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Hello. I'm Maxine.
Have you ever wished that you were a prince or a princess?
Me too. There's a prince and a princess in tonight's Bedtime Story.
But I'm not sure you'll want to be like them.
This story is called The Worst Princess
and it's by Anna Kemp and Sara Ogilvie.
Once upon a time, in a tower near you,
lived a lonely princess - the Princess Sue.
"Someday," she sighed, "my prince will come.
"But I wish he'd move his royal bum.
"I have waited for 100 years, I am getting stiff. I am bored to tears.
"I have read the books, I know the score.
"I've grown my plaits down to the floor.
"I really need to get some air, to see the world and cut my hair."
Then, just as Sue was about to scream,
a prince appeared, just like a dream.
"Oh, Princess, pretty as a pea,
"I have journeyed far to rescue thee.
"I fought, I won, I shocked, I awed.
"You should have seen me swing my sword.
"I have slain all kinds of vicious foe."
"That's fab," said Sue. "Now can we go?
"Your true love's kiss should do the trick
"so pucker up and kiss me quick."
They charged off on their dashing steed.
"Whoopee!" cried Sue. "At last I'm freed.
"Today I start my happy end." But then she saw around the bend.
"Where are we going, my prince, my love?"
"Back to my castle, turtle dove.
"My perfect peach, my precious flower,
"you have a penthouse in the tower."
"I'd rather ride a horse," said Sue, "and do all kinds of fun stuff too."
"Too bad," said Prince, "you know the rules.
"Didn't you listen at Princess School?
"It's me who wears the armour here and you wear dresses, are we clear?
"Just smile a lot and twist your curls,
"dragon bashing is not for girls."
Alone in the tower, Sue started to spit.
"What a disaster, my prince is a twit."
Then in the skies she suddenly spied
a fearsome dragon with flashing eyes.
Sue didn't run, she had no fear. Instead she had a bright idea.
"Hey, you," she called, "with your scary claws,
"fancy some tea for your fiery jaws?"
"Oh, yes!" said Dragon, "What a relief.
"That pesky prince is giving me grief."
"Me too," said Sue, "the sneaky rascal
"has locked me up in his stupid castle."
"The rotter," gasped Dragon, "that just won't do.
"We need to teach him a thing or two."
The dragon sniffed some nasal spray.
And then he blew the tower clean away.
"Princess Sue, that's quite enough!"
The prince was back and in a huff.
"Where is your tower? Just look at your dress.
"You really are the worst princess.
"Also, Susan, beg your pardon, why is there a dragon in my garden?"
"Perhaps I am the worst princess," laughed Princess Sue.
"My hair is a mess, my tower's a wreck but I don't care.
"I've booked a flight with Dragon Air."
The dragon sniffed then with two snorts,
set alight the princely shorts.
From that day on, the new-found friends
toured the land from end to end,
making mischief left and right
for royal twits and naughty knights.
"You know," said Sue, as they drank their tea,
"we're a great team, you and me."
The dragon's belly shook with laughter
and they both lived happily ever after.
And that story was called The Worst Princess.
Now it's time to dream about being a prince or a princess.
And I hope I will see you very soon for another Bedtime Story.