? Do you think I should text her?

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Not very rude, is it, Gouty?

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OK, so I'm not as funny as Lisa.

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Is it going to be like this all the way? Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, Lisa!

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Jason said to me,

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"Don't go anywhere with that Angus Deayton, you'll regret it."

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'Angus and Mariella have just six days to drive the only road

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'between port of Toamasina and the gateway to

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'the Masoloa National Park,

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'the town of Maroantsetra, 300 kilometres to the north.

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'Most tourists choose to fly, but the locals have little choice

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'but to travel by open boat up the coast or use the road.'

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The thing is, you can't really get up any speed

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because you never know when the next pothole is going to turn up.

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I thought it was better, but it's not.

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No, not really. Good Lord!

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'They're heading north

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'on a road built by the French in colonial times

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'to get at the valuable timber, vanilla and cloves that grow here.'

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HE LAUGHS

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'50 years ago, the 300-kilometre journey could be done in a day.

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'Now, because the road is in such a state, it can take a week.'

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OK, I have some very bad news here. This little town is the end

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of the tarred road and then it says,

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"Continue north if you dare."

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'Their first overnight stop is the frontier town of Sonierana Ivongo.

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'Before finding their accommodation

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'they have to stock up on some essentials.'

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We've got to buy some petrol

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because, apparently, that's how you pay the ferry men.

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'The route will take them across countless rivers

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'and they'll have to risk it on some seriously dodgy ferries.

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'Some boats don't even have fuel, so they'll need to bring their own.'

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I'll keep my eyes peeled for a petrol station.

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A petrol station,

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although it doesn't feel like you're about to bump into a...

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A petrol station, no.

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-Oh, there's the petrol station.

-Yes, of course it is.

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Where is the petrol?

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There don't seem to be any petrol pumps of any sort.

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It's in these bottles here.

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Oh, really? We need more than that, we need...

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Is that 20 litres?

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Is that 30,000? It can't be 300,000, can it?

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-Have you got 300?

-No, it can't be 300? 60?

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OK, so he said 300,000 and you gave him 60,000.

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Yeah, I dunno. I gave him what I had!

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-Where shall we put it?

-Well, I'm not putting it inside the car.

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Oh, look, there's room up there. I can get it in there.

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You go up, put it down. Let me see if I can lift it.

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Can you lift it?

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Oooh, I can't lift it any higher than that.

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How am I going to get it up to you?

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Can you reach that far?

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SHE GRUNTS

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-Have you got it?

-No.

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Let me put my hand underneath it, have you got it?

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Yep, got it now. Thank you.

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OK? I think so, yeah.

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Don't tie it with a bow, Angus, OK?

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But it looks so nice with a bow!

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Yeah, this'll be no problem at all.

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Grab that there.

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'Sensing what lies ahead,

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'both Angus and Mariella opt for an early night.'

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As you can see, I'm in room 12.

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The first welcome I got was from this slightly strange being,

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not sure what it is.

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There's some plastic flowers there

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and a mosquito net with something on it.

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I'm just going to show you the secrets of a perfect camp bed.

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It is...ta-dah!

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My lavender oil, sprinkled liberally all over the pillow.

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An end to all the stinky, stinky, olfactory assaults

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that have been going on during the day.

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This is the en-suite shower room which, as you can see,

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has a cold shower.

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And this is the loo, which is flushed thusly.

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TOILET FLUSHES

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So that is my world for tonight. Welcome to it.

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'The next morning, they're up before dawn

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'and they're on the lookout for the ferry.'

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Blimey.

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We're sort of looking for the sign "delicious breakfasts", aren't we?

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Yeah, and ferry, aren't we?

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Is this where we're going, straight down?

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I have no idea. Yeah, we are.

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'In better times, this whole route had a good network of ferries

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'that were free for everyone.

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'Now it's not just the lack of fuel that's the problem -

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'few of these boats have seen any proper maintenance for years.'

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Angus, don't forget the bit round your ears.

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I think it's important to keep up standards.

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ENGINE STARTS

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'Fortunately, this ferry seems to have fuel.

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'It's still free to travel by foot

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'and the people depend on these ferries.

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'The only other way across is by dugout canoe.'

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I got a smile. I didn't get a wave, but I got a smile.

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'This tranquil river crossing marks the end

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'of the easy roads and the start of the real driving challenge ahead.'

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OK, good luck.

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Excellent. Good grief.

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Good start.

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See, I think it should've been in diff, that's my personal...

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I think you need to go to the left a bit.

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ENGINE STARTS

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HE SHOUTS IN FRENCH

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Try following the tyre marks over there,

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-that seems to be where everyone else has gone.

-Over there?

-Yeah.

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ENGINE REVS

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Yes!

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Sensational driving. Well done.

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'They've been advised that seatbelts aren't always beneficial

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'for these conditions.

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We need to watch the speed, we mustn't be too cavalier.

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I'm doing seven miles an hour.

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We could maybe settle on six.

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'Today, they're hoping to travel 70 kilometres up the coast

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'to the town of Antanambe.'

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You have no idea how deep these pools are.

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'This part of the world can get over 400mm of rain every month.

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'London gets 600 a year.

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'They're travelling over flat sandy ground now

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'but things will get a lot more difficult in the mountains ahead.'

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It worries me that tomorrow's going to be quite a bit worse.

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At least the landscape's starting to be a bit more interesting ahead.

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We'll be driving up into those mountains.

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Yes, so I should be less enthusiastic, you're saying?

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This is a bit of a village. Is no-one up?

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I think they had a good night. Look, it's very closed.

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While we were tucked up in our glamorous accommodation.

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-Yes, how was yours?

