Diddy Dick and Dom live in a pink cupboard. Nobody knows they live there, which is probably just as well!
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-I brought him here to show you.
-What's his name?
Hello, Kes! How long you had it?
I've had him since he was a little egg.
Ooh! What make is it?
He's a woodtit.
-Do you want to see him fly?
-Fly! Like the wind!
-You've got a bird!
Come back, Kes! Come back! Come back, Kes!
Aww, little Kes!
-Do you wanna see what else he can do?
-Bounce, Kes, bounce!
Oh! Oh! Ohhh!
-One more trick.
HE GIGGLES Be butch, Kes, be butch!
Ugh! Ooh, tastes like chicken.
-There's no need for that.
-That's just disgusting.
MUSIC: "Spanish Flea" by Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass
-Diddy Dom. Oi!
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? It's very simple.
-I don't care.
-What do you mean?!
-It's an issue on which everyone has an opinion.
-Don't push me!
Do you want the answer?! You can't handle the answer!
All right, I'll tell you.
There's certain things you have to take into consideration.
-Firstly, think about the strength of the woodchuck.
Times that number by the weight of the wood.
Now, divide that by the Richter scale as the wind blows
in a south-easterly-westerly direction,
-where the sun sets to the east.
-Now times that by two hairy badgers.
-Multiply that by wet-nosed weasels.
-Divide that by five, by yellow...
-Times by two fat bluebirds.
-And a hairy chocolate.
-A hairy chocolate?!
The answer is one! One piece of wood!
Oh, hello, little woodchuck.
# How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? #
HE SINGS CONFUSEDLY
Come here, you...!
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd