Peter Serafinowicz - A Squash and a Squeeze CBeebies Bedtime Stories

HE SIGHS

KNOCKING

Hello.

KNOCKING

Hello!

Grr! I've forgotten my front door keys.

Hello. My name's Peter.

The story I'm reading tonight is one of my favourites.

It's called, A Squash and a Squeeze.

It's by Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler.

A little old lady lived all by herself with a table

and chairs and a jug on the shelf.

A wise old man heard her grumble and grouse.

"There's not enough room in my house!

"Wise old man, won't you help me, please?

"My house is a squash and a squeeze."

"Take in your hen," said the wise old man.

"Take in my hen? What a curious plan."

Well, the hen laid an egg on the fireside rug

and flapped round the room knocking over the jug.

The little old lady cried,

"What should I do? It was pokey for one and it's tiny for two.

"My nose has a tickle and there's no room to sneeze.

"My house is a squash and a squeeze."

"Take in your goat," said the wise old man.

"Take in my goat? What a curious plan."

Well, the goat chewed the curtain and trod on the egg,

then sat down to nibble the table leg.

The little old lady cried,

"Glory be! It was tiny for two, and it's titchy for three.

"The hen pecks the goat and the goat's got fleas.

"My house is a squash and a squeeze."

And she said,

"Wise old man, won't you help me, please.

"My house is a squash and a squeeze."

"Take in your pig", said the wise old man.

"Take in my pig? What a curious plan!"

So, she took in her pig who kept chasing the hen

and raiding the larder again and again.

The little old lady cried,

"Stop, I implore.

"It was titchy for three and it's teeny for four.

"Even the pig and the larder agrees, my house is a squash and a squeeze.

"Wise old man, won't you help me, please!

"My house is a squash and a squeeze."

"Take in your cow," said the wise old man.

"Take in my cow? What a curious plan!"

Well, the cow took one look and charged straight at the pig,

then jumped on the table and tapped out a jig.

The little old lady cried,

"Heavens alive! It was teeny for four and it's weenie for five.

"I'm tearing my hair out, I'm down on my knees.

"My house is a squash and a squeeze."

And she said,

"Wise old man, won't you help me, please?

"My house is a squash and a squeeze."

"Take them all out",

said the wise old man.

"But then I'll be back where I first began!"

So, she opened the window and out flew the hen.

"That's better. At last I can sneeze again".

She shooed out the goat and she shoved out the pig.

"My house is beginning to feel pretty big!"

She huffed and she puffed and she pushed out the cow.

"Just look at my house, it's enormous now!"

"Thank you, old man, for the work you have done.

"It was weenie for five. It's gigantic for one.

"There's no need to grumble and there's no need to grouse,

"there's plenty of room in my house."

And now she's full of frolics and fiddledeedees.

It isn't a squash and it isn't a squeeze.

Yes, she's full of frolics and fiddledeedees.

It isn't a squash or a squeeze.

MOO!

And that bedtime story was called, A Squash and a Squeeze.

Now, grab your favourite teddy and give it a squash and a squeeze

because it's time for you to go to bed.

It's time for me to go to bed too.

How am I going to get into my house?

Hm. I know! I'll try the back door. Sleep tight.

I'll see you again soon.

GRUNTS

Oh! Oh, good. It's open. Night-night.

Ahh!