Frank Skinner - There's a Lion in My Cornflakes CBeebies Bedtime Stories

Hello, I'm Frank.

I love spending time with family and friends. Do you?

Tonight's bedtime story is about Eric and Dan,

who were waiting for a brand-new friend to arrive.

It's called There's A Lion In My Cornflakes

and it's by Michelle Robinson and Jim Field.

If you ever see this on a packet of cornflakes,

"Free lion. Just save 100 coupons,"

ignore it.

You should see what happened when we didn't.

Me and my brother Dan made umpteen trips to the supermarket

and spent a whole year's pocket money on cereal.

It took us ages to cut out all the coupons.

Mum was so mad, she made us eat cornflakes for breakfast,

-lunch and tea.

-THEY MUNCH

She said we'd have nothing but cornflakes until they were all gone.

That could take for ever.

And she said, there'd be no more pocket money until

we'd eaten up every last boring crunchy flake.

But we didn't mind. We really wanted a free lion.

We could take it for walks, ride it to school

and use it to open tin cans.

Mind you, it seems everyone else had the same idea. Poor postman.

We waited and waited for our free lion to arrive,

but there was no lion on Monday,

or Tuesday,

or Wednesday.

-Thursday...no lion.

-DOG WHINES

Friday...no lion.

Saturday...still no lion.

Even worse, by the time Sunday came, everyone else had theirs.

-How unfair is that?

-LIONS ROAR

Then, on Monday, a delivery truck arrived.

Oh, we were so excited but...

one, it wasn't a lion.

Two, they sent it next door by mistake.

And three, it went ballistic in Mr Harper's back yard.

It wasn't our fault, but Mum went bonkers.

She made us apologise to Mr Harper and tidy up. It was awful.

We had a grizzly bear, a grumpy mum

-and absolutely no free lion.

-BEAR GRUNTS

We wrote to the cereal people and complained. They wrote back...

"Dear Eric and Dan...

"Sorry about the grizzly bear but we ran out of Lions.

"Please accept this crocodile instead. Yours sincerely, Mr Flaky.

"PS - Handle with care."

"A crocodile?" Dan said.

"We didn't eat all those cornflakes for a cranky old crocodile."

And guess what? The crocodile spent all its time

in the bathroom so no-one else could get in.

Dad went nuts.

He made us scrub the bath while he telephoned the cereal people.

"Sorry," they said.

-"We'll sort it out straight away."

-BEAR GRUNTS

We asked for a lion, not a grizzly bear,

not a bathroom-hogging crocodile

and definitely not a whacking great gorilla.

But that's exactly what we got.

It took an immediate fancy to Dad's car.

No-o-o!

He was not impressed.

"Right, that's it," he fumed, "everyone in.

"I'm going to give those cereal people a piece of my mind."

The serial people said sorry. Again.

But they really had run out of lions.

They said we could keep the whacking great gorilla,

the bathroom-hogging crocodile and the very grizzly bear.

And they also gave us a lifetime supply of cornflakes.

Finally, Dad was happy.

But Mum wasn't, and we certainly weren't.

You can't take a packet of cornflakes for a walk.

Cornflakes won't get you to school in style.

Can cornflakes help you open a tin of tomatoes? Not on your nelly.

-But hang on a minute...

-TINS RATTLE

Chomp!

A crocodile is the meanest can-opening machine I've ever seen.

A grizzly bear can walk for miles and miles...

-and miles.

-CHILDREN CHEER

And there can't be a better way of arriving at school than this.

GORILLA GRUNTS

So don't ever bother saving up for a lion. It's not worth the trouble.

And besides, everyone's got one.

But a free tiger...

-Just imagine.

-TIGER GROWLS

That great story was called There's A Lion In My Cornflakes.

It seems like Eric and Dan

are planning to save coupons for a tiger now.

I think I'll just stick with my teddy instead.

Is your teddy tired? I think it's time for you

to take him to bed and get tucked up for the night.

I'll see you again soon for another bedtime story.

HE SNORES