Episode 9 All Over the Place

Your CBBC buddies are continuing their road trip across the USA!

Join them, as Naomi has a splashing time,

Johny bites off more than he can chew,

Richard meets his long-lost twin...

-Hello.

-And Cel has an alien encounter.

HE TALKS GIBBERISH

# All over the place

# All over the place

North, south, east, west On a bizarre quest

Me and my mates all over the place

It's true what you've heard Everything is absurd

Whatever we do Is strange but true!

# All over the place

# All over the place

Bet you didn't know this stuff's all over the States

But it turns up... # All over the place! #

Our first stop is the state that produces

40% of the world's orange juice - Florida!

Can't believe I'm here.

Miami Beach is like the coolest hang-out place ever.

Ed, chill.

We do not want to look uncool.

Good point. Can you pass my swimming trunks?

I'm going to try and put them on under this towel...

There's loads of beach huts - why don't you use one of those?

That's a good idea.

Ooh!

Ha-ha-ha! Oh, nice pants!

No, no! Look away!

Hee-hee! Actually, these are lifeguard huts,

and you'll find them all along the seven miles of beach here in Miami.

The huts have been here for 89 years...

They've been painted in a style that fits in

with some of the amazing buildings you will find around Miami.

'Ed and Naomi - you have 37 seconds

'to find out as much as you can about the lifeguard towers!

'Naomi - you have Lieutenant Gerry from Ocean Rescue.

'Ed - you have Lindsay, a lifeguard AND an Olympic rowing champion!

'Whoever finds out the most facts is the winner.

'Three, two, one, go!'

-Is it true you're an Olympic champion?

-Yes.

-How many beach huts are there?

-29.

What does a lifeguard do?

No, kidding! We keep people safe in the ocean.

-How long have they been here?

-Since 1923.

-Could I be a lifeguard?

-You could - if you can swim...and run.

-What are they made of?

-Some are wood,

we used to have some fibreglass ones, but mostly wood.

I've designed one - there. Would you be interested in building this?

That would work, because you could sit really high.

That's what I was thinking. Very clever, yes!

-Who designed them?

-We've had some designed by local architects,

and also some designed by our beach patrol chiefs.

-How many people get rescued every year?

-I'm not sure, it varies.

-KLAXON SOUNDS

-But it's your job.

-Depends on the weather.

-I think we did well.

-We did.

-# I think we're going to win...! #

'The person who found out the most facts, by one point, is...

'Ed!'

Ooh! One point!

That's no..! Oh!

-Ooh!

-Gutted! Oh, well. I'm not interested in the competition,

I just want to have a look around the lifeguard huts.

It's not about the winning - it's about the taking part.

Ah, this one's a lighthouse and lifeguard hut combined.

Looks cool. Shall we go and have a little nosey on the inside?

Yeah, yeah!

-Oh!

-Oh!

-Quite basic, really.

-Yeah. I wouldn't want to live in one of these.

-No, maybe not.

-It would be like living in your dad's shed.

Got the binoculars, to look out for people in trouble.

-Bit of music to listen to.

-Oh, they've run out of toilet paper.

-ALARM BELLS AND SIRENS SOUND

-Emergency!

So, how would Ed the joker do as a real lifeguard?

Time to report to Lieutenant Gerry.

-So, Lieutenant Gerry.

-Yes, sir.

-What do I need to be a lifeguard?

-Well, the skills of a lifeguard

require you to have emergency first aid training.

We also require our lifeguards to do a physical swim test.

-Sounds doable.

-Yeah, we can manage that.

In order to do that, we require you to run for 200 metres,

then swim for 500,

and then run again for 200 metres in 12 minutes or less.

-Oh, bye!

-Goodbye!

I think in your case we can shorten it up a little bit,

-to make it a little bit easier.

-OK...

-Yes, that sounds much better.

-Yeah. We could maybe do that.

-Are you ready, Ed?

-Yes, Lieutenant Gerry, I'm ready

for my simplified run-swim-run test!

Ready...go.

Come on, Ed!

He has definitely got an advantage with those long legs.

Go on! He-hey! Nice work!

Oh! Agh!

Set, go!

No hurry, Naomi!

Agh!

-Oh!

-That was so fast!

-Way more exhausting...

than I thought it was going to be!

-How did I do?

-That was a great job.

Both of you did outstanding - but it's a difference of one second.

-Congratulations, Ed!

-No!

-Yes!

-No-o-o!

-Great job by both of you.

Unfortunately, our loser gets dunked in the ocean.

So, it looks like one second gets you the dunk in the ocean.

It could be worse, being dunked in the ocean by two hunky lifeguards.

Agh! Bye, Ed! Whoo-hoo!

We treat everybody here with equality. Fellas -

-he gets dunked, too.

-Oh, no! Agh!

Ha-ha!

It's lunchtime, I'm starving, and here in Texas,

it's practically illegal not to have a barbecue.

Don't worry, Ed, there are going to be no laws broken today,

because I'm getting ready to rustle us up a lovely British barbecue -

show these Texans how we do it in Yorkshire.

I've got my sausages, got my cutlery, got my napkins -

-good to go.

-I think you're missing a vital ingredient, actually.

No, I don't think I am, Ed - I've got barbecue sauce...

I don't need anything else.

British rain!

Ha-ha! That's a great gag, Ed, but now we've got soggy sausages,

-what are we going to eat?

-Don't panic, Johny.

It just so happens that you guys are in Lockhart,

the barbecue capital of Texas.

There are just four barbecue restaurants in this small town,

but together, they serve...

That's like over three London Olympic stadiums

full of hungry spectators, and that's a whole lot of sausages!

Time to barbecue, Texas-style!

Hiya, Barrett, I can just about make you out through all this smoke!

-Welcome!

-This is Barrett, from Black's Barbecue.

His family have been barbecuing here for 80 years,

so they definitely know how to make a finger-licking good barbecue.

Their secret is a spicy coating, which adds flavour to the meat,

but only after you rub it in.

-Now you've got to get your hands dirty.

-Right, OK.

I'll show you. You really rub it. Some of it's going to come off,

but you've got to make it so it really sticks on.

We're TV presenters, so, you know, we don't get our hands dirty!

-Like that?

-There you go!

Look at this guy! We've got to get Johny out of here!

Can I take him out and get something to eat? Come on, Johny!

-This isn't the job for you, is it?

-No!

Aw, bless. After a hard day's - more like a minute's - work,

I suppose you've earned yourself some tasty treats.

Hey, get your teeth stuck into this...!

-Well, that WAS delicious.

-Mmm.

But there's plenty of other competition in this town.

At Smitty's Barbecue Restaurant,

they use fire pits to cook their meat.

The fire is lit to the side and the heat is drawn through the pit

by the chimney at the back, and the meat is cooked in there

for up to eight hours. That really is...slow cooking.

So...tuck in again!

-Right, shall we let battle commence, then?

-Yeah. Yeah, right...

I honestly don't know where to start, really.

Oh, man, that's good.

Mouth full, Petrie! Don't YOU be so rude, Johny.

Better.

See you in two or three hours!

Whoo!

I think we might have overdone it.

RUMBLING AND GURGLING SOUNDS I think my belly agrees with you, Ed.

It's definitely a gold star for the Lone Star State.

-Lone Star State?

-Every USA state has its own nickname.

-That's the nickname for the state we're in.

-Well, I think after that,

we're in a right state. PARP

I got something on my mind, Hank, about this here state of Texas.

-Uh-huh? What's that, boss?

-Well, I've been

looking at the nicknames of some of the other states.

Florida's the Sunshine State.

Nevada's the Silver State.

Hawaii, dangnabit, is the Rainbow State.

I want Texas to have a cool nickname.

But boss, what's wrong with Texas, the Lone Star State?

I'm bored of it.

It sounds...lonely.

Come on, Hank - think of a new nickname.

Guv'nor, I...I think I've got it!

Texas - the Texas State!

No, no.

Texas, the, er, Rattlesnake State? RATTLESNAKE RATTLES

Heck, no!

Texas, the...Hoppin' State?

No, no.

Texas, the, er, Cartwheel...State?

-Go on.

-Really?

SMASHING AND CRASHING

Get up, dummy.

Texas, the...

Rattlesnake's Escaped State...?!

-That is the worst nickname I...

-SNAKE RATTLES

Sorry, what...? Agh!

TOILET FLUSHES

-'Pizza?