-I managed to make it very cosy.

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-How did you do that?

-Lavender drops on the pillow case.

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You bought lavender drops from London?

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I take lavender drops with me everywhere.

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I'm not that keen on lavender as a smell.

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-You're not?

-No, it reminds me of aunts.

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I think there's something about your childhood

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that you're not telling me.

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Did you have terrible experiences at the hands of blue-rinse relatives?

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No, I like my aunts. I just don't want to smell like them.

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SHE LAUGHS That's fair enough.

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-Oh, it's ferry time.

-Oh, we on a ferry again?

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I'm going to put it into diff here

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because you know what our last ferry experience was like.

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Oh, Christ. Oh, blimey.

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HE LAUGHS

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Excellent.

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What have I got to cope with here, Angus?

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It'll be pretty similar to last time.

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No, that's much better.

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-There's almost what you'd describe as a road in front of you.

-Almost.

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And a sign saying "hotel". Blimey, it's civilisation.

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-Well, I'm sorry.

-Simply...

-Textbook.

-..Genius.

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And look, cars waiting to go back and everything and people.

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-People. Real, live people.

-Yeah.

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'Madagascar is a very poor country.

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'70% of its 40 million people exist on just 1 a day.

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'And only three people in every 1,000 own a car.

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'Its natural beauty, however, is one of its most valuable assets

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'and hundreds of thousands of tourists are attracted

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'to its shores every year.'

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Well, this is like something out of a brochure, isn't it?

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-Palm fringed beaches.

-Very, very pretty. Tropical.

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61, I think that said. Salut!

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61.

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Yes, well, if we continue to cane it like this,

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then I would imagine we're going to be there in no time.

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Jesus!

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A little bit pacier, perhaps, on the rocks.

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I dunno why you're dawdling.

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'The road to Maroantsetra involves another 15 ferry crossings.'

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Where's the ferry?

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Good question, Angus. Where have you put it?

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'And as they'll discover, many have their own makeshift charm.'

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It was supposed to be here.

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THEY SPEAK FRENCH

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OK, so the good news is that there is a ferry.

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The bad news is that it's over there, on the other side.

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And the even worse news is that it doesn't have any petrol.

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In addition, they don't have any battery.

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So we've got to take a car battery and some petrol across there

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to get the ferry to come back here.

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Yeah, complicated. But we'll get there in the end.

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Bye. Very noble of you.

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Well, I thought so.

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SHE SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY

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I can't hear you any more and it's bliss.

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It's lovely, it's lovely.

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I'm having a great time, it's all been very good so far.

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The company, I really couldn't fault.

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Mariella's been the perfect travelling companion in every way.

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Just waiting for the tide to go out. And it's not going to.

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So I'm going to have to wade through it anyway.

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-Bonjour.

-Bonjour.

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We've got 20 litres here and we don't really want to give him

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all 20 because we need it for...

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Ten litres, that's half. We need Mariella.

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You see, she's good at negotiating.

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I just say, "Yes, please, help yourself."

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ENGINE STARTS

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Job done.

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-You know what I did think, which is to your credit?

-What?

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Faster rowing across than you were coming back on the ferry.

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That's because I managed to tack across.

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Managed to tack, is that what you call it?

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I think it's called over-steering. He's very good, though.

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I'll do the driving now.

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'They've already lost hours at this river crossing

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'and they've not yet reached the other side.

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ENGINE SPUTTERS AND DIES

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HE SPEAKS FRENCH

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What's happened? Has it broken down?

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Did you give him duff fuel?

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Probably.

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ENGINE TRIES TO START

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Which ones of us is going to decide when to panic?

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Is there any need to panic? I mean, we're almost at the shore now.

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Just allow it to drift calmly into position.

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But you can't position it, can you, smarty pants,

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if you haven't got an engine?

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We may be stuck here for the rest of the night

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and most of tomorrow morning, unless we can get off.

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I don't know which I'm more afraid of,

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crashing in the ferry or driving for 3.5 hours in the pitch dark

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on the sort of roads we've spent the day on.

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I think you're being slightly melodramatic.

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I mean, by the way he's whistling,

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it seems like this happens every day.

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Have you never heard of affecting a nonchalant air?

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'Eventually, some Malagasy ingenuity gets them safely to shore.'

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-Brilliant! Disaster averted.

-Just about.

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SHOUTING IN FRENCH

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ENGINE STARTS

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This is almost paved. It can't last.

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-Someone's slipped up somewhere.

-Yeah, just round here.

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Oh, Angus, I don't know about that.

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Fun in the dark, won't it?

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HE LAUGHS

0:21:580:21:59

Oh, my God!

0:21:590:22:01

Remember, tomorrow's going to be worse.

0:22:020:22:04

-No, tomorrow's the bad day.

-Yeah.

0:22:040:22:06

'It's already beginning to get dark,

0:22:080:22:10

'so Angus and Mariella distract themselves with a game.'

0:22:100:22:14

OK, so start me off.

0:22:140:22:17

Boris Johnson, Ken Livingstone, Gordon Brown.

0:22:170:22:22

-Oh, that is so easy.

-Oh, really?

0:22:220:22:25

Yeah, I'd shag Boris Johnson.

0:22:250:22:28

The way I'm thinking about it, if you want to know, is

0:22:280:22:31

Boris, good for a laugh.

0:22:310:22:33

OK. And there's nothing sexier really than a laugh.

0:22:330:22:37

Quite frankly, all that lovely blonde hair.

0:22:370:22:39

I think he'd be fun for a night,

0:22:390:22:41

but I think you'd tire of him quite quickly.

0:22:410:22:44

Quite quickly. OK. Marry, Gordon Brown or Ken Livingstone?

0:22:440:22:48

Oh, my! Water, Angus, could be a ferry.

0:22:480:22:51

That may have saved you from having to choose between...

0:22:510:22:55

It's now 6.00 in the evening, and I think we're still a couple of hours

0:22:570:23:02

away from where we're staying tonight.

0:23:020:23:04

And the road has definitely got a lot rougher.

0:23:040:23:07

That last bit, that muddy bit with the rocks and things,

0:23:070:23:10

that was quite scary but you have to get over that.

0:23:100:23:14

Because I think, if you don't go ahead and do it,

0:23:140:23:17

then you end up being terrified all the time

0:23:170:23:19

and that's not really going to work on this journey.

0:23:190:23:22

Martina Navratilova.

0:23:240:23:26

Oh, my dear God, yes?

0:23:260:23:28

Germaine Greer or Ann Widdecombe?

0:23:280:23:31

Please don't say Ann Widdecombe.

0:23:310:23:33

I knew you were going to say Ann Widdecombe.

0:23:330:23:36

Sharon Stone, Rachel Weisz and January Jones.

0:23:360:23:41

Hang on, the rules of the game have changed rather dramatically!

0:23:410:23:44

'Today is reputed to be the hardest leg of the journey

0:23:500:23:53

'and Angus has dressed accordingly.'

0:23:530:23:56

Every morning, perfect shirt, perfectly...

0:23:560:23:59

I mean, his mum must be so proud of him.

0:23:590:24:02

It's making me want to dip my hand deep into a clump of mud

0:24:020:24:06

and rub it all over him.

0:24:060:24:09

Have we got tissues, Angus, and have we got wipes?

0:24:090:24:13

And is that your orange from today or yesterday?

0:24:130:24:16

You're beginning to sound like my mother.

0:24:160:24:19

I may be sounding like your mother, but look at you.

0:24:190:24:21

Yes, and have I got a handkerchief and have I combed my hair.

0:24:210:24:25

I'm not the one walking round in an ironed white shirt

0:24:250:24:28

for possibly the worst day on the road.

0:24:280:24:30

'Right from the off, the road shows no mercy.'

0:24:320:24:36

-Oh, it's started.

-It's started already.

0:24:360:24:39

'Today, the route is more mountainous and they're

0:24:390:24:42

'immediately faced with steep rocky slopes and thick glutinous mud.'

0:24:420:24:46

Hold tight.

0:24:460:24:47

I'm just going for it

0:24:490:24:51

because I think slowing down would be an act of complete madness.

0:24:510:24:56

What? As opposed to this?

0:24:560:24:58

Could you imagine how it would revolutionize this country

0:25:010:25:05

if someone invested in the infrastructure?

0:25:050:25:08

It's ridiculous.

0:25:080:25:10

How do people survive? Hospital, your child is dangerously ill...

0:25:100:25:14

I mean, yeah, the emergency services can't really get to

0:25:140:25:17

anyone in less than half a day.

0:25:170:25:19

I'm not even sure there are any.

0:25:190:25:21

'It's only 7.30 in the morning and already they're at

0:25:220:25:25

'their first river crossing.'

0:25:250:25:27

Look, they have to pull it backwards and forwards.

0:25:270:25:30

Well, that saves on the petrol.

0:25:300:25:32

Maybe we don't have to give them our battery today.

0:25:320:25:36

ENGINE STARTS

0:25:360:25:38

Alley-up!

0:25:410:25:42

'The ferry is packed with locals going about their business.

0:25:440:25:48

-You speak English, yes?

-Yes.

0:25:480:25:50

Can you tell me how the road is ahead? Bad or good?

0:25:500:25:54

-Good or bad?

-Bad, bad, bad, yes.

0:25:540:25:57

-Bad, bad, bad, that's very bad.

-Yes.

0:25:570:26:00

-Is it steep?

-Yes, he just went like that.

0:26:000:26:03

You live here?

0:26:030:26:05

No, no live. I live Tutamatave.

0:26:050:26:07

Ah, OK, so you're travelling.

0:26:070:26:10

Yes, I buy vanilla.

0:26:100:26:12

Ah, you buy vanilla.

0:26:120:26:14

When you come back?

0:26:140:26:15

When will we get there? That's the question.

0:26:150:26:19

Two very good questions.

0:26:190:26:22

THEY LAUGH

0:26:220:26:24

-We don't know the answer to either of them.

-Sadly.

0:26:240:26:26

'Madagascar is the world's leading producer of vanilla.

0:26:290:26:33

'But the roads to the plantations are appalling.'

0:26:330:26:36

CAR RATTLES

0:26:360:26:38

'Angus and Mariella have just 46km to travel today,

0:26:380:26:42

'but this road is so tough that nothing is guaranteed.

0:26:420:26:46

-Oh, Jesus!

-Oh, gosh.

0:26:490:26:51

Oh, mind this other car.

0:27:000:27:03

Yeah.

0:27:030:27:04

Well done, well done. My God, look at your window!

0:27:070:27:10

HE LAUGHS

0:27:100:27:12

I'm shaking! Wow, that was scary, exhausting...

0:27:120:27:16

-Yeah, you did very well.

-..And difficult, actually.

0:27:160:27:20

'Incredibly, this is the only road connecting Toamasina

0:27:200:27:23

'with two major towns, and the people travel by foot,

0:27:230:27:28

'bicycle and the local public transport known as taxi brousse.'

0:27:280:27:31

They don't have to run. Why are they running?

0:27:380:27:40

Maybe they're running to get to the bit where I'll badly

0:27:400:27:43

need their help, that's what I suspect.

