Stratford-upon-Avon Jedward's Big Adventure

-Just when you thought it was safe...

-John, I remember when we

were toddlers, we were so cute.

..the Jedward boys are back to surprise the nation's tourists...

Chicken burger and chips.

I need you to take this seriously! We need to win!

..and compete head-to-head to see who will be the best tour guide.

Mary Arden was actually related to...

She was an aunt of some sort.

Who will get a standing ovation?

What else happened? Em...

And who will be booed off stage?

I don't think they really knew what they were talking about.

It's Jedward's Big Adventure!

You have it! I don't want it, John! Take it!

# Come with us, there's so much to discover

# Crazy adventures with me and my brother

# We'll take on things that will freak you out

# Cos this is Jedward's Big Adventure

# Be your tour guides, there's so much to do

# There's a whole planet out there and it's just for you

# Never know what you'll find and we'll mess with your mind

# Hair-raising, trail-blazing, totally wild

# Jedward's Big Adventure. #

Stratford-upon-Avon - the birthplace of William Shakespeare.

This charming market town has something for everyone -

history, culture...

and Jedward?!

We're here, Edward! This must be Stratford!

John, I'm so excited about meeting will.i.am.

Edward, Stratford is actually the birthplace of William Shakespeare!

Not will.i.am.

Aw, John, do you think this guy, William Shakespeare,

will give me an autograph?

I'm sure, back in the day, he would have,

-but do you want to know something?

-What?

-He's dead.

It's our mission, let's see what it says, Edward.

"Dear Jedward, in just 24 hours' time, you'll each have to give

"a group of tourists a guided tour of Stratford-upon-Avon.

"You'll be telling them all about the amazing history

"of the birthplace of William Shakespeare."

Awesome, John.

"Whoever gives the best tour will get to try their hand at falconry."

Amazing. Birds of prey.

"But whoever loses will get a face full of rotten vegetables...

"..thrown by angry peasants."

-John, we're going to need some help.

-You're right, Edward.

I wish celebrities would just pop out from the sky

and save the day like a superhero.

It's Dominique Moore from Horrible Histories!

And Bobby Lockwood from Wolfblood!

-We were just going to see a show.

-Do you guys want to come?

Love to go see a show, but there's a show that needs you a lot more -

Jedward's Big Adventure.

-Can you guys help?

-Yeah, why not.

Up here. Nice.

So, what do you guys know about Stratford?

-Um...

-Oh...

-I think it's fair to say I know nearly nothing.

I probably know less than Dominique, so...

John, I think we need to find some real experts.

These guys don't know anything.

You guys relax, while we go get the facts. Let's go!

Tomorrow, John and Edward will be leading a group of tourists

around the historic town of Stratford-upon-Avon -

a place they know nothing about.

John will be helped by Bobby,

whilst Edward will be with Dominique.

Each team will be given three stories which the

tourists will be tested on.

It's time to meet their first expert at the world-famous Swan Theatre,

home of the Royal Shakespeare Company, or RSC for short.

There she is - Jackie! Wherefore art thou, Jackie?

She knows all there is to know about Shakespeare.

What can you tell us about William Shakespeare?

Well, he's probably the most famous playwright in the entire world.

William Shakespeare is considered to be

the greatest playwright of all time.

He wrote 37 plays, including Romeo and Juliet and Macbeth,

as well 154 sonnets or poems.

Even though Shakespeare lived over 400 years ago,

we till use many of the words and phrases that he wrote,

such as "love is blind", "off with his head", "green-eyed jealously",

"the Queen's English", "it's Greek to me",

and even "a wild goose chase."

Wow, William Shakespeare was awesome.

What else can you tell us about the RSC?

-We've had some very famous people perform for us.

-Like who?

-David Tennant, Sir Ian McKellen...

-That's like having Dr Who and...

-Gandalf.

-..in one play. That's amazing.

(Edward, can you ask Jackie if we can go see the costumes?)

Jackie, John just whispered to me but I think you can hear him.

We really want to try on the costumes! Please?!

-Yes, of course you can.

-Let's do it, Jackie. Lead the way.

Oh, it's dressing up time.

What is going on?

Yes... Very fetching, boys(!)

How about some new hair?

Exit stage right to the wigs department, please.

So, we have hair, all sorts of coloured hairs.

This is fine lace, so you would put the hair into the lace,

make a little knot and pull it through.

But the thing is, we do it one at a time.

You guys don't just make basic wigs.

We're not like your high street hairdresser,

so we have to have a very good grounding of period hairstyles.

-Wow.

-Amazing.

-It looks like Jedward, but together on one head.

Oh, dear, what a thought.

Argh!

On that note, it's time to move on.

Next, they're off to Shakespeare's birthplace to meet Jenny.

Where's Jenny?

There she is! Nice outfit.

-What's up?!

-Hi, guys.

Are you Shakespeare's mum?

-I'm not that old.

-Are you his girlfriend?

-I'm not that old either.

OK, then, what are you and what is this place?

This floor that you are standing on right now is the floor that

was in here when William Shakespeare was 11 years old.

So, you're literally standing in Shakespeare's footsteps.

This is where Shakespeare used to walk the walk,

talk the talk, break it down.

But it's interesting to know that Shakespeare's father John

was a little bit of a dodgy geezer.

William Shakespeare's father John had lots of jobs -

glove maker, leather tanner, grain and wool merchant.

He was even a town mayor.

He was known as a bit of a wheeler dealer who ended up losing

a lot of money through dodgy deals.

The leather workshop at Shakespeare's house would

have been a really smelly place.

People would bring their pee to tan the leather his father made.

Those with red hair got more money for their pee than others.

Queen Elizabeth I was on the throne at the time, and as she

had ginger hair, pee from redheads was thought to be more valuable.

Aw! That's gross. They were selling their own pee?

I've got to find myself some pee.

Guys, there's loads more to see in Shakespeare's house.

-Let's go and see John Shakespeare's workshop.

-Lead the way, Jenny.

So, what did they make here?

They made gloves which they would have sold out of the window

-straight out onto the street.

-Amazing.

-This is where we use all the pee...

-Pee?!

All of the pee that we have,

you would put the leather into the pee to get rid of all that flesh and

all the hairs, and then after that,

maybe you'd like to try one of these on.

-I'm OK.

-Are you sure?

Cos after that, you would rub plenty of dog poo onto the leather

to make it nice and soft.

This is getting worse and worse.

Pee, dog poo, what's next?

-Poetry.

-Yeah.

Anglaise! Hurrah!

Yes, hurrah!

Upstairs now to find out about Tudor bedrooms.

Jenny, there's a bed here.

Can I go and take a Jed-nap? Cos I'm kinda tired right now.

-Well, guys, I'm afraid you can't lie flat in this bed.

-Why not? Please?

No. Most of the Tudors slept slightly sitting up.

Why did they sleep sitting up?

Cos they didn't want to wreck their cool hair?

Actually, it's because of them had really bad chesty coughs.

HE COUGHS

Beds were big business in Shakespeare's day.

Having a fancy bed was like owning a blinging sports car.

It could cost up to a year's salary.

The phrase "sleep tight" comes from the ropes that supported Tudor beds.

You had to tighten the ropes before you got into bed

so that you didn't fall through.

Four poster beds with roofs became popular in Tudor times.

They were made to stop creepy crawlies falling from the thatch

and into sleepers' mouths.

Many people would have had bad chests

because of the smoke from open fires in houses.

To avoid coughing all night, people slept sitting upright,

thus Tudor beds were shorter than modern day ones.

Urgh, bugs in your mouth, that would not be nice.

Well, guys, if you think that was bad,

there were lots and lots of superstitions regarding bedrooms.

They were quite frightened that the fairies would steal the boys

away during the night.

So they used to dress the little boys as little girls.

That is not cool.

How could a tiny little fairy just magically take someone?

The fairy must be doing lots of weights!

The fairies in Tudor times were not nice with little wings,

and all pink and sparkly... They were quite evil and nasty,

and there were trolls in the dairy, and the devil up the chimney...

-So they weren't like Tinkerbell?

-They definitely weren't like tinkerbell.

-OK.

-So with all of this superstition and inspiration around,

it's not surprising that Shakespeare wrote so many cool plays.

Boo!

My thoughts exactly.

The boys are... Oh, there he goes.

They're halfway through their tours about Shakespeare

and appear to be learning quite a lot.

But whilst Jedward are fact finding,

what are Dominique and Bobby getting up to?

Shakespeare is brilliant, but it can be a bit confusing.

-It's all Greek to me!

-Yep, Shakespeare said that.

-Blimey.

See, if Shakespeare's confused, then Jedward are in trouble.

No, "it's all Greek to me"

is a phrase that Shakespeare came up with.

Oh, right.

-I still think Jedward are in trouble.

-Quite possibly, Bobby.

They've left town and appear to be on a farm.

Are they lost?

Oh, no, they're there to meet the next expert.

No, not him.

Her! That's right. Mistress Alice.

This place is absolutely amazing. What went on here?

Mary Arden was Shakespeare's mother.

She brought young William here when he was a baby.

Can you guess why?

It's thought that as a baby William might have been taken

to his mother Mary's childhood home - Arden's farm near Stratford.

This was in order to escape the plague,

which had killed four of his brothers and sisters.

So it's remarkable that William survived at all.

The nation had experienced outbreaks of plague from the 1300s,

and by Shakespeare's time, in the 16th century,

millions had died from it.

Lots of strange remedies were attempted to cure the plague,

such as bloodsucking leeches, washing in vinegar,

-and even wearing a toad around your neck.

-GRIBBET!

-John, we've got more facts to learn.

-I can't believe it.

-They had a toad around their neck.

-I have my own plague charm, look.

-What is that?

-This...

-is a dragon's tooth.

-I've got a leaf.

That would work too, young master.

-But do you know the symptoms of the plague?

-What's the symptoms.

-Do you feel tired?

-Yes.

-Dizzy?

-Yes.

Do you have big boils on your neck or under your armpits?

I have a spot right there!

-Is it turning black?

-It's red.

It starts off red, then it fills with blood,

and then it goes black, and then...

It explodes like...

..you die.

Oh, no! You better keep that leaf close, Edward.

Time to move on.

Us Tudors, we only have one set of outer clothes,

and our linens have to be washed every day.

Are you ready to do the Tudor washing?

Whatever you say, Mistress Alice, let's do it!

What do I do with this?

You batter the washing with it, as hard as you can. That's it!

Oh, harder! Come on! Put some welly into it.

And stop!

A Tudor housewife was judged by the whiteness of her linens.

-Do you know what she used to get them really white?

-What did you use?

-Urine.

-Oh, these people back then

must have all smelled so bad. Like pee!

No, young masters, they wouldn't smell.

Once you have washed and bleached your linen, you rinse it.

Yuck! That's quite enough talk about pee, thank you.

Time for quick break and some fun on the farm.

You're twins, we're twins. Why can't we be friends?

John, he's got a curled tail, that must mean he's happy.

I'm John, you're pig, and together we are Jpig.

Jpig indeed!

Back to the fact-finding, please, boys.

We're here in the heart of the kitchen,

where William Shakespeare walked in like, "Yo, yo, yo!"

Writing stuff... "I'm kinda hungry, I need my energy."

Do you know what Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth commanded all her

subjects to eat three times a week?

-Melon?

-Jellybeans?

-Lemons?

-Chocolate?

-No jellybeans, no chocolate.

-Christmas pudding?

-No!

-Tell us.

-It was fish.

In Shakespeare's day, you had to eat fish three times a week.

Once on Fridays, for religious reasons,

and twice more because the Queen said so.

Queen Elizabeth I wanted to build a strong navy to protect

England from the Spanish Armada.

But when the navy weren't fighting, she had to keep them in a job.

So they went fishing...a lot...for the whole country.

Water wasn't safe to drink in Tudor times,

so the people drank ale instead, even babies.

The weakest sort of ale was called toddler ale

and was given to infants.

That's where we get the word toddler from,

as it made them toddle about.

John, I remember when we were toddlers, we were so cute.

Edward, I think we're still cute.

Hm, Alice doesn't look convinced, does she?

Every night, you would leave your fairy plate out for the fire fairy.

It's so small, what are they?

That is her bath, that is some water to put in her bath,

that is a towel and these are her fairy cakes.

-It's so small you could just blow your nose in it.

-No!

Not on my fairy towel!

Now the fairy won't give us a good fire in the morning.

Mind your manners, Edward, cos you're off to church next to

meet the next expert - Ronnie!

Hello, Ronnie!

So, what can you tell us about this amazing church?

It's the Church of The Holy and Undivided Trinity

in Stratford-on-Avon.

Holy Trinity Church in Stratford-upon-Avon is where

Shakespeare was baptised as a baby in 1564 and buried in 1616.

His gravestone is engraved with a blessing and a curse.

It reads...

So, why did William Shakespeare want to have a curse wrote on his grave.

They dug up the bones of the graves outside here and

they piled them up, and Shakespeare didn't want to be among those guys.

Did Shakespeare want to be a VIP?

He certainly was and he did want to be a VIP, yeah.

He's probably knocking down there, like,

"Let me up, let me up, I want to meet Jedward."

Maybe, John, or maybe he's just turning in his grave.

Do you think, back then, Shakespeare would have wrote about me and Edward?

Oh, I think so.

-There are plenty of, if I may so say, clowns in his plays...

-Perfect.

..and you guys would be real good.

So, that was the last story on the list to learn.

Now it's time to get back to the hotel

and prepare for tomorrow's tour.

I've been all over Stratford, OK?

I've found out that basically everything

-is about William Shakespeare.

-What about this?

Yeah, Shakespeare used that to write his poetry.

Um, I'm not sure about that.

How are they doing next door?

"If thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,

"and I'll no longer be a Capulet."

"Chicken burger and chips."

"Spaghetti Bolognese."

Edward, that's the menu.

I need you to take this seriously! We need to win!

Don't stress out. We got a rubber ducky.

Oh, no, they're quacking up.

Let's hope for some more sense tomorrow. Night-night!

Morning!

Day two in Stratford, and both teams are feeling confident.

You think you're going to beat us? Look at us!

We have winner wrote all over us.

-Tell me a fact, John.

-Um, one fact...

-Yeah, no facts!

Stop arguing, guys, the tourists are on their way!

-Hello!

-Hello!

We haven't done Shakespeare at our school before.

I'm most excited about meeting our tour guide

and just going around and learning stuff.

I think it's going to be really exciting.

What's up, guys! Welcome to Jedward's Big Adventure.

You ready to learn some facts?

ALL: Yeah!

Let's do this!

We're here to tell you guys all about the man himself that is...

ALL: William Shakespeare!

I'm against Edward, he's against me, and I'm against him,

and he's against me.

Before we start, we need our team-mates.

Everyone make some noise for Bobby Lockwood from Wolfblood!

And guess what?

I got Dominique Moore from Horrible Histories!

She's Dominique and I'm Edward and together we are Edmonique!

-I'm John.

-I'm Bobby.

-And together we are Jobobbon!

Bob... Bob-a-job?! Bobba...?

Everyone, stop talking!

There's William Shakespeare!

Time to start the tours.

The winners will get to enjoy something

they loved in Tudor times - falconry.

All right, mate?

But the losers will get pelted with rotten vegetables

by some angry Tudor peasants.

Yep. They look very angry.

First up, it's Edmonique,

and they're at the RSC to tell us about Shakespeare.

They need to remember how many plays Shakespeare wrote

and which famous names and have graced the stage.

Welcome to the RSC. Want to know what that stands for?

Royal Shakespeare Company!

Good start.

He is one of the world's greatest playwrights,

so they put on lots of his plays here.

I'm going to start writing plays

so I can become the greatest playwright. What do you think?

I think that's an idea.

Oh, she doesn't look convinced, Edward.

You better stick to the facts, mate.

I think he wrote over a hundred and something...

He's written lots and lots of plays.

Oh, no, it's 37 actually. You're just waffling now.

Thy and thee and thou...

-Do you think they did crowd-surfing in Tudor times?

-No.

Echo!

I like the wood here. It's like a special type of wood.

No, it's not.

No echo.

What else happened?

-Who wrote Rapunzel?

-Not William Shakespeare.

-William Shakespeare didn't write Rapunzel?

-No.

But Rapunzel's a really good play.

Oh, it's completely fallen apart now.

What now?

OK... Um...

Awkward...

Oh, dear.

I don't think they really knew what they were talking about.

I didn't really get what they were saying anyway.

Next, it's team Jobobbon. Yes, Jobobbon.

Let's see if they can do any better.

So, Bobby. What can you tell us about this amazing place?

-What went on here?

-They made leather.

So all the clothes you're wearing right now were all made with pee.

CHILD: Get the hair!

Another way they made these gloves... It's disgusting...

These gloves are made with dog poo.

Pffrrt!

So we're now going to go into a song. You ready for this?

# We're tanning leather, not being funny

# Give us your pee, and we'll give you money!

# If you've got red hair like Queen Liz

# We'll pay double for your whizz! #

All right, guys. You now know the words. Let's go through the song.

-You ready?

-I'm ready.

BOBBY BEATBOXES

Oh, yeah!

# We're tanning leather, not being funny

# Give us your pee and we'll give you money!

# And if you've got red hair like Queen Liz.

# We'll pay double for your whizz! #

Fresh, yeah. Proper fresh.

Sorry, got a bit carried away there. Very tuneful.

But what did the tourists make of your efforts, Jabbotron?

Apparently, gloves were dipped in pee to give them tan.

My favourite fact would be that in Tudor times,

redheads have the most expensive wee.

Well, Jabobaobatron did a pretty good job there.

Let's see how Edmonique are getting on upstairs.

In Tudor times, there was loads of superstition.

People believed in fairies, in the devil

and they believed in all these crazy things.

They used to dress boys like girls

because they thought the devil kidnapped boys.

Want to wear it? Here you go!

Yes!

Oh! So far, so good.

They used to not sleep like this or sleep like that.

They used to have to sleep upright because they had chesty coughs.

HE COUGHS

-Edward, are you OK?

-I'm OK.

Everyone at the time had chesty coughs.

Oh, you were acting.

Yeah, that was acting. Yeah...

So, the teams are back at Mary Arden's Farm.

-We found a swan!

-Ah, it's a duck!

It's a goose.

Yes, let's hope their knowledge of Shakespeare is better

than their knowledge of animals.

Next, it's Team Jabobagobabadobatron.

Will they remember to mention how many sets of clothes Tudors had?

And what sort of strange remedies they had for the plague?

And can they remember who Mary Arden was?

Mary Arden was actually like related to...

She was an aunt of some sort...

She was related to William Shakespeare.

She was here and she knew a lot about farming.

Oh, no, John, she was his mum.

Back in the olden days,

people used to have a very small amount of clothes.

They had one or two sets of clothes,

so you had to wash your clothes all the time.

Well, that's one correct fact at least.

Just beat out all the stains and the wet.

I'm getting tired.

So am I! Enough already!

Let's see what Edmonique are up to.

They're ready to give their last tour of the day in the kitchen,

but will they remember to mention where Tudors sat to eat

and the name of the ale that was given to infants?

This is kind of like a mini fairy bath, and they put it outside

to wish for a good fire, and they had fairies for everything.

They might have had a fairy for like good weather, a fairy for Jedward...

A fairy for fire.

Yep, we get it. Fairies for everything.

-And what else?

-Um...

Oh, napkins! The napkins would go on your left shoulder.

Yes, for all the men, you put it on your left shoulder, and the

women, I don't know what you guys did, but you put napkins somewhere.

We're going to guess we put them on our right shoulder.

That's a guess.

Who needs actually facts when you can guess?

-You'd only move things with...

-Your left hand.

And you'd eat with your right hand,

or it might be the other way round, we don't know.

But you definitely did one thing with one hand

and one thing with the other.

Uh-oh, it's falling apart.

That big jar is for... Is it for the ale?

I don't think they drank ale...

-Yes, they did! Toddler ale!

-Fizzy drinks.

They didn't have fizzy drinks.

Oh, I despair!

Cheers!

What are you toasting, guys?

Here's to the shambles?

Let's see if the opposition can do any better. Jabobagobatron.

-I'm John, he's Bobby, and together we are...

-Jobobbon!

-Jobobbon, that's it.

They're in the church where Shakespeare's buried, but can

they remember what the church is called

and the year Shakespeare died?

The grave of William Shakespeare!

He was buried here in 1616.

As you can see, this is a curse and William Shakespeare had this

curse because he wanted to protect himself after death.

-You guys want to know an interesting fact?

-Yes.

-I'm related to William Shakespeare.

-Go on...

It's a complicated story...

So, like, William Shakespeare, his sister had like a kid,

and they had a kid, and over 500 years later,

-here I am.

-Rubbish.

When he said that he was related to William Shakespeare,

which is obviously not true.

You're not wrong!

That went awesome!

Bobby?! Where are you?!

"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, John -

"a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy."

Bobby, what are you doing? They're cursed! You moved the bones!

They're cursed!

You have it! I don't want it, John!

Take it, John!

Oh, look out. You might be cursed now, Jabbabybons!

The day is almost over, and all the tours are done,

but what's the verdict from the tourists?

I think that John was the best tour guide.

Cos he got us involved with everything, really.

-Yeah.

-But Edward and Dominique would forget their facts and be confused.

It'd be like, "Oh, I can't remember that fact."

I'm not really sure who's going to win. It's a real close call.

We'll soon find out, Scarlet, cos it's time for the big test!

The tourists are being asked two questions on each of the stories.

"How many sets of clothes would ordinary..." One or two sets.

Yeah.

For each correct answer,

there's a point in it for the team that told that story.

"In what year did Shakespeare die?"

BOTH: 1616.

And the team with the most points will win a chance to

try their hands at falconry, but the losers will be pelted with

rotten vegetables by angry Tudor peasants.

What's she doing?

The results are in and it's time to reveal the winners.

Mistress Alice is back with the results, but which team will

get a standing ovation and which one will be booed off the stage?

I think I know. Do you?

And now, young masters, the time you've been waiting for.

I can reveal the results.

I don't want to know!

Team Edward scored...

..36 points.

Oh, yeah. That sounds good.

Team John scored...

This is too much.

..40 points!

Congratulations Team Bonbonbobblyblobs.

You'll be off for some Tudor style falconry fun,

whilst the losers face a foodie humiliation.

-Ready for our forfeit?

-I'm not.

Millie, fly!

Hey, Millie. Wow!

So cool.

Bobby doesn't look convinced.

Come on, we won. We get to fly an owl just like in Harry Potter. Hedwig!

Amazing.

I don't actually like owls. I'm a bit scared of them.

Apologies, Bobby. We had no idea you didn't like owls.

-She's so light.

-You won't even know that she's landed on the glove.

-There's she's there.

-I know.

-Have a look.

-I don't...

-Look at this bird. Do it!

-She's beautiful.

-I can't look.

-It's Dr Phil. We're going to get through this together.

Well done. Well done. That's grand, that's good.

You've done a grand job.

Good on you, Bobby, for facing your fear.

Promise to get you something better next time.

Ice cream, foot massage or maybe throwing vegetable

at the other team!

-Edward, make him stop!

-John! What are you doing?

I never want to eat vegetables again!