-Thanks. This is an exact copy

'of the leaning tower of Pisa in Italy - except half the size.'

-ITALIAN ACCENT:

-'Just-a like-a you!

'Ha-ha-ha-ha(!)

'It's in this place, called Niles, in Illinois -

'so what do you think they call it?

'The slightly wonky tower of Niles in Illinois?

'Not quite - the leaning tower of Niles.

'Oh, I knew that.

'The original tower of Pisa took about 200 years to finish,

'and is over 650 years old.

'Ah, OK. Guess if I was that old, I'd lean a little, too.

HE MOUTHS

-'So, who built this one?

-A local man called Robert Ilg.

-'He built it for his workers.

-Oh, what a great boss(!)

'Why didn't he just give them a party?

'He DID give them an outdoor swimming pool, and it's said

'the tower was built to hide the water tank for the pool.

'I've got a bit of a water storage problem myself.

'I need a wee!

'I wonder - if YOU could design a tower,

'what would it look like?'

If I was to design a tower, on every floor,

you would have what you desired.

So there would be different things, where there was, like, mermaids,

a place where you can meet animals, fairies...

And so anything you wish would come true.

CHILDREN LAUGH

I would have a roller-coaster.

It could take you down and up, but it would have major loop-the-loops.

And when you get to your floor, you would be sick.

CHILDREN LAUGH

-Richard?

-Yeah?

-If we're in Virginia,

why are we walking next to Stonehenge?

-I don't know, that is weird.

-Has Wiltshire gone on holiday?

Are we in a parallel universe? Have I left the oven on?

Ed, calm down. I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation, all right?

This is weird. This isn't even made of stone. WE'RE GOING TO DIE!

Look, it's made out of soft foam, all right? So chill out!

Voiceover Man said that you're a fibreglass man,

but you're not a fibreglass man, obviously.

-Do I look like I'm made out of fibreglass?

-No.

So you just collect sculptures and stuff?

-Actually, I built all this stuff.

-You built it all?

Yeah, everything's made out of foam, originally,

and then I fibreglassed over the top of it.

A fibre is a long, thin, stringy thing

and fibreglass is made from fine fibres of glass.

It's so strong, it can be used as a supporting cast for broken bones.

He's been fabricating fab fantastic fibreglass figures

for over 25 years. You try saying that!

-Richard, look what I found.

-Ah, the ice cream lady.

I'll have a cone with some chocolate sprinkles, please.

No, it's the Statue of Liberty in New York.

-Oh, you ain't stolen it, have you?

-No! Oh, never mind.

Hello?

You all right?

No, I'm not over there, mate, I'm here.

I think he's going to be here a while.

Hello?

-Some of these are quite freaky, aren't they?

-Really?

They don't scare me. You've just got to remember that they... YAHHH!

-Oh, that's horrific! Mark's a bit too good at this, isn't he?

-I know!

I mean, it must be difficult to make these.

This is my workshop, fellas, and what we're going to do today is,

we're going to sculpt a replica of you, Ed.

If there are any modelling agencies watching, I'm available for work.

I wouldn't wait by the phone, Ed.

Basically, to make a fibreglass Ed, what you do is...draw him

on polystyrene foam.

-Sculpt out his face a bit...

-Make me look as ugly as you like.

Not difficult, Ed.

There you go, that's your nose. And that's being kind.

Wrap it in tinfoil to protect the foam from the liquid fibreglass,

and voila!

-Half an hour ago, that...

-Was that.

Now apply the fibreglass and whack it in the sun to dry.

And then add make-up.

-Wow!

-I can't believe you got it done so quickly.

Yeah, what did it take, about an hour? Tops?

I think there's one problem, though.

Don't you think the nose needs to be that little bit bigger?

No, no, it's perfect. Look, how does it compare?

Twins!

Oh, Ed, that's a face for the movies! HORROR movies!

So, as you know, I'm directing this big-budget action movie.

So I'm going to need some pretty amazing special effects.

-I'm your man.

-Good. Cos the movie ends with this big scene

where giant spiders try and destroy the Golden Gate Bridge

so the dinosaurs can't escape the alien spaceships

that are attacking planet Earth.

-So...how do we do that?

-One word - fibreglass.

-Fibreglass. Right.

-What about CGI?

-You don't need it. All you need is fibreglass.

