Episode 3 HH: Gory Games Play Along

# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing

# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king

# If you're easily scared and don't laugh at poo

# Better turn off This show ain't for you

# Still watching? Then let's test your brains

# With Horrible Histories Gory Games

# Horrible Histories Gory...

# ..Games! #

Hello, and welcome to Gory Games, with me,

Pharaoh Rattus Rattus I.

And me, Dave the Slave. Rattus, this is just for a joke, right?

Yeah, it's just a bit of fun.

Now keep on fanning, slave!

It's time to meet today's Horrible Historians.

Hi, my name's Georgia, and I'm from Reading.

Hello, Georgia.

Hi, I'm William, and I'm from Hampshire.

Hello, William.

Hi, my name's Nyobi, and I'm from London.

Hello, Nyobi.

And tell me, who is this?

I'll let Georgia tell you, O Great One.

This is Jackie,

and she'll be interpreting into sign language for me today.

Oh, hello, Jackie.

-Hello, Rattus. Hello, Dave.

-Hello.

Welcome, everyone.

And you lot are playing to win Year Spheres.

The person with the highest year score at the end of the show

will win a prize picked out of the time sewer by Rattus Rattus.

That's PHARAOH Rattus Rattus.

King of Kings, master of all he surveys.

VOICE ECHOES: Born of Ra and chosen of Ra,

for powerful is the truth of Ra.

Half king, half god.

Rattus Rattus I...

-NORMAL VOICE: ..to you.

-Gotcha.

You can play along at home, too, of course -

just download the Gory Games app from the CBBC website.

It's totally free.

VOICE ECHOES: Pharaoh Rattus Rattus insists you do.

All right, Rattus.

Time to get stuck in, then. What's our first round about?

Let's go over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Measly Middle Ages.

Four questions, then, on the Middle Ages.

The person who gets the most right wins the first Year Sphere.

And your four Middle Ages topics are...

Nyobi, your turn to pick first.

Could we have Wee?

-RATTUS CHUCKLES

-Somehow, I knew that was going to be

the first question asked for. Yes, of course you can.

Let's hear that question.

Is this true or false?

Boys at St Paul's School used to wee into large tubs

so the school could sell it.

Show me your answers now, please.

Wow. Georgia and Nyobi have agreed with each other on false.

William thinks it's true.

What's the answer?

It's...

true!

Yes, it is true.

And the wee would be sold to local leather-makers.

Yes, remind me not to buy a Middle Ages leather jacket.

Well done, William.

The first points of the competition are yours,

and what's more, you get to pick a topic.

Um, I think I'm going to go for Animals.

Animals. Let's hear that question.

True or false -

in the Middle Ages, animals could be tried for, and convicted of, crimes.

I, for one, am hoping that this is false.

Yeah, I bet you are.

So, do you think that's true, or is that false?

Wow. They all think it's true. What's the answer, please?

It's true!

Pigs, bears and locusts were among the animals

that were tried in medieval times.

There were some rats in court as well -

the lawyers.

Do you get it?

The lawyers are the rats.

Ha-ha!

Excellent work, everybody - that's a point for everyone.

And, Georgia, it's your turn to pick a topic.

Tournaments.

Let's have that question.

True or false -

to make sure they'd win tournaments, knights would sometimes

have their squires beat up the opposition beforehand.

True or false -

to make sure they'd win tournaments, knights would sometimes

have their squires beat up the opposition beforehand.

Let's see your answers now, please.

OK.

Nyobi this time thinks it's false.

William and Georgia both think it's true. What's the answer?

It's true!

Apparently.

I never did it.

Maybe...

couple of times.

So much for chivalry.

Congratulations, William and Georgia.

There's only one topic left.

That is Stars, and I have to say, that is a prop question.

# Prop question! Prop question! Prop question! #

Now THAT'S a prop.

True or false -

this vicious Middle Ages weapon was known as a hedgehog.

Coincidentally, I know a vicious hedgehog who's middle aged.

That is coincidence. Not necessarily that interesting, though, Rattus.

Is that true or false?

Let's see your answers, please.

Ah, the girls both think it's true.

William on his own with false.

I can tell you...it is...

false.

Yes - it was known as a morning star.

William, congratulations - there is a point there for you.

And at the end of the round, with a full house,

it's William who wins the first Year Sphere.

VOICE ECHOES: All hail my buddy pyramid-aaah!

Pharaoh Rattus Rattus suggests you choose wisely, young historian.

There it is on the podium.

We'll find out what's in there later on.

