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Hello there. I'm Matt, and this is Meg,
and we are looking for the perfect spot to live.
I wanna be able to see for miles,
and have green, green grass all around,
with plenty of room to give Meg lots of exercise.
In tonight's story, Jed dreams of finding
the perfect place to live.
The story is called A New Home For A Pirate.
Jed was a pirate, but he didn't enjoy it.
It was a tight squeeze on the ship and it was always bobbing about.
Every day Jed was seasick.
Every night Jed dreamt of a house that stood still.
One morning, Jed announced he was leaving.
"I want a house that stands still, with a view from a hill,
"and a roof that's blue like the sky.
"When I've found it, you can all come and stay."
"Splice the mainbrace!" exclaimed his mum and dad.
He was the first landlubber in his family.
But they saw he'd made up his mind,
and they liked the bit about visiting.
Jed packed his pirate paraphernalia in an old trunk.
One long rope, one pirate hat, clean underpants,
Great-Granddad's wooden leg, one parrot - stuffed,
a cutlass, one spotted handkerchief, an eye-patch, socks, pyjamas
and a toothbrush.
"Cheerio-ho!" called Jed, as he cycled away.
He came to a forest. A bird was squawking.
"Please can you help? My nest is a mess!"
Jed scratched his head.
"Shiver me timbers!" he exclaimed. "I've got the very thing!"
He took out his pirate hat and the nest fitted perfectly.
"Ooh! Thank you!" said Bird. "You're very kind for a pirate!"
"I'm not a pirate any more," said Jed.
"I'm looking for a new home.
"I want a house that stands still with a view from a hill
"and a roof that's blue like the sky."
"Oh, will that be a tree?" asked Bird.
"Of course!" said Jed. "Come with me, we'll look for a home together."
They came to a field. A sheep was baa-ing loudly.
"Please can you help? I'm tangled in brambles!"
Jed scratched his head. "Shiver me timbers!" he exclaimed.
"I've got the very thing!"
He took his cutlass and sliced the sheep free.
"Ooh, thank you!" she said. "You're very kind for a pirate."
"I'm not a pirate any more," said Jed, "I'm looking for a new home.
"I want a house that stands still with a view from a hill,
"a roof that's blue like the sky, a stretching high tree..."
"Will there be a grassy field?" asked Sheep.
"Of course!" said Jed. "Come with us, we'll look for a home together."
They came to a high bank.
An old dog lay whimpering.
"Oh! Please can you help - I've broken me leg!"
Jed scratched his head. "Shiver me timbers!" he exclaimed,
"I've got the very thing!"
Jed took out his Great-Granddad's wooden leg
and tied it on with the spotted handkerchief.
"Thank you!" said the old dog.
"You're very kind for a pirate!"
"I'm not a pirate any more!" explained Jed.
"I'm looking for a new home. I want a house that stands still
"with a view from a hill and a roof that's blue like the sky,
"with a stretching high tree, and a field, bramble free."
"Oh, well there be a doormat?" asked the old dog.
"Of course," said Jed. "Come with us, we'll look for a home together."
They came to an open gate. A red bull was tossing his horns.
"I wanna chase you!" he roared.
Jed scratched his head.
"Ah! Shiver me timbers!" he said. "Luckily I've got the very thing."
Jed took out the rope and hauled the bike into a tree.
Farmer Ted came running. "Shoo! Shoo!" he shouted,
and chased the red bull back into the field.
"Oh, thank you!" said Jed. "You're very kind for a farmer!"
But Farmer Ted sighed. "I'm not really a farmer any more.
"There's only red bull and me. I'd rather be a pirate!
"Yes, that's the life for me. On a rollicking, rolling ship,
"on a rollicking, rolling sea."
Jed sighed. "I'm not really a pirate any more.
"My friends and I are looking for a new home too!
"We want a house that stands still, with a view from a hill
"and a roof that's blue like the sky. With a stretching high tree,
"and a field, bramble free, and a doormat where Old Dog can lie."
"Oh, come with me..." said Farmer Ted.
"I think I've got the very thing!"
"A house like mine?" asked Ted. "Perfect!" replied Jed.
"A ship like mine?" asked Jed. "Wonderful!" replied Ted.
"Let's swap!" they said together.
Jed introduced Ted to his family.
"Ted wants to be a pirate," he explained. "Can you help?"
"Ooh-arr, ha-har!" they all shouted.
"We're the best pirate teachers in the world, ha-har!"
Ted passed all the pirate tests.
The pirates were so impressed,
they invited him to join their motley crew immediately.
Ted liked his new house. "Ooh-arr! This is the life for me!
"On a rollicking, rolling ship on a rollicking, rolling sea!
"Cheerio-ho-ho, me hearties!"
and Jed knew he'd be a very wicked pirate indeed.
Jed liked his new home too. Bird sang in the tree,
and Sheep munched in the field.
And Old Dog slept on the doormat.
"I've a house that stands still! With a view from a hill,
"and a roof that's blue like the sky. A perfect home for a pirate."
And that story was called, A New Home For A Pirate.
I'll tell you what - I think I've found the perfect spot to live!
Look! Beautiful views and room to exercise Meg.
We'll see you soon for another story. Come on, Meg!