It's light and it's strong and you can shape it into whatever you want.

-How's it going to work?

-Let me show you. Look at this. The spider. Agh!

See, I knew that was coming but it's still scary. It's believable. Why?

Fibreglass.

The T-rex. He's got little hands, he's got big teeth, he's scary.

You know why? Fibreglass!

-This is a multi-million-dollar movie.

-Right.

I need special effects, NOT KIDS' TOYS! Get out, you nut-job.

Harry Potter was made of fibreglass.

I SAID GET OUT!

Arrgh!

HE LAUGHS

Ha!

You know why the chair broke? Not made of fibreglass!

-My leg! I think I broke my leg!

-I'll make you a cast.

-And guess what it's going to be made of?

-I SAID GET OUT!

All right!

We're here in Frankenmuth, in Michigan,

which is known as Michigan's Little Bavaria,

because of all the German settlers that moved here.

So you're probably wondering why I'm dressed as an elf.

-Yes, I certainly am.

-Well!

# If you wish that it was Christmas every day

# Then let me tell you we have found the place

# Love the sound of sleigh bells? You're in the right area

# Frankenmuth is known as Michigan's Little Bavaria

# It's home to the world's biggest Christmas shop

# Where you can browse for decorations till you drop

# Opened by Wallace Bronner in 1945

# Over 60 years later the business still thrives

# Cos here it is, a giant Christmas store

# Here in Michigan

# Whatever festive frills you need

# They sell them by the to-o-on

# It's five times the size of a football field in here

# More than two million people visit the store each year

# Tinsel, ornaments, more than you've ever seen

# There's 12 miles-worth of garlands

# Pity, I need 13

# So here it is, a giant Christmas store

# Get your festive fill

# A hundred thousand Christmas lights

# Imagine that electric bill!

# It's open all year round apart from Christmas Day, remember

# Who comes to a Christmas shop on 26th December?

# So here it is, a giant Christmas store

# Here in Michigan

# Whatever time of year it is

# The countdown has begu-u-u-un!

# Here it is, a giant Christmas store

# Decked with ice and snow

# Your Christmas wish is guaranteed

How many shopping days to go?

IT'S CHRISSSSSSTMASSSSSS!

# But even though we've tried

# It's hard to feel that Christmas mood

# When it's 45 degrees outsiiiiiiide...

Phew! It's boiling. You can take off that costume now, Ed.

-Costume? What do you mean?

-OK...

Come in, HQ, roger.

I said I wanted to look like Will Smith in Men In Black,

not Ant from Ant and Dec, over.

-I'm loving these suits, Ed.

-Agent E, Agent C.

-Check, Agent E.

Now, you may think we're here in Manitowoc, Wisconsin,

to take part in an event, but that's a cover.

We're actually here to investigate alien sightings

and pretty spooky goings on.

Spookier than that clown I had at my sixth birthday party?

Spookier than that.

-Spookier than your face in the morning?

-Spookier than that.

Spookier than Ian Stirling's fashion sense?

No way. Nothing's that spooky.

THEY BOTH SHUDDER

-Have you seen him in a vest top?

-Nightmares for weeks.

Agents Ant and Dec are here to investigate the Sputnikfest.

It celebrates all things alien.

Why? Well, because a large chunk of the Russian Sputnik spacecraft

landed here 50 years ago.

But this not very mysterious mystery doesn't stop people turning

up every year for alien events.

Our men in black have signed up for the Alien Drop, Best Alien,

and first stop is the Alien Pet contest.

Question is, how will they maintain their cover?

I shall be Gok-Gok Wham-Wham, international man of mystery

and canine costumier.

OK, well, I'll be...

Gok-Gok-Gok Wham-Wham-Wham...

the lesser-known Dodgy-Doggy.

Dodgy dress designer.

Right, let's split up, find some locals with pets

and enter this competition.

Oh, yes, and may the best Gok-Gok Wham-Wham win,

or the Gok-Gok-GokGok Wham-Wham-Wham-Wham win.

And that's quite difficult to say.

I'm here today with Tanya, Sarah, but, most importantly, Ringo.

Hello, Ringo!

-RINGO: Who's this geek?

-Not very talkative, is he?

OK, what I've done is, I've got some gorgeous straws,

some fantastic elastic bands and all sorts of other stuff,

and I was thinking we could dress her up with all this.

