22/12/2007 Diddy Dick and Dom
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Transcript
| Line | From | To | |
|---|---|---|---|
. | 1:03:50 | 1:03:57 | |
Just turn on the box. | 1:04:05 | 1:04:07 | |
Ugh! It's that time of year, | 1:04:08 | 1:04:10 | |
when there's nothing but really boring award ceremony-mony-monies. | 1:04:10 | 1:04:15 | |
But, luvvy, we could have our OWN award ceremony-mony-mony this year. | 1:04:15 | 1:04:20 | |
What a good idea, Diddy Dick. | 1:04:20 | 1:04:22 | |
-I wonder what award we could give out... I know one! -What's that? | 1:04:22 | 1:04:26 | |
Um, the award... for the cheesiest feet | 1:04:26 | 1:04:30 | |
goes to...Diddy Dick! | 1:04:30 | 1:04:32 | |
APPLAUSE | 1:04:32 | 1:04:33 | |
And the award for the person with the girliest hair cut goes to... | 1:04:33 | 1:04:38 | |
Diddy Dom! | 1:04:38 | 1:04:40 | |
APPLAUSE | 1:04:40 | 1:04:42 | |
Ladies and gentlemen, | 1:04:42 | 1:04:44 | |
this next award is for the person with the ugliest head. | 1:04:44 | 1:04:48 | |
And it goes to... | 1:04:48 | 1:04:50 | |
Oh, Diddy Dick! Yay! | 1:04:50 | 1:04:54 | |
Right then, the award for the most boring award goes to... | 1:04:54 | 1:04:58 | |
No surprises here. Diddy Dom! | 1:04:58 | 1:05:01 | |
-Boring! -And the best one is last. -What's that one, then? | 1:05:01 | 1:05:05 | |
The award for the chump | 1:05:05 | 1:05:06 | |
with the biggest TV thrown at their fat head is... | 1:05:06 | 1:05:10 | |
-Diddy Dick! -Eh? | 1:05:10 | 1:05:12 | |
YEAH! | 1:05:12 | 1:05:15 | |
Thank you very much. Good night! | 1:05:15 | 1:05:17 | |
Konnie ate the tortoise... | 1:05:23 | 1:05:25 | |
and then they went to India. | 1:05:25 | 1:05:29 | |
Finished! | 1:05:29 | 1:05:31 | |
(What are you doing?) | 1:05:32 | 1:05:34 | |
I'm going to make a fortune, luvvy, writing books. | 1:05:34 | 1:05:38 | |
The secret is to write as many books as possible. | 1:05:38 | 1:05:41 | |
-And these are all the books that I've written today! -Exciting! | 1:05:41 | 1:05:45 | |
-Oh. -What? -There's one problem. -Yes? | 1:05:45 | 1:05:49 | |
-They're only two pages long. -I know, luvvy. That's what's so clever. | 1:05:49 | 1:05:54 | |
The world's shortest books. | 1:05:54 | 1:05:56 | |
-What? -The world's shortest books. | 1:05:57 | 1:05:59 | |
Like "Blue Peter's Most Exciting Moments"! | 1:05:59 | 1:06:03 | |
Or "Andrew Hayden-Smith's Guide To Fashion". | 1:06:03 | 1:06:07 | |
Or "Pies I Haven't Eaten" by Sam and Mark. | 1:06:08 | 1:06:12 | |
-And this is my favourite. -Yeah, yeah, go on. | 1:06:13 | 1:06:16 | |
"What I Love About Dick And Dom" by Peter Luff MP. | 1:06:16 | 1:06:20 | |
THEY LAUGH | 1:06:20 | 1:06:22 | |
I love it. We're going to be millionaires! | 1:06:22 | 1:06:25 | |
Anyone for a pie? | 1:06:26 | 1:06:28 | |
-Left a bit, left a bit. -OK. | 1:06:33 | 1:06:35 | |
-Er, up a bit, up a bit. -Oh, no! | 1:06:35 | 1:06:38 | |
-Right a bit, right a bit. -Yeah? | 1:06:38 | 1:06:40 | |
Perfect! That's it. Don't move. I'll be right back. | 1:06:40 | 1:06:44 | |
Don't be too long, luvvy. I'm only small and it's getting very heavy. | 1:06:44 | 1:06:49 | |
-OK, I'm here. -Now, whatever you do, don't hit my thumb. | 1:06:49 | 1:06:53 | |
Don't worry, luvvy. I won't be hitting your thumb! | 1:06:53 | 1:06:57 | |
Argh! | 1:07:05 | 1:07:06 |
