There Came a Big Spider Grandpa In My Pocket

-BOTH:

-Not the shrinking cap, Grandpa...

Catch me if you can!

TYRES SCREECH

Come down, Grandpa.

Ha-ha!

-BOTH:

-Oh!

Grandpa!

-ELSIE:

-It was a quiet day at the Mill on the Marsh.

There were no guests staying.

Auntie Joyce and Uncle CJ had taken Wulfy for a long walk.

And my cousin Jason was going to take Josh fishing.

-Got the bucket.

-Great.

'I was making Captain Dumbletwit puppets with Grandpa.'

What do you think, Elsie?

Captain Dumbletwit to the rescue!

Oh! That's great, Grandpa.

'We were going to do a Captain Dumbletwit puppet show.

'I was going to be alone with Grandpa all day.'

-Cooee!

-'Or maybe not.'

-Oh...

-It's only me!

-'It was Great Aunt Loretta, Grandpa's sister.'

I've come to do a bit of spring cleaning to help out.

Well, we're off fishing. So good luck, you two.

Bring back a nice big fish.

I'll make a fish pie with orange jelly. Yum!

You two will have to move out, because I want to clean in here.

-Look what I've made.

-That is horrid.

-No, it isn't. It's a space spider.

-Space spiders are friendly.

Oh. I hate spiders, especially big ones like that. Now, come on!

Shoo. Come on, shoo!

Yes. This was the day when...

'Soon, we'd got everything out in the sitting room,

'and I had made some more space spiders for our play.'

These spiders are fantastic, Elsie.

I don't even want to hear the word "spiders", thank you very much.

Loretta, this is Sunnysands. There aren't any nasty spiders here.

These are just pretend.

Come on, on the balcony. Both of you. I need to clean in here.

If you're not careful, I will suck up your friendly space spiders!

SHE HUMS

'So, we set everything up on the balcony and I made even more

'space spiders and then we started to practise our play.'

I'll get you, Dumbletwit. I'll take over the universe.

Ooh, no, you won't, Diabolical Dave.

Because I am going to call on my friendly space spiders.

Space spiders, weave your webs.

We're weaving, Captain, we're weaving.

BOTH: Weave, weave!

Well, you'll have to go and weave in the kitchen.

I need to be in here. I don't want spiders mucking up the sitting room.

Eugh. There's even more of them.

How many spiders do you need for this play? Go on.

-Shoo.

-Oh, come on.

'And soon, we had made even more space spiders.'

The more the better for our story, Elsie. And look.

I've made Doojit.

'Doojit is Captain Dumbletwit's alien pet.

'Soon, Great Aunt Loretta had finished cleaning upstairs.'

# With a little bit of luck

# You won't get it stuck

# Suck up the muck

# Suck up the muck... #

'In the kitchen, we were making up more and more of our play.'

So, Doojit, my trusty alien pet. Round up the spiders.

We're off to save the universe.

Spiders, ready to go, Captain.

We're here. Here. We're here, we're ready.

Stand by for take-off, spiders.

That's all I ever hear. Spiders, spiders, spiders! Eugh!

Now, I'm going to clean in here, so off you go.

Outside, the pair of you. And take all those awful spiders.

Really, Loretta.

-You are impossible.

-I want you gone by the time I get back.

-I'm going to the...

-SHE MOUTHS

'Great Aunt Loretta can't say "toilet" out loud

-'cos she thinks it's rude.'

-Come on, Elsie.

At least you can't suck up the muck outside.

'But just then, we heard...'

LORETTA SCREAMS

-Now what?

-A spider! A spider

that's the size of a dustbin lid in the toilet. Oh.

-It can't be that big, Loretta.

-Ummmm! It's humongous.

'Great Aunt Loretta shut herself outside

'and Grandpa picked up a duster and went to rescue the spider.'

It's OK, Great Aunt Loretta.

It's more scared of you than you are of it.

I very much doubt that, Elsie. Ah! He's coming back.

Oh!

'Grandpa has carefully rescued the spider in a duster.

'He put it in a flowerpot.

Calm down, Loretta. It is not going to hurt you.

'While Grandpa helped her down we didn't notice this.

'The spider jumped out of the pot and ran back into the kitchen.'

I'm going back in. You come in and get that box, Elsie.

I do not want any more spiders in here. Go along. Out.

I'm going to shut the door.

Oh.

Right. Now, perhaps I can get on.

'We set all our puppets on the table in the courtyard,

'while Great Aunt Loretta started cleaning the kitchen.'

-But suddenly...

-Aarghh!

Oh, not again!

It's back. It's back. Or else he's got a friend. Oh!

It's there, it's there. Now get rid of it.

I must clear up the guest bedrooms.

Find it and get rid of it.

Honestly. There's no way a Sunnysands spider is ever going to do any harm

to anyone.

I suppose we'd better look for it.

'We had no idea where the spider had gone. We couldn't find it anywhere.'

Oh, it's no good, Elsie. I can't see it anywhere.

'Upstairs, Great Aunt Loretta had cleared some cups

'from the guest bedroom.

'She was just about to put them into upsy-downsy when she saw it.'

Aargh!

'The spider scuttled down onto the floor.'

He must have found his way upstairs.

There's only one way to see the spider off.

Not the shrinking cap, Grandpa.

Catch me if you can.

'When my Grandpa shrinks, he can get up to all kinds of tricks.

'He can hide in really small places.

'His magic can make things go.'

Come down, Grandpa.

'And sometimes he dresses up as things and that was his plan today.'

-Where are you, Grandpa?

-I'm here.

Give me that space spider, Elsie, quick.

-Now you go upstairs and look after Loretta.

-OK, Grandpa.

-'Then Grandpa crawled under the space spider.'

-Ha-ha! Perfect.

Watch out, Mr Spider. Here I come.

'And he scuttled out of the room and up the stairs.

-'And Great Aunt Loretta was still scared.'

-Oh, get rid of it.

-It's following me.

-Where did it go, Great Aunt Loretta?

-Over there, that way.

-'Just then I saw Grandpa the spider.

'I showed him which way the real spider went. And the chase was on.'

It's OK, Great Aunt Loretta.

'At that moment, I saw the spider go into a mousehole.

'And Grandpa followed.'

I really think you should get down, Great Aunt Loretta.

But it's on the loose. It's on the loose.

'And the spider was on the loose,

-'being chased by Grandpa under the floorboards.'

-I'm coming to get you.

Oh, he's gone now. We haven't seen him for ages.

But as soon as Great Aunt Loretta put her foot on the floor,

out he came.

Aargh! It's there. Oh!

SHE WHIMPERS

-It's after me. I know he is.

-'And then, she did this!'

SHE SCREAMS

'Grandpa chased the spider out of the room

'and all the way down the stairs.'

It's gone, Great Aunt Loretta. I promise you, it's gone.

I just saw it go.

'And then, Grandpa chased the spider right out of the kitchen door.

'Just as Josh and Jason came home.'

-Wow! What a huge spi...

-It's me!

-Grandpa?

-What are you doing?

It's a long story. Oops!

Ooh, Jason. Am I glad to see you?

Oooh. Ohhh!

We, erm...caught a huge fish.

I bet it wasn't as big as the spider that I've seen today.

It was humongous. It was in the... (toilet).

-Oh, have some green gloop. That'll calm you down.

-Oh!

'Grandpa saw his chance to escape.'

-You are a good boy.

-'But Great Aunt Loretta saw him.'

-Oh! Aarghh!

SHE SHRIEKS

It's just one of my space spider puppets, Great Aunt Loretta.

That's all very well.

Those space spiders - they're as bad as the real thing, if you ask me.

Where is Grandpa when I need him?

Gone for a little lie down, I suppose.

'I quickly got Grandpa out from under the space spider...

'..put him into upsy-downsy and sent him upstairs.'

-I'll go and get Grandpa.

-OK.

Oh!

'So, I went upstairs and got Grandpa out of upsy-downsy.'

Cap off, Grandpa. Quick.

Well done for chasing the spider away.

I couldn't have done it without your help. You know what I call that?

-Teamwork.

-Teamwork!

'Later, Grandpa and I were all ready to do our Captain Dumbletwit

-'puppet show.'

-It's no good. I've had enough spiders for today.

-I'm off.

-Aren't you going to stay and watch, Loretta?

It's all right for you, Grandpa.

You didn't come this close to one today.