That's never going to work!

That's right, Tanya, get stuck in with the scissors.

Go, girlfriend!

That's right, you're no-one in Wisconsin this season

unless you've got a spaceship on your head.

-OK, OK, I look ridiculous.

-You sure do, Ringo.

Hi, this is Brad and Mindy and the star of today is Zoe.

Zoe, how are you doing, babe?

Gimme a kiss. Mmmm...

See, we're already a team. So I think we all know this right here is

the face of the future.

ZOE: Woof! You bet I am, you cutie, you!

HE COOS

Well done, Cel, that's simply adorable. Now the dogs are ready,

it's time to join other 13 competitors in the contest.

Ringo's up first.

Coming down the catwalk! Sorry, dogwalk.

WOMAN: Ringo!

Here's the cards.

And this is an Unidentified Furry Object

taking alien fashion to another dimension.

We're just going to go and find his dignity now.

Good luck. You don't always need dignity to survive.

If you see some dignity, tell us. LAUGHTER

Well, you won't find it with Gok Cel.

This little pooch has the crown in her sights

and she's set her phaser to stun.

-Ooh!

-She's WOO-ing the judges.

-Thank you.

-I think it's neck-and-neck.

Um, collar and collar.

We have a tie for second.

Our first-placed winner...

Are you ready?

Our first-place winner is Zoe!

Fantastic! Cel has beaten Ed, winning the overall competition!

Thank you.

Congratulations, Zoe!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Thank you, everyone. She's a bit excited, as you can see.

But we really appreciate it. Thank you very much for having us.

You're very welcome.

And we have an international winner this year, how exciting.

I'm just going to walk away as a winner.

Oh, Ed, you're so out-fabuloused!

And now over to Fireman Greg for the Alien Drop.

What you guys have are two of our aliens for our alien drop.

You've got to put those in the bucket,

we put the bucket on the fire truck, the fire truck goes up,

drops all of them down, whichever one is closest to the brass

ring signifying where Sputnik landed is the winner.

This is one of those moments when you think,

"What are we doing?" This is really weird.

We're ready for the drop. Here we go.

ALL: ..two, three, drop the aliens!

That's mine! I can see mine! It's really close!

With the blue elastic band on. Yesssss!

Yes, look!

I had to wrestle it off a small child, but that's my alien.

It was the closest to Sputnik!

I know you had a traumatic experience,

but you're back home with Daddy now, safe and sound.

You won the first one, I won the second -

everything to play for in the final.

It'll be a good final round.

That's right, Ed, it's one each and all to play for in Best Alien.

You have to design an alien outfit using the finest intergalactic

components in the universe.

Which are, of course...

Tinfoil, a coat hanger, tape, scissors and some stickers.

Is that it?!

26 competitors have entered Best Alien, so the pressure's on, boys.

The rules are as follows -

you have to create a costume using only the materials provided.

And the costume must be created on the festival site.

The winner is the person who looks and acts most like an alien.

People of Earth, I come in peace!

Pieces!

Oh, I'm a singing alien!

WHOOPING AND CHEERING

Number 16, step forward!

Step forward and step lightly with those size 13-er shoes!

They are nice.

Notice the safety-protected wear that is

so crucially installed on his beautiful, beautiful attire.

I despise this planet!

I hate your feeble competitions!

They are pathetic and I wish nothing but doom

and destruction upon you all!

LOUD BOOING

That's what we call ALIENATING the audience!

-Well done, Ed.

-17, come right up here.

Come on, you can walk, you can talk,

you can slither on your belly like a reptile if you so desire.

Would you like to say something

to the Earth people of Manitowoc, Wisconsin?

HE SPEAKS EXCITEDLY IN ALIEN LANGUAGE

LAUGHTER

WHOOPING AND CHEERING

Cel never knows what he's talking about and now we don't either!

-I don't think it went very well.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-I don't know, I thought it went down OK.

-I thought you nailed it.

They all loved you.

-It was very close.

-Yes.

The judges have dictated

that only a single point separated our two winners.

And that single point was added on to the tally of number 17.

WHOOPING Is that me?

-That's you.

-That's you!

-Yes! Yes!

You idiot! I despise you, number 17.

I literally despise you.

You have been watching All Over The Place: USA.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd