Episode 8 Airmageddon

Welcome to Airmageddon, the final heat before the semifinals.

Four teams and their hi-tech drones face three aerial trials.

Each game, one team will be grounded

and just one team will thrust, yaw and zap their way into the semis.

But it's not just the other aces they face.

A fleet of feisty resident drones,

including WASP,

DRAGON,

and the GUARD.

So just who will fly through to the semis?

Aviators, wingmen,

prepare yourselves for a half-hour of rotoristic, quadtastic power.

-This is Airmageddon.

-Yes!

Welcome to Flight Airmageddon,

your transatlantic trip of a lifetime.

Our cruising altitude will be over-the-top

and you can expect some mild turbulence during the exciting bits.

Oxygen masks will be deployed in the event of an emergency.

And exits can be found here, here and here.

But you won't be going anywhere,

not when you've got three rounds of drone-on-drone action to enjoy

as part of your in-flight entertainment.

Let's meet our aviators.

Please welcome out our teams for this final heat.

First up, it's Team Vertigo in red.

The Falcon Brothers in yellow.

Suffolk Air Squad in green.

And Team Quadrasoar in blue.

They're always confident at the start, but it never lasts.

It doesn't, but those are our teams and, first up, it's Team Vertigo

who'll be showing us what they're made of up there

with some precision flying against the clock.

Yep, and to show them the way,

here's our PIG - Personalised Interactive Gyrocopter.

Take it away, PIG.

Aviators beware. One lap of this air assault course

is trickier than a magician's sleeve.

If you beat it, you must be some kind of flying sorcerer.

Four rotor-snagging gates. Three Hurdles of Horror.

Two Pillars of Precision.

One windy Vortex.

And a vicious drone awaiting all who dare enter the air-ena.

Beware of nerves,

or you'll end up slower than a herd of snails in peanut butter.

Of course, PIG makes it look easy,

but that couldn't be further from the truth,

and to turn something that's difficult

into something that's almost impossible,

let's see who'll be up there with them

from amongst our resident drones.

'It's the DRAGON.'

No, it's not your school headmistress, but almost as scary.

It's the Direct Response Aerial Gyrocopter, DRAGON.

One blast from his breath and you'll say goodbye

to your drone's fancy paint job.

First to tackle the air assault course is Team Vertigo.

12-year-old hat-loving Oscar is our aviator.

He's helped by wing-mum Tanya.

Oscar has a 3-D printer at home

and he made his snazzy drone's design with it.

Let's hope it comes with some serious UV protection.

So, you guys are up first.

Do you reckon that's going to be an advantage, or maybe a disadvantage?

I think it's probably going to be an advantage, cos we'll set the pace

and we won't have to painfully wait for other people to finish.

Yeah, you just fly your own race and then you're the ones to beat.

Tanya, have you been practising your wing-mum strategy?

The strategy is "don't say too much".

-Oh, really?

-Yes, definitely.

-Has that come from the top?

Sort of. For certain challenges, yes.

But for certain challenges, we'll be talking a lot.

OK. Aviators, stand by.

Welcome to our cauldron of dreams here in the air-ena.

Welcome to the DRAGON's den, if you like.

And good morning, Air Marshall. How are you?

DISTORTED ELECTRONIC VOICE

Your voice chip sounds a little croaky, sir.

'Affirmative.

'Lift-off, three, two, one.'

Air Marshall sounded a little hoarse.

Very confident throttle up there from Oscar.

If Oscar flies half as cool as he looks,

I think this could be a good run.

Nice, Oscar. Nice and steady.

He is, indeed, a cool customer.

-Mind the gap as you take that first gate.

-Go down, down.

Keen photographer Tanya

keeping Oscar focused on the mission at hand.

Vertigo take on the Hurdles of Horror. They show no mercy!

But they're through.

Hip, hip, hooray!

-Perfect.

-Looking pretty good as they bank towards the second gate.

Well done. Nice.

Nice indeed. Now to the ancient Pillars of Precision.

They've stood here testing drone pilots for many days.

Pretty cool. Pretty confident. Pretty smooth.

'Warning. System malfunction. Air Marshall down.'

It's unbelievable, the Air Marshall's down.

Perhaps he did have a virus.

Our antique adjudicator of the air,

aka the Lyrical Linesman himself, has stooped it.

Poor old Air Marshall's making a habit of this.

It's not the first time he's had a funny turn, you know.

-OK, let's do this.

-OK, OK. Yeah.

Well, on to the Vortex. Oscar did well to keep cool there.

This Vortex, so vicious,

it makes a hurricane look like a warm summer's breeze.

But can he pass the lurking DRAGON?

Ooh, he pinches through the final gate.

The DRAGON'S getting fired up.

Beautiful!

Can they pass?

Too hot to trot.

The only thing old draggy-poos can do is watch.

Oscar sets the pace. A brilliant time.

1.16.

Not even letting our malfunctioning Air Marshall put him off.

He'll be in the best hands possible.

PIG'll be there with his ham-bulance in just a second.

Vertigo, amazing. High-five.

That seemed like it went really smoothly for you.

-I think it did. It went very well.

-Yeah? 1.16. Happy with the time?

1.16, yeah. I think that's quite good. I'm pleased with it.

I'll tell you, it's very good.

Second up, it's the Falcon Brothers.

Throttle demon Luke is our aviator, and his wingman, brother James.

I guess they don't have a 3-D printer like Oscar,

but looks aren't always everything.

That's what my mum tells me, anyway.

Luke, now, you're a sports guy.

What kind of skills can you bring from the sporting arena

to this air-ena?

Well, I'm very competitive, so...

Not too competitive, wingman James?

Well, he does get a bit competitive sometimes,

so I have to dial him down a bit, keep him calm, collected,

-and then we can win this.

-Exactly! Cool your jets, buster.

If you're too competitive, you might crash out, and we don't want that.

-All right, are you ready?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

All right, then, aviators, stand by.

With the Air Marshall in A&E,

the DRAGON will be controlling the air-ena skies on his own now.

Falcon brothers could be toasted marshmallow at the end of this.

-And they're up.

-And they throttle away.

Team Vertigo look on with Rach.

The Falcon brothers don't know the previous time.

Well, Luke and James, quite the rugby players, I hear.

-Scrum down, fellas.

-Now down, down. Down we go.

Slowly. Keep going.

Right, now we're down, we're down. Careful.

Looking a little shaky there going through the hurdles.

There we go. Now up. Up. Oh, careful, watch out.

Ooh, he's hit one.

He throttled up a bit early and struck the hurdle.

This falcon's had its wings clipped good and proper.

Higher.

That could spell the end for these two, but they valiantly carry on,

pitching into gate two.

That was closer than two coats of paint.

Watch out, watch out.

Falcon brothers are way out of control here.

The wingman's comments are about as useful as an inflatable dartboard.

-That's fine.

-I don't think it's fine.

The antique adjudicator isn't here to warn them. They're going wide.

Guys!

Oh, no!

You can see the props got busted up as he hit the wall,

sending the drone into an uncontrollable spin.

There was nothing they could do but watch and enjoy

as they hurtled to the air-ena floor at near terminal velocity.

Well, that's an exaggeration, but that will hurt.

Anyone know a good body shop you can recommend?

'What a crash. Scores confirmed.'

What a crash, indeed.

That did-not-finish puts the Falcon brothers in the drop zone.

Vertigo on top. Two teams still to come.

Just talk me through what happened.

When we went under the second hurdle, I hit it,

and then it was fine for a tiny bit,

and then it suddenly just went out of control.

That's probably where the propeller broke

and then you just lost control.

-Do you think that's what happened?

-Yeah.

-Do you think it was down to nerves?

-A bit. Yeah.

Well, as it stands, it's not definite that you're out,

because we've got two more teams to go, obviously,

and anything can happen.

And he who dares, wins.

Next up the SAS - not the Scandinavian Airline Service,

the Suffolk Air Squad.

11-year-old Guy is our aviator, and his wingman, his dad Richard.

We hear Guy's a quick learner.

Let's hope he's learned what goes up should stay up.

So, the Suffolk Air Squad,

SAS, I notice that you put after your team name.

-And you're in military fatigues.

-Yeah.

Do you reckon you can bring some military precision to this game?

-Definitely.

-Yeah?

I was trying to think of a sort of SAS-based pun earlier

and I couldn't, and then you got one.

What's your team motto?

-Who airs wins.

-Who airs wins!

He's a comedy genius, and let's see how he flies.

All right, guys, aviators, stand by.

Now, the SAS don't know what happened to the previous pair,

probably for the best.

I'm still catching my breath from it.

Talking of breath, old draggy-poos is lingering at the end, awaiting.

That's the signal, and the Suffolk Air Squad are away.

What can they do?

That's nice. Work your way round, work your way round.

Special air mission.

Pitching forward to the first gate.

-Through no problem.

-Brilliant. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

Changing altitude at the Hurdles of Horror with ease.

Wait. Going up.

He makes them look like the Hurdles of Happiness. Nicely done.

Guy is aggressive, yawning his drone around, going for gate two.

-Right... Going down.

-Going down.

Try to orientate. Line it up first, Guy.

He just sort of let himself just drop out of the sky,

but it was quick.

Yes, indeed, Will.

That tactic worked nicely, and they're past

where the Falcon brothers crashed out.

Now, to the vicious Vortex.

Bit more, bit more, bit more, bit more.

Now straight up, straight up. Straight up.

No problemo with the Vortex.

Now, can they beat the DRAGON?

He's ready to huff and puff,

but if you want to be the man,

you must beat the drone.

Go, go, go, go, go. Great round, mate.

Guy does it. He leaves the DRAGON "drone alone".

Guy was a bit shaky going into the Vortex, but held his nerve.

He embarrassed the DRAGON by flying past him like he wasn't there.

'Scores...'

That controlled flight from Guy

sees the Suffolk Air Squad in second place,

behind Team Vertigo, who are on top.

The Falcon brothers might be the ones getting grounded.

They're in the drop zone.

-How was that for you?

-That was the scariest thing.

Maybe we have Scary Safe Suffolk Air Squad.

I thought you did really well.

Richard, wingman, did you provide a lot of help out there?

Well, not sure about much help, but, yes, just a few words

of encouragement, but I think I was more nervous than Guy.

Our final guns for aerial punishment are Team Quadrasoar.

Aviator Rohith at the controls, brother Sid his wingman.

Rohith likes to go gliding in his spare time.

Sounds dangerous to me.

I prefer Twister with the Air Marshall.

So, you're last up, last to go.

That's a big challenge, book-ending this one.

-Do you reckon you're up for it?

-Yeah, I think so.

I think we have as much of a chance as any other of the teams.

You certainly do,

and you're definitely the smiliest contestant we've had so far

so you're making the whole thing enjoyable.

All right, let's see how you get on. Aviators, stand by.

Well, smiles won't help you when you're facing this beast.

He doesn't have the brain capacity for niceties.

If brains were dynamite, he couldn't blow his nose!

But he might torch the paint off your drone.

BUZZING SOUND

Up throttle, Quadrasoar!

Steady.

-Now, how quick will these boys go?

-Slow down, slow down.

Only three teams progress.

They have no idea, of course, how the others did.

Steady start so far.

OK. OK, come this way a bit, don't go too far.

Yeah, not too fast.

Very steady.

Indeed. Steady Eddie Rohith.

Too steady.

Go back a bit. I think you need to go back a bit.

-Go back.

-Careful.

-Goodness me!

-He still didn't need it.

Try and centre yourself, go towards the middle a bit more.

-The wingman's getting involved a lot here.

-Yeah.

Yes, well, I think you're going to miss the manicure.

Go this way, so this isn't...

Behave.

So, into the vortex...

Yeah, below the red.

OK, now straight up.

Before it's DRAGON'S bedtime anyway.

By this one!

If there was a prize for control, they'd win, for sure.

But that's not what it's all about. It's a time trial, fellas.

Faster, faster!

The DRAGON's even trying to speed them along.

Ah!

OK, DRAGON, off to bed, big boy. Beaten again.

Well, check out this go-steady gliding by our gliders.

We didn't even have to use slow motion, that was real time.

A job well done.

'Airsault times confirmed.'

It's Team Vertigo who bossed it. The Air Marshall, he lost it.

Suffolk Air Squad, unbelievably through with Quadrasoar.

Sadly the Falcon Brothers are grounded.

You're through to the next round, how does it feel?

Really good.

I tried to keep myself calm so I wouldn't do anything risky.

Yeah? You kept yourself very calm. You didn't take any risks,

-although you did kind of come quite close to one of the hurdles.

-Yeah.

-How was that for you?

-Yeah, it was good.

I was trying to get him a bit more competitive,

more excited, but I liked how calm he was.

Yeah. Word of advice, in the next round,

-you might need to have a little bit more urgency, shall we say...

-Sure.

..because there are some quick teams out there.

But you made it, you're through.

Well done, Quadrasnore... Quadrasoar.

WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE

So we do know that means that unfortunately, Falcon Brothers,

you are officially grounded.

Thank you so much, you were great.

So we started with four teams and now we've lost one of them,

which under normal circumstances would be careless,

but there's nothing normal about these circumstances.

Teams of aviators competing with customised drones

could never be described as normal.

Neither can a flying pig.

PIG, what are our surviving teams facing next?

Time to pull in the pork.

It's Piggy.

Our aviators have customised their drones

with powerful paintball projectors.

They must use these to hit their row of targets

and score as many points as possible.

Three points for hitting the red, two for the white

and one for the black.

Communication is key, as the wingman is activating the projector.

But remember, you can only hit each target a maximum of two times.

Team Vertigo. Oscar, how are you feeling about this?

In fact, actually, you know what?

I'm going to ask your wing-mum how she's feeling,

because, I don't mean to worry you,

but this game is probably the one in which the wing-mum,

dad, man, woman plays the biggest part, plays the biggest role.

Nerve-wracking.

Well, we did all right in the last one, surprisingly.

I think we were pretty on target, so I feel confident.

That's good because this time it's all about being on target.

-Yeah.

-All right? Good stuff. SAS.

Funny guy Guy over there, are you excited?

Yeah, definitely.

Yeah? You look excited. How are you feeling about it, wing-dad?

A bit nervous, as I've got a part to play this time.

Yeah? Is your trigger finger ready and waiting?

Yeah, raring to go.

-Itching.

-Itching.

-All right. OK, and now, Quadrasoars.

Now, you were undoubtedly the slowest in the airsault course

but you were very precise,

so do you think this challenge could suit your flying style?

Well, it's definitely better for us,

cos we're more about precision rather than speed.

I think the same with my wingman.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

All right, then. Well, let's see how it goes.

-Are we ready, guys?

-ALL: Yeah.

All right, then. Aviators, stand by.

Fire up your motors.

Rev up your rotors.

You're clear for take-off.

Why, thank you, Will. Yes, The Wasp is in on this game.

Good to see the Air Marshall back from the drone hospital.

Welcome back, sir.

'Systems back up to 100%.'

-Are you sure, sir?

-'Affirmative.'

Marvellous. Then we shall begin.

'Calibrate your projectors.

'Lift-off in three, two, one...'

And off go our teams,

competing for those two places in the dog-fight.

Drones with paintball projectors. I love it!

Everyone seems to have sussed out that this is all about being

slow, being steady, being still and getting those targets.

Yeah, like, whatever, Will. It's about going fast!

Who's going to get the first one?

Up, up, up. A bit more up.

On board with Team Vertigo.

Great shot! Two points. Try another.

Did it hit?

No, it missed. It was close, though.

This is a serious challenge.

All the teams have to fly their drones nose-left.

Who knows what that means?

Whoa!

Oh, Guy's in trouble.

He's clipped the targets.

Hits it, sends the drone in a spin.

He's done a great job getting that back under control.

Come back towards the number two, come back towards number two.

I can't...see!

I advise an optometrist. Or keep your eyes open.

Quadrasnore... They're going backwards.

Interesting tactics, fellas.

Hey, watch the drone. Don't watch the TV.

'Warning. Erratic flying.'

Erratic flying? You can talk, Air Marshall, after your earlier antics.

'Affirmative.'

Quadrasoar are back up, though.

Two of them still to score anything.

Close from the SAS.

Fire, fire, fire. Now!

No, you're just... Back a bit, back a bit.

Now.

Winner winner, chicken dinner. It's a hit.

Can Quadrascore soar?

I mean, can Quadrasoar score?

Watch...watch the drone, watch the drone.

'Warning, control...'

-The Air Marshall looks worried.

-Come back.

Ooh, the Blues clip the target. Can they recover?

No. Quadrasoar are going down.

Quadrasoar's down.

It looks like certain extinction for Quadrasoarus.

Just getting a little too up close and personal with the target.

'Drone unrecoverable.'

It is unrecoverable. So's my career.

It's not shooting.

Oh, yes it is. Great shot.

Two more points.

Well done.

Vertigo and Suffolk Air Squad battling for the advantage

in the dog-fight.

Now, now, now, now.

On board with Suffolk Air Squad here.

Ooh, they've hit the target, they're down.

They've hit it again.

It's OK. It's OK.

The Greens are in a world of hurt, and there's no way out.

'Motor damage. Drone unairworthy.'

Something's hanging off.

Something's dangling.

'Suffolk Air Squad, land immediately.'

Shall I land?

Yeah.

'Drone too dangerous to fly.'

Oh, it's not that bad. It's a mere flesh-wound.

It's been absolute chaos out there.

Chaos is the word.

We told you it was a tough game, and The Wasp likes to make it crazier.

Don't worry, it's all right.

No need to worry, Greens, you'll still be going on to the dog fight.

You can see his drone took two big hits. It always hurts.

It's just you, Vertigo.

Oh, it is, and that's two teams down.

Hey, get out of my way.

What's the Air Marshall up to?

He needs to get that circuit board checked.

I'm going again.

No, we're done, aren't we?

Let's try again.

So, it's just the Reds left alone. They're on eight.

The Greens two, we know the Blues on zero are out.

Good, we've still got them. Still got them.

This is great shooting from Vertigo.

Just magnificent. Double figures.

This is just showboating.

Oh, I think we're out. I think we're out.

Paint the town red, Oscar.

'All paint has been projected. Please land.'

What drama. Quadrasoar crashing out early on.

Suffolk Air Squad getting in on the crashing act too.

And that left Vertigo to go splat-tastic unchallenged.

'That was carnage.'

Carnage indeed, Air Marshall.

Final scores, so Team Vertigo on 13,

they get the five-second advantage in the dogfight.

SAS, they scored just two before crashing out.

But it's mothballs for Quadrasoar.

Thank you, Air Marshall, well, that is pretty conclusive.

Quadrasoars, unfortunately you guys, as you knew, didn't get any

and you are grounded.

But can I just say, you are the smiliest aviator

we've ever had on the show, and you still seem pretty chuffed.

Did you have a good time?

Yeah, it was really fun. We both had a good time.

We learnt quite a bit about how to fly these massive drones.

So, good luck to you guys as well.

Can we have a round of applause for the greatest sports ever.

Well done, guys, you were brilliant competitors.

So, that means that SAS and Vertigo, you guys are both through.

Well done. You did get some points on the board

but Vertigo, Oscar, you're going through to the dogfight

with the time advantage because you won that round.

It all comes down to this.

One final drone-on-drone battle for victory.

Our two teams have been training,

preparing, psyching themselves up for this their whole lives,

so no pressure then. It's time for the dogfight.

Well, you're right about one thing, Will, this is no doubt

the greatest moment of their lives.

It's certainly mine and I know it's yours.

It's a performance, a lot like opera,

but without all that annoying singing.

Plus we have lasers.

Anyway, this is what you do, you zap the other dude.

Take him out first and you get the ticket to the semis.

So this is it.

Our two remaining teams are about to battle it out in search of glory

but who's going to be joining them in the Combat Zone?

'The WASP.'

..Or weaponised assault ship. He makes a hornet look cuddly.

He's as yellow as mustard, and with twice the bite.

Guess who his favourite singer is? Justin Bieber.

Ha! No, Sting! Ha-ha, ha-ha!

Now remember, guys, if you stray from the combat zone,

our resident drones will engage.

And that is not something we recommend. Are your teams ready?

-ALL:

-Yeah.

Excellent. All right then. For the last time, aviators, stand by.

Ah, the Air Marshall's joined us.

The old chap's in fine fettle, I hope.

You know, he's old enough to remember the Dead Sea

when it was just sick.

WASP is buzzing with anticipation.

Let's hope the Air Marshall is still feeling up for it.

'Aviators, stand by.'

These guys look about as nervous as a couple of turkeys at Christmas.

'Vertigo, lift-off in three, two, one.'

Vertigo throttle off first, a five-second advantage, remember,

from game two. That'll be all important.

They go through the gate and activate their lasers.

'Lift-off, Suffolk Air Squad.'

Guy throttles away.

'Suffolk Air Squad, targeting systems activated.'

Look where you're pointing, which way are you pointing?

Cautious start from both teams.

Guy needs to yaw his drone to face vertigo.

Vertigo grab their chance and zap away. Holy zap-oly!

They miss.

Shoot, shoot, shoot.

Saying it three times is always the best way to give an order.

Shoot. Constantly shoot.

Tanya zapping away, just as Oscar demands.

They've locked on but miss again.

It's like a jungle out there.

Shoot, shoot, shoot.

Well, actually it's just a warehouse in Sidcup.

Suffolk Air Squad fire away. They've zapped Team Vertigo.

'Strike red team.'

-Way to go.

-'Three lives remaining.'

-Shoot.

That was a great first strike. They're coming back for more.

-Air Marshall keeping a high altitude.

-Shoot, shoot, shoot.

Watch yourself old boy. Vertigo banks to the left, they get hit.

Cracking strike by Suffolk Air Squad.

'Strike, Red team. Two lives remain.'

Well done, the SAS. Richard's firing away.

They strike again.

Wow, I don't believe it! Two hits in two seconds.

That's almost one in one second.

Oh, I'm hearing in my ear,

two in two seconds really is one every second.

Vertigo are three down. Vertigo are three down.

-Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.

-I am.

Tanya's desperately trying to zap away. And Vertigo strike.

-Bravo!

-They've got one back.

'Green team, three lives remain.'

Well, the SAS came flying towards Vertigo to finish it

but got zapped instead.

Could Vertigo pull this back?

WASP flying around the no-fly zone there.

-Go.

-Keep going.

-If it's a no-fly zone, why's he in it?

-Now.

-Ooh, close shave there.

-Shoot.

-Another miss.

Brilliant flying, Guy. Brilliant flying. Brilliant.

-Vertigo are going to have to be very careful now.

-Shoot.

They do, Will. One strike and they're out.

Can they pull off a miraculous comeback?

'Strike, Green team.'

-Maybe they can.

-'Two lives remain.'

They've zapped the SAS.

Vertigo, hold it steady, the SAS fly into range, zap. It's 3-2.

-Keep going, mate. Keep going, mate.

-This is so tense.

-This is close. This is close.

-This is really tense.

-Surely...

-Shoot.

..he can't lose this lead. Stop calling yourself "Shirley" on air.

The SAS fire and strike. They've hit!

'Red team, zero lives remaining.'

I won!

Unbelievable!

'Dogfight over. Dogfight over.'

Vertigo tried to level the scores,

they flew straight into the SAS's flight path and got got.

'Now that is what I call a dogfight.'

What a dogfight indeed, Air Marshall.

'Scores verified.'

So, the scores tell us what we already know.

Suffolk Air Squad fly through to the semis,

having zapped Vertigo four times.

Yeah, as we thought, today's winners are SAS. You got all four.

Unfortunately for you guys, Vertigo, Oscar, Tanya,

that means that you are the runners-up with two hits.

-How do you feel? Was it fun? Did you have a good time?

-Good.

Yeah, it was fun. Definitely.

That's great. That's what we like to see. Still smiling.

Unfortunately I do have to say this to you, Oscar - you're grounded.

So that means today's winners are the Suffolk Air Squad, the SAS.

Guy, how are you feeling?

I'm feeling amazing. This is so cool.

Well, congratulations both of you, we'll see you in the semifinals.

Until then, it's time for you guys to power down.

And for you to step on up.

Congratulations to the Suffolk Air Squad,

winning the last of the heats.

They'll join Red Zumbido, The Girls Squadrone...

The face of concentration.

..and Area 51 in the first of our epic semifinals.

'Airmageddon power down.'