There Came a Big Spider Grandpa In My Pocket


There Came a Big Spider

Children's comedy about a grandpa who can magically shrink. Grandpa and Elsie make spiders for a puppet play, but great-aunt Loretta goes into a panic.


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Transcript


LineFromTo

-BOTH:

-Not the shrinking cap, Grandpa...

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Catch me if you can!

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TYRES SCREECH

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Come down, Grandpa.

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Ha-ha!

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-BOTH:

-Oh!

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Grandpa!

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-ELSIE:

-It was a quiet day at the Mill on the Marsh.

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There were no guests staying.

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Auntie Joyce and Uncle CJ had taken Wulfy for a long walk.

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And my cousin Jason was going to take Josh fishing.

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-Got the bucket.

-Great.

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'I was making Captain Dumbletwit puppets with Grandpa.'

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What do you think, Elsie?

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Captain Dumbletwit to the rescue!

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Oh! That's great, Grandpa.

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'We were going to do a Captain Dumbletwit puppet show.

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'I was going to be alone with Grandpa all day.'

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-Cooee!

-'Or maybe not.'

-Oh...

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-It's only me!

-'It was Great Aunt Loretta, Grandpa's sister.'

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I've come to do a bit of spring cleaning to help out.

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Well, we're off fishing. So good luck, you two.

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Bring back a nice big fish.

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I'll make a fish pie with orange jelly. Yum!

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You two will have to move out, because I want to clean in here.

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-Look what I've made.

-That is horrid.

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-No, it isn't. It's a space spider.

-Space spiders are friendly.

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Oh. I hate spiders, especially big ones like that. Now, come on!

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Shoo. Come on, shoo!

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Yes. This was the day when...

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'Soon, we'd got everything out in the sitting room,

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'and I had made some more space spiders for our play.'

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These spiders are fantastic, Elsie.

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I don't even want to hear the word "spiders", thank you very much.

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Loretta, this is Sunnysands. There aren't any nasty spiders here.

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These are just pretend.

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Come on, on the balcony. Both of you. I need to clean in here.

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If you're not careful, I will suck up your friendly space spiders!

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SHE HUMS

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'So, we set everything up on the balcony and I made even more

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'space spiders and then we started to practise our play.'

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I'll get you, Dumbletwit. I'll take over the universe.

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Ooh, no, you won't, Diabolical Dave.

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Because I am going to call on my friendly space spiders.

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Space spiders, weave your webs.

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We're weaving, Captain, we're weaving.

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BOTH: Weave, weave!

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Well, you'll have to go and weave in the kitchen.

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I need to be in here. I don't want spiders mucking up the sitting room.

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Eugh. There's even more of them.

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How many spiders do you need for this play? Go on.

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-Shoo.

-Oh, come on.

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'And soon, we had made even more space spiders.'

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The more the better for our story, Elsie. And look.

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I've made Doojit.

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'Doojit is Captain Dumbletwit's alien pet.

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'Soon, Great Aunt Loretta had finished cleaning upstairs.'

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# With a little bit of luck

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# You won't get it stuck

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# Suck up the muck

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# Suck up the muck... #

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'In the kitchen, we were making up more and more of our play.'

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So, Doojit, my trusty alien pet. Round up the spiders.

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We're off to save the universe.

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Spiders, ready to go, Captain.

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We're here. Here. We're here, we're ready.

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Stand by for take-off, spiders.

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That's all I ever hear. Spiders, spiders, spiders! Eugh!

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Now, I'm going to clean in here, so off you go.

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Outside, the pair of you. And take all those awful spiders.

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Really, Loretta.

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-You are impossible.

-I want you gone by the time I get back.

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-I'm going to the...

-SHE MOUTHS

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'Great Aunt Loretta can't say "toilet" out loud

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-'cos she thinks it's rude.'

-Come on, Elsie.

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At least you can't suck up the muck outside.

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'But just then, we heard...'

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LORETTA SCREAMS

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-Now what?

-A spider! A spider

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that's the size of a dustbin lid in the toilet. Oh.

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-It can't be that big, Loretta.

-Ummmm! It's humongous.

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'Great Aunt Loretta shut herself outside

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'and Grandpa picked up a duster and went to rescue the spider.'

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It's OK, Great Aunt Loretta.

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It's more scared of you than you are of it.

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I very much doubt that, Elsie. Ah! He's coming back.

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Oh!

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'Grandpa has carefully rescued the spider in a duster.

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'He put it in a flowerpot.

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Calm down, Loretta. It is not going to hurt you.

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'While Grandpa helped her down we didn't notice this.

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'The spider jumped out of the pot and ran back into the kitchen.'

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I'm going back in. You come in and get that box, Elsie.

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I do not want any more spiders in here. Go along. Out.

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I'm going to shut the door.

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Oh.

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Right. Now, perhaps I can get on.

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'We set all our puppets on the table in the courtyard,

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'while Great Aunt Loretta started cleaning the kitchen.'

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-But suddenly...

-Aarghh!

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Oh, not again!

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It's back. It's back. Or else he's got a friend. Oh!

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It's there, it's there. Now get rid of it.

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I must clear up the guest bedrooms.

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Find it and get rid of it.

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Honestly. There's no way a Sunnysands spider is ever going to do any harm

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to anyone.

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I suppose we'd better look for it.

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'We had no idea where the spider had gone. We couldn't find it anywhere.'

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Oh, it's no good, Elsie. I can't see it anywhere.

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'Upstairs, Great Aunt Loretta had cleared some cups

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'from the guest bedroom.

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'She was just about to put them into upsy-downsy when she saw it.'

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Aargh!

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'The spider scuttled down onto the floor.'

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He must have found his way upstairs.

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There's only one way to see the spider off.

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Not the shrinking cap, Grandpa.

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Catch me if you can.

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'When my Grandpa shrinks, he can get up to all kinds of tricks.

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'He can hide in really small places.

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'His magic can make things go.'

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Come down, Grandpa.

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'And sometimes he dresses up as things and that was his plan today.'

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-Where are you, Grandpa?

-I'm here.

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Give me that space spider, Elsie, quick.

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-Now you go upstairs and look after Loretta.

-OK, Grandpa.

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-'Then Grandpa crawled under the space spider.'

-Ha-ha! Perfect.

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Watch out, Mr Spider. Here I come.

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'And he scuttled out of the room and up the stairs.

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-'And Great Aunt Loretta was still scared.'

-Oh, get rid of it.

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-It's following me.

-Where did it go, Great Aunt Loretta?

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-Over there, that way.

-'Just then I saw Grandpa the spider.

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'I showed him which way the real spider went. And the chase was on.'

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It's OK, Great Aunt Loretta.

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'At that moment, I saw the spider go into a mousehole.

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'And Grandpa followed.'

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I really think you should get down, Great Aunt Loretta.

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But it's on the loose. It's on the loose.

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'And the spider was on the loose,

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-'being chased by Grandpa under the floorboards.'

-I'm coming to get you.

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Oh, he's gone now. We haven't seen him for ages.

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But as soon as Great Aunt Loretta put her foot on the floor,

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out he came.

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Aargh! It's there. Oh!

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SHE WHIMPERS

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-It's after me. I know he is.

-'And then, she did this!'

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SHE SCREAMS

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'Grandpa chased the spider out of the room

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'and all the way down the stairs.'

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It's gone, Great Aunt Loretta. I promise you, it's gone.

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I just saw it go.

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'And then, Grandpa chased the spider right out of the kitchen door.

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'Just as Josh and Jason came home.'

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-Wow! What a huge spi...

-It's me!

-Grandpa?

-What are you doing?

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It's a long story. Oops!

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Ooh, Jason. Am I glad to see you?

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Oooh. Ohhh!

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We, erm...caught a huge fish.

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I bet it wasn't as big as the spider that I've seen today.

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It was humongous. It was in the... (toilet).

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-Oh, have some green gloop. That'll calm you down.

-Oh!

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'Grandpa saw his chance to escape.'

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-You are a good boy.

-'But Great Aunt Loretta saw him.'

-Oh! Aarghh!

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SHE SHRIEKS

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It's just one of my space spider puppets, Great Aunt Loretta.

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That's all very well.

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Those space spiders - they're as bad as the real thing, if you ask me.

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Where is Grandpa when I need him?

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Gone for a little lie down, I suppose.

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'I quickly got Grandpa out from under the space spider...

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'..put him into upsy-downsy and sent him upstairs.'

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-I'll go and get Grandpa.

-OK.

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Oh!

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'So, I went upstairs and got Grandpa out of upsy-downsy.'

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Cap off, Grandpa. Quick.

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Well done for chasing the spider away.

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I couldn't have done it without your help. You know what I call that?

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-Teamwork.

-Teamwork!

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'Later, Grandpa and I were all ready to do our Captain Dumbletwit

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-'puppet show.'

-It's no good. I've had enough spiders for today.

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-I'm off.

-Aren't you going to stay and watch, Loretta?

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It's all right for you, Grandpa.

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You didn't come this close to one today.

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Grandpa and Elsie are making Space Spiders for their Captain Dumbletwit puppet play but, unfortunately, today's the day great-aunt Loretta has decided to spring clean the Mill on the Marsh. Great-aunt Loretta hates spiders, even puppet ones. She moves Grandpa and Elsie all over the house while she cleans, much to their irritation. Then Loretta finds a real, large, harmless spider and goes into a panic.

Grandpa gathers the spider into a duster and puts it outside, but it crawls back in. So Grandpa shrinks, gets under a puppet spider and chases the real spider down the mousehole. Finally, Elsie and Grandpa get the chance to perform their puppet play to Jason, Josh and great-aunt Loretta. But she just can't take any more spiders!


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