Diddy Dick and Dom live in a pink cupboard. Nobody knows they live there, which is probably just as well.
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Just turn on the box.
Ugh! It's that time of year,
when there's nothing but really boring award ceremony-mony-monies.
But, luvvy, we could have our OWN award ceremony-mony-mony this year.
What a good idea, Diddy Dick.
-I wonder what award we could give out... I know one!
Um, the award... for the cheesiest feet
goes to...Diddy Dick!
And the award for the person with the girliest hair cut goes to...
Ladies and gentlemen,
this next award is for the person with the ugliest head.
And it goes to...
Oh, Diddy Dick! Yay!
Right then, the award for the most boring award goes to...
No surprises here. Diddy Dom!
-And the best one is last.
-What's that one, then?
The award for the chump
with the biggest TV thrown at their fat head is...
Thank you very much. Good night!
Konnie ate the tortoise...
and then they went to India.
(What are you doing?)
I'm going to make a fortune, luvvy, writing books.
The secret is to write as many books as possible.
-And these are all the books that I've written today!
-There's one problem.
-They're only two pages long.
-I know, luvvy. That's what's so clever.
The world's shortest books.
-The world's shortest books.
Like "Blue Peter's Most Exciting Moments"!
Or "Andrew Hayden-Smith's Guide To Fashion".
Or "Pies I Haven't Eaten" by Sam and Mark.
-And this is my favourite.
-Yeah, yeah, go on.
"What I Love About Dick And Dom" by Peter Luff MP.
I love it. We're going to be millionaires!
Anyone for a pie?
-Left a bit, left a bit.
-Er, up a bit, up a bit.
-Right a bit, right a bit.
Perfect! That's it. Don't move. I'll be right back.
Don't be too long, luvvy. I'm only small and it's getting very heavy.
-OK, I'm here.
-Now, whatever you do, don't hit my thumb.
Don't worry, luvvy. I won't be hitting your thumb!