Now, winning the Middle Ages quiz means that William

is automatically through to play the Middle Ages game.

But will he be alone, or will everyone else get to play?

Let's find out.

It's an All Play silly game.

So it's off down the time sewer with the lot of you.

-Deal with it.

-Yabba-dabba-doo!

It stinks in here!

It certainly does, Nyobi.

Becoming a knight took 14 years of training,

and your training starts here.

It's time to play...

Knights practised their jousting accuracy by running the rings.

Your challenge - to run the course, hooking one ring at a time,

and bringing it back to your basket.

The first person to collect five rings wins the Year Sphere.

They're under starter's orders... and they're off!

-HORN BLARES

-Right, Rattus, here we go.

Lance-a-Lot is under way,

and who's the first to show?

Well, Georgia's hooked one there, I see.

You've got to hook these rings, then get right round the end,

then deliver the rings to the basket.

Now, William's just gone straight round there.

He's off again, unlike Georgia, who delivers her first ring. Superb.

Well, Nyobi is hot on her heels there,

but what happened to William?

I think he may have dropped one already.

-HORSE WHINNIES

-He's dropped another one.

I mean a ring when I say "dropped one" -

I'm not suggesting he's done a guff.

Heaven forbid.

But Georgia's making this look easy -

she guides in her second ring.

Nyobi not that far behind - can she get this in?

She can. It's two apiece for the girls.

William still looking to get off the mark.

At least he's got one on his pole.

Now, is he going to deliver this ring?

Oh... He just... Yes, he's got it in.

Georgia's up to three rings.

And Nyobi's made it three apiece there.

So it's very close between the two girls at the moment.

Georgia's hooked her fourth, though,

and she is racing down the straight like a thoroughbred.

William there managing to hook another one.

Oh, that's four now for Georgia. She only needs one more!

William's delivered his second. Nyobi makes it four apiece.

Can Georgia make this one count?

She's certainly hooked her last one.

If she can deliver that, the game is hers.

And down it goes,

and Georgia has run the rings

more comfortably than either of her two foes.

Out you come, everyone.

Well played, well played, indeed.

Help yourself, Georgia.

Is it an AD, is it a BC? We'll find out later.

Who knows?

William, what went wrong there?

I just dropped them all. Going too fast.

It was a brilliant race. You all did fantastic.

Dave the Slave, I need you to taste my food for me.

That's what a slave does. To check it's not poisoned.

For heaven's sake, do I have to, Rattus?

Urgh!

That is revolting, Rattus - it's mouldy and it's covered in poo.

You could seriously die from eating that.

I'll take my chances. Raise the platter, slave!

Ohh...

-RATTUS MUNCHES LOUDLY

-Oh!

-RATTUS BURPS

-On to round two, I think.

And to find out what's up next, it's over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Awful Egyptians.

Nyobi, how do you feel about the Awful Egyptians?

Very good.

Bring it on with the Awful Egyptians! William?

Oh, yeah, I think I'm ready - let's go.

-Wow!

-Yes, I'm ready.

-Georgia?

Awful Egyptians is one of my favourites,

so I think I'm going to do well.

Expect high, high quality here.

Four questions again, and here are your all-important Egyptian topics.

So, William, it's your turn to pick a topic this time.

Lead us off.

Ramesses II, please.

Let's hear that question.

The question is...

Was it...?

What's in your passport, Dave?

Un-funny-wunny double act?

RATTUS LAUGHS

Is it A, B or C?

Show me your answers now, please.

Everyone thinks it's C - let's find out if they're right.

The answer is...

Ha-ha-ha! Funny mummy!

Great start to the round there. We've all got a point.

And, Georgia, it's your turn to pick a topic.

Can we have Hieroglyphs, please?

Of course we can. Let's hear the question on hieroglyphs.

It took seven years of training to be an ancient Egyptian scribe.

But what would happen if you made a mistake?

A - you'd be beaten,

B - you'd be starved,

or C - you'd be killed.

I have to say, none of those options are too savoury, are they?

Would you, A - be beaten,

would you, B - be starved,

or would you, C - be killed?

Let's see your answers now, please.

What's the answer?

The answer is A.

You'd be beaten for every mistake.

I should hope so, too.

Well, that is points for Nyobi and William, then,

and Nyobi, it's your turn to pick a topic.

Could I have Cures, please?

Let's have that question.

An Egyptian cure for blindness

was to pour mashed-up what into the patient's nose?

Was it...?

Let's see your answers now, please.

They've all gone for B. What's the answer?

The answer is B.

You use mashed-up pig eyes to cure blindness.

Well done, everybody. More points awarded.

That means that everybody is still in this round,

with one question left.

It's a question on Cats, and this is what it is.

The question is...

Would they...?

Sorry, what was that? My mouth was full.

Never mind. Nothing to worry about.

Let's see some answers now, please.

Nyobi and Georgia have agreed on B.

William in the middle has gone for A.

What is the answer, please?

The answer is...

William, congratulations.

Boom!

Which means you have won another Year Sphere.

Now, you're through to play the Egyptian game, fella,

but will it be just you, or will the others get to play, too?

Let's find out, shall we?

It's an All Play brainy game,

so it's down the time sewer with the lot of you.

-Lead us off, Georgia.

-Yabba-dabba-doo!

Yabba-dabba-don't!

Whoo!

It's crazy in there!

It's time to play that Gory Games classic...

Your challenge is to build a pyramid out of blocks.

But can you order work out what things in go?

Can you work out what order things go in?

That's the fella.

First to finish their pyramid wins the Year Sphere.

So, ready, steady...

-Get building!

-BUZZER BLARES

And they're off. The Great Pyramid of Giza, of course,

is one of the Seven Wonders of the World.

And the eighth is...

Why exactly did you do that to your hair?

No wonder.

The most important thing, Pharaoh Rattus,

is to get this base layer completed, and they're having a good go at it.

Nyobi's struggling.

Georgia's got it done, look at that!

And William's hot on her heels, completing his base layer.

And don't forget to download the Gory Games app

-if you want to join in at home.

-Do it now!

Thanks, Rattus. Georgia's first floor starting to come together now.

William on the right track, of course,

but Nyobi's pyramid, I'm afraid, is struggling.

I feel for Nyobi at this point, Dave,

because she's got some of the slopey-sidey bits

as her base - now that doesn't bode well.

I'm not sure where this is going to go, other than downhill.

Over at Georgia's pyramid,

I'm afraid to report that one of those pieces on her first floor

looks as if it might be the wrong piece, Rattus.

And it doesn't matter how much you push and shove it,

it ain't gonna fit.

That's right, but look at William.

His first floor is looking pretty bang-on to me.

To drag the massive stones used in the actual pyramids,

it would have taken large teams of men.

They should have got my mate Andy.

He can carry 100 times his own weight.

And Andy is...?

-An ant.

-Of course he is.

Georgia, now, still trying to work that second floor,

when it's the first floor that frustratingly needs attention.

And look at this - William seems to have cracked it there.

That was it, that was the key piece.

I don't think anyone's going to catch him now.

He's really motoring.

Two more to go.

Oh, he's dropped that bit, but it's not going to matter.

He's just got the pointy bit to put on the top.

Here it comes.

The pyramid is completed.

-FANFARE

-And look at that dance!

The girls can only look on in appreciation.

That is historically accurate choreography.

Come on, then. Back you come.

Wow, that was a hard-fought contest.

William, help yourself.

That's one of the most well-earned Year Spheres I think I've ever seen.

Yeah. Exhausting.

Now, Pharaoh Rattus, remind me why I'm covered in honey again.

Well, Dave, you're being a honey slave.

In Ancient Egypt, slaves were covered in honey

and sent to the corner of the room, to keep the flies off the Pharaoh.

FLIES BUZZ

Except this Pharaoh wants you near him, so he can eat all the flies.

Come here, you little... HE GULPS LOUDLY

Righty-oh.

Round 3 and it's over to the Gory Grid to find out what's up next.

It's the Savage Stone Age.

-So, four questions, as always.

-Here are your four Stone Age topics.

So, Georgia, your turn to lead us off, pick away.

Toilets.

Toilets! Let's hear that question.

What did cavemen and women use to wipe their bottoms

after they go to loo?

Was it...?

Yeah, I've tried wiping my bottom using rabbit fur once.

The rabbit was furious.

Yep.

So, what do you think? A, B or C?

Let's see your answers now, please.

Wow. Total agreement.

Everybody thinks it's A. What's the answer?

Answer is...

Hedgehog skin? That going to hurt...

Well done, everybody. All off the mark in this round.

Three shiny points. Nyobi, it's your turn to pick.

Could I have Painting, please?

Let's hear that question.

Which of these was used in our cave paint?

Earwax, sloth bogies, ox blood -

a smoothie to die for.

Urgh. Thank you, Rattus. So, is it A, B or C?

Show me some answers now.

Everybody thinks it's C. What's the answer?

Answer is...

Ox wild cos me take blood!

Caveman joke!

Very nearly. Well done, everybody, on maximum score.

William, it is your turn to pick.

Could I have Ice Age, please?

Ice Age question now, please.

I have a question...

So, that's a few noughts, some more noughts, or lots of noughts.

Technically, he's right.

Do you think that's A, B or C?

Show me your answers now, please.

Ooh, a slight difference of opinion. Nyobi thinks it's B.

William and Georgia both think it's C. What's the answer?

The answer is...

Yep. The last ice age in Britain was 10,000 years ago.

Nyobi, well played, you've forged into a very timely lead there.

There's one question left in this round.

It's a question on Britain

and this is what it is.

A species of humans called Homo heidelbergensis

lived in Britain 750,000 years ago, but what was Britain like back then?

Was it...?

POLAR BEAR GRUNTS

HIPPO SNORTS

RAIN PATTERS, DINOSAUR HOWLS

What could it be?

Do you think that's A, B or C?

Let's see some answers now, please.

Complete disagreement. This could be very interesting.

I can tell you...

that the answer is....

So, Georgia has it right.

Hippos, elephants, rhinos and lions

all lived in Britain's lush grassy savannahs 750,000 years ago.

Did you go hunting back then?

No, I was far too old.

Good one! Ha-ha!

Well done, Georgia. That's an extra point for you there,

which means, Nyobi and Georgia, we are in a tie-break situation.

Please write down a number for me here.

Whoever is nearest will win the Year Sphere.

Approximately how many years ago did the woolly mammoth become extinct?

I'll give you a clue -

it was less than 15,000 years ago.

Show me your answers now, please.

The correct answer...

is 10,000 years ago,

exactly what Georgia has written down.

So, Georgia, that means that you collect your second Year Sphere.

Bad luck, Nyobi.

Georgia, as the winner of the Stone Age quiz,

you are through to play the Stone Age game.

But will it be just you, or is everyone coming along too?

Let's find out.

Oh, it's a Single Player, brainy game.

So, Georgia, off down the Time Sewer with you.

Come on, Jackie, you as well.

Sorry, them's the breaks.

Archaeologists have discovered cave paintings

that show Stone Age man made pictures very similar

to modern-day emojis.

Do you know what an emoji is, Dave?

Yes, I do, it's a kind of cheese.

RATTUS SIGHS

Come on, Grandad. It's time to play...

Hashtag Stone Age!

Eight emojis, then, but only five of them are genuine Stone Age symbols.

Your challenge is to guess which five.

You need to choose five emojis and move them to the cave painting.

Whack the boulder with your club to find out how many you've got right.

Keep trying different combinations until you've guessed all five.

But you've got to be quick, as you're against the clock.

Your time starts...now.

HOOTER SOUNDS

Dave, it's true, Stone Age man left messages using emoji-style symbols,

much like we do today.

Yeah, these emojis are around 30,000 years old.

-Did you have a full head of hair back then?

-Leave it.

Hey, Pharaoh Rattus,

imagine what fun they must have had writing messages with emojis.

On their tablets.

Of stone! Ha-ha!

Come on.

Of course, Dave, the viewers at home

can get involved too,

by playing along using the Gory Games app.

-Download it now!

-It's free!

You have three correct.

30 seconds remaining.

So, Georgia has three right and two to change here.

Off comes the sun, what's she going to go for?

There goes a heart. Do you think they'd have known

what a heart actually looked like, Rattus, in the Stone Age days?

Well, if they'd have actually reached in and pulled one out,

yes, I guess they would.

Ha-ha! That one looks like a bottom!

But is that a genuine Stone Age emoji?

You have four correct.

She needs to find one more, then. But does she have time?

The seconds are counting down, she can't decide,

-she's got the hand, but, oh, dear...

-KLAXON SOUNDS

Too bad, Georgia, she's out of time.

And she's hashtag livid, look.

Welcome back. Welcome back. Oh, bad luck.

That was really, really tough, wasn't it?

So, sadly, no Year Sphere for you this time, Georgia.

It's time now, though, for our big All Play Silly End Game.

Over to the Gory Grid to find out what we've got.

It's the Vicious Vikings.

Ooh, it's the Vicious Vikings.

Everybody get back down that Time Sewer, mind yourself.

There we go.

Vikings loved to scoff a few sea bird eggs.

The only problem was, they weren't always easy to collect.

It's time to play...

Cliffhanger!

Your challenge is to scale down the cliff...

Slash - run along the inflatable.

-..whilst attached to a rope...

-Slash - bungee cord.

-..and collect as many sea bird eggs...

-Slash - plastic eggs.

..from the nests as possible. And look out for the seagull.

The first person to collect all of their eggs and the seagull

wins a Year Sphere.

In three...two...one...

HOOTER SOUNDS

Let's get on with Cliffhanger, then, Rattus, and it's already begun.

They've got a flying start here.

What they've got to do is climb down the cliffs,

nick those eggs and then stick them in those nests at the end.

Oh, well, William's lost his nest there,

but don't worry, our friendly Viking is sorting it out.

The eggs will still count.

When the sea birds arrive,

they want to grab hold of them

because Vikings loved to eat sea birds,

-didn't they, Rattus?

-They certainly do, Dave.

I tell you what, this could literally not be closer.

Georgia might just have the edge.

Has a Viking ever mistaken your head

for an albatross egg and tried to steal it?

I'm not going to dignify that with an answer, Pharaoh Rattus.

They are charging up their lane.

Look at that, Nyobi doing brilliantly.

You have to say, William faring spectacularly well too.

This is incredibly close.

It looks like we have experienced egg thieves on our hands here,

but these final eggs are the difficult ones.

The bungee becomes super-tight and they get pinged back relentlessly.

It really is a struggle to reach these final eggs.

And look at that, there's a case in point right there.

It really, really is a tricky game, this.

-GULLS SCREECH

-But wait a minute, here come the seagulls.

Now, they have to get the seagulls as well as the eggs,

it's what order they get them in that could be crucial.

Georgia's got the egg,

she's taking the egg back before attempting the seagull.

Is that going to be wise?

The others have dropped everything, they've gone for the birds first.

Georgia, though, went back for the bird last, but there she goes.

-HOOTER SOUNDS

-She delivers it and she has won Cliffhanger.

And let's have a look at the celebration -

double popster, little bounce.

Back you come, everyone.

Wow, what a hard-fought and close-fought battle that was.

Help yourself, Georgia.

Almost time to count them up.

Nyobi, remember, because you haven't got a negative score,

you could still win this,

because if there's enough BC dates in these spheres here,

your nought could be the winning score.

Time to count them up, then.

Remember, AD years are added, BC years subtracted.

Nyobi, you have scored nought.

Will it be enough?

Let's find out.

William, let's open up that first sphere.

1189 AD. Richard the Lionheart becomes King of England that year.

Let's have a look at the second one.

1858 AD. The construction of Big Ben was completed that year.

Let's have a look at this crucial third and final one.

800 AD. Gunpowder was invented in China that year.

It means, Nyobi, unfortunately,

that William has ended up with a positive score.

William, you have a total of 3,847.

That is what Georgia has to beat.

Georgia, open that first one for us.

Ooh, no, no!

23,000 BC.

Neanderthals died out around about that time.

Let's open the second one.

1599 AD.

Shakespeare's Globe Theatre was opened that year.

And let's have a look at the last one.

1775 AD, the American Revolution began.

Two good spheres to finish with,

but I'm afraid you've finished up with minus 19,626.

Oh, Georgia, that's Horrible History for you.

It's an awful business, but it does mean that, William,

you are today's champion

with 3,847 points.

That means that you are the lucky person

who gets to take home a priceless prize.

And by priceless, I mean completely without value.

It's a lovely loaf of French bread.

-Ordinary loaf?

-Yep.

-Made with flour?

-Well, a kind of flour.

-Made from ground-up human bones!

-Oh, good grief.

In 1590, Paris was under siege and the people were so starving,

they went to the cemeteries and ground up the bones of the dead

to make into bread.

Well, that is one of the most gruesome prizes we have ever had.

So, William, congratulations and, well,

commiserations as well, to be fair.

And I'm afraid, for our unlucky runners-up,

it's time to head home through the Time Sewer.

-Bye, Georgia.

-Bye.

Bye.

Bye, Nyobi.

Urghh!

And don't forget, you can play along next time

if you download the Gory Games app from the CBBC website.

Ohh, yuck!

Well, I have to say, Rattus,

it's been a lot of fun being your slave,

but now I feel it's time to immortalise you,

like a real pharaoh.

-Disgusting!

-With a great big pyramid?

No, by mummifying you, I'm afraid.

-Sorry about this, Jackie, but he's had it coming.

-MUFFLED CRIES

Lovely. I've been Dave Lamb. He's been Pharaoh Rattus.

-MUFFLED YELPING

-Goodbye!

# Horrible Histories Gory...

# Games! #