CBeebies: A Midsummer Night's Dream

Well, hello there. Great to see you!

I'm William Shakespeare, and as far as I'm concerned,

you can never have too much of a good thing.

You see, my play is about to start.

Well, at least it's supposed to be about to start.

I asked for help to put my play on, but where are they?

Where are my stage crew?

-We're a crew!

-A pirate crew!

-Well, it matters not.

Come in, come in, don't stand on ceremony.

We're looking for Captain Shakespeare, ma'am - I mean, sir.

Well, I'm William Shakespeare.

Did you just say you're...

Sir Shakey Pear, the famous pop star?

HE BEATBOXES

Oh, I love this one! Turn it up!

HE MAKES A 'SCRATCHING' SOUND

I'm William Shakespeare.

-Cake smear?

-Shake-speare!

But...what's in a name?

I don't know. I'm Cook - and I AM a cook.

And I'm Line, and I don't know what I am.

I should send you packing.

-Oh, no, we hardly ever get away from the Scarlet Squid.

-Very well.

Why don't we start again?

Well, hello, there, I'm William Shakespeare.

I'm very, very busy, I'm writing a play here.

-Writing a play?

-Yes, writing a play.

-Do you know what a play is?

-No idea.

# A play is like a story

# Look! I'm writing it down here in this book

# It's a tale of fairies humans and kings

# And lots of other magical things

# He's more clever than he might seem

# And I'm calling it A Midsummer Night's Dream

# Hey nonny-nonny We're a magical team

# Hey nonny-no It's Midsummer Night's Dream

# I've got my play all written down here

# I could read it to myself but I've a better idea

# I'll ask my friends to help me out

# They'll show you what my story's all about

# They'll all get together and pretend to be

-# A king or a fairy...

-Or a donkey!

# They have to remember what they've got to say

# When they do it all together

# You've got a play!

# Hey nonny-nonny We're a magical team

# Hey nonny-no It's Midsummer Night's Dream

# Here's two people that you might know

# They're going to be actors in our show

# Follow me, there's nothing to it

# This is the theatre

# Where we're going to do it

# Now we need some scenery

# To show us where we're supposed to be

# Let's dress them up to look the part

# With some special costumes We can almost start

# There's lots of people in this play

# The Duke of Athens is coming this way

# Hippolyta Queen of the Amazons, too

# What else do we need?

# An audience

# That's you!

# Hey nonny-nonny We're a magical team

# Hey nonny-no It's Midsummer Night's Dream! #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And now our play can begin.

A Midsummer Night's Dream.

Now, fair Hippolyta, our nuptial hour draws on apace.

Four happy days bring in another moon,

but O, methinks, how slow this old moon wanes!

-Why is he speaking like that?

-Well, it's how I write all my plays.

It's Shakespearean. It's dramatic, unique, poetic.

Four days will quickly steep themselves in night.

Four nights will quickly dream away the time.

And then the moon, like to a silver bow new-bent in heaven,

shall behold the night of our solemnities.

Hippolyta! Oh, I will wed thee in another key -

with pomp, with triumph and with revelling!

They're getting married and he's planning a massive party.

Ooh, I love a good party!

Shh! Quiet backstage!

Look, here come the Athenians.

-Atheni-ni-nians?

-Athenians!

That means they live in a city called Athens.

Happy be Theseus, our renowned duke!

Thanks, good Egea. What's the news with thee?

Oh, full of vexations come I, with complaint against my child.

My daughter Hermia.

Stand forth, Demetrius.

This man hath my consent to marry her.

Stand forth, Lysander.

And, my gracious Duke, this man hath bewitched the bosom of my child.

Ooh, she's as moody as Captain Sinker.

That's Egea. She wants her daughter, Hermia, to marry Demetrius.

But Hermia wants to marry HIM, Lysander.

Ooh, that's all a bit of a muddle.

I beg the ancient privilege of Athens, as she is mine,

I may choose for her.

What say you, Hermia?

Be advised, fair maid.

To you, your mother should be as a queen.

Demetrius is a worthy gentleman.

