Episode 8 How to Be Epic @ Everything


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Episode 8

Stephen Graham and Lizzie Gough are amongst an amazing line-up of experts who demonstrate how to curtsey, do a football trick, play air guitar and live with wolves.


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Welcome to the world of epic,

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the place where you can become a master at everything on the planet.

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No matter what it is, this programme shows you how to do it.

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So, sit back, strap yourself in,

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and get ready to become epic at everything!

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Welcome to your total random fix of a epicness.

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We've got an amazing line-up of experts, hotshots,

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and all-round dudes

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with the low-down on how you can do what they can do.

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In just 15 minutes, you'll know how to...

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live with wolves,

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do a beautiful curtsy,

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catch a ball on the back of your neck,

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build the perfect sand castle,

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play air guitar,

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and this kid will show you how to escape from Alcatraz.

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But, before all of that,

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it's time for our first stop on the Epic Express.

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If you're going to throw a party, then this girl can help you out,

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because you want people dancing, don't you?

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And dancing all night long.

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That means you two, too.

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Lucky for you, we've got top DJ B. Traits

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to show you how to get your party pumping.

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Hey, I'm B.Traits, music producer, DJ,

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and radio presenter here at the world-famous BBC Radio 1.

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I've DJ-ed at festivals and clubs all over the world

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and today I'm going to be telling you guys

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a little bit about how to DJ the perfect party.

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Whoo-hoo! Let's party!

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You may think it's all about picking your favourite tunes,

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but there's more to it than that.

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The first thing you want to do is pick an intro track,

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something that will grab your audience's attention.

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This is the one I've picked. MUSIC

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I was going to go for Tom Jones. This is probably cooler.

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The most important thing for DJ-ing a party is to really enjoy the music.

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You don't want to be a DJ who just stands there and looks bored.

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You want to have a good time. Really enjoy the music that you pick.

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OK, B.Traits, let's see you in action.

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Rocking!

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So, your finishing track is almost as important as your intro track.

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For example, I like to end my DJ set on something like this.

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MUSIC: "On A Ragga Tip" by SL2

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Everybody goes crazy to it, everybody sings along.

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It's a perfect ending track.

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TRACK CONTINUES

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And that's how you DJ the perfect party.

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Nice one, B.Traits. See you later.

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That's one blast of epicness done, six more to go.

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Ever wanted to wow your mates with a cool football trick?

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Well, top freestyling legend John Farnworth is here to show you how.

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-Hi there!

-Hi, John.

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I'm going to show you a football freestyling trick

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called the neck stall.

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Looks brutal!

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-So, do you want to know how to do it?

-Yes, please.

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This involves catching the ball on the back of your neck and holding it.

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It should be done from the feet, like this.

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Yikes!

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-While you're learning, it's best to start from hands.

-Oh!

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OK, John. Show us the skills.

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Step one, throw the ball above the head straight in the air,

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-but not too high. Around 30cm.

-Easiest thing I've done all day!

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Step two, position your body as if to head the ball,

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but before the ball hits your head,

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duck down and cushion it on the back of your neck.

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You've got to be kidding! Help me out here, John.

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A good tip to remember is to start in a standing position

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and then bend over so your upper body is parallel to the floor, like this.

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And it's also worth holding the ball in this position

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so you can get used to the balance and the feel.

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Maybe practise this bit in private!

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Once you've mastered the technique, it's time to give this trick a go.

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Start with the feet, flick it up nice and straight...

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Cushion on the neck, keep your back straight, your head up,

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and your arms can be back or stretched out to the side.

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So, to do an epic next neck stall,

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start by throwing the ball straight up, go to head the ball,

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but at the last minute bend over to catch it on your neck.

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Keep your shoulders back to balance the ball.

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Once you get confident, you can even stick in a few new, cool moves.

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Yep, totally useless in a game of football, but outrageously epic.

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And that's how to be epic at the next stall.

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Thank you, John.

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We are taking this right from the H to the T -

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that's head to the toe between me and you.

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Grab your ballet shoes and get on your tippies.

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Ballet is truly epic.

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You get to stand on your toes, twirl around, and wear a tutu...

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HE CLEARS THROAT

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I mean tights. Yeah, it's dead manly.

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Anyway, want to know how to do it like a pro? Watch this girl.

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My name is Lizzie Gough

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and I'm going to show you how to curtsy

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like a prima ballerina.

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Do what? Like who?

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Ah! But how?

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You're going to start off in a ballet position

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which is known as first position, and it looks like this.

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I'm a natural!

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From here, you're going to point your foot to the side

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and you're going to transfer your weight onto this foot

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and open your arms out.

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Got it! Next.

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Then you're going to slide this foot backwards

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and you're going to transfer your weight back up

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and open your hands and point your front foot.

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I thought this was going to be easy!

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Then you're going to close it off back into first position.

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-And, curtsy.

-You're going to point your foot to the side.

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-Oh, there's more!

-You're going to transfer your weight onto this foot.

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At the same time, you're going to bring the back foot behind

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and bend forward and take your arm across.

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Phew! Curtsying is complicated.

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Once more for me.

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So, to curtsy, you need to do this with your arms,

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lots of pointing with your toes, the odd slide,

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and, finally... Yeah, that!

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APPLAUSE

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And that's how you can be epic doing a curtsy.

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Cool moves, Lizzie. I just need to learn how to dance now!

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We're at the halfway point en route to ultimate epicness.

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Get a load of what's still to come.

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Our own king of uselessness shows you how to do this,

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we learn the art of sand-castling,

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and this guy tells us how to make friends with those.

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First, do you want to know how to escape from Alcatraz? Course you do!

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Alcatraz, it's the most epic prison ever.

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In its time, 36 prisoners tried to escape. 33 failed.

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It's now just a tourist attraction in San Francisco,

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so it's unlikely that you'll ever need to know how to escape.

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Or would you?

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Picture the scene.

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You're in class, it's hours to lunch so you decide to chew some gum.

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But your teacher catches you and puts you in detention.

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But it isn't the first time you've been in trouble, is it?

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So this time you're sent to detention...in Alcatraz!

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You need to know how to escape.

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Only three people have ever managed it.

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Here's Hollywood actor and history fan Stephen Graham

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to tell you how to escape this hellhole.

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What do we need, Stephen?

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-Firstly, you need a spoon.

-A spoon?

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You wouldn't have access to any other tools,

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but a spoon you could easily get from the canteen.

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Then, you would have to slowly chip away at the concrete

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in a ventilation grille night after night after night.

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-You still want to do this?

-Er... No.

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Once you go through that,

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it'll take you to the roof,

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where you can start to build your boat.

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Legend has it that the three men that escaped

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used prison raincoats for their raft.

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So, best get your sewing skills up to scratch.

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Now, where's my thimble?

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When you're raft was ready,

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all you had to do was make the perfect dummy

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which looked exactly like you.

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-So you could leave it in your bed to fool the guards.

-OK. Now what?

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Simply escape through your covered hole,

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climb the water pipes to the roof, collect your raft,

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climb 50 metres down to the ground,

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inflate your raft with a stolen accordion...

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Accordion? What?

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And then, set sail.

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You'd have to paddle like crazy until you see daylight.

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Then, it's time to see where you ended up.

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Hurray! Tenerife!

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Oh, no. It's Alcatraz.

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-That is how to escape from Alcatraz.

-Thank you, Stephen.

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From prisons to castles - of the sand variety. Ever made one?

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Of course you have. Was it epic? Probably not.

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So, you're ashamed of your sand castles? Desperate to do better?

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There is only one man you need to call.

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Expert in all things seasidey,

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he's a marine biologist and he's epic.

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Hi, I'm Blowfish.

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Anyone can build a sand castle,

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but if you follow my instructions,

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-you're going to build an epic one.

-Epic!

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This is the most important part, so listen up.

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You need to get the perfect mixture. Here's a Blowfish top tip.

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I use one part water to eight parts sand

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and I get some cracking results.

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-A level, flattened base always works best.

-Done! What's next?

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-Carve the sound using the best tool you have.

-A spade.

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-Your hands.

-Really?

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They'll allow you to sculpt the sand

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and compact it without affecting its structural integrity.

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Inner what?

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When you've finished, take a stake step back

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and admire your awesome work.

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That's how to build an epic sand castle.

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Or a mound of sand with "epic" written in it. Thanks, Fish.

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From our resident Metallica-loving marine biologist

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to our rock-righteous king of all things brilliantly useless.

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Today, he is off the chart.

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He's the Prince of Pointlessness, the Emperor of the Absurd,

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the Saint of Silliness.

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He's Max Byrne, and he's always got a trick

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that's totally useless but brilliant!

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WAH!

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This time, you'll need an invisible guitar.

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-The best thing about air guitar is that there's no rules.

-Whoo-hoo!

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-Apart from these three.

-Oh.

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One is technical. That's your basic strum.

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To your lick.

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MUSIC

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Strum, lick. Got it!

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Two, is stage presence. I'm better than you.

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How's it going? Yes, I am. Ah!

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Go, Max! Go!

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And, three, is my elastic guitar.

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This better be good.

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ELECTRIC GUITAR SCREECHES

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And, it is! Max Byrne, Rock God.

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-Put them all together. This is what you get.

-Rocktastic!

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-How's it going?

-I'm all right, thank you.

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Thanks, Max.

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Today's dose of epicness is almost over.

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But chill out and get your chin up, there's still time for one more hit.

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And this one's a howler.

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Wolves are epic.

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They have their own TV show.

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They run and eat lettuce.

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I mean, raw meat.

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Wolves can snarl, howl,

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and even ride quad bikes.

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Oh, no, sorry, that's Shaun Ellis.

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He's not a wolf but a wolfman, the only human ever - I think -

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to become part of a wolf pack,

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and now he's going to teach you how you can do it.

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But please don't try it. Seriously.

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HE HOWLS

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Hi, my name's Shaun Ellis, and I'm going to teach you

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how to be part of a wolf pack.

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What? Nooooo!

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As you can imagine, it's never easy to become part of a wolf family.

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You can take the animal from the wild,

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but you can never take the wild from the animal.

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OK, wild animals are dangerous but, hypothetically,

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here's how to go about living with wolves. Step one.

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The first thing you have to remember

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when you come and join a pack of wolves is

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you have to smell like them.

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-You can't smell like a human.

-Done.

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A good tip for this is not to have a wash,

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not to wear strong perfumes or aftershaves.

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Smell of them and the environment they live in.

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OK, I'm stinky. Step two, how do we approach these furry beasts?

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Wolves can hear your heart rate from some five to ten metres away,

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so if you're nervous or upset or even angry with them,

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-they pick that up very, very quickly.

-Uh-oh!

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Each wolf has its own individual howl.

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I have mine, they have theirs,

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so it's important that you perfect yours.

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HE HOWLS

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THEY HOWL

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NARRATOR HOWLS THEN COUGHS

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I'll keep practising. Step three - meal time.

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In order to live with wolves, you have to eat with wolves,

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and this can be a little bit of a messy business.

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You should try eating round my mum's!

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Don't be rude, Shaun, who's your family?

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The individual pack members we've got here is Nata,

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the dominant male, the decision-making male.

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Cheyenne, our dominant female.

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She would make decisions on what to provide for the pack,

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which in the wild would include this meal.

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We then have Teejas, the black wolf over here.

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He's the minder, the muscle in the pack,

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and it's his job to look after these guys and me. And in the wild,

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he would lay down his own life to make sure that these guys survive.

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Fair play. Now, what's for dinner?

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You can see I'm not actually eating...

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-HE GROWLS

-Temper, temper.

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..any of this meal. But I do have to be prepared to defend

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what I would be eating normally.

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It's a bit tense.

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And that's how to be part of a wolf pack.

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Thank you, Shaun. Has anyone ever told you you've got a lovely smile?

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Right, that brings us to the end of 15 minutes of total random epicness.

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You should now be able to try this...

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And this...

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That...

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And that... This...

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This... And even that.

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Now, go forth and be epic at everything!

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Stephen Graham and Fergus Flanagan are amongst an amazing line-up of experts who demonstrate how to curtsey, do a football trick, play air guitar, escape from Alcatraz, build a sandcastle, DJ the perfect party and live with wolves.