Episode 8 How to Be Epic @ Everything

Welcome to the world of epic,

the place where you can become a master at everything on the planet.

No matter what it is, this programme shows you how to do it.

So, sit back, strap yourself in,

and get ready to become epic at everything!

Welcome to your total random fix of a epicness.

We've got an amazing line-up of experts, hotshots,

and all-round dudes

with the low-down on how you can do what they can do.

In just 15 minutes, you'll know how to...

live with wolves,

do a beautiful curtsy,

catch a ball on the back of your neck,

build the perfect sand castle,

play air guitar,

and this kid will show you how to escape from Alcatraz.

But, before all of that,

it's time for our first stop on the Epic Express.

If you're going to throw a party, then this girl can help you out,

because you want people dancing, don't you?

And dancing all night long.

That means you two, too.

Lucky for you, we've got top DJ B. Traits

to show you how to get your party pumping.

Hey, I'm B.Traits, music producer, DJ,

and radio presenter here at the world-famous BBC Radio 1.

I've DJ-ed at festivals and clubs all over the world

and today I'm going to be telling you guys

a little bit about how to DJ the perfect party.

Whoo-hoo! Let's party!

You may think it's all about picking your favourite tunes,

but there's more to it than that.

The first thing you want to do is pick an intro track,

something that will grab your audience's attention.

This is the one I've picked. MUSIC

I was going to go for Tom Jones. This is probably cooler.

The most important thing for DJ-ing a party is to really enjoy the music.

You don't want to be a DJ who just stands there and looks bored.

You want to have a good time. Really enjoy the music that you pick.

OK, B.Traits, let's see you in action.

Rocking!

So, your finishing track is almost as important as your intro track.

For example, I like to end my DJ set on something like this.

MUSIC: "On A Ragga Tip" by SL2

Everybody goes crazy to it, everybody sings along.

It's a perfect ending track.

TRACK CONTINUES

And that's how you DJ the perfect party.

Nice one, B.Traits. See you later.

That's one blast of epicness done, six more to go.

Ever wanted to wow your mates with a cool football trick?

Well, top freestyling legend John Farnworth is here to show you how.

-Hi there!

-Hi, John.

I'm going to show you a football freestyling trick

called the neck stall.

Looks brutal!

-So, do you want to know how to do it?

-Yes, please.

This involves catching the ball on the back of your neck and holding it.

It should be done from the feet, like this.

Yikes!

-While you're learning, it's best to start from hands.

-Oh!

OK, John. Show us the skills.

Step one, throw the ball above the head straight in the air,

-but not too high. Around 30cm.

-Easiest thing I've done all day!

Step two, position your body as if to head the ball,

but before the ball hits your head,

duck down and cushion it on the back of your neck.

You've got to be kidding! Help me out here, John.

A good tip to remember is to start in a standing position

and then bend over so your upper body is parallel to the floor, like this.

And it's also worth holding the ball in this position

so you can get used to the balance and the feel.

Maybe practise this bit in private!

Once you've mastered the technique, it's time to give this trick a go.

Start with the feet, flick it up nice and straight...

Cushion on the neck, keep your back straight, your head up,

and your arms can be back or stretched out to the side.

So, to do an epic next neck stall,

start by throwing the ball straight up, go to head the ball,

but at the last minute bend over to catch it on your neck.

Keep your shoulders back to balance the ball.

Once you get confident, you can even stick in a few new, cool moves.

Yep, totally useless in a game of football, but outrageously epic.

And that's how to be epic at the next stall.

Thank you, John.

We are taking this right from the H to the T -

that's head to the toe between me and you.

Grab your ballet shoes and get on your tippies.

Ballet is truly epic.

You get to stand on your toes, twirl around, and wear a tutu...

HE CLEARS THROAT

I mean tights. Yeah, it's dead manly.

Anyway, want to know how to do it like a pro? Watch this girl.

My name is Lizzie Gough

and I'm going to show you how to curtsy

like a prima ballerina.

Do what? Like who?

Ah! But how?

You're going to start off in a ballet position

which is known as first position, and it looks like this.

I'm a natural!

From here, you're going to point your foot to the side

and you're going to transfer your weight onto this foot

and open your arms out.

Got it! Next.

Then you're going to slide this foot backwards

and you're going to transfer your weight back up

and open your hands and point your front foot.

I thought this was going to be easy!

Then you're going to close it off back into first position.

-And, curtsy.

-You're going to point your foot to the side.

-Oh, there's more!

-You're going to transfer your weight onto this foot.

At the same time, you're going to bring the back foot behind

and bend forward and take your arm across.

Phew! Curtsying is complicated.

Once more for me.

So, to curtsy, you need to do this with your arms,

lots of pointing with your toes, the odd slide,

and, finally... Yeah, that!

APPLAUSE

And that's how you can be epic doing a curtsy.

Cool moves, Lizzie. I just need to learn how to dance now!

We're at the halfway point en route to ultimate epicness.

Get a load of what's still to come.

Our own king of uselessness shows you how to do this,

we learn the art of sand-castling,

and this guy tells us how to make friends with those.

First, do you want to know how to escape from Alcatraz? Course you do!

Alcatraz, it's the most epic prison ever.

In its time, 36 prisoners tried to escape. 33 failed.

It's now just a tourist attraction in San Francisco,

so it's unlikely that you'll ever need to know how to escape.

Or would you?

Picture the scene.

You're in class, it's hours to lunch so you decide to chew some gum.

But your teacher catches you and puts you in detention.

But it isn't the first time you've been in trouble, is it?

So this time you're sent to detention...in Alcatraz!

You need to know how to escape.

Only three people have ever managed it.

Here's Hollywood actor and history fan Stephen Graham

to tell you how to escape this hellhole.

What do we need, Stephen?

-Firstly, you need a spoon.

-A spoon?

You wouldn't have access to any other tools,

but a spoon you could easily get from the canteen.

Then, you would have to slowly chip away at the concrete

in a ventilation grille night after night after night.

-You still want to do this?

-Er... No.

Once you go through that,

it'll take you to the roof,

where you can start to build your boat.

Legend has it that the three men that escaped

used prison raincoats for their raft.

So, best get your sewing skills up to scratch.

Now, where's my thimble?

When you're raft was ready,

all you had to do was make the perfect dummy

which looked exactly like you.

-So you could leave it in your bed to fool the guards.

-OK. Now what?

Simply escape through your covered hole,

climb the water pipes to the roof, collect your raft,

climb 50 metres down to the ground,

inflate your raft with a stolen accordion...

Accordion? What?

And then, set sail.

You'd have to paddle like crazy until you see daylight.

Then, it's time to see where you ended up.

Hurray! Tenerife!

Oh, no. It's Alcatraz.

-That is how to escape from Alcatraz.

-Thank you, Stephen.

From prisons to castles - of the sand variety. Ever made one?

Of course you have. Was it epic? Probably not.

So, you're ashamed of your sand castles? Desperate to do better?

There is only one man you need to call.

Expert in all things seasidey,

he's a marine biologist and he's epic.

Hi, I'm Blowfish.

Anyone can build a sand castle,

but if you follow my instructions,

-you're going to build an epic one.

-Epic!

This is the most important part, so listen up.

You need to get the perfect mixture. Here's a Blowfish top tip.

I use one part water to eight parts sand

and I get some cracking results.

-A level, flattened base always works best.

-Done! What's next?

-Carve the sound using the best tool you have.

-A spade.

-Your hands.

-Really?

They'll allow you to sculpt the sand

and compact it without affecting its structural integrity.

Inner what?

When you've finished, take a stake step back

and admire your awesome work.

That's how to build an epic sand castle.

Or a mound of sand with "epic" written in it. Thanks, Fish.

From our resident Metallica-loving marine biologist

to our rock-righteous king of all things brilliantly useless.

Today, he is off the chart.

He's the Prince of Pointlessness, the Emperor of the Absurd,

the Saint of Silliness.

He's Max Byrne, and he's always got a trick

that's totally useless but brilliant!

WAH!

This time, you'll need an invisible guitar.

-The best thing about air guitar is that there's no rules.

-Whoo-hoo!

-Apart from these three.

-Oh.

One is technical. That's your basic strum.

To your lick.

MUSIC

Strum, lick. Got it!

Two, is stage presence. I'm better than you.

How's it going? Yes, I am. Ah!

Go, Max! Go!

And, three, is my elastic guitar.

This better be good.

ELECTRIC GUITAR SCREECHES

And, it is! Max Byrne, Rock God.

-Put them all together. This is what you get.

-Rocktastic!

-How's it going?

-I'm all right, thank you.

Thanks, Max.

Today's dose of epicness is almost over.

But chill out and get your chin up, there's still time for one more hit.

And this one's a howler.

Wolves are epic.

They have their own TV show.

They run and eat lettuce.

I mean, raw meat.

Wolves can snarl, howl,

and even ride quad bikes.

Oh, no, sorry, that's Shaun Ellis.

He's not a wolf but a wolfman, the only human ever - I think -

to become part of a wolf pack,

and now he's going to teach you how you can do it.

But please don't try it. Seriously.

HE HOWLS

Hi, my name's Shaun Ellis, and I'm going to teach you

how to be part of a wolf pack.

What? Nooooo!

As you can imagine, it's never easy to become part of a wolf family.

You can take the animal from the wild,

but you can never take the wild from the animal.

OK, wild animals are dangerous but, hypothetically,

here's how to go about living with wolves. Step one.

The first thing you have to remember

when you come and join a pack of wolves is

you have to smell like them.

-You can't smell like a human.

-Done.

A good tip for this is not to have a wash,

not to wear strong perfumes or aftershaves.

Smell of them and the environment they live in.

OK, I'm stinky. Step two, how do we approach these furry beasts?

Wolves can hear your heart rate from some five to ten metres away,

so if you're nervous or upset or even angry with them,

-they pick that up very, very quickly.

-Uh-oh!

Each wolf has its own individual howl.

I have mine, they have theirs,

so it's important that you perfect yours.

HE HOWLS

THEY HOWL

NARRATOR HOWLS THEN COUGHS

I'll keep practising. Step three - meal time.

In order to live with wolves, you have to eat with wolves,

and this can be a little bit of a messy business.

You should try eating round my mum's!

Don't be rude, Shaun, who's your family?

The individual pack members we've got here is Nata,

the dominant male, the decision-making male.

Cheyenne, our dominant female.

She would make decisions on what to provide for the pack,

which in the wild would include this meal.

We then have Teejas, the black wolf over here.

He's the minder, the muscle in the pack,

and it's his job to look after these guys and me. And in the wild,

he would lay down his own life to make sure that these guys survive.

Fair play. Now, what's for dinner?

You can see I'm not actually eating...

-HE GROWLS

-Temper, temper.

..any of this meal. But I do have to be prepared to defend

what I would be eating normally.

It's a bit tense.

And that's how to be part of a wolf pack.

Thank you, Shaun. Has anyone ever told you you've got a lovely smile?

Right, that brings us to the end of 15 minutes of total random epicness.

You should now be able to try this...

And this...

That...

And that... This...

This... And even that.

Now, go forth and be epic at everything!