So is Lysander!

In himself he is.

But in this kind, wanting your mother's voice,

the other must be held the worthier.

I would my mother looked but with MY eyes.

Rather your eyes must with her judgment look.

I do entreat your grace to pardon me.

I know not by what power I am made bold, nor how it may

concern my modesty in such a presence here to plead my thoughts.

Relent, sweet Hermia!

And Lysander, yield thy crazed title to my certain right.

You have her mother's love, Demetrius.

Let me have Hermia's.

I must confess that I have heard too much,

my mind being so full of self-affairs.

Demetrius and Egea, go along.

I must employ you in some business against our nuptial

and confer with you.

With duty and with care we follow thee.

Keep promise, love, and if you lovest me,

come steal away with me tomorrow night.

Here comes another Athenian.

God speed, fair Helena! Whither away?

Call you me fair?

That fair again unsay.

Demetrius likes YOUR fair. O happy fair!

Your eyes are lode-stars and your tongue's sweet air,

more tuneable than lark to shepherd's ear.

O, teach me how you look,

and with what art you sway the motion of Demetrius' heart.

Helena wears her heart on her sleeve.

You see, she wants to marry Demetrius.

But doesn't he want to marry the girl with the angry mum?

Hermia? That's right! So it's even more of a pickle now.

I frown upon him, yet he loves me still.

-O, that your frowns could teach my smiles such skill!

-O, take comfort!

He shall no more see my face.

Lysander...

..and myself will fly this place.

And that's our cue.

Scene change!

# It's time for a scene change

# It's time for a scene change

# It's time for a scene change

# What's a scene change? #

Well, let me explain.

# It's when you change the things on stage

# To make it look like somewhere new

# Here's a list upon this page

# Of things I need from both of you

# I need a ladder

# Then a window

# Then a workbench

# And a box

# I need a hammer

# Then a chair

# And a saw

# And a mop! #

What? Well, it's not on the list.

# He needs a ladder Yes, indeed

# Then a window Ooh, that's, ooh

# And a workbench

# And a box

# He needs a hammer Yes, indeed

# Then a chair For sitting

# And a saw Saw, saw, saw

-# And a mop!

-No, wait a minute!

# Pushing, shifting, moving, lifting Pushing, shifting, moving, lifting

# Right, I need a ladder

# Then a window

# Then a workbench

# And a box

# I need a hammer

# Then a chair

# And a saw

-# And a mop! #

-What? No! No mop!

Oh!

Right, come on, off, quickly!

Is all our company here?

You were best to call them generally, man by man,

according to the script.

Here is the scroll of every man's name which is thought fit,

through all Athens, to play in our interlude

before the Duke and the Duchess, on his wedding day at night.

First, good Peter Quince, say what the play treats on,

then read the names of the actors and then grow to a point.

Marry, our play

is the most unhappy comedy of Pyramus, Thisby,

and the lion who thought she was a cat.

Answer as I call you.

Nick Bottom, the weaver.

Ready! Name what part I am for, and proceed.

You, Nick Bottom, are set down for Pyramus.

What is Pyramus?

Is he a kindly man?

"Ah, hello there!

"Such kindness coming from me, kindness from above!"

Or... HE SWISHES

..a tyrant! Ha-ha!

A kindly, who most gallant would marry Thisby.

That will ask for some tears in the true performing of it.

If I do it, let the audience look to their eyes.

I will move storms, I will condole in some measure.

To the rest!

Yet my chief humour is for a tyrant.

-Francis Flute, the bellows-mender.

-Here, Peter Quince!

Flute, you must take Thisby on you.

Ooh, what is Thisby? A wandering knight?

It is the lady that Pyramus marries.

Oh, er, nay.

Faith, let me not play a woman.

I have a beard coming.

That's all one.

You shall play it in a mask, and you may speak as small as you will.

And I may hide MY face!

Let me play Thisby, too!

I will speak in a monstrous little voice.

"Thisne, Thisne."

"Oh, Pyramus, husband dear!"

"Thy Thisby, dear." "And lady dear!" Huh?

No, no, you must play Pyramus, and Flute, you Thisby.

Well, proceed.

Robin Starveling, the tailor.

Here, Peter Quince!

Robin Starveling, you must play the moon.

-Tom Snout, the tinker.

-Here, Peter Quince.

You will be a solid wall.

Myself, Thisby's father.

Snug, the joiner? You, the lion's part.

And I hope here is a play fitted.

Do you have the lion's part written?

Pray you, if it be, give it me, for I am slow of study.

You may play it extempore, for it is nothing but roaring, eh?

BOTTOM ROARS

Let me play the lion, too.

I will roar, that I will make any man's heart good to hear me.

I will roar, that I will make the Duke say,

"Let him roar again, let him roar again!"

If you should do it too terribly, you would fright

all the audience from their seats, that they would shriek!

Well, I will roar for you like a squeaking cat.

Meow, EEK!

Meow, EEK!

You must play no part but Pyramus!

For Pyramus is a sweet-faced man.

Oh, well, I will...!

..undertake it.

Now, what beard were I best to play it in?

Why, what you will.

But masters, here are your parts, and I am to entreat you,

request you, and desire you,

to learn them by tomorrow night then meet me in the palace woods.

I pray you, fail me not.

Wait! Er, Peter Quince!

SHAKESPEARE: And that's them off to the woods to rehearse,

and that's our cue. Scene change!

-BOTH:

-# It's time for a scene change... #

No, no, not every time. Come on! We need to get the woods ready.

Now, these are no ordinary woods.

These are magical woods.

-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

You see, fairies live in these woods.

-Fairies!

-They are magical and can vanish into thin air,

so you have to keep an eye out for them.

Now, our job is done.

We need to get off stage.

Oh, and watch out for Puck.

He's a little bit cheeky.

# Over hill, over dale

# Thorough bush, thorough brier

# Over park, over pale

# Thorough flood, thorough fire

# We do wander everywhere

# Swifter than the moon's sphere

# And I serve the fairy queen

# To dew her orbs upon the green

-# Over hill, over dale

-Over park, over pale

-# Thorough bush, thorough brier

-Thorough flood, thorough fire... #

SHAKESPEARE: Puck, he serves Oberon, the King of the Fairies!

And Fairy, she serves Titania, the Fairy Queen.

# Cowslips tall their pensioners be

# In their gold coats spots you see

# Those be rubies, fairy favours

-# In those freckles

-Live their savours

# Over hill, over dale

# Over park, over pale. #

The king doth keep his revels here tonight.

Take heed the queen come not within his sight,

and now they never meet in grove or green,

by fountain clear or spangled starlight sheen,

but they...do...square,

that every elf for fear

creep into acorn-cups and hide them there.

But, room, fairy! Here comes Oberon.

And here my mistress. Would that he be gone!

SHAKESPEARE: The King and Queen of the Fairies

are so angry with each other

that they can't even stand to be in the same part of the wood.

Ill met by moonlight, proud Titania.

What, jealous Oberon!

Fairies, skip hence.

I have forsworn his sight and company.

Tarry, rash nettle.

Am not I thy lord?

Then I must be thy lady.

How long within this wood intend you stay?

Perchance till after

Theseus' wedding-day.

TITANIA LAUGHS

Fairies, away!

We shall chide downright, if I longer stay.

My gentle Puck, come hither.

Fetch me that flower,

the herb I showed thee once.

The magic of it on sleeping eyelids laid

will make or man or woman

madly dote upon the next live creature that it sees.

Fetch me this herb.

I'll put a girdle round about the earth in 40 minutes.

-COOK:

-Where's Puck going?

-SHAKESPEARE: Don't worry.

Oberon has sent Puck to fetch a magic flower.

He won't be long.

Having once this flower,

I'll watch Titania when she is asleep,

and blow the magic of it in her eyes.

The next thing then she waking looks upon,

she shall pursue it with the soul of love.

Who comes there?

I am invisible and will overhear their conference.

-COOK:

-We should totally go and tell the Fairy King

that two of the Athenenians are in his woods.

-Athenians.

-What are they called again?

That's Demetrius.

And she's the Athenenian that likes him.

Helena. And, no, we don't need to do anything. Just watch.

-DEMETRIUS:

-I love thee not,

therefore pursue me not.

Where is Lysander and fair Hermia?

Thou told'st me they were stolen unto this wood,

and here am I, and wode within this wood,

-because I cannot meet my Hermia.

-SHE KISSES

Hence, get...thee...gone,

and follow me no more.

You draw me, you hard-hearted adamant.

Do I entice you?

Do I speak you fair?

Or, rather, do I not in plainest truth

tell you, I will not, no, I cannot marry you?

And even for that do I love you the more.

Mwah!

Ugh!

I am sad when I do look on thee.

Oh, and I am sad when I look not on you.

I will not stay thy questions. Let me go.

Apollo flies and Daphne holds the chase.

Fare thee well, maiden. Ere he do leave this grove,

thou shalt fly him and he shall seek thy hand.

-We need the flower.

-What flower?

-The prop!

-You want us to hop?

-Time to stop.

-No, the prop!

-Oh, open a shop!

-Need a mop?

-Some slop?

Just fetch me the prop.

Chop chop! Not a hop, a mop, a spinning top,

or a flippety-flippety-flippety-flop.

The things we use in a play are called props.

CASH REGISTER DINGS Oh, there it is.

PUCK: Thanks, Will!

Hast thou the flower there?

Welcome, wanderer.

Ay, here it is.

I pray thee, give it me.

AUDIENCE GASPS

I know a bank where the wild thyme blows.

There sleeps Titania sometime of the night,

lull'd in these flowers with dances and delight.

And with the magic of this I'll stroke her eyes

and make her full of friendly fantasies.

Take thou some of it, and seek through this grove,

a sweet Athenian maiden is in love with a disdainful youth.

Anoint his eyes but do it when the next thing he espies

may be the lady.

Thou shalt know the man by the Athenian garments he hath on.

Fear not, my lord, your servant shall do so.

SHAKESPEARE: Oberon wants to help Helena.

He's sent Puck to use magic on Demetrius

so then he'll want to marry Helena.

So, what's Oberon going to use the magic flower for?

Ah... That's for Queen Titania.

SHE SIGHS

(Ah!)

Come, now a roundel and a fairy song.

Sing me now asleep,

Then to your offices and let me rest.

# You spotted snakes with double tongue

# Thorny hedgehogs, be not seen

# Newts and blind-worms do no wrong

# Come not near our fairy queen

# Philomel, with melody

# Sing in our sweet lullaby

# Lu-lu-lulla, lullaby

# Lu-lu-lulla, lullaby

# Never harm, nor spell nor charm

# Come our lovely lady nigh

# So, good night, with lullaby

# Lu-lu-lulla, lullaby

# Lu-lu-lulla, lullaby. #

Ssh!

Hence, away!

Now all is well.

Ah! My fairy lullaby is excellent for sending people to sleep.

Oi! Wake up!

But Titania is sleeping.

It's all part of the story.

Don't you want to know what happens when the magic works?

-Magic!

-Agh!

-Oh.

What thou seest when thou dost wake,

do it for thy true-love take.

Love and languish for his sake.

Be it ounce, or cat, or bear,

pard, or boar with bristled hair,

in thy eye that shall appear

when thou wakest, it is thy dear.

-Huh! It is the other Athenininians.

-Athenians!

Yeah, I remember, Liquorice and Sherbert.

Nearly. Lysander and Hermia.

Fair love, is it...

Oh, you faint with wandering in the wood.

And, to speak troth, I have forgot our way.

We'll rest us, Hermia, if you think it good,

and tarry for the comfort of the day.

Be it so, Lysander.

Find you out a bed, for I upon this bank will rest my head.

Er... here is my bed?

Good.

Sleep give thee all his rest!

With half that wish the wisher's eyes be press'd!

SHE BLOWS A KISS

Through the forest have I gone.

But Athenian found I none,

on whose eyes I might approve

this flower's force in stirring love.

Night and silence. Who is here?

Weeds of Athens he doth wear.

This is he, my master said,

despised the Athenian maid.

And here the maiden, sleeping sound,

on the dank and dirty ground.

Churl, upon thine eye I throw

all the power this charm doth owe.

When thou wakest, let love forbid,

sleep his seat on thy eyelid.

So, awake when I am gone for I must now to Oberon.

-BOTH:

-Oh, no! He's got the wrong Antheninian!

I know! Brilliant, isn't it?

Who is here?

Lysander? On the ground?

Dreaming? Or asleep?

I see no harm, no wound.

Lysander, if you sleep, good sir, awake.

And run through fire will I for thy sweet sake.

Transparent Helena!

Nature shows art that through thy humour makes me see thy heart.

Where is Demetrius?

O, how fit a word is that vile name leave this world unhurt.

Do not say so, Lysander. Say not so.

What though he love your Hermia?

Lord, what though? Yet Hermia still loves you, then be content.

Content? With Hermia? Her-Hermia? No.

I do repent the tedious minutes that I with her have spent.

Not Hermia but Helena I love.

THEY LAUGH

Wherefore was I to this keen mockery born?

When at your hands did I deserve this scorn?

But fare you well, perforce I must confess

I thought you lord of more true gentleness.

O, that a lady, of one man refused

should of another therefore be so confused!

Shh.

Hermia?

Sleep thou there, and never mayst thou come Lysander near!

Oh! Phew!

All my powers, address your love and might

to honour Helena and to be her knight!

HE NEIGHS

So, Hermia wants to marry Lysander.

Who now wants to marry Helena.

Who wants to marry Demitrius.

-Who wants to marry Hermia.

-Yes! Bedazzling, isn't it?

This is more of a muddle than when three pirates

are looking for a jewel in the ship's mess.

You two! I should write a play just for you!

You have me in stitches!

-Sounds painful.

-'Scuse me, please, Mr Shakespeare.

-It's getting busy in the woods.

-Look, it's time for rehearsals.

Are we all met?

Pat, pat. And what a marvellous convenient place for our rehearsal.

This green plot shall be our stage,

this hawthorn-brake our dressing room,

and we will do it in action as we will do it before the duke.

-Peter Quince.

-What sayest thou, brainy Bottom?

There are things in this comedy of Pyramus and...

-Thisby!

-..Thisby that will never please.

-Will not the audience be afeard of the lion?

-I fear it, I promise you.

THEY GRUNT

There is not a more fearful wild-fowl than your lion living,

and we ought to look to't.

-Therefore a short prologue must tell she is not a lion.

-Nay.

She herself must speak, saying thus,

"If you think I come hither as a lion, I am indeed no such thing.

"I am a lady, as other ladies are."

-Then tell them plainly she is Snug the joiner.

-Well it shall be so.

-Doth the moon shine that night we play our play?

-A calendar.

-A calendar?

-Look to the forecast.

-Find out moonshine.

Find out moonshine.

-Shh!

-THEY GASP

Yes, the moon doth shine that night.

You can never bring in a wall.

-What say you, Bottom?

-Some man or other must present wall.

And let him hold his fingers thus.

And through that cranny shall Pyramus and Thisby whisper.

If that will be, then all is well.

Come, every mother's son and daughter,

and sit down and rehearse your parts. Pyramus, you begin.

When you have spoken your speech, enter into that brake

and so every one according to his cue.

What handsome actors have we swaggering here,

so near the cradle of the fairy queen?

Speak, Pyramus. Thisby, stand forth.

THEY CLEAR THEIR THROATS

Thisby, your perfume... Pah!

You smell of sweets.

-You smell SO sweet.

-Ah. Ahem...

Thisby, your perfume... Pah!

Onions! But hark, a voice!

Stay thou but here awhile and by and by I will to thee appear.

-Must I speak now?

-Ay, marry, must you.

HIGH VOICE: O! Most radiant Pyramus, most lily-white of hue.

Of colour like the red rose on triumphant brier.

As true as truest horse that would never tire.

If I were fair, Thisby, I were only thine.

-Ah!

-Argh!

Bottom's been turned into a donkey! Hee-haw! Hee-haw!

Monstrous! Oh, strange!

We are afeared. Pray, masters!

Fly, masters! Help!

LAUGHTER

Why do they run away?

This is a knavery of them... Hee-haw!

I see their knavery. This is to make an ass of me.

Hee-haw!

# Hum dum diddle Fiddle diddle diddle

# Hum dum diddle dum-dum

# I'm not afraid

# They can't scare me

# It won't do them any good

# Because I know I'm not afraid

# There are lots of animals that live in the woods

# There are

# Ants and butterflies

# Worms and caterpillars Mice and squirrels

# And more by far

# There's snails and ladybirds Badgers and nightingales

# And the fairies that live in the wood

# Tra-la

# Hum dum diddle Fiddle diddle diddle

# Hum dum diddle Dum-dum

# There are foxes and centipedes Robins and parakeets

# Rabbits and millipedes And more by far

# There's pigs and elephants Cows and kangaroos

# And don't forget the fairies that live in the wood

# Tra-la

# I'm not afraid I'm feeling good

# With all these animals here in the wood

# There are horses and wildebeest

# Bears and wallabies Tigers and gorillas

# And more by far

# Buffalos, dinosaurs Triceratops, tyrannosaurs

# We hate to bring it up again But think you are forgetting

# The fairies that live in the wood Tra-la

# Hum dum diddle Fiddle diddle diddle

# Hum dum diddle Hee-haw! #

What angel wakes me from my flowery bed?

I pray thee, gentle mortal, sing again.

Mine ear is much enamour'd of thy note.

So is mine eye enthralled to thy shape.

And thy fair virtue's force perforce doth move me

on the first view to say, to share, I love thee.

Ah! The first thing she seen is that Bottom what turned into a donkey!

Oberon is going to be so pleased! Hasn't Puck played a great trick?

Actually, I think this is my favourite part.

Methinks, mistress, you should have little reason for that.

And yet, to say the truth,

reason and rank keep little company together nowadays.

The more the pity that some honest men may not call them friends.

Thou art as wise as thou art beautiful.

Not so neither. Phhht!

SHE LAUGHS

But if I had wit enough to get out of this wood,

I have enough to serve mine own turn.

Out of this wood do not desire to go.

Thou shalt remain here, whether thou wilt or no.

And I do need thee!

Therefore, go with me. I'll give thee fairies to attend on thee,

and they shall fetch thee jewels from the deep and sing

while thou on pressed flowers dost sleep.

Peaseblossom! Cobweb! Moth!

And Mustardseed!

-Ready!

-And I.

-And I.

-And I.

ALL: Where shall we go?

Be kind and courteous to this gentleman.

Hop in his walks and gambol in his eyes.

Feed him with apricocks and dewberries,

with purple grapes, green figs, and mulberries.

Nod to him, elves, and do him courtesies.

-Hail, mortal.

-Hail.

-Hail.

-Hail!

-I beseech your worship's name.

-Cobweb.

-Peaseblossom.

-Moth.

-BOTH: Mustardseed.

Come, wait upon him.

Lead him to my bower.

SHE GIGGLES

King Oberon, welcome.

I wonder if Titania be awaked

and what it was that next came in her eye?

-I hear my messenger.

-HE LAUGHS

My mistress with a donkey is in love.

THEY LAUGH

Where in that moment, so it came to pass,

Titania waked and straightway befriends an ass.

And hast thou yet latch'd the Athenian's eyes

with the magic, as I did bid thee do?

I took him sleeping. That is finish'd too.

And the Athenian woman by his side,

that, when he waked, of force she must be eyed.

Stand close - this is the same Athenian.

This is the woman, but not this the man.

-O, why rebuke you him that loves you so?

-My Lysander. Where is he?

Ah, good Demetrius, wilt thou give him me?

He is asleep, for aught that I can tell.

I pray thee, tell me he is well.

And if I could, what should I get therefore?

A privilege never to see me more.

And from thy horrid presence part I so.

There is no following her in this fierce vein.

Here therefore for a while I will remain.

What hast thou done?

Thou hast mistaken quite and laid the love-juice

on some true-love's sight.

About the wood go swifter than the wind,

Helena of Athens look thou find,

by some illusion see thou bring her here.

I'll charm his eye against she do appear.

I go. I go. See how I go. Swifter than an arrow from a Tartar's bow.

Flower of this purple dye, hit with Cupid's archery

when thou wakest, if she be by, beg of her for remedy.

Captain of our fairy band, Helena is here at hand.

And the youth, mistook by me, pleading for a lover's fee.

Shall we their fond pageant see?

Lord, what fools these mortals be!

Stand aside. The noise they make may cause Demetrius to awake.

I had no judgment when love in her I saw.

Nor none in my mind, now you give her o'er.

Demetrius loves her, and he loves not you.

O Helena!

Goddess, maiden, perfect, divine!

To what, my love, shall I compare thine eyne? Crystal is muddy.

O, how ripe in show thy lips, those ruby cherries, sweetly grow!

O spite! O fie.

I see you both are bent to set against me for your merriment.

If you were civil and knew courtesy,

you would not do me thus much injury.

Can you not scorn me, as I know you do,

but you must join in souls to mock me too?

If you were men, as men you are in show,

you would not use a gentle lady so.

Thou art not by mine eye, Lysander, found.

Mine ear, I thank it, brought me to thy sound.

But why unkindly didst thou leave me so?

Why should he stay, whom love doth press to go?

-What love could press Lysander from my side?

-Fair Helena.

Who more engilds the night than all you fiery oes and eyes of light.

You know not what you say. It cannot be.

-Watch this.

-Why the knitted brows?

-LINE:

-This muddled mess isn't funny any more.

-COOK:

-Yeah, they're all saying really mean things to each other.

SHAKESPEARE: Oh, aye. It is indeed a merry mess.

Now Oberon will make this muddle less.

This is thy negligence, still thou mistakest.

Or else committ'st thy knaveries wilfully.

Forgive me, King of Shadows, I mistook.

Oh...

When they next wake, all this derision

shall seem a dream and fruitless vision.

On the ground sleep sound.

When thou wakest,

thou takest true delight

in the sight of thy former lady's eye.

And all...shall...be...

..well.

# It's just like magic

# Come what may.

# I can make it happen in my play

# It's just like magic

# For goodness' sake

# It only needs a little give and take.

# Who would imagine that a Fairy Queen

# Would want a donkey on her fairy team?

# It's most unusual and it goes to show

# That the magic of the theatre makes it so. #

Sleep thou, and I will wind thee in my arms.

Fairies, away! And be always away.

# It's just like magic

# Come what may

# I can make it happen

# In my play

# It's just like magic

# For goodness' sake

# It only needs a little give and take

# King Oberon was only trying to do some good

# But Lysander fell for Helena in the wood.

# The King meant for Demetrius all along

# But naughty Puck he got the spell all wrong

# It's just like magic

# Come what may

# I can make it happen in my play

# It's just like magic for goodness' sake

# It only needs a little give and take. #

One, two, three, and blow.

The magic is done.

Oh, Oberon! What visions have I seen!

Methought I was enamour'd of an ass.

There lies your love.

Oh!

Sound, music!

Come, my queen, take hands with me,

and rock this ground whereon these sleepers be.

Now, thou and I are new in amity,

and will, tomorrow midnight,

solemnly dance in Duke Theseus' house triumphantly.

Fairy king, attend, and mark.

I do hear the morning lark.

Come, my lord, and in our flight, tell me how it came this night

that I sleeping here was found

with these mortals on the ground.

Nice job, fairies!

Yeah, you're so-o-o great. Put it there!

Put it there!

Oh, can we go and wake the Atheninians?

Athenians! And, no, the Duke Thesius is going to do that now.

But, soft! What folk are these?

My lord, this is my daughter here asleep.

And this, Lysander.

This, Demetrius is.

And Helena, old Nedar's Helena.

I wonder at their being here together.

Trumpets, wake them with your horns.

TRUMPETS SOUND

Good morrow, friends.

I know you two are rival enemies.

How comes this gentle concord in the world?

My lord, I shall reply amazedly.

Half sleep, half waking,

but, as yet, I swear, I cannot truly say how I came here.

Enough, enough, my lord! You have enough!

My lord, the object and the pleasure of mine eye,

is only Helena.

Like in sickness, did I refuse this food.

But, as in health, come to my natural taste,

now I do wish it,

love it, care for it,

and will for evermore be true to it.

Yay! He wants to marry Helena!

And she wants to marry Hermia!

You are fortunately met.

Of this discourse we more will hear anon.

Egea, I will overbear your will for in the temple by and by

with us these couples shall eternally be knit.

Away with us to Athens, three and three.

We'll hold a feast in great solemnity.

Come, Hippolyta.

LAUGHTER

He did bid us follow to the temple!

Let's follow him, and, by the way, let us recount our dreams.

Oh! They are all getting married!

Yippee!

I have had a dream.

Past the wit of man to say what dream it was.

Man is but an ass. Wuh...

Methought I was a...

..and methought I had...

I will get Peter Quince to write a ballad of this dream.

It shall be called Bottom's Dream!

LAUGHTER

I have just the beard, a luxuriant one.

-BOTH:

-We pirates are ready to par-tay!!

Here come the couples full of joy and mirth.

Come now, let's have a play!

Ssh! Ssh!

If we offend, it is with our good will,

that you should think we come not to offend, but with good will.

To show our simple skill, that is the true beginning of our end.

The actors are at hand and by their show,

you shall know all that you are like to know.

Our play.

Here is Thisby and the very strange pet.

Meow!

One they conspired to keep a secret.

In this part of the play it doth befall that I,

one Snout by name, presenteth a wall.

This lanthorn doth my horned moon present.

Myself the man in the moo-oon do seem to be.

Here, Thisby heard a strange sound.

But what could it be?

They searched all around.

'Twas a rumbling purr. Soft, like a cat.

And they'd always wanted a pet to pat.

Meow!

Through a chink in the wall they saw a tail flick.

They climbed over that wall ever so quick.

Ever, ever so quick.

They followed that purr and found, sure enough,

a soft lion cub...cat! Resplendent in fluff.

Pyramus and Thisby brought that cat up, giving it sweet cakes...

Yum, yum, yum!

And warm milk to suck.

Schlup!

And one night when the moon was full fat,

she saw, she shone on a lion not a cat.

The moon said,

"Just try and roar once and I'm sure you'll find

"that being a pet is not for your kind".

The timid lion coughed and opened her mouth.

You can't believe what great sound came out.

Roar!

LOUD ROARING

She bid her best friends a farewell, fond adieu,

leapt over the wall for a life that's free and true.

And that is... The end.

APPLAUSE

Well walled, wall!

Well shone, moon!

Truly the moon shone with a good grace.

Would it please you to see the epilogue

or to hear a Bergomask dance?

-ALL:

-DANCE!

Come, come!

MUSIC PLAYS

JOYFUL MUSIC

If we shadows have offended, think but this, and all is mended.

That you have but slumbered here while these visions did appear.

And this weak and idle theme, no more yielding but a dream.

Children, do not reprehend.

If you pardon, we will mend.

So, goodnight unto you all.

Give us your hands, if we be friends,

and Robin shall restore amends.

# Hey, nonny-nonny! We're a magical team

# Hey, nonny-no, it's Midsummer Night's Dream

# Now we come to the end of our show, so thank you everyone

# We hope you enjoyed our magical play and now what's done is done

# Everything came out as planned

# It was all right in the end

# Out into a brave new world

# I hope you'll stay my friends

# Hey, nonny-nonny we're a magical team

# Hey, nonny-no it's Midsummer Night's Dream. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE