17/01/2008 Diddy Dick and Dom


17/01/2008

Diddy Dick and Dom live in a pink cupboard. Nobody knows they live there, which is probably just as well!


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Transcript


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-Awwww!

-I brought him here to show you.

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-What's his name?

-Kes.

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Hello, Kes! How long you had it?

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I've had him since he was a little egg.

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Ooh! What make is it?

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He's a woodtit.

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-Do you want to see him fly?

-Oh, yeah!

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-Aaaaah!

-He's flying!

-Wow!

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-Fly! Like the wind!

-You've got a bird!

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Come back, Kes! Come back! Come back, Kes!

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Aww, little Kes!

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-Do you wanna see what else he can do?

-Oh, yeah!

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-Bounce, Kes, bounce!

-What?!

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Oh! Oh! Ohhh!

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-Ahhhh!

-One more trick.

-Wow!

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HE GIGGLES Be butch, Kes, be butch!

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Ugh! Ooh, tastes like chicken.

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TRUMP!

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-Oh, Kes!

-There's no need for that.

-That's just disgusting.

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MUSIC: "Spanish Flea" by Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass

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Whoo, whoo!

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HE GIGGLES

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MUSIC STOPS

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HE SOBS

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-Diddy Dom. Oi!

-Huh?

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

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-What?

-I said...

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? It's very simple.

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-I don't care.

-What do you mean?!

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-It's an issue on which everyone has an opinion.

-Don't push me!

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Do you want the answer?! You can't handle the answer!

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All right, I'll tell you.

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There's certain things you have to take into consideration.

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-Firstly, think about the strength of the woodchuck.

-Woodchuck.

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Times that number by the weight of the wood.

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Now, divide that by the Richter scale as the wind blows

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in a south-easterly-westerly direction,

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-where the sun sets to the east.

-East!

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-Now times that by two hairy badgers.

-Hairy badgers?

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-Multiply that by wet-nosed weasels.

-Wet-nosed weasels?

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-Divide that by five, by yellow...

-Yellow?

-Times by two fat bluebirds.

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-And a hairy chocolate.

-A hairy chocolate?!

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The answer is one! One piece of wood!

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Oh, hello, little woodchuck.

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Ohhh....

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# How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? #

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HE SINGS CONFUSEDLY

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Come here, you...!

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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