22/12/2007 Diddy Dick and Dom


22/12/2007

Diddy Dick and Dom live in a pink cupboard. Nobody knows they live there, which is probably just as well.


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Transcript


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1:03:501:03:57

Just turn on the box.

1:04:051:04:07

Ugh! It's that time of year,

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when there's nothing but really boring award ceremony-mony-monies.

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But, luvvy, we could have our OWN award ceremony-mony-mony this year.

1:04:151:04:20

What a good idea, Diddy Dick.

1:04:201:04:22

-I wonder what award we could give out... I know one!

-What's that?

1:04:221:04:26

Um, the award... for the cheesiest feet

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goes to...Diddy Dick!

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APPLAUSE

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And the award for the person with the girliest hair cut goes to...

1:04:331:04:38

Diddy Dom!

1:04:381:04:40

APPLAUSE

1:04:401:04:42

Ladies and gentlemen,

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this next award is for the person with the ugliest head.

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And it goes to...

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Oh, Diddy Dick! Yay!

1:04:501:04:54

Right then, the award for the most boring award goes to...

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No surprises here. Diddy Dom!

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-Boring!

-And the best one is last.

-What's that one, then?

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The award for the chump

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with the biggest TV thrown at their fat head is...

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-Diddy Dick!

-Eh?

1:05:101:05:12

YEAH!

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Thank you very much. Good night!

1:05:151:05:17

Konnie ate the tortoise...

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and then they went to India.

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Finished!

1:05:291:05:31

(What are you doing?)

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I'm going to make a fortune, luvvy, writing books.

1:05:341:05:38

The secret is to write as many books as possible.

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-And these are all the books that I've written today!

-Exciting!

1:05:411:05:45

-Oh.

-What?

-There's one problem.

-Yes?

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-They're only two pages long.

-I know, luvvy. That's what's so clever.

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The world's shortest books.

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-What?

-The world's shortest books.

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Like "Blue Peter's Most Exciting Moments"!

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Or "Andrew Hayden-Smith's Guide To Fashion".

1:06:031:06:07

Or "Pies I Haven't Eaten" by Sam and Mark.

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-And this is my favourite.

-Yeah, yeah, go on.

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"What I Love About Dick And Dom" by Peter Luff MP.

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THEY LAUGH

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I love it. We're going to be millionaires!

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Anyone for a pie?

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-Left a bit, left a bit.

-OK.

1:06:331:06:35

-Er, up a bit, up a bit.

-Oh, no!

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-Right a bit, right a bit.

-Yeah?

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Perfect! That's it. Don't move. I'll be right back.

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Don't be too long, luvvy. I'm only small and it's getting very heavy.

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-OK, I'm here.

-Now, whatever you do, don't hit my thumb.

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Don't worry, luvvy. I won't be hitting your thumb!

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Argh!

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