0:27:430:27:45

They're running ahead because they know there's a really

0:27:450:27:48

precipitous drop and that's where they get the biggest laughs.

0:27:480:27:52

Or we'll have to pay them to dig us out. They're laughing.

0:27:540:27:57

There's more of them coming,

0:27:570:27:59

there's definitely something happening down here.

0:27:590:28:02

'A vital concrete bridge has been severely damaged

0:28:100:28:12

'during the rainy season.

0:28:120:28:14

'The locals have cobbled together an alternative way of getting across.

0:28:160:28:21

But it's not for the faint-hearted.

0:28:250:28:27

Yeah, the worst bit is that mud at the end, to be honest.

0:28:320:28:36

Oh, they're moving rocks in the river now as well.

0:28:360:28:40

Look how deep it is.

0:28:400:28:42

There's just no margin for error here, really.

0:28:420:28:45

Yeah, it's very scenic, though.

0:28:480:28:50

I might just wait up here and take photographs of you.

0:28:500:28:53

What do you think?

0:28:530:28:55

I think it's scary as hell.

0:28:550:28:57

You're the one that's going to be driving.

0:28:570:29:00

I think it's really difficult.

0:29:010:29:03

Let's get it over with.

0:29:110:29:13

Fabulous. I've never driven into a river before.

0:29:160:29:19

It feels rather peculiar to be doing it willingly.

0:29:190:29:23

Blimey, you've got it down to a fine art.

0:29:260:29:29

OK, Angus, we are actually travelling across a river.

0:29:330:29:37

Now this guy takes over.

0:29:410:29:42

Left a bit.

0:29:500:29:51

OK?

0:29:580:29:59

Mora mora! >

0:29:590:30:01

Slowly, slowly. Softly, softly.

0:30:010:30:03

No, no, no, he means...

0:30:030:30:05

Come on, Angus, we can do it!

0:30:130:30:15

ENGINE REVS

0:30:150:30:17

Come on. Come on.

0:30:180:30:21

Oh, my good God!

0:30:210:30:24

That was the most frightening thing I've ever done in my life.

0:30:240:30:27

I might burst into tears now.

0:30:270:30:29

Yes, do, feel free, you deserve it, well done.

0:30:290:30:32

HE LAUGHS

0:30:320:30:35

You have just crossed a river in a car.

0:30:350:30:39

And just for your information, "mora mora" means "softly, softly",

0:30:390:30:42

not "go as fast as you possibly can!"

0:30:420:30:44

No, for the last bit they said,

0:30:440:30:46

"Go as fast as you can because, otherwise, you won't get up the mud."

0:30:460:30:49

-I see mud on the dashboard. No surprise.

-It's all over me.

0:30:490:30:52

See, not a spot on you, not a spot, not even a splash of mud.

0:30:520:30:57

Oh, for God's sake! Look at the state of my trousers, I'm covered in it.

0:30:570:31:01

Hmm. Well... That speaks volumes, quite frankly.

0:31:010:31:05

'Angus and Mariella are trying to drive between Antanambe and Mananara,

0:31:060:31:11

'but four hours in, they've only covered a fraction of the distance.

0:31:110:31:15

'The dreadful road has at least meant one thing -

0:31:200:31:23

'that this remote and beautiful coastline has remained unspoiled.'

0:31:230:31:27

Nice ocean views.

0:31:300:31:32

Yes, which I'll be enjoying.

0:31:320:31:35

God, it's a long way down.

0:31:360:31:38

This is spectacularly scenic but at the same time terrifying.

0:31:380:31:42

Terrifyingly dangerous, yep. This is a tight corner.

0:31:420:31:46

Please turn the wheel.

0:31:460:31:48

I am, but if I turn it too fast, I'll be all over the place.

0:31:480:31:52

La-la-la! Quite near the edge there.

0:31:530:31:56

'This coast is regularly lashed by devastating storms,

0:31:580:32:02

'and in February 2012

0:32:020:32:04

'Madagascar took a direct hit from cyclone Giovanna.

0:32:040:32:07

'Winds of over 170mph killed 33 people

0:32:100:32:14

'and just added to the devastation of the roads

0:32:140:32:18

'on this exposed eastern coast.'

0:32:180:32:20

TYRES SPIN

0:32:280:32:30

Neither backwards nor forwards.

0:32:320:32:34

-I think, Angus...

-I think we are.

-..Stuck.

0:32:390:32:43

It's funny because all four tyres are actually on...

0:32:460:32:49

We're stuck on that rock.

0:32:490:32:51

I think it needs to be lifted up.

0:32:510:32:53

Yeah, I know, but how do you lift up a 4x4?

0:32:530:32:56

We need a piece of wood or something to put under the tyre

0:32:590:33:03

to elevate it above the rock.

0:33:030:33:07

No, no, no, at the front.

0:33:070:33:09

Well, I can't go forwards.

0:33:090:33:10

It'll help you go, it'll help you get traction on it.

0:33:100:33:13

I don't think it'll go forwards.

0:33:130:33:15

TYRES SPIN

0:33:220:33:24

No?

0:33:300:33:31

Oh, dear, Angus, the worst has happened.

0:33:310:33:35

I know.

0:33:350:33:36

Look at your shirt sleeve. Look at your shirt sleeve.

0:33:360:33:40

Yes, please, any help.

0:33:450:33:48

I've never been so glad to see a man in my life.

0:33:480:33:51

So, Angus, is the plan to lift it up and then

0:33:530:33:56

when it's up high enough, put the wood underneath the tyre?

0:33:560:34:00

I'm assuming so.

0:34:000:34:01

THEY SPEAK FRENCH

0:34:010:34:03

This is turning into quite a long day.

0:34:030:34:05

Merci beaucoup! C'est tres gentile!

0:34:140:34:17

Thank God those guys were around. What would we have done?

0:34:210:34:24

Well, we would've just had to wait.

0:34:240:34:26

We've done 3.5 kilometres.

0:34:260:34:29

Is it? Oh, excellent going.

0:34:290:34:31

And it's 11.30. We've been on the road for...

0:34:310:34:34

-Six, seven, eight...

-5.5 hours.

0:34:340:34:37

5.5 hours. We have 36 kilometres still to go to Mananara.

0:34:370:34:42

'They're now way behind schedule

0:34:450:34:46

'and desperately need to cover some ground.'

0:34:460:34:49

THE CAR RATTLES

0:34:530:34:56

SHE MOANS

0:34:560:34:59

I have to say, I had no idea the road would be quite this bad.

0:35:030:35:07

Be really careful on my side, there's quite a big drop

0:35:070:35:10

so stay in the tread.

0:35:100:35:11

I will never again complain about the condition of the roads

0:35:170:35:20

in central London.

0:35:200:35:22

-No, shower me in potholes.

-Give me speed traps, bus lanes.

0:35:220:35:27

Oh, my God.

0:35:340:35:37

'They're just halfway to Mananara, but the road is unrelenting.'

0:35:470:35:52

It's exhausting, it's exhausting watching you.

0:35:540:35:57

Oh, my God, Angus. I've got to just go for it here.

0:35:590:36:05

Come on. Now we're done for.

0:36:100:36:14

THE TYRES SPIN

0:36:140:36:17

-Felt it.

-Shit!

0:36:180:36:20

'It's not just Angus and Mariella that are struggling.

0:36:220:36:24

'Even the locals are also getting bogged down.

0:36:270:36:30

'One of the taxi brousse passengers speaks English.'

0:36:340:36:38

Where are you going? Why are you driving this road?

0:36:390:36:43

Because we have work at Tamatave,

0:36:430:36:48

so me and my team are going to Tamatave.

0:36:480:36:52

These roads must drive you crazy.

0:36:540:36:56

-Yeah.

-HE CHUCKLES

0:36:560:36:58

We're trying to go to Mananara, have you just come from there?

0:36:580:37:02

-Yes.

-How's the road? Because we're having a lot of problems.

0:37:020:37:05

It's very hard, I think.

0:37:050:37:07

It's hard because the season now is not very good to travel to Mananara.

0:37:070:37:13

And from now, from here to Mananara, is it as bad as this

0:37:130:37:18

or does it get a bit better?

0:37:180:37:20

Please say it gets a bit better, please.

0:37:200:37:22

You have one road left, it's very hard.

0:37:220:37:27

But like this or worse?

0:37:270:37:29

More difficult than this. More difficult, but only one.

0:37:290:37:34

THEY LAUGH

0:37:340:37:36

-Yes.

-How long?

0:37:360:37:38

An hour, about 15 kilometres from here.

0:37:380:37:42

Very nice to meet you. Good luck on your journey.

0:37:420:37:46

Well, I don't know - is that good news, bad news?

0:37:470:37:50

-Mainly bad.

-Mainly bad.

0:37:500:37:52

'They have one major obstacle still to overcome,

0:37:550:37:57

'but the recent rain has made every inch of this road treacherous.'

0:37:570:38:02

ENGINE REVS

0:38:050:38:07

Very nice.

0:38:070:38:09

GEARS CREAK

0:38:090:38:11

ENGINE REVS

0:38:170:38:19

We're just digging deeper in the same hole, seriously.

0:38:260:38:31

Got to attempt to do something.

0:38:310:38:32

Yes, I think the sheer volume of mud is the problem.

0:38:370:38:41

Oh, my God.

0:38:410:38:43

ENGINE REVS

0:38:510:38:53

In between feeling sorry for myself and Angus,

0:38:560:38:59

I just can't work out how people manage this every day of their lives.

0:38:590:39:04

You know, I'll never complain about a motorway again.

0:39:040:39:08

Look at it flooding back down, amazing.

0:39:160:39:20

'In the last of the day's light,

0:39:350:39:38

'they eventually limp in to Mananara.'

0:39:380:39:41

Holy shit!

0:39:410:39:42

You know, television is often about pretending,

0:39:480:39:51

but this is definitely not pretending. It's really scary.

0:39:510:39:54

That road doesn't deserve to be called a road,

0:39:540:39:57

it is a river bed at best, and a sea of mud,

0:39:570:40:01

the like of which I hope I never see again in my life.

0:40:010:40:05

So here we are at Mananara, we arrived last night as darkness fell.

0:40:090:40:14

And found this thriving town of 10,000 people,

0:40:140:40:17

which felt kind of odd given the extraordinary terrain

0:40:170:40:22

that we'd managed to traverse in order to get here.

0:40:220:40:25

An odd day, really, and one that I'd be quite keen never to relive.

0:40:250:40:30

'Mananara is a bustling trading hub for the surrounding population.

0:40:300:40:35

'Cloves, cinnamon, lychees,

0:40:350:40:37

'and a million other things are all bought and sold here.'

0:40:370:40:41

-Goes on forever, this market.

-God.

0:40:410:40:43

This is so busy, compared to where we've been.

0:40:430:40:47

There's people everywhere. I'm feeling a little bit fazed by it.

0:40:470:40:51

'They're on the final stage of their journey.

0:40:520:40:54

'Tonight, they hope to reach the town of Rantabe.

0:40:540:40:57

'Tomorrow, the final push to their ultimate destination Maroantsetra.'

0:40:570:41:03

This is lovely, isn't it? It'll be nice if it stays like this.

0:41:060:41:09

It's not going to, Angus, you know it's not.

0:41:090:41:12

-You've got a bit of a bridge coming up.

-Am I on it?

0:41:140:41:18

-Yep.

-Do you think?

0:41:180:41:20

Yep, you're OK. Good. Well done.

0:41:200:41:22

Gosh, two planks of wood you had to hit there.

0:41:240:41:27

-That was quite scary.

-And fortunately, I think you did.

0:41:270:41:30

Like on a bridge like that, if we missed those planks, we'd be dead.

0:41:300:41:37

Yes, so again, well done for hitting the planks.

0:41:370:41:41

No, but I'm just sorry, just now...

0:41:410:41:44

Realising the importance of accuracy of that situation.

0:41:440:41:48

Of hitting the planks, as it were.

0:41:480:41:50

Oh, look at this, it's a lovely beach.

0:42:010:42:05

Wow, this is a bit surreal, isn't it?

0:42:050:42:07

It's wild, look at it.

0:42:090:42:11

Beautiful.

0:42:110:42:13

What happens here, Angus?

0:42:150:42:17

I think this is the ferry.

0:42:170:42:19

What? Oh, my good God.

0:42:190:42:21

And there's two whole planks of wood to drive onto it.

0:42:210:42:24

That is crazy.

0:42:240:42:25

THEY BOTH LAUGH

0:42:260:42:29

-Well, it's different.

-Angus, I don't think I can do this.

0:42:300:42:33

'The bridge across this river was destroyed by the recent cyclone.

0:42:330:42:38

'Now the villagers earn a little cash

0:42:380:42:40

'by ferrying cars across on a bamboo raft.'

0:42:400:42:44

SHE FEIGNS SCREAMING

0:42:440:42:46

Mora mora. >

0:42:480:42:49

Mora mora. Where have we heard that before?

0:42:490:42:53

Stop!

0:42:550:42:56

My God, look at this. I think we're going to be punted.

0:43:010:43:03

-Are we?

-Yeah.

-Do we need to pay, by the way?

0:43:030:43:07

You'd think. We've got to pay a lot of people by the looks of it.

0:43:070:43:10

-Can't give them any petrol.

-You'll have to do the money, dear.

0:43:100:43:14

-Salut, merci. Au revoir!

-Au revoir.

0:43:230:43:26

Oh, my God! That was scary.

0:43:290:43:31

Actually, everything is. I'm going to stop saying it

0:43:310:43:33

because quite honestly...

0:43:330:43:34

There hasn't been anything that hasn't been.

0:43:340:43:36

It's the most repeated word in my vocabulary at the moment.

0:43:360:43:40

They really are quite enterprising, aren't they?

0:43:400:43:43

You know, the bridge collapses,

0:43:430:43:45

obviously no means of building a new one so they build a raft

0:43:450:43:49

-and charge...

-5,000 ariaries a time.

0:43:490:43:51

THE SHOUT A GREETING

0:44:000:44:02

Be amazing to come here and do something useful.

0:44:110:44:14

You know, like be a teacher or a doctor.

0:44:140:44:18

Yes, well that's what we did originally, of course,

0:44:180:44:22

when we sent the missionaries.

0:44:220:44:24

Yeah, but without meaning to convert people at the same time.

0:44:240:44:29

Yes, well, I think we did a certain amount of good,

0:44:290:44:32

then the French took over.

0:44:320:44:34

Obviously brought a lot of money into the place

0:44:340:44:36

and it's, in a way, it's that money they're missing now.

0:44:360:44:39

It's just a question of whether they'd prefer to have

0:44:390:44:42

the money again or their independence.

0:44:420:44:45

Bit fast, Angus!

0:44:530:44:55

Just going to have to go for it, I'm afraid. No time to stop.

0:44:550:44:58

'They're in a different region now

0:45:160:45:17

'where there's a long-established Chinese community.

0:45:170:45:21

'Originally, they were here to build a railway,

0:45:210:45:24

'but their influence is everywhere.'

0:45:240:45:25

Kind of a little bit incongruous eating Chinese in a little village

0:45:250:45:29

in the middle of Madagascar,

0:45:290:45:31

and quite interesting to see so many Chinese around.

0:45:310:45:34

Chinese faces, more and more as we get closer to Rantabe,

0:45:340:45:37

where we're supposed to be spending tonight.

0:45:370:45:39

Goodness, that's tough!

0:45:390:45:41

Where's the dog? Oh, here's the dog, there you go.

0:45:410:45:44

-Shall we see the wine list?

-Give it a shot.

0:45:440:45:47

Garcon!

0:45:470:45:49

'Still on schedule, the road leads them to a stunning beach

0:45:530:45:57

'that appears to be deserted.'

0:45:570:45:59

Do you feel as if something's suddenly happening here?

0:46:210:46:24

Because we were alone when we arrived

0:46:240:46:27

and now there's about six cars, about 45 people,

0:46:270:46:31

because it's rush hour.

0:46:310:46:33

Yeah.

0:46:330:46:34

That is insane, and they all get into the back bit.

0:46:340:46:37

It is a triumph of numbers over reason.

0:46:370:46:40

I think that's what you'd say.

0:46:400:46:41

'In the confusion, they seem to have lost their place in the queue but

0:46:410:46:46

'it gives them a chance to chat

0:46:460:46:47

'with one of many taxi brousse passengers.'

0:46:470:46:50

20 people inside this.

0:46:510:46:53

It must be like hell.

0:46:530:46:55

No, because I enjoy it.

0:46:550:46:57

-Do you?!

-Yeah.

0:46:570:46:59

You like the ride because everyone's talking to each other?

0:46:590:47:02

Everyone is talking to each other

0:47:020:47:04

and the atmosphere is so alive, you know, inside.

0:47:040:47:07

-20 is insane.

-Yes, that's quite extraordinary.

0:47:070:47:10

-Is there a bridge here?

-Yes, there is a small bridge.

0:47:100:47:13

So what happened to it?

0:47:130:47:16

-Because of the cyclone.

-Oh, the cyclone.

0:47:160:47:19

Will the government fix the bridges sometime

0:47:200:47:24

or is it never going to change?

0:47:240:47:27

You know the government has promised about this,

0:47:270:47:29

about repairing this road

0:47:290:47:31

but up to now we've not seen any concrete result.

0:47:310:47:37

That must make life much more difficult.

0:47:370:47:39

Exactly, the commodities here are very expensive compared to

0:47:390:47:45

the city, to Tana, because of the road.

0:47:450:47:49

OK, guys, we have to go because our boat is ready.

0:47:490:47:51

-Very nice to meet you. Thank you very much.

-Nice to meet you.

0:47:510:47:54

Bon voyage. 20 people!

0:47:540:47:57

If only we could conjure up some of that same excitement.

0:47:570:48:00

Maybe we need another 18 people.

0:48:000:48:02

Well, sadly, this guy has just got off the ferry

0:48:150:48:18

and what's happened to him is exactly what we've been in fear of.

0:48:180:48:21

He's missed the plank.

0:48:210:48:22

Which is he's missed the plank and now he's sunk down in the sand

0:48:220:48:25

and I guess they're going to try and pull him out with the rope

0:48:250:48:29

but it's literally one disaster after another, this road.

0:48:290:48:32

It does appear that way, yeah.

0:48:320:48:33

And we've still got four hours' driving ahead of us

0:48:330:48:36

-and it's going to be dark in an hour.

-Yeah.

0:48:360:48:39

It is literally life or death about 20 times a day.

0:48:390:48:43

Although this is the shortest river crossing they've had to make,

0:48:480:48:51

the hold-up has now cost them the day.

0:48:510:48:53

There's temptation to just floor it

0:48:570:49:00

and get the hell out of Dodge, as they say.

0:49:000:49:03

Half past four.

0:49:030:49:05

I reckon we've got about an hour left.

0:49:050:49:08

We've done a kilometre in minutes there.

0:49:080:49:10

That's probably the first time in two days.

0:49:100:49:13

-Ay, oh.

-Sorry.

0:49:170:49:19

OK, I'm not going to drive across this.

0:49:200:49:23

As light begins to fade,

0:49:250:49:26

Angus and Mariella come across yet another barrier to their progress.

0:49:260:49:31

That's the bridge, well, what's left of the bridge, that I'm not

0:49:310:49:36

going to drive over.

0:49:360:49:38

Angus, want to give it a go?

0:49:380:49:40

Well, let's analyse this, shall we?

0:49:400:49:43

There seem to be two planks for each tyre right until

0:49:430:49:47

right at the end, where there seems to be one plank.

0:49:470:49:50

In some respects, it could be regarded as perilous.

0:49:500:49:53

I am now walking, there's no time for pride.

0:49:530:49:56

Well, if someone was to direct me

0:49:560:50:00

then obviously that'll probably be the only we'd get the car from this

0:50:000:50:03

part to that part otherwise we're going to have to go back to London.

0:50:030:50:08

Did it. I'm alive!

0:50:490:50:52

-Do you want to take over? Do you want me to...?

-I'll take over.

-Yeah.

0:50:550:50:59

Five to five.

0:51:050:51:07

If you get stuck at...

0:51:070:51:08

Twilight.

0:51:080:51:09

..twilight it's just not good any which way you look at it.

0:51:090:51:13

How long did you say we've got left of daylight?

0:51:130:51:15

About an hour.

0:51:150:51:16

Oh, God, I don't know how much more I can take.

0:51:170:51:22

Well, it's late, as you can see. The sun is going down fast

0:51:280:51:32

and we are three hours' drive from where we ought to be

0:51:320:51:37

and we're trying to decide whether or not to stay the night.

0:51:370:51:42

The alternative, obviously, is to keep driving in the darkness

0:51:420:51:45

along roads that we don't know.

0:51:450:51:47

Roads like the ones we've all enjoyed together.

0:51:470:51:51

Yes, only in daylight.

0:51:510:51:53

And we're thinking that might be a recipe for disaster.

0:51:530:51:56

It is now, I think, probably officially dark.

0:52:100:52:13

Angus, what's going on?

0:52:180:52:19

-I wish I knew.

-Where to start?

0:52:220:52:24

-It's a long story.

-Yeah.

0:52:260:52:28

I've got all night, I think.

0:52:290:52:31

I might just take this off first.

0:52:310:52:33

Well, yes, what it is, is that for most of the evening we've

0:52:330:52:40

been travelling in darkness down the roads roughly similar to ones

0:52:400:52:45

that we were travelling in daylight -

0:52:450:52:48

just as bad, in other words -

0:52:480:52:49

and we've come across two places

0:52:490:52:51

where the bridges have basically broken

0:52:510:52:55

so we've had to go round the outside, along the beach in darkness

0:52:550:53:01

as the tide's coming in, and now the latest is that we've found a

0:53:010:53:06

bridge that is completely impassable and probably has been for a while.

0:53:060:53:11

Let's not use the word impassable,

0:53:110:53:13

let's say collapsed.

0:53:130:53:14

Yes, half destroyed. No longer a bridge.

0:53:140:53:17

Angus, what are you doing?

0:53:210:53:25

-Cleaning my teeth.

-We're staying here the night then, are we?

0:53:250:53:28

We're staying here the night. This is our bedroom. This my bed.

0:53:280:53:31

Oh, that looks very snug. Where am I?

0:53:310:53:33

You're in the passenger seat.

0:53:330:53:35

Oh, yeah, that'll be luxury.

0:53:350:53:37

Light yourself. Go on, yeah.

0:53:370:53:40

Can you not do anything? Give me the light then.

0:53:400:53:43

Actually, it's looking a bit Blair Witch now.

0:53:430:53:45

No, but that's the thing - it feels a bit Blair Witch.

0:53:460:53:50

We're stuck in the middle of nowhere. The sea could indeed rise

0:53:500:53:54

even higher and sweep us away in the night, we can't escape,

0:53:540:53:57

the bridge is broken. I don't know how to impress upon you the absolute

0:53:570:54:04

crisis that we're in.

0:54:040:54:05

But Angus and I, we have the secret weapon.

0:54:050:54:08

Dun, dun, dun!

0:54:080:54:11

Rum with vanilla pod.

0:54:110:54:14

NOISILY KISSES BOTTLE

0:54:140:54:17

How much is there?

0:54:170:54:18

That's not what I'll be doing to Angus later, that is

0:54:180:54:21

what I'll be doing to the rum.

0:54:210:54:25

Good night, all.

0:54:250:54:26

Good night.

0:54:260:54:29

The situation seems to have improved somewhat.

0:54:290:54:32

Where's the rum? Not so bad.

0:54:320:54:35

In a way, you know, we've got a beach out there.

0:54:350:54:39

Back in the light, please.

0:54:390:54:42

There's a beach, there are waves, there's rum,

0:54:420:54:44

I have all my friends around me.

0:54:440:54:47

I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be.

0:54:470:54:50

We've woken up to paradise.

0:54:530:54:55

Clearly, last night it didn't feel like it

0:54:550:54:58

in the pitch black with no idea, really, where we were.

0:54:580:55:01

Angus curled up on the seat next to me. It was almost romantic.

0:55:010:55:05

I say almost.

0:55:050:55:07

OK, best press on if we want to get out of here

0:55:070:55:10

at some point in our lives.

0:55:100:55:12

They're now just 65 kilometres from their final destination

0:55:150:55:21

but the road continues to throw up obstacles at every turn.

0:55:210:55:25

Crikey.

0:55:250:55:26

I mean, it's not even an adventure for us any more now cos it's

0:55:490:55:52

got to the point, now, where every bridge we're coming to is broken.

0:55:520:55:56

I think we're going to have to traverse the spit.

0:55:560:56:00

It's really, really hard to fathom just how to difficult

0:56:000:56:05

it must be to lead a life here.

0:56:050:56:07

Do you think there'll be a reception committee when we arrive?

0:56:230:56:26

Yes, I think there will be. The people will line the streets.

0:56:260:56:30

Will there be banners, do you think,

0:56:300:56:32

-saying, "Welcome..."

-"..Mariella and Angus?"

0:56:320:56:34

Or will it be, Angus and Mariella?

0:56:340:56:37

I don't care!

0:56:370:56:38

Oh, OK, Angus and Mariella then.

0:56:380:56:41

What are you looking forward to seeing, mainly?

0:56:410:56:45

The back of you.

0:56:450:56:46

This might be it. I think this might actually be...

0:56:490:56:52

The end of the road. the end of the road.

0:56:520:56:55

-Our destination.

-Oh.

0:56:550:56:56

It's delightful. It's like Henley.

0:56:570:57:00

Hello. Hello, civilisation.

0:57:000:57:05

In the first few hours when we drove out of Tana

0:57:050:57:07

and everything we were talking about Madagascar and the wildlife

0:57:070:57:11

and everything but after we actually hit the difficult

0:57:110:57:14

part of the road, we couldn't think about anything but survival.

0:57:140:57:18

These people don't know what we've been through to get here.

0:57:180:57:21

Do you know what? I think they probably do.

0:57:210:57:23

They probably do actually, yeah.

0:57:230:57:25

There were times I was not sure we were going to make it, but,

0:57:250:57:29

in the end, you look back on it

0:57:290:57:31

and think, "I just had six fantastic days."

0:57:310:57:34

-Well, well done.

-Well done, you.

-No, please.

0:57:350:57:39

I think I'm going to be sad saying goodbye to our Ford Everest.

0:57:390:57:42

It's done us proud. Saved our lives about 20 times every day.

0:57:420:57:47

At last! I'm so excited.

0:57:470:57:50

We made it.

0:57:500:57:52

The images in my head are like from a disaster movie.

0:57:520:57:55

I see seas of red mud.

0:57:550:57:57

Red, glutinous mud.

0:57:570:58:00

Oh, cocktail coconuts.

0:58:010:58:05

I think I described Mariella at the start as being bossy,

0:58:050:58:10

so I'm glad we've had a chance to scotch that rumour.

0:58:100:58:13

We've had a very long journey. We're barely alive.

0:58:130:58:17

If I'm honest, she's very good fun to be with

0:58:170:58:20

and it has been a bit of a hoot over the last five/six days.

0:58:200:58:24

-Cheers again.

-Cheers.

0:58:240:58:26

Yeah. I never actually thought we'd make it.

0:58:260:58:28

He did remain completely unflappable

0:58:280:58:32

and probably had quite a good effect on me

0:58:320:58:35

because I am a flapper, on occasion.

0:58:350:58:39

Aargh!

0:58:390:58:40

Yeah, we just need to be away from each other for another

0:58:400:58:43

two or three years and we'll be ready to be friends again.

0:58:430:58:47

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