Cops and Jobbers ChuckleVision

# Chu-Chu-ChuckleVision

# Chu-Chu-ChuckleVision

# Chu-Chu-ChuckleVision

# Chu-Chu-ChuckleVision! #

You get the stuff out. I'll check my bearings.

Stupid thing!

Oh. Now, then.

-Are we in the right place?

-Yes. This is Brunswick Avenue.

-The blockage is somewhere between here and here.

-Where's here and here?

Right. Here's here and the other here is over there.

Now get that lid off.

Who is that?

I've no idea. Better keep an eye on them, though.

They might be rival drain unblockers watching how we do things!

All right.

So if we're MI5, who are those two? MI7?

They better not mess this up for us.

Six months we've been staking this house out.

Go and see if you can find out what they're up to.

-To me.

-To me.

-No, to me.

-No, to me.

-To me.

-BOTH: Oooh.

-'To me.

-To me.'

CLANG!

-I'll get the drain rods.

-Ah, da-da-da-da-da.

-Da-da-da. It's not that easy!

-Isn't it?

-No, you can't go round rodding willy-nilly!

-I wasn't going to.

I was going to rod the drain.

Not without a thorough investigation. Using this.

-What is it?

-A camera. I've adapted it.

It's like doctors use to look inside you.

Not me. You do it. I'll test the compressor.

We may need to give something a blast.

Anything?

Give 'em here. I'll have a listen.

Turn them up a bit.

MOTOR WHIRS Aaaargh!

What are you doing?

Think we've frightened him off.

The Secret Service? I better get rid of these plans.

My list of British agents. I can't wipe that. Where's my memory stick?

Come on, Barry, get pushing!

To you.

To you.

I need to hear what is going on in that house.

Keep going, Barry.

To you, then. To you.

-GURGLING

-There.

Aaargh!

-What's the matter?

-Take a look at that!

It's only a fish.

What's it doing down there?

-Give the camera rod a shove and we'll see.

-Oh.

Wow!

-What's up?

-It's marvellous what you find down drains.

-It's a whole new world.

-Eh?

-Is that what is blocking the drains?

-Oh, no! Pull it out quick!

We're in someone's house! Oh!

Aha. Right. Any minute now.

The names and addresses of every British agent

in every country in the world. Worth millions.

Target is moving about. Signal is going.

Sort it out!

It's very dark. Ooh, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.

-I wish I could.

-One more shove should do it.

Oh, quick, pull it back again! Pull it back!

Oooh.

Oh.

Aaaargh!

-Barry?

-Paul!

-Where are you?

-I'm in the manhole.

-Get out. This is no time to mess about.

-I'm not.

-I need help.

-I've been saying that for years.

-PAUL SIGHS

-Give me your hand.

-Euch.

-Steady, steady.

Come on, come on.

-Come on.

-Oooh!

-SQUELCHING

-Ah. Have you got a tissue?

-No, I haven't.

Would you mind standing downwind of me? We need to scarper

before whoever is on the other end of that rod gets here.

These guys are really good. Make themselves look like idiots

to throw us off the scent. Real pros.

There's movement inside again.

How long does it take to download names and addresses

to a memory stick?

Do you hear that? That must be the list of our agents.

We've got to get hold of that or every one of them will be exposed.

They must be working for the other side.

Trying to get to the target. Here, what they up to now?

-I think we got away with it.

-We haven't unblocked the drains.

-We use our heads.

-I'd rather use the rods.

Look, the blockage wasn't from here to there. Correct?

-Affirmative.

-A simple "correct" will suffice!

It must be at the back of the house. Mmm?

-A simple correct.

-Good. Get the stuff, get round the back

-and get cracking.

-Will you give me a hand?

-I am.

I'll make sure nothing is in your way.

Right. Let's a take a look in that van.

Well, well, well. This is a nice little set-up.

What's this?

SQUEAKING

I'll tell you what,

give it a blast of air with the Chuckleblaster.

-You connect the pipes up.

-Where are you going?

To ask the owner to turn the water on so we get a flow going.

Don't turn that air on until I get back.

-We don't want a repeat of what happened at Sunnydale Drive.

-Ooh.

-The vicar will never be the same.

-No. And get cleaned up.

At last. Who'd think a list of names

would be worth so much to so many people?

Hello?

Anybody there? Hello?

PAUL CHUCKLES Mmm!

WHIRRING

FAINT BEEPING

BEEPING INCREASES

GURGLING

MACHINE BOOMS

Bit more. More!

Did you say something?

-Yes, I did.

-Right, now shove!

We've got one of those.

-I thought you said you invented it.

-I did.

They're inside.

Just as I thought. They're working with him.

-What are you doing here?

-BOTH: Oh!

-Oh!

Somebody is in our van messing with my equipment. Follow me, Barry.

Pardon us.

Time I wasn't here.

Paul.

-Are you sure this is a good idea?

-Course.

-We'll make a citizen's arrest.

-What if they don't want arresting?

You cross that bridge when I come to it.

-Ah! Caught in the act!

-You have been.

-What do you mean?

Obviously, you're trying to steal equipment.

-Why would we want to do that?

-To take over our drain-cleaning business.

Ah.

Yes.

My memory stick!

-Paul.

-Not now. I'm in the middle of a confrontation.

-Who are you working for? Own up.

-The Queen.

The Queen doesn't own a drain-cleaning company.

-Does she?

-No, she doesn't.

We work for Her Majesty's Secret Service. MI5 to you.

BOTH: To us? Yes.

You are both nicked for aiding a double agent. Now, where is he?

There.

I haven't finished with you. Get after him! Quick!

I think it's time we weren't here. Let's get our equipment and scarper.

-Come on, Barry.

-Oh.

No sign of him.

-That's odd.

-Sssh.

-Don't shush me!

-Sssh!

-Anything you say.

He's down there.

SPLASHING

-If he gets to the main sewers, we've lost him.

-I know.

-You go round the front. I've got an idea.

-What have we got to lose?

WATER RUSHING

Aaargh!

Aaargh!

MAN CONTINUES TO SCREAM

Oh. Oh.

That's the blockage sorted out, I think!

-Good work. Stroke of genius, that.

-Was it?

-It was.

-Your country owes you a debt.

-Think nothing of it.

-One does what one can.

-Not you, him.

You can do us a favour and not do what one can ever again!

There may be a reward in the pipeline.

Can we keep it out the pipeline?

I've had enough drains to last me a lifetime!

-He hasn't got the memory stick.

-He did have. We saw him with it.

I wonder where it is.

BOTH: Forget it! You two are the drain brains.

So why don't you get down there and find it?!

Next time we start a business, can we make it something less smelly?

-Euch, we certainly can.

-I think I've got it.

Oh, give it here, then.

That is NOT the memory stick.

Oh, dear, oh, dear. You better wash your hands before dinner.

# Chu-Chu-ChuckleVision

# Chu-Chu-ChuckleVision Chu-Chu-ChuckleVision... #

Ooh. Ha-ha.

..scarper before whoever is on them rods gets out here.

That was gabbled out!

Get the stuff, we'll get crusacking.

-Get what?!

-PAUL JABBERS