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Hello, I'm Grandpa.
I was just enjoying a delicious jam sandwich.
There are some villagers in tonight's bedtime story
who used a jam sandwich to solve a big problem.
The story's called The Giant Jam Sandwich,
and it's by John Vernon Lord and Janet Burroway.
One hot summer in Itching Down,
4 million wasps flew into town.
They drove the picnickers away,
they chased the farmers from their hay.
They stung Lord Swell on his fat, bald pate.
They dived and hummed and buzzed and ate.
And the noisy, nasty nuisance grew
till the villagers cried, "What can we do?"
So they called a meeting in the village hall,
and Mayor Muddlenut asked them all, "What can we do?"
And they said, "Good question."
But nobody had a good suggestion.
Then Bap the Baker leapt to his feet
and cried, "What do wasps like best to eat?
"Strawberry jam! Now, wait a minute.
"If we made a giant sandwich, we could trap them in it."
The gentlemen cheered, the ladies squealed,
and Farmer Seed said, "Use my field."
Bap gave instructions for the making of the dough.
"Mix flour from above, and yeast from below.
"Salt from the seaside, water from the spout.
"Now thump it, bump it, bang it about."
While they were working and working hard,
some more made a tablecloth out in the yard.
When they were done, the dough was left to rise
till the loaf was a mountain in shape and size.
They hitched it up with a bit of fuss
to tractors, cars and the village bus
and took it to the oven they had made on the hill.
50 cookers in an old brick mill.
For hours and hours they let it cook.
It swelled inside and the windows shook.
It was piping hot when they took it out
and the villagers raised a mighty shout.
"Isn't it crusty? Aren't we clever?"
But the wasps were just as bad as ever.
The loaf was left to cool and then the people watched
while six strong men took a great big saw and sliced right through.
Everybody clapped, and they cut slice two.
The village bus, they all agreed,
would spoil the fields of Farmer Seed
so eight fine horses pulled the bread
to where the picnic cloth was spread.
A truck drew up and dumped out butter
and they spread it out with a flap and a flutter.
Spoons and spades slap and slam,
and they did the same with the strawberry jam.
Meanwhile, high above the field,
six flying machines whirred and wheeled,
ready for the wasps to take the bait.
And then there was nothing to do but wait.
Suddenly, the sky was humming.
All 4 million wasps were coming.
They smelt that jam, they dived and struck,
and they ate so much they all got stuck.
The other slice came down, kersplat!
On top of the wasps, and that was that.
There were only three that got away,
and where they are now, I cannot say.
But they never came back to Itching Down,
which is not a waspish sort of town,
but a very nice place to dance and play,
and that's what the villagers did that day.
And what became of the sandwich?
Well, in Itching Down they like to tell
how the birds flew off with it in their beaks
and had a feast for 100 weeks.
Well, that story was called The Giant Jam Sandwich.
I'm glad there are no wasps around tonight.
It means I can enjoy my own jam sandwich,
and then I'll buzz off for a little lie down.
Hope you'll join me again soon for another bedtime story.
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd