Strictly Chuckle ChuckleVision


Strictly Chuckle

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# Chucklevision

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# Chucklevision

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# Chucklevision! #

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Oh!

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Oh! Ha-ha!

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One new dance floor, as requested.

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Haven't you done well?

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It's just a pity the flood ruined the old one.

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-Yes, but plumbing's not our forte.

-No.

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Or our 39 for that matter. Would you like to give it a twirl?

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Oh! There's no time for that - we have to put the finishing touches on

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before Dame Alice can open for business.

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Oh, yes, we're hosting the area dance championships.

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If our top students could win, the school perhaps will survive.

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DOORBELL RINGS That'll be them now.

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Come on, we need to put the polish on here.

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You mix it and put it on, I'll get the polishing machine.

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-Whatever you do, make sure you follow the instructions.

-I will.

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Right, let's have a look.

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"First remove the lid..."

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Oh!

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"Drop in a bucket of water."

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Oh!

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Ah! You must be Dame Alice's two top students.

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Great things are expected of you two, you know.

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-If you need any advice at all, don't hesitate to ask.

-You?

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Oh, yes, I'm no stranger to the old ballroom dancing.

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Paul, Paul,

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I've run out of polish and the floor's only half done.

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You can't have done.

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There should have been plenty in that tin.

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Hope you followed the instructions, or the floor would be dangerous...

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Ah!

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Ooh!

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Help me up.

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Ooh!

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"Drop in bucket."

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That's what I did.

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-"Put one..."

-Put one what?

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"..drop of polish in a bucket of water."

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You've gone and put all the polish on one spot.

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Can't we get some more?

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What? And make the whole floor dangerous? I don't think so.

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-We'll have to get this off and start again.

-How?

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We'll need a sander. I'll get one.

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What shall I do?

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You've done enough. Stay here and make sure nobody else comes in.

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Morning.

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BALLROOM MUSIC PLAYS

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-Barry!

-What?

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WHOA!

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Oh!

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Ow! Ooh!

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Hang on! I know.

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Here we go.

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That's it.

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OH!

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Got the sander. Now to get the polish off.

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What's happened here?

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We fell on your floor, that's what happened.

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-What are we going to do?

-We could try ice.

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Don't you think the floor is slippy enough?

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-I mean for the sore bits - it works for penguins.

-What?

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-You don't see many penguins with sprained ankles.

-He has a point.

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When I want your medical opinion, I'll ask for it.

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Quite right. Come on, we've got work to do.

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I don't think it's anything serious.

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De-de-de!

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Leave that to me and come here.

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Why can't I do it?

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Because we don't want any more unfortunate incidents.

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ENGINE STARTS

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-Oh, dear!

-Call us an ambulance.

-You're an ambulance.

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Thanks to you I'm in plaster and my students are in casualty

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with no hope of taking part in the competition, never mind winning.

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The least we can do is finish the job.

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What? Demolish the place?

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You may as well - I'll probably have to close now anyway.

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I had such high hopes for this year.

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Close? Never! Barry got you in this trouble, we'll help you out.

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-How?

-Barry and I will represent you in the competition

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and, what's more, we'll win it.

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Come on, Barry, we need costumes for the occasion.

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Should I be worried?

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No need, I'll worry for both of us.

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Very nice. Will you come on?

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No way! I'm not doing it!

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Think of poor Dame Alice - she'll have to shut up shop.

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It's not a shop - it's a dancing school.

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I'm not doing it, so there.

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OK, be it on your own head.

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I just hope she understands.

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I'll explain it slowly, so she does.

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There you are, boys!

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-Dame Alice, there's something I want to tell you.

-No. Me first.

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I can't tell you how much this means to me.

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I thought I was on my own, then you two step forward and offer to help.

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Oh! Forgive me, you wanted to say something?

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Only, it's our pleasure.

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That's very kind.

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Now, let's see what you can do.

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Nothing too ambitious.

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What about the slippery floor?

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Don't worry, I've stuck sandpaper to the soles of our shoes.

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That way, we can scrub the polish off while we go.

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What a good idea. Right, positions.

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BALLROOM MUSIC PLAYS

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Don't forget to smile!

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Faster, faster!

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UPBEAT MUSIC

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Chins up! TANGO MUSIC

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OK. I think we'll go ahead.

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You two are now our official entrants to the ballroom dancing championship!

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-Lovely! You won't regret it!

-I sincerely hope not.

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You are up against Rodney and Davina Quickfoot of the R&D school.

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-They never lose.

-There's a first time for everything!

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They run the other school in town and they want me out of business.

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Well, we'll soon see about that. After you, Barry.

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There is a first time for everything!

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-Rodney, Davina. This is...

-I'm Paul Chuckle.

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-Delighted to meet you.

-Who you are is of no significance to me.

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I'm here to win the competition, not make friends. Let's get on,

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-shall we?

-Charming!

-Winning has gone to his head.

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Gone to his head, has it? Right. This is one year he won't win.

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-Come on, Barry.

-Gentlepersons, take your positions!

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JIVE MUSIC PLAYS

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-They're very good.

-They are, aren't they?

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-Remember what Grandma said.

-You should've been in bed hours ago.

-No!

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"When you're challenged, stick your nose against the grindstone."

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-That explains her flat nose.

-Exactly. We'll show 'em.

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How did we do?

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Paul and Barry have 27!

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Rodney and Davina have 24, so the winner is couple number 10,

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-Paul and Barry!

-Hey-hey! Great. Can we get the trophy

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-and go home now?

-You can't do that!

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There are another two rounds.

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-Eh?

-Haven't you ever taken part in a competition before?

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-Yes. Rotherham's Bonniest Baby.

-And he came third!

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I think I'll win it next time.

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-I was impressed with your jive.

-Thank you very much!

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I think we got off on the wrong foot earlier.

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I apologise, and say, "May the best man win."

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-What do you say?

-Absolutely. He's not so bad after all, Barry.

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Take your partners for the quickstep!

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Ooooooh!

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-Aaagh!

-BANGING AND CRASHING

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-Are you OK?

-I think I've pulled something.

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-Probably this table!

-Help me up, will you?

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Ooh! I need to get back in there, quick!

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And Rodney and Davina have 27.

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-Just a minute!

-What now?

-You can't score that, we weren't here!

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Yes, they can. We finished while you were rearranging furniture!

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I'm afraid the score has to stand.

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This round to Rodney and Davina.

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The next round will decide the championship!

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And that means we've won. He can't compete with an injury,

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not that he's much competition!

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-Let's practise our speech. "It gives me great pleasure..."

-Oh, well.

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Oh, well, nothing! If I can't compete, do it on your own!

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Can't do that. All competitors have to have partners.

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He's right!

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-That's it, then.

-That's it, nothing!

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Would you give us a few minutes, please? Come on.

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Now, due to my unfortunate injury, I can't dance.

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-And you have to have a partner, right?

-Right.

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But nothing says it has to be living, right?

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-I'm not dancing with a skeleton!

-Don't have to. Dummy.

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I beg your pardon?!

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Dummy! Ha ha!

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There you go. Just call it Harold and keep smiling.

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-Well?

-Fine, thanks.

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I mean, well, where is she?

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TANGO MUSIC PLAYS

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There!

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Who's she dancing with?

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Whoever it is moves very well.

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Lovely mover!

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Come on, Davina, we're going to put a stop to this.

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Foul!

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Barry? Barry?

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-Oooh!

-After them, Davina!

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Oh! Ooooh!

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Ooooooh!

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Ooooh!

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Ooooh!

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-MUSIC STOPS

-That's enough of that!

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Rodney and Davina score...

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27 points!

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-Barry and...

-Harold.

-..Harold score...

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28 points!

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And the winners are Barry and Harold!

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-We've won! I knew we could do it!

-WE?!

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-Dame Alice's academy is safe.

-For the time being.

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Come on, Davina, let's get our coats.

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Ooh!

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I can't thank you enough!

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No thanks are necessary.

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-Perhaps a small ta.

-All there's left to do is give you your trophy.

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-I'll get it.

-Ah-teh-teh-teh! Let's do this properly, Barry.

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-Get the red carpet!

-Oh!

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There you are.

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We hope you get all the students you can handle.

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Oh, thank you for that. And I want you to know,

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you'll always have a special place in my heart.

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Oooh, tidy up before you go.

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Ahh! It's a shame they don't get on, really.

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-To us?

-To us.

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Aaaaaagh!

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-CRASH!

-Oh dear, oh dear!

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-THEY ALL GROAN

-Oops!

-Oops!

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You know what you said about them not getting on? They're closer now!

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Call us another ambulance!

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-You're another ambulance!

-Oh!

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Quickstep, I think!

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-What shall I do?

-I'll have to get a sanding machine!

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-I shouldn't say "What shall I do"!

-You ask me after that!

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I've got to put the finishing touches on so Miss...Miss...

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-Miss?

-Dame Miss Alice!

-Miss Alice.

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd 2007

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E-mail [